Seven Lights: The Last
by Gamewizard2008
Summary: The final story of the Seven Lights Saga, also known as the New World Arc. The three-year voyage is over, so it's time for the Kids Next Door's final adventure in the First Dimension. They must defeat Lord English and the Thirteen Darknesses to save the multiverse.
1. It's Our Multiverse Now

**Folks, the 3-year wait is over. Our final journey begins. Now, I'm not exactly finished with _On The Way_ , yet, but I plan to give that regular updates. Anyways, here it is: the Beginning of the End. **

* * *

**_Chapter F-1: It's Our Multiverse Now_**

Once, there was a multiverse run by an organization called the Kids Next Door. The core of this multiverse was one composed by a Dimensional Fusion. From its essence, the other universes were born. Far across the Dimensional Plane were Original Worlds, whose denizens existed in these new universes, yet remained untouched and disconnected. Everything existed in harmony… until that day.

That universe called the Gameverse burst, and from it came a terrifying energy that threw the universes out of balance. "IDA" and "Legends" turned upside-down, "Fanverse" and "Out of Mind" collided into and shattered against each other. The chaos tore apart these worlds and spread to the Original Realms.

The members of Fairy Tail felt it as Earth Land trembled. "What's all that shaking?!" Gray Fullbuster shouted. "NATSU!"

"I'm right here, Gray, it's not me!" Natsu denied.

The Soul Society felt it. "What's this spiritual pressure?!" Kenpachi questioned, overwhelmed by the unseen power. "It's… humongous!"

"It feels… familiar…" Rukia was forced to the ground, trying to comprehend it.

It was felt in the Grand Line. "Nami, what's happening?" Zoro asked as the waves increased.

"I don't know… These earthquakes are unnatural."

But when everyone looked up at the waving green sky, the ultimate power towered over all of them. A black colossus with green lines that showed his shape and muscles, and "8" eyes flashing an array of colors on his skull. A triangle appeared on his chest, opening an eye and two little arms and legs.

 ** _"Alright, listen up you one-life-span three-dimensional skin puppets. For one trillion years, Lord English was trapped between dimensions, longing to reclaim what was rightfully his. Now he has returned, and he is your new Lord and Ruler for all eternity! Already, our followers were sent to conquer your pathetic worlds. Those who want to live will submit to Lord English and The Thirteen. All others will be wiped from existence!"_**

Davy Jones landed in the Grand Line, a world of endless oceans and many little islands. With his powerful waterbending, he sucked a thousand Marine ships into the maelstrom, assembling all the fallen souls of the sea to conquer every island. The army of Dutchman Pirates marched into Syrup Village, Cocoyashi Village, Dressrosa, and many peaceful islands, slaughtering everyone who wouldn't obey.

 _"Heartless Pirate"_

 _The Captain_

 _DAVY JONES_

Sōsuke Aizen landed in Death City, rich with spiritual energy. As his army of Hollows and Arrancar lay siege upon the town, he was confronted by Maka Albarn, Black Star, and Death the Kid. Black Star hurled his chain sickle around Aizen, binding him, leaving Kid to shoot him in the chest and for Maka to decapitate him. Their moment of victory was short-lived as Aizen suddenly appeared behind Maka to stab her, having deceived them with an illusion. He encased Kid and Black Star in a black coffin and had them punctured.

 _"Bleak Senses"_

 _The Shinigami_

 _SŌSUKE AIZEN_

Madara Uchiha arrived in Hyrule Kingdom, not waiting long before he summoned a giant meteor. The Four Giants came all the way from Termina and worked together to push the meteor back into space. Madara made it stronger with his Chakra, but the Giants were able to subdue it. …Unfortunately, they were not prepared for the other meteor Madara summoned directly above it.

 _"The All-Seeing"_

 _The Ninja_

 _MADARA UCHIHA_

Zorc Necrophades began conquering the World of Pokémon. He sent his Duel Monsters to capture every Pokémon they could find. They were brought to Giovanni, who would feed them the Perma-Mega Potion and convert them into permanent Mega Pokémon. Afterwards, they were caught inside Dark Balls constructed with Zorc's magic, leaving nothing to stop the evil Pokémon from conquering the planet.

 _"Lord of Games"_

 _The Captor_

 _ZORC NECROPHADES_

A terrible storm had covered Mobius, people and houses were swallowed in a gigantic tornado. "WAAAA _AAAAaaahh…!"_ Even Tails was whisked away in his pride, the _Tornado_. A figure in a dark hood stood firm on his pale white feet in the center of the cyclone, a single red eye glaring at his opponent. Sonic the Hedgehog ran faster than the wind and attacked the mage with a Spin Dash. The mage cast a red bolt from his wand.

 _"Broken Soul"_

 _The Immortal_

 _VOLDEMORT_

In Jump City, Cyborg and Starfire blasted energy beams at Yellow Diamond, who spawned Disco Diamonds to refract the beams, destroying the surrounding buildings. Beast Boy became a T-rex and charged the giantess from behind, but the Gem Empress became solid diamond and let the reptile break his teeth. The team was able to keep her distracted long enough for all the Teen Titans to arrive, from Titans East to Titans North. Yellow Diamond scowled at the annoyances, so she stabbed her own diamond body with her electric sword, sending a burst of lightning in every direction.

 _"Golden Empress"_

 _The Goddess_

 _YELLOW DIAMOND_

Thanos shook the ground as he landed in Equestria, a colorful world of Ponies, Pegasus, Unicorns, and the occasional Pegacornisisyu. Thanos stared at his Infinity Gauntlet, the Power Stone brimming a dark purple. He raised his mighty fist and PUNCHED the ground. With one strike, the Power Stone destroyed every living thing on the planet.

 _"Mad Titan"_

 _The Destroyer_

 _THANOS_

Blackbeard came to the Solana Galaxy and destroyed Captain Slag with a single Tremor Fist. He sailed the universe on Slag's flagship, destroying settlement after settlement. Even Ratchet & Clank were no match to his Dark-Dark powers. Teach became feared throughout the cosmos as the Black Hole.

 _"Blackbeard"_

 _The Adventurer_

 _MARSHALL D. TEACH_

And speaking of black holes, Dimentio Z. Winkiebottom made short work of the Star Wars Universe. An endless expanding vortex was enough to devour more planets than the Death Stars could hope to destroy, something he longed to do since the GKND's old days. Thus, he proved once and for all that spacebending beats psychicbending.

"Please, let's avoid using my last name." he said. "'Dimentio' is fine on its own."

 _"Multidimensional"_

 _The Connector_

 _DIMENTIO_

Zeref found himself in a bedroom of an ordinary house. He looked around, not seeing anything of interest, until he spotted four tiny girls in white dresses on a desk. "Look, fairies! It's a stranger!" Kururu the pink-haired fairy pointed.

"Sensei-san warned us not to talk to strangers!" Sarara the tomboy fairy stated seriously.

"But maybe he's friendly." Chiriri the blonde pigtailed fairy followed.

"Th-They're… so adorable!" Zeref choked on his breath.

"His face is turning red." Hororo the soft-spoken fairy noticed. "I think he's in love."

"It may be a trap!" yelled Sarara. "He could be an 'online predator'!"

"Does that mean he's going to eat us?" Kururu wondered.

"Stranger-san, are you going to eat us?" Chiriri asked.

"Th-They're so cute! I can't…!" The sight of the fairies warmed Zeref's heart and filled it with love. The love was so strong that it sent out a black cloud. The fairies died.

 _"Black Cloud"_

 _The Lover_

 _ZEREF_

Xehanort arrived in the World of Remnant, watching as the Grimm laid siege upon Beacon Academy. He used his Keyblade to Rewind time, removing the Grimm, restoring the school to its natural state, and reviving everyone that had died. "They won't be willing to submit if they're dead." Xehanort summoned a swarm of Heartless to join him in fighting the Hunters and Huntresses.

 _"Seeker of Darkness"_

 _The Keeper of Keys_

 _XEHANORT_

Ganondorf Dragmire came to the Wizarding World, populated by normal humans and wizards. Hogwarts School was burning in dark violet flames as demons snuffed out any survivors. Ganon was slowly approaching Rubeus Hagrid, who was bleeding on the ground. "RAAAAH!" The giant, Grawp charged at Ganon in a fury, but Ghirahim leapt out of the Devil's Sword and sliced a perfect line up Grawp's center.

Ganondorf stomped Hagrid's neck with enough strength to keep the half-giant down. "Tell me, again, where to find the Fantastic Beasts?"

 _"King of Evil"_

 _The Devil_

 _GANONDORF DRAGMIRE_

Meanwhile, in the MacFarlaneverse… nothing was different. In the Futurama Universe… still nothing was happening. Let's try the Simpsons Universe… Really, still nothing?

"Okay, where the heck is Baldy Bald?" Bill questioned.

"HELP!" cried the czar in question. "I ate too many Bob Burgers and got stuck in the portal!"

"Grrrrr! Dimentio, why don't you expand yourself?!"

"Because I've been dieting." Dimentio snickered.

 _"Chrome Dome but not really"_

 _The Trickster_

 _CZAR BALDY BALD III_

 **Three years later…**

The Thirteen Darknesses gathered at the dining room table, enjoying a buffet of foods taken from the universes. Team Rocket sat close to Giovanni, happily swallowing every tasty, rewarding meal they desired. The Thirteen's acting manager, Bill Cipher, walked on the table. His human body was aged to 10 years old, wearing a yellow tuxedo, his blonde hair scraggly, and wielding a golden scepter with a pyramid eye on the tip. "One thousand five-hundred-and-sixty-five conquered universes, and over eleven billion followers… Ladies and gentlemen of The Thirteen, the multiverse is officially our BITCH!"

"Couldn't have put it better myself!" Blackbeard munched a giant Gold Cherry Pie.

"And to think… just 23 years ago, I sided with that pestering child, Negatar Gnaa." Ganondorf scoffed. "So, it is truly an honor to say… that I have found my brethren. All the hatred in the universe…"

"All the worlds…" Xehanort followed.

"All the seas…" Davy Jones joined.

"And all for what?" Yellow Diamond scowled. "Just what is our reward?"

"In time, My Diamond." Bill spoke. "We're waiting for one more of us… oh, there he is!" The man in the dark hood and red eye joined them at the table. "Glad you could make it, Lord Voldemort. Or should I say… Vaatimort?"

He pulled off his hood, revealing his head of silver hair. Vaati's skin was more pale and the right of his face still masked. "I regret to say I have grown adept to this dark wizard's soul inside me." Vaati said. "But how can I object… when so many worlds lie in our wake."

"And soon, you will have your wish. With Dimentio's power, we will easily merge each and every world, ridding the existence of boundaries. But before you all can have your wishes, we have one final universe to conquer. The one that those meddlesome Kids Next Door sail to this very moment: the First Dimension."

"My Homeworld…" Diamond said.

"And now, it's time to introduce the man of the hour. The one who will truly rewrite the universe in a manner that suits us all. Members of The Thirteen: Lord English."

Bill directed their attention to the gigantic door. The Thirteen watched with awe and fear as it slowly creaked open. A green mist flowed in from the door. The ship quaked under the rhythm of fearsome footsteps. His silhouette could be seen, marching ever so closer to his feeble underlings. So many powerful beings in the room, yet they were all nothing to this monstrosity. The demon who brought them all together. The one who destroyed the universe. His flashing billiard eyes glared at them from the dark.

And as the mist cleared, the titanic shadow shrunk into a little childlike figure. His flashing eyes became red and ordinary: Lord English was merely a ten-year-old green-skulled boy with a red shirt and pants, a black left shoe and golden right shoe, and a darker red cape. As his underlings stared disappointedly at their so-called ruler, Young English took his seat at the end of the table. (Play "Tin Coffee Maker" from _Mad Father_.)

Young English reached for a steak smoking with purple flames. He took one bite and spit it out in disgust. "BILL, WHAT KIND OF MEAL IS THIS?! I specifically asked for chocolate cake seasoned with ketchup, powder, and whipped cream! Do you expect my brain to function on this garbage?! Hu-!" He gasped. "Wait… but what if… YES!" He whipped out a laptop and started typing. "Why let garbage go to waste, when I can turn it into French fries! Yes, of course! From now on, everyone in the universe eats French fries! Oh, and boogers for ketchup! This is creative GENIUS! !"

"Another outstanding breakthrough!" Bill clapped. "Truly extraordinary!"

"My, I am beside myself in awe!" Dimentio gasped. "And yet, humans continue to admire the works of Mona Lisa and Guertena? This child alone is art embodied!"

"This… is the destroyer of worlds?" Madara questioned. "This is the one we were meant to serve?"

"Hrm?" English looked up. He just now noticed them. "RAAAAH! Who are these weird-looking retards?!"

"Ahem, My Lord, they are your vassals." Bill corrected. "The ones specifically chosen by Your Highness."

"Yeah, well they look stupid! Except… THAT one!" He pointed at Jessie.

"Huh?"

In less than a second, English was behind Jessie. "You're sexy! Do something sexual for me!"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"Yes you will! I ORDER you to! BE SEXY!"

And suddenly, Jessie was wearing a thin bikini. "YUCK! DISGUSTING!" English shut his eyes. "I was thinking winter coat sexy, not drop dead melted ice cream PISS!"

"Why you LITTLE-!" Jessie tried to argue, but she was suddenly in a winter coat.

"Yes! YES! Now arouse me with physical contact! Pat my head like the sexy devil you are!"

"O…kay." Jessie softly patted his young head.

"Tell me I'm a good boy…"

"You're a very good boy."

"NOT VERY, JUST GOOD! !"

"Eyah! Okay, you're good! You're a good boy…"

"I am a good boy…" Young English flushed. "I am…"

"Awwwww." Jessie smiled at his adorableness. "When all's said and done, you're only a child… errrrr…" Jessie felt her strength faltering. "What's happening…" She spoke with an elderly voice.

"Jessie, your face! It's wrinkling!" James yelled.

"You're becoming an old lady!" Meowth shouted.

"W-What?!" Jessie pulled off her glove and observed her withered hand. "AAAAHH- cough, hack!"

"Lord English is a Logia timebender." Bill Cipher reminded. "He feeds off of time and exists in Past, Present, and Future. But not to worry, there's plenty to go around. Thanos, fix Jessie for me."

The Mad Titan used the Time Stone to restore Jessie's age. "You guys have done well to serve Lord English, so he will gladly share his eternity. But be prepared, my cohorts: our next mission will be the most important, yet: destroying the Kids Next Door."

"Why are we worried about a bunch of children?" Giovanni asked. "If Lord English is as powerful as he appears, he can wipe them off the plane of existence."

"Indeed, he should be able to." Bill picked up a glass of light-red liquid and twirled it. "But there's one thing that prevents him from making it a reality: the Seven Lights. The Seven Lights are composed of Calliope's mind, and Calliope is the only being whose power truly rivals Lord English. Her host body, Jagar King, might have been destroyed, but as long as the Seven Lights exist, Calliope will continue to live through them. That's why the bonds those Lights share with their friends prevent Lord English from touching them. Consequently," Bill smirked, "as long as you Thirteen Darknesses are alive, then the Kids Next Door can never destroy Lord English."

"I see." Aizen replied. "This is merely a game of kill or be killed. One side takes all."

"And the children's forces are still so small compared to ours." Thanos smirked. "It will take little effort to destroy them."

"Don't underestimate them, Thanos." Bill cautioned. "It may not look it, but the Kids Next Door are extremely fast learners. That Maddy child learned Haki Fury in roughly five hours… I won't be surprised if they actually turned into monsters after 3 years. But I have every confidence that my crew will be victorious! This is our final mission, guys: destroy the Seven Lights and the Kids Next Door!" Bill looked into his drink as it projected an image of space. "Once the Seven Lights are gone and the First Dimension is in our control… the multiverse will finally be our dance floor!"

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 **So, it probably goes without saying that, if you didn't read _Legend of the Seven Lights_ , or a majority of the Gameverse Saga, then you're in the wrong place. :P Otherwise, I humbly congratulate all who were able to make it this far! …Which, as far as I can tell, is IDA and Ohaymikoto. XP This is our final journey, boys and girls! Next time, we will see how our Nextgen kids look after 3 years of training!**


	2. The First Dimension

**Let's see how our favorite kids look after all these years.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-2: The First Dimension_**

Three years have passed since the Kids Next Door began their voyage on the Gummi Ship _Noah_. The people of Earth and the universe, despite the destruction of their home dimension, have gone on living inside the _Noah_ 's hull, their planets miniaturized to merely 3 inches tall. It was an age of both peace and panic. But nevertheless, it was time for the voyage to end. Our heroes were saying their last farewells.

"Chris, Aurora, it's time to leave!" Cheren called upstairs. "You ready?"

"We're coming, Bro!" Chris Uno slid down the stairs. The eldest Uno had his blonde hair down to his shoulders, and wore a blue jacket over a white shirt. His boots wore away last year, so he switched to white gym shoes. He also had red bandages around his knuckles. "Aurora's just taking her sweet time with girl things. YAH!" His shoulder was frozen.

"At least I don't watch myself flex in a mirror." Aurora Uno came downstairs. Her blonde hair was down to her elbows, and she wore a light-blue T-shirt, contrasting with her short orange skirt and blue high-heel sandals.

As she came down the stairs, Cheren was glancing down in embarrassment. He hasn't aged for 3 years, since the day he turned 10, so now his siblings and many of his friends towered over him. "Cheren, what's wrong?" Aurora asked.

"Uh, nothing. Let's get Sector V and go." Cheren grabbed his new jacket—it was silver and had a black Triforce on the back. When the trio stepped outside, the members of Sector V were already gathered around the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S..

"Hey, guys! Ready to go?" Haruka asked perkily. She was wearing a midnight-blue headband over her hair, along with black high-heel sandals with straps up to her knees. Her dress had longer sleeves.

"We need to drop by Dillon's house and pick him up." Artie said. Although he was taller, he was still scrawny, but his attire hadn't changed.

That's when Sheila Frantic dropped down on the bus's roof from the treehouse. "So, let's HURRY IT UP ALREADY! The New World ain't gonna be 'new' for much longer, and I wanna be there to make it old!" Sheila had literally not changed from her old clothes – same shirt, shorts, and sandals. Naturally, age took its toll and showed rips on the old clothes. Sheila had also taken to having her arms go _over_ the sleeves, so her shirt was only kept up by her small cleavage.

"The New World, a place unexplored by man or woman!" Carol Masterson sang. "Can you IMAGINE a place more romantic, Maseyfairy?"

"It'd be more romantic if overpowered supervillains weren't trying to kill us." Mason said glumly. He wore a sweater with a huge flame design while his T-shirt bore an explosion. He also had a developing beard.

"Well, you're bound to protect me. You DO have a $3,500 debt, after all."

"Ugh…"

 **York Household**

Dillon York had sideburns, but they were concealed by the black hood that shadowed his face. With a black sweater, black pants, and black shoes, he would be unnoticeable in the shadows. "I'm gonna miss you, Dillon!" Danika bent down and hugged her son. "You take good care of yourself! Show them what an operative legend is made of!"

"Heh heh… I will, Mom." He saw a C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. coming. "That must be my friends. I guess I'm off."

"Now, wait just a moment." Crystal Wickens stated. Dillon turned to find her standing with Yuki and Nolan. "You children shan't be going without adult supervision."

"Oh… you're coming too, Dad?"

"You can't expect me to sit here when there's a brand new world out there." Nolan smirked. "You're not afraid of your dad embarrassing you, are you?"

"Well, it's just… you're so old."

Nolan felt his heart break. "Oh… I guess I am. I'll just… roll away in shame." So with that, the hero rolled his wheelchair into the sunset. Vanellope played a sad tune on a Spanish guitar.

 _"He was an old man that flew across the night. His old beard crumbled by the chill of frostbite. Tired old bones can't punch another gut. As he rolls on home to his old man hut."_

"Dillon, you hurt the poor man's feelings." Crystal said.

"Oh, just come on, Dad." Dillon sighed.

"Sweet! I'll go get the Sandmobile!" He happily rolled inside.

 **Sector W**

"Mom, hurry up!" Anthony shouted impatiently. He was in the bathroom receiving a haircut from his mother. "I'm gonna be late!"

"Sweetie, you won't be able to enjoy the New World if you have itchy hair! It's a shame I'm already letting you skip a bath!"

 _"Michelle doesn't ever get a haircut…"_ he mumbled grumpily.

"Hee hee hee! At least there's some benefits to being a rock creature!" Diancie, the Firstborn of Earth, aka Anthony's sister Michelle, giggled.

When the haircut was over, Anthony put on his open green vest and dark-green khaki shorts. His mother gave her kids one last hug. "Good luck, Anthony and Michelle. You've become great earthbenders. I know you'll defeat Lord English."

"You know it, Mom! I'll throw a steel rock and knock his golden tooth out!"

The second Anthony stepped outside- "YAH!" Five light arrows struck the ground around him. When he looked up, he saw nothing in the sky… but he knew. "FYBI, GET DOWN HERE! !"

From 10,000 meters up in the sky, Fybi Fulbright giggled. Her orange hair was in a large puffy bun, she wore a green top designed like Greek robing and showed her belly, and she kept her brown skirt. She also wore sandals with taller straps and had a mechanical quiver on her back. "I CANST SEE THOU ART ALERT AS ALWAYS!" Fybi cried as she shot down like a torpedo.

"You sure you don't wanna consider shoes?" Aranea Fulbright asked. She wore a sky-blue hoodie, blue gym shoes, and longer pigtails hanging down. She was still the shortest of her team.

"You sure you don't wanna grow taller?"

"You sure you don't wanna be a Minish like Rupert?"

"Can we just GO?!" Harvey shouted impatiently. "I just wanna get Mesprit back!"

 **Sector IC**

"YAAAAY!" Suki Crystal skied in circles on the street. She had ice sandals on her feet, wore a snowy dress, and had longer hair. "We're going to save the WORLD, save the WORRRRRLD! …Why are we saving the world, Miyuki-chan?"

"You STILL haven't explained the prophecy to her?!" Terry Stork shouted.

"It… didn't come up?" Miyuki blushed. She wore black- and white-striped stockings, white hair in pigtails, and there were clocks all over her black dress, each depicting different Time Zones.

"Well, she knows how to swing a Keyblade, at least." MaKayla said. Her hair was in a ponytail and she wore her father's purple cloak. "You ready for this, George?"

George King smirked and unwrapped his bandaged head. His forehead had a minor scar shaped like an '8'. "I am."

 **Sector W7**

"YAHOOOOO!" Chimney yanked the horn of her R.O.C.K.E.T.-T.R.A.I.N.. She wore her grandmother's conductor hat and oversized white jacket. "GIRLS, IT'S TIME FOR ROCKET-SAN'S FINAL VOYAAAAGE!" ("Gyoooom!")

"I'm ready to go, Chimney!" Aisa declared, flying into the train with Jet Dials on her heels. Her hair was tied in a bun and she had arrow markings on her feet.

"Me, too!" Apis wore a gold priestess uniform.

"WAIT FOR UUUUUS!" Aeincha and Mocha were racing head-to-head for the train, and both made a great leap inside. Aeincha's hair was longer and in a ponytail, she had ditched her jacket and kept her orange T-shirt, a pink skirt with blue square-patterned stripes, and pink sneakers with white laces. Mocha, who had to be shrunken to fit inside the train now, had a yellow top and shorts with yellow straps down her otherwise bare legs – an outfit knitted for her by the Amazons.

"I can't believe we're finally going to the New World." Apis smiled with wonder. "It's going to be really dangerous. Are you sure you don't wanna stay, Aeincha?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Aeincha said positively. "I may not be as strong as the rest of you, but if I'm not around to fix your hair, then I don't deserve to be a part of your sector!"

"THEN LET'S GOOOOO!" Chimney stomped the gas and the flying train blasted off. April Goldenweek was calmly painting a picture of them flying into a sun. The 16-year-old artist had a red artist's cap and her hair in a red straight ponytail. She had rainbow stockings going into black curl-toed shoes, kept her jacket of clouds in the sky, and had a pink shirt with a rising sun.

 **Sector JP**

"Hurry up, guys, we're going to be late!" Karin Kurosaki called to her teammates. Her black hair was in a short ponytail, and she had on a white soccer jersey with red shorts.

"I'm planning to bake food for absolutely everyone!" Yuzu Kurosaki cheered. Her light-brown hair was in pigtails, and she wore a yellow hoodie with a pink skirt. "Nothing starts a journey like a good snack!"

"Keep your panties on, I'm coming!" A cracked boy's voice shouted. Jinta Hanakari marched into the hangar: he underwent a major growth spurt over the past three years that made him taller than any of his teammates. He tore the sleeves off his T-shirt to appear tougher, his red hair was more thick, and he developed muscles. Naturally, puberty was also causing Jinta's voice to crack. "Hurry up, Ururu!"

Ururu panted as she caught up. The sheepish girl had undone her pigtails to let her hair hang long, and she wore a light-blue dress with yellow butterflies. She is still the shortest member of Sector JP. "I'm ready to go, Jinta-kun."

"BWAH! !" There was an explosion heard behind the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S.. They looked around to see Kodama covered with soot. "Hee hee hee… nothing motivates me like a good explosion." She snickered. The pyrotechnician's hair strands were more stretched, and explosion designs were all over her blue robe.

"Don't kill yourself before we get there." Karin stated. "Save that firepower for the enemies first."

 **Facilier's Voodoo Emporium**

"WENDY, I can't believe how fast you've grown up!" Chelia hugged her friend very tightly. "Only 14 years old and you're already off to save the universe from terrible destruction, I'm gonna miss you so much, please come home safely!"

"Let her go, Miss Blendy!" Carla demanded. "We can't have her spine crushed before we even get there!"

"Sorry!" Chelia released her.

"It's okay, Chelia." Wendy chuckled. Her blue hair was in pigtails, she wore a red open shirt, her emerald dress underneath, and brown Greek sandals. "You'll watch over Romeo while I'm gone, right?"

"Of course I will! He's like a wife watching her husband go to war, it's so romantic! …Except that he's a boy."

"My girl's not going anywhere without me!" Dr. Facilier announced, grabbing Wendy and Carla in his arms. "Boys and girls, the Voodoo Emporium is temporarily closed! BON VOYAGE!" He Disapparated in a heartbeat.

 **Somewhere outside Tokyo**

Nagisa Shiota parked the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. III in an open field as he stepped out. He approached a yellow octopus-like creature in a uniform. "Korosensei… my friends and I are about to go to the First Dimension. I just wanted to say good-bye… and thank you for teaching me Rokushiki."

"You'll do well, Nagisa. I know you will. But just promise me one thing…"

"Never use my skills to kill anyone, right? Or is it to remember that my friends make me stronger?"

"Actually, I was gonna ask you to buy me some souvenirs! The First Dimension sounds like a cool place."

"Ehh…" Nagisa sweatdropped. "Yeah, I'll be sure to do that. Hehe…"

 **KND Newbase**

Every operative in the Kids Next Door and their allies had come to the Sooper Convention Center. Kimaya Heartly and Shelly Johnson had arms around the other, laughing about whatever kid they were gossiping about. Aisa was having her feet polished by Miguel Rivera, a Spanish boy and Shoeshiner of Sector M, whom Aisa had found a romance with a couple years ago.

Panini Drilovsky and Maddy Murphy were on the stage, waiting for Cheren. Maddy was wearing a blue sleeveless top that showed her belly, blue shorts, and long blue socks with the same shoes. Her hair was tied in a ponytail by a blue braid, and she wore red fingerless gloves. Panini hadn't changed her clothes, except for green running shoes. Don Quixote Sugar was on a higher platform, singing to the audience to pass the time.

"Is everyone accounted for?" Cheren asked as he climbed onstage.

"Almost. We're waiting for Zach." Maddy answered.

"I'm right here!"

"GYAAAAAH!" The three gaped. Zach Murphy had grown to adult size, sporting huge muscles covered only by an open black jacket. The black speedos on his bare legs weren't a pleasant sight.

"Boy, do I love those timeskip growth-spurts!"

"ZACH, change back to normal right now!" Maddy ordered. "No one wants to look at hulking man-boys the whole adventure!"

"Awwww." Zach poofed and changed back to normal. The only thing different about his attire was the black jacket. "I'm keeping the jacket."

"Well, Shorty, it's now or never." Panini said.

"You're right, Panini. It's finally time." Cheren approached the microphone and tapped it thrice. "Ah-he-hem: KIDS NEXT DOOR RULEZ!"

 _"KIDS NEXT DOOR RULEZ, SIR!"_

"Boys and girls, the moment we've all been waiting for is finally here! In just one more hour, the _Noah_ is scheduled to arrive in the First Dimension, and our final battle with the Thirteen Darknesses will begin! This is going to be harder than any mission any of you have ever been on… which is why the choice is up to you. If any of you are willing to come with us and fight for the fate of the universe, just come up here. If you don't think you're up to the challenge, then you're free to stay and protect your families. Which will it be?"

But as Cheren expected, the members of Sector V, Sector W, IC, W7, JP, KB, RZ, and SA climbed down from the audience, ready for the ultimate battle. Kimaya shook hands with Django and bid her skeleton friend farewell as she joined the party. The giants of Sector GT were roaring for Mocha. Mary gave Ib a hug and accompanied Sunni, Kodama and Quill Ramsey did a knuckle-touch, and Sandy Sidney cried as her twin brother bravely walked down. Melody Jackson gave Eric a kiss on the cheek before bidding him farewell.

"The ones that are staying behind, you don't need to worry. When you hear from us again, we will have destroyed Lord English, and our planets will be restored! Until then, may we count on your support! NEBULA! TAKE US ONBOARD!" In a split second, the volunteers were splorped off the planet. The remaining operatives cheered the names of the ones they were rooting for.

 **The _Noah_**

The kids spared one final look at their shrunken planet before following Nebula up to the _Noah_ 's deck, where Team Vweeb was already waiting. The Supreme GKND Leader had a black, sleek gown and black high-heels, along with star earrings. "Well, the twerps finally made it." Augustus von Fizzuras remarked. The young captain was much taller at 18 years old, but his crew of infants haven't aged a day. "I was gettin' tired of driving this thing. Haylee, you want a spin at the wheel?"

"Aye-aye, Captain!" Haylee excitedly jogged to the cockpit.

The next hour was spent with eagerness and anxiety. Nagisa was holding Morgiana's hand, MaKayla held Terry's, as did other couples. Sheila was carefreely sitting on the ship's edge and swinging her feet over the whipping vortex. _"The end of our voyage is nigh."_ spoke the mighty Encyclopod at long last. _"The restoration of our destination is complete. Children, I present to you… the First Dimension."_ In a terrific flash of light, the _Noah_ had flown out of the First Byway. After 3 years of sailing, they soared in outer space.

Thousands of marvelous planets hovered in the distance. One seemed to have golden clouds rotating around it, one was shaped like a kitten's head, one was made of ice with giant notes. Gigantic clocks floated in the weightless atmosphere—Miyuki was right to wear what she did. There were enormous volcanoes in the distance, creating streams of orange light that flew through gateways of water, becoming rainbows. A realm too unbelievable to behold, they would need all the time in the universe to see it all. Unfortunately, they had only a few minutes before a shadow covered the ship. (Play "Rumble With Wendy" from _Paper Mario: Color Splash_!)

As if out of nowhere, the _King Dutchman_ appeared out of thin space, sailing imposingly over the _Noah_. "WELL, WELL, WELL!" Bill Cipher announced from the keel. "The mortals actually made it! I coulda SWORE you would've died of boredom by now! You've been swirling in a trans-dimensional TOILET for 3 years while we've been having the run of the multiverse! Sadly, we don't have time to play games with you. THANOS! ANNIHILATE THEM!"

The Mad Titan leapt off the _Dutchman_ and shook the _Noah_ 's deck. He raised his Infinity Gauntlet and PUNCHED the deck with a burst of power from the Power Stone. The _Noah_ was too strong to be destroyed, so the outpour created a shockwave that was sure to destroy them all. Thankfully, Wendy and Sunni had combined their powers to protect everyone inside bubbles. "WHAT?!"

"Why don't you fight someone your OWN size!" Mocha charged and tackled the titan, applying strength with her Haki in an attempt to pick Thanos up, but Thanos used the Soul Stone to shrink Mocha down to human size. Mocha gasped, but had no time to ask what happened before Thanos chucked her into space. "WAAAAH!"

"Well, that plan didn't work." Vweeb said as he nimbly hopped up Thanos' bulky body and entered the nose. The half-Kateenian began shooting lasers up into the giant's skull.

"AAAARGH!" Thanos clasped his head in agony, desperately punching his own face to get the nuisance out.

"I got ya, Mocha!" MaKayla used timebending to Rewind Mocha back to them, but could go no farther as Ganondorf kicked Kayla away like a ball. Cheren Uno went God Tier and flew at Ganon like a comet, clashing swords with the Evil King, the speeds of their swings equal to one-another. Karin Kurosaki became a ghost and tried to kick Ganon from behind, but the soccer star was grabbed by Blackbeard, forcing Karin to revert to human form. The chubby pirate slammed Karin's face against the solid gum deck.

"HEY, FATASS, OVER HERE!" Sheila Frantic dashed up to Blackbeard and swung her Light Foot against his crotch. Teach hacked spit out of his mouth and grabbed his crotch in pain.

"OH MY GOD, IT HURTS! AHHH, THE PAIN!"

"I guess men all have the same weakness after all!" Karin smirked. She turned back into a ghost to shoot an Ecto Ray at Blackbeard, but Sōsuke Aizen appeared to block the attack. "Grrrr! Who are you?!"

"You don't remember me, Karin Kurosaki? Why, you were my idol back in the day."

Karin gasped. "Aizen… is it really you?"

"Perhaps it's time to show you what I learned." He cast a giant blue spirit flame that Karin evaded, but the Soul Reaper flew up to cut her chest.

Ganondorf summoned Ghirahim to grab Cheren by the neck and slam him to the deck, leaving Ganondorf to impale the boy's heart. "AAAAAAAHHH!"

"CHEREN! !" Panini cried.

"HAH HAH HAH HAH!" Ganon cackled. "At last, you lay dead at my feet!"

"Guess again, Ganondork!" Cheren burst into golden flames, knocking Ghirahim off and flipping behind Ganon for a back-slice. "You're facing a god now!"

"UWAAAH!" Ganon clutched the cut spot. "Why you pathetic-"

"YAAAH!" Crystal Wickens leapt forth and BASHED Ganon with her staff—it snapped in half. "Uhhh…" Crystal found herself staring awkwardly as Ganon faced her confusedly.

"…What was that?" asked the Evil King.

"Um… did I mention I'm a HUGE fan of your stories?"

Ganon merely flicked Crystal in the nose—enough force to blast her across the deck. She was about to hit Truman Zorc, but the possessed child slurped her into one of his cards. "Well, that adds another one to the collection." He looked down and observed his deck of captives: Yuzu Kurosaki, Kirie Beatles, Index, Apis, Lola Stork, and Sally Harper.

"He caught that many people already?!" Anthony exclaimed

"I prefer to get the weak ones out of the way. Escaping these cards is easy if your will is strong enough."

"Ruby, break the cards, it'll free the captives!" Sapphire shouted.

"I'M ON IT!" Ruby locked fists and fired her mech-gloves like twin rockets.

"I don't think so!" Zorc projected a card barrier.

"GUESS AGAIN!" Wendy cast a spell to shatter the shield.

"AAAAHH!" The possessed human was blown away by the rockets. His cards burned in midair.

"What?!" Sapphire gasped. "They didn't reappear! My Future Vision…"

"Perhaps it is because… that was not Zorc?" Sōsuke Aizen cocked a brow.

Indeed, the real Zorc appeared behind Sapphire. "But thanks for showing yourself." Before Sapphire could react, Zorc sucked her inside a card as well.

"SAPPHIRE!" yelled Ruby.

"Great job, Zorc! Get back on the ship!" Bill ordered.

"HEY!" Ruby tried to throw another punch, but Zorc jumped off the deck, summoned a Red-Eyes Black Dragon, and flew up to the _Dutchman_.

"Mom, let's go up and help them!" Wendy yelled.

"Alright!" The winged kitten grabbed her daughter and carried her onto the enemy flagship. Almost instantly, a powerful gust of wind tried to blow them off, forcing Wendy to grab the ship's rail while Carla grabbed her ankle.

"NO ONE'S allowed on this ship!" Bill commanded. "Blow them away, Vaatimort!"

"Vaatimort?" Wendy questioned, having to squint her eyes from the gusts. She took a deep breath and sucked all the wind into her mouth, allowing her and Carla to regain footing and see the one responsible. She gasped. "DAD?!"

The cloaked wizard gasped. "Wendy… you're alive?"

"WAH!" Wendy and Carla were grabbed in Davy Jones' tentacles as the Heartless Captain began squeezing them. Melody Jackson used water tentacles to haul herself onto the deck and slice the two free, but all Vaati did was blow the three of them off.

 _"Do not distract yourself, Vaati!"_ Voldemort hissed.

"CHEREN!" Haylee yelled from the cockpit. "Some of the Darknesses have entered the ship!"

"Is the Planet Room secure?" Cheren asked, blocking Ganon's sword with his Mirror Shield, while Maddy was restraining Ghirahim.

"Yes, the shield Wendy cast is still active. I'm just worried about the people inside."

"MaKayla, do you think you'll be able to do it?"

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for your order."

"Hee hee hee!" Czar Baldy Bald cackled mischievously as he and Zeref crept through the _Noah_ 's hull. "We made it inside, Zeref! Oh, BOY, we are gonna swipe some panties!"

"Not interested. We're only here to track down the Lights and destroy them. Huh?" Zeref noticed someone at the end of the corridor. It was April. "She's one of them!" He conjured a Death Sphere and cast it, burning a perfect hole through April. Her body melted like paint. "It was a fake?"

The two turned around the passage to find realistic April paintings lined along the walls. They all remained still and flat as the two walked through. Suddenly, Morgiana kicked out of one of the paintings and blew Baldy away with a Rocket Kick. "Surprise!" Yuki Crystal dropped from a ceiling vent and froze Zeref solid. Sandman rolled out of hiding, grabbed Zeref out of the ice, slammed him to the floor, and bent his arm. "Nolan, I know you're going through a midlife crisis, but breaking kids' arms?"

"Call it some new-age discipline."

"Hm hm hm." They looked down when Zeref's arm twisted itself back to normal and the young wizard helped himself up. "I must say, you two are as violent as two other people I know."

Zeref was immediately blasted across the hall by a large laser. "Don't stay too close to him!" Artie cautioned, possessing a Mega Diffusion Rifle. "According to the fairytale, he's surrounded by a death cloud. He's also unkillable."

The laser burned a hole in Zeref's body, but it quickly repaired itself. "It's just like those Inferi." Nolan remembered.

Zeref was caught in Dr. Facilier's Shadow Possession. The witch-doctor followed this with an electric storm from his Devil's Wand, a magic skull mask over his face. "Zeref was the one who first created the Grand Inferius. And even _they_ didn't have a defined weakness."

"WAAAAH!" Baldy Bald was pinned on his front as Morgiana painfully tied his arms. "STOP IT, PLEASE, UNCLE!"

"Nagisa, I have him! Should we handcuff him?"

"No, make him show us his porn stash!"

"?" Morgiana froze confusedly. "Um… Nagisa?" She looked behind. "AAAAH!" Baldy Bald was directly behind her, wearing Nagisa's clothes and grinning like a pervert. "Then who did I…" She looked at the person she was on. "CHUCK NORRIS?!" Upon realizing this, a fist shot out of Chuck's beard and pelted Morg repeatedly.

"NOW I got you!" Baldy Bald grabbed both Nagisa and Morgiana's heads. "Super Fist of Red Magic: Full Body Baldification!"

"GYAAAH!" The hair on their heads vanished into thin air. They could feel the tiny follicles in their noses, arms, and wherever else disappearing. Their bodies felt so smooth, slippery, and cold as their chrome domes shone.

"And now, Super Fist of Blue Magic: Armpit Tentacles!" Hairy tentacles, one blue and one magenta, grew out of his armpits and slithered up through the ducts. "Ha ha HA! Finally, I've found them!"

"What's he talking about?!" Nagisa exclaimed. "The Lights?!"

"Or the planets?" Morg wondered.

When the tentacles retracted, they had in their possession some nosehair trimmers. "I haven't been able to breathe through my nose in ages." He used his armpit tentacles to trim his nose.

"Talk about growing more than you can cut." Nagisa remarked.

On the deck, Thanos was finally able to blow Vweeb out of his nose. He attempted to stomp the little alien, but Diwata blew him back with a Lunar Beam. Thanos shot the Lunarian with the Power Stone, but she and Crest combined power to counter this. Diancie spawned a sharp pink diamond over the titan's left arm, but when Thanos noticed, he used the Space Stone to warp. "If I can only cut off his left arm, he couldn't use the gauntlet." Diancie said.

"What's WRONG with you guys?!" Bill Cipher yelled from atop the _Dutchman_ 's mast. "You're the most powerful people in the multiverse! And you can't even beat a swarm of brats that were cooped up in a ship for three years?! Show them that Darkness power!"

"Things not going as you hoped, Cipher?" an Indian voice spoke. Bill turned and looked up, seeing Jessie hovering on a bubble cloud.

"Well, well, well! If it isn't Polokus! I was waiting for you to show up! But what's this? I sense _another_ presence inside you." Bill narrowed his eyes, seeing deep into Jessie's subconscious. "Ahhh… Madotsuki. You just couldn't stay away from me, could you?"

"You stole her life, you son of a bitch! But you can't hide, anymore! I'm going to help her get payback!"

"Really, Jessie? But how can she rely on a bed-wetter like YOU?" Bill flashed a light from his scepter. The world around Jessie turned gray as a monstrous figure towered over him: it resembled Shelly Johnson, but with fangs drooling venom, claws, and fur.

 _"HEY, SHORTS! Why don't you live underground if you like eating DIRT so much?!"_

"F*** off, Shelly! I stopped being scared of you YEARS ago!"

 _"DON'T IGNORE ME!"_ Shelly squashed him into the ground. _"EAT DIRT, SHORTS! EAT IT 'TIL YOU CHOKE!"_

"MY dreambending awakens even fear that has been lost!" Bill stated. "You can act brave all you want, you can cut your emotions aside, but as long as I know your past, I'll bring it back!"

A Light Arrow struck Jessie from above and broke his nightmare trance. When Bill looked to where the arrow came from, he saw Cheren floating above in his golden flames. "Where's Lord English, Bill?"

"Lord English? BWAH HAH HA HA! You got your hands full with these guys and you're asking to see Lord English?!"

Cheren tossed rapid gold fireballs that Bill blocked, then zipped down to clash with Bill's staff. "WHERE IS HE?!"

"Oh, you're actually serious. Sorry, kid, but His Lordship has more important things to do than waste his talents on you. That preview on the Great Clock was all you were getting! If you think you deserve a chance to even LOOK at him again, you'll have to defeat all Thirteen of them! But hey, we're all right here!" Bill spread his arms. "Go ahead! Show us what you learned these past three years! Beat every one of us here and now!"

Cheren burned flames around his sword and swung down at Bill with incredible fury. Though Bill blocked with his staff, Cheren's power was slowly cutting through it. The staff snapped in two as Bill slammed down onto the deck. "OW! MY ARM!" Bill moaned.

Cheren rocketed directly down, spinning like a firecracker with every intent on puncturing Bill's human body. "CHEREN, STOP! !" Jessie screamed. Cheren froze just inches from Bill's chest. "We need Bill alive, remember?! We need to switch his realities with Madotsuki in the Dream World!"

"Huh?" Bill cocked a brow. He then smirked. "So, that's what you're up to. Unfortunately, the only place you'll see me in the Dream World is IN YOUR DREAMS!" Blue flames brimmed on Bill's hands. The area became monochrome as an army of Bills – his original triangular form – surrounded them from every direction.

But just then, a window appeared in the center of the illusion. Bubbles blasted out of it like bullets, blinding the single eyes of each Bill clone. A body of pink fire spawned around the window and became Madotsuki. "I'm not going to let you touch them."

"Oh, for the love of saké." Bill rolled his eyes.

"Cheren, what's our plan of action!" MaKayla yelled. "Do we just keep fighting?!"

Cheren faced down at the _Noah_ 's deck. Thanos had knocked Anthony and Diwata out, Sheila was running in midair caught in Blackbeard's black hole… the Darknesses were wearing them down, and not even all of them were attacking. They certainly weren't using their full power, either. "MaKayla, Course B!"

"GOT IT!" MaKayla FLASHED, and a blue Recordance Clone replaced her. Cheren quickly grabbed Jessie and brought him down to the _Noah_.

Meanwhile, the current MaKayla was safe in the planet room. She spent all this time channeling Time Chi into her Chrono Staff, so when the order was given, she expanded a humongous bubble over the entire ship. The bubble popped softly like any bubble would. The _Noah_ reappeared several feet away, while the Darknesses onboard the vessel reappeared on the _Dutchman_. (End song.)

"WHAT THE ***?! ?" screamed Bill.

"HAYLEE, turn the ship 90 degrees port side!" Cheren commanded.

"Aye-aye, Captain!" With a mighty turn of the wheel, the _Noah_ spun around and sailed elsewhere.

Miles away from the battle, the Encyclopod was flying his own path. _The children knew that The Thirteen would ambush them the moment they set foot in this dimension. That is why the timebender created a Save State to take them on an alternate path. A wise decision, children. It is still too early to face the Darknesses._

"MACCUS-AH! Engage pursuit and fire all cannons!" Davy Jones commanded. The _Dutchman_ 's helmsman began to chase, and the crewmen inside fired Bombshell Bills that homed in on the _Noah_.

"Wendy, dost thou still hath the wind thou inhaled earlier?" Fybi asked.

"Yes, I do!"

"Let it blow!"

"Sky Dragon ROOOAAR!" Wendy unleashed the wind storm taken from her father, and Fybi used her bending to surround the _Noah_ in a windy barrier. Fybi mixed hot air with cold air and projected lightning on the outside of the barrier. "Repiti!" Wendy cast the repeating spell to keep the wind spinning, so Fybi would not have to exhaust herself. The Bombshell Bills couldn't penetrate it.

Davy Jones looked up at the giant gates of water within the space. He used his powerful bending to extend giant tentacles from the gates, wrapping them around the _Noah_ and catching the lightning. The electric traveled along the currents and away from the ship. "Canst a girl know relaxation?!" Fybi shouted, trying to create more lightning.

"Can't this thing move a bit faster?!" Mason yelled.

"I'm doing the best I can!" Haylee responded. "Ancient Trollian candy technology isn't my forte!"

"We have to go back and fight them!" Ruby stated. "Sapphire and the others haven't come back!"

"MaKayla's Save State only affected the people who were on the ship at the time." Miyuki mentioned.

"Darn it! We have to do something, but I don't think we can take them, yet!" Cheren followed.

"Blimey, then what was all that boring TRAINING for?!" Sheila asked angrily.

"Wait a minute, has anyone seen Zach?" Maddy asked.

"WE'RE CATCHING UP!" Jones cackled. "Master Maccus, what is the estimated time of interception-ah?!"

". . ."

"Master Maccus, answer! …Master Maccus- ah?" Jones turned.

Maccus was caught in a fish net, and the helm was manned by Zach Murphy in a navy captain's uniform. "WHERE THE HECK DID HE COME FROM?!" Bill screamed.

"MEN, it's time to deliver this cargo of fleece to Planet England! They'll need it for the upcoming war with Australia!"

"What's fleece?" Blackbeard asked.

"It's a new hotsauce I invented!" Zach held up a bottle of brown sauce. "I've been eating it every day since I was born! That reminds me: it's time for the annual Ode to Fleece!" Some catchy music started playing as Zach chugged the bottle down.

 _Ketchup's good and mustard's decent_

 _On fries, dogs, or buns_

Zach turned the wheel left and right to the rhythm, rocking the _King Dutchman_ unstably as the crewmen tried to stay on foot. The cards in Zorc's pocket were coming loose.

 _I'll always take whipped cream_

 _On pudding just for fun_

He shook the wheel forward and back, rocking the ship in those directions.

 _But nothing else compares_

 _To that feeling on my tongue_

He shifted on his back and danced, causing the ship to do the same as they all fell behind him, grabbing onto one-another starting from the ledge.

 _When I eat fleece, I will release_

 _Like a chewing gum!_

He flipped the ship to right-side-up, the crew landing on the deck.

"Grrrr! Don't just stand there, you idiots, KILL HIM!" Bill commanded. The Thirteen and Team Rocket charged to attack.

 _Fleeeeece tastes so goooood_

 _"ARRRRRGH!"_ The ship tilted at 90 degrees left, the crewmates falling that direction.

 _Juuuuust like it shoooouuuld_

 _"ARRRRRGH!"_ It changed to 90 degrees right, so the crew fell that way and grabbed the railing.

"If I don't get some FLEECE RIGHT NOW, I'll scream like a little GIRRRLLL! And DRIVE all 'round the worrrrrrrlllld…"

The ship spun in every direction at 360 degrees. When Zorc was trying to hold on, he watched as his entire deck of prisoners flew away. "NO! MY CAPTURE CARDS!"

Yuzu, Index, Kirie, Sally, Crystal, and hundreds of people captured from the multiverses scattered across the First Dimension. Among them was Zach, his body compressed to two dimensions as he glided back to his friends' vessel.

Upon landing on the _Noah_ , Zach poofed back to 3-D. "That oughta keep them busy for a while."

"Did you save the others?" Ruby asked.

"Uh, let me see… AHA! Right here!" Zach whipped out five baseball cards of Roman gladiators.

Ruby socked him in the head. "YOU IDIOT! They're going to be killed by those monsters!"

"Maybe not!" Sunni said. "I could still feel their aura signatures from within those cards. The signatures are scattering—they must've fallen off the ship!"

"This is true." MaKayla said, her eyes closed. "And I can sense them landing on the various planets in this dimension. We'll have to go and rescue them before the Darknesses find them. It might be best if we split up."

"We can't split up now!" Chris yelled. "We barely got away from them, we won't stand a chance if we're alone."

"Then we'll go in groups." Maddy stated. "If we're lucky, the Darknesses will split up too and hunt us down. We can pick them off one at a time."

"You really think it'll be that easy?" Cheren asked. "What if…What if Lord English-"

"If Lord English was really that powerful, couldn't he have wiped us out of existence by now? Like, maybe…maybe he can't. Maybe there's a reason he needs the Darknesses."

"Hmm… you're right." Cheren said.

"You know, it wasn't just our friends' auras I was sensing." Sunni mentioned. "I felt a bunch of other auras from that card deck. They could be more prisoners."

"Hm hm hm." Cheren chuckled. "A collectathon… great." He switched to a serious look. "All right. We'll split up then. At the moment, we have four objectives: recover the cards, find the Firstborn Egg Chambers, find the trolls… and defeat the Darknesses. Make sure the Lights stay protected."

"I'll stay to guard the _Noah_." Nebula said. "Along with anyone who wishes to stay. Kids Next Door… Move out."

The operatives all boarded their own ships and flew across the universe. During the divide, they all had a moment of relaxation.

"STOP!" Xehanort whipped up his Keyblade to finally freeze the _King Dutchman_ 's constant spinning.

"WAAAA _AAAaaaahhh…"_ Baldy Bald was blown away by the momentum.

"That was absolutely dreadful!" Yellow Diamond stated furiously. "Gem ships NEVER lose control!"

"At this point, I'll take your word for it." Zorc approached the Gem Empress and withdrew a card. "Luckily, I was able to keep the card you requested."

Diamond bent down to see the card. Sapphire was helplessly banging on the 2-D barrier. "Yes… good work." The empress picked up the tiny card in her fingers. "Don't worry… I will set you free before long, Blue Diamond."

* * *

 **Wanted to start the first stage, but… got too carried away with the fight. X) Y'all deserve to relax now. Next time, the adventure truly begins.**


	3. New Galaxia

**The adventure begins in Brand New World!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-3: New Galaxia_**

Cheren Uno was driving the R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R. through the surreal dimension, and with him were Panini, Maddy, and Zach. Cheren had a habit of driving through the Water Gates, causing giant droplets to fly and rotate alongside them before they crashed onto asteroids and became butterflies. "This universe looks like it was drawn by a drug-addict." Maddy commented.

"Are you kidding, it looks amazing!" Cheren beamed. "I can't wait until we get to meet some people. What do you think, Panini?"

"Hm?" Panini had been staring out the window before her name had been said. "Oh… it looks ah right."

"What's got you so down?"

"Well, it's just… why haven't we met the trolls, yet? They were the ones leading us here, they shoulda been the first people we met."

"Maybe they didn't want the Darknesses to catch them. I'm sure we'll meet up with one of them soon." _Like Vriska._

In Zach's personal world, the boy was wearing a blue dress and blue hat, and his backseat was that of a carriage. Next to him, Maddy was in a yellow dress and seemed to be pregnant. A green prairie scrolled by outside the window. "The marmalade's going to look lovely this year, Madeline."

"Oh, I know, Zerina! Moi baby's just jumping for jelly! Oi can feel 'im kicking!"

"Aww, let me feel, dearest!" Zach moved his ear beside Maddy's belly.

"GIMME SOME MARMALADE! !" General Shy Guy burst out of the belly and kicked Zach off the ship.

"Maddy, since when do you go along with Zach's shtick?" Cheren asked.

"Since I wanted him to stop turning my room into Chickens Inc.."

"Cheren, he's still falling." Panini mentioned. "I know he's Zach, but… ya think we should catch him?"

"Okay. As long as he doesn't turn my car into a wagon again." Cheren drove downward and sped up to catch up with Zach.

"He's about to fall into that big blue planet!" Maddy pointed. Beyond Zach was a planet as blue as the sky, complimented by huge white clouds.

"Zach, can't you do something to slow down?!"

 _"Zach Murphy sets a world record for being the first guy in a jacket to dive a grand-spanking seventy-million feet in blank, weightless sky!"_ an unseen announcer called.

"I realize now… what my true life's purpose is!" Zach spoke with tears in his eyes. "To prove to all the children that… THE SKY IS A BALLOON THIEF!"

"WE ALREADY KNOW THAT! !" Maddy screamed.

 _"Give back my b'oooooons…!"_ And Zach was lost within the planet's sky.

 _"Master Cheren, I am detecting traces of magical energy akin to Truman Kirman, or 'Zorc' as he is now known."_ Fi spoke from Cheren's sword. _"There is a 75% chance some of his cards have landed on this world. Conveniently, they seem to be located in close vicinity."_

"Sounds like an adventure to me. Girls, prepare for landing!"

When the R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R. entered the planet's atmosphere, there was no solid ground to land on except for millions of floating clouds or platforms. Otherwise, the planet was basically a region of space that was sky-blue. The kids landed on a round platform with grass, stepping out to breathe the planet's atmosphere. "A big ball of sky in space. Shame we didn't bring Fybi." Panini said.

"What's this place called, you think?" Maddy asked.

"Skaia." answered Cheren.

"How do you know?"

"Vriska mentioned it once."

"Oh. Lucky you." Pan remarked.

"But I have no idea what it's like. Boys first!" Cheren ran forth. Maddy and Pan exchanged glances before chasing. (Play "Sky Station Galaxy 1" from _Mario Galaxy 2_!)

 _Stage F-1: Skaia_

 _Mission: Collect cards and find Zach!_

Cheren used the Double Hookshots to grapple his way across floating, slow-spinning targets, which ended above a higher foothold. From here, Cheren leapt off and opened his Pirate Sail to glide to a very distant platform. Panini was charging fire in her feet, and with Maddy riding her shoulders, the rabbit-haired made a great hop off their standpoint and across the sky chasm, passing Cheren midair on their way to his destination. "Can't ya fly, boy?!" Pan yelled.

The girls waited a moment before he decided to land. "At least I still value old traditions."

 _"VEEEEEEN!"_ A Mega Venusaur erupted out of the ground, slashing bramble vines that the three nimbly jumped.

"So, Pokémon live here, too?" Maddy wondered.

"I think this one works for the Darknesses. Don't hold anything back when fighting these monsters!" Cheren shot Fire Arrows at the monster's bud, the Venusaur roaring with anger as it blasted Solar Beam, which Cheren deflected to the sky with the Mirror Shield. A bramble vine came for Panini, who conjured purple fire to grab and hold it in place, then did the same with another vine. Maddy then leapt onto the Venusaur's head and began choking it with Haki arms until it fell down. Panini lit her foot with yellow flames and kicked it in the nose—the Venusaur winced at the stench. Afterwards, Cheren knocked it out with a Shield Bash.

"Where did you learn to change the color of your fire?" Maddy asked.

"Wendy introduced me to a boy called Romeo. He uses magic to change the effects of his firebending and I used the Sun Chi Lantern to borrow his chi."

"Here comes another one!" Cheren cautioned when a Mega Dragonite swooped down, its scales shinier and its teeth sharper. Cheren blocked its bladed Dragon Tail with his God Tier-imbued sword, keeping the dragon in place so Maddy could jump up and punch his head into the ground. She followed with a string of punches, dodging before the Dragonite coughed sapphire flames, which Panini grabbed and willed to dissolve into smoke. The dragon could get nothing else out before Maddy flipped and kicked its head, KOing it.

It was then Maddy's Observation Haki kicked in. "Up there!" She pointed to a small staircase across the platform. "I feel somebody's presence!"

Cheren curiously hopped up the stairs and found one of Zorc's cards on the ground. He picked it up and saw a brown-haired Japanese girl in a yellow shirt with a green stripe was trapped inside. The name on the card read, _Chihiro_. "Wh-Where am I?!" Chihiro asked with fear in her voice. "I'm still trapped in the card! Are you going to hurt me?!"

"Calm down, we're here to help you." Cheren replied as the other two came up to see.

"Sapphire said if we break the cards, they'll be freed." Maddy reminded.

"I know… but I think we should hold off until we have clarification. Besides, they'll be easier to carry like this."

"Hey, what're you- _mmmp!"_ Chihiro was placed into Cheren's pocket.

"Better hope ruffling the cards has no nasty side effects." Pan mentioned.

Their next route took place up scattered floating black or white, rotating cubes. Panini made use of her terrific jumping to kick up to and kick off from block to block, while Cheren had to resort to flying and carrying Maddy. From the last block, Panini used purple fire to swing a line of Fluffy Beetles (Buzzy Beetles made of cloud), and this would bring her to a large floating piece of land designed like a chessboard with hills.

Giant chess horses with unicorn horns appeared out of darkness, baring the Heartless symbol, so their allegiance was clear. The Chess Knights jumped toward the kids and made shockwaves, and when one came down on Maddy, she threw her Haki fists up to protect herself. She then back-flipped out, leapt up to grab the Knight's head, and slam it against the ground repeatedly until it was destroyed. Panini wrapped purple fire around two Chess Knights' heads, then proceeded to tie the two ropes together, causing the Knights to fall when they tried to bounce.

After Cheren slayed the remaining Heartless with God Tier, a Mega Rapidash appeared; it had a longer, sharper horn and giant bat wings. The Rapidash glided around the chess field and covered it with flames. Cheren worked on dispersing the flames with Ice Arrows while Maddy targeted the Pokémon with Conqueror's Haki. The Rapidash fell to the ground, but it was strong enough to keep standing. Cheren shocked it with a Light Arrow and Maddy punched it unconscious.

Cheren flew around the chess field in search of cards, and he discovered two Shy Guys tugging on one. "It's mine!"

"No, it's mine!"

"Master Zorc will praise me!"

"He'll praise you like last week's turkey!"

"Shy Guys?" Cheren cocked a brow. "Are they… working for the Darknesses, too?" He flew down and asked them, "Hey, can I see that card you're looking at?"

"It's Cheren! C'mon, Johnson, let's get him!"

Cheren flicked a gold flame at either of them and KO'ed them. The card blew over for him to catch. The person inside was a box-headed boy with a red shirt named Mac. "Thanks for saving me." he said as he unruffled his hair and shirt. "I'll never be able to collect trading cards the same way again."

"I feel ya there. Stay in here for a bit." He placed Mac in his pocket.

 _"Hi there! What's your name?"_

 _"Chihiro…"_

The trio found a strip of the chessboard sloping down and chose to follow it. It led them to a region of black and white blocks that were blinking on and off at second-long intervals. "Are you girls fast enough?" Cheren smirked, jumping the blinking blocks with little trouble. Maddy and Pan followed him, but the latter was briefly confused by the timing, so she slipped and fell. "GOT YA!" Cheren flew down and grabbed her. "Don't die now, Panini, we only just got here!"

"For your information, your fire was in my face!"

"Sure it was, Panini. You feel up for getting that card?" He pointed to a card floating above a distant blinking block.

"Of course Ay can! Put me down and I'll show you!" Cheren set her down on a stable platform. Panini estimated how much time it would take to reach that platform, and determined when she could land when it was still visible, then leap back. Panini made the jump successfully, grabbed the card, and made it back. The person on the card was a tall yellow rabbit.

"Whuh? Where in blazes am I? And what kind of mutant rabbit are you?"

"A way better rabbit than ya!" Panini shoved the ungrateful animal into her pocket.

The kids jumped up a stairway of blinking blocks before it brought them to a sea of floating springs. The only way to get across, of course, was to keep bouncing. A squad of Mega Pidgeots flew overhead with Elite Heartless Soldiers riding and blasting machineguns. Cheren flew up and used Soul Surge to deal quick, precise hits against the Pokémon, then burned the Heartless in flames of light. When the Pidgeots fell, the springs constantly bounced their unconscious bodies up and down. "Isn't that a fun way to sleep." Maddy remarked. "Hey, there's another card!"

A Pogo Guy was using a pogo stick to bounce on some springs. It saw Maddy coming and took measures to avoid her. "I wanna Conqueror's Haki you… but where's the fun in that?" Maddy sensed the route he would take and followed a path of springs that would catch up. She grabbed the pogo stick out from under the Shy Guy, watched him fall on a spring, then swiped his card. The card contained a yellow two-tailed fox named Tails.

"That guy was more spring-happy than Sonic. Say, come to think of it, who are you, Miss?"

"A girl who's gonna get tired of hearing that." With that, Tails was stuffed in her pocket.

The trio bounced their way to a linear path of springs, but a Sky Muncher (a winged monster composed of block parts and giant teeth) chased them and ate the springs. They kept a good distance away from it, but when the springs led up like a tower, the Muncher flew straight up and continued to eat springs. "Ugh! You know what, you're a pain." With that, Maddy used Conqueror's Haki to make the monster faint. Their journey up the springs concluded peacefully as they reached a platform.

From here, they could see a rotating round platform with a circle of Anti Guys. "What are they… doing?" asked Cheren. (End song.)

The Anti Guys were playing a happy accordion song and dancing around a small gold statue of Bill's true form, sat on a pedestal with dynamites. There was another card leaning on the statue. One of the Shy Guys held up a lighter, then tossed it to another, then another Shy Guy. "Some kind of weird ritual." Panini observed.

"Do you really think destroying the card frees the prisoner?" Maddy wondered.

"Even I'm starting to question it." Cheren said. "Panini, can you grab that card with your purple fire? Me and Maddy will fight the Shy Guys when they gang up on us."

"Aye!" Panini lashed her purple fire rope and caught the card. The enraged Anti Guys scrambled to hop up and attack, but Cheren rapidly swung his blade while Maddy entered Haki Fury to throw rapid punches. The Shy Guys were thrown off the platform in 10 seconds.

"Never wanna fight on a small space again." Maddy stated.

"Could somebody tell me what the frick is going on?!" yelled the person in the card, a green-haired boy named Russel Thrush. "First this little brat walks up and turns me into a trading card, then these gay sock things do a weird song and dance. You kids better not sell me at a shop."

"You're welcome." Cheren put him away. "We still need to find Zach…"

"Um… Found him." Maddy pointed.

The ritual area had transformed into a dark room with a rectangular table. Zach was having a meeting with Shy Guys in fedora hats, passing the lighter around to ignite cigars… which were actually the dynamite fuses. "Boys, we got a situation on our hand." General Guy said. "The chipmunks still haven't paid us back for the genetic splicing. We need the money to buy tickets for the ukulele concert. Gentlemen… it's time to resort to brash, unnecessarily violent action."

"I don't think so." Zach stated. His faced opened, exposing a chipmunk.

"OH! Lord Munk! !"

"I'm afraid I got the jump on you this time, boys." Lord Munk spoke squeakily. "I hate to cut this meeting short, but I've got another bad movie to make. C-ya."

With that, the dynamite fuses completely burned. The room was engulfed in flames, but Zach coolly walked away from the explosion in the background. "Bravo." Cheren and friends clapped semi-proudly. "Bravo."

"DANG IT, ZACH!" General Guy bounced in front of him, soot-covered. "Why you dang blowin' me up in there, too?!"

"Don't lie to me, General. I KNOW you took my lollipop when I was three."

"How many times do I gotta tell you?! IT WAS A GUMDROP! !" The general threw a powerful punch against the air.

"-chaaaan…" An Invisibility Cloak fell off a Mega Hitmonchan wielding spike gloves. "Hitmon…chan." It was KO'ed by General's punch.

"Ooookay… that's a thing." Cheren shrugged.

"These Shy Guys ain't do a thing when I tell them to." General Guy said. "I reckon they're from other worlds. Musta been sent to grab the cards for the Darknesses' sake."

"Even after we just got here, it didn't take them long to spread their forces. Fi, what's the card situation?"

 _"I am sensing more magical cards across the clouds. Master, I can remotely summon the R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R. to your location from anywhere, should you ever wish to leave."_

"Are we really gonna just fly around this sky and look for CARDS for a jillion hours?!" Panini complained.

"Well, until we find the trolls or vice-versa, we don't have much to do. Besides, it's a pretty place."

"Fine, but let's use the R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R.." Maddy requested. "We'll cover more ground- er, sky that way."

Their adventure across Skaia continued in the comfort of Cheren's flying car. So far, they found two more cards, one holding a Toad from Mushroom Kingdom and another with a boy named Talo. _"Raaaaahhhh!"_ A Mega Charizard was rocketing down like a meteor from directly above. Cheren ejected Maddy out of her seat, and she entered Haki Fury to land a fearsome fist into the Charizard's mouth. The dragon was flung to a cloud, unconscious.

Maddy disabled her Fury and plopped back into the car. "Why are there so many Mega Pokémon here?" Panini wondered. "Ya know they can't even stay Mega without a trainer. And Ay'm a Pokénerd, so I should know."

"The Darknesses must've done something." Cheren figured. "Maybe it's why Team Rocket's on their side."

They flew in silence for a few minutes. The sky was calm and vibrant in this region. "Hm hm… You know, flying out here like this, seeing these weird planets… I feel like Dad in his old adventures."

"That's only fitting, I imagine." Panini shrugged. "This is probably our last mission. We're finishin' the way your father started."

"Yeah… Hey, when we defeat English and restore all the worlds… this universe might be able to exist along with ours, and we could visit each other."

"You really think so?" Maddy replied.

"It's a thought. But if it does, I think it should have a better name than 'First Dimension.' I think we should call it… New Galaxia!"

"Hee hee hee hee!" Panini giggled.

"What? I'm saying this is like a second Galaxia. It's like… New Jersey. …In a couple ways."

"Ah know, Ah know. But, it's just… ya still sound like a boy in a make-believe world. But not in a bad way, it's… well, it's cute."

"Hmph. Then, it's settled." Cheren smiled proudly. "When we create the New World, this place will be called New Galaxia!"

"Okay, seriously, what the f**k are you kids talking about?" Russel asked from Cheren's pocket.

"Uh, we're just discussing how we're gonna make the universe."

"…Ok, that's cool. I make a universe every other month or so."

"You know, I kinda just thought of something." Maddy spoke. "Do you think that Aizen messed with Sapphire's powers? Like he did… to me back then?"

"So, maybe breaking the cards won't work…" Cheren deduced. "I'm going to call the others." He activated the intercoms. "Operatives, this is Numbuh 3621. We found a few cards, but no sign of the trolls or Firstborn on our end. I don't know if you have, yet, but if you locate any cards, I advise against not destroying them right away. We need clarification if that can really free them."

 _"This is Sector IC, understood."_ George's voice spoke.

 _"Gotcha, Cuz."_ Anthony responded.

"Also, I've been thinking of calling this place New Galaxia. Whaddya think?"

 _"Real creative, Cherry."_ Chris remarked.

 _"Hmm… I can get into that! New Galaxia…"_ Nagisa's voice sounded with wonder. _"It's like we're living history…"_

 _"I'm down with it!"_ Bon Clay Jr. cheered.

 _"Can we maybe talk about it AFTER saving our friends?"_ Karin questioned.

 **With Sector W7, somewhere else**

"Oi, pipe down, Cherry-chan!" Chimney shouted. "We're in the middle of something!"

Mocha was standing on the roof of the R.O.C.K.E.T.-T.R.A.I.N., her feet strapped to keep her from flying off. Heartless ships were surrounding them and shooting laser bullets, but Mocha swung her Haki arms to swat the mini projectiles away. The giant spread her arms apart and clapped them with enough force to destroy the ships with shockwaves.

Pods crashed onto the train as Heartless emerged. Aisa flew overhead and bombarded the monsters with arrows. "You freaks think you can beat a Shandoran AND an Amazon warrior?!"

Another pod crashed on the train as Mocha readied herself. …She gasped when the one to emerge was not a Heartless, but Xehanort. "It's…It's one of them."

Xehanort sported an evil grin at the giantess, pleased by her frightened expression. Despite the huge difference in size, Mocha clearly believed Xehanort's powers were superior. "Mocha!" Aisa landed on the train and blasted light arrows from her Bow Dial, but Xehanort swiftly deflected the arrows with quick Keyblade swings. "HYAH! !" Aisa leapt and KICKED forth, her feet sharp as arrows, and fast enough to push Xehanort against the pod.

"Impressive footwork… but still no match!" Xehanort cast a dark beam and knocked Aisa on her back. Dark flames brimmed on her body and prevented her from standing, and when Xehanort leapt to finish her, Mocha CLAPPED the man in her hands.

"AAH!" Xehanort sliced the hands and escaped, narrowing his gaze to Mocha's strapped ankles. Her heart almost stopped as memories of CP10 flashed through her, and Xehanort seemed intent on severing her legs.

"Heh heh!" Xehanort shot a beam from the Keyblade and made the metal straps disappear. "I doubt you're very coordinated." Xehanort leapt to slash her feet—Mocha stepped back and stumbled on the train, taking the fall.

"MOCHAAA!" Aisa flew down after her.

"Now for the Light…" Xehanort cut open a roof hatch and entered the train, summoning Heartless to his side. Nothing obstructed him on the way to the back of the train, where he discovered a small studio run by April Goldenweek.

"You know, it's hard to make a good drawing if you keep shaking the train."

"Your voyage ends here, girl." Xehanort approached calmly.

"Nope." April whipped out her own Keyblade, cast a beam at a painting of a prairie, and jumped inside.

"You think that will save you from-" He attempted to climb in the canvas, but a solid 2-D barrier blocked him. "So, she can use her Keyblade to make portals out of paintings. But can she get out in one piece?!" The Darkness sliced all the paintings in half.

"APRIL! !" cried a tiny voice. Xehanort turned, seeing a curious tiny girl riding a blue rabbit past the doorway. "She worked really hard on those paintings! You have NO respect for a girl's art!" ("Gyom!")

"Hm hm ha ha ha hah!" He laughed at such an adorable sight. "Your friend made a foolish mistake in trying to outrun me. Now, I have to wonder… what an adorable Heartless you will make." His Heartless focused their attention on Aeincha.

"Oh, yeah?! Well, I've got news for you, Baldy!" Aeincha grabbed a pair of scissors from her back like a sword. "I am one heck of a barber!" She snapped the scissors.

Suddenly, the train car detached, and Aeincha waved as Xehanort drew farther away. "We sure outsmarted him, huh Gonbe?" ("Gyom-gyom!" the rabbit cheered.)

But when they turned around, Xehanort appeared out of a dark portal, standing over them imposingly. "Afraid not."

"YIKES!" Gonbe began hopping about when Xehanort stabbed his Keyblade around the floor. Eventually, Xehanort decided to freeze the floor, Gonbe slipping on his back while Aeincha slid away.

"GOOOM-!" Gonbe was stabbed by the Keyblade.

"GONBE!" Aeincha cried when Gonbe's heart came out. His body vanished, and the heart became a rabbit Heartless with a mouth made of spikes. The Heartless turned to Aeincha with ravenous eyes.

Mocha was still falling through space and saw Aisa chasing her. "Mocha, open wide!" She put a blue Skypian Apple in her bow and launched it to the giant's open mouth. Mocha shrunk down to mouse size, then Aisa used a Vacuum Dial to bring her back. "Aeincha's in trouble! Get up there and save her!" Aisa gave her a red apple as large as Mocha was now. She put them both in her bow, pulled back, and the second Mocha took a bite was when she launched.

"GRAH!" Xehanort grunted when the train car shook. It was tilted back as Mocha's giant purple-brown eye peered into the doorway.

Aeincha let herself fall and land on Mocha's eye, but was still too small to make her blink. Aisa flew by to grab her friend. Mocha ripped the car off the train and began squeezing both ends. "Wait, Gonbe's still in there!" Aein yelled. "He's been turned into a monster!"

"I can't let this guy escape!"

However, Xehanort simply jumped out a window. "Then you'll have to try harder than that!" He summoned a horde of Keyblades and channeled them into Mocha's eyes.

 _"Sector W7, is everything all right over there?"_ Cheren asked via intercom.

"We're bein' attacked by one of the Darknesses!" Chimney yelled back.

 _"What?! Which one?!"_

"I don't freaking know their names—it's the bald one! Maybe his name's Baldy!"

 _"Is April safe?"_

"Yah, April escaped. We're trying to stall him."

 _"Do I need to send another sector to back you up?"_

"No, we can handle it! Honest!"

 _"Are you sure? Even with Mocha, these guys are too strong to take lightly."_

"If we stay split up, the other Darknesses will be split up, too, right? Just stay calm and let us handle it!"

 _"But Chimney-"_

"Look, it'll be way easier to beat these guys if we had the Firstborn, so maybe those guys should focus on finding them, ya?! Just let us distract this loser, you got more important things to do! !"

 _"Chimney… ugh… fine."_

Chimney viewed the camera terminal and saw Mocha hurl Xehanort several meters away. She smirked, targeting the Darkness and launching a swarm of fireworks. Xehanort saw the small projectiles coming and tried to deflect one back—it exploded into a dark-pink goop that solidified over his weapon. He summoned more Keyblades to block the others, but they were swallowed in more colored versions of the goop, and one was lucky enough to bind his other hand to his leg.

While this was transpiring, Mocha swung a powerful Haki punch into Aisa, who used an Impact Dial to absorb the force inside, keeping steady despite its strength. Afterwards, Mocha grabbed Aisa and threw her in Xehanort's direction, headfirst so that she could aim her Dial at him. "This is for you!" Aisa planted the Dial against his chest and pressed it. The blast forced blood out of his mouth and sent him whooshing across the stars.

 **Sector L's C.O.O.L.-B.U.S.**

"Poor Chimney." Melody said to herself. "Sigh… Well, if she insists."

"But we can't ignore our friends if they're in trouble!" Wendy stated. "Melody, we have to help them!"

"Wendy, it's too risky." Carla replied. "I'm certain Sector W7 was being targeted because they had one of the Seven Lights. Seeing as Jessie is with us, it would do us no good to put two Lights in danger."

Wendy glanced at the Indian boy farther back in the bus. "Sigh… This is all so much. They're our friends. I hate how we have to split up like this."

"Oh, that's right… your sector didn't come, did they?" Sugar realized.

"No. They must be so worried about me. They're counting on me to help save the universe, but if I can't even help my fellow operatives, how can I-"

"Hey, if you're gonna cry, step outside. I just polished." Melody stated.

"I agree." Jessie replied. "I'm younger than you are and I'm way less bitchy."

"We just have to do what Chimney said and locate the Firstborn." Carla followed. "That'll give us an advantage over the Darknesses. Be patient, Wendy."

"Yeah… you're right. But where do we begin to look for the Firstborn?"

"When I placed Meloetta in the Egg Chamber, we were on some kind of food world." Sugar mentioned.

"And Manaphy's was on a water fountain world." Melody said. "I guess if we find either one, we'll land there."

 **Skaia**

"Cheren, you don't have to worry about W7." Maddy said confidently. "Trust me, Mocha isn't gonna lose to some bald guy. She's an honorary Amazon."

"And I'm an honorary god, but even I'm worried about fighting these guys."

"Maybe the difference is Mocha being a girl." Panini smirked.

"Cheren, look!" Maddy yelped. Cheren stopped the ship when she indicated an orange hooded figure fly past underneath with butterfly wings. "I'm feeling a psychic aura from that person!"

"A psychic aura? Fi, take the wheel." Cheren went God Tier and hopped out, flying after the hooded one.

The figure flew farther and farther away, forcing Cheren to brighten his flames and move faster. "HEY! HOLD ON A SECOND!"

The person came to a halt and floated upright. She turned to Cheren, who gasped: she was a gray-skinned girl with glasses, a sun on her hoodie, orange horns, and seven pupils in her left eye. "…V…Vriska?"

She looked just like she had described herself, and her left eye was a dead giveaway. "…Who are you?" she asked.

Cheren blinked. "Uh… I'm Cheren. You chatted with me during the voyage."

"What voyage?"

"The… On the _Noah_. You mean you don't remember me?"

"Nope. …PSYCHE!" Vriska smacked him and flew higher.

"H-Hey!" Cheren smirked and flew after. Panini, Zach, and Maddy simply watched from below as they swerved around the sky like children playing Tag.

"Aww, did you want me to keep up the act?" Vriska asked. "Good old unnecessary long-distance-friendship-amnesia drama?"

"We don't need anymore complic8ions." Cheren shook his head.

"Uh, 8oy, did you just steal my type? ?" :::: ?

"I'm only _trolling_ you." Cheren made a troll-face.

 _"HA HA ha ha!"_

"O-kay… they talk like they've known each other forever." Maddy said. Panini stared at them suspiciously.

"I'm so glad I finally found you, Vriska. Does this mean the other trolls are nearby?"

"Not exactly, 8ut I'll take you to them now if you want. Our 8ase isn't far off."

"Well, sure, but… we're kind of looking for these cards. See, one of the Darknesses-"

"Oh, we already know a8out that. I found the rest of the cards on this planet." She drew out five cards of confused prisoners.

 _"Master Cheren, I can confirm the nonexistence of any forgotten cards in this area."_ Fi said.

"So, let's head on up!" Vriska turned and floated higher. "Race ya?"

"Yeah!" Cheren blasted up in the direction she was facing.

"Wrong way." Vriska blasted up in the opposite direction.

"YOU TRICKSTER!" Cheren shot after.

"Those milkshakes are MINE!" Zach roped a team of blue jays in pilot masks, racing with them.

"Well, look, Panini, he found a new rival!" Maddy joked. "Let me know if you need help tearing her skin off."

"…" Panini remained silent as Fi drove the ship to follow them.

 **Planet Emera**

Bill Cipher walked out of a giant portal opened by Thanos' Space Stone. The Mad Titan walked out alongside Yellow Diamond. "It's… Emera." The empress gasped. The landscape glittered with gem fields and gem mountains. Amethysts, Serpentines, Emeralds, all kinds of sentient Gems populated it…

A Ruby whose gem was in its left eye was the first to spot them. "You guys! Look! It's Yellow Diamond!"

"Yellow Diamond?!" a Serpentine exclaimed.

"QUEEN YELLOW D, YO' BACK!" an Amethyst cheered.

"My Diamond, we're so glaaaaad!" A Pink Pearl danced on her toes. "The Diamonds are all gone, but our lovely Yellow liiiives."

"My Diamond, may I have your autograph? ?" =3 A Peridot excitedly held up a holo-card.

"Awwww. Isn't it touching? A real family reunion." Bill said. "DON'T JUST ogle Yellow Diamond like a gallery exhibit, start building warships, forge weapons, GET TO WORK!"

"YES, YELLOW PEARL!" The Gems saluted and zipped off in different directions.

"Impressive loyalty." Thanos observed. "You must be a very feared ruler."

"And very powerful, too." Bill floated up to Diamond's face. "Powerful enough to steal the energy from her superior!"

"How do you know about that?!" Yellow gasped.

"Lord English saw it all happen. I know what he knows, and he knows what _I_ know. He also knows that only _you_ are capable of absorbing the other two as well."

"You want me to absorb the other Diamonds?!"

"Don't you understand, Topaz? The only reason your empire lost, why you were defeated, was because of its weak rulers. And its rulers were weak because they operated separately. But if you all come together, you'll become the ultimate being! The most powerful in this universe! You can obliterate all your enemies singlehandedly!"

"I see…" Yellow Diamond drew the card where Sapphire remained imprisoned. "But even if we have Blue Diamond… what about Pink Diamond? She was destroyed by Rose Quartz, who stole her power. I have no idea where she is now."

"Rose Quartz gave birth to a powerful creature named Diancie. You must have noticed the little rock creature beside that beaver child."

"Are you saying that creature… possesses Pink Diamond's power?"

"She does. But recovering it will be an easy feat. All we need is help from you, Thanos. Your Power Stone can drain the energy from Diancie's body and give it to Yellow Diamond!"

"If that is what you wish." Thanos made a light smirk. _An ultimate being… hm hm hm!_ He internally laughed at the thought of these Diamonds being stronger than him. "But what of that child in the card? Is she truly the Blue Diamond you speak of?"

"Blue Diamond was an extremely powerful psychic." Yellow Diamond answered. "This Sapphire was forged and grown by her own two hands, infused with her power. But Blue Diamond died by the Apocalypse, so the remainder of her essence transferred to the Sapphire. Then the trolls captured her and banished her to the New Universe with their machine. Along with a Ruby that failed to rescue her."

"Her memories were lost when she landed in the New World." Bill explained. "But Thanos' Mind Stone can restore them. When Sapphire remembers who she is, she will remember her power. All you have to do after that is convince her to fuse with you."

 _"You're wrong! All of you!"_ Sapphire shouted. _"I'm not Blue Diamond! And even if I was, I would NEVER work with you!"_

"I expected as much." Bill shrugged. "Thanos, after you awaken her true memories, you should probably wipe out the ones she had of her life on Earth. No KND, no Ruby, just her and her Diamond!"

"NOW you're making it interesting!" Thanos shot the card with the Soul Stone and freed Sapphire.

"NO, PLEASE-!" Sapphire was struck by a ray from the Mind Stone.

 _Yellow Diamond's playing her role beautifully!_ Bill's sharp teeth stretched like a spiked crescent. _The Diamonds are the highest authority in this universe! So, if Lord English controls them… our reign will truly be unstoppable!_

 **With Sector L**

"Melody, look! We're coming up on a blue planet!" Danny pointed.

The operatives came up front and observed a planet in which parts of its very surface were rising up and down like waves. "It's an ocean!" Melody knew.

"No ocean could have waves that huge!" Carla argued. "At least not so big we can see them from outer space."

 _Hum… hum hum…_

"!" Melody perked up. "Guys, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Wendy asked.

 _HUM… hum HUUUM…_

"It's Manaphy! Manaphy's on that planet! Danny, bring us in!"

"What makes you think he's there?"

"Uh- gee, I dunno—'cause it's a WATER planet? ? Sheesh, where's your better judgment?"

"Alright, no one has better judgment than you. We're going in!" The News Bus dove down to the planet's atmosphere. Little did they know that the _King Dutchman_ had been watching from far away.

"Revenge will be mine-ah… Princess Melody."

* * *

 **When _Mario Galaxy 2_ came out, I wrote a song to its main theme called "New Galaxia"… so making this level brought back memories. :)**


	4. Bloody Melody

**Get ready for a fight. ;P**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-4: Bloody Melody_**

 **Planet Hurricos**

The entire planet was covered by a dark sky and endless oceans. If there was ever a piece of dry land, it was long washed away by the mountain-size tidal waves. The KNN News Bus landed in an area with relatively calm waves. Melody threw off her sandals and dove into the sea, resurfacing. "It's pretty warm in here!"

"That doesn't prove that it's clean!" Carla stated.

"I really wish I could swim." Sugar sighed. "But because I ate a Devil Fruit, my body will sink like a hammer."

"I have an idea!" Wendy beamed, raising her wand. "Bobaq!" She cast a spell on Sugar. "Now you can float! It's not the same as swimming, but…"

Sugar stepped onto the surface like solid ground. She wiggled her toes in the liquid and smiled. "Hm hm hm! It's nice!"

"Melody, assuming Manaphy IS here, how can you possibly find him in this ocean?" Danny questioned.

"He's close, I can feel it. I bet I can find him if I swim under long enough."

"Let me give you an Air Bubble Charm." Wendy offered.

"That's okay. I'm the second Ocean Princess." Melody smirked. "I don't deserve the title if I can't hold my own breath. I want the rest of you to stay up here and guard the ship; and Jessie, too. The Darknesses will wanna come after the Seven Lights. If it gets too dicey, I want you to take the ship and escape."

"You mean leave you behind?" the wind mage asked worriedly.

"Hey, I'll manage. Especially if I have Manaphy with me. See you in a bit!" Melody took a breath and vanished beneath the sea.

"She may be an anchorwoman, but my sister's got guts." Danny smiled. "She'll be back with Manaphy in no time!"

 _"Will she now?"_

They all gasped and looked up: the _King Dutchman_ had entered the atmosphere, raining Bombshell Bills unto them. "How does that thing sneak up on us so well?!" Wendy cried.

"I guess the vacation is over!" Sugar jumped back onto the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. as Danny quickly started the engines and blasted off. Wendy cast Protego over the ship to block the golden missiles.

"MEN! Go below and kill the princess-ah!" Davy Jones commanded.

 _"AYE, CAPTAIN!"_ Hordes of zombie-Fishmen dove into the sea. The News Bus flew skyward, but Jones willed pillars of water to sprout up and hit them. Thanks to Wendy's shield, the aircraft did little more than bounce around.

"He's a bit strong, but it seems like the shield's holding." Carla observed.

"Yeah, but projecting a shield this big isn't easy." Wendy grunted.

One of the water pillars wrapped around the bubbled ship like a tentacle and held it tight. "I might need you to expand it a little!" Danny shouted.

"Okay!" Wendy gave a pulse and puffed the shield, and it quickly vanished as the ship escaped the water's grip. More pillars shot up, and another one was able to catch the ship.

"Your fates are sealed, children! I will drag you into the depths, and Melody will join you!" (Play "Funky Waters" from _Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze_!)

 _Stage F-2: Land of Waves and Darkness_

 _Mission: Find Manaphy._

There was an eerie silence underneath the sea, a realm of darkness stretched in her wake. Good thing Melody brought a water-proof flashlight headband to see in the dark, as well as her mother's Phantom Sword to fight unseen predators. She swam deeper and deeper, the light that was the surface growing dimmer. _Hum… hum huuum…_

But she knew Manaphy's voice, and she would keep swimming until she found him. Faint blue lights that took the form of jellyfish appeared in the depths, Melody avoiding them with ease. _"Tentacool…"_ Tentacools swum up to antagonize her, and while Melody was able to KO the creatures in one hit, she questioned their motives. Suddenly, two red bulbs lit up not far away, exposing the body of a Mega Tentacruel, electricity sparking between its many tentacles. Melody swam like a dolphin and evaded its shocking swipes, spitting Bubble Beams at its eyes to weaken its vision. When she had a chance to, Melody Torpedo Spun up to the red orbs and stabbed them with her sword.

 _"CRUUUUEEEEL…!"_ The beast fell. _Yeah, I guess it was pretty cruel._ Melody thought. Melody's Breath Bubble (kept over her mouth with her bending) grew weaker after the short battle, but she replenished it by swimming through a large bubble that rose up from the Pokémon. Melody swam through a cluster of bubbles, one of which containing a Capture Card. Melody lightly grabbed the bubble and read the card's name, Bubbles, who was a blonde kindergarten girl with bulbous blue eyes.

 _"What did you do to Octi?! Those bad people turned him into a monster and you killed him! It didn't have to end that way! Waaaahh!"_ Bubbles cried.

"Calm down, your card will get soggy." Melody's voice vibrated in her bubble. "Ugh… this is gonna be annoying." She used bending to compress the bubble and conceal it in her sarong. Melody swam toward a tunnel of large brambles, leading her deeper as Screwdivers attacked (green Heartless with tridents). Melody clashed with three of them before using a pulse of water to blow them apart. She swam to stab the left one, then kicked a Bubble Slice to the right one as it came back. She bended bubbles around the third one to make it dizzy, then sliced it with the Phantom Sword.

A strong current began to push up at Melody, but she could fight it with a constant Torpedo Spin. Melody spotted a Catch Card inside a hole between some brambles, so she maneuvered close to it and grabbed the bubbled card without touching the spikes. She continued fighting the current until she could swim into an alternate tunnel. She then looked at the card containing a guy with a big nose named Usopp. "P-Please let me out! I have Can't Be Trapped In A Card-itis!"

"I could, but we're 4,000 fathoms under the sea."

Usopp gulped. "Never mind. I also have Can't Breathe Underwater Syndrome."

"Everyone does, it's called drowning." Melody stuffed him under her sarong. "EEK!" Something poked her side. "I can feel his nose through the card?!" She turned him around. "Phew, that's better." Melody swam through a tunnel with a wall on her left and a chasm on her right, with a current pushing down that chasm. Melody swam along the cliff carefully—a seasnake emerged from a hole on her left, but she stopped herself before the beast could have dinner. She sliced the seasnake to scare it back into its cave.

The ledge led rightward, so the chasm was on either side, forcing Melody to swim carefully over a narrow, snaky path. A set of three platforms on the right led to another card. Melody had to swim higher above her position, so when she swam over the pit, she could land on the first platform before the current pushed her down. She repeated this with the next two platforms to reach the card. It contained a girl with a black ponytail named Melody. "Whoa, you look just like me!"

"Y…Yeah." Melody stared at Melody awkwardly. "What are the odds of that?" She stuffed Melody away. She had to repeat the process to get back onto the path, which led her back outside. Though she couldn't see the surface, green rays of light appeared for brief moments. She swam forward, not seeing any specific path. Before she knew it, gigantic koi fish made of water swam alongside her. Melody smiled in wonder, holding onto one of the fish to let it guide her.

Five Aquatank Heartless appeared and shot lightning, Melody hastily dodging while the koi dispersed into bubbles. She spat Bubble Beam at the first Aquatank, then swam to drill her sword into its belly, but another Aquatank grabbed her feet in its teeth and shook her furiously before releasing. Melody entered Water Fury and expanded a bubble barrier around herself, growing spikes out of it and swinging them around to stab the last four anglerfish Heartless. She quickly gathered some water to heal her bleeding heels.

Melody recollected her breath and formed another Breath Bubble to continue swimming. _Mom taught me how to hold my breath for a really long time… I spent a whole day underwater. I guess deep down I knew I was preparing for this. Manaphy… wherever you are… your big niece is coming to save you._

 _Hum… hum hum…_

 _Manaphy… "Huuuum… hum huuuum…"_

 _HUUUUM… hum HUUUUM…_

Melody repeated the notes to let Manaphy know she was here. Their soundwaves were stronger underwater, their voices drew them closer together. Melody followed some rays of light that appeared in a peculiar path. She trusted the light to guide her, and Manaphy's voice grew louder. Eventually, the lights stopped appearing, so Melody could only swim in the darkness. But after a moment, a light appeared to shine on a large blue egg on a platform. She could hear Manaphy's voice ringing from it. (End song.)

The platform looked just like the one in that Ocean Fountain where the Egg Chamber was originally found. Melody took off the earring that was the blue Spirit Ball, expanding its size and aiming it at the egg. The lock on the ball flashed red, the egg's lock flashing as well. It opened, releasing a cloud of bubbles. Melody looked into the egg. It was mostly darkness… but two blue antennas were sticking out.

"MANAAA!" The Prince of the Sea surfed out. He had peach skin like a human and blue hair, but his lower half was a blue merman tail. He looked to be seven years old.

"Manaphy! Is that really you?!"

Manaphy looked down and did a flip as he got beside his niece. "Melody… Is it you?"

"Yes, Manaphy, it is me!" She hugged him lovingly. "Oh my gosh, you've grown so much! Do you know ABCs, are you eating well?!"

"Uh… I dana." Manaphy blushed. "I've been stuck in a egg. It's so boring."

"Aww, I'm so sorry we had to do that, Baby Uncle!" She swung him in her arms. "But you're back, now, that's all that matters!"

"There they are, lads!" The two whipped around: zombie-Fishmen surrounded the merkids. "The prince and princess in the flesh!"

"Manaphy ain't look like that before!" Koleniko stated.

"We've been out for 20 years, why wouldn't 'e pick up some new tricks?" Morey said. "Let's jest skewer them and bring them back to the captain!"

"Is Davy Jones here?!" Melody shouted.

"He be here all right!" Maccus smirked. "And 'e's making short work of your friends! Don't be surprised if he's eatin' their souls right now! But no worries. They're just the appetizers!"

"Grrrr!" Melody drew her sword.

"MANAAA!" Manaphy's antennas flashed red. A cyclone appeared in the center of the pirates, slurping all of them up and lifting them to the surface.

 _"RAAAAAAAHHHH…!"_ The cyclone stretched beyond the surface and beyond the atmosphere, taking the pirates up into space.

"…Hm hm! I forgot how powerful you were, Manaphy!"

"You don't know the half of it!" Mana winked.

"Hee hee hee! …" Melody gasped. "We have to get back to the surface! My friends might be in danger!"

"Leave it to me! MmmmmMANAAAA!" Manaphy rocketed them both to the surface.

 **Above the surface**

Sugar and Wendy stood on the roof of the News Bus, using Song Beams and Blast Spells to destroy water tentacles. "AAAH!" One managed to breach the bottom of the ship, and it snatched Jessie before pulling him out.

"Finally! I'll choke the life out of the Light and drown the princess afterwards-ah!" Jones cackled.

"I'll save you!" Wendy shot blast spells at the tentacle, but another snuck up behind and snatched her.

"Wendy!" Carla screamed. "Huh- AAAH!" The kitten was snatched, and Sugar was next to follow. Danny growled in anger and flew the ship over the _Dutchman_. He set the bus to autopilot and jumped to the deck, grabbing water from his bottles to slice off Jones' right arm and tentacles.

"BAH!" Jones threw water that Danny dodged, and the boy managed to slice the captain's head off with water. More tentacles appeared to stab down at Danny, and one managed to grab him. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Jones reattached his head to his body, and the tentacles climbed back up to their perch. "Your bravery is wasted, Kids Next Door! You did your best to hide from us for three years, but you cannot run from your fate!"

Jones marched up to Danny and grabbed his neck in his crab claw. "Tell me, Daniel Jackson… do ya fear death?"

"Do you?!" yelled a girl's voice. Davy Jones turned and found Melody Jackson, her Phantom Sword raised.

Jones grinned. "Hm hah hah hah hah ha ha ha! Princess Melody!" He released Danny and stepped toward her. "How nice of you to join us."

"Brings back memories, doesn't it, Squidface?"

"Aye… 'tis a near striking resemblance. Taking your soul will be all the more satisfying…"

"What's your deal anyway, Jones? Why sign over to English?"

"At first, I cared not for Medusa and her pathetic intentions. Most of the imbeciles I am forced to work with mean little to me. But when the door to the multiverse opened for me… I saw hundreds… _thousands_ of oceans. Vast oceans… _dark_ oceans… and such small pieces of land. And to me… they looked like tiny fragments of light in massive pools of darkness. And how I despised that light… and that happiness-ah. So, I drowned every piece of land in EVERY world I conquered-ah! My army of Dutchman Pirates grows every day. And after I have destroyed you and your friends, I will spend the rest of eternity drowning everything in pain, misery, and darkness."

"All because some girl stood you up. Geesh, you're pathetic, Davy."

"RAHG!" Jones flicked water and knocked her off the ship. The captain heard a splash and went to look, only to see Melody rise back up on a cyclone.

"Come on, Jones, just you and me. Just like it was meant to be! End Kyogre's bloodline once and for all!"

Jones smirked, reattaching his right arm and using it to seal the others in a water barrier. "Do not let them escape, lads!" Pirates rushed out and released Mega Pokémon to guard the prisoners.

"Melody! Don't take him on alone!" Danny pled.

"I'm not alone, Danny!" Melody fell back to the sea and Davy Jones jumped in. They used bending to stand perfectly on the water.

"So, you've brought the Sea Prince." Jones noticed the merchild beside Melody. "Bill cautioned me about it: Second Age. An upgrade to the already-powerful Firstborn. If his words hold meaning, then the Firstborn are _mortal_ in that state! Killing them would destroy them FOREVER!"

"I'll beat you before you have a chance!"

 _"Melody, even when I'm like this, I have to obey laws."_ Manaphy whispered. _"I can only give you a little power."_

"It's okay, Little Uncle. The boost you gave me is all I'll need."

"Princess Melody… Prince Manaphy… This planet will be your GRAVE-AH!" (Play the "Final Boss" theme from _Zelda: Phantom Hourglass_!)

 _Boss fight: Davy Jones_

Skiing on the waves, Melody and Jones launched at each other and clashed blades, with Jones slipping behind for a successful blow, forcing Melody to slide away and splash water spikes at him. Jones let the spikes puncture him as they did no pain, then he molded water into tentacles to stab at her. Melody whipped her blade to slice the water off, then dove below when Jones flew at her. The pirate waited for her to resurface, seeing a cyclone rising up and skiing back before it could strike. Melody was on top of the cyclone, making it as sharp as a buzzsaw as she chased Jones.

The captain skied away before diving beneath the sea. Melody expected him to swim up her cyclone, but gasped as a tidal wave the size of a mountain flew in her direction. Davy Jones rode the wave, and swarming inside of it were red-eyed zombie fish with sharp teeth. Melody conjured a spinning water barrier to protect herself. The wave nearly crushed her with the force of a mountain, she was lost in a cluster of bubbles and fish trying to bite their way to her. Her spinning shield withstood against it all, but soon Davy Jones drilled through with his blade.

Melody dodged her head away from the blade and spat a stream of bubbles at Jones, doing no harm, but she used the momentum to blast herself to the surface. Davy Jones reemerged and began spinning around, creating a whirlpool around himself and large water blades around the edge of it. Melody quickly swam left, suffering a scratch to the cheek, and she swung her arms to move faster as Jones pursued. Jones finally stopped the attack, giving Melody time to catch her breath, but the pirate quickly caught up and sprouted eight huge waves around them that looked like monster's teeth closing in.

Melody rocketed skyward with her own cyclone, high enough so the teeth missed, but her foothold collapsed, and as she fell, Jones shot his own tentacles up to wrap around her limbs. He brought her close, baring a devilish grin. "Can you really call yourself the Princess of the Sea, Melody? You were not born in the ocean… and most of your life was spent as a simple news woman. You do not share the embrace of the sea that I do."

"At least I have a better appreciation for it!" Melody thrusted her head up, signaling a gush of water to pop up and slice the tentacles. Melody landed on her feet – hardening the waves beneath – then she ran up to stab Jones in the chest with her sword. "You're just a heartless zombie who only sees emptiness."

"Hm hm hah hah… It is true, Melody." He grabbed the Phantom Sword in his crab claw and pulled it out. "I am a Heartless-ah!" Jones stuck the claw in his chest and pulled out a purple heart with a black cloud.

Melody gasped at the awful sight. "That's right!" Jones smirked. "Ganondorf, Zeref, and Xehanort combined their magic and cursed me with a Black Heart. It is a heart that is neither alive or dead… but it fuels me with darkness deep as the sea! You cannot destroy it-ah!" Jones stabbed the heart with his own sword, but it still beat. He shoved the heart back in his chest, sealing the gap. The pirate splashed rows of spike pillars, Melody swiftly dodging each one before she dove below. Jones stomped his peg-leg in the water, breaking it off as it became a homing torpedo. Melody bent the current to spin the torpedo and send it off course, then she resurfaced behind Jones.

"There is one way!" Melody dodged Jones' attacks and binded his arms in water, then began to spiral some floating streams around him. "I've become stronger, Jones. And with Manaphy's support, I'm in debt to finally heal your soul for good."

"Okay, Melody!" Manaphy waved his arms along with Melody. The liquid spiral glowed golden as peaceful energy encased Jones.

"Aaaaaahhh…" Jones sighed with a tone that would be peaceful. "Hahahahaha!" He grabbed the streams and smacked one at Melody, then swung a bunch at Manaphy hoping to slice him. Manaphy swam underwater, moving at rapid speed as Jones chased. The Sea Prince gasped when a swarm of dark-green souls flew up and grabbed hold of him, biting and attempting to suck his life out.

The souls brought Manaphy to the surface, where Jones flew up to finally skewer the prince. Melody skied in his path and clashed swords, and when the princess tried to leap and kick a water slice into his face, Jones was quick to retaliate and slice Melody's foot off. "OOOOOOWWW!"

"Melody!" Manaphy dealt a spin attack with his tailfin and cut the souls off, swimming up to push Jones away with a gush. The prince formed a huge cubicle barrier around himself and Melody, using Healing Touch to reattach the foot to her leg.

Davy Jones licked the blood off his sword. "As long as you feel pain, as long as you can bleed… you will not defeat me!" Jones summoned four watery columns, glowing green with spiritbending as more fallen souls appeared. He forced the columns against the liquid cube and pierced through. Melody was quick to slice the souls with the Phantom Sword, but she couldn't react in time before Jones launched his crab claw over like a rocket and grabbed Manaphy.

"UNCLE!" Melody cried, failing to grab him in time.

"Are you conceding to me?" Jones remarked.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

"Yes, the Sea Prince is biologically your uncle." Jones held Manaphy up and slightly choked him. "Yet, he still looks like a little brother to you. In the form he bears now, Manaphy has the power to make this entire planet collapse. Defeating me should be as simple as swatting a fly-ah. But you, Manaphy, are bound by law not to use your full power. You are afraid of the incredible chi you now possess! But if I possessed it, then nothing could stop me!"

"Let Manaphy go!" Melody leapt forth to slice her sword down Jones' body, but one half held Manaphy while the other continued clashing swords with her. Melody aimed her sword at the sky, hoping to charge a Moonward Strike, but it seemed no moons were available. Melody swiftly dodged Jones' attacks, aiming her sword in random directions in hopes for a moon.

"Run out of options, I see." observed Jones.

"Grrrrr!" Melody slashed water slices at Jones, still desperately aiming her sword every other way to find some random moon. "Huh?" Her sword suddenly glowed blue and filled with power. "HYAAAAH!" She ran for a mighty blow. Davy Jones charged dark spirit energy in his sword and exchanged the blow.

The captain's sword severed in two, but Melody's sword was flung away by the impact. "I don't know how you managed to pull that off." Jones said as he reattached his halves. "But it is time I stopped being so merciful!" He dropped the broken sword, and in his hand a Keyblade appeared; dark-green with tentacle teeth and a _Dutchman_ keychain.

"Oh, so you got a giant key, big deal." Melody taunted. "I have a sacred sword!" She used bending to try and pull the Phantom Sword back over, but Jones used a tentacle to splash it away, then grabbed Melody to toss her even farther. Davy Jones raised himself on a giant water platform that took the form of a Kraken, and eight more octopus-like tentacles emerged to defend him. One grabbed Melody and furiously swung her about, bashing her against the water.

"AAAAaaahhh…!" Melody's head was bleeding. The tentacle held her above Jones' mouth, so he could catch drops of blood.

"The Keyblade triples my power! You cannot hope to defeat me!"

 _"Quit picking on her, you bully!"_ a nasally voice demanded.

Jones frowned. He whipped in Manaphy's direction, but it wasn't him. He looked at the hostages on the _Dutchman_ , but it couldn't have been them. Jones looked down—he gasped: someone had recovered the sword and was pointing it at him. It would feel a tad more threatening… if the sword wasn't shaking in its wielder's hands.

Sweat trickled down Eric Horvitz's body like waterfalls. Thankfully, the extent of his embarrassment was masked by the ocean soaking his clothes. "Eric?!" Melody shouted. "Where did you come from?! Why are you here?!"

"Uh, I, told Nebula to re-expand me, and then Sunni kinda tracked where you were. As for 'why', I guess I was hoping to… do something heroic?"

A grin forced itself across Jones' face. He threw Melody away and slid down the Water Kraken, landing forcefully before Eric. The nerd bit his lip and quivered at the sight of him. "Ha ha ha ha… You are the one the princess _loves_. I always knew it was dreadful… but how odd that the princess's mates are… so unattractive."

He heard a splash and turned around, seeing Melody had jumped off the Kraken. "Have you looked in a mirror lately?" Melody weakly stood up on the water, holding her head.

"Heh! Just stop me from ending him!" Jones readied his Keyblade to strike Eric.

"AAAAHHH!" Melody molded Water Fists and charged, but the minute she threw the punch, Jones sliced the fist off and threw a slash across Melody's neck. (End song.)

". . . . . ." Blood spat out of her neck like a hose. The life faded from her shocked eyes, and her body splashed in the water. "M…Melody." Danny gasped.

"No…" Wendy clamped her mouth.

"YAAAAAAARRRRRR!" The Dutchman Pirates roared with victory. "Vengeance be the Captain's! Her soul be his now!"

"AHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Lightning flashed in the heavens as Jones stood over his victory. "I AM DAVY JONES-AH! I AM THE KING OF THE SEA! THE COMMANDER OF LOST SOULS! And on this day, I have truly CONQUERED-AH!"

The Phantom Sword stabbed Jones from behind. He passed a wry smirk to the boy who did it. He whipped around, knocking Eric off his feet. The captain raised the Keyblade above him. "And now… I will carve out both your hearts."

Suddenly, the Phantom Sword yanked itself out of his body. Jones turned and realized a glob of blood was holding the sword's hilt. That glob turned into a hand, which attached to a body. "Im…Impossible." Jones spoke in utter surprise.

Melody's body still lay dead on the surface, but a body made completely of blood stood firmly and glared sharply at Jones. Bloody Melody rushed up and slashed at Jones with lightning speed, the captain barely able to keep up with his Keyblade. He commanded the Water Kraken to attack her, but Melody swiftly jumped between its tentacles and sliced each one off. She then flew above the head and drilled all the way down the core, the Kraken exploding into rain.

"Thanks to me, Melody's conscience spilled out with her blood. Her soul is able to control it." Manaphy said. "But she has to hurry…"

Jones formed icicles from the water and hurled them at Melody like bullets, but her blood-made body gracefully avoided it, becoming a red blur as it zipped its way to Jones. The captain raised the Keyblade and SLICED Melody in two just when she impaled the Phantom Sword through his chest. "Uwaaaahhh!" The red liquid flowed into Jones' body via his mouth and his wound. He yanked the sword out and dropped it, but squirmed as the living blob of blood was crawling inside of him. "Agh! You will not have me! I… will swallow your… SOUL-AH!…"

Two wills fighting over the same body, Jones fought against the urge to aim the Keyblade at his chest. "You cannot… stab my heart… it is eternal… just like my darkness-ah! You cannot… destroy… PAIN!"

 _"No… but I can heal it."_

The key pierced the chest and stabbed through the heart. An unusual feeling began to course through Jones. Under Melody's control, Jones waved his arms, bringing up four columns that spiraled around him. The water glowed golden. _"Davy Jones… I can't destroy the darkness in your heart. So, I will set your heart free. Away from the burdens of this world. One day… maybe it will come back. Maybe it will… feel better."_

Davy Jones' body turned gold like the water. The Keyblade pulled itself out as his dark heart softly drifted into the sky. Jones watched it float, and with it he felt all his woes were ascending. His body decayed into light matter that went up to take the place of stars in the blank sky. The Keyblade dissolved along with him.

Eric noticed a card fly out from where Jones stood. He caught it and saw that it depicted a girl named Momo, a girl with short black hair and a pink top. "Oh… This must be one of the card prisoners Sunni mentioned. I guess Jones had it on him."

The Dutchman Pirates collapsed, and the bubble containing the operatives dispelled. The Mega Pokémon were still ripe to attack, but that was before Sheila Frantic dropped in and attacked with Light Kicks. "DANNY, we received your distress call!" Artie shouted from Sector V's C.O.O.L.-B.U.S.. "Is everyone okay?!"

"No, Melody and Eric are in danger!" Danny ran to jump off the flagship, followed by his team.

Eric and Manaphy watched as the blood flowed back into Melody's neck. She was breathing hoarsely as Manaphy worked to cover the wound. "Melody!" Danny swum over, while Sugar, Jessie, and Wendy ran on the water with the latter's spell. Sector V flew close by, with Chris and Aurora mortified by her condition.

"She was only able to pull this off thanks to heightened bloodbending." Manaphy explained. "I guess she took the time to master every form of waterbending. If her Blood Chi wasn't at a descent level, she would've collapsed already…"

"Yeah. Melody volunteered for work in hospitals and did blood transfusions." Danny confirmed. "She and Haruka made a heck of a team. Isn't that right?"

"We still don't understand what happened here!" Haruka yelled. "Where's Davy Jones, I thought you called about him?"

"Davy Jones is… gonna." Mana replied.

"He's gonna what?" Aurora asked.

"He means that Jones is gone." Eric confirmed. "Melody defeated him."

They all gasped. "So, one of the Thirteen Darknesses… is gone?" Haylee found it hard to be true.

". . . . Heh heh heh heh." Chris sported a laugh. "THAT'S MY COUSIN! ! Only an Uno could've done something so AWESOME!"

"Pipe down, Chris, you know she isn't related to us by blood!" Aurora stated.

"Doesn't make a difference!"

"You guys, can we please get Melody out of here?!" Wendy pled. "I'm sure I can help heal her."

"No problem, get her on the ship and let's go!" Haylee ordered. "SHEILA, TIME TO FLY!"

The Sunny Fist had just KO'ed a Mega Arbok, much to Jessie, James, and Meowth's terror. "I'll be back to finish the job, ya scumbags!" Sheila hissed before running to leap off the ship.

"That twerp actually took down Jones!" James whimpered.

"I think that's our cue to retreat!" Jessie followed.

The trio spun the helm of the _Dutchman_ and soared up into the stars. _"Looks like Team Rocket has a bit of cowardly tendencies leeeeft!" ("Wobbuffet!")_ Twinkle.

"What took you so long to get here, anyway?" Danny asked.

"We got held up." Chris answered. "Blackbeard showed up outta nowhere and started attacking us, we barely got away. Anyway, we're in luck. We just got a call from Cheren. He said that they found the trolls' base!"

"The trolls?" Sugar repeated. "Does that mean…"

"If we're lucky, we may finally be able to get some answers."

Wendy had positioned her hands over Melody's neck and channeling air to flow through. "Okay… her cut is fixed, and her breathing is just about restored. But she should probably stay off her feet for a while."

"Huff… huff… Eric…"

"Melody?" Eric stood by his friend.

"You…" Melody smacked him. "What the HELL did you think you were doing?! Huff… I told you I didn't care if you stayed home, you weren't cut out for this! ! …Huff…"

"But, Melody, I-I couldn't help it! I was too worried, if something happened to you, I would've… well…"

"Huff… just… save it… huff…" She cracked a smile and lied back down. "I sure hope… that you got it on camera…"

"Hee hee!" Eric tapped the side of his glasses, indicating the little camera. Melody nodded proudly.

"If defeating Jones was that easy, why couldn't you have cut your neck from the start?" Carla wondered.

"I remembered that all the Darknesses have Keyblades… huff… and if his Black Heart couldn't die, then maybe… huff… I coulda used it against him. I had to wait for him to summon it, though… and that took a while… huff…"

"You did great, Melody." Manaphy smiled.

"Huff… it was all thanks to you… Uncle Manaphy."

 **Unknown base**

The Prophetic Wheel was displayed on a banner, the symbols of the Seven Lights and Thirteen Darknesses glowing. …The symbol of Davy Jones' ship disappeared. "What?!" Bill yelped. "Davy Jones was defeated already?!"

"Oh, what a shame." Dimentio sighed. "But did you expect no less from him? His heart was always the weakest."

"Hm hm hm. Indeed it was. I'm not too bothered by it. But the rest of you will have to step up your game. I worked too hard tricking Medusa into gathering all you up. As long as we follow Lord English's orders accordingly, victory will be assured. Speaking of which…" Bill grinned psychotically. "I have a show to get to!"

* * *

 **A bit better than _DUTCHMAN_ , wasn't it?**


	5. Paradox HQ

**Lots of talking in this episode.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-5: Paradox H.Q._**

 **Somewhere in space**

Sector V's C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. carried Sector L's damaged bus with a chain. They were flying in a zone where space was waving like a flag. "You sure the coordinates Cheren sent us were right?" Danny questioned. "Because 'zing-hey-za-doi' isn't a reliable code."

"Like I don't know that." Artie stated. "But this area matches the description. We just gotta find anything that looks like a base."

"Or a purple 8-bit house floating in space." Haruka said.

"This universe would have that kinda thing, wouldn't it."

"No, I'm saying it does." She pointed.

A few miles away floated a purple house made of large, two-dimensional squares, and a triangle for the roof with a chimney. "Um… HELLO?" Haylee spoke through the PA. "Is anybody home?"

 _"OH ***KING FINALLY, HOW LONG HAVE WE WAITED FOR YOU SLOW-ASS SLOWPOKES SLOWKING SHITTY F***-"_

 _"Guys, you made it! Just fly in through the hangar, we'll meet you."_

"It's Cheren!" exclaimed Aurora.

"Preparing to dock!" Haylee announced.

Two squares moved apart, exposing a small black square. Haylee assumed it was the hangar, so she positioned their buses to enter. They landed inside a black, three-dimensional box; the outside of which wouldn't be seen outside the depthless fortress. The kids disembarked, with Eric carrying Melody and Danny holding Manaphy. They entered a doorway to a gray computer room. "Hey, guys." Cheren greeted. "Welcome to Hivebent. Aka, Paradox H.Q.."

"IT IS NOT CALLED PARADOX H.Q.," Karkat shouted, "THAT'S A STUPID IDIOT NAME FOR STUPID IDIOTS THAT VRISKA TOLD YOU FOR SOME STUPID-"

"Karkitty, quit shouting!" 3: Nepeta the cat-troll smacked his head. "The Kitties Next Door are our guests!"

"a pleasure to finally meet you" Eridan said; he was a fish-troll with a purple cape and purple streak through his hair.

"Hey, what's wrong with Melody?" Cheren asked.

"She's injured." Danny answered. "Melody fought with Davy Jones and defeated him."

"She defeated Jones?!"

"Way to go! ! T)(at's )(ow we fi)(h-people roll!" Feferi Peixes, another fish-troll with a green and light-blue sarong cheered. "Told you guys I was rig)(t to make )(er Manap)(y's Guardian!" 38D

"Wait, what?!" Melody exclaimed. "Whaddyou mean YOU decided?"

"HELLOOOO?" Karkat rolled his eyes. "We created the Firstborn, remember? Why wouldn't we decide their Guardians?"

"K4RK4T W4S PR3TTY P1CKY W1TH TH3 CHO1C3S." Terezi hissed. She wore red glasses and was blind. "4HHH." She walked up to Melody and sniffed her. "YOUR BLOOD SM3LLS L1K3 C4NDY."

"BACK OFF, TEREZI." Karkat yanked her back.

"PL34S3, K4RK4T! JUST ON3 WH1FF!"

"Davy Jones said that if Manaphy dies in this new form, he'll be dead forever." Melody mentioned.

"Well, he will." Karkat confirmed. "In case this 2nd Age thing goes the wrong way, we need a backup plan. The main reason we came up with this power-up is because the Firstborn's upgraded powers will be beneficial in creating the New World. But I'm just going to warn you… even if we manage to defeat Lord English, your universe will be anything but peaceful."

"What do you mean?" Cheren asked.

"Don't you get tired of asking that? Anyway, it's not important now. Lord English comes first."

"Ugh! Fine, then start explaining. What do we do about him?"

"Don't we get to introduce ourselves first?" Vriska questioned.

"Yeah! I wanna get to know these guys!" Haruka cheered.

"'kay, but I'll make it quick. I'm the leader, Karkat Vantas, the blind chick is Terezi, Fishgirl is Feferi, Fishboy is Eridan, the butterfly is Vriska, and that one on the computer is Kanaya."

"What's Up?" Kanaya waved.

"" An angel girl hummed some notes and glided around Sugar.

"And she's Chelan. She doesn't talk."

"Hm hm hm! Hi, Chelan!" Sugar giggled.

"I think we should 8egin 8y telling a8out this place." Vriska began. "I know you humans think of it as the First Dimension, 8ut 8efore the craziness happened, we called it the Incipisphere. Cheren's name for this universe is cute, though." :::: )

"you could also think of it as Paradox Space" Eridan mentioned. "our fortress is a safe havven from The Thirteen as it can compress to a single dimension and go unseen. Of course, wwe are lucky that Arceus is keepin Lord English preoccupied"

"Lord English looks at the multiverse like his personal writing desk: he wants to erase everything and rewrite the multiverse in a manner that suits him." Karkat explained. "But thanks to ancient universal laws, people from certain worlds have limited power in other worlds, especially if they're a god like he is. That's why he can't do to other universes what he did to yours, and it's why he needs the Darknesses. Since the Darknesses are each imbued with his will, the universes that they conquer successfully become his to do with as he pleases. But in order to completely establish rule over a universe, the people of that universe have to surrender and submit to them. The Darknesses weren't allowed to kill very many people for that reason."

"it didn't stop them, of course" Eridan commented.

"Yeah." Karkat rolled his eyes. "Okay, any questions before I move on? Come on, I know you guys are scratching your heads."

The kids decided to scratch their heads for his satisfaction. "Um…" Wendy tried to form a question. "Y-You said people have limited power in other worlds… so-; so why are the Darknesses able to attack other worlds and Lord English can't?"

"that, my dear, is the result of the Keyblades" Eridan answered.

"Keyblades are only seen in Dimensional Fusions." Karkat explained. "It should be no surprise that Dimensional Fusions are pretty F**ED up in one form or another. You can expect a little multiverse mayhem to get involved. Keyblade-wielders are certain people of significant destiny that were meant to handle this chaos. If they travel to other worlds, they keep their abilities because they're expected to maintain the balance. So, it sucks to say that evil Keyblade-wielders exist, too. Keyblade-wielders can only be decided by recognized Keyblade Masters."

"Even T)(anos couldn't destroy one planet wit)(out the Keyblade kelping him!" Feferi grinned at the humorous thought. "Glub glub glub!"

"Then that's why English needed Xehanort." Cheren deduced. "It's because he's a Keyblade Master, right?"

"Yup. At least one of you has a brain."

"I asked the question…" Wendy moaned.

"So, it is basically thanks to the Darknesses that Lord English can do anything to the Original Worlds. So, now you might be wondering how English was able to reach the Darknesses in the Original Worlds to begin with."

". . . . ." There were moans of "Uhhhs" and lots of head-scratching.

"It is, in fact, a lot to explain. SO MUCH to explain that I KNOW your heads will explode just trying to understand all this. It irritates me as well, because I KNOW I will have to explain this AGAIN, because the only reason I know all this is because my FUTURE self emailed it all to me!"

"Your future self wrote you all this?!" Sugar yelled.

"Yep! He's the only reason we even know who all you dumbasses are, because THEY are the ones who've been talking to you with the Zoni this whole time!"

"S-So… we've been talking to later versions of you…" Cheren summarized. "Which means… you really don't remember me?" he said to Vriska.

"Not a tiny 8it." She shook her head. "8ut my future self copied and p8sed every convers8ion she had with you to me. Every sordid detail."

Cheren blushed. He had to scratch his head again. "Boy, this whole thing is really complex… and I bet it's about to get even MORE complex! RIGHT, Karkat?!"

"Look, maybe we can touch on it later." Mason stated. "What should be our priority now? Can we at least focus on one thing at a time?"

"The main priority for now is the Thirteen Darknesses." Karkat answered. "Some of the Darknesses, like Dimentio or Xehanort, are important to Lord English's plans, but ALL of them need to be defeated. In fact, another one is Voldemort. I'm sure most of you know Voldemort's story with the Horcruxes; especially that blue chick there." Wendy glanced away and blushed. "What Voldemort did was cast a Multi-Seal Barrier Charm on Lord English. It works in a similar manner to Horcruxes, except instead of dividing his soul, there are thirteen invisible seals that project a barrier around Lord English. The seals need to be destroyed, or else Lord English will remain completely invincible."

"The Thirteen Darknesses." Cheren knew.

"Noooot exactly." Karkat shook his head. "It isn't the Darknesses who bear the seals, but rather their Keyblades. A Keyblade is bound to the will of their master's heart. If the master dies or loses the will to fight, the Keyblade will vanish. Of course, if the master comes back to life somehow, the Keyblade can respawn."

"So we need to make the wielders lose their will to fight?" Aurora asked.

"Either that or kill them and prevent their resurrections. It won't work to only destroy Voldemort or only Xehanort either, because they'll still have the Charm and the Keyblades."

"But couldn't Voldemort cast the charm on more people?" asked Cheren.

"He would need to cast the spell on all the seals at the same time. If he restarted the spell on the same person, he would have to reset all the seals. But you're right to be concerned. It would be best if we destroy Voldemort as soon as possible."

"Didn't Voldemort have the weakest Power Level when Azelf examined him?" Aurora remembered. "It shouldn't be that hard to beat him…"

"Ordinarily, it wouldn't be." Feferi said. "If )(e wasn't possessing t)(at wind mage."

Wendy gasped. "Do you mean my dad?!"

"Lord Vvaati wwas seized by The Thirteen and held hostage aboard their vvessel" Eridan said. "and after three years, Vvoldemort has taken his body as his own. A result of them both possessin a broken soul"

"That's terrible… Carla, we've gotta save him."

"Speaking of saving…" Maddy reached in her pocket and took out two of their Catch Cards. "How do we get these guys out of the cards?"

"D3STROY1NG TH3 C4RDS W1LL 1ND33D FR33 TH3M." Terezi grinned. "YOUR FR13ND W4S NOT WRONG."

"So, we can set these people free and let them stay here?" Melody asked, drawing her cards.

"Cleaned out t)(e guestrooms for t)(at very reason." Feferi said.

"In that case, we'll set them free." Cheren raised his cards and burned them in his hands. The others tore up their cards, resulting in puffs of smoke as the captives poofed into being.

Nepeta hopped on all fours. "This way, pwease! I'll give you a tour around our home." :33 The cat-troll headed to a corridor. The former captives followed and still had no words to describe these events and still unsure of what questions to ask.

"Yo, Mel, I'll take ya to my room." Feferi offered, putting Melody's arm around her neck. "I got waterbending too, ya know. I don't know )(ealing, but I know eeling!"

"What's eeling?"

"Nothin', I just got a lot of eels." 38)

Danny and Eric carried Manaphy and followed them. "There's something I want to ask, too." Jessie spoke. "Do you people know… where Calliope is?"

"Not at the moment." Karkat replied. "However… we do believe that Calliope still exists somewhere, despite her host body Jagar King having been killed. It's why we believe Lord English can't do anything to this universe, yet. And it's because of the bonds the Seven Lights share with their friends that he can't erase you, either."

"Ah'm way too great to be erased!" Sheila grinned proudly.

"We might as well have a rest before we go back out there." Maddy figured. "It actually makes me happier knowing one of The Thirteen is already down. Wait! Sector V, why isn't Dillon with you? I know Kirie got turned into a card, but…"

"Dillon, Carol, and Vanellope decided to go with his dad and Mr. Crystal." Aurora answered. "Nothing bonds a father and son together like saving the universe."

 **In a black region of space**

"Dad, why can't you just admit that we're lost?" Dillon asked in a bored tone, his elbow propped on the side of the glass. Carol sat on his right. The Sandmobile was gliding within a pitch-black region, no sign of life or light.

"Midna likes darkness, doesn't she? If you wanna find her, this is the place to look."

"Dad, for the millionth time, she's the TWILIGHT Princess! She likes sunsets, SHADE, not utter blackness!"

"Utter blackness is just a really big shade, I don't see the difference!"

"'Course you don't…"

 _"Lay off him, Dillon, he's just an old man."_ Vanellope said from Carol's computer.

"Vanellope, aren't you 50 years old?" Yuki asked, his feet propped up on the windshield deck.

 _"My heart is still young, so my body is young!"_

"Carol, didn't you say you programmed your computer to detect high frequencies of chi?" Dillon asked. "You can tell if Midna is close, right?"

Carol's computer screen was flashing neon colors and showed a cluster of waving lines. "Not with this reception. It'll take forever for my computer to adapt to this place."

"Hey, kids? Guess what I found?" Nolan pointed forward.

There was a little dot in the middle of the blackness. On the Sandmobile's zoomed-in sensor, the thing's shape was made clear: "Midna?"

"Score one for the old man."

"Well, hurry up, let's ask her what's up!" Carol shouted.

They sped up the aircraft, and Midna's form grew larger as they drew closer. "…Um…" Nolan was baffled by Midna's lack of movement. He slowed the ship when they were close, calmly driving past… Midna was a paper-thin 2-D fake. It scattered into dust in the wind.

"Score revoked." Dillon said.

"Something's not right." Yuki looked around. "I see, like… 12 different Midnas."

Three Midnas on their left, four on their right, and five just above them. "Yyyyeah…" Nolan used the ship's turret to blast all the fakes. "Please don't tell the real Midna I did that."

"Of course I won't." a deep voice said.

The group looked up: Sōsuke Aizen was floating above the Sandmobile, his glare as deathly sharp as ever. "According to Bill, this area is called Bore Space. It's a small area of space so blank that it utterly _bores_ those who enter. You may even find that time has completely slowed down. _Iiiiiii deeeeeciiiiideeeeeeeed tooooo . . . ."_ His voice grew deeper and slower.

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Sandman ejected himself from the Sandmobile, charging a Haki Punch as he rocketed toward Aizen. The Shinigami drew his sword and let Nolan's fist strike, slicing his arm perfectly down the middle.

"DAD/NOLAN/MR. YORK!" They all screamed as Nolan dropped back down in his seat, blood spilling.

"OW! ! DAMMIT! AGH…!"

"Dad was using Haki and his arm got split like a banana?!" Dillon exclaimed.

"This is Carol calling any available operatives!" Carol yelled in her computer. "We're being attacked, Mr. York is injured!"

"It's one of the Darknesses, I think his name's Aizen!" Dillon followed.

 _"This is Sector RZ, we've got your location! We'll get there ASAP!"_

 _"This is Sector JP, we're on our way!"_

"I only saw it fitting to add some entertainment to this place." Aizen said. "And nothing entertains like pain."

"You bastard, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you!" Dillon was about to fly up.

Yuki grabbed his leg and yelled, "If your dad can't touch him, you don't stand a chance against that freak!"

"Actually, I will gladly take him." Aizen trapped Dillon inside a black coffin, levitating it up to himself. "Hadō #33: Sōkatsui." He proceeded to burn the Sandmobile in spirit flames before flying away with Dillon.

Not far away, Sector RZ was flying toward a blank, black zone. "Carol's S.O.S. is coming from in there." Lulu mentioned.

"I think they forgot to turn on the lighthouse!" Denny yelled cowardly. However, after a few seconds, there was a red light. "Oh! Never mind."

"Hey, that isn't a lighthouse!" Diwata looked closer. "It's a… METEOR!" She whipped up a Lunar Shield around the S.C.A.M.P.E.R., but the shield and the meteor shattered upon contact. The ship spun wildly for a minute, and when it stopped, they saw Madara Uchiha riding a piece of the asteroid.

"Children like you… make Naruto appear formidable." Madara called Susanoo to attack the ship, but a Crescent Boomerang was all it took to disperse the flaming samurai.

"'Guess I'm more formidable than you THOUGHT!" Diwata taunted.

"You have made a grave mistake."

"Huh?!" Diwata realized the shabby camper was burning in black flames.

"Nothing can douse Amaterasu once it has begun burning." Madara claimed. "But surrender the Firstborn, and I may recall them."

"So, THAT'S what you're after. Well, newsflash, buddy: my Lunar Rain can douse ANY magic curse!" She conjured a blue sphere and tossed it up as it popped into rain. It was not affecting the black flames.

"My power is not magic, but chakra. It seems you have used up your trump card."

"No I haven't!" Diwata warped back inside the ship. "Guys, hold your breath!" She compressed her teammates into little bubbles, then leapt out. "S.S. Loony Luna, ACTIVATE!" She formed a massive ship out of lunar energy and leapt into the cockpit. "Initializing Crescent Cutters!" The ship swung crescent-shaped blades, but Madara grabbed his Gunbai and blocked the attack. His weapon absorbed the energy inside and released it against the cockpit. "AHH!"

Madara leapt up to the cockpit and flashed his Sharingan eyes at Diwata's. She felt as though her mind molded into milk, her pain and concerns going away. _"Diwata, what're you doing?!"_ Lee shouted. _"Your ship's disappearing!"_

 _"Now… if you please… the Firstborn…"_

 **Hivebent**

Feferi's room had an aquarium on the ceiling, but no glass was protecting it. The water and its alien fish stayed afloat, and Manaphy was happily swimming with them. Melody quite enjoyed the feel of the jellyfish waterbed. "This room's even cooler than mine!"

"I knew you'd like it!" Feferi grinned. ")(ey, w)(en I make t)(ose little ')(' things, they represent H's. I can stop it if it gets annoying, just say the word."

"Um… it's alright." Melody was confused as to how she could see those at all. "But why talk like that?"

"All the trolls have a way of talking. It's just our thing."

"Hee hee!" Melody faced up at the water again. "Feferi, was it really you who made me Manaphy's Guardian?"

"Glup." She nodded. "We designed a lot of people in your universe. Me and Eridan came up with merpeople and Fishmen. 'Course, the gods was the ones who put the fin-al touches. You and yo' mom were always my favorites!"

"How very sweet of you!" Mel grinned. "Even though I feel a little violated."

"Don't worry, I didn't write no news reports."

"Hehe! Well, speaking of which, maybe I'll have a new way of spying on people! Got any embarrassing recordings of Cheren?"

"Not until later."

At this time, the Catch Card prisoners were casually roaming the base. Cheren and Karkat walked down into a living room and saw Usopp standing on a couch and announcing to spectators. "In my home universe, I was the strongest man alive, and commander of over EIGHT MILLION MEN! We ruled the seas from North Blue to South Blue! So, the fact those Darknesses were able to get the best of me just signifies their elite power!"

"Eight million men?!" Sheila's eyes sparkled. "Strewth, we're looking at a real pirate legend! Ay 'ave to fight you in a duel!"

"I'm flattered, Kid, but you should know that I was Corrida Colosseum champion. A battle with a child wouldn't be fair in the-"

Sheila PUNCHED Usopp in the face and knocked him out with one hit. "It's official, Sheila can take out eight million men." Mason nodded.

Wendy was talking to Momo and Chihiro. "Davy Jones sunk my home island under the sea." Momo spoke in a low tone. "My mom and my friends drowned, but Jones took me onboard and ordered me to join his crew. I refused, so he had that blonde boy turn me into a card."

"My parents were stabbed by a bald man with a key, and they turned into pig monsters." Chihiro sobbed. "They told me to run! I ran as fast as I could, but that boy turned me into a card! I was stuck in his pocket for ages with a bunch of other people and- sniff! I don't know where my parents are and I'm worried!"

"It's going to be okay." Wendy placed a hand on her shoulder. "I promise we're going to set everything back to normal. We'll save both your friends and family."

"Hm hm." Cheren smiled. "She knows a thing or two about not having a family. …" He glanced at Karkat. "But none of these guys are probably used to losing a world. You and your friends lost your world millions of years ago, you're all used to it."

"Actually, it only happened a couple weeks ago."

Cheren felt a glass shatter in his brain. "Um… should I question that?"

"Don't bother. I told you if we tried to explain everything, your heads would explode."

"Fair enough. But don't The Thirteen's methods feel a little inconsistent? Killing people, turning them into monsters, trapping them in cards?"

"According to our future selves, the people inside the cards hold significant importance to the universe they're from. Either that, or they're FRIENDS with the important people. So, forcing those people to submit will further establish Lord English's control."

"If you guys can contact your future selves, you can get all the answers, can't you?"

"NOPE, because our jackass future selves are afraid of Lord English peeping on our conversations. They also said you guys 'might not like a few things that happen.'"

"That sounds… worrisome."

"Oh, it's nothing you need to worry a8out, Cherry Cake." (:::: Vriska hung her head upside-down in front of him. "8ut this isn't nicknamed Paradox H.Q. for no reason."

"LORD 3NGL1SH US3S T1M3 TR4V3L 4ND T1M3 P4R4DOX3S TO 4CH13V3 H1S GO4L." Terezi hissed, approaching them with a walking stick. "TO TRULY D3F34T H1M, W3 W1LL US3 P4R4DOX3S OF OUR OWN."

"A few things at a time, Terezi." Karkat told her. "She's our prophet. Terezi gets little glimpses of the future, but they're pretty good ones. Do you have anything for us, Terezi?"

"Y3S… COUGH, COUGH, COUGH!" She coughed into her fist and cleared her throat. With that, she took off her red glasses, exposing blank eyes that were no different in color. She then ripped off the tip of her walking stick, revealing a teal marker. Other operatives gathered and watched as she drew on the floor. Chris Uno was among them, and he looked… taller than usual. "Ahem… There is a group on the outside, working to thwart Lord English." She wrote the letters 'IDA'. "They developed something that can be used to defeat the Darknesses, but the ones who were asked to deliver it have crashed within the Land of Maps and Treasure." She drew an image of a treasure map with polygonal islands.

"That name sounds familiar…" Cheren said.

"There are others that this group were able to rescue. Together, they have been combatting The Thirteen's forces. And the Keeper of Keys must meet one of these heroes, in the Land of Locks and Secrets." She drew a picture of twin keys in a cross and an arrow pointing from them to a keyhole.

"That's Kimaya." Maddy remembered.

"I see more…" Terezi clasped her head. "And I smell something… like dirt. Yes, yes! The one with large feet is going there now!" She drew a foot and an arrow pointing to a cube. "The world of the Destiny Rocks! The Land of Stone and Rocks!"

"And THAT must be the Gibberish Rocks!" Aurora beamed.

"THEY are CALLED PONEGLYPHS!" Karkat fumed. "At least… that's what our future selves wrote."

"Now I smell… rotting frogs. Yuck! It's the Land of Frost and Frogs! But without the frost!" She drew a picture of a frog in a burning ice cube. "It's…It's melting! D4MM1T, W3 N33D THOS3 FROGS!"

"Now she lost me." Maddy shook. "Zach, maybe you can make sense of her."

"Don't be silly, Maddy, what do frogs have anything to do with our current situation?"

"OH, forget it!" Maddy cried. "I'll never be as clever or as funny as you!" So with that, she went to sit on a stool in a closet. "I don't deserve to be in your shadow, Zach."

Mike Wazowski came to pat her back. "If ya want, I can teach ya to be a heck of a scarer. (I was in one of the cards Chris found.)"

"Contrary to both of your points, the frogs are 1ND33D important!" Terezi drew another picture of a snowflake. "And we will need the aid of the icebender to restore them."

"WAIT, I KNOW THIS ONE!" The unusually-tall Chris flailed his arms. "It's, uh… We need Chimchar!"

". . . . . ." He was met with utterly disbelieving and confused expressions. "No, Chimchar is a _fire_ type…" Maddy responded, "and I didn't notice it until now, but there's something different about you, Chris."

'Chris' backed away when Terezi started approaching and sniffing him. "HRRRRR! N3P3T4, F4K3R!"

Nepeta leapt up from behind the adult and SLICED off his disguise with blue claws! The man underneath the clothes was one the heroes recognized: "IT'S BALDY BALD!" Maddy screamed.

"Aw, crud!" cursed Baldy. "That disguise was nearly flawless! There's no way you could've found out that I wasn't Chris!"

"Guess again!" Zach smirked. "A discolored uvula tipped me off!"

"B4ST4RD!" Terezi hissed at him. "1 W4S TH3 ON3 WHO C4UGHT H1M!"

"Everyone, be careful!" Cheren yelled at the guests, drawing his blade. "He's one of the Darknesses! In fact, I think he was the one that Sector W7 encountered!"

"What did you do to Mocha?!" Maddy went Haki Fury and grabbed his shirt to pull him down to her level.

"What do you mean, I didn't drink any mocha! But seeing all this HAIR around, I think I'm due for some LUNCH!" He grabbed Maddy's head and drained her bald.

"Eeek!" Maddy released him and clasped her orb-shaped head in agony.

"Super Fist of Red Magic: Hungry Hair Hydras!" The czar sent red energy snakes from his back, latching onto Chihiro, Tails, Melody, and Russel Thrush to absorb their hair follicles.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Wendy cast the Bind Curse at Baldy, but this merely turned him into a coat-hanger.

"Your puny magic won't effect me!" Baldy poofed behind Wendy and clasped her head. "But I bet your hair tastes like blueberry!"

"Get OFF HER, you cretin!" A white-haired Nimbi woman stamped Baldy with a high-heel kick. Charle landed beside her daughter. "Is your hair okay? You waited so long to get these ponytails the way you wanted them."

"They feel fine, Mom, really."

"OW!" Baldy felt stinging pain in the place her heel dented. When he recovered, he noticed Sugar had come down the stairs. "ZOWZA! When I'm done with her hair, I don't wanna stop there! !" The erratic czar scrambled to his feet and charged for her.

"AAAAAAHHH!" Sugar grabbed her hair and embraced for the worst.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Zach demanded.

"HNNN?!" Baldy looked up the stairs.

"Touch one hair on her head and I'll kill this bunny!" Zach was holding a knife to Rabbit.

"WHAT?!" Rabbit cried. "I don't even know that freak, why would he care about me?!"

"NOOOOO!" Czar stormed up the stairs, tears flying behind him. "I need that rabbit for my Alice In Wonderland Real Experience on the _King Dutchman!_ "

"Couldn't you just kidnap the actual people from the universe?" Maddy commented.

"They said they only show up for unbirthday parties."

"GUESS WHAT, SO DOES THIS GUY!" Zach stuffed Rabbit in a cannon and BLASTED Baldy all the way down the stairs. "Sheila, the fridge!"

"WAY ahead of ya, Mate!" Sheila grabbed the living room's refrigerator and plopped it in the way Baldy was flying. The czar crashed into the open fridge, prompting Sheila to close it.

 _"No! You can't leave me in here! I have a movie to get to!"_

"Catch it when it's out on DVD." Cheren retorted. "But if he was pretending to be Chris, where's the real Chris?"

"Over here." A blinding light suddenly ignited.

"HOLY BLIMEY!" Sheila gaped at Chris's sunny form. "He's been shaven so well, he's shiny!"

"I'll sew his clothes, so he has something to wear!" Wendy yelled.

She used magic to repair Chris's clothes and fit them back on. When the light dimmed away, they noticed an old-timey telephone on the floor. It had a gold pyramid with an eye. "That must be what Baldy uses to contact Bill." Artie figured.

As if on cue, the phone rang. "Guys, don't answer it." Cheren cautioned. "I think we oughta destroy it so he can't-"

Zach answered it. "Hello, Secret H.Q. Pizza Delivery Service, here to satisfy your inter-dimensional needs!" Everyone gaped at him in disbelief.

 _"PLAH HA HA HA! Very funny, Zachy, I know it's you! I still see everything from those triangles!"_

"Is that Bill?" Jessie came down the stairs.

 _"Polokus, nice to see you! Hey, Unfunny Clown, put the Bubble Wizard on the line."_

Jessie came over and took the phone from Zach. "What the *** do you want, Bill?"

 _"Is that any way to greet an old friend? Lord English knew that Tsuru would stumble upon your hideout by chance. Now that I know what you're planning, it'll be easy to arrange counter-attacks!"_

"Can't Lord English already tell you what we're planning if he knows so much?"

 _"Ordinarily, he could, but ever since that cheap twist Zach pulled at Enies Lobby, he hasn't been in his right mind. Not that it makes your chances any better. So, listen, Polokus, I've got a little show set up for you! Come to the Land of Circus and Flying, and bring the songbender."_

"Does he mean me?" Sugar wondered.

 _"Yes, I mean you. Someone very important to you is on this planet. If you don't come, I'm going to kill her!"_

Sugar gasped. "Meloetta!"

 _"Bingo! Poor Firstborn, tucked safely in her egg. In her 2nd Age form, she's vulnerable as a newborn. But I'm sure we can strike a deal. So, both of you come on down to LOCAF. I don't care who you bring with you, but see that they don't interfere. P.S.: You know that thing we did with Specter a while back? Well, I've rigged Baldy to self-destruct."_

"WHAT?!" the refrigerator jumped.

 _"Ten seconds, bye!"_ Bill hung up.

Maddy and Sheila used their Midas and Haki arms to lift the fridge and bolt up the stairs. They set the fridge in the hangar, positioned at the exit. "NOW, Sheila!" Both spun their fists and sent the czar flying into Paradox Space. The word _POP_ flashed in the place where the fridge exploded, and sounded like a balloon.

Cheren sliced Bill's phone in half. "Quick thinking." Karkat complimented. "But they're probably going to send soldiers to this area. We're going to have to move locations. You all should leave this place and continue your missions."

"No reason to keep Bill waiting, I suppose." Jessie was ready to leave.

"The HELL do you think you're going?! It's OBVIOUS Bill is setting a trap for you! You're one of the Seven Lights, it's too risky for you to go!"

"Well, Mr. Contacts-His-Future-Self, TELL ME IF I'M GOING TO F**KING DIE!"

"I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING, SMARTASS!"

"I'LL BET YOU DON'T, DUMBASS!"

"Now I do believe you designed us." Cheren said to Vriska, smiling at their banter.

"Please, stop fighting!" Wendy pleaded. "Me and Carla will go with them for support."

"Then I guess my sector will go to this treasure map planet." Aurora decided.

"Strewth!" Sheila and Maddy came back down. "Nothing would make this adventure better than a good old-fashioned treasure hunt! Uh… hehehehehe!"

"What?" Chris cocked a brow.

"You and Maddy look like infants! AHH HAH HAH HAH!" At this, the two grabbed their bald heads and blushed.

"Wait, why am I ashamed?" Chris smiled and put on his sunglasses. "I say I look like dad." He spoke in British.

"Ha ha ha! Okay, team, let's get a move on!" Cheren said.

As everyone set to leave the base, Terezi grabbed Cheren's arm. "GRQ'W WUXVW WKH VSLGHU3LWFK!"

"What?!"

"1T'S 4 C43S4R C1PH3R. YOU KNOW HOW TO SOLV3 CRYPTOGR4MS, R1GHT?"

"Um… yes?"

"GOOD. TH3N G3T LOST!"

Cheren took his arm back and exited with a creeped-out expression. Vriska floated near the ceiling, staring at Terezi suspiciously.

* * *

 **I've really been slacking in my cryptogram duties. :P Next time, prepare for a musical number. ;P**


	6. Big Daddy

**Continuing on!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-6: Big Daddy_**

 **Planet Bounjum**

With the KNN ship repaired, Danny drove Jessie, Sugar, Wendy, and Carla to a colorful planet that was flashing in several areas. Upon entering the atmosphere, they realized that it was a planet composed entirely of circus tents. The stars in the sky sparkled like the circuses' countless lights. "A planet that's naturally composed of circuses…" Sugar smiled in awe as she stepped onto a red carpeted platform. "Wouldn't Floop go crazy if he saw all this, Wendy?"

"He sure would!" Wendy beamed at the colorful sights. "If I invited him here, I'm afraid he might explode like one of his balloons!"

"I would enjoy it, too, if Bill's ugly eye wasn't glaring everywhere." Jessie noticed giant eyeball pyramids rotating on the tips of numerous tents. "There's more than enough tents here for the Darknesses to use as hideouts."

"I agree. But Meloetta's definitely here. I can hear her voice." Sugar said. "Let's rescue her before Bill has a chance to hurt her." (Play "Switch Scramble Circus" from _Mario 3-D World_!)

 _Stage F-3: Land of Circus and Flying_

 _Mission: Rescue Meloetta from Bill._

 _"Come one, come all, to joyous Planet Bounjum! This is Bill Cipher, your new sub-ruler, coming to you live with enough entertainment for a multiverse! Watch as four hapless souls brave the perilous park in some silly, ill-forgotten hope of defeating me! Hurry now, Polokus!"_

The trio leapt onto and grinded along a tightrope, which snaked around several circus tents before setting them on a red path. Juggler Heartless (impish jesters) came rolling in on giant balls, juggling bombs that they would hurl at the operatives. Jessie blew a bubble trampoline to bounce them back—however, Bulblin Archers perched above tents popped the bubble with arrows. Wendy was quick to defend from the bombs with Protego, then Carla lifted her up to blast the Heartless with spells.

Shy Guys were swinging on trapezes higher above the path and dropping bombs, forcing the group to evade them as well as the Bulblins' arrows. At the end of the path, they had access to two cannons that fired confetti bombs, and they were strong enough to hit the Bulblins and knock them off. Jessie was able to make slanted bubble trampolines so they could bounce up to a higher path. From here, they were level with the Trapeze Guys. Sugar faced them, put her hand in an 'o' over her mouth, and coughed a straight sonic wave that struck them all in a straight line. Sugar then decided to swing these trapezes, doing so gracefully until she landed perfectly on a floating platform.

There, she discovered a Catch Card. The card's captive was a spike-haired man named Brock, whose eyes seemed to be closed, yet he could still see. "I must be dreaming," Brock's face reddened, smiling goofily at Sugar, "because a giant version of the perfect girl is holding me!"

Sugar giggled. "My, I've found a cute one, haven't I? I know just where to put you." With that, she slipped Brock in her cleavage.

"That's completely inappropriate!" Carla stated.

"Don't be jealous because you two are late."

Wendy was saddened, looking down at her chest. Sugar swung back to them (wait, how did they even see that from that far?), and they headed into a circus tent. In this tent, a thin pathway of tiles went around and over a pit, shaping like a rectangle with an indent in the middle top. The tiles all bore the Heartless Emblem, but when Wendy stepped on one, it changed to the KND logo. "Perhaps something will happen if you step on them all." Carla said.

It switched back to Heartless Emblem. "I'll need to do it quickly." With that, Wendy began to dash across the path, doing quick right-angle turns when it was needed. The indent almost threw her off, but she kept steady and was able to convert all the emblems to 'KND.' They all sparkled as a tightrope grind-rail appeared below. _"Welcome to the Grind-and-Shoot! Shoot the targets as you're grinding and see what surprises await!"_

"I bet we won't like them." Jessie said, drawing his Keyblade. "Let's go." He jumped on the rail first, followed by Wendy, then Sugar. Whenever a flame barrier would come up along the tightrope, Wendy had to shoot a spell at a target to lower the gate, but would have to hold back in doing so if there was no gate. Jessie, in the meantime, swat Air Soldier Heartless away. The tightrope eventually led outside and dropped them on a large, round platform.

"Ouchie-ouchie!" Sugar rubbed her reddened soles. "Grinding barefoot is a bad idea!"

"We've got company, girls." Jessie cautioned, facing upward. A Mega Alakazam floated down, ten spoons rotating around him via psychic. The Pokémon rapidly flung its spoons to attack them, Jessie blocking with Keyblade and Wendy with Protego. _"WAAAAAHH!"_ Sugar cried a deadly soundwave to hurt Alakazam's ears, leaving Wendy to blow it down with a Sky Dragon Roar.

Afterwards, Jessie impaled the Keyblade into its head. "I read that psychics are weak against fear. I can use my Keyblade to unlock the fears this one has."

 _"Ala…Ala…kazam!…"_ The Pokémon gripped its head in agonizing fear. He flew up and aimlessly crashed into tents before plummeting down. _"So, Polokus, you've developed a fancy for using fear. But don't forget who the real master is. I still see the way you think about Shelly when no one's looking."_

A music note pad appeared on one side of the platform. Standing on it fueled Sugar's Music Chi, and she sung the circus theme to make a Song Road for her friends to glide on. Like any Song Road, Sugar alternated lines to touch the notes and stay with the rhythm. The Song Road surfed up the roof of a tent, ending at the top where Sugar grabbed a trapeze—Wendy holding her legs and Jessie holding Wendy's. A rush of wind brushed them as they swung down, zooming past numerous tents.

 _"HAH HAH HAH HAH!"_ A large Bill picture popped up in their route and sprouted spikes.

"AAAH! LEAN LEFT!" Sugar screamed, hurriedly turning the swing and flying that direction to avoid the spikes just in time. They dodged left and right to avoid upcoming torch towers, followed by a rather tight U-turn around a spike wall. As they were coming to land on a platform, Sugar luckily caught a floating Catch Card in her cleavage.

 _"BACK OFF, this spot's taken!"_ Brock shouted.

 _"This is entirely inappropriate!"_ yelled King, a short boy with orange hair.

"Only one, please!" Sugar took King out and handed him to Wendy.

"Sorry for the abrupt treatment." Wendy told him before placing the card in her pocket. The next path was littered with Beamos designed like Bill's head, shining triangular spotlights around the floor. "Reducto!" Wendy attempted to destroy one of the Beamos, but the triangle looked in her direction and turned red. Bulblins charged out of unseen places and bombarded them with arrows, Jessie swiftly swinging his Keyblade as a defense measure and stabbing the demons once to put them to sleep.

They made a mad dash through the Beamos field and got to a tower of tall platforms. Wendy put up a magic shield from the Bulblins, allowing Jessie to make bubble trampolines to bounce them up to the platforms. Some platforms had Yellow Chuchus that would flatten and electrify, requiring them to wait for the Chus to power down before they were safe to attack. At the top of the tower, the heroes crossed a small bridge to the roof of a tent. A Card Bandit (a blue Shy Guy with a smirking mask) taunted "Nah nah nah-nah nah!" as it ran around the roof with a Catch Card. Wendy chased the Bandit with superior speed and tackled him to the roof. The card fluttered out of his grasp, but Carla caught it. The one in the Catch Card was a green-haired fairy named Cosmo.

"Ooo, a fairy cat! You'll make a great edition to our show! We got lots of bad episode ideas!"

"I have a more important show to run, thank you." Carla stashed him in her purse. The group discovered a hole in the roof that allowed them to enter the tent. They were on a platform with four cannons in each compass direction, and a target moving around the walls. Jessie whacked the cannons with the Keyblade to fire them, striking the target a total of three times before one of the walls opened. Sugar climbed in the corresponding cannon first as Jessie launched her, followed by Wendy, then he fired himself.

They landed on a slide that had small pools of lava, fairly easy to dodge. At the bottom of the slide, they stood before a small sea of balloons ascending from the abyss. "Only one way up!" Wendy said before happily bouncing up the balloons. Jessie and Sugar mimicked her actions, with each balloon popping upon touch and propelling them up a few feet. Along the balloon trail, giant slow-moving fan blades attempted to block their path, forcing them to keep bouncing in one area until the blades passed.

A giant fan was blowing balloons across a chasm, and the kids blew along with it. Bouncing on the balloons was trickier to do during this, but they managed to last until they could land on a new path. This road took them to a greater, blue-striped tent with two Bill heads rotating on top. _"Well, well, well, you made it just in time, Polokus! I got everything set up for you. And of course, the ladies can come and watch."_

Before entering the tent, Jessie looked right and saw a Shy Guy fondling a card in the corner. "Ho ho ho… this is the rarest card ever. I'll make millions selling it at the Dollar Store."

"Sounds good enough to steal." Jessie said before bashing the Guy unconscious. The Catch Card contained Blooregard Q. Kazoo. "Are you f**king kidding? This is the most common card of all."

"Hey, there's a million Bloo Cards. But there's only one me." Bloo stated proudly. "Well, except for my hundreds of clones."

"Go figure." Jessie put him away. Afterwards, the trio entered the tent. (End song.)

Some fanfare played as spotlights shone on a stage. The audience consisted of Heartless, Hollows, and demons. "WELCOME, Jessie Sidney, to the Sonata of Me and You!" Bill announced, using his scepter as a microphone. There was a giant egg on the stage, and they knew what it was. "Don't worry, Meloetta's still safe and sound. I've got bombs rigged to blow if you don't play along. Jessie, if you would, step onto the stage. Your girlfriends can wait down below."

"Not brave enough to fight us all?" Jessie cocked a brow. "Fine, Bill. I'll play your game." He passed a glance to Wendy, who looked calm and nodded. Jessie walked up the tall steps and onto the central stage. He stopped and observed the pyramid-shaped bombs around the stage.

"That's right… a bit closer…" Bill smirked. Jessie walked onto a small pad. "STOP!" Bill pressed a switch and the pad turned red. "That's a motion-sensor pad! Move even a single inch and this stage explodes! That includes turning your head or flexing a finger." Bill tapped the microphone. He looked up and smirked at the other conscience with Jessie. "This song's for you, too, Madotsuki. LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!" The music played and the song began.

 _Take me home… to…_

 _The Gameverse!_

Bill danced and sidestepped, but Jessie refrained from turning his head.

 _Never dull… in…_

 _The Gameverse!_

 _Crossovers rule, it is WILD! *flips and does a splits*_

 _Everyone laughs and everyone smiles_

 _I was so GLAD to destroy them all_

 _NOW I'm gonna DANCE!_

Unbeknownst to Bill, Rupert Dickson was leading a small group of Pikmin across the stage, aiming to enter and disarm the bombs. _I hope this works…_ Wendy thinks to herself nervously. It was Sugar's idea for Rupert to hide in Wendy's Vanishing Chest, so the girl could call them over if they needed to. Wendy released the Pikmin so they could hide under Jessie's robe minutes ago, and the Pikmin climbed off before he stepped on the motion-sensor pad.

 _I destroyed all your worlds and I'm dancing! *jigs forward*_

 _I crushed all your hopes and dreams and I can't stop dancing! *jumps left and right; Jessie keeps still*_

 _I have UNLIMITED POWER, and I'm still dancing! *explodes with blue flames briefly*_

 _WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?! ? *performs several flips before thrusting his face at Jessie*_

 _But annoy the CRAP out of you!_

Rupert's Ghost Pikmin phased into the bombs to disable them, but if Bill spotted the tinies during his dance, he would blow them up with no hesitation. So, if Bill looked at them, the Ghost Pikmin would make themselves and Rupert invisible. Bill kept singing,

 _Oh, hi there, Madotsuki! *the music repeats the rhythm*_

 _Now, you were VERY kooky! *the music repeats again*_

 _You were RAPED in the dead of niiiight_

 _In the end, you chose suiciiiide_

 _And thanks to you… I have legs now_

 _ALL I do is DANCE!_

 _Nigel Uno's dead and I'm dancing!_

 _Jagar King's dead and I'm still dancing!_

 _CALLIOPE IS DEAD!_

 _And I just keep dancing!_

 _LIKE SCOOBY-DOOBY-DOOOO! ! ! *swings his staff around before flashing columns of fire*_

 _And piss the FUCK out of you! *flicks his hand at Jessie's face*_

"Hey Jessie, stop me if you heard this one! Ahem:"

 _Moses *clap* supposes *clap* his toeses are roses_

 _But Moses *clap* supposed this *clap* ERRONEOUSLY *rolls eyes*_

 _So then Lord English *clap* proposes *clap* that toeses are roses_

 _And Moses *clap* supposed his *clap* accurately_

 _Because English WANTED THEM TO BEEEE!_

"So to recap:"

 _A toes is a rose *clap*_

 _A nose is a hose *clap*_

 _Your clothes will outgrows *clap*_

 _We knows as it goes_

 _'Cause – wait I lost my train of thought – WHY?! ?_

 _"BECAUSE LORD ENGLISH SAID THEY WOULD BE!"_ cheered the audience.

"Thus, he proposed it ACCURATELY!"

 _You see, I can TASTE… your FEAR… *glares closely at Jessie as he steps around him*_

 _Because the end… is… NEAR…_

 _I never felt so alive!_

 _It's so fun to look deep inside_

 _That screwed up little mind of yours_

 _Don'tcha wanna DANCE?_

 _We're rewriting the worlds and we're dancing! *swings a trapeze*_

 _We're killing everyone you love and we just love dancing! *rolls across on a giant ball*_

 _I fucked up Mado's body, and STILL I'm DANCING_

 _IT'S CRAZY, BUT IT'S TRUE! ! !_

 _All to FUCK with you!_

"PLAAAAAAAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAH! HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAH!" Bill fell into a laughing fit, but still Jessie wouldn't move his head to look at his ridiculous position. At least, not until he noticed Rupert giving the thumbs-up.

Jessie shut his eyes nervously and raised an arm. The motion-sensor didn't set off the bombs. He smirked to his teammates and gave the thumbs-up.

"HYYYAH!" In her humanoid form, Charle flew up to STAMP Bill under her high-heel.

Sugar and Wendy dashed up onto the stage—Wendy laid the Vanish Chest down for Rupert's army to jump into, leaving Sugar to open the Egg Chamber. Meloetta bared a human face, her hair long, flowing, and shining rainbow colors. She soared around the tent with music note wings that rained glitter and stung the monsters.

Meloetta set her high-heeled feet beside Sugar. "Ohhhh, Sugar!" she sang. "I heard so many wonderful voices! So many wonderful songs! All sung with love and harmony! Nothing could go wrong!"

"That sounds so amazing, Meloetta! I wanna hear these wonderful sounds!"

"After we hear the sounds of Bill's despair." Charle stated, keeping the child demon pinned under her heel.

"That's a song I can dance to!" Jessie smirked, tipping the Keyblade to Bill's head.

"Hn-n-now wait just a second, Polokus." Bill chuckled nervously. "I know we can strike a deal! Perhaps you'll like our Intermission Entertainment!"

The tent mysteriously levitated into the air, exposing them to a fleet of flying pirate ships surrounding them from every direction. Bill remained in his captive position, smirking as the heroes readied their guard. A Dark Pokéball came flying out of nowhere and struck Meloetta. "AAAH!"

"Meloetta!" Sugar screamed when the Firstborn turned into darkness and was slurped inside the Pokéball, which flew back into the hands of Ganondorf, standing on a tent.

The Darkball shook in Ganon's hand, alternating rainbow colors. "The Firstborn are much too powerful to be commanded by the likes of you. Unfortunately, these pathetic little child gods refuse to embrace their titanic power, and put their faiths in weak children who believe in goodness."

"Which is why we intend to put them to good use!" Bill said before poofing out from under Charle's feet and reappeared flying above them. "Still, it seems that even our Darkballs can't contain a 2nd Age Firstborn. Perhaps we need Sugar's help for this, too!"

"Okay, I'll help!" Sugar shouted. "Help Meloetta escape! MELOETTA, KEEP FIGHTING! DON'T LET THAT BALL CONTAIN YOUR SOUL! _Mmmmp-!"_ She was seized from behind as a clawed hand slapped over her mouth.

"Cease your useless crying!" ordered a man with spiky blonde hair, red eyes, and fangs. "Or YOUR soul will spend the rest of eternity in my bowels!"

"Kids, I would like you to meet my new friend, Dio Brando!" Bill introduced. "He was so excited to join our cause, he jumped like a little kid!"

"And I won't hesitate to dine on your flesh NEXT, Cipher."

"Hey, can't blame a guy for poking fun. Just bite her, Dio. Once Sugar is under your control, Meloetta will fall into our service!"

 _Bite her? Is he like a vampire?_ Wendy wondered. _In that case…_ "Lumos Solem!" Sunlight exploded from her wand, burning Dio's skin and giving Sugar the chance to escape.

"ARRRGH!" Dio screeched as the light continued to burn. "You annoying little-!"

 _"Uuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaahhhh. . . ."_ Meloetta was able to escape the Darkball, singing with a seemingly pleasant, yet earsplitting tone that sounded like nails scratching a million chalkboards in the enemies' ears. However, the heroes were safe in a Silence Shield she created.

"I think this is our cue to call Danny and leave!" Sugar decided.

"Hold on, where is Ganondorf?!" Charle noticed the Dark Lord was no longer on the tent.

 **"ENOUGH YOU BRATS!"** A dark portal opened on another tent. Danny Jackson was kicked out, followed by Ganon as he pinned the boy under his foot. Meloetta ceased and gasped when Ganon tipped his sword to Danny's head. "Surrender immediately or I puncture this boy's head!"

"BOOM! CHECKMATE!" Bill cheered. "What's it gonna be, Polokus?! Wanna risk losing a teammate for the sake of attempting to make an escape?!"

"Guys, just forget about me!" Danny pled. "You've got Meloetta, so leave!"

"NO!" yelled Wendy. "We're not leaving anyone behind! !"

"You can't let them get Meloetta OR Jessie! You think I'm real happy about doing this?! I don't wanna die, either, but if you guys can save the universe, then I'm worth leaving! !"

"Y-You can't possibly…"

 _Jessie… you must heed his words._ A voice spoke in his mind.

"Polokus…" Jessie closed his eyes in thought for a moment. "Sigh… Wendy, we have no choice."

"Jessie, but-!"

"We have to escape. We don't have time to think of another way."

"DIO, ATTACK THEM!" Bill shouted.

"LUMOS SOLEM!" Wendy cast the sunlight spell and subdued the vampire again.

"I WARNED YOU!" Ganon pierced the back of Danny's head without a moment's hesitation. Wendy nearly froze at what she had done.

"CHILD, THE BOX!" Charle snapped her out of it.

Wendy gasped and whipped out the Vanishing Chest. "Vacudo!" The small chest turned into a vacuum that slurped the four heroes and Firstborn inside.

On the other side, Rupert, Dr. Facilier, and Nebula noticed the chest shaking. "Looks like things didn't go well!" Rupert yelled in worry. Facilier opened the box, the five people flying out. Jessie sliced the chest with the Keyblade to prevent them from following.

"What happened?!" Nebula shouted.

"D-D-Danny is… d-dead!" Wendy trembled.

"Danny… Jackson?" Facilier asked in shock.

"I-It's all my fault!" The wind mage sniffled. "I-It was a forced reaction, I-I cast the spell, a-and Ganondorf, sniff-sniff!…"

"Wendy, it isn't your fault." Charle hugged her daughter softly. "If you hadn't have done that, we all would've been killed. You saved us."

"B-But Danny…"

"I know… it's terrible. But we have to keep fighting. We can't let his sacrifice be in vain."

"Sniff…sniff… I promised myself I wouldn't cry, anymore, Mom… I promised that I would do my very best to help everyone…"

Facilier softly touched the child's shoulder. "It's alright, Wendy… Just take a moment to let it all out. But when you're finished… your friends are gonna need you again."

Wendy allowed her tears to flow for the next few moments. Jessie and Sugar shared her remorse for Danny… but internally, they wondered what would have happened if either of them died and a Firstborn would fall into the enemy's hands. Danny's loss did not seem as great in comparison… but it didn't seem like Wendy preferred to think that way. So, they said nothing and let her cry.

 **Unknown hideout**

"WAH HAH HAAAaaa…" Bill was sobbing as he trekked down the corridor. "Wah hehn heeeehhhn…"

"Ohhh, poor Bill…" Xehanort passed by with a sympathetic expression. "What's the matter?"

"I almost had a Firstborn, but those stupid kids took her and escaped! Even after we threatened to kill one of their stupid friends! Sniff, sniff…"

"Hur hur hrm. They allowed one of their own to perish to protect a Firstborn?" Xehanort stroked his beard. "Such a selfish action… the darkness is starting to swallow them."

"Yeah…Yeah, I guess it is!" Bill cheered up. "Good golly, I feel loads better now! Thanks, Xehanort! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another matter to see to!"

Bill continued to a chamber with a bright rainbow light source. "Well, the mission to capture Meloetta was a bust… but looking back, her rainbow hair looked an awful lot like yours… Ragyō!"

"Is that right?" The light was coming from a woman with neon hair and a fancy white dress. "Perhaps I am leaving an impression on this universe."

"Speaking of leaving an impression… is he ready, yet?"

"But of course. Presenting the new Lord of the Multiverse: Lord English!"

Ragyō opened a curtain: Lord English was adorned with a green tuxedo and top-hat, whose edges bared flashing squares of the same neon colors. He walked out with his gold cane propped over his shoulder. "OOOOOHHH IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!" Bill cried. "This is the garb of a guy who's ready to rewrite the MULTIVERSE!"

"And best of all… the Life Fibers woven into his clothing amplify his already immense power. If he was not invincible before… you can be certain he is now."

"Oh, Ragyō… how I would've loved for you to be one of the Darknesses. But His Lordship's power could not scatter well enough. Still, it never kills to have a backup army, am I right? Ah, who am I kidding: OF COURSE a backup army kills! That's why it's good to have one! Ha ha HA!"

 **"DAMN IT, BILL! !"** Lord English's thundering voice quaked the fortress. **"I'M STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF BEATING THE BITCHING SNOT OUT OF ARCEUS AND YOU'RE WASTING TIME HAVING LITTLE BITCHES MAKE ME STUPID-ASS CLOTHES!"** Walls broke and became ripples in time, Ragyō changed into a baby, a few dimensions' timelines collided into one-another. **"NOW THAT PISSING INTER-DIMENSIONAL AGENCY WHATEVER-THE-FUCK IS INTERFERRING! AM I EXPECTED TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?!"**

"My Lord, My Lord, it's okay! !" Bill told him frantically. "A few minor setbacks aren't going to stop us! I promise we'll have them taken care of soon!"

 **"I want them eliminated NOW! I know that pissy Calliope still exists, and I want her and her little retard chosen ones ERASED! Those 'Darknesses' are lucky that I let them EXIST in my masterpiece, but if they don't start showing they're worth a shit, I will PISS on their being and flush them in the black hole of nothingness! _NOW_ , BILL! ! I have REAL art to create!"**

 **Elsewhere in Paradox Space**

Sector W had been traveling the universe in the Angel Wing. Fybi Fulbright improved the ship's motion controls, so her teammates needn't worry as she guided them with her own wings. "Wherefore canst an angel flutter in space?" Fybi asked with a peaceful air. "The answer, like life, remains a mystery. All I can be certain of is there is much more to see and feel. There art no chains on this angel."

Anthony, Harvey, and Aranea were dreadfully sleepy. "When are we gonna land on a freaking planet?" Anthony asked. "We passed, like, 10 of them!"

"I couldn't feel any emotions of fear and questioning from those planets like I did from the cards." Harvey stated.

"That doesn't mean the cards aren't on them! Man, I wish we brought Sunni with us. I don't trust that dorky emotionbending."

A few minutes of flying later, an orange light began to glint off Fybi's eyes. The light shone into the ship, prompting the kids to sit up. This region of space basked in the warmth of an orange sky. A sun was setting below a galactic sea, so this realm existed in eternal sunset. "One thing's for sure, Anthony… you can't beat this view." Aranea said.

"It _is_ a world known only to our dreams…" Fybi spoke wondrously. "I could forsake everything… to fly hither forever."

Anthony remembered how beautiful Fybi looked when she spoke that way. The galactic twilight still paled in comparison to her lovely hair… but it did come close. "Me, too…"

"Anthony's in looo-ooove! Anthony's in looo-ooove!" Diancie sung.

"Michelle, since Mom isn't around, there is NOTHING to stop me from whaling on you!"

"HEY, I feel worry!" Harvey outbursted.

"Well, I feel anger. Worry about yourself, Harvey."

"No, I'm feeling worried emotions! The same ones I felt from the cards! They're coming… from that planet!" He pointed at a planet that looked simply like a gray orb with divided segments floating in space.

". . . It's familiar to me." Diancie said.

"What do you mean, Michelle?"

"Anthony, just look at it. That color… It looks just like Stone."

Anthony gasped. He looked at his hand. It was made of flesh and peach-colored, yes, but deep down… "Do you think that's Planet Ore?"

"It must be… We have to land there."

"If thou so wishes." Fybi flew toward the planet and the ship followed.

The orange sky faded into a bright gray once they entered the atmosphere. Planet Ore was composed of large stone houses, and much of the landscape was of a smooth and gray texture that looked like the granite of a pencil. Fybi set foot in an open area within some hills, the ship coming still and deactivating. The four passengers climbed out and gazed at the sights. Anthony wiggled his toes in the soil. It did feel like the granite of a pencil… at least, he imagines it would feel this way.

"You're so lucky, Anthony." Diancie said sadly. "This is the planet we _both_ came from… I wish I still had feet, so I could know how it feels."

"I didn't COME from here, Michelle, Stone did. We're two different people!"

"Hm hm, I know! Well, let's start exploring! I'm just crumbling to see my homeworld!" Diancie bounced forward.

"I shalt make like a blanket over the land!" Fybi flew high. "Catchest me if thou canst!" And she flew off.

"SHOULDN'T WE STICK TOGETHER?!" yelled Harvey.

"She'll call us if she gets in trouble." Anthony assured. "Besides, we gotta find these cards. Let's go, team."

"Seriously, how did all these cards scatter so far?" Aranea wondered. (Play the Blue Mountains combined soundtrack from _Rayman 1_!)

 _Stage F-4: Land of Stone and Rock_

 _Mission: Explore Stone's home planet._

There were steps leading out of this area, but they were much too tall to climb. Anthony used earthbending to sink the steps, making easy access. The steps led to an open field where three Mega Golem (covered in rock needles) were rolling against pairs of rock creatures. Anthony leapt and stomped his feet into the ground, then thrusted himself out with a pair of giant stone feet. Diancie giggled as he jumped toward a Golem in a silly fashion. Anthony made the feet levitate over a Golem, applied pressure, and then CRUSHED the Golem hard enough to KO it. When the other two Golems tried to attack him, Diancie quickly flapped the earth up like a book to smash them, then flipped the ground to smash them beneath.

"Hey, those guys don't look like Ores…" one of the rock creatures noticed.

"But they can move rock. And that one's teeth and body parts oversized like Ore."

Diancie giggled at Anthony's scowl. He broke the stone feet to get down. "Look, we're humans, and I'm an earthbender. Er, except Michelle. Hey, you seen any cards around here?"

"What is 'card'?"

"Little rectangular papers?"

"What is 'paper'?"

"Anthony, these guys are more dense than you are." Aranea remarked.

"Thank you! That nice thing to say!" The Ores blushed.

"Ha! Your quips mean nothing here, Nea!" snapped Anthony.

"Let's just move on!" Harvey insisted.

There was a high ledge with little blocks sticking out of the cliffside. Aranea used nimble leaps to climb up there and find a Catch Card. The card was of a red echidna, and his name was Knuckles. "One of those rock things put me up here as a joke. I didn't really get the joke… they make _me_ sound like Tails."

"And I don't get that joke." Nea said, stuffing him away. After returning to her friends, the group followed a wide path over a cliff, steep hills on their left. Giant Ores were pushing huge stone cubes down the slope. Anthony was able to stop the stones, but more stones would come to push them off, so the kids progressed quickly when they could.

They made it to a hill, where a giant cube slid down at a scary speed, but Anthony and Diancie combined their strength to stop and push the cube up the hill. Living Bone Heartless appeared at the base of the hill and charged up in attempt to ram the earthbenders, but Harvey kept the Heartless at bay by heating his body with anger and using Rage Kicks. "Wow, am I really the only nonbender among us?" Aranea asked. "I feel like such a broken wheel."

Anthony and Diancie could catch breath at the top of the slope. "Hey, don't move it, yet!" Harvey told them as he squeezed through a gap on the right. The large hole where the cube would've fallen had a Catch Card at the bottom. Harvey climbed down the small steps to collect it. The card contained Amethyst, a purple girl with a black top and hair covering her right eye.

"Man, that cube thing coulda squashed me! But I woulda survived."

"Then I shoulda let it crush you." Harvey remarked before putting her away. He climbed out of the hole and squeezed back through the gap, so Anthony and Diancie could push the block into the hole. They crossed the block to a trench area, where cylindrical stones were drilling out of the walls like screws. There were Ores on top of the walls, churning the ends of the screws.

"You have to wonder the point of these alien customs." Nea commented. Whenever the drills stopped, the kids took the chance to jump across them. They rested on a stable center platform, but the next half had vertical drills sprouting from below. The drills were in two parallel lines, so the kids were forced to Wall Jump when they stopped. The kids then followed a path around some walls that led to a hot spring area, but instead of water, it was lava. Block-headed Ores called Igneouses were rising in and out of the lava, but their tops were much too hot to jump on.

"Now's as good a time as any to use temperature control." Anthony channeled chi into his feet and willed it in a cold state, so when he jumped on the block heads, they steamed and cooled. Harvey and Nea could safely jump on them as they hopped to a cliff across the spring. What awaited them, unfortunately, was a greater pool of lava with Ores bathing and melting their woes away. "Sigh… Tom, don't fail me now." Anthony stomped his feet in the ground again and jumped out with rectangular blocks over his feet. "Climb on." His friends got on the blocks, and Anthony maintained a constant cold temperature as he stomped across the lava.

Lava geysers sprouted up in some areas, and their droplets would burn the kids if they got too close. As Anthony steered clear of them, they searched for a way out. There was a platform with steps beside a lava geyser, and this gave Anthony the idea to kick one of the block-headed Ores onto it (it was too relaxed to do anything). The geyser uplifted the Ore beside a high platform, so Anthony stomped up the steps, got on the Ore, and rode him up to said platform. He could safely break the rocks on his feet.

There were flat-topped rocks precariously balancing on stone needles. The kids carefully jumped across them, but there was nowhere to go from the last rock. A more powerful geyser was popping up a few feet from the end of the rock. Anthony chose to take the greatest risk and make the rock tilt toward the geyser just before it would sprout up. (There was a checkpoint before this segment, so no worry if they fail.) His plan succeeded as the geyser sent the rock flying for several meters. The rock landed at the top of a lava slope and slid down quickly.

Fireballs were shooting up from under their foothold and landing and whooshing across it, requiring the kids to make quick jumps or dodges. One of the fireballs was a bubble containing a Catch Card, but Diancie was quick to notice it, letting the bubble pop against her so she could recover the card. At the bottom of the slope, the rock slid across the pool and came to a stop at a shore. Diancie's Catch Card contained Gajeel, a man with long, spiky black hair and nails in his body. "How come your card didn't burn under there?" Diancie asked.

"I've dealt with hotter fire than this." Gajeel smirked.

"Hmmm… I think you'd bond better with Anthony." She gave the card for Anthony to put in his pocket.

The kids stood before a massive, sloping stairway to a massive stone palace. Square segments of the stairway were actual stairs, but others were slopes. Ores were throwing spiked bars down separate rows of the stairs, flipping the different segments. Sector W made the tricky journey up the slope as Anthony and Diancie shattered the spikes if they threatened to crush them. Eventually, the kids and Firstborn made it to the top.

"STOP where you are!" The Ores demanded. "Just who are you puny fleshlings?! Breaking our rocks, climbing to our palace as if you were Ores?"

"You were throwing rocks at us FIRST!" Anthony shot back. "What's so special about this place, anyway?"

"This is the domain of Lord Titan, one of the Great Kings of Ore. To him, you're even LESS than fleshlings!"

"This is Titan's palace?!" Diancie exclaimed. "Titan… Anthony, Titan is our father."

"PYAH HAFF HAFF!" laughed the Ores. "Titan is your father… that's richer than Gold! Next you'll say Lord Gold is your father. And that would be richer than Lord Platinum, and we'll say-"

"Yadda-yadda, okay okay, can we just go in?" Anthony asked impatiently.

"Heck no! Now get off our perch or we'll bat you down like-" The Ores whipped out more spike bars—they were instantly destroyed by sudden light arrows.

"Thou art most late!" Fybi stated.

"Well, you're just in time!" Anthony returned. He stomped the ground and sprung the Ores overhead, watching them roll down the hill. "Fybi, let's go in! I think Diancie's dad is in here!"

"He's Stone's dad, too. Hurry up!" Diancie excitedly bounced forward. She used earthbending to open the palace's giant gate. (End song.)

It seemed like the entirety of the palace was one gigantic room. A great stairway led to a great, skyscraper throne where the great Titan sat. Titan was a humongous Ore with a rectangular head attached to a buffer rectangular body. His arms, fingers, and legs possessed a rectangular shape, but stone spheres connected the parts that would angle. The kids climbed halfway up the stairs before deciding they were close enough. "…Anthony…" Aranea spoke in awe. "Your dad is… a real square! Hhhha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Laugh all you want, NEA, but if he's my dad, then I'm gonna be freakin' HUGE!"

 _"WHO'S going to be huge?"_ Titan thundered. _"Who are you tiny creatures?"_

Diancie flew closer to him. "Lord Titan, my name is Diancie."

Titan was shocked. _"Diancie?! But… it can't be. That's the name I—I mean… Rose and I… gave to our egg. Is it really you…?"_

"Yes, I believe I am. And I also believe… you produced another egg. You named it Stone."

 _"Is Stone… here?"_

Diancie moved aside and gestured to Anthony. The boy shifted his feet awkwardly. "WHOA!" Harvey and Nea jumped back in shock when Titan reached down and picked him up. Anthony stood in the giant's palm nervously.

 _"Yes… I feel it. You do not feel like an Ore… but your aura feels similar to mine. Why is this…"_

"It's a pretty complicated story." Diancie blushed. "You see-"

If time were to fast-forward, Diancie would sound squeaky and incomprehensible. And that's how she sounded to Titan's ears. _"Erm… can you sum it down to 20 words or less?"_

"Yep, that's Anthony's dad." Nea smirked.

"Basically, Stone died, but he was reborn as a human. This is him."

 _"Hm… it's strange, but I think I understand… This boy is my son. HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!"_ Titan stood and happily swung the boy around. _"MY SON AND DAUGHTER HAVE COME BACK TO ME! Five rotations certainly feels like a trillion years! I cannot WAIT to teach you the sacred values of cube-bashing!"_

"WAAAAHH!" Anthony held onto Titan's thumb. He had a flashback to when he was shrunken and his human dad carried him. "Dad—I mean—Mr. Titan, stop! I don't think my body is up to it!"

 _"It's true that your egg was much smaller than other Ores. I was afraid of how you would be treated, so I entrusted you to the trolls. They were gray like us, but much more squishy, so I thought you would triumph over them! But I feel the strength in your small body; why, it is nearly equal to mine!"_

"Hu hu, equal to yours, really?" Anthony flushed. "You're so big, you can lift a mountain."

 _"Oh, any Ore can do that. But I'M strong enough to move the entire planet! Why, 10 cycles ago, our planet was in Flag Space!"_

"Lord Titan, wouldst thou explain something to me?" Fybi requested. "A material known as Permanite exists on this world, dost it not?"

 _"Permanite? That's the strongest material we have on Ore. Only we kings of Ore have the potential to mold it. I crafted some powerful weapons from Permanite that Rose Quartz used to shatter Pink Diamond. Hah! And those arrogant empresses boast about their superior power!"_

"Indeed they do." A voice echoed from the bottom of the stairs. The kids whipped around at the intruder.

"THANOS! !" they screamed.

 _"An acquaintance of yours?"_ Titan asked.

"TITAN, he's a bad guy!" Anthony shouted. "He can destroy an entire planet in just one punch! He's like…like… A ONE-PUNCH MAN!"

 _"Really? That sounds quite powerful!"_ Titan beamed at the idea. _"But if he is your enemy, then you needn't fear. Daddy will protect you!"_

Thanos leapt, Infinity Gauntlet pulled back, and PUNCHED Titan with enough power to blast him through the castle and send him crashing through several mountains. "ANTHONY! !" screamed the other four.

"Hm… One-Punch Man." Thanos smirked as he turned to the children. "That name has a certain ring to it."

"What are you doing here, Thanos?!" Diancie yelled.

"I've been hearing a lot of talk about the Diamonds. Together, they make the most powerful being in this universe. I'm here to see if that's true!" He raised his gauntlet at Diancie.

"Ow… Man…" Anthony felt sprains everywhere as he helped himself up. "Titan!" he gasped, running beside the head of the fallen giant. To think a giant who could move the planet could be knocked down so easily.

Anthony heard a loud STOMP and knew another giant had made its presence. He turned. "Grrrr… Not you, too."

"It's been a while, Titan." Yellow Diamond smirked. "And you too, Beaver."

* * *

 **Yeeeeaaah it was only a matter of time before I added Dio. Dio's from _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure_ and Ragyō's from _Kill la Kill_. The song was based off Joker's song from _Arkham Knight_ , with a little "Moses Supposes" from _Singin' in the Rain_. But wow, isn't it amazing how much _Anthony Ant_ foreshadowed? Next time, another Darkness battle.**


	7. Diamond Is Unbreakable

**It's battle time.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-7: Diamond Is Unbreakable_**

 **Planet Ore**

"It's been too long, Titan." Yellow Diamond said. "I couldn't forget the one that helped Rose Quartz betray us. What I don't understand is why. What did _you_ have to gain from Pink Diamond's destruction?"

 _"Well… isn't it obvious?"_ Titan's head lifted up and made a 180-degree turn to face her. Anthony was almost shocked by the action, but forgot he was a rock creature. _"Me and Rose believed in true power… Power that could challenge even Arceus. She thought it was possible… because Rose was cut from the same facet as Pink Diamond. Only by destroying Pink Diamond could she absorb her Ether. The trolls wanted what we wanted, too, so they helped us. They had harnessed Arceus' power. They gave some of that power to us. Then… from mine and hers and Arceus' power… we created an egg. A hybrid of Gem and Ore, it was going to possess ultimate power… and we called it Diancie."_

"Diancie?" Anthony processed the knowledge. "My… sister?"

"Just what were you thinking in doing that?!" Diamond shouted. "That creature called Diancie was sent to the other universe! Without Pink Diamond's Ether, and without Blue's, Emera became unstable! Only our power was able to stabilize the Ether! That's why… Arceus allowed my world to survive! But to think he let a monster like you survive…" She clenched her teeth.

 _"The Ores are much too strong to be destroyed so easily. And besides… look at what you did, Topaz. You took your Diamond's Ether and lost to those trolls. It was YOUR fault that Emera ultimately lost control and exploded!"_

"Emera did not explode! I was there moments ago! It was still stable, the Gems were alive!"

 _"Was it? That doesn't seem possible."_

"The only reason it could be are that the Diamonds have returned. And this time, I intend to make things right. I have absorbed White Diamond and Blue Diamond into my gem. All I need now is Pink Diamond. By now, Thanos should be sapping her power."

The earth shook as Titan helped himself up, towering over Yellow Diamond. _"You will NOT touch my-!"_

"Just go protect Diancie, okay Mr. Titan?!" Anthony told him. "I'll keep this lady busy!"

 _"You? My son…"_

"You said I was almost as tough as you. That should be tough enough to break this diamond!"

 _"HAH HAH hah! That's my boy! All right… but don't get cracked too badly."_ Titan turned to stomp back toward the palace.

"This is too pathetic for words!" Yellow Diamond smirked. "When we found you, you were nothing more than my Pearl's personal pet. What makes you so different now?"

Anthony smirked. "The same as you." Diamond cocked a brow when he got a small chest from his pocket; a Vanishing Chest. "I got taller." He opened the chest on the ground as small creatures climbed out. He proceeded to resize them with purple Minish Dust.

Shelly Johnson, Tom Taylor, Emily Garley, and Ikuyim Latsyrc poofed to normal size. "Damn, that little box wasn't big enough!" Tom stretched his back. "Why did we have to stay in that thing?"

"For surprise sake." Anthony answered.

"I don't mind a good surprise." Shelly said.

"OH, GOLLY, it's Yellow Diamond!" Ikuyim beamed at the Gem Empress. "Look how BIG you've gotten! I don't mean that you're fat, you're actually beautiful!"

"WE'RE FIGHTING A DARKNESS?!" Emily screamed. "Oh, God! I-I-I don't think I'm ready for this! I'm shivering!" She was also sweating.

"Get your head in the game!" Tom yelled. "Because if you don't, I'll pound your brains out! Just like Sovite did to Hornfels!"

"Geep! Alright, alright!" Emily drew an Infi-Cube, and from it 15 hand-size metal rocks came out. Emily molded the rocks together and formed a giant metal suit with her metalbending. "Let's kick some theoretically unbreakable heinie!"

"You see that, Diamond?" Anthony taunted. "It's five against one! SUCK IT!"

"Heh heh heh… Even if the odds were against me… you are facing THREE Diamonds. And that means _you_ have already LOST." (Play "Aparoid Queen 1" from _Star Fox Assault_!)

 _Boss fight: Yellow Diamond_

The empress started by simply conjuring five diamonds in the air and tossing them at her opponents. They easily dodged before Emily made the lower half of her suit into a spring, bouncing behind Diamond and attempting to mold her arms against her body. The empress turned to diamond and broke free, punching Emily away effortlessly. "HEADS UP!" Tom chucked a large, burning meteor at the giantess, but Yellow Diamond remained in her hardened form, standing still to let it strike.

Tom smirked: the side of the meteor turned black. "D'AAAAAHH!" A direct blow to Diamond's face, she reverted to normal and collapsed backward.

"So, the mighty unbreakable Diamond is weak to Armament Haki." Tom flexed a muscle. "'Guess you were all hype."

"HOW is it you were able to hurt me?! No matter… my defense isn't my most superior talent!" Yellow Diamond drew her Shock Sword and impaled a floating diamond. Five diamonds appeared over the area, columns of lightning shining from them as they moved around to shock the kids. While they were trying to dodge them, Diamond performed a spin attack to send an electric shockwave, stunning the earthbenders. "Did that HURT?!" She turned diamond and stabbed herself, refracting electricity in all directions to weaken them further.

"My lightning can distort the physical bodies of Gems and make it difficult to channel Ether. I'm surprised you fleshlings are still breathing."

Just then, small metal needles were thrown and lightly injected into the kids' skin. Emily pulled the needles back to her suit, taking the electricity with her. "Good thing my metal is highly conductible!" She molded the suit's right arm into a rod and shot the lightning skyward. Yellow Diamond spawned white diamonds around the field, shaping a diamond as lasers connected them.

"HEY, get out of the circle!" Shelly cried, burrowing underneath.

"It's nowhere close to a circle-!" Emily argued.

"DO WHAT SHE SAYS!" Anthony stomped and sprung Emily out of the diamond, then he burrowed under and away. A column of light erupted from the drawing, burning up through the sky and underground. When it ended, a gaping diamond-shaped hole remained.

Shelly reemerged from the ground and broke the area into gray sand, stirring a sandy whirlpool over the hole. "Jokes on you, Diamond Hag! Drown in my Sand Toilet!" The sand spiraled faster in attempt to drag the empress down. Diamond smirked and extracted a sapphire scepter from her chest, sticking it in the sand and turning it into icy blue crystals.

"AAAGH!" Anthony's feet were encased in the crystal.

"What gives, ice like this should be a SYNCH to melt!" Tom yelled, trying to break it off his legs.

"Blue Diamond had the power to convert any solid into beautiful sapphire." Yellow Diamond explained. "And whatever she transforms became hers to control!" Spiked crystal arms emerged from the ground as one lashed toward Anthony, but Ikuyim jumped in the way and shattered it.

"I hate to ruin such beautiful sapphire, but my friends are in danger!" She went to break the crystal holding her friends.

"Hey, lend me a hand, Snow Head!" Shelly grabbed Ikuyim's hand, combining their chi as they stomped the crystalline ground and converted it into sand. The crystal fragments looked like bullets of light as they shot at Yellow Diamond rapidly. She endured a few hits before creating flat blue diamonds that served as shields.

"She didn't crystallize it all!" Emily molded her metal into a drill and burrowed deeper underground. "Tom, we need your help!"

"With pleasure!" Tom jumped into the hole, and he returned riding a rock on a geyser of lava. The lava washed over the Diamond Dust and formed into soil.

"Sweet! Getting back in the…" Anthony tried to bend the earth. "Ow!" He slumped. He was horrified when small crystals sprouted from his hands and feet. "What the frick?!"

"Blue Diamond can turn ANY solid into crystal!" Yellow restated. "Including the organic substance that keeps you standing."

"AAAAHH!" Shelly freaked when crystals grew from her legs. "This is just GROSS! They wouldn't even have this in the show you're from!"

"Yellow Diamond's not even in the show she's from." Tom remarked. "Don't break down and cry yet, twerps!" She created a lava arm and hardened it with Armament Haki, bashing Yellow across the head with it before she made five white diamonds to block it. The empress raised her sword and ran to shock Tom, but the sword was drawn to the rod on Emily's armor. Diamond added more power to her sword, resulting in a powerful wave of lightning that overfilled and shocked the bespectacled metalbender.

Yellow Diamond turned her foot blue and stomped it underground. Anthony used his Seismic Sense. "Blue crystals are moving underground! Tom! Shelly! Ikuyim!" He yelled at which of his friends should dodge to avoid the crystals.

"SILENCE, Beaver!" Yellow Diamond clenched her fist, and a searing pain coursed through the humans via the crystals in their bodies.

"THIS IS CHEATING, BITCH!" Shelly cursed. "And that's coming from me!"

"I agree!" another voice yelled.

Yellow Diamond gasped. "YOU'RE Diancie!"

"Michelle?!" Anthony exclaimed. "You gotta get out of here, she's after YOU!"

"I'm sorry, Anthony! I just… didn't know where else to run."

"I'm not late for the show, am I?" Thanos was standing not far away.

"What happened to Titan?!" Anthony yelped in fright. "A-And my friends?!"

"Those children were not worth the effort, so I let them live for now. And as for the giant… all it took was one punch." He spared a look to the fallen giant in the distance.

"Why haven't you absorbed Diancie's power like you were supposed to?!" Diamond questioned.

"I first wanted to see how powerful you were _without_ the fourth Diamond." Thanos crossed his arms, tapping the right arm with the Infinity Gauntlet fingers. "Go on. They're only children."

"Oh, Lord." Emily was sweating again. "Even if we _did_ beat her… Thanos is even scarier."

"Gnn! I don't need you! I'll take Pink Diamond's power myself!" The empress charged for Diancie, but Tom erupted an Armament lava hand big enough to restrain her.

Diancie spat on Anthony's crystals. "Gross! Michelle, this ain't the time for this!"

However, the crystals disappeared. "Anthony, I'll fix the others. But listen, you should have the advantage in this fight. Mr. Titan said Permanite can crack diamonds, right? You were able to bend the Poneglyphs during the voyage. Find some Permanite and use it!" Anthony nodded and began to use Seismic Sense, searching the earth for any Permanite.

Yellow Diamond sprouted white diamonds from her form to break the lava hand. She dodged when Emily tried to stab her with a large sword, following this with roping the empress with a metal lasso. Emily tried to enclose the lasso, but Diamond became lightning and slipped out, then slashed shock waves at the nerd. Emily again used her suit to conduct and banish the lightning. Yellow Diamond looked up and saw an Armament meteor was hurdling toward her, so she encased herself in a rotating white diamond shield.

The meteor laid nary a scratch upon impact with the diamond. Ikuyim and Shelly ran up and combined chi to try and break the shield, but it was too powerful. "Move, you brats!" Tom yelled, and they heeded his warning as he melted the ground around Diamond. Sadly, even his lava couldn't melt the sturdy diamond.

"AAH! What?!" Diamond yelped when something rammed her shield with great force. Two stone pyramids were aimed at her, controlled by Anthony.

"You did it, Big Brother!" Diancie beamed. "You found some Permanite!"

"Yeah, but it's kinda heavy!" he grunted. He stabbed the pyramids against the diamond, cracking it ever-so steadily.

"ENOUGH!" Yellow Diamond grabbed the pyramids in telekinesis. "Your control over stone is nothing to Blue Diamond's psychic!" She about-faced the pyramids at Anthony, flying to stab him, but he forced them down with his own bending as they crashed the ground and blew him back. Emily used drills, Tom used Armament lava, Ikuyim and Shelly used Chi Unison, but they still couldn't pierce the slightly-cracked diamond.

"I'm a Guardian of Earth, too! !" Diancie flew up and tried to rip the diamond with her own bending. When Yellow Diamond saw the crack increase a smidge, she snatched the Firstborn in psychic and slammed her against the ground.

"You disgrace the Diamond name with your existence, Diancie! I will take back Pink's Ether and shatter you!"

"HANDS OFF MY SISTER!" Anthony hurled a Permanite pyramid at the shield and shattered it. Yellow Diamond submerged in the lava as Tom hardened it, leaving Emily to bash the giantess' face with metal hammers. Yellow surrounded herself in diamonds and connected them with electricity, refracting it outward to distract the kids so she could climb out. "UAAAH!" The diamonds were shattered by Diancie, knocking the empress down.

"You're finished, Yellow Diamond!" Diancie declared. The empress's arms were strapped to the ground by hardened lava cuffs. Anthony raised another pyramid and aimed it at her chest. Yellow Diamond struggled to push it back with psychic, but her attempts were working as Anthony was faltering. Shelly bent sand around Diamond's head and crushed it with Sand Coffin, hurting her just enough so Anthony could bring the pyramid down. (End song.)

"AAAA-AAAAH!" Yellow Diamond choked from the wound in her chest. After Anthony took the pyramid off, her yellow diamond was only slightly cracked.

"YEAH! That gave her some!" Shelly fist-pumped. "One more stab oughta break her, Ant!"

The pyramid plopped on the ground as Anthony gasped. "I need to rest for a minute… huff… that stuff is hard to bend."

"Thanos!" the empress rasped. "Grab Diancie and transfer her power to me! NOW!"

"You know, Yellow Diamond, it would take just one snap of my finger to destroy these kids." Thanos chuckled. "And you can't even crush one of them. But this display is entertaining… so, I guess I'll help."

"HEY, BACK OFF!" Shelly, Ikuyim, and Tom attacked the Mad Titan with their bending, but he froze them in time with the Time Stone before kicking them aside. Diancie formed pink diamonds to fly at Thanos, but he warped behind and grasped the Firstborn in his right hand.

"NO! Let me go!" Diancie squirmed. A smirking Thanos touched the Power Stone knuckle to the helpless deity, Diancie screaming loudly. Her energy was being sucked away like a vacuum shoved against her face.

Thanos discarded the dimmed rock fairy beside Anthony. "Michelle!" He lifted her up.

And with that, Thanos touched Yellow Diamond with the Power Stone. The powers of Pink Diamond coursed through her being and repaired the crack. The kids watched with awe as the empress hovered. "Yes… AT LAST!" Her body flashed between yellow, white, blue, and pink. "The four Diamonds have united once again! NOW our TRUE FORM will AWAKEN!"

She flew to the sky as a comet in the forms of the four Diamonds. Upon reaching the stratosphere, they FLASHED into a mini sun. Six arms grew out of this entity, the four diamonds were displayed around her waist. Where legs should've been, a huge neon diamond was rotating, and a crown of diamonds appeared over her hair. Her lovely face and her body was composed of shiny, pure, solid green Diamond. She spoke with a majestic voice befitting a goddess.

 _"I… am… Emera… the goddess of Gems and Ether. Together… we are the most perfect being in all the universe… and we will share our perfection… with everyone…"_

In one of her hands formed a tremendous version of Yellow Diamond's Keyblade. A great light ignited on the tip and became comets that whisked across the cosmos. They struck planet after planet, transforming it into beautiful crystal. "Four diamonds make an emerald?" Shelly questioned. "That's weird."

"Yeah." replied Emily. "Yet, it feels familiar to me somehow…"

"Anthony…" Diancie grunted. "You have to go up there… and stop her. Use the Sun Chi Lantern… combine our chi… and take the fight to her."

"But even if I had all your chi, she's way too powerful now! How can I-"

 _"You can."_ The kids whipped around, and Thanos cocked a brow: Titan towered over them with a hunched back.

"You're still alive?" inquired Thanos.

 _"I had no intention of dying, yet. Diancie… there is something I have not yet told you. Before you were sent to that world, the trolls… cut a piece of your egg and gave it to me. I am here… to give it back."_ His giant polygonal hand loomed forward and opened, dropping a very tiny marble at Anthony's feet.

He picked it up to show his sister. The marble was white with a yellow and pink swirl inside. _"That gem is called Diancite."_ Titan explained. _"In case you ever lost the powers of Pink Diamond… that gem would give you your true power. Use it… and help your brother."_

"Daddy…" Diancie calmly took the marble. She closed her eyes as the gem resonated. Diancie brimmed a bright white, hovering into the sky. The rock on her bottom broke into a large mass of pink crystals, little crystals hovering by the tips, and large white ribbons flowed from her crown.

 _"Rose carved that gem from the very Heart of Planet Emera. Now, even without her Ether, you are stronger than ever!"_

"Then it's time to act! Big Brother, the lantern!"

"Right here!" Emily grabbed the Sun Chi Lantern from her Infi-Cube and threw it to Anthony. The four Earth Children surrounded him as he raised it.

"SUN CHI LANTERN!" The chis of Shelly, Ikuyim, Tom, and Emily flowed into the lantern, and channeled into Anthony. To test his power, he stomped up a jagged rock, converted it into sand, then lava, brought over Emily's malleable metal, and stomped up five crystals.

Anthony molded the metal into a rocket platform, igniting the engine with concentrated lavabending. "UP WE GO!" Anthony and Diancie took off for the great goddess.

"Big Brother? Would you call me the Royal Pink Princess?" she giggled.

"Help me beat this hag and I just might!" (Play "Aparoid Queen 2"!)

 _Phase 2: Goddess Emera_

Though Goddess Emera was still miles away, she was already reacting by forming reflective diamond walls and firing rainbow beams. "Michelle, there's a weak spot!" Anthony pointed—since he also absorbed Emily's Observation Haki, his senses had enhanced. Diancie followed his judgment and flew to shatter those areas, diamond wall after diamond wall. Soon, Emera made large diamonds appear around every direction to fly at Anthony like missiles, but his borrowed Haki enabled him to make quick dodges. "OOF!" A faster diamond got the better of him, but Diancie flew under his ship to keep him airborne.

"I got ya, Brother!" As they kept flying for the goddess, Emera created an asteroid field of highly reflective diamonds, depicting giant distorted reflections of the kids. Anthony used Observation to navigate around the maze, evading more lasers that bounced all around. Soon, they made it through the maze, seconds away from arriving at Emera. "Anthony, we have to destroy the diamonds around her waist. That should cut the access to some of her powers."

"Let's go for the pink one first." As they flew before Emera, the goddess used psychic to hold them in place. She was bringing two of her hands together to clap them, but Diancie spawned larger diamonds to puncture and push the hands back. She then chucked two pink diamonds into the goddess's eyes, weakening the concentration as they flew around her. Emera willed more hands to spawn around the kids for some fast-pace claps, but Diancie was quick to defend her brother.

They got behind and saw the pink diamond glistening on her back. "Time to crank up the drill!" Anthony molded his metal ship into a drill. "Add a little fire." The drill burned with lavabending. "Mixed with Ikuyim's crystalbending with Shelly's love for breaking stuff… Let's BREAK a diamond!" Diancie pushed the drill forward, contributing her own chi with Anthony's, and together the pink diamond was SHATTERED.

 _"Guu-wuu-HUUU-huh!"_ Emera's body flashed and fizzed for a moment. _"The perfect Gem will not be broken by you!"_ The goddess teleported a few more miles away, creating a sea of tiny glittering fragments.

"Ouch!" yelped Anthony, earning a cut when a fragment touched him. "They're sharp, be careful!" They used gembending to swat the fragments aside, but the goddess began to move them like bullets and scratch the boy's skin even more. Anthony endured the pain, making it through the fragment field as they faced Emera again. The goddess spawned more diamonds and electrified herself, the energy refracting all around them, but Diancie forged her own diamonds and refracted the lightning away.

Little bolts of lightning zapped out of the segments on her body as the kids maneuvered around her, aiming to get face with the yellow diamond. To their misfortune, the gem was electrified, and the surge would prevent Anthony from forcing the drill through. "Crud! I wish I still had that rubber suit from Birka!"

"Wish granted." Fybi Fulbright dropped the suit on his head.

"WHAT THE-?!" yelled a surprised Anthony. "'Didju come from, Fybi?!"

"I wast fortunate to be spared by Thanos. Didst thou believeth I wouldst sit out yonder action? Prithee, I fear mine arrows will help not against this beast, so I wish thee the best." She flew to safety.

"I can always count on you." Anthony quickly squeezed the rubber suit on. He molded the drill once again, leaving Diancie to push it, and the Firstborn made diamonds to refract the defense lightning. When the drill made contact with the electric gem, Anthony's suit made him immune, and the yellow diamond was shattered.

Emera's body fizzed once again, but it regained its solid form. _"I condemn you to eternal crystallization!"_ The goddess spat a ball of ice from her mouth and blasted Anthony off his rocket.

"BIG BROTHER-!" Diancie was unable to help him with Emera's psychic clasping her. Anthony summoned his rocket back with psychic metalbending, quickly heating the engine back up, but he realized his body had started crystallizing. He quickly made the flight back to Emera, estimating a minute-and-a-half before his body was frozen. He again dodged diamond missiles and diamond fragments, making the most use of Observation Haki. When a string of fragment bullets were whizzing toward him, he hardened his body with Armament to withstand the attacks, surviving with minimal damage.

By the time he was at Michelle, flat blue diamond shields encased her, so he pounded on the prison with combined sand and gembending while Diancie focused her own power. "Anthony!" The shields were broken. "Hurry, let's break the diamond!" They flew to the side with the blue diamond, and despite his body save for the head having turned to crystal, Anthony used psychic to mold the molten drill. The impact wasn't as great as before, but a little extra force from Diancie's chi was all it took to rupture the ice blue.

Anthony's body turned back into flesh, and slowly the other crystallized planets were returning to normal. _"This cannot be! No! Not like this!"_ A great diamond barrier materialized around the goddess.

"Are you okay, Anthony? Let me replenish you a bit." Diancie touched her brother and imbued him with a fraction of chi. "We can break this shield if you use your Haki! Come on!"

"You got it!" They flew to the flat top of the shield as Anthony combined sand, gembending, and Haki as he stomped the diamond repeatedly. Emera made hands appear above them, forcing the kids to dodge and resume stomping elsewhere, but slowly the diamond was cracking. After about three minutes, they broke through, and Diancie prevented the hole from resealing so Anthony could bring the ship inside (melting it to a snake so it would fit). He returned it to drill form as they evaded her attacks, flew before the white diamond, and began digging through. It took longer than before, with Diancie having to hold back giant hands, but finally the diamond ruptured.

 _"AAAAHHHH!"_ The shield fell apart, and Emera began to sparkle uncontrollably, wobbling and rotating. They watched as the neon diamond on her base opened, exposing a rainbow heart. "Is that… the Heart of Emera?!" Diancie wondered. "No, it can't be the real Heart."

"Then let's destroy it, Michelle! !"

"Okay! We'll have to go all out on this one! Anthony, I'll give you more of my chi!" Diancie transferred a greater fraction to him. Anthony's aura was flashing between green, gray, gold, red, pink, and black, the full powers of all the Earth Chis. (Well, except bonebending.) By using Diancie's Diamond Formation with stonebending, Anthony was able to materialize a drill of solid Permanite out of thin air.

"HERE I COME, you ugly rock monster!" Emera flew higher, and Anthony pursued, having view of the bottom of the rainbow heart. More diamonds materialized to flash rainbow rays, but Diancie used what remained of her chi to defend her brother. Giant diamonds refracted rainbow walls, but Anthony flew at the diamonds to pierce them. Before he could reach the heart, Emera flipped and swung her massive arms at the drill, and then in came her Keyblade.

The drill made contact with the Keyblade directly, the two forces clashing with equal power. "Get… your… damn… key… OUTTA MY WAY!" Anthony's skin turned gray—the Keyblade broke and dissolved into light as Emera's unbalanced body flipped. "SAYONARA!" And with that, Anthony shot at the heart and burned perfectly through.

 _"AAAAAAAAHHHHH! But I…I'M PERFECT! I am… the PERFECT GEM! AAAAAHHH…"_ Emera's goddess body broke into millions of pieces, all of which blinked into nothing. The pink, blue, and white diamonds faded, while the yellow diamond shrunk back to its original height as a distorted body of light formed. By the time Yellow Diamond could reform herself, she crashed on Ore's surface. (End song.)

When Anthony set foot on Ore again, he returned the borrowed chi to his friends. Using and concealing that much chi was too much for his young body. "Heff…heff…" His sister kept him on his feet.

"We DID IT, Big Brother!"

"You BET we did it, Royal Pink Princess!"

"Tee hee hee! My Big Gray Prince!"

"HA HA!" They high-fived.

"Yo, what happened?!" Harvey yelled as he and Aranea rushed over. Fybi fluttered down to join them. "Did ya beat 'er?!"

"It sure looks like it." Tom replied.

"Oooohh…nnnhh…" Yellow Diamond lay weakened on the ground, her body bending in distorted fashions. Her diamond bore a greater crack. "No… I-I was… the Perfect Gem. How could… the Great Diamond Authority be defeated by such a lesser being? Unless…" She weakly turned to look at Diancie. "…Is… that what you were doing, Rose? You were trying to create… a Gem more powerful than the Diamonds. Because in the end… we weren't perfect enough. _I_ … was not perfect enough."

She forced herself to sit up. "Diancie… I have… a request to make: please… take back the powers I've stolen. Without the Ether of the four Diamonds… Emera will collapse. It will be catastrophic. Please…"

"A _betrayal_ , is it?" Thanos stomped Diamond under his foot. "Those powers belong in more capable hands."

"Thanos! What are you doing?!"

"Bill Cipher knew it was possible that you would lose here, but he still needed Emera's energy. So now, the duties as Emera's _god_ fall to ME!" Thanos punched her diamond with the Power Stone.

 _"NOOOOOOOOOOOO…!"_ Terrific pain coursed through Topaz—her body flashed between White Diamond, Pink Diamond, and Sapphire. Anthony gasped at seeing her.

Yellow Diamond's body became a liquid light that flowed up into Thanos' gauntlet. Feeling the lush, magical energy flow inside him, he formed his own Keyblade in the gauntlet hand, while Diamond's Keyblade reappeared in the right hand. "Thanos is invincible! Thanos is omnipotent! Thanos is GOD!"

"Thanos TALKS too much!" Tom retorted.

"Why would you do that?!" Diancie cried. "She was one of the Darknesses!"

"Pah! Even if Bill's intentions DID matter to me," Thanos picked the small, dried diamond up, "I can use the Soul Stone to revive the fallen Darknesses! For now, I'll let you impudent children believe you're winning." The titan turned to his tiny adversaries, smirking at their terrified forms. "But know this: you are all BUGS to the mighty Thanos! Bugs not even worth crushing. So, beware… the next time I encounter you, you will be destroyed… by a flick of my finger." With that, he warped with the Space Stone.

The children had a moment of rest and quiet with the action done. "You know what's messed up?" Tom began. "Yellow Diamond was basically final boss quality. I can't imagine what Lord English is gonna be like."

"Me either." Anthony sighed. "But you know what we're gonna hafta do before we can even _try_ at Lord English?"

"Defeat Thanos, so he doesn't revive any Darknesses." Emily moaned. "Hooooh… there's gotta be someone more physically capable than we are."

 _"Siiiigh…"_ None of them were up for any more trials. Either way, 2 Darknesses down. 11 Plus 2 to go.

* * *

 **I don't know what the Diamonds' powers will be in _SU_ , but I doubt they'll be any cooler than that. (Seriously, that show's hype has been dwindling lately.) Boyyy do we still have a long way. I'll try to keep the hype for this story fresh.**


	8. Ari and the Black Forest

**This is only the beginning stages of this war. It's just getting started.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-8: Ari and the Black Forest_**

 **Team Cheren, somewhere in Paradox Space**

"Say that again!" Cheren yelled in surprise at his communicator. "Anthony defeated Yellow Diamond?!"

 _"TH4T'S CORR3CT."_ Terezi hissed. _"JUST 4S MY PROPH3CY H4S FOR3S33N!"_

 _"THAT WASN'T IN YOUR CRAPPY PROPHECY!"_ Karkat argued.

 _"There's Still Work That They Need To Do On Ore."_ Kanaya followed. _"We'll Go There And Take Them To H.Q. So They Can Rest."_

"Hey, was anyone too badly hurt during the fight?" Cheren asked.

 _"I Think Everyone Is Okay. Don't Worry, We'll Get Them Back Safe And Sound. Ending Transmission."_

"I wouldn't think too much on Danny, Cheren." Vriska told him, flying alongside the R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R.. "I know it's tragic, 8ut when compared to the f8 of the universe, it's just… pretty small."

"Sigh… I know it is. But if Sugar and the others were just going to sacrifice him and escape… why did they even use Danny as a hostage to begin with? I know it's not like us to betray our friends, but it seems too basic of a plan."

"May8e you're right. Lord English's All-Seeing Eyes can predict any possi8le future, so he pro8a8ly saw his plan working either way. He could've just done it for fun's sake."

"If he sees everything, how do we know we're even doing the right thing?" Maddy questioned.

"Well… it could 8e 8ecause of that trick your 8rother pulled. Our future selves told us the Seventh Light was _you_ , Maddy, so the fact that _we_ know it's Zach now, yet we don't in the future, is a 8igger mind-***k than even I could do. That might have messed with Lord English's mind, too."

"When I fought King Andrew," said Cheren, "his Octogan acted up whenever Zach did something silly. It was like he was eye poison. Like a TV."

 _"And today's weather is…"_ Zach's mouth was a TV, displaying the Paradox Space Forecast. _"NO ONE CAN TELL WEATHER IN THIS CRAZY DIMENSION! Our jobs are meaningless! !"_ The weatherman started tearing up the station.

 _"HA HA HA HA HA HA…!"_ The friends laughed.

"AAA8HH!" The laughter was cut when Vriska was struck by lightning.

"You should watch where you're going, children!" Ganondorf sported his wicked grin, floating in place with his cape waving at his back. "Laughter is the gateway to distraction."

Cheren went God Tier and shot out to attack him, countered by Ganon's swift movements. "I was HOPING you'd join the party!"

"Still playing with children's toys, are we? Even when you have the power of a god, you still hopelessly believe you belong with their kind. With mortals."

Vriska tossed a Psycho Sphere to blow Ganon away. "We're God Tiers, true, 8ut as you clearly saw, you can't kill us."

"But isn't that a delicious feeling, Cheren? Immortality? Eternal life? You sought it, and you found it. That which is usually a crime forbidden by the gods and nature. How can you know fear, know hesitation, when you cannot die? Even when your mother slayed me, I was not afraid, because I had already been slain and revived COUNTLESS times! HEH heh heh… I laughed so hard when Bill informed me Grim was reviving your friends ALL THIS TIME. HAH HAH HAH HAH-!"

Cheren zipped up and SLICED across his belly, pushing Ganon further away. "Laughter is the gateway to distraction, Dumb-Dumb!"

"Don't you see, boy? I wanted to slaughter Danny to see how it would affect you. The result, it seems, is minimal. He was a useless mortal, and you think of him as such."

"SHUT UP!" Cheren attacked with Soul Surge for two successful blows, only for Ganon to retaliate with a sonic wave. "All my operatives are important to me! It doesn't matter if they're powerful, have destinies, or not, because I want to create a universe where EVERYONE can live peacefully! I sacrificed my life as a normal kid for the sake of protecting the lives of normal kids everywhere. If I could've chosen the normal, unexciting life, I would have. But I happily gave that up to put monsters like you in their place!"

"Such insolence! In 100 years, you will forget the bonds you shared with your friends! You will no longer view each other as equals. You will forget EVER being mortal!"

"At least I'll acknowledge the fact I was BORN mortal! Unlike you! Been so hyped on demon juice all your life, you forgot you ever lived in the Mortal World."

"I was King in my homeland. Revered since the moment of birth."

"He was the only man in a tribe of women." Panini reminded the others. "Which, thinking about it, is pretty sad on our part."

"Regardless, I was already above the commonplace mortal. I only needed time before I truly evolved."

"Ganon, if you're here to settle the score with me, let's get it over with!" Cheren insisted. "You ain't gonna win me over with your cliché demon bull crap."

"Not yet, boy. There is one more thing I desire first. I know the one called Majora originated from this dimension. In our universe, he was known as the most powerful Demon Saint. I wish to absorb his power as well."

"You'll never find him, Ganon! He's somewhere you would NEVER think to look!" _Actually, I have no idea if Zanifr even followed us out here. I think we would've heard by now._

"I have ways of making you talk! BLAH!" Ganon's tongue whipped out and stuck into Cheren's ear, the sensation rendering him helpless.

 _"Ah'm really sick of this job."_ The tip of the tongue was Hannibal Roy Bean, crawling in the ear like a worm. _"Ah don't mind crawling up kids' brains, but this is Ganon's tongue. And Ah can taste everything. Ewww…"_

"AAAH!" Another force struck Ganon, breaking the connection. The one responsible was a figure in glowing white clothes, ragged blowing cape, a mummy mask concealing his head, and a familiar sword with looped blades.

"Huh?! Who are you?" gasped Cheren.

 _"Did you find your Firstborn?"_

"Uh… no?"

 _"Find her first. Ganon's too powerful as he is. I'll distract him."_

"You still didn't tell me who you are!"

 _"Quit wasting time and get going! We'll meet again."_

"Gnn… Vriska, guys, let's retreat." Cheren flew back into the R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R. and drove them away.

"How DARE you interfere with us!" Ganon scowled. "Just what sort of being are you?!"

 _"Search your feelings, old man. You'll know who I am."_

"This is Cheren to any available operatives." he spoke into the transmitter. "Ganon is looking for Majora. If any of you find Majora in this world, capture and protect him."

 **Sector IC**

"Copied that, Cheren." George responded. "We'll keep an eye out. …Well, Miyuki, you dated him once." He smiled wryly. "You have any idea where Majora could be hiding?"

"…" Miyuki showed concern, putting a hand to her heart. "Zanifr… please stay safe."

 **With Team Vweeb**

Team Vweeb had been exploring on Nebula's Shooting Star. They were kept updated on the progress of other operatives. "HA HA! Way to go, Anthony!" Vweeb jabbed his fists. "I didn't doubt him for a second! He learned from me when it comes to dealing with giant women." ;)

"But it sounded like Thanos took Yellow Diamond's power." Arianna reminded. "I'm not sure we can call it a victory."

"One more Darkness down, right?" Tron asked. "We can at least add that to the book. Anyway… where should we stop next?"

"Whatever planet looks good." Makava replied. "Still… doesn't it seem a bit weird? We've explored areas on two planets… but it feels like time barely moves an inch."

"What do you mean by that?" Vweeb asked. "If time were frozen, we wouldn't have been going anywhere."

"I know… Sigh, I don't know what I'm thinking." Makava chuckled. "Hey, there's a planet." She pointed at one that was green around the sides, but seemed to have a black center. "I say we check it out." She steered the ship towards.

They soon learned it was a forest planet, and the utter blackness was miles of dead trees. "This forest… something has happened to it." Arianna said.

"In this universe, are you sure it isn't natural?" Vweeb remarked.

"Please, let's land." At Ari's request, the craft landed on an open spot. Arianna climbed out first with Vweeb on her shoulder. The Harnitan wore a green top that showed her belly and made a triangle shape, along with a yellow sarong and green sandals. Arianna put a hand to a dead tree. "…This tree is in despair. A wave of darkness swept across this land. It was terrible."

("Viewers, Arianna used the Sun Chi Lantern to borrow Gonshiri's Life Chi." Vweeb whispered. "That's why she's talking to a tree. It took her a while to befriend Shiri before it happened.")

"The tree says… the ones responsible are further ahead. I think we should look into this."

"I'll stay here and guard the ship." Tron said. "Keep an eye out for cards. 'Cause it's not like I could!" (Play "First Steps Into Sunken Glades" from _Ori and the Blind Forest_!)

 _Stage F-5: The Planet Tree_

 _Mission: Explore the dead forest._

Leaves crumbled into dust under their feet as the aliens progressed. They came to a cliff overlooking a chasm of giant, black branches. Arianna saw a giant dried leaf beneath her, so she picked it up and imbued it with Life Chi. She and Makava gripped ends of the leaf and used it to parachute across and past the branches. They briefly slowed down to dodge a falling branch before setting foot on a ledge. Dark Sunfloras grew from the ground and spat bullet seeds, poisoning Arianna with darkness when she was hit. Makava nimbly dodged their attacks and cut the evil flowers.

"Makava, don't!" Ari cried. "Those Pokémon aren't evil! They're being poisoned by this darkness…"

"You didn't stop me from attacking the other Pokémon we've encountered!" Makava yelled as she resumed attacking.

"I know! It's just…"

"Focus, Ari!" Vweeb dropped to the ground and shot off a dark flame on her leg. "We're in the middle of war, we don't have time to be getting sympathetic for enemies!"

"But… Sigh…" Arianna simply waited for Makava to KO the remaining enemies. Past this field was a giant patch of spiked darkness that looked like a puff-fish with fungus. A stairway of large, dead flowers led up to a platform, and Arianna could stretch vines from her flower pot, link with the flowers, and channel the Life Chi into them. The flowers bore a glowing blue color and held up as the kids leapt across. From the platform, they had view of a tall, decayed tree, weak enough for Makava to throw a sword and cut.

The tree toppled in their direction and made a bridge from their platform. To get out of the spike garden, they had to bounce up three mushrooms that would close upon touch. They saw a purple light shining from around some trees up ahead. They followed the light and came to an open area with falling black leaves. A black-haired, teenage boy in black clothes with a white toga was standing in the middle. "Sigh… I guess even this place was doomed to perish." He turned to face his guests. "Your presence does not do it justice."

Ari gasped. "It's one of the Darknesses! Zeref the Black Cloud!"

"HE must be the one who did this!" Makava drew her swords.

"If you know me… you must know there is no point in using violence." Zeref spoke drearily. "This forest was such a beautiful place… I fell in love with it at first sight. Of course… that love became its demise. And I was not the only one… _She_ loved it, too."

Zeref stepped aside. Beyond him was a hill, where there floated a kid-size being in black garb, bare feet, and withered fairy wings. Arianna gasped and ran up to the fairy, feeling a strong sense of familiarity. "It can't be! Is it really you?"

"…" She turned to her Guardian. There was no doubt it was Celebi in her 2nd Age form. Her face was human, but it was dull and dark. "Ari…anna…"

"Celebi…" Arianna leaked tears, distraught by what the spirit had become. "This…This can't be true. How did you even escape the Egg Chamber? I thought only I could free you."

"Bill sent me to this world and ordered me to release Celebi." Zeref explained. "With my Death Magic, I opened her egg. Celebi absorbed the magic and obtained my curse. Her love for nature itself is slowly killing this tree."

"This… tree?"

"It may seem like a normal planet, but it is in fact an enormous tree, spherically shaped, and growing from a giant seed. Bill said it was called the Planet Tree. It is said that the tree is so lush that _planets_ grow from it. From space, you must have seen how much death Celebi has brought to this tree, because of her love. So now, she is trying to repress that love."

"No! Celebi, please tell me he's lying!"

"He's not lying, Ari… I should have learned a long time ago… my love for nature was my greatest weakness. I was too peaceful… I was too weak. I fell into enemy hands too easily. Loving things… is pointless… because everything is bound to wither away in the end. Love is pain, Arianna. I watched so many things die, already. It's better to just forget your love."

"You can't truly believe that! I know you don't!"

"Arianna… if I were lying… if I still loved you… you would lay dead on this ground right now."

"Her pain is no different than mine." Zeref walked up and grabbed Celebi's hand. "The only solace she will find is with one who shares her curse. I am doing you a favor in keeping her from you. Of course, Bill has ordered us to kill you, anyway." He Apparated with Celebi.

Large acorns dropped from above and sprouted squirrel tails and legs. Arianna attacked them with brambles and Makava with swords, but the Heartless were swiftly moving. One managed to sink its teeth in Kava's leg, only for Vweeb to shoot it back, then leap to grab its tail, whirl it around, and hurl the giant squirrel away with super strength. "So, Celebi's Egg Chamber was here." Arianna figured. "But how could Zeref have opened it without me?"

"Let's look for it and maybe we'll find something!" Vweeb hopped excitedly. "Huh? Wait, I hear a muffled sound." He looked behind his left, leaping the fallen leaves to the spot it came from. The girls jogged over as Ari brushed the leaves aside. There was a Catch Card of a purple-haired girl named Laki.

"Siiiiigh, finally! My lungs were tired of making out with stiff flora!"

"I beg your pardon?" Ari cocked a brow.

"I was breathing dead leaves and it sucked."

"Oh… One would think you could just say that." Arianna slipped the card in her sarong. Beyond the hill where Celebi was, they looked over a deep chasm of deadly brambles. Arianna revived another leaf, so they could float down and maneuver around brambles. A wall of thorns blocked the path, so Arianna willed them to move with her bending. They set foot on a wood platform, but they were still in the bramble thicket. The girls swung vines hanging from the spiked ceiling. Some vines had poisonous growths, so Makava cut those ones while Arianna regrew them.

After the vines, they landed before a hill going up, with one on their right going down. They were going to head up, but a swarm of Shadow Heartless began to skitter down—they all looked like a smoggy cloud with a bunch of little eyes. The kids bolted down the right hill, which became wider as brambles collapsed and obstructed their path. They swung another vine path that had multiple forks, but since Vweeb wasn't swinging, he looked ahead and yelled either left or right. The final vine led straight up, but when it ended, they jumped to a next-door one, followed by a third one—the fourth one had a poison growth, Makava cut it, Ari regrew it, and they kept climbing.

At the top of this shaft, the Harnitan made the brambles collapse down with her bending, preventing the Heartless from pursuing. They exited the bramble thicket, finding a large cave where Zeref and Celebi were waiting. "You again?!" Vweeb yelled, charging his ray gun. "What are you still DOING HERE?!" He blasts a Powuh Shot through Zeref's brain.

The wound repaired itself. Zeref's dull expression went unchanged. "Long have I sought a way to die. Nothing in my world could grant my wish. I hoped that Lord English would kill me… but he chose me specifically because I can't die. He had an important task for me."

"And what is that important task?" Ari asked.

"Hm hm hm… A task that I quite enjoy." Zeref grabbed Celebi and Apparated again.

The ceiling crashed open, and a Dark Mega Noctowl flew in. It had shining red eyes, diamond marks on its belly instead of triangles, and the edge of its feathers were silver. The owl flew swiftly around the cave and launched its bladed feathers, Makava deflecting them with her swords, but she was knocked down by the owl's Tackle attack. Arianna tried to whip it down with brambles from her pot, but the owl still evaded and swooped down. This time, Vweeb jumped on the avian and punched it down with super strength, doing Ground Pounds to keep it down until it fainted.

Ari spotted an unbudded flower up near the ceiling. She chose to bring life to it, and the flower spat out a Catch Card. This one depicted Cosmo, a green-haired plant girl with unbudded roses in her hair. "Are you okay? We're here to rescue you." Ari said.

"You didn't need to do that." Cosmo shook.

"No, it was my pleasure!" Ari smiled. "Although, it may be just me, but you sound just like me."

"That's odd, I was thinking the same thing. Your hair is lovely by the way."

"Oh, it's nothing compared to yours! Forgive me for the discomfort, but please, wait in here a while." She slipped Cosmo in her sarong.

"It's a small multiverse after all." Vweeb says. Upon exiting the cave, they appeared to be outside again, but they knew they were closer to the tree's roots. They began to slide down a big, slippery branch, Makava going first and slicing interfering small branches. They leapt to a left branch before this one ended, and this time Makava had to swat away Dark Venomoths. Arianna spotted some vines to the left and leapt to swing them, snatching a floating Catch Card before swinging the vines back to the slide.

"Thank you for saving me!" The person inside was a yellow girl named Lisa. "You know, it's funny, one minute I'm spreading 'Save the forest' flyers, no one was listening, and suddenly I'm in-"

"Please, I would love to hear the rest, but we're busy." Ari put her away. The slide would run off into a dark abyss, but the Harnitan extended a thick, large vine with her bending, connecting it to another slide. It ended shortly, forcing them to make a great leap to a stairway of mushroom springs. They landed on a large branch and were attacked by Dark Beedrill that Makava proceeded to attack.

"I don't think Pokémon would live in this universe naturally." Vweeb assumed. "Zeref and the Darknesses must have brought them here."

"But why? To be poisoned by this darkness?" Arianna wondered. "And I have to wonder how The Thirteen got this far, considering we haven't arrived so long ago."

"Maybe that's another part of the time theory." Makava wondered. "Uh-oh! Watch out!" The foothold was about to snap off its perch, so the kids leapt across two giant leaves, which would also decay had they not hurried. They stopped on a big flower platform, but a Mega Vileplume ambushed them – it had leaves growing from its center and mushrooms on its hands and feet.

The foothold was going to collapse, but Arianna used a constant surge of Life Chi to keep it steady, leaving her friends to fight the Pokémon. Makava held her breath from its Stun Spore, spinning forward to strike the Plant-type, and Vweeb ran around to shoot it from all sides. "Cough, cough!" Makava was poisoned by the dark spores, too weak to move. Vileplume charged a Dark Beam (equivalent to Solar Beam), but instead of attack Makava, the Pokémon redirected and blasted Arianna.

"YOU JERK!" Vweeb used a Powuh Shot to blast the creature away. "Arianna, Makava! Ugh, I have to do everything for you two." Vweeb shrunk the girls and used his Kateeny strength to lift them and jump across another set of mushrooms.

"Huff… Vweeb… thank you…" Arianna gasped.

"You can resize us…" Makava breathed. "We're all right."

"If you say so." Vweeb biggified them. He rode on Ari's shoulder as they proceeded, but the Harnitan felt weakness in her knees. "Um… you sure you okay?"

"I'll make it… Vweeb… I'm not the weak little girl I was before."

She only slowed the further she walked. She watched as leaves turned to dust in the wind. The dust flew into a whirlwind, from which Zeref appeared once again. "I never understood why most people kept walking. Lives are bound to end. No matter what path you take, no matter what you do, you're bound to die. _All_ things… were bound to fade. And my sin was trying to prevent such a fate. So, I ask… won't it be better to accept your fate than continue to suffer?"

Arianna limped around the mage. "My friends and I… need to save the universe. I will suffer all that I need to… to do so."

"You will have to kill me if you hope to accomplish your goal. How do you plan to-"

Makava sliced his head off. "We'll find a way. Arianna, I'll help you walk." She put her friend's arm around her head and kept walking. Zeref's head reattached itself. He turned to watch them.

They expected to find nothing but more death and darkness… but within the dark, a ray of golden light shone onto a green egg. The three smiled, feeling a lovely warmth. Makava walked Arianna to the egg, and the Harnitan touched it. When the egg opened, Celebi was not inside, but rather an orb of light. The orb flew around the three, ridding the darkness weakening them.

 _"Arianna… I'm so happy you made it."_

She gasped. "Celebi… is it really you?"

 _"Yes, it's me! When that boy infected my body with Death Chi, my Life Chi was left behind. And because of the darkness in this tree… I don't think I'm strong enough to take my body back. Arianna… take me to the tree's seed. The seed must be brimming with life force. If I can harness that life force, I'll be able to reclaim my body."_

"Okay, Celebi! I will!" Arianna hugged the orb gleefully. "…Hold on! I just thought of something! If Celebi's powers are enhanced in her 2nd Age form… maybe her Life Chi can revive not just flora, but fauna as well! We can bring back any fallen friends like Danny!"

"That's not a bad idea!" Vweeb agreed. "But couldn't one of the timebenders get the job done a bit quicker?"

 _"Arianna, I know it's sad, but… we cannot bring life back from death. It's not what the Balance dictates."_

"Celebi, there IS no Balance, anymore! Lord English destroyed our universe, and even THIS universe seems to have a few screws loose, pardon my language! The Balance didn't stop Grim from secretly aiding us, so why shouldn't we do the same?"

 _"Arianna, I wish I could make you understand. It isn't that simple."_

"But WHY isn't it simple? If you mastered the powers of Life and Death Chi, no one would have to die."

 _"Yes… you're right. No one would die. Not even Zeref… or Lord English."_

"Actually, not dying sounds pretty good right now." Vweeb said in a panic. "'CAUSE WE GOT COMPANY! !" (End song.)

Saucers that looked like giant gems swarmed over the forest and began decimating everything. "Wasn't Zeref doing enough damage to this place?!" Makava shouted. "Where did THESE things come from?!"

 _"Guys, it's Tron!"_ Their communicators rang. _"The ship's tracking your location, the autopilot is looking for you! We gotta get off this planet!"_

"Do you know where these things came from?!" Makava asked through the explosions.

 _"The trolls said they came from Emera! They've been ordered to secure the Planet Seed!"_

"No! We have to go down and protect the seed!" Arianna yelled. "It's the only thing that can save Celebi! Tron, call Nebula for support!"

 _"I'm on it! I'd sure like to know what sicko's behind this!"_

 **Planet Emera**

The statues and images of the Diamonds everywhere on Emera were transformed into the likeness of their new supreme ruler. At the very highest point on the top of Emera, everyone would look up and see the symbol of their new rule: the Infinity Gauntlet, worn by the Almighty Thanos. "THIS UNIVERSE WILL BOW BEFORE ITS NEW RULER! Thanos is the ultimate overlord, the God of Infinity! This planet of endless energy will be my throne FOR ETERNITY!"

"HOLY F*** IN A DUCK BARREL." Karkat swore as they watched the events. "Attention Kids Next Door, we have a big F**KIN' PROBLEM: Thanos is going BATSHIT CRAZY with power, and it's only a matter of time before Emera explodes under his ego."

 _"What's the plan then?! How do we beat him?!"_ Cheren responded.

"3V3RYON3 MUST ST4Y ON TH31R M1SS1ONS!" Terezi hissed. "The Moon Firstborn is needed to stabilize Emera's energy! The Moonberry scent is fuming in my nostrils! But until then, we need The Keeper! The Keeper can seal Emera's Heart and stop it from exploding!"

 _"Sector KB, relaying message to you."_

"Message RELAYED, Cherry Boyeh!" Bon Clay Jr. cheered. "Hear that fellas, we're goin' on a little detour! Buckle up, we gotta git this cowgirl to Emera PRONTO!"

"Dang finally!" Kimaya sighed. "Anything to get off this Gay Train!"

 **Bore Space**

"Nnnnn…ergh… huh?" Nolan York awoke in the Sandmobile.

"Mr. York, thank goodness!" Carol sighed. "Sector JP arrived just in time. The ship was being burned in spirit flames, but they sucked them in a T.H.E.R.M.O.S.."

"If it weren't for my Ghost Sense, I never would've found you in this place." Karin mentioned, floating close to her sector's ship in her Halfa form.

"Sigh…?!" Nolan scratched his head—he looked at his hand. "M-My hand! I thought it was cut!"

"The second Aizen vamoosed, your hand turned back." Yuki said. "I think it was another trick. I don't see the point, he could've killed us easily if he wanted to. …Er, not that I prefer to think about that!"

"Aizen took Dillon away!" Carol yelled. "We've tracked his communicator, we can go after him!"

"Come to think of it, wasn't Sector RZ supposed to arrive?" Yuki recalled.

"We saw them on the way over." Karin replied. "They encountered one of the other Darknesses, Madara. I don't think him and Aizen being in the same place was just coincidence. It was like they were setting a trap."

"Hm… Trap or not… I ain't leaving my son behind." Nolan stated. "Vanellope, lead the way."

 _"Roger that, Daddy-O!"_

 **Near the beginning; with Sector SA**

"I'm not entirely certain, but this looks like the place we first came to in this world." Goombella observed. "The landmarks look the same."

"You really think we'll find something here, Nagisa?" Morgiana asked.

"I'm positive!" the leader replied. "They teach us in school that if you can't find something, retrace your steps and start again. Plus, in videogames, they always hide something behind the start. …And lo, I see something!"

They were flying toward a small space station protected by a bubble-shaped force-field, save for a hangar. Nagisa steered the ship to enter the hangar, where it seemed that another ship was parked. It bore the Team Rocket "R" insignia. The three operatives trekked through a corridor and found a room labeled _God Production_. There was loud noise coming from the room. A Rhyperior was trying to drill through a force-field protecting shelves of eggs.

"Stop, Rhyperior." Giovanni ordered. "Even if it could be penetrated, you risk damaging the eggs with that much power."

"Giovanni-!" Nagisa stepped in—a long sword made him step back.

"Well… looks like we have guests." said a man with long silver hair, black clothes, and one dark angel wing.

"Meddlesome fools." Giovanni glanced back. "I suggest you leave if you don't want your heads cut off."

"You're not one of the Darknesses." Nagisa said. "Who are you?"

"His name is Sephiroth." Goombella scanned him with an eyepiece. "Known as the One-Winged Angel—WOW, his stats are high! Power Level is 10,121!"

"A talking mushroom?" Sephiroth inquired. "And I thought I'd seen it all."

"Bill Cipher appointed him as my bodyguard." Giovanni said. "However, I would rather you not start a conflict here. This chamber… This is where those trolls conceived the Eleven Firstborn. To think the most powerful beings in the universe were produced like a factory!" He snickered. "And there is an entire shipment of them! If these Firstborn were finished developing, they could overwhelm the universe MORE than Arceus did!"

"Would they… even be more powerful than Lord English?" Nagisa wondered.

"That must be why he's here." Morgiana glared. "Nagisa, we have to stop him."

"Sephiroth, just get rid of them!" Giovanni ordered.

The man slashed his sword down, but Nagisa vanished in a blink while Morgiana stomped the sword down and kicked Sephiroth in the chest, pushing him against the wall.

Nagisa reappeared behind Giovanni and put a knife to his neck. "You shouldn't underestimate me! I didn't waste three years dodging Morg's kicks! I'm a Rokushiki master!"

"Rokushiki? The martial art only known to CP10?"

"The very same!"

 _"RHYPERIOR!"_ The Pokémon growled at the boy assaulting his master.

"Don't get too close or I'll cut him!" Nagisa threatened, turning to Sephiroth and his teammates.

"Hm hm hm. A rubber knife? Is this a joke?" Sephiroth chuckled.

"What?! Rubber?" Giovanni glanced down.

"Fine, you asked for it!" Nagisa cut Giovanni's neck—pink substance spilled and the man fell dead. Sephiroth slashed at Nagisa- "Paper Art!" the boy dodged with the lightness of paper, then Morgiana stomped the angel in the face. "Let's go, team!" They bolted through the passage, but Sephiroth warped and blocked their way to the ship.

"Perhaps I should quit being lenient with you kids. I'll end this quickly." He performed a movement with his hands. "Descend Heartless-"

 _"Huuuum huuum huuum hum hum huuuum…"_ A golden light shone from the ceiling.

"Nnnn! What…" Sephiroth choked in the light. "NNNFF!" Three white Crosses stabbed him. The light was coming from Chelan, the trolls' angel friend.

"An angel?" Goombella analyzed her. "Her name is Chelan and she's a musicbender."

"Is she a friend?" Nagisa asked.

"" Chelan hummed notes and pointed at the ship.

"She must want us to leave." Morg translated.

"Thank you, Chelan!" Nagisa nodded, the trio boarding their S.C.A.M.P.E.R. III and escaping the base.

"Do you think she'll be fine on her own?" Goombella asked. "And I know you didn't really kill Giovanni. If those eggs are really Firstborn eggs, we shouldn't leave him."

"I didn't want to, but that Sephiroth guy is a little dangerous. Let's tell the others what we found and come back with help."

* * *

 **I was gonna make one more scene to set up the next stage, but now I think I'll hold off on it, and maybe I'll work it in later. The Arianna stage drew a lot from _Ori and the Blind Forest_ , hence the chapter title.**


	9. Geek Squad

**I just bought _Ni no Kuni_ and that's gonna distract me. :P**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-9: Geek Squad_**

 **Teach's cabin**

"Ze ha ha ha! In a world of our own, I AM the Pirate King!" Blackbeard danced with a cherry pie in hand. Piles of treasure filled his cabin. "One Piece this, One Piece that, that magnificent treasure is NOTHING compared to what I found!"

"My, you seem ecstatic today." Teach turned when Xehanort appeared from a dark portal. "You should be on guard. One of the Seven Lights is supposed to be coming here."

"Bill already told me. I'm actually excited to meet her! Sheila Frantic…"

"I'm also curious about this Light. In my home universe, there are Seven Princesses of Heart, whose hearts are overflowing with light. I wonder if these Lights are the same."

"Then feel free to watch if you wish. The kids should be arriving soon. Hopefully they won't be destroyed too easily—the spectators will be disappointed!"

 **Paradox Space**

Sector V was flying through a region of enormous waterfalls, pouring into the Galactic Sea. Haylee drove the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. close to the falls as Sheila stuck her hand out and let it brush across. "Mates, the outer space in this universe is LOADS better than the one in our universe! Who wants utter blackness with little white dots, Arceus shoulda decorated it more! I mean, he did with this place!"

"It's fantastic and all, but if your planets were this close to this much rushing water, it would feel pretty unsettling. And noisy." Haruka inferred.

"How will we even know what Treasuria looks like?" Mason asked, staring boredly out the window. "That Terezi chick didn't make a very good drawing."

"Well, you could tell it was a treasure map drawing, couldn't you?" Haylee replied.

"That's not the point! What, we're supposed to look out for a ginormous treasure map?"

"Uhh, there's a very good chance at that. Hee hee!"

"Come on, this universe can't be THAT weird."

"Dude, there's a giant freaking treasure map. Outside." Harry stated.

"You're kidding."

"He's not, Bro." Haru smiled.

Indeed, they were nearing a gigantic treasure map with drawn landscapes, lines, sun, and clouds. The big label at the top read _TREASURIA_. Haylee expected her ship to pierce a hole in the massive piece of paper, but upon passing it, the map became three-dimensional. The islands, sea, and sky acquired a natural color, and pirate ships sailed every corner of the map. It was a pirate paradise that Sheila was overjoyed to see.

Their arrival was noticed by Captain Teach via a telescope. "They're here! Time for a surprise landing!"

His sniper, Van Augur, was perched on a crow's nest, aiming at the bus's engine from afar.

"MOVE aside." Augur was pushed off by Braig, Xehanort's henchman. "That second eye will distract you." He locked his Arrowgun on the engine and took the shot.

 _"AAAH!"_ The kids screamed as the ship rattled. "What just hit us?!" yelled Artie.

"I don't know, but it's in critical condition." Haylee said. "I'm landing on that island."

The bus was forced to make a crash-landing on the beach of a small island. The kids decided to step out for some fresh planet air. Haylee yanked a pink arrow out of the engine. "This looks like something Fybi would shoot. Anyway, me, Artie, and Harry can fix it in no time. You guys should start looking for these 'IDA' people."

"HEAR ME, TREASURIA!" Sheila called. "I am Sunny-Fist Sheila, and I am the queen of ALL pirates! Just thought I'd let ya know, seein' as I'm about to conquer you." She cracked knuckles.

A second later, the pirate ships began to bombard their beach with cannonballs. "AAACK! Dang it, Sheila, why'd you have to piss them off?!" Haylee screeched.

"I didn't know they'd be that sensitive!"

"They were probably against us from the start!" Chris said. "I guess I'll just stay back and help guard the ship."

"Me and Haruka will look in that region, Sheila and Mason can go that way." Aurora decided.

"Be sure to knock 'em dead, Sheila!" Haylee cheered.

"Oh, Ah can't do that, mate. Then there'll be no one to admire me!" She smirked.

"Don't go without your first mate!" Mason announced. (Play "A New Venture" from _Sonic Rush Adventure_!)

 _Stage F-6: Land of Maps and Treasure_

 _Mission: Find the IDA's ship!_

Sheila and Mason jumped across a series of floating barrels, being wary of the ones that would be destroyed by the cannons. When they made it to the last barrel, a cannonball splashed behind and flung them toward the nearest ship. Cutlass Guys burst out of barrels and began furiously attacking the kids, Sheila quickly dodging and countering with Light Fists. She knocked three Shy Guys off the deck with one kick, then spun a large Light Fist to squish four more flat. "Sheila, watch up!" Mason yelped—they danced to dodge the bullets of a Snipe Guy on the crow's nest.

"I'll punch his eyepiece in!" Sheila ran up the mast, maneuvering left or right to avoid the bullets, and once up top, she punched the Guy's gun into his face and sent him falling. The Shy Guy dropped a Catch Card, and the girl inside it was Mey-Rin, a British maid with dark-magenta hair in pigtails and big glasses that hid her eyes. "OHH thank ya so much for savin' me, it's been REAL 'ectic where Oi've been, yes it was!"

"Oi, it's been 'ectic for me 'ere, too, eh?" Sheila replied. "But 'ey, Ay've got a hankering to be walloping some pirate booty!"

"OI, that sounds like a roight good time, a roightio good time indeed, yes it do, wakka-wakka!"

"What's wrong with you?" Mason asked.

"I took some BAD SAUS-ages, yes some bad SAUS-ages I did ate, yes sir indeed sir, yes sir I DID!" Mey-Rin answered.

"Argh, I 'ate bad sausages, I mean I ate some AND I 'ated 'em, you betcha I did, it's true!" Sheila followed.

"Truer than a truth-telling bottle o' truna fish-"

"UGH, gimme that!" Mason swiped the card and stuffed it in his sweater. "Focus, Sheila!"

"Orright then! I say we give that harpoon a li'l spin!" Sheila ecstatically hopped onto the giant spear, and Mason asked no questions as he joined his captain. The harpoon FLEW across the sea and pierced the hull of a distant ship. Barrels rolled around uncontrollably, forcing Sheila and Mase to make careful jumps. They hopped up some stairs and countered Barrel Spider Heartless, which could be destroyed in one belch of Mason's Gas Bomb. The kids climbed a rope ladder up to the deck and were swarmed by three Mega Chatots – their tails looked like treble clefs and the blue feathers were red.

The parrot Pokémon screeched sonic waves to harm Sheila's raccoon ears, followed by a strike with their talons, but she ducked and used a Light Kick on the first Chatot. Mason used his bending to force Purple Flurp into the parrots' mouths and trap them in a burping trance. Sheila grabbed them each in her Light Fists, whirled them around, and slammed them against the deck.

The world began to tremble under the force of an earthquake, so powerful that chunks of the sea sprouted up like cliffs. "Uh-oh! This ship's going over, Sheila!" Mason cried.

"I reckon it's time to scale some tidal waves!" Sheila whipped out her Keyblade and cast a charm on her feet to make them shine with light. "There! Now I'll be light enough to walk on waves, but not too fast to see anything. Grab hold, Mason!" Sheila grabbed her friend's wrist and leapt off the boat, skidding across the water and jumping up the liquid cliffs. Mega Blastoise stuck their cannons out of the walls and blasted strong jets that Sheila was quick to evade.

The kids raced between an oceanic trench where Mega Sharpedos sped up to attack them. Sheila had to release Mason and use giant Light Fist to keep them at bay, socking the sharks in the teeth. They each took three strong hits before they conked out, tiring Sheila, but she retained her strength in time to save Mason, who was struggling swimming in these currents. There was a gap in the left trench wall with a Catch Card in a bubble. Sheila Wall Jumped up this gap to snatch the card. The card contained Maui, a large, tan-skinned man with lots of tattoos. "Wow, rescued by a little girl again? What's wrong with you, Maui…"

"Hey, it's okay to say, 'You're welcome.'" Sheila remarked, putting him away. At the end of this ocean trench was a humongous pirate ship with a wall of cannons. The cannons fired Missile Bills that homed in on Sheila with devilish smirks. "Hop on, Mason." She threw her friend up on her shoulders and used her keen agility to hop up the Bullet Bills. Now that she was on the deck of the ship, she could set Mason down and massacre the band of Heartless Pirates with light. Mason sat down and had a drink of soda, watching her slay the Heartless without trouble.

With the deck open to exploration, Sheila went about and destroyed boxes and barrels that held nothing important. The two ran to the keel where a rope sloped all the way up a mast. Sheila held Mason's hand and raced up the rope with excellent balance. They got atop a pole, and from there Sheila could jump and tail-glide to a rope hanging from the top of the center mass. (Mason had his own means of gliding, but not in polite company. ;P) From this top, the two could grind down a rope stretching across the sea and ending on a buoy. More buoys composed this part of the sea.

"Aye, Mason, Ay say this place is good for a swim. Will ya join me?" Sheila jumped in the sea and began the swim, so Mason happily joined.

The _Jaws_ music played as a blue shark named Snacker swum after them. "Sniff, sniff. Snacker smells tasty raccoon treat."

"Yipe! Sheila, jump on that bobby thing!" Mason pointed at said "bobby thing" (a buoy), and they made it onto it before Snacker could dine. (I mean snack. Otherwise he'd be Diner. :P) The shark hungrily circled their platform. "Ugh, he won't leave. But this will make him!" Mason crouched, aimed his rear at Snacker, and farted weaker Gas Bombs. Wincing at the stench, the shark retreated. "Haha! Sheila, you ever think about shooting Light Balls this way?"

"Mason, why did we ask the author to cut my poisonbending?"

"I know…" The two continued swimming from buoy to buoy, with Mason having to fart Gas Eggs whenever Snacker attacked. There was an even farther buoy with a Catch Card on it, so the kids took a moment to catch breath and made the risky swim, using tail propeller and farts to go faster. They reached the buoy before Snacker could bite Mason's feet. The Catch Card contained a red squirrel in a blue shirt named Conker.

"Ooo, another squirrel!" Conker smiled. "Wait…" He frowned. "Oh, no, those are way too small. You must be 14 or somethin'."

"Ah'm a raccoon, ya dingo." Sheila snapped, giving the card to Mason. They swam back to the main buoys and made it to the final one. A huge submarine surfaced in the distance and launched Torpedo Teds. The kids skipped across the Teds like they were playing Hopscotch. The hull of the submarine was slippery, but Sheila moved her feet fast enough to get them on top. Hearty Wrenches (Heartless Rocky Wrenches) popped out of holes and quickly hurled their namesake tools.

After Sheila took her time destroying the Heartless, another earthquake rumbled the world. "WAAAAAH!" They gawked when a group of ships burst out of the sea and threatened to crush them. Sheila imbued her feet with light again and performed terrific leaps from ship to ship, and Mason cried as he flailed from her arm like blowing laundry. This dangerous route was bringing them to the largest ship of all, raising black sails with a three-headed skull. The Sunny Fist landed on the sea and dashed across the surface, sidestepping to evade Sharpedos.

"Hold your lunch, Mason! It's gonna be a bumpy landing!" She spun her tail and took flight, the wind rushing past as they soared over the ship.

"Whoa…" Mason wasn't expecting what they saw: the ship was a sailing stadium, and the stands were filled with roaring, drinking pirates.

"Blimey, it's some sorta show! Let's see if we can be part of it!"

"Good idea, Sheila! By using reverse psychology, maybe we won't turn out to be part of the SHOOOOWW!" They went in with a nosedive, and Sheila brushed along the floor of the arena before forcing her sandals against it and skidding toward the edge of the moat. (End song.)

"ZEE HAA HAA HAAAAA!" A chubby Pirate Emperor roared from his throne booth. "What an entrance, WHAT AN ENTRANCE! Lasses and mateys, introducing the star of this show, the main attraction: the Sunny Fist Sheila Frantic!"

"Reverse psychology backfired." Mason moaned.

"Bloody hell! This world knew my name faster than **I** did!"

"Sheila, it's him again! It's Blackbeard!"

"CORRECT! I am Marshall D. Teach, the Pirate King BLACKBEARD! Conqueror of over 100 pirate worlds! These people are my loyal subjects! I promised them all a land where they could sail free and HERE WE ARE! Captain Barbossa, Captain Hook, Captain Blackeye, Blackbeard from the Caribbean Dimension, Blackbeard from Never Land, Blackbeard from the Xiaolin Realms, Blackbeard from the Assassin's Creed Dimension—wow, I'm really popular. Ahem, throw in the other contestants!"

"OAF!" "OW!" Chris, Aurora, and Haruka were tossed in the ring by a huge, muscular Mexican wrestler.

"What a pathetic little crew she has!" Jesus Burgess grinned evilly.

"Guys?!" Mason questioned their being here.

"We got jumped by a blue-haired guy in a cloak." Haruka explained.

"Aurora called me, but when I tried to save them, that Mexican guy got me." Chris followed.

"Behold, my scallywag subjects, for these children believe to be the heroes who can defeat the invincible Lord English! Are they truly worthy of their hype?! Only this battle royal will tell! Because IF they don't battle, they get to watch one of their own get SQUASHED!"

"What does that mean?!" Aurora shouted.

Xehanort appeared from a dark portal, holding a handcuffed Kirie Beatles. "KIRIE!"

"That's playing dirty, ya fat pile of DOG MEAT!" Sheila snapped.

"Oh, you don't know two-thirds of it!" Teach smirked. "So, will you fight?! Or should I kill her RIGHT NOW?!" He raised a Tremor Fist above Kirie.

"NO! !" Chris screamed. "WE'LL FIGHT!"

"YEH, JUST SAVE YOUR FISTS FOR ME!" Sheila yelled.

"Ze ha ha ha! I just knew you would agree! All right… send in the first fighter! Hailing from the Funtom Dimension, he's a talented butler of the Phantomhive Manor, Black Butler Sebastian Michaelis!"

A man in a black attire with smooth black hair, complimented by sharp red eyes stepped into the arena. "A butler? Seriously?" Chris smirked wryly.

"I'm no mere butler, dear boy." Sebastian spoke charmingly. "I'm simply one _hell_ of a butler."

"You're simply a waste of time!" Sheila shot a Light Sphere, but Sebastian zipped up and punched her across the ring.

"Sheila! Grrrr!" Chris punched fire fists, but Sebastian easily dodged and jabbed fingers to blast him away as well. "That's it!" He went Combustion Fury and rocketed for the butler, throwing punches that he evaded, but then Sebastian grabbed the flaming fists and pushed with equal force. Chris shot quick Heat Vision and burned Sebastian's eyes, then he carried the butler up, burned like a comet, and CRASHED him into the arena floor. Chris bit Sebastian's neck with sharpened teeth, punched him rapidly, then kicked him across the field with a flaming boot.

"CHRIS, calm down!" Aurora touched him with icy hands and steamed Chris's fire. "Don't lose control!"

"Oh, my…" Sebastian weakly stood up. "It seems I'm not the only demon here. How very… interesting." He smiled. "I concede from this match."

"WHAT?!" Teach shouted. "Now, wait just a sec! If you want your master returned in one piece, you give us a battle worth the berries they paid!"

"Oh, who are you trying to deceive? I overheard your cohorts saying that you lost all your cards. I shall seek out my master now. It was an honor to entertain you." Sebastian leaped out of the arena as though he were flying.

"Siiiigh…" Teach pinched his nose bridge. "Bane, Burgess, get in there!"

"BWEEEE HEH HEH!" The Mexican wrestler who caught them jumped in with a smaller Mexican wrestler with green pipes in his back. "You must think I'm a JOKE, ordering me to break children, Teach!"

"BREAK THEM!" Bane and Burgess charged in, so Chris and Aurora combined their powers, became a torpedo, and drilled into Burgess' chest.

Mason distracted Bane by flying his soda cans at him, prompting Bane to chase while Haru jumped on his back. "This is a weird contraption." she said, observing the pack connecting the toxic pipes. "I hope this isn't too hazardous." Haruka broke the pipes, and when Bane stopped and tried to reach her, she stuck her fingers in his neck to implant her antibodies.

Burgess punched down at Aurora, who dodged and froze his fist to the ground, then Chris rocketed against his face twice. Sheila grabbed Burgess' head with giant Light Fists, pulled him against the floor, then Chris and Aurora flew high above and stamped the back of his head with fire and ice heels.

"COME ON, Burgess, you're stronger than that!" Teach yelled. "Are you letting these brats make a joke out of you?!"

"Agh… these kids are… stronger than they look."

"You BET WE AH!" Sheila cheered. "Come down here and SEE how tough I am!"

"That's it, new rule you brats! All of you but Sheila get out of the arena! We'll see just how strong you are!"

After the kids complied with his demand, 10 Anti Guys and 10 Amazy Dayzees charged into the arena. Sheila faced up at the sun and spun her arms, shining wheels of light, and as she zoomed around the field, a trail of these light wheels was left in her wake. She halted, grabbed her Keyblade, and directed all the wheels into the powerful enemies. They were still standing, so Sheila formed two giant Light Fists and batted them off the ring.

Twenty Mega Raichu scampered into the ring, lightning bolts all over their sparking bodies. They all struck lightning at Sheila, but she caught it all on the tip of her Keyblade, a ball of energy growing from it. "EAT YOUR OWN SPARKS!" She fired a powerful beam and blew all the Raichu against the wall. "Grrrr, this is really pissing me off, Blackbore!"

"Ze ha ha ha ha! You're amazing, Sunny Fist Sheila! It's clear that these clowns are beneath you! You'd be an excellent addition to my crew. Why don't we stop this petty battle and I'll take you on an adventure through the multiverse? We'll be the ultimate crew, unstoppable! So many new things to see, for the rest of eternity we will sail! It's what you want greater than anything, isn't it?!"

"Are you bonkers, mate? I'll go on me OWN adventure through the multiverse before I go with you! And I'll take all me mates, too!"

"Oh, I think not, Sheila. A strong captain like you must have a strong crew to serve her! And little weaklings like this brat make you look pathetic!" Teach stomped toward Kirie.

"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT HER!" Sheila fumed.

"I'm a liar, Sheila, ALL pirates are liars! ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MATIES?!"

 _"YAAAARRRR!"_ roared the audience.

"A show isn't exciting unless SOMEONE DIES!" Blackbeard raised his Tremor Fist above Kirie, who shut her eyes in terror.

At the speed of light, Sheila zipped up to Teach's throne and PUNCHED him down to the arena, his blubbery body bouncing three times and denting a crater with each. "YOOOOOOWCH ouch ouch ouch!" He rolled around desperately to shake the pain off.

"YUH!" Sheila ripped off Kirie's cuffs. "You orright, Kirie?" She smiled and nodded. "Good! Now if ya'll excuse me." She jumped back to the arena. "Why don't we give these blokes a REAL show?! A feisty little sheila sockin' the jaw out of a walrus, they'll laugh their false teeth off!"

"Ze ha ha! If that's how you want to play, Sheila! Let's see how much you TRULY resemble Straw Hat! !" (Play "K. Rool Battle" from _Donkey Kong 64_!)

 _Boss fight: Marshall D. Teach_

Sheila spun twin Light Fists and hurled them at Teach, who absorbed them in a black hole and spat them back. Sheila grabbed the fists again and dodged when Teach leapt forward, but she was bounced into the air by the pirate's shockwave. Sheila used this moment to spin around and charge a Light Kick, but Teach was quick to grab her foot, cancel the power, and slam Sheila into the floor. The captain leapt in an attempt to smash her, but Sheila recovered in time to evade and jump to prevent the shockwave from bouncing her.

Blackbeard used Dark Lungs – his mouth became a black hole as he began to suck Sheila in like a vacuum. Using superior speed, Sheila ran from the suction, which lasted for 10 seconds before Teach got tired. Sheila seized his weak moment to rush up and kick him in the crotch, resulting in Teach hacking spit out, followed by a storm of lightspeed punches across his face. Sheila then leapt behind for a mighty kick that sent Teach forward and on his belly. Sheila ran to pounce on his back and let loose another round of punches, but Teach suddenly flipped and smashed her underneath.

The emperor got up and grabbed the flattened Faunus, spinning around before chucking Sheila over the edge. She slowed her descent with her tail and started swinging her feet, building momentum so she could skid along the water. She ran circles around the ring, until she finally made a great leap to attack her adversary, only for Blackbeard to throw a Dark Sphere and knock her back toward the edge. "Ze ha ha ha ha! You're just like Luffy! All he knew how to do was punch and kick! But at least HE could STRETCH!"

"And you think I don't?!" Sheila smirked. She leapt up on her feet and spun, her tail attached to a long stream of light that whipped out of the water around the ring. Teach turned to follow this stream, but was WHACKED by the end on Sheila's side, who then proceeded to flip in midair to smash Teach under the Light Tail. With that, Sheila spun her left foot for some power, leapt over the captain again, and stamped his face to dent a head-size crater in the floor.

Teach caught his breath as he got back up, Sheila's sandal indented in his face. "Don't you understand, Sheila?! You were bound for so much more than that measly crew of yours! We BOTH are! A whole multiverse, a whole eternity of endless adventures, what more would you want?!"

"I want a universe that ain't bein' ripped apart by some green Hulk ripoff and his loser CREW! My place is unduh the SUN! Not your filthy black holes!"

"Then I guess I have no choice but to up my game. XEHANORT!"

Sector V looked to the top of Blackbeard's throne. The Keyblade Master raised his weapon skyward, shooting a ray of darkness into the sky. Before long, the sun was blot out by dark clouds. "ERRRRRRAH!" A dark aura surrounded Blackbeard. He raised his Tremor Fists and SLAMMED the floor, raining a storm of dark orbs. Sheila ran and nimbly dodged the orbs, but a sandal broke and she slipped. "Ow!" An orb struck her, but Sheila got up in time to dodge the last few. "Meh. Bloody things slow me down." Sheila kicked off the other sandal, charging light in her feet to zip behind and kick Blackbeard's butt.

"GYUH!" Teach retaliated by whipping around and punching Sheila in the head, sending her across the ring and into the water. Sheila quickly resurfaced and jumped back on, but the blow left a stinging pain in her noggin. Sheila spun her arms into Light Wheels, but her arms got tired and the wheels faded. "Zehahahaha! You drew power from the sun, but in the darkness you're powerless!" Teach charged both Tremor Fists and ran at Sheila, but she whipped out her Keyblade as she performed a stylish flip over her adversary.

Sheila channeled light into her Keyblade and shot a beam of light at Teach. When she tried to cast the light skyward, Xehanort fired another dark beam to block it. "That jerk needs to BACK OFF!" Chris Uno flew up to Xehanort with Rocket Boost, punching fireballs that the master blocked. Chris landed and threw kicks at the elder, but when those failed, Chris flew back and blasted Combustion Beam. The roof exploded, but Xehanort surfed up into the air on a stream of Keyblades. He thrusted his own up and struck lightning at Chris, followed by freezing the boy's body up to his head. Chris crashed on the roof and grunted, "What are you, some kinda Avatar?"

Xehanort chuckled. "I packed a CRAP ton of Ethers."

Sheila sprouted up spires of light with her Keyblade and cast them at Teach, who tried to withstand the attacks, but was steadily pushed back. "Graaah!" Teach whipped out his own Keyblade, which was black with white crescent (Whitebeard) teeth, and a three-headed skull for a Keychain. He used the Keyblade to counter Sheila's light spires. "I think I need some fresh air!" Teach waved his Keyblade around, and a ship flew overhead and dropped an anchor. Teach grabbed on and let it pull him up.

A fleet of small ships flew over the arena and began to rain cannonballs. Explosions everywhere, the arena was engulfed in flames. "You must be pretty mad… if ya think this can slow me down!" Sheila raised her Keyblade and cast a spell on herself. Pure light flowed within her feet and her eyes, granting her a better perception of the speed of the world around her. Things moved in slow motion, including the cannonballs. "Heh…" Grinning excitedly, Sheila began to leap from ball to ball, making her way all the way up to Teach's boat. She set foot on the deck behind the captain, and after a few moments, she disabled her power.

"Zah?" Teach turned, surprised to find her there. "Ze ha ha! You continue to surprise me, Raccoon!"

Sheila merely smirked. It took a moment, but the five dozen Keyblade strikes she landed on Teach during that time began to kick in, cuts and scratches appearing on all sides of his fat form. Sheila finished by spinning her foot and kicking Teach off the ship. The pirate spun on his descent, but Sheila went in for a Ground Pound to send Teach crashing into the arena. She slowed her own descent with her tail and faced Teach again, the captain panting and bleeding as he scowled.

"Grrrrr!" Teach clasped the ground and spread darkness to both the arena and around the audience, forcing Sheila to send light to her tail and stay airborne. Everyone in the audience was sucked into Teach's darkness, and with that, it all retracted back into him. "BLAAAAAH!" Teach's stomach opened into a black hole that fired every last audience member at Sheila. She either dodged or blocked with her Keyblade, but the flying people began to overwhelm and hit her, knocking Sheila off the ring.

Sheila climbed out again, but slumped on her legs from exhaust. Blackbeard ran for another twin Tremor Fist, but Aurora used Rocket Boost to swoop down, grab her teammate, and fly up to the stadium roof. Haruka was there, extracting a syringe of orange liquid from her sleeve. "A healthy dose of Vitamin C will make you feel better." She stuck Sheila with it, and she felt her chi restoring itself.

"Thanks, 'aruka. But I would like the real sun better."

"Whenever Chris gets done up there." Aurora said worriedly.

"Have you had enough, yet?" Xehanort asked the boy in question, who was down on his knees.

"Huff, huff… Forget this." Chris chuckled to himself. "Lend me a hand, Gramps."

 _"Of course, my descendant."_ A red aura surrounded Chris's body. It displayed horns on his head, Chris's eyes shining red and his teeth sharp.

"Yes…YES!" Xehanort beamed. "I knew I felt it! That darkness burning inside you!" He tried to strike Chris, but a sudden BURST of fire blew him back.

Chris charged his Combustion Beam and unleashed it to the dark sky. It exploded like a mini sun, burning the darkness. Sheila used the Keyblade to attract the light, leaping down and running around Teach. Small Light Spheres appeared from her trail and flew into him, pelting him from every direction. An angered Teach charged at Sheila with Tremor Fists, so she spun Light Fists and made them three times their size. With that, she turned on Teach and let both pairs of fists impact. "AAAAaaahh…" Sheila's knuckles turned red and sore, but she survived the attack.

Teach smacked her away again. "I'm beginning to think this isn't a solo job after all! Boys, it's time to show yourselves!" Sheila watched as Blackbeard's arms and legs turned into claws, crouching like a dog as he grew in size, formed a tail, turned black, and finally grew two extra heads, with all three growing sharp fangs.

 _"He's a freaking CERBERUS?!"_ Demon Chris exclaimed.

 _"That's RIGHT, brats! In the same place I found my Pyrameglyph, I found the Dog-Dog Fruit, Model: Cerberus!_

 _"My two extra heads were able to eat their own Devil Fruits! This one ate the Dark-Dark Fruit, while the third one absorbed the Tremor-Tremor Fruit!"_ the other head followed.

 _"I am the ultimate Devil Fruit user: a Zoan, a Paramecia, AND a Logia!_

 _"AND IT'S TIME WE USED OUR TRUE POWER!"_ The Keyblade formed in the third head's mouth, using it to charge power to the whole body. The Cerberus pushed up off its front paws, imbued with the Tremor Fists, and quaked the arena more furiously than before. It did it once more, and on the third time, Blackbeard caused the very atmosphere to ripple and crack… quite literally, in fact.

The very map that was Treasuria ripped in the part where the battle was transpiring. The area ripped into pieces, drifting in a hyperspace. _"Let's see if the sun can reach you in THIS place!"_ Teach gnashed his three heads at Sheila, but when she ran, the dog spat homing dark balls. She spun two more big Light Fists and hurled them, only for Teach to deflect them with the Keyblade. The Cerberus did a spin attack that knocked Sheila over, then he grabbed her by the tail in one of his teeth. Teach furiously swung her around before Sheila used Midas Body to burn his teeth and escape.

"SHEILA!" Mason screamed. He and his friends were floating on scattered pieces of the arena. "She's getting creamed up there!"

"Sheila can handle herself, right? I mean, she did with Big Mom." Aurora figured.

"Only when she had an unhealthy overdose of sugar." Haruka replied.

Mason gasped. "Sigh… I was afraid it might not have to come to this… but I've been saving something for Sheila." He reached in his sweater pocket and grabbed a gold soda can with a sun image.

"THE SUNNY FLURP?!" Haruka screamed. "You actually broke into the factory and stole it?! In case you forgot, they locked it up for being extremely saturated!"

"It gets better than that, Haruka. I convinced Augustus to steal it… and we added a few drops of Everbubble Fizz."

"WHAT?! ? Mason, Sheila could DIE if she drinks that!"

"She'll die to Blackbeard if she gets too exhausted. I'm sure she'll survive… after all, she's freaking overpowered."

"Sigh…" Aurora was unsure of this plan, but she complied. "I'll take you to her." She flew over to Mason with Rocket Boost and grabbed him.

Sheila evaded Teach's teeth with lightspeed and punched him in the gut, followed by kicking him to a ripped piece of the map that had the audience stands. The captain waved his Keyblade again and summoned a larger ship to crash through Sheila's foothold keel-first. Sheila leapt and grabbed the keel as it crashed through, using Light Feet to run up the vertical ship. She saw Blackbeard look down at her from the back end of the ship, and when she was ready to clash Keyblades, Teach channeled his Tremor power into his enlarged Keyblade and struck her with superior force.

Sheila blew through several scattered pieces of the ship before splashing in some water. Teach then commanded more ships to bombard her with cannonballs, and Sheila floated exhaustedly on her sliver of ocean. "SHEILA!" Mason and Aurora made it to her. "Sheila, drink this!" He held out the forbidden soda.

"SUNNY FLURP?!" Sheila yelped. "But… Mason… do ya really think I'm ready to behold such power?"

 _"GET OUT OF MY WAY! !"_ Blackbeard pounced forth to feast on the children, one for each head.

"You can do it, Sheila… I know you can."

"…" Sheila nodded and took the Sunny Flurp. She cracked it open and drunk away. _! ! ! ! !_ (End song.)

At that moment, every ounce of her mind and body was opened to a whole new world. Her body evolved to a force that was even faster than light. Around her, billions and billions of tiny orbs were moving slowly. Were they fairies? Were they fireflies? No… they were particles of light, generated by the sun. She took one in her fingers, smiling with wonder. Yet, everything else – the waves, the cannonballs, the people, were frozen in time.

Blackbeard's teeth were a second away from biting them. Sheila looked around at all the scattered pieces of the map. She began to swim freely, grab these pieces by the edges, and bring them back together like a puzzle. She only knew which pieces went together since the soda heightened her thinking, too. She reconfigured enough of the arena so she would have a better time focusing. She then carried her friends to a safe spot away from Teach. So with that, Sheila used her Keyblade like a vacuum, flying around and absorbing every light particle that was within range. This caused this entire area, for a brief second, to be swallowed in darkness until more light came. And then, Sheila began to mold all this light into a ginormous fist.

With this fist, Sheila grabbed Cerberus Teach by a head and hurled him partway up. She then whirled and whirled and whirled the fist, positioned it to aim directly up, and fired it like a cannon. Blackbeard Teach was sent flying beyond the atmosphere. That's when time returned to normal for Sheila. The speed blew the fiery clouds away and revealed the sunny sky again.

"Gh-!" Mason flinched when they were suddenly in the arena. "What… just happened?! I gave Sheila the soda and we just warped! Hu- SHEILA!" He saw his friend lying down.

 _"That soda was… bloody amazing."_ She gasped.

 **Paradox Space**

 _"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh…"_ A golden comet hurled across the realm, catching fire as it did.

 _"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH…!"_ Blackbeard's Cerberus body was flat against the fist, absorbing the full force of the flame.

When Wendy looked up from the _Noah_ 's deck, she spotted something. "Look, everyone! That sun looks like it's growing!"

"It's not growing!" Sugar yelled. "It's getting closer! MOVE!" Everybody ran inside before the humongous fist collided with the invincible ship.

A terrific explosion of light engulfed the _Noah_. It was so bright that Wendy would have to cast Sunshade Spells on all her friends to rid them of blindness. When everyone came to, they saw what had crashed on their deck. Marshall D. Teach, having reverted to human form, was a bloody mess. "Graaah… this universe is… more batshit crazy… than mine." His Keyblade vanished.

"Hm hm hm." Nebula giggled. She recognized that golden fist. "It looks like… they defeated another one. Way to go, Sheila."

"Another Darkness defeated?!" Wendy beamed. "That's amazing! Now there's only 10 to go!

"Astounding." Carla said. "If one of our friends did that… the universe is going to be hectic when this is over."

 **Treasuria**

"Cough…cough…" Sheila was still down. "I did it… mates…"

Mason caught a card that drifted down from Blackbeard's coat. It depicted Jack Sparrow. "Hehe! Neat find! …Sheila!" He and the others ran to her aid. "Can you stand up?"

"Ergh… My bones ain't used to that speed… but they'll be apples after a few kips. Well, not literal apples, more like… gold or something. I can't think of a good—ARRGH!"

"SHEILA!" they cried when a Keyblade stabbed her. It was thrown by Xehanort from the throne's roof. The blade returned to his possession as a bright light flew out of Sheila's chest and up to him.

"A heart of pure light…" Xehanort held his hand below it. "Yet… there is the tiniest hint of darkness. Perhaps it is to your liking… Davy Jones."

Mountains of waves rose over the ship and blocked the sun. Davy Jones stood at the top, commanding the waves like a true king of the sea. "It can't be!" Haruka yelled. "Melody said she defeated him!"

"You kids will be disappointed to learn that Thanos has brought Jones back to life." Xehanort responded. "And his desires have changed."

He passed Sheila's heart up to the Heartless Captain. He gently took Sheila's heart and absorbed it in his tentacles. "Melody _did_ open my heart… and that tiny ounce of light warmed mine. I _will_ drown the universe in despair… and I will devour every heart of light until my darkness fades."

"We thank you for wearing Sheila out so that her heart was weak." Xehanort said. "Bill will be happy to know we've slain one of the Seven." He vanished into darkness, so Jones proceeded to drop the great waves and drown everyone remaining.

 _"GRAVITY BOMB!"_ An explosion from an unseen source caused the waves to remain afloat, dividing into droplets. A ship flew through the waves and used an attraction beam to bring the kids onboard. Jones watched in spite as they made their escape, seeing the logo _IDA_ painted on the vessel.

"Sheila! Sheila, wake up!" Mason shook his friend, but her vibrant blue eyes were half-closed and dull. He touched her chest and felt a heartbeat. "She's alive, but…"

"What is this place?" Chris asked, looking around.

"You're on an IDA Transport Vessel." a voice said from the pilot's seat. The hands working the controls had six-fingers. "Howdy! The name's Stanford Pines." The seat turned, revealing a man with a big nose and brown jacket. "Tell me, do you kids know a girl named Kimaya?"

"Kimaya?" Haruka replied. "She's a friend of ours."

"Hold on, did you say 'IDA'?" Aurora asked. "We were sent to find you!"

"Well, what a coincidence! We came to this universe to locate YOU kids… until someone lost control of the wheel."

"I TOLD you I wasn't a helmsman!" a teenage boy in a straw hat retorted, picking his nose.

"Never trust a Monkey to work inter-dimensional traveling technology." Ford said.

"I see you are acquainted with Xehanort." A yellow-haired man with a red cape and goatee walked in. "He has taken this girl's heart."

"Will she become a Heartless?!" Haru shouted.

"It is possible… though, her body would be disappearing."

"The trolls said you people had a way to beat the Darknesses." Chris recapped. "So, do you?"

"Yes. We have created something that should help. Please, in here."

The man, Ansem the Wise, led them to the back of the vessel. There were three more men: Kisuke Urahara, who wore a green-striped bucket hat, a dark-green jacket, and a pair of geta; Silvers Rayleigh, who had grey hair, glasses, shorts, and tan skin; and Kakashi Utake, a silver-haired ninja with a green pocket vest. They were in front of a large green, glass chamber. "They call us the Geek Squad." Ford said after introducing them all.

"It's Rayleigh!" Chris recognized. "The man who trained Maddy!"

"Who?" Rayleigh cocked a brow. "How do you know my name?"

"I thought that was a Zoni disguised as that guy." Mason recalled.

"These children already seem to know more than we do." Kakashi figured.

"What's that big room?" Aurora asked.

"When the IDA rescued us from our crumbling worlds, they asked us to construct this chamber using special materials." Kisuke answered. "This Prison Chamber was suited with Seaprism, Sekkiseki, chi-blocks, anti-magic, anti-ecto, and all kinds of material that render any and all kinds of power, no matter how massive, completely useless."

"It can even prevent Keyblade wielders from calling their weapon." Ansem said. "Indeed, this may be the single strongest cell in the entire multiverse. It will be perfect to detain those scoundrels."

"It completely cancels the powers of anything in this cell?" repeated Aurora. "Maybe it could even get rid of the protection charms around the Darknesses' Keyblades!"

"This cell isn't completely invincible, however." Kisuke mentioned. "Godly powers like those of Lord English won't be repressed."

"As long as it contains the other Darknesses, we'll be okay."

"Is there any way we can help Sheila?" Mason asked.

"If we can recover her stolen heart, we can revive her." Ansem answered. "You should keep her safe for now."

 _"This is Nebula calling Sector V."_ Her image appeared on Aurora's wristwatch. _"Can anyone explain to me why a giant golden fist crashed onto the_ Noah _'s deck?"_

"Oh! Hehe! Sorry, Nebula!" Aurora grinned.

"Perfect time to test it out. Let's find them and imprison Teach." Chris stated.

"Test it on Blackbeard?" Rayleigh cocked a brow. "Should be simple enough."

"Luckily, you kids managed to wear him down." Kisuke said. "Otherwise, we couldn't just make them waltz into this cell. Think you can keep it up with the rest of them?"

"We sure hope so…" Chris sighed. For a brief moment, the Darkness count was down to 10. But with Jones back, it was back at 11. Of course, since the Darknesses could casually bring their members back to life, detaining them in an unbreachable cell was the next best option.

* * *

 **I've been planning the Geek Squad for a long while. XD So many crossovers in this chapter, where to begin. But hey, first time a Darkness actually fought a Light.**


	10. Sleepy Sneak

**I got a whole bunch of anime shirts for Christmas!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-10: Sleepy Sneak_**

 **Hivebent**

"Aaauuugh…" Blackbeard awoke in a daze. He was locked in a green glass cell with many eyes viewing him like a caged animal. He recognized one. "Ze ha ha ha… Silvers Rayleigh. What a surprise to see you here."

"I could say the same thing, Teach… but you're actually the least-surprising thing I've seen lately."

"So, this cell…" Wendy studied the chamber. "It can really disable any power?"

"Any supernatural power, yes." Kisuke nodded. "But that's only if you're inside it. We'll keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't escape."

Teach tried to breach the glass with his Tremor Fist, but touching it made him weary. "Zeeee… why go to this much trouble when you can kill me?"

"HE HAS A POINT." Karkat stated. "Even if the Protection Seal on the Keyblade is erased, Blackbeard still has a fragment of Lord English inside him."

"Thanos brought Davy Jones to life," Aurora reminded, "which means he could bring other Darknesses to life. We should keep Blackbeard alive and in here."

"Besides, the IDA wishes to keep _these_ Darknesses alive." Kakashi mentioned. "They hope that, once this is all over, the worlds will be restored and everyone can go back to their natural lives."

"I get it." Wendy replied. "Some of the Darknesses were from our world, while others are from Original Worlds. They were just kind of dragged into this, weren't they?"

"I think ALL of us were dragged into this." Karkat inferred. "Let's leave Teach to his misery and discuss our next plan."

They had released their Catch Cards and, without providing much explanation of these events, told the new guests to make their selves as comfortable as they could, and to try and make friends. Luffy and Usopp were glad to see each other, Gajeel and Amethyst were arguing—there was so much conversation that it was getting on Karkat's nerves. "LOUD MOUTH MULTI-DIMENSIONAL NITWITS!"

"It's not like they have anything else to do." Haruka said.

"I can't believe Davy Jones is back AGAIN!" Melody clasped her hair. "I'm sick of being the Ocean Princess!"

"Yeah, whaddo we do about that Thanos jerk?" Anthony questioned. "We'll never get anywhere if he brings them back to life."

"wwhat wwe must do first is keep Emera from explodin." Eridan explained. "unfortunately, Thanos is the only one keeping it in control, but his rash demeanor wwill not last long. And if Thanos is destroyed, Emera wwill explode nonetheless. It is a crisis…"

"I'm sure Karkitty knows a solution!" :33 Nepeta huggled her leader.

Karkat pushed her off. "We already contacted the Keyblade girl to fly to Emera. She can use her Keyblade to seal Emera's heart and block Thanos' access to the Ether. But to completely stabilize the Ether, we need two Firstborn: Diancie and Crest."

"'kay, but how do we get rid of Thanos?" Anthony asked. "You know, the most powerful Darkness with an over a million Power Level?"

"S1L3NC3, SM3LLY D1RT P3RSON!" Terezi bonked his head with her walking stick. "1 SM3LL 4NSW3RS 4RR1V1NG! BUT F1RST, YOU MUST GO B4CK TO OR3. G3T FOUR CUB3S OF P3RM4N1T3."

"And what about Crest, should we call Sector RZ?" Chris followed.

"There lies the problem." Karkat said. "Crest has fallen into enemy hands."

 **Quahog, Rhode Island?**

"Nnnnhh…" Dillon woke up on a sunny sidewalk in a familiar neighborhood. In the distance, he saw the treehouse that belonged to Sector Q. "I'm in… Quahog…" He looked forward and saw his house. "I… How did I get here? Everything went black for a minute and…"

"DILLON, you made it!" Leanne Grayson jumped him from behind with a hug.

"Carol!" Dillon gasped. "I-I mean, Leanne! W-What…"

"Ha ha ha! I knew you would get our voices confused!"

"You're unusually peppy for someone who was… killed."

"Killed? Come on, silly, none of our friends ever die. Let's go inside, we're late for the party."

"Party?" Dillon was pulled into his own house by Leanne.

 _"SURPRIIIISE!"_ Sector V, the Murphys, and Dillon's parents jumped out. Streamers descended, there was Batman cake, and the banner read, as Chris pointed out-

"To the Best Operative on the Planet!"

He blinked in shock. "B-Best operative?! Who?"

"You, dummy." Leanne flicked his head. "You lead a counterstrike against the biggest attack the Brotherhood's ever pulled and you just forget?"

"His ego's bigger than Dad's." Chris said wryly. "Poor man just can't help that Mr. York's son turned up more famous than we did."

"Not that we're ashamed or anything." Aurora smiled. "It honestly feels like a break."

"I thought Mr. Uno was…" Dillon was about to say. "Wait a second… what about the Thirteen Darknesses? What about Lord Eng-"

"What's he talking about?" Haruka cocked a brow.

"Poor baby." Danika ruffled her son's hair. "He slept for 12 hours after that battle. You must've had a heck of a dream."

"I remember when Darkrai made me think Dillon and Corey died." Nolan said. "I oughta tell him to lighten up on us."

"But it wasn't a dream!" Dillon insisted. "There was CP10, a-and the Apocalypse—we spent three years on a…"

"Sheesh, lighten up." Carol stated. "It was all just a bad dream, Dillon. Can't you just forget it?"

"…I…" Dillon rubbed his forehead. "I don't even remember most of it… Maybe it _was_ just a dream."

"SWEET, internal dilemma solved, let's have some cake." Vanellope announced.

"He he he! Not a bad idea!" Dillon walked up to the table- "Huh?"

The Batman cake had turned into… Midna. She was rolled up and sleeping. "First cut is yours, Bud!" Mason encouraged.

"What? This isn't cake, this is Midna!"

"Did Midna eat the cake? Siiiigh…" Danika shook her head in disbelief. "Wake her up and get her off the table."

"NO, Dillon, don't wake up Midna, she's asleep!" Vanellope pulled him back.

"She has a bedroom, just carry her to that. She'll mess up all the food." Nolan argued.

"Nuh-uh! I really think we should let her sleep." Vanel restated. "Don't you think, Dillon?"

"You want cake, don't you, Dillon?" Leanne asked.

"I-I…I dunno!"

 **Reality**

Dillon was actually on a world with a bright orange horizon. The sides of their bodies opposite the sun were pitch-black. "Wake up the Firstborn…" Madara softly ordered, using Mangekyō Sharingan. His strange eye seemed to be depicted up in the sky. "Find her Chamber… Awaken her…"

 _"Dillon, listen to the little voice inside your earpiece!"_ Vanellope's voice squeaked from the tiny piece. _"Don't listen to that loser! I don't care if you act like a zombie, as long as you DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! DON'T wake up MIDNA!"_

"I don't think I should… wake Midna up, yet."

"You must wake Midna." Madara ordered again. "Midna must join us…"

"Besides, Dillon, Crest wants to see her again!" Diwata told him in the dreamscape. "He wants to spend time with her! But he can't do it unless she wakes up.

"Dillon, wake Midna up." a brainwashed Diwata told him in the real world. "The party's not the same without Midna."

 _"Buzz off, Moon Girl! That's it, time to call in special assistance!"_ Vanellope glitched into Dillon's communicator.

 **Paradox Space**

Sector JP and Team Sandman traced Dillon to a region bathed in sunset. The light sparkled on the Galactic Sea and bounced off the planets. "Yow… Nolan, you thinking what I'm thinking?" Yuki asked.

"That this is the kind of place Midna would be." he replied. "That must be why Aizen brought Dillon here."

"Incoming transmission from Vanellope!" Carol announced.

 _"Wattup, fellas! Vanellope speaking! Do ya still hear well?"_

"Hold on, let me get my hearing aid." Nolan answered.

 _"Save the jokes for later, Dad, Dillon's in danger! That Madara guy put him under some sort of mind-control. He's trying to force Dillon to find Midna's Egg Chamber."_

"Madara, huh? Then he must be using the Mangekyō Sharingan." Carol figured.

"Mangekyō Sharingan?!" Nolan exclaimed. "I… have NO idea what that is."

"I researched as much about these Darknesses as I could and saved notes on my computer." Carol brought the article up. "Madara was a legendary ninja who underwent a resurrection almost 23 years ago. His eyes become something called a Sharingan that can put people in a trance called Genjutsu. He could merge his eyes with the moon and throw everybody in the world into a dream world befitting their preferences."

 _"So, when I saw that weird eye thingy up in the sky, that was the moon?"_ Vanel asked.

"It sounds like Madara's controlling Dillon through his dreams." Nolan deduced. "And if he's using the moon, we'll be trapped in a dream if we get under it."

"You're thinking of using it, aren't you?" Yuki inquired.

"If Madara fights with dreams, then we can only fight _back_ with dreams." Nolan drew the glowing green gem. "If I can find Dillon in the Dream World, maybe I can break Madara's control."

"You sure it'll be that easy?" Carol asked. "Have you done this before?"

"Not this particular situation… but first, I'm gonna need some help."

"HEADS UP!" Yuki yelped—a fleet of Heartless ships spawned out of hyperspace and began shooting.

"Time to go!" Nolan announced. "We need to find Jessie if we're gonna pull this off."

"We'll hold them off, you go on ahead!" Karin shouted, blasting Ecto Rays at Heartless.

 _"Be back soon, please!"_ Ururu shrunk to fly-size and pierced through enemy ships like a blazing bullet.

"We'll bring more backup when we get back!" Carol assured as the Sandmobile flew away.

 ** _King Dutchman_**

Ganondorf walked out of a dark portal in Bill's office. "Got your butt kicked by the Hero of Time already?" Bill cocked a brow.

"It seems that a third party wanted to interfere." Ganon said. "A strange being in white clothing."

"Lord English foresaw his arrival. You shouldn't be surprised, Ganon; I'm sure you know who it was."

Ganon said nothing and stared off into nothing. He heard the door open behind him as Giovanni walked in with Sephiroth. "So, Giovanni, how was the Egg Chamber? I know it's not a thriving paradise, but I'm sure it had some to offer." Bill smirked.

"The eggs were tightly secured. Yet, I didn't want to exert too much power at the risk of damaging them. It's true that they are Firstborn eggs, and based on the data I collected, they have the potential to be as powerful as the Firstborn who currently exist. But some Kids Next Door operatives discovered us, so I couldn't conduct a more thorough investigation."

"It's obvious the trolls secured the eggs to keep them out of our grasp during this war. Of course, like the Egg Chambers, we don't believe they were created for the sake of combatting us."

"But the Firstborn are proving to be a nuisance." Ganon stated. "Why should we worry about harnessing their power when we can just destroy those eggs AND the 2nd Age Firstborn?"

"Because the Firstborn possess Arceus' chi. Heck, if it wasn't for them, Arceus would be WAY more powerful than he currently is. So, if any of the Firstborn were killed, that chi would go straight back to Arceus, and Lord English doesn't want that. Unfortunately, this works the other way around, too. If Arceus were destroyed in his physical form, _his_ chi would go straight to not only the Firstborn, but the Avatar and Negatar. That's why Lord English isn't giving his all _against_ Arceus. Do you see?"

"But if all this is true, it seems like our enemies have the advantage!" Giovanni argued.

"This is exactly why we need to seize the Firstborn and take their power for ourselves. You don't need to worry, my loyal ones." Bill smirked. "Even with Teach and Topaz out of commission, we still bear the advantage. Thanos will continue to revive our fallen comrades, and once Xehanort accomplishes what I tasked him, we can safely destroy Arceus without consequence!"

 **Hivebent**

Sheila was lain on a pile of plushies in Terezi's room, eyes half-open still. "Don't you have a more comfortable bed?" Mason asked.

"NO! NOW SHUT UP 4ND L3T H3R SL33P!"

"Mason's got a point." Haruka replied. "If she's going to be in a coma, we gotta keep her in a more stable position. Otherwise, she'll start walking all funny."

"I just want her to start walking again in general. If we can beat Jones again, will her heart come back?"

"Y3S, 1T SHOULD. BUT 1 SM3LL OLD M4N COLOGN3 ON TH3 _NO4H_."

The vessel in question was parked outside the base. Nebula and Karkat were on the deck, along with Wendy, Sugar, and Jessie. "We're going to have to move the hideout again." Karkat said. "This ship is a big F**KING giveaway."

"We'll go soon." Nebula replied. "But we received a transmission from Mr. York, and he should be arriving soon…"

A small ship splorped out of space and came in for landing on the deck. Sector V hurried outside, realizing it was the Sandmobile. "Carol!" Mason exclaimed.

"MASEEEEEYYY!" The rich girl immediately dashed up and tackled him. "Weirdness Space is so BORING without you, but NO distance will keep us apart!"

"We kind of have a mission, Carol?" Nolan reminded.

"Where's Dillon?" asked Chris.

"That's the problem."

Team Sandman briefed them on the issue regarding Madara and his Genjutsu over Dillon. "And Diwata was there, too." Vanellope mentioned. "It looks like Madara's controlling her, too."

"NO NO NO, don't you see?" Karkat shouted. "There are no moons over Planet Twi, Madara's using CREST to cast his Genjutsu. We were already looking into this before you found them."

"Then YOU must know how to help." Nolan figured.

"Just know that you shouldn't underestimate him. Madara is using a Firstborn, so the best way to counter him is with another Firstborn."

"Like Meloetta?" Sugar wondered.

"No. The only Firstborn that'll work in this case is Midna. Because Midna's left eye is blocked by her helmet, she'll be partially immune to the Genjutsu."

"Then we need to break his control on Dillon first!" Yuki knew.

"That's why we came, we need Jessie's help." Nolan turned to the Indian boy. "Yours and Madotsuki's…"

"Dream missions _are_ my specialty, I suppose." Jessie shrugged. "So, shall we go inside the ship, get under some covers and fall asleep? Do you notice the implications in that sentence?"

"Yyyyes, but… no. I'll meet you in the Dream World in my own way. But first, Yuki, Vanellope, can I speak to you for a minute?"

He led the two away from the others and whispered something. Jessie exchanged a glance with Karkat and raised a brow. "Do you got it?" Nolan asked afterward.

"Of course!" Vanel jumped.

"You can count on us." Yuki nodded.

"Good. I'll see you later, then." Nolan raised the Gem of Dreams, which flashed and morphed him into sand. The sand swirled and flew into Jessie's mind.

". . . . Well, that was ***ked up."

"Just go to sleep, dude!" Vanel told him.

"Oh, yeah! Sector JP was fighting off some enemies when we left." Carol remembered. "They might need back-up."

"Wendy, you wanna go?" Sugar asked.

"Yes, let's help them!"

"In that case, we're setting sail." Nebula decided. "Anything else you need to say, Karkat?"

"Just make sure you get Crest back. We need him to stabilize Emera. And… good luck, I guess."

"Hokay… Time for bed." Jessie said, still feeling weird in the head. "I'm gonna need some f**king bread after this."

 **Dream World; Sponge Dream**

Nolan materialized in a dimension with floating statues of Spongebob characters. Next to him was the bed where Jessie's dreamself lay. Madotsuki appeared in midair, and seconds later Jessie awoke. "All right, let's find your son's dreamscape in the Hall of Doors."

 _"OH NO, IT'S BILL!"_ The three whipped up at the sky: the triangle demon appeared as a black pyramid with three divided, rotating segments. _"Right? Was somebody gonna say that? No? GET THEM, GUYS!"_

A swarm of Nightmares flew out of Bill's form, so Madotsuki flew up, opened her window, and countered with her own deadly swarm. "Go on ahead, you two!"

"Hurry!" Jessie gestured Nolan over to the Exit Portal. From there, they accessed the Hall of Doors. "So, where's Dillon's dream world?"

"I dunno, I never had to navigate this place before!"

"Ugh, for God's sake." Jessie grabbed his Keyblade and stuck it in Nolan's mind. ("Ow!") A light was cast from the blade like a shooting star. The two navigated the Dream River and followed the light to Nolan's dreamscape.

A line on the river connected the dreamscape to Dillon's, and it was labeled _Awesome City_. Nolan gasped, seeing the darkness emitting around the portal, and the fact it was taking the shape of the Sharingan. "Well, _that_ doesn't look very awesome." Jessie said. "You know, if I seal the portal to his dreamscape, that might break Madara's control on its own. Closing his mind, you know."

"Aww, a closed mind ain't a good thing to have. But if that can work, just close the door to _my_ dream. I want Dillon's to stay open for now."

"Very well." Jessie cast a beam to seal Nolan's dream portal. "After you." Nolan rolled into Awesome City, then Jessie jumped in. (Play "Chilly Cool Frozen Mountain" from _Freeze Me_!)

 _Stage F-7: Awesome City_

 _Mission: Find Dillon and free him from Madara's control!_

Awesome City was a bustling metropolis composed of black buildings with yellow windows under a dark-blue moonlit sky. There were spotlights shining up from the surface and billboards that depicted Dillon dressed as Nightwing. Everything in the city was also drawn like a comic book style. "That's mah boy." Nolan chortled. "I'm not seeing any floor down below. Better stick to the rooftops."

Using their wheelchair glider and bubble glider respectively, the two flew off the roof and maneuvered around some buildings before landing on the walkway of another. There were windows opening and closing above the path, with sharp-toothed monsters called Screwheads peeping out of them. They had to pass the windows when the Screwheads weren't looking. The walkway ended at a ladder, which Sandman could climb using extendo claws on his chair. Searchlights skimmed left and right along the ladder, and when Jessie slipped on a step, a light spotted him and turned red, blasting Bullet Bills that Jessie bounced away with a bubble shield.

At the top of the roof, Screwheads were patrolling around a maze of boxes. "I can easily Bubble these monsters." Jessie whispered.

"I've seen these things in some comics, they're pretty scary. Dillon probably wants us to stealth, anyway." The first Screwhead patrolled forward, leaving the two to sneak up and hide in an open crate. They waited for the creature to turn and come back, so they could pass. The next route had a Screwhead manning a turret, but it conked out after every few seconds, giving them time to move between barriers. Once past the Screwhead, Jessie grabbed onto Nolan's chair as it grappled to a higher roof—Screwheads ran over to bite them, so Nolan grappled up the next building, and from there they launched up with the glider and whisked between spotlights.

They landed on a more open roof where a Mad Jester ambushed them; a large, pink jester flailing its hands and had a large tongue sticking out. Sandman dodged as the jester whipped its tongue, then grabbed the slobbery organ with Armament Haki. Jessie leapt to slash the tongue, forcing the monster to cry and be helpless to their combined attacks. The jester recovered and leapt away, beginning to juggle colorful bombs that it would chuck at the duo. Jessie defended Sandman from them while the latter located a gas barrel, chucking it at the Nightmare's tongue. In its poisoned state, Jessie dealt the finishing blows before Bubbling it.

The Nightmare dropped a Catch Card that Sandman caught. "How did the cards end up in the Dream World?"

"I dunno, man." said the person in the card, a purple jester called NiGHTS. "I just want my next game."

Sandman grappled them up to a billboard, launching off and gliding toward a highway. The wheelchair landed and balanced on a streetlight. The cars were nothing more than speeding, blurry lights, and would spell death should they fall. Helicopters flew overhead every few seconds, and Nolan could swing the grappling hook off the copters to following streetlights. If he missed his chance, they would be road kill. From the final lamppost, they glided down to an empty street.

Helicopters flew over the street and used searchlights. Nolan and Jessie hid under a fallen highway sign as a light passed over them. They continued on, having to go around broken parts of road and evading searchlights beside them—one helicopter spotted them, triggering a Screwhead-driven truck to zoom by—Nolan grabbed Jessie and rolled into a gap to avoid the truck, then grappled back to safety on the gap's ledge. A searchlight was patrolling over a street sign with a Catch Card, leaving a second open before it shone on the card again—Sandman was quick to grapple up, grab it, and escape.

The person in the card was someone Nolan recognized. "Commander Gunkan?"

"Who are you?!" the commander shouted. "Do you have something to do with all this?!"

"Huh? Commander, it's me!"

"Hey, Smarty, I don't think it's the commander you know." Jessie inferred.

"Oh, right, parallel universes. Um, forget what I said, Brett. Wait in here for a bit."

"My name isn't Brett, it's-!" He couldn't finish before Sandman stowed him away.

The highway ended at an open, steep drawbridge where a searchlight skimmed it in an 'S' fashion. Nolan shot his grappler to the top of the drawbridge and had to pull himself up without letting the helicopter spot him. From the top of the bridge, Sandman glided them to a building balcony. They were swarmed by Hover Cops (flying cop cars), but Haki punches and Keyblade strikes were enough to ground them. The balcony led around to a thin bridge going into a building with a giant blue "D". "Dillon must be inside there. Hopefully, the others are in position."

As they were crossing the bridge, a Toll Troll climbed up from below – it was a large bridge troll wearing bullies' clothes and holding a hand out for some money. "My ass." Jessie hit the hand with the Keyblade and flipped over the beast. The troll about-faced, only to be jumped by Sandman, who pulled it down backwards and socked it in the face, leaving Jessie to Bubble the beast and let it fly skyward. "My mom used to say, 'All bullies need is a good night's sleep to calm down.' Then I realized they only wake up more refreshed to kick my ass even more."

The two entered the building, whose interior was composed of three floors with mazelike halls. Standing across from them was a little yellow smiling creature with horns. "Awe, I remember when Dillon used to like these." Nolan smiled.

 **"NYAAARR!"** The creature morphed into a Screwhead and charged at them with razor teeth. "I guess that's why he doesn't, anymore! !" yelped Jessie. The two bolted down an alternate passage, going up stairs, then Nolan grappled them up to a duct. The Screwhead looked around before shrinking back to normal.

Nolan used Detective Vision to see the auras of seven Screwbits (his vision worked in this world thanks to the Gem of Dreams). "If I know my Batman, we probably have to get rid of all these guards." Nolan assumed.

"I can Bubble them if they're in their small form."

"Then I'll make sure you don't get ambushed." They dropped down and snuck up on the Screwbit they just escaped from. Jessie quietly pulled a bubble from his mind, catching the creature inside it. Nolan's Detective Vision sensed the others going active and rushing to where they were. "Uh-oh, time to hide." They entered a nearby office and got behind the desk. The Screwbits were confused at their Bubbled comrade on the ceiling, but when they found no visible culprits, they shrunk down and split up.

Nolan and Jessie snuck around and Bubbled the monsters one by one. In one of the offices, Nolan spotted a Catch Card sticking out of a vent in the ceiling corner. He shot his grappling hook and ripped the vent off, taking the card out. "OOO, it's Batman!" he beamed. "Oh, it's Lego Batman…" he realized.

"Oh yeah?! And what are you, Clay Mantis Man?"

"I'm Sandman."

"AND I'M BATMAN! !"

After the final Screwbit was Bubbled, they heard a gate open. They made their way to the third floor and found an elevator, but it was still locked by a terminal. "Alright, seems pretty basic." Nolan proceeded to hack the device, decrypting the code 'Next Hero.' "Okay, it should be… open?"

Jessie was already in the elevator. "I unlocked it with my Keyblade."

"…Well, I got more EXP from that." Nolan entered after him, riding the shaft all the way to the roof. There was a big Nightwing symbol over a bed where his son rested. Unfortunately, there was also a strange eye looming over him. (End song.)

"This must be the Sharingan eye Vanellope talked about."

"So, are you going to save your son or what?" Jessie inquired.

"Not yet."

"What the hell are you waiting for?!"

"I'll give it five minutes, at least. After I do, you can lock Dillon's mind like you did mine."

"Why couldn't I bloody do that from the start?!"

"I didn't wanna do it too early! Just wait, Jessie, you'll see."

 **Planet Twi**

Without Vanellope's voice to deter Dillon's conscience, the mind-controlled child followed Madara's command and led him to the Egg Chamber. It was the same black and white egg in the same location Dillon left her in. "There it is. Now…" Madara drew a Dark Pokéball. "Open it."

"Yeah, Dillon!" Diwata pointed. "Wake Midna up!" Crest brimmed in his Sharingan form upon hearing the order.

Meanwhile, way up in the stratosphere, the Sandmobile tracked Dillon to this vicinity. "I hope this is the right place. Do you see anything, Kayla?" Yuki asked.

The sniper was perched on the craft's roof, aiming down at the planet with her rifle. "No, I can't. Why do I need Vanellope to see my target again?"

"Because if you look at the Sharingan, you might fall in a trance, too. Look, do one of you see it?"

 _"The gun's picking up some human targets."_ Vanel said from the rifle. _"Zoom in a little closer… THERE THEY ARE!"_

"Okay, so what am I aiming for?"

 _"Go up a little—TOO HIGH! Okay good, a liiiittle right… There! Target locked! Now, take the shot!"_

"Got it. Here goes!" Kayla pulled the trigger, and the bullet shot down at near lightspeed.

Dillon was seconds from touching the Egg Chamber when suddenly, a tiny pink bullet zipped down from the orange sky and hit Diwata. The Lunarian collapsed, much to Madara's shock, and Crest reverted to normal without his Guardian to order him. "Huh?!" Dillon gasped, waking up on his knees. He saw Madara and stumbled backwards in fear.

A swirl of sand emerged out of Dillon's mind and materialized into Nolan, who was already in position for a leaping punch. Wearing a glove of iron will, he PUNCHED Madara in the eye. The ninja bounced and rolled for a few feet. "DAD!" exclaimed Dillon. "What's going on?!"

 **Moments ago**

Rewinding back to the scene on the _Noah_ , "But first, Yuki, Vanellope, can I speak to you for a minute?"

Nolan led the two away from the others and whispered something. "Vanellope, if you saw the Sharingan too, why didn't you get brainwashed?"

"I dunno. Maybe 'cause I'm digital."

"Then it's time to test that. Yuki, ask Nebula to warp you back to Earth and get Kayla. She has a new telescope gun that can lock on targets beyond the stratosphere. I'm sure it can work the other way around, too. Fly above the area on the planet where Dillon's at. I'm sure Madara, Crest, and Diwata will be near him. When she's in position, tell her to shoot Diwata."

"WHOA, why Diwata?!" Vanel yelled.

"If Diwata is Crest's Guardian, Madara could be controlling _her_ to control Crest to control Dillon. If she's knocked out, Crest might stop listening to her. Then I'll take the chance to jump Madara from Dillon's mind."

"And we're just gonna KILL Diwata?!"

"NO, tell Kayla to use the Antikill bullets. I know Madara would be the best target, but I'm afraid a _real_ bullet wouldn't do him in. By the way, Vanellope, you'll need to help Kayla find the target, because if she looks at the eye, she might get brainwashed, too. That's also why I think a stratosphere shot is the best way to approach this, so you're not too close. Leave the rest to me and Jessie. Do you got it?"

"Of course!" Vanel jumped.

"You can count on us." Yuki nodded.

 **Present**

"It's a funny thing, looking at the world through the scope of a rifle." Kayla said, stretching her arms after taking the shot.

Vanellope glitched out. "Is that from a book or something?"

"Kind of. So, you need me for anything else, or is that it?"

"You can help us take out these ships." Yuki said, blasting missiles at a Heartless.

"In that case, these little things won't do." She took out the pack of pink bullets and switched it for M.A.R.B.L.E.s. She spotted three Heartless ships flying together, locked on the engine of the middle one, and fired an explosive shot that would take them all out.

 **Twi's surface**

Nolan shot his grappler and yanked the Darkball out of Madara's hand, crushing it in his palm. "Not bad for an old man, eh son?"

"You killed one of your own comrades just for an ambush?!" Madara inquired.

"She's not dead, it's Antikill. Speed of a bullet, strength of a bullet, but minus the injury or death."

"Oh yah, that stuff you and Nagisa made!" Dillon helped himself to his feet.

"Impressive, I admit. But do you really think disabling Crest will save you from ME?" Madara flashed his Sharingan, but there was no effect on Nolan or Dillon. "Why isn't it working?!"

"That kid is good for something." Nolan rubbed his head. "So, where was I? Oh yeah." He whipped out a gun and shot Antikill bullets, which Madara blocked with his sword before flying up to punch him away.

"Dad!"

"Dillon, wake Midna up, NOW!"

The boy gasped and jumped around, realizing the Egg Chamber was here. He slapped his hand over the hatch, and a great orange light erupted from it, engulfing the shaded land.

When the light faded, a pair of feet stepped in the grass; one was white, the other black. A dark robe with light-blue writing was worn down her back and around her chest. The piece of her helmet that covered her left eye depicted a dark moon, and she had two ponytails. "Darkness is the embodiment of evil." She opened her right eye, which brimmed like a small sun. "Light is the essence of good. Shadow is the wall that binds them. Balances them. It ensures that people have equal light and equal darkness. The bridge of twilight, where light crosses into darkness, is calm and bliss with this balance."

The eye dimmed, and she turned to Dillon with a smile. "Don't tell me you forgot that?"

"Ha ha! No, Midna, of course not!"

"So, what've you been up to?"

"Nothing much. But you're just in time for some excitement." He turned his attention to Madara, and Midna followed his gaze. She noticed Diwata and Crest unconscious on the grass, and Nolan climbing back onto his chair.

"You just can't find any other means of father-son bonding." Midna shook her head. "All right. Time for Big Sister to bail you out of trouble again." She waved her arms and reaffirmed her flow of chi.

"A real bad guy bashing really bonds a family together." Dillon pulled up his hood to conceal his eyes in shadow, ready to battle.

* * *

 **But since no one's posted any _Freeze Me_ soundtracks, I guess that's up to me. XP Merry post-Christmas, everyone!**


	11. The Darkness Within

**I had such a hard time getting the motivation to write this battle. (Play "With the Shinobi World at Stake" from _Ultimate Ninja Storm 3_!)**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-11: The Darkness Within_**

 _Boss fight: Madara Uchiha_

Dillon stretched 10 shadows across the air in an attempt to catch Madara, but the ninja countered with the black flames of Amaterasu. "Eek!" Dillon saw the flames burn along the shadow, so he snapped the shadows before they could reach. Madara zipped up for quick slashes that Dillon evaded, then the boy used Veil to slide far away and send Mario to gnash his enemy. Madara sliced the shadow in two, but a swarm of Marios flew in for the attack. Madara burned them all with Amaterasu, but one more Mario managed to bite his ankles from underneath.

Nolan seized the brief moment of distraction to launch his grappling hook to Madara and haul himself over, taking the ninja down with an Armament Body Slam. Nolan threw punches at his face, but Madara countered by repelling him off with, "Magnet Release!" The ninja got to his feet, and any attempts for Dillon or Nolan to get close were rejected by a magnetic barrier. Madara expanded the field, blew a crater into the ground, and repelled the heroes miles apart.

Madara quickly caught up to Dillon, raising his Keyblade above the fallen boy. "Once I unlock your mind, nothing will protect you from my Tsukuyomi."

"POI!" Dillon spat up in his eyes, blinding them with a black glob. "Condensed Shadow Fog, baby!" Dillon Veiled, stretched both shadowy arms above the surface, and expanded them to giant size to pummel Madara against the ground. Dillon reemerged and grabbed Madara's arms in giant shadow hands, trying to crush them, but Madara used Amaterasu to burn the black splotch blinding him, then tried to burn Dillon before he released him.

The titanic samurai Susanoo rose from Madara's Sharingan, holding swords in both hands and the sheathes in the flaming wings. Dillon panicked and narrowly evaded its giant slashes before Veiling and slipping behind the demon. "You aren't the only one who can go super size, buddy!" Dillon absorbed the shadows around the field and grew to Susanoo's size. He caught the samurai in a Shadow Possession, but Susanoo easily broke free and slashed the shadow giant in half. "AAAAGH!" The real Dillon went falling out, but he was snatched in Midna's Hair Hand and pulled to safety.

"Be careful, Dillon. You might've gotten stronger since the last time I saw you, but this guy's power is still pretty serious."

"So, how about a little Firstborn magic?!"

"Dillon, Madara is using some advanced form of energybending; that giant samurai and even the black flames are made of some kind of spiritual energy. I'll take the place of your shadow and try to swallow that energy in a Shadow Possession."

"Okay, Midna. Ready when you are!"

Midna jumped into Dillon's shadow, the boy evading Susanoo's blades, which cut flaming streaks across the dark landscape. Dillon cast his shadow to Susanoo's, and multiple Midna's Hair Hands sprouted up around the colossus. The chakra was sucked into the hands, traveling along the veins until Susanoo was no more. The Hair Hands retracted and Midna reemerged. "Uck!" she choked. "I might need some time to digest this."

"Thanks again!" Dillon stuck his fist into the ground, stretching it as a shadow and springing it up below Madara. The ninja easily dodged the Shade Fist and all the following ones—hundreds of Shade Fists flew out of the ground to grab Madara from all directions, the Darkness rapidly slicing them, until the Sandman popped out of a shadow and landed an iron punch to Madara's jaw. Madara dropped his sword, so Nolan seized the chance to yank the weapon over with the grappling hook and bend it at three angles with his Armament hands.

"Wood Style: Looped Forest Jutsu!" Madara made hand signals and sprouted a forest of looping, twisting trees.

"Whoooa!" Dillon and Nolan were uplifted by a rising tree, falling off and landing within the forest. As they searched for their opponent, trees were trying to whack and crush them, so Dillon pulled himself and his father in Veil for safety. "Dad, do you see him anywhere?!"

"There! In that tree!" Nolan indicated Madara's form melded with a part of a tree. Dillon shot the shadow of his arm out, molded it into a spear, and pierced the tree. Madara took cover inside another tree and vanished, piercing the ground where he sensed them with chakra-imbued trees. Dillon and Nolan were forced out of the Veil, but when a tree was about to crush them, Dillon bent the shadow of the tree up to block it.

"Dillon, he's in this direction!" Midna called. Dillon pulled his father in Veil and slid after her, and upon seeing Madara, he stabbed a Shadow Spear through the tree. Nolan instantly caught the ninja with the grappling hook, yanked him into the Veil, and laid the beatdown. Dillon then chucked Madara out of the shadow, stretching his Shade Fist to nearly 50 feet high with his father at the end of it, his body turned Armament. Dillon whirled the man around before smashing down at Madara—the ninja blocked the attack with Susanoo's rib cage shield.

"You big coward!" Dillon shouted.

"Fire Style: Burning Forest Jutsu!" With another quick hand sign, Madara set his entire forest aflame. "The power of Shadow will not aid you now that you are surrounded by light."

"Dillon, watch out!" Nolan pulled his son away with the grappler before a burning branch could crush him.

"The fire makes my bending weaker, but not enough to slow me down!" Dillon stuck both arms in the shadows and came out with dozens of Shade Hands, attempting to reach into the Susanoo rib cage. Madara burned the hands with Amaterasu, but Dillon had already pulled his father in a Veil, sent him below Madara, and allowed him to get into the rib cage. Nolan grabbed him in Armament arms and furiously punched him—Madara turned into a burning branch, prompting Nolan to release.

"Crud, a Substitution?!" yelled Dillon.

"Even basic abilities have their uses." They looked to the top of another tree, where Madara was perfectly balanced. "With these flames, I was able to find where you hid these two." He was holding Diwata in one arm while Crest floated close. "In truth, I am only keeping these ones alive because Bill still wishes to harness Crest's power. But _my_ need for Crest ended long ago. With my Sharingan, I was able to absorb and copy Crest's Moon Chi. Now, I will destroy you with the moon's power!"

A glowing blue circle appeared high in the heavens, and from it emerged a humongous moon. Madara moved the moon to block the eternal sunset, shrouding the planet in near total darkness. Madara began to bring the moon closer, setting aflame upon passing the atmosphere. Midna extended numerous Hair Hands to push the moon back. "I don't know how he did it, but this thing's brimming with Firstborn-quality Moon Chi! And I'm… having a hard time pushing it back!"

"We'll stop him!" Dillon sent Mario up to gnash Madara, but a Shadow Clone of the ninja smacked the shadow away with his gunbai.

"Dillon, you know how to use Shadow Thief, right? Well, be a good Pokémon and take Madara's shadow! You'll notice I added an extra touch to that ability."

"All right. MARIO, GO!" His shadow stretched off to connect with Madara's shadow, using every ounce of strength to pull it off. Madara's clone focused on Dillon and burned the boy into nothing with Amaterasu.

"DILLON!" Nolan screamed.

"Relax, Pop." Midna said.

"BOOM!" Dillon stabbed the Madara clone with Shadow Spear. "You ain't the only one who makes Shadow Clones!" Dillon shot Mario up to Madara again, playing Tug-o-War with his shadow, but because Madara was focusing his energy on the moon, he couldn't fight back. "Mine!" Dillon successfully accumulated the shadow into his own, feeling a surge of power.

 _Master, I think I know what Midna wanted us to do!_

"I think so, too, Mario!" Dillon made hand signs, first encasing himself in Susanoo's rib cage, followed by the colossal winged samurai in full form.

"By taking other peoples' shadows, the bender can normally upgrade their physical strength." Midna said. "But the 2nd Age power I gave to Dillon lets him use the owner's abilities!"

"Eat some of your own FLAME, Madea!" Dillon slashed both swords up at the moon and sliced it in four pieces. He continued slashing to break the moon even further, once again exposing the twilight sun to the world.

"AAAAAHH!" Madara was engulfed by a white flame. "What is this…this fire?!"

"You seem to be missing a shadow!" Midna smirked. "Loneliness' Toll has taken you!"

"Hmm… So, this is what he meant." Madara smirked. In one more second, his body burned completely. The burning trees disappeared, leaving them in a barren shaded field. (End song.)

Dillon disabled the Susanoo. "Huuuff." He fell on his back. "Well… that takes care of another one."

"I'm proud of you, Dillon." Nolan smiled. "You fought very well."

"You fought well too, Dad." Dillon grinned.

"Thankfully, his little boy kept him on his toes." Midna snickered.

"Heh heh heh! Wellp, 'guess I better call Yuki to pick us up." Nolan tapped his wristwatch. "Yuki, it's Nolan. Come pick us up."

 **Atmosphere**

Yuki and Kayla were shooting down Heartless ships from the roof of the Sandmobile while Vanellope controlled the craft. "Copy that, Nolan! We'll be there as soon as we clear the sky a bit more. WHOA!" The engine was suddenly frozen.

"Scratch that!" Vanel responded. "Yuki just froze the engine like an idiot!"

"It wasn't me!"

"I will not allow you to leave this sector." They were approached by a small, floating white ship, controlled by a woman in a white general's uniform, her icy blue hair matched by her cold eyes. A strange black symbol was tattooed above her cleavage.

"Since you can talk, I'm guessing you're a commander of some kind?" Yuki remarked.

"Yes. I'm General Esdeath. The Ice Devil."

"Just my kind of match." Yuki surfed along an ice path and shot icicles that Esdeath easily deflected, afterwards spawning an ice wall in his path. Yuki smashed through it, but was pelted by giant ice boulders that Esdeath spawned around him. Esdeath ran across ice platforms and slashed a blade, which Yuki was quick to clash with one of his own made of ice.

 **Twi's surface**

"Sounds pretty rough up there." Nolan said. "Expect some delays."

Midna approached Diwata's unconscious body. She felt presences coming from inside her sash pockets. When Midna looked inside, she found Lee Andrew, Denny, and Lulu in Catch Cards. "Midna, is that you? Where's Madara?" Lee asked.

"He's destroyed."

"No, he's not." Midna gasped and whipped around. Dillon got back on his feet and pulled off his hood. Midna and Nolan were horrified to see the Sharingan in his eyes.

"M…Madara?!" Midna gulped.

"Just as I have with Crest… I have been copying Dillon's power from the beginning. My shadow gained consciousness, and I have possessed Dillon's body through it."

Nolan grabbed the chest of his shirt and held him threateningly. "LET DILLON GO!"

"I don't intend to harm him now. I have unlocked his mind and put it under Genjutsu. But now, Midna must listen to me!" He grabbed the Firstborn's Spirit Ball. "Go and destroy the Kids Next Door with your full power!"

"No!" Midna tried to restrain herself. Her eyes flashed and her body began to expand.

"Midna, what are you doing?!" Nolan yelled.

"How pathetic." Madara said. "The Firstborn are forced to obey their Mortal Guardians, because those Guardians would never force them to use their full godly power. But my ambitions are stronger than this boy's." He channeled chakra to his fingers and flicked Nolan off.

"Fine." Nolan panted. "If you ain't gonna come out peacefully, I'll go in there and drag you out!" He morphed into sand with the Gem of Dreams and blew into Dillon's mind.

 **Dillon's Subconscious**

Nolan landed in a pitch-black field with a moving red sky that was really a giant Sharingan. "Dillon!" His son was standing like a mindless zombie. "Dillon, wake up! Dillon!" Nolan grabbed and shook him.

"Do not disturb him." Madara said, floating above them. Nolan grit his teeth. "Your son is dreaming of a perfect world. As of this moment, he feels no need to battle. He feels no despair. Tell me, Nolan… why do you fight an endless battle? Do you not suffer night after night? Wouldn't you choose the peaceful life if you could?"

"It's thanks to people like you that I can't. Why work for the Darknesses if you live by that philosophy?"

"This is merely a means to an end. Lord English promises me a peaceful world with no conflict, no chaos or despair. If it were up to me, I would spare all of you. I could give everyone the everlasting dream. Including you, Nolan." His Keyblade spawned. "Open your mind, and I can make your dreams reality." He aimed the blade and cast a beam at Nolan's mind.

 **Dream inside a dream**

His head becoming foggy, Nolan fell into a sea of mist. When it cleared, he was at his dining room table with his son, Danika, and Vanellope. Nolan glanced at the wall and noticed a newspaper inside a glass casing: _CRIME GONE IN QUAHOG! Villains Got Bored!_ the tagline read.

"Well, sweetie, now that you don't need to be Sandman anymore, you can look for a real job and _I_ can stay at home!" Danika grinned.

"I… don't?" Nolan questioned.

"Short-term memory, much, Dad?" Vanellope remarked. "You sent all the villains packing! Tomorrow, we're all going to a party! Everyone's gonna be there! Corey, Mr. Dodds, Grandma and Grandpa, even Old Dillon!"

"Dillon and Corey? They're… coming to the party?"

"Uuuugh! Stick a lightsaber down my throat, already!" Revan Bane Sidious made a gagging gesture.

"REVAN?!" Nolan jumped to his feet.

"Dad, what's wr—wr—wr—wr…" Dillon started glitching like Vanellope. Time froze as the world was sparking like static.

"Whoops! 'Guess my presence here is f**king up your perfect world." Revan shrugged perkily. "Trying to shirk my existence into the dark corners of your mind, eh old boy? Well, I guess that Sharingan was the get-out-of-jail card I needed. Tell you what, Nolan, you sit back and take it easy and let ME teach that ninja a thing or two. Don't worry, I trained my brain to resist any and all mind-control techniques. I'll have Madara out of your son's mind in a jiffy. I mean, I can't have too many overpowered supervillains fighting over the throne with me."

"You shouldn't be here at all! You…You're dead! I killed you!"

"At least you have the gall to admit it, not like Batman. But I'm very much alive, Nolan. The cells aren't fully developed, yet, but I reckon I'll have the run of your body 'long as you're under this Genjutsu. Just sit down, eat breakfast with your family, and let Big Bro Revan take care of the rest." He softly waved by Nolan's eyes and guided him back to his seat. "Go on, big boy. You deserve to relax. After all, you banished crime from Quahog! Heheh, as if."

Revan vanished, and time in the dream returned to normal. "Dad?" Dillon spoke again.

"Er… Nothing." Nolan blushed, having quickly forgot the interaction. "Where's Midna, anyway?"

"She decided to go back to the Twilight Realm." Danika answered.

"Siiigh… Good." It really was an ideal dream world.

 **The previous dream**

"It's just as Bill said." Madara observed the gem in Nolan's pocket. "He can use that gem to physically enter a person's mind, and he can physically battle Nightmares. Such a gem is of no use to me… so, I will destroy it."

"KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, BUDDY!" Nolan suddenly jumped awake and blasted Madara away with psychic. One of his eyes was blue while the other was yellow.

"You've awakened?" Madara was surprised. "Wait… there's something different about you."

"I'll say there is!" Nolan flew up out of his chair, jabbing his fists up. "Just look at me! This body feels AMAZING! I mean, my legs feel stiff as shit, but it's better than having none to go with. Can you believe that you go into the afterlife still handicapped?"

"Why isn't the Tsukuyomi affecting you?!" Madara focused his eyes. "What sort of creature have you become?"

"I'm the result of controversial science, bitch! Get ready for a dose of REVOLAN!" (Play "02 Battle" from _Kirby 64_!)

 _Phase 2: Shadow Madara_

"Very well, 'Revolan.'" Madara made a hand sign and transformed into a Sharingan with Susanoo's flaming wings, along with the rib cage shield. "We'll see how long your mind resists."

Revolan swiftly dodged the Amaterasu flames and shot Psycho Spheres at the barrier. The rib cage was breaking one bone at a time, but the psychic was blasted away by a magnetic pulse. Revolan teleported closer and clasped the wings in psychic, but he failed to rip them off before Madara summoned another looping forest. Revolan was cut off from the eye, having to dodge whipping trees as he maneuvered through them. He saw the Sharingan melded with a larger tree and formed a giant Psycho Sphere to destroy it.

When the eye flew skyward, Revolan grabbed some of the trees with psychic and tossed them at Madara, who cast Amaterasu to demolish them, only for Revolan to shoot up inside a psychic diamond and puncture the eye. Madara was exposed after the attack, allowing Revolan to lay a furious beatdown with Haki punches. He briefly shocked the ninja with Force Lightning before throwing him to the shadowy ground.

Madara transformed into the Sharingan once more and encased himself in the upper body of Susanoo, complete with sword-wielding arms. Revolan conjured a Diamond Shield, but it was destroyed in two strikes of the giant swords. "You big jerk!" Revolan grabbed the right sword in a strong psychic grip. Madara was unable to tug the arm back, so he attacked with the other sword, which Revolan blocked with the previous sword. "Choke on your own blade!" Revolan forced the sword to cut off Susanoo's head, dispelling the body.

Revolan cast Force Lightning against the eye, but even the electric was burned by the Amaterasu, and as the psychic flew around for a good vantage point, Madara made balls of black flame puff around the air. "Wait a sec, if I can use Haki in this body, I bet my psychic can, too!" Revolan formed a bubble around himself, turning it black with Armament Haki and thrusting himself against the eye. The Sharingan sustained more damage and uncovered Madara, prompting Revolan to smash him to the ground under his iron bubble.

Revolan dispelled the bubble and pulled Madara up with psychic, grabbing his head and trying to twist it. "I've had enough of this!" Madara drew his Keyblade and stabbed it into Nolan's head. Madara escaped his grip and faced him directly. "If you refuse to open your mind to the Tsukuyomi, then I will lock your mind so that you cannot think at all!"

"ZAP!" Revolan sent Force Lightning from his brain along the Keyblade to push Madara off. "BRAIN STORM!" A cloud of psychic formed in the sky and struck Madara with powerful lightning. He quickly teleported up to Madara and sprayed Explosive Gel in his eyes. "Boom!" He pressed the detonator.

"AAAAAUGH!"

Revolan grabbed him from behind again, arms wrapped around the neck. "We have brains! We have brawn! We have brutality! We are Darth Ferior! Nolan and I may have had our differences, but he will always be my apprentice! We'll make our name in the New World together!"

"You need to take a nap." Both Revolan and Madara were caught inside a large bubble. (End song.)

"What the-?!" Revolan exclaimed. Madotsuki was outside the bubble. She divided it in half, sending the half with Madara up to the sky. The Sharingan sky faded back into the calm blue of Dillon's Subconscious. "Dammit, I was just about to kill him! Sleepy-eyed little… yaaaawn…"

"You're not in your right mind. Go to sleep, please." Madotsuki entered the bubble and tapped the Dream Gem. "He needs to wake up."

"Yaaawn… fine." Revan groaned as the gem brimmed. "But you haven't seen the last of me."

 **Planet Twi**

The sand flew out of Dillon's mind and reformed into Nolan. With Dillon unconscious, Midna shrunk back to her normal form and regained control of herself. She returned to see Nolan plop himself back in his wheelchair. "Nolan, what happened in there? Did you defeat him?"

"I don't remember. I was caught in Madara's mind-control… and then…"

Midna reached her Hair Hand to pull Madara's shadow out of Dillon's. "Amazing. Madara could grant himself elemental powers and master control of them in no time at all. But it seems like whatever you did put his shadow out of commission." She divided it into shadow particles. "Anyway… you had us a ride, didn't you?"

"Hopefully." Nolan phoned the Sandmobile once again. "Yuki, are you guys okay up there?! We're ready to leave this planet whenever you are!"

 **Atmosphere**

"Vanellope, Kayla, go down and rescue them already!" Yuki shouted. "I'll keep playing with this chick!"

"All right, Mr. Crystal! We'll be back in a jiffy!" Vanellope responded. Kayla hopped in the Sandmobile before they shot down to the surface.

"Let's wrap this up quickly." Yuki punched his leg and activated Ice Fury. A mass of ice formed around him, growing to 50 feet tall and taking the shape of the Crystal Colossus. A gigantic beam of ice began to charge in his lungs. Esdeath looked much smaller in comparison, for even she may not survive.

"Mahapadma." A blue sphere grew from the tattoo on her chest. It exploded just as Yuki cast his ice storm. Time and space had completely frozen. Esdeath looked around the space, seeing bullets floating frozen, the white gusts from Wendy's bending, the colorful notes from Sugar's vocals. Everything now had a blue tone in this frozen stasis.

Esdeath kicked up to the ice titan's rib cage where Yuki controlled it. With no extra effort, she stabbed him with her sword. The second after time reverted to normal, the Crystal Colossus screeched and collapsed. "COUGH!" Yuki clasped his punctured chest. "What did you… HUACK!" He coughed blood.

"I froze time and cut you."

"Froze… time?!"

"You lost because you weren't strong enough." Esdeath smirked. "Only the strong are allowed to survive in this world. I'll pass that message to the rest of them." She threw her hands up, seemingly turning the warm orange sky into a frosty blue one. In actuality, it was a storm of icicles that she rained down onto everyone, uncaring if they were friend or foe.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew up from below and kept the icicles aloft. "VENTUS INCENDIO!" Vaati Apparated next to his daughter and blew a flaming cyclone up through the ice shards.

"DAD!" Wendy exclaimed.

"WHAT?!" Esdeath shouted. "I thought you worked for the Darknesses! Why are you helping them?!"

"I will let no harm come to my daughter! Wendy, let's go!" Vaati grabbed her arm.

"Dad, wait-!" They Apparated.

"WENDY!" Carla screamed.

"I think the reinforcements are coming!" Sugar indicated the Gem ships warping out of hyperspace.

"All operatives, back inside your ships, we're retreating!" Karin ordered.

"Where the heck do we retreat to?!" Jinta shouted.

"Anywhere there ain't enemies trying to kill us! I'll get Mr. Crystal!" The ghost girl swooped by and grabbed Yuki, turning intangible before Esdeath had a chance to retaliate.

 ** _King Dutchman_**

"Grrrr! Madara's been defeated, too, huh?" Bill watched as the Sharingan symbol on the prophetic banner faded. "Tsk tsk tsk. We certainly can't have that now, can we?" He grabbed one of his phones. "Thanos, bring Madara to life when you have the chance. I don't know how those Yorks were lucky enough to beat him, but I doubt they could do it a second time!"

* * *

 **Regrettably, I couldn't apply Madara's Ten-Tails power and make him as strong as he was in the show, otherwise… Dillon and Nolan would've been smoked, hands down. -_- Esdeath comes from _Akame ga Kill_ , and what we've seen with Revolan, we will not see again until much later.**


	12. The Thanos Problem

**This one has some special appearances!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-12: The Thanos Problem_**

 **Hivebent**

The Sandmobile made it back to Hivebent after escaping through the Heartless fleet. Midna carried Dillon in her Hair Hand while Kayla helped Yuki walk. "It's Dillon and the others!" Aurora said happily. "And they got Midna!"

"They look pretty beaten up." Haylee said. "What happened?"

"We fought Madara Uchiha." Midna answered. "We destroyed his main body, and I have his shadow under suspension."

"So, that's another Darkness down?!"

"Hey – not to be a party pooper, but my heart kinda got stabbed- COUGH!" Yuki coughed, clasping his chest. "I'm using ice to hold the wound shut, but I could use some healing medication."

"Come on, I'll take you to Melody's room!" Haruka gestured them to follow. "We'll patch you up!"

"DAMMIT! Why couldn't you guys have captured Madara ALIVE?!" Karkat shouted.

"Under the circumstances, we weren't too concerned about following the 'no killing' rule." Nolan stated.

"You Don't Understand." Kanaya replied. "I've Intercepted One Of Bill's Calls, And He's Ordered Thanos To Revive Madara As Soon As Possible."

"You're kidding me!" Vanellope protested.

"We only survived that battle out of luck." Midna said. "I doubt we could do it a second time. Why haven't you done anything about Thanos?!"

"Because he's fucking powerful!" Chris proclaimed. "Remember when he destroyed the Earth and brought it back to life just for fun?! That coulda been the end of us, just like that! I mean, YOU guys don't have any ideas, do you?"

"Not Us." Kanaya answered, still viewing her computer. "However, According To The Phone Call, 'Thanos Has No Time For Weaklings, And He'll Revive Madara When It Matters To Him.' Before That Matters, We Need To Take Him Down Now. And It Seems Those IDA People Sent The Very People We Need!"

They heard a noise in the hangar and ran to see who was landing. It was a red and white jet with multiple cannons. Nolan, Dillon, and the Gilligans were in awe at who climbed out of the jet: Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Bruce Banner. "You call this a base?" asked Tony Stark, his mask opening up. "I mean, I'm all for simplicity, but a few high school photos would do wonders."

"HOLY slag, it's the Avengers." Nolan tried to contain himself.

"Please give me your autographs!" Artie pleaded, hands folded.

"Our fame has spread far, it seems." Thor said. "Though, if I may ask, do any of you know a woman named Phosphora?"

"Okay, save the fanboy orgasms for later." Karkat stepped forward. "Give us the good news, Team Tights, the IDA sent you to tell us how to beat Thanos, so what's the juice?"

"Riiiight… Thanos." Bruce Banner smiled and nodded at memories. "Ahem, kids, there's only one thing you need to know about Thanos, and once you know it, the rest will come easy."

"And that is?" asked Aurora.

"Thanos is invincible. You should stay away from him." Cap finished.

They all collapsed anime-style. "I'm afraid he speaks the truth." Thor followed. "There was never anyone like Thanos in our universe. We teamed up with every hero we could find—all the Avengers, the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, the Guardians of the Galaxy… and at the end, Thanos was standing on a pile of our bodies."

"That part was so amazing." Artie was crying at the irony.

"If Thanos kicked yo' butts, then why are you still alive?!" Harry questioned.

"All of a sudden, Thanos just disappears." Iron Man shrugged. "But it wasn't long after that, our universe is tearing apart and this 'IDA' is saving our asses."

"So, you have NO idea how to beat Thanos?!" Chris complained.

"Calm yourselves." Thor said. "Now that we are here, we will not rest until Thanos falls. Other denizens from fallen dimensions are gathering to help us battle the Titan."

"Unfortunately, Thanos' Keyblades give him the advantage over inter-dimensionals." Karkat said doubtfully. "It'll be as easy as a flick of the finger. The only chance we'll have at defeating Thanos is using what's probably the most powerful Firstborn we designed."

 _"MR. CRYSTAL! !"_ The kids heard Haruka and Melody's voices.

Team Sandman were the first ones to head to Feferi's room where Yuki was being treated. He was lying dead on the jelly bed, his expression frozen agape. "Y…Yuki!" Nolan choked.

"H-His heart turned to solid ice and BROKE!" Melody stuttered. "Like, we closed the wound, and I was warming my water… It just BROKE and completely disappeared, and I can't heal him like this! !"

"Yuki… _was_ fighting another icebender." Carol remembered. "I wonder if she did something…"

"Yuki…" Nolan sighed in remorse. They shared a moment of silence over their second casualty.

"Suki and Miyuki will be heartbroken." Dillon said. "We better call them, anyway…"

"So, who's the powerful Firstborn you designed?" Chris asked impatiently. "If it can beat Thanos, we need it now!"

"SH3 H4S 4LR34DY GON3 TO COLL3CT H1M." Terezi assured.

 **Land of Wind and Shade**

Planet Indo was a peaceful planet that hadn't yet been touched by The Thirteen. A gentle breeze whisked across this world. The entire planet was a deep blue, and its salamander denizens bathed under a sky of golden stars.

Vaati and Wendy POOFED in the middle of a field, scaring the nearby salamanders. "DAD, please take me back!" Wendy pled. "My friends really need me, I have to go-!"

Vaati grabbed her daughter in a hug. His left eye leaked a tear. "Wendy… I thought you were dead. I felt the piece of my soul that was inside you shatter."

"Um… the Fairy Sisters helped get rid of my curse."

"The Fairy Sisters?" Vaati glanced at her hand. "THE FAIRY'S TAIL!" He gaped ecstatically, snatching the legendary wand. "You actually have it?! You went to Fairy World and took it?!"

"No, Princess Mavis entrusted me with it!" Wendy snatched it back. "Dad, the trolls said that you were possessed by Lord Voldemort! Please tell me that isn't true!"

"Hmmm…" Vaati bowed his head. "I am not possessed, so to speak… but I am sharing this body with Voldemort. We worked out an agreement and decided, with our powers combined, we could learn unstoppable and countless forms of magic."

"But why? Isn't he the kind of person you despise?"

"He is. And it sickens me. But it's for the greater good." Vaati smiled. "By working with The Thirteen, I have finally been able to access the Original Worlds! The very realms I sought for ages! I even found YOUR Original World! I found the Original Wendy and Charle! The resemblances are uncanny!"

"Dad, Lord English is destroying the universe! How can you work for him, this goes against everything you-"

Vaati cupped a hand over her mouth. He leaned closer and whispered to his daughter, "Voldemort and I have another understanding, too: we despise Lord English. Based on Bill's information, a creature dwells on this planet; a creature that Lord English fears. Its name is Typheus, and it is a wind spirit. He ordered me to this world because he wanted me to destroy Typheus. But what I want you to do instead is harness its power."

"But why is Lord English afraid of Typheus?"

"I do not know the exact reason, but if it is a secret to his destruction, we need Typheus' power. And a powerful airbender like yourself will be unstoppable with it."

"No, Dad." Wendy turned away. "I…I can't trust you. You lied to me about my mom. You abandoned me. And now you're working with the enemy!"

"I know I have done terrible things, but above all my ambitions, the one I love the most is _you_. And I have done all I could to protect you and your friends from evil. I won't ask you to forgive my past decisions, but I would like you to trust me now. We and all your friends… we will destroy Lord English. Please."

"…" Wendy remained silent for a moment, secretly fiddling with her wristwatch. Then she turned to her father with a smile. "At least I know you're always looking out for me. And you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I can trust that much about you."

"Of course, Wendy." Vaati smiled. "No matter what, I only want the best for you, and I will protect you from anything. So… shall we be off?"

"Lead the way, Dad!" Wendy grinned.

"I'm… not actually sure where Typheus is." Vaati scratched his head sheepishly.

"Oh. Well, it's a good thing we're fast! I'll find him first!" Wendy dashed off.

"Wait, Wendy!" Vaati raced after her.

Xehanort had been watching from behind a jagged rock, smirking. "Mmmm… such an innocent girl. And such a lovely young heart."

 **The Galactic Sea**

The Galactic Sea was an expansive realm that seemed to take up 70% of the First Dimension. It may have seemed like water, but it was really a cluster of billions of little stars, glittering for light-years and light-years. It was more vast than the planets that loomed above them, so an ordinary ship would be impossibly tiny, never to find one end of this sea to the next. The only ship that would have a chance would be the great _Noah_ itself.

"Alas, my crewmen, it seems that a pirate's life is never to be satisfied." Augustus Fizzuras spoke sadly from the helm. "Just as I thought Earth's blue sea was endless, I remembered there was an endless universe beyond my gaze. How I would've loved to sail this galaxy, for both my fallen mate Sunny-Fist Sheila, and all the pirates who've perished before their time. Were I only immortal, I would happily-"

"I saw you makin' out with a picture of Penelope." Rallo interrupted him.

"Hmph. Brat. Uh-oh, it looks like we're coming up to some islands. Time for a little detour."

"Hold on." Nebula spoke from the deck. "He's here. Jirachi is here, I can feel it. If he's really our only shot at beating Thanos, I need to find him." (Play "Rainbow Resort" from _Kirby: Nightmare In Dreamland_!)

 _Stage F-8: Star Cake Archipelago_

 _Mission: Find Jirachi's Egg Chamber!_

Nebula flew off the _Noah_ and landed on the first star-shaped island. Five Cosmic Embers (flaming star spirits) brimmed into being, spiraling around Nebula before casting flames at their center. Nebula dodged and shot Starbursts at the spirits, but this caused their flames to expand as they shot mini fireballs. This was followed by the Embers bouncing on her, but she withstood the attacks and flew higher, pelting them with more Starbursts. The Embers grew so big, they POPPED.

Nebula bounced on a series of floating stars that led to a bigger island, which looked like a purple hill-shaped cake with gold icing. Three Heartless that took the form of three-layered cake appeared, ramming Nebula with spiral flame shields. Nebula caught the cakes in Space Blocks and exploded them, but the Heartless survived and attacked her with candle fists. Nebula splorped one of the cakes upside-down above the other to make them splat, and when the third cake punched at her, she quickly made a portal for the fist to go in and punch itself.

There was a purple star tree with a Catch Card stuck in it. She flew up to get the card, and the person inside was Tiff, a light-yellow girl with a ponytail. "You know, before this, I told my brother that he was gonna become a trading card if he kept obsessing with them."

"Did he?" asked Nebula.

"Nope, they turned him into a bobble head."

"Oh, dear. Well, I'll keep an eye out." She put Tiff away. Nebula crossed the island to a spire that looked like a giant candle, its purple and white stripes spiraling upward. She made a Space Block stairway going up the candle, and from the top, she could see a tall, distant blue isle with orange icing. Nebula ignited the giant candle with Space Lightning, causing a glittery path to lead to said island. The path turned sideways and upside-down, but Nebula could make it a Gravity Path to stay on, keeping balanced on the narrow path and avoiding the Li'l Sparkies that looped around some parts.

When she arrived at the blue and orange isle, she was ambushed by a Mega Solrock and a Mega Lunatone. The Solrock had wide open eyes and was burning while the Lunatone was a brimming full moon. The Solrock made balls of fire appear around the isle that would fly at Nebula, who dodged and cast Starbursts back. The Lunatone made Psycho Spheres rain down, forcing Nebula to defend with a Space Block. Both Pokémon created a giant fireball and Psycho Sphere to collide into the platform, but Nebula splorped both forces behind the opposite casters and KO'ed them like that.

More star platforms appeared to take Nebula to the next landmass, which was bigger with large red mushrooms that had white icing. Dark Ztars rained around the field, with one of them aiming for Nebula every few seconds. The Ztars could pierce through her Space Blocks and hit her, so the only safe havens were under the mushrooms. A glittering river traveled through the middle, coming from a waterfall at the end. Nebula decided to dive in the river, finding a secret cave under the waterfall.

Inside was a Catch Card, containing a big-headed boy named Jimmy Neutron. "Say, you look like a strange one! Are you a denizen of the virtual world?"

"Not to my knowledge." Nebula put Jimmy away. She swum back to the mushroom field, where she jumped up a stairway of shrooms to get onto the waterfall's cliff. From there, she rode a slide down to a purple glass field on the surface of the sea. She slid across it like ice, but it seemed that shark fins were cutting across it on their way to her. She shot Starbursts at the Star Sharks when they jumped out, leaping over the broken parts they had cut as she kept skiing. By the time she was skiing through a more vast area, the sharks stopped appearing. (End song.)

"Sigh… At least I get a break." Nebula sat on the ice for a rest. "My spacebending's not what it used to be ever since I shrunk the planets… took too much energy. Once Jirachi's back, I'll be good as new. WAAAH!" A giant red tentacle burst up through the glass near her left, followed by another one further back.

A massive octopus erupted from the sea, and upon its head was its squid-faced tamer. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Davy Jones laughed. "Arceus could only have been thinking of ME when he conceived the idea of a Space KRAKEN-AH!"

"Davy Jones! So, you are alive after all. I'll fix that." She shot Starbursts up, but the Kraken caught them on his tentacles.

"This beast feeds on stardust, Lassie! With him under my command, I will sink all who sail upon the Galactic Sea. Starting with you, Nebula. Your soul will be MINE!" The Kraken smashed its tentacle down at her, Nebula jumping away as the glass shattered.

Nebula hurriedly skied across the sparkly field, watching for the tentacles' shadows and dodging away from those spots. Tentacles began to spring up in front of her, requiring more evasive maneuvers and leaping over broken areas. The ice took her across a narrow, snaky road, the Kraken smashing several parts and forcing her to make careful jump-turns. The ice was ending, so Nebula had to make Space Block stairs up to a straight, long isle over the sea. The path sloped up and down, and when Nebula looked back, the Kraken was charging a powerful beam. She was safe from the beam while hiding in the down slopes, but the beast was crushing the path as it followed her.

When the path sloped up, Nebula had to quickly shoot Cosmic Embers obstructing her, again filling them with Starbursts until they popped. The Kraken was charging another beam, and Nebula barely made it to the top in time, taking cover in another ditch to evade it. The path ended, but Nebula could continue fleeing over a series of floating star platforms. They were far apart and scattered, so Nebula had to float to them, but without warning, the Kraken would whack random platforms away, forcing her to redirect her flight path before she would tire.

The platforms led her to a floating rainbow slide, in which she had to maneuver around Kraken tentacles that sprouted up in random parts, then make a great jump to following slides before running off the current ones. She then landed on a star-covered road along the surface, running as fast as she could on high-heels as the Kraken chewed along the path. Jirachi's Egg Chamber was resting on the top of a rainbow fountain. _"RAAAAAH!"_ It seemed she would not reach it before the Kraken had dinner.

 _"VEERM!"_ Augustus mimicked the sound of a speeding car when he RAMMED the _Noah_ into the behemoth. _"You know, animals gotta stop jumping in front of gigantic vehicles, we can't see 'em!"_

"Just this once, I won't report you to PETA!" Nebula smiled in gratitude, making the quick sprint to the rainbow fountain and jumping up to the Egg Chamber.

Nebula slapped her hand on the chamber's hatch, a blinding light flashing out of it. It could be seen for miles over the Galactic Sea, shining like a mini sun. After the light faded, Nebula reopened her eyes. Jirachi's body drifted out of the egg, wrapped in his golden cape like when he was a baby. He opened his eyes and unwrapped his cape – which was now a whole cape instead of divided in two halves. His 10-year-old face was human, his star head was now a hat on white hair, and the rest of his white body looked like pajamas.

"Jirachi…" Nebula smiled.

"Hiya, Nebula!" Jirachi greeted energetically. "BOY, I slept greater than I did in 100 years! I don't even have that after-stiffness!"

"That's wonderful, Jirachi! I thought giving me your chi would've made you a little exhausted."

"Nah, I had plenty to spare! In fact, I might even have too much. WOO, I just wanna burn it off like a sun!"

"In that case, I know the perfect way." Nebula turned to the _Noah_ and called, "Augustus, play with Jones later! We're setting a course for Emera!"

 **Planet Emera**

The landscape around the Diamond Palace was a warzone—the Avengers fought alongside other heroes to battle Gem warriors, Heartless, and robotic Akuma. "Hm hm hm hm. How pathetic." Thanos chuckled, watching the conflict from his throne. "None of them even bother to face me. The least they can do is destroy my soldiers. But I can easily revive as many soldiers as I want. And if I wanted to… I can obliterate them all." Thanos frowned and stared at the colorful knuckles of his gauntlet. "Just like I did to the Avengers. Sigh…"

The Cipher Hotline rang. Thanos boredly answered. _"Big guy, I'm still waiting on that Madara resurrection. I'd like it now, before we get interrupted by something else."_

"Why should Thanos concern himself with incompetent underlings?"

 _"Because if we run out of incompetent underlings, then a certain Mad Titan ain't going to get the world of his dreams."_

"Have you forgotten? Thanos _already_ has the power to create the world of his dreams. And yet… it would feel so empty if I did. Sitting at the top of the cosmos, all the power I could ever hold… it feels lonely."

Bill poofed before him in a burst of flames. "Did you forget it was thanks to LORD ENGLISH you were able to have this much power?! You had better show your gratitude and do your part!"

Thanos flicked him away. "You are lucky Lord English is the only one stronger than me. Otherwise, you would not enjoy yourself so much. But as long as Thanos sits upon this throne, this universe is mine to control. No power can challenge me."

"Grrrr!" Bill rubbed his eye. "Listen you stupid oaf, you're about to bite off more than you can chew! If you don't revive Madara now, we won't be able to do the same for you-"

Thanos aimed his gauntlet as the Soul Stone glowed. "Shall I reduce you to your meager pre-existence, Child?"

Bill gulped. "Er… Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." He poofed.

Kimaya and Sector KB landed on the grounds close to the Diamond Palace. They watched as a small pod designed like a kitty head crashed near them. Nepeta stylishly flipped out of it, swiping her claws at two Pearls upon landing. "Thanos hasn't bothered to notice us, yet. He must be too busy staring at his claws. ;3 The rest of you should scat and battle the enemies. I'll lead Kimeowa to the- BIRDIE! !" She tackled Bon Clay Jr..

"YOWIE! I'm flattered, darling, but I gots allergies!" Clay frantically pushed her off. "Fellas, these ladies need their private time! Make sure these fools know it!"

"Agh! Guys!" Ruby grunted, clasping her head. "I think something's trying to control me! I feel—ERAAAH!" Her eyes went blank as she threw a flaming punch at Libby, who channeled Haki to her sword to block it.

"It looks like ve are having other plans!"

"Just do what you gotta do, girls!" Hibiki shouted.

"No probe, gay bros!" Kimaya drew her Keyblades. "Lead the way, Catgirl."

 _Stage F-9: Diamond Grounds_

 _Mission: Seal the Heart of Emera!_

Kimaya and Nepeta raced through a crystal fissure, slicing Pearls that jumped out from the corners. The fissure led to a chasm area with a narrow bridge, where three Amethysts were rolling across in their ball form. They unwrapped as the first one punched at Kim, who blocked while Nepeta leapt to the furthest back one. She stabbed her claws in its eyes and pushed it off the bridge. Kimaya used one Keyblade to block an Amethyst's fist and used the other to shoot it in the eye, afterwards knocking it off. Kimaya slashed the middle Amethyst from the front, Nepeta pushed it from behind, then Kimaya knocked it off during its imbalance.

Past the bridge, the girls were in a trench path, where a gem cannon was blasting giant bombshells from a platform at the end. "Stay by me!" Kimaya yelled. As she and Nepeta crossed the valley, Kim crossed her Keyblades in an 'X' to form a barrier that would block the bombshells. They drew closer to the cannon a few steps at a time, and when they were just below it, Nepeta pounced up and entered the cannon, attacking the soldiers inside. Nepeta peeped out and gave the claws-up. She and Kim climbed over the cannon and exited the trench to an open field.

Gem saucers flew over the field, shining attraction beams along the ground and trying to catch the girls. Kim and Nep were caught in one, and were quickly forced into a battle with two Pearls and three Amethysts. Nepeta zipped around the room and left a slashing claw trail that damaged the Gems, then Kimaya finished them by putting her Keyblades together, channeling Poison Chi, and blasting Gas Bombs. With the enemies dealt with, the ship dropped them back on the surface. They took care to evade other saucers to not waste time fighting. There was a Catch Card inside one of the green crystals, so Kimaya broke it free.

The person in the card was a tall, lanky man named Sheldon Cooper. "You know, it's bad enough that geology is considered a science, but the best thing about rocks is they had as much intelligence as a gun-slinger on crack."

"Yeh, and the best thing about cards is they shut the *** up or get bent." Kimaya put him away. The girls crossed the field to another entrenched route. A tall crystal pillar towered on the edge of a cliff, and Nepeta climbed to the top of it to make it lean toward a foothold. Kimaya crossed the chasm with the crystal, and when Nepeta hopped off it, it would stand back up. They would have to cross a series of crystals sticking out of the left trench wall. Nepeta stuck her claws in that wall, listening for vibrations with her keen hearing. She began to leap over certain crystals, telling Kimaya they were safe.

The girls made it to a tall crystal and had to climb it out of the cliff, changing position on it to avoid falling Li'l Sparkies. At the top of the cliff, one last field lay between them and the base of the Diamond Palace. A swarm of Akuma floated down to obstruct them. Nepeta's claw swipes and Kimaya's light bullets couldn't penetrate their armor. Suddenly, green energy blasts shot the Akuma—a white-haired boy in a blue coat and a girl dressed in black and red landed before the duo. The boy's left arm was a cannon and the girl wielded a scythe.

"Hi there! You kids on your way to that castle?" the girl asked.

"Don't try to fight the Akuma." the boy told them. "Only we can damage them. If you're trying to stop Thanos, we'll give you a way forward." He charged a laser and burned a hole through the Akuma swarm.

"Yo, can I try that gun one day?" Kimaya asked the girl.

"I don't see why not!"

"Hold ya to it." With that, Kim and Nepeta made a break for the palace, and every Akuma that tried to attack them was shot away by their new allies.

"This way! Down here!" Nepeta slashed open a crystal patch on the ground, revealing a deep dark hole. Kimaya shot a beam of light from her Keyblade to light the way down. "It's safe, don't worry." Nepeta began to Wall Jump down the hole, and Kimaya stabbed her Keyblades in the side to scrape down.

The two set foot on the bottom and progressed through the tunnel, Kimaya using her Keyblade light to see. "You really sound like you know your way down here."

"I did reconnaissance around this area a few times and found this tunnel. Karkitty mew it would come in handy."

There was a neon light at the end of the tunnel. Kimaya dispersed the light when they arrived at the chamber, gazing at the colorful shining heart floating between two crystals. "That's the Heart of Emera, where all the Ether comes from."

"Ohh, i'n't it… What's Ether, again?"

"Magic, silly! :33 The Diamonds all harnessed their power directly from the Heart, but now Thanos is using it. If you seal the Heart with your Keyblade, it'll block his control over the Gems. Of course, with no one stabilizing the Ether, this planet might explode. Hopefully, Crest has been rescued by now."

"'Hopefully'? If it's dangerous to seal, shouldn't we wait?"

"We need to beat Thanos as soon as pawsible, otherwise he'll k33p reviving the Darknesses. Besides, it's only a matter of time before the Heartless find this room. Just seal it, hurry!"

"Ah right!" Kimaya aimed both Keyblades at the Heart and cast a beam that sealed the Heart inside a rectangular barrier consisting of bright white, crossing bars.

 **Outside**

"Huh…?" The blankness in Ruby's eyes went away. "Guys, did I just black out?"

"Ruby?" Hibiki lowered his guard. All around the planet, the Gems were regaining a sense of conscience, with no memories of recent actions.

"Something's happening." Thanos observed, flashing his Power Stone. "I can't call energy from the planet, anymore. OOF!" A hammer crashed across his face.

"You look elsewhere, Thanos." Thor said as the Aven-Jet hovered close. "Perhaps this altitude has made your mind clouded."

"It's been a long time, Avengers. But it seems you have not learned from your mistakes." Thanos jumped and destroyed the Aven-Jet with one punch, but after flying through the smoke-

"Getsuga TENSHŌ! !" An orange-haired boy in a black robe slashed a black wave from his sword, cutting Thanos' face. "Guuh!" Ichigo was sucked into the Soul Stone. Thanos slowed his descent before touching the crystalline earth, and was approached by Naruto Uzumaki, Monkey D. Luffy, and Natsu Dragneel.

 _"Gum-Gum KING KONG GUN!"_ Luffy hurled his enlarged iron fist.

 _"Fire Dragon's BLAZING FIST! !"_ Natsu formed scales and charged Thanos in a flaming fury. Thanos warped away with the Space Stone, easily dodging the fearsome attacks and reappearing above to smash them into the ground.

"MASSIVE RASENGAN!" Naruto was ready to smash a giant energy sphere in his Nine-Tails form, but he was rewinded by Thanos' Time Stone until he was in his depowered form. Thanos then used the Mind Stone to put Naruto under submission.

"It's useless! I am the most powerful being in the entire multiverse! I have destroyed hundreds of worlds with a single punch! I ask anyone, who believes they have the power to truly challenge me?"

 ** _"THANOS. YOUR TYRANNY ENDS HERE AND NOW. SURRENDER TO ME OR FACE ANNIHILATION."_**

"HA HA HA HA! EMPTY THREATS! Who dares speak?!"

 ** _"I DO."_** Thanos looked up and gaped. Nebula D. Winkiebottom's face took up the entirety of the sky and more. **_"I AM NEBULA, THE GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE. I AM THE RULER OF ALL BEINGS AND DESTROYER OF THOSE WHO DISRUPT SPACE AND TIME."_**

"She, is, fucking huge." Ruby stared.

"Goddess Nebula? What an honor to grace your presence." Thanos bowed on one knee. "If you mean to challenge me… what power have you to display?"

 ** _"MY ARMY."_** A fleet of ships suddenly splorped around the sky. They were piloted by Glomourians, Kateenians, Harnitans, Amazonians, mermen, Nimbi, Mushroomians, and many more. **_"THE COSMOS'S DENIZENS ARE MY POWER. WE ARE KIDS NEXT DOOR. AND WE WILL DESTROY YOU."_**

Thanos grinned. He aimed his gauntlet, flashed the Soul Stone, and the goddess vanished from the sky.

Nebula, having been shrunk to normal size, landed on the _Noah_ 's deck. "That didn't last long." Jerome commented.

In seconds, Thanos warped up onto the _Noah_. "Very well, Goddess Nebula… I'll destroy you and the pitiful universe you protect!"


	13. Protector of the Cosmos

**School started again, so expect huge delays. Play "Final Boss 1" from _Sonic Colors_!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-13: Protector of the Cosmos_**

 _Boss fight: Thanos_

Thanos punched the deck of the _Noah_ , unleashing a burst from the Power Stone and blowing Nebula miles away from the ship. Thanos warped above her for a mighty punch, but Nebula warped away herself and blasted rapid Starbursts against his face. Thanos sported his smirk after the small amount of pain, using the Soul Stone to fire Ichigo's Getsuga Tenshō, which Nebula blocked with Space Block—Thanos punched his other fist through a portal that came out on Nebula's left, then up, down, punching her from all directions. Thanos warped behind, grabbed her, and threw her in a portal that crashed her on the _Noah_.

Thanos landed behind her, charging for a punch with the Power Stone. The second the fist flew, Nebula whipped around with palms raised and opened a vortex that vacuumed all the released power. She struggled to keep it open with how much Thanos released, but eventually he stopped. Nebula closed the portal, flew higher, then reopened it, blowing all the power back at Thanos. The force blew him all the way down to Emera's surface, so fast that he cracked miles of gem ground.

"That had to hurt him, Nebula!" Jirachi said excitedly.

"I don't think it's over, yet."

The GKND fleet closed on the area where Thanos crashed. The ground broke into shards as Thanos burst out—the ships bombarded him with cannonfire, but he caught the bullets in portals and redirected them at the ships, taking some down. "AGH!" An airwave cut him. The Glomour Princess, Liaziana landed on the surface and sliced a string of slashes across the air, making light cuts on Thanos' face.

"YAAAAHHR!" Chrysundra, the Amazon Leader, tackled Thanos from behind. "Come on, girls, teach him what gender is in charge!" A band of Amazons gang-piled on him, but Thanos pushed himself up and knocked them off easily. He began to punch away charging Amazons, but one bumped him forward, then another bumped him, and another, Amazons punched him one way and the next.

 _"GRAAAAAH!"_ The Reality Stone brimmed with its ghastly red color. Thanos began to grow until his glory could be seen for miles. _"Haven't you learned, YET? Puny-minded fools. I have not even used a quarter of my full power! I can bend space, time, reality, and make mush out of your mind and spirit! With a few mere thoughts, I can do THIS!"_ He channeled power to his brain from the Mind Stone.

Thousands of chunks of crystals ripped out of the ground and swirled in a maelstrom under Thanos' telekinesis. Before he had the chance to wash the fleet under the sea of crushing crystal, the gems were slurped inside a giant vortex conjured by a more massive Nebula. "You think yourself a goddess, Nebula?! Your mind is powerless before mine!" He focused the Mind Stone on her, and for a moment it seemed her mortal mind succumbed to his power.

 _"Think again, Thanos. I warped my brain to a pocket dimension. The dimensions are linked so I can still think, but the gateways push out other forces like your powers."_

"I'll just make use of the OTHER puny minds!" Thanos spread his power and brainwashed the GKND army. They all flew up to Nebula's face and shot at their goddess, so she had no choice but to splorp away. "You dare to hide from Thanos? I will find you…"

Nebula had made herself Kateenian sized and warped into Thanos' godly nostril. "Fortunately, I read Marvel Comics, so I know what each of his stones does. It seems the Mind Stone gives strength to his own mind, and with it he can manipulate others. So, it's the brain I should hit!" When she arrived at the humongous brain, it was sparking with psychokinetic power. Aware of her very presence, the brain zapped lightning, which she slurped into vortexes. She formed Space Blocks against the brain and exploded them, feeling the head quake under Thanos' pain.

 _"You dare attack the brain of Thanos?! Insects, snuff this vermin out!"_

"As you command, Your Godliness!" The Kateenian fleet came flying up the giant nostrils, shooting gas puffs in order to suffocate Nebula like a bug, but the gas was easy to slurp into vortexes.

"I don't wanna crush you, Minks, so step outside for a minute." She warped the Kateenians out of the head and expanded her own size. Nebula stormed Space Lightning upon the brain and could hear Thanos screaming outside. A light burst from the brain, followed by the sound of thunder. (Pause song.)

"Nebula, pass the ball!" Baby Tronta yelled.

"Wuh?" Nebula was a baby as well. She and her fellow operatives were in a kindergarten room, colorful and full of joy.

"Pass the ball, I said!"

"Oh… This one?" She was holding a ball with a star on it. She rolled it to Tron.

"Here, Kavy." He rolled it to Makava.

"Heere, Vwee." She rolled it to Vweeb, but his pea-size baby body got flattened under it. "Oopsie."

"Let us get!" Minksman and a squad of baby Kateenians helped push the ball off and back to Nebula.

"Uhh… Why we heere?" Neb asked.

"'Cause Mom and Dad gots work." Vweeb answered.

"But we fighting Thanos."

"Why fight?"

"Because Thanos bad."

"But fighting bad. I no wike fighting."

"But Thanos bad. We gotta to."

"Do you really think you're in such a position, anymore?" Thanos himself appeared, towering like a terrifying grown-up in the innocent playroom. "You should be a good girl and stay in this alternate reality I constructed. You would be happier… wallowing in your own drool."

"No! I beat you!" Nebula shot little baby Starbursts at him. "AAAAH! !" She felt horrible pain when they struck.

"In the reality _I_ create," said stone was glowing on his knuckle, "when Thanos feels pain, YOU feel pain! For example:" Thanos bit his other hand.

"OOOOOWW!" Nebula felt it in hers.

"Picking on defenseless babies? That's low." Sunni Chariton teleported in the room.

"Who are you?"

"About to get rid of this dumb reality!" Sunni focused, and with a burst of Psychic Chi, everyone was back to Emera. (Resume song.)

"What's this?! You hold powers over reality, too?!"

"That world was just an illusion you created. I just countered with a stronger mind and erased yours!"

"Danks, Sunni! Now we can… WAH?!" Nebula panicked. "WERE STILL BABEHS! !"

"Oh yes, have I showed you the Time Stone?" Thanos cocked a brow. "Here's another look." A bright green brimmed from the stone, further reversing the army's ages until they were zygotes, seedlings, or whatever pre-birth form the various species took. "Now it's only a matter of walking around and crushing each of you."

All the zygotes levitated to the air just then, collected in gravity fields that the Lunarian operatives conjured with their moonbending. "You missed a few of us!" Pyler, the violet-flamed leader of the Solarans, stood with Ruby and the fiery army of the Solar KND.

"Use that stone as much as you want!" Ruby fist-palmed. "We won't age a day before we WHALE ON YOU!" The flaming army rocketed toward Thanos, pushing him backward, then flying all directions around to burn him from all ends.

"Did somebody call us for a war?" George King announced as Sector IC arrived on their S.C.A.M.P.E.R..

"What are those eggs everyone's holding, Miyuki-chan?" Suki asked.

"He's transformed all the other operatives into eggs!" a Lunarian told them.

"I'll fix this." Miyuki declared, channeling her timebending. "You might feel a slight aging, you guys." A huge gray bubble grew around the field, aging everyone in its range until they were back to normal. "Huff…huff… Okay, I'll fix you now." She reversed her friends' ages, since they turned into adults in the process.

"Minions that alter reality, minions that control time…" Thanos observed with interest. "Your collection is more diverse than mine. How did you manage to acquire so many followers?"

"Well, here's your first hint!" Vweeb pounced up to Thanos' face. "It wasn't from making stupid YouTube videos." He punched the Mad Titan with enough force to make him stumble back.

"I have so many because I don't think of them as 'minions.'" Nebula stated. "I built my army with the promise of peace throughout the universe. But what do you prefer, Thanos? Pieces? Allow me to help with that." She opened portals at the bases of Thanos' limbs, severing them from his body.

"I'll hold onto THIS!" Mocha pinned the gauntlet arm down. "Ready, guys?"

"GOT IT!" Sind grabbed the gauntlet, and the rest of his Giant Squad grabbed him from behind, tugging the armwear with all their strength. "It's not… breaking… free! …"

The severed arm blew the giants off with a pulse from the Power Stone. "Did you not think I wouldn't see around such an obvious trick?!" Thanos said as the gauntlet hand formed its Keyblade. "With my Keyblade, I have locked the Infinity Gauntlet and the Infinity Stones to my very arm! I am one with the stones, which means I will forever be invincible!" The Keyblade glimmered, bringing Thanos' dimensionally-severed limbs back together.

"And that's not all it can do!" He raised the Keyblade skyward, contributing power with the Soul Stone. Mocha and the giants screamed when spiritual essence flowed out of their bodies, and the same thing happened with every other operative in attendance. He severed the souls and had them fly into gem shards, the ships, objects inside the ships, as well as their own weapons. All those lifeless objects grew faces and began to attack the kids. "I broke your souls into pieces and am now controlling the fragments! You can only reclaim those pieces by destroying the objects, but without them, your lifespans have diminished!"

The kids quickly began attacking the monstrified objects, but Thanos was slinging energy blasts from the Power Stone to mow down the forces. Nebula trapped Thanos in a Space Block to blow him up, but he withstood the attack and leapt for a godly punch. Nebula whipped open a portal to suck Thanos into the vacuum of Paradox Space, and she would follow him and expand in size. Nebula fired giant Starbursts, but Thanos punched them away and used Reality Stone to grow bigger than her. He followed this with the Mind Stone to telekinetically grab comets and other strange, beautiful features in the space, hurdling them at the child goddess.

Nebula opened portals to catch the objects, grew herself bigger than him, and reopened the portals to shoot the enlarged objects against Thanos. During his weakened moment, Nebula clapped the Titan in both hands and charged Space Lightning. However, Thanos broke out of her hands, flew up to her face, and PUNCHED the gauntlet with enough power to send Nebula flying, blood squirting out of her nose. "Now then… Goddess… time to destroy the worlds you protect!"

He warped to the _Noah_ 's deck and stormed inside the ship, searching each corridor. "Shrinking the planets was clever, but it was foolish to leave them so utterly vulnerable! I will crush each one in my godly palm! Ahh, this must be it." He punched open a door labeled _Planet Storage_.

"Get out!" Jirachi teleported Thanos outside the ship—a giant Starburst banished him further.

"Simple-minded Thanos. Don't YOU understand?" Nebula descended, mismatched hair blowing in a breeze. "My power is harnessed from the faith of the worlds' denizens."

Jirachi appeared beside her and brought all the planets, rotating around them in a spherical fashion. "I can hear them all. The voices of the worlds." Nebula brought Earth, Avalar, Coruscant, and Mushroom Kingdom to float between her fingers. "They kept me company on that boring old ship for three long years. Most of them feared me, but I would not betray them. And day after day, I could hear everyone speak their deepest desires. …Actually, I couldn't hear anything besides my own name, otherwise I would've gotten a headache. But Jirachi, you can hear their desires, can't you?"

Jirachi closed his eyes and listened to the planets. He heard billions and billions of voices. _"I wish I had a thousand pies—I wish Kimaya would come home soon—I wanna get that honey (Peter Griffin)—I wanna be in Fairy Tail—I wanna be in Kids Next Door—I hope Dillon and Nolan are okay—I wish we were there with you, Wendy—I want to become like Shiny Chariot—I HOPE THE UNIVERSE GETS SAVED!"_

"And now they trust me to make all their wishes come true." Nebula said. "Jirachi, give me their wishes so that I may crush this fool!"

"As you wish!" Jirachi opened his True Eye and released the Golden Light Wisp. It entered Nebula's body, granting her a gold cape and the mighty Galaxia Sword.

"This sword is created from billions of hopeful wishes from across the universe. When it cuts you, you will know the power of Desire, Thanos!"

"Your pitiful wishes are NOTHING to the power of INFINITY! I will unlock the full potential of the Infinity Stones and _CRUSH YOU ALL! !"_ (Play "Final Boss 2" from _Sonic Colors_!)

A blinding light shone from Thanos' Keyblade, drawing power from all six stones and coursing it through his body. His body turned black with bright blue outlines, displaying a cosmos inside. _"INFINITY THANOS! !"_

 _Phase 2: Infinity Thanos_

Thanos punched a massive purple ray from the Power Stone, Nebula blocking with the Galaxia Sword as the energy scattered everywhere. Thanos flew up to swing fearsome punches that Nebula quickly countered with the sword, each blow shaking the universe. Thanos warped behind and punched Nebula 10 miles away, and she dodged in time when Thanos warped up for another. She made 20 Space Blocks to explode him, but Thanos rewinded time to return Nebula to position and squeeze her in the gauntlet.

Nebula spun swiftly, flashing lightning from the sword, and called a storm of shooting stars to rain down on Thanos. Thanos used the Soul Stone to give the stars hearts, followed by the Mind Stone to control and have them attack Nebula. She slashed the Galaxia Sword at lightspeed to destroy the stars, but Thanos had the chance to punch her upward, warp in her flight path to punch her right, then down, then SMASH her between his fists—Nebula had actually warped before this, reappearing behind Thanos and opening a portal that exposed him directly to the heat of a sun.

Thanos warped away and used the Space Stone to open gateways to several alternate universes, moving those dozens of gateways toward Nebula and attempting to collide them against her for a terrific explosion. Nebula clasped the gateways in her own bending and struggled to close them. "JIRACHI! I need… more… POWER!" Jirachi granted his master's wish and transferred more chi, enabling Nebula to close the dimensions. She expanded the Galaxia Sword for more universe-shaking strikes at Thanos.

 _"MORE THANOS! !"_ The Infinity Titan used the Reality Stone to create an alternate universe with a thousand Thanoses. All of them lunged at her with gauntlets charged.

"JIRACHI!" Nebula sprung up a Star Shield to withstand their combined might. "Bring them here… to help me!"

Cheren Uno appeared in God Tier form. "Hope this makes up for missing the Dimentio assault!"

Liaziana, Minksman, Team Vweeb, the Giant Squad, and everyone from the GKND Army appeared. _"YOU MEAN TO USE THEM AS SHIELDS TO BLOCK THANOS?!"_ the Thanos Army shouted.

"Space is the Element of Openness! My friends are part of my open space, so they share my power!" Jirachi linked another energy beam with Nebula, who in turn divided it amongst all her operatives. They all attacked the Thanoses with even greater power—the Glomourians sliced them to pieces, the Kateenians zipped into their heads and tore up the Thanos brains, the merkids bent water and the Nimbi bent air into their bodies until they popped, the Bob-ombs exploded them like atomic bombs, and the Amazons could crunch the clones with a squeeze of the hands.

 _"GRAAAAARRRR!"_ The true Thanos began to grow beyond comprehension. _"THANOS IS THE MOST POWERFUL BEING!"_

"NO YOU'RE NOOOOOOT!" Nebula quickly outgrew him and tried to compress Thanos' size. "JIRACHI! MORE!" The Firstborn obeyed and gave Nebula the strength to catch Thanos in a Space Block and squeeze him into shrinking. Eventually, the block EXPLODED, and Thanos crashed down to the surface of Emera.

 _"GUAAAAAH!"_ Thanos was stabbed by 10 Glomourians. The Kateenians joined together to make a fist, combining their enhanced strength to SMASH him in the ground. Ruby and the Solarans became a colorful flaming drill that nearly pierced his heart. Toadette and the Toads climbed up on Thanos and jumped on him surprisingly powerfully. Mocha grabbed the Titan, swung him around, and hurled him to the sky, where Cheren and Nebula were hurdling down with their swords drawn. The Master Sword and Galaxia Sword pierced Thanos' heart like a golden comet. The Infinity Titan fell to the surface once more. (End song.)

"Okay… that DEFINITELY had to kill him." Jirachi smirked.

"This time for sure!" Vweeb fist-pumped.

They all waited for the smoke to clear. …Thanos was up on his feet, using the Time Stone to repair the wound. "BULLSHIT! !" Ruby burned.

"Don't you understand, yet?! Thanos can NEVER be defeated! So long as the Infinity Gauntlet is in my hand, I can battle forever!"

Nebula gritted her teeth. …She glanced up at Jirachi, then to Thanos. "It doesn't matter how powerful your gauntlet is, Thanos. In the end, the most powerful being here is Jirachi!"

"YOU bet!" Jirachi posed proudly.

"We kicked your butt just now thanks to his power! He's the strongest Firstborn we have in our possession! As long as we have Jirachi, we'll always be superior!"

"Uhh, thanks, Nebula?" Jirachi was confused by all this praise.

"And to think Jirachi isn't as powerful as he used to be. When he was first born, his power was incontrollable. It could've turned the universe upside-down. Thankfully, my mom was around to keep him stable. That kind of power could've destroyed a hundred universes and made a hundred more."

"O-ho-kay, Nebula, talking me up a bit much now." Jirachi laughed nervously.

"Face it, Thanos. You're in for a life of pain and suffering if you continue to fight us."

Thanos frowned, understanding his situation. "I see… so, even my infinite power falls short to his. …" He smirked. "I know what I must do now." Swiftly, he punched Nebula and Cheren away, warped up, and clutched Jirachi in his right hand. "Let us see your original power, Jirachi: one trillion years ago!" He used the Time Stone to reverse Jirachi's age, reverting him to the infant form he possessed for all those boring billions and billions of troubling years. "And GIVE IT TO ME! !" He touched the Power Stone to the newborn Star Child.

"JIRACHI! NOOOOO!" Nebula cried.

"YEEEEES…" Thanos could feel the incomprehensible energy. _"YES! AT LAST! IT IS MINE!"_ A blinding light swallowed Thanos, and through it, the silhouette of his ultimate form was seen. _"THE ABSOLUTE… power?"_ Thanos had become a baby the size of Jirachi, complete with a star hat made from his helmet.

 _"Kee hee hee!"_ Nebula and Cheren giggled.

"Um… Ahem, well, this is embarrassing." Thanos said. "Regardless: _POWEEEEERRRR!"_ He was bursting with so much of it that billions of stars were swirling around him and dimensions were ripping.

"Nebula, what've you done?!" Cheren yelled.

"Trust me!"

 _"AT LONG LAST, THERE IS **NO ONE** WHO CAN CHALLENGE **ME**!"_ The Infinity Gauntlet had fallen off Thanos' arm. _"THANOS HAS TRULY SURPASSED LORD ENGLISH!"_ Nebula watched through the cosmic storm as the gauntlet transformed into a dark Star Rod. _"I WILL RULE ALL UNIVERSES AND ALL EXISTENCE! I WILL CONTROL **ALL**! !"_

"Not so FAST, Thanos!" Nebula shouted. "Aren't you FORGETTING SOMETHING?!"

 _"Huh?"_ He looked down in confusion.

"You wanna be a Firstborn?! You GOT IT!"

A divided black cape formed on Thanos' back, along with blue ribbons on his star points. _"What is this?!"_

"Everything that goes with it!" Nebula grabbed the Star Rod and raised it.

The cosmic energy began to mold around Thanos' body. His cape wrapped around him as a purple shell formed from the energy. _"No! What are you doing?! Stop!"_

"Phenomenal cosmic powers!"

 _"I COMMAND YOU! YOU CANNOT HOLD THANOS! **NOOOOOOOOO** …!"_ The purple stone finished encasing the newborn Firstborn. Nebula softly caught it in her arms.

"100 years of sleeping in a rock."

"HAH! The 'wish you were a genie' trick! CLASSIC!" Cheren laughed.

"I know it is, Cherry. But we're not done, yet." Nebula raised the Dark Star Rod. "I wish the Infinity Stones would be lost again in their own world, and everything that Thanos did with the stones would become undone!"

The Star Rod glowed and broke into six colorful fragments that ascended to the sky. The worlds of Equestria, the Rugrats World, Bikini Bottom, and all the Gotham Cities – worlds that had been decimated by Thanos – all had their lives restored.

Ichigo Kurosaki was freed from the Soul Stone, the KND Army regained their pieces of soul, Jirachi was restored to 2nd Age, and Sapphire rematerialized. "Wow, Nebula… you… could not have POSSIBLY known that would work!" Cheren remarked.

"I thought of it as a last-ditch plan if we couldn't beat him normally. I figured he would buy into it, considering how much power I ordered Jirachi to give us. When I read more about Jirachi's origins, I learned that the Star Rod was born alongside him—it was a part of him, kind of like how Thanos merged the stones with his hand. The stone was automatically formed by the Star Rod to stabilize Jirachi's incredible power. It was definitely risky on my part, but I wouldn't have enacted this plan if I wasn't sure about it."

"Mmm… You're a great goddess, Nebula."

"I know, Cherry."

When the Infinity Stones' curses had been undone, the stone hatched and freed Thanos in his normal form. "Nnnnngggh…" He awoke in a daze. "Huh?" He looked up to a pair of giant high-heels and one of red shoes. …Nebula and Cheren towered over his miniaturized form. "Oh, damn."

Nebula shot a quick Starburst to KO the mini Titan. "Aww, that was mean." Cheren said.

"That was generous. Cough!" Nebula fell to her knees.

"You okay?"

"All that chi I lent her is having its after-effect." Jirachi noticed. "Her chi-paths are tired. I can't fix them myself without disturbing them."

"Will she be okay if she rests?"

"Yes. But maybe no more wishes for a while."

"Huff… It was worth it to show that bastard who's boss."

"Sapphire!" Ruby ran to her friend's aid.

"Uh… Ruby." The one-eyed Gem awoke. "You're back!"

"You're okay!"

They shared a hug. Cheren and Nebula smiled at their moment. "Sigh… And to think Lord English is supposed to be stronger than him."

"We'll beat him, Nebula. Just 8 more Darknesses to go and we'll be ready. But I think we can rest for a moment. We knocked out their strongest member. I'm feeling pretty good about this."

"Okay, Diwata," Karkat said to the moonbender, "you and Crest need to do your part. Surround this planet with moons and we'll be able to stabilize the Ether."

"You got it, Kittykat! Crest, let's moon this place up!"

"Yeah!" The Firstborn mustered his power and conjured hundreds of moons in the sky of Emera.

"Beautiful!" Kanaya beamed. "Of Course, We'll Also Have Diancie Help With Guarding This Planet As Well. I Would Like It If We Could Get The Gems On Our Side."

Ruby and Sapphire had regrouped with Pyler, the Solaran KND leader taking in the sights. "So, Ruby… this is the place you came from. This is your homeworld."

"It would appear so." Sapphire replied. "Would you like to explore it, Ruby?"

"Heck YEAH, I wanna explore it!" Ruby brimmed with an ecstatic flame.

"Heh, me too!" Pyler replied. "We finally get to see where you came from! And maybe we can even set up a Kids Next Door here!"

"That sure would be swell!"

"Hehe, you three go on ahead and do that." Nebula told them with a chuckle. "We'll probably need to keep defending this place from The Thirteen, anyway."

"Yeah, just wait until I teach these Gems how to fight!" Ruby exclaimed. "Lord English will bite the dust in no time!"


	14. Suki's Sadness

**So, I just got an orgasm after watching the new _Mario_ and _Zelda_ trailers. It made me realize I need to try to make these action stages more beautiful. But right now, this is more of a cool-down chapter because I've been sort of stressed out lately.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-14: Suki's Sadness_**

 **Bill's office**

"Uuuuugh!" Bill was on the verge of tearing his hair out. "Thanos, that useless idiot! I knew he was going to get his ass kicked, but the least he could've done was bring back Madara. LORD ENGLISH!" He bolted down a dark, eerie hallway composed of green chandeliers, green grandfather clocks, and other such items. He burst through double-doors into a casino and called, "My Lord, we have a problem on our hands!"

 **"OH, BILL! Come and meet the Billiard Boys!"** Lord English had his arms around two painted green creatures – one with an orange '13' helmet and another with a red '3' helmet. In English's left arm was a jug of beer. **"I just picked up these little balls with numbers on them and painted bodies! This guy wants to own a marshmallow shop and that guy over there wants to marry an Eskimo! CLOVER, don't break the slot machines!"** he yelled to the '4' hat guy, a pile of coins building up in front of said machines.

"Lord English, Thanos was beaten by the Kids Next Door! He was the strongest Darkness and he got his ass kicked! I think it may be time to take matters into your own hands."

 **"Did you even kill any of the Seven Lights?"** English asked as he chugged down the whole jug.

"Um, not quite, but we have Sheila's soul in our possession."

 **"Who gives a damn about Sheila?!"**

"She's ONE OF THEM, you dummy! One of the LIGHTS!"

 **"I don't have time to waste with this crap, Bill! I made you the boss of those guys so that I could focus on making my world! You've been listening to my PLANS, haven't you?!"**

"Yes, of course I have! But we haven't killed anyone except for a few useless minors! And now that they have Jirachi back, they'll be able to do anything they wish!"

 **"Let them make the stupid wishes! Thanks to that trick Thanos pulled, I'll be able to have a jillion more."** Looking into his empty jug, he whistled for a young woman in a coat to come over. Lord English grabbed her and squeezed the years from her life into the jug. He dropped her and drank the yeer (a beer made of years).

"What are you talking about?"

 **"Have you forgotten that the Darknesses contain parts of my will? If they are destroyed, then that will returns to me! Including the pieces of it that used their powers…"** Lord English raised a hand and conjured a small moon. **"One by one, the Darknesses are capturing and using the Firstborn's powers, if only for a brief time. But as long as my will controlled it in Past, then I will have ALWAYS controlled it!"** Flowers grew from that moon. **"If the Firstborn's powers are mine, then I can rewrite them as well! And soon, I will have Arceus's…"** His left eye became a Sharingan.

"Yeah, I remember all that, but we can't just let the Darknesses be killed. What about the Protection Charm?"

 **"I just want them to kill the damn Lights so I can get rid of Calliope for good! Then after I wipe out Arceus, I can just bring them back myself if I want to. Until then, I don't care what happens as long as they do what I say!"**

"Shouldn't we not be too risky about this? I mean, they are your loyal minions."

 **"WHAT GOOD ARE MINIONS IF THEY DON'T CARE FOR THEIR MASTER'S DREAM?!"** he thundered and towered above Bill terrifyingly. **"They should screw everything to give me the world I want—the whole UNIVERSE should SCREW OFF! I thought you woulda known that better than any of them! Why do you give a shit about the Darknesses?"**

"Because I'M the one who did all the work gathering them, organizing them, deceiving gods and random supervillains just to GET them, while YOU spent your precious time trapped between dimensions and sitting at your computer desk! If it weren't for me, you would've been forgotten!"

 **"And you came from me TOO, Bill! You did all those things because I WANTED you to! And I can ERASE you, despite that piss-ass human body! So, make yourself worth your existence and erase those useless brats! I WANT 'EM GONE, BILL! ALL OF THEM!"** The casino quaked—slot machines erupted with coins that then rewinded—the playing cards turned back into trees—a rift opened and exposed a man showering with a Lucy Heartfilia body-doll. **"And I want YOU boys to turn back into balls!"** he ordered the Billiard Boys. **"I'm in the mood for flicking you around a table."** At his command, the green minions hopped on the pool table and poofed into their ballish forms.

Bill bolted out of the casino after his tantrum. Dimentio happened to be outside. "You shouldn't be sad, Bill. The closest friends are bound to fight. Where there's light, there's darkness after all. But I am honored that you care for our lives so deeply. Or, could it be… it is your own life you fear for?"

"I have nothing to be afraid of. The Kids Next Door won't kill me in the real world if they want to save that Madotsuki brat. I'm just afraid that His Lordship's competence isn't fully developed, yet. The Darknesses may yet need further assistance…" He poofed into flames.

"Hmm… Well, I suppose I should get back to finding the IDA's headquarters." Dimentio said to himself. "Imagine the dimensional technology they possess. The limitless potential… But first, perhaps _I_ could attempt to assuage His Lordship."

Lord English turned his golden peg-leg into a pool cue, going to the billiards table and positioning himself to hit the '2' ball. "This is a beautiful castle, My Lord." Dimentio approached him. "I cannot imagine a more relaxing abode for the Writer of the Universe. Yet, you seem terribly stressed. Why remorse, knowing that victory will be yours in the end?"

 **"I don't know, Dimentio. I guess I still have a headache from that dumb Zach trick. Just when I thought I figured Calliope out, she pulls that shit…"** When English hit the '2' into the '13', they ricocheted and hit every other ball, all bouncing around the casino like little comets.

"I know the feeling, My Lord." A ball whizzed through Dimentio's space-made head. "Little sisters can be very annoying. Perhaps the Kids Next Door need another reminder of our power. _Then_ they will again fear you. Let's do it, English! Let's combine our chis and perform a Chi Unison!"

 **"Very well, Dimentio. I guess I'll lend Aizen a hand while we're at it."** Lord English closed his eyes and pressed his hands to Dimentio's. Both kings channeled their Logia powers to a center.

 _Oooooohhh yes! So beautiful! This power!_

Somewhere in Paradox Space, a gigantic green clock tower materialized over an ice planet. **_BONG. . . ._**

 **Hivebent**

Nebula chucked the Mini Thanos into the Penance Chamber and slammed the door shut. "ZEE HA HA HA!" Blackbeard laughed. "Even the mighty Thanos was no match to a couple of kids!"

Thanos leapt up and PUNCHED Teach in the side of the head, strong enough to make the pirate topple over. "Thanos is STILL the strongest one in this chamber!"

"Sigh… Like animals in a cage." Nebula shook her head.

"Are you sure it's okay to keep all of them together like this?" Cheren asked Ford Pines.

"Positive! We tested this cell on the Dimension Rebels and they didn't leave a scratch on it." Ford knocked the glass proudly.

"That's good to hear, I guess. …Mr. Ford, you used to live in Gravity Falls, didn't you?"

"Why, yes I did. How do you know that?"

"There's two people I'd like you to meet. They're upstairs, I'll take you."

 **Feferi's room**

"Sniff-sniff…sniff…" Suki Crystal had her face buried into her father's chest. "Daddy… I'm sorry we weren't there. We coulda saved you from the mean ice lady." She turned around and asked, "Miyuki-chan, can't you bring him back with timebending?"

"Yeah, like you guys did for me back in Arendelle." Terry recalled. "Why not?"

"I…I suppose that we could…" MaKayla said. "I mean, we need as many people as possible to combat Lord English… natural laws don't even matter. So…" She raised the Chrono Staff and Rewinded the hours on Yuki's body. "That's strange… his wounds are fixed, but he's still dead."

"I may know w)(y t)(at is." Feferi Peixes said.

"Why? And please talk normal." Terry requested.

"When Arceus first made our dimension without making law, spirit entities naturally formed from elemental chis and took charge in those areas. One of those spirits was Hemera, a Life Spirit. She collects dead souls and lets them live on a ghost planet. She's kinda nice, but she's real picky on who should come back to life sometimes, so I'm thinking… maybe she's the reason timebending ain't working on yo' dad?"

"So, in a universe without Balance, there actually are spirits making rules?" Kayla asked.

"Sometimes, we think these spirits exist to _fix_ this dimension with rules. White Diamond was one of them."

"Sector IC?" Cheren knocked on the doorway. "I know you guys are having a moment, but I thought I'd introduce you… George, MaKayla, this is Stanford Pines." The 12-fingered man walked in.

"Stanford… _Pines_?" repeated Kayla.

"You sound like you know that name." Ford inferred.

"We heard about you. You're our… grandfather."

"You mean… you're Ruford's daughter?"

"Our dad's name is Ruford?!" George yelped.

"I don't believe this." Ford scratched his mind. "It feels like I only fled my dimension mere months ago. And now… I have grandchildren. Where is your father?"

"Um… he's dead." Kayla bowed her head.

"It's a bit of a complicated story." Cheren followed.

"What else is new around here, heh heh!"

"Right now, we're in the middle of another one." MaKayla turned to Yuki. "Their father was killed recently. I tried to use timebending to revive him, but it's not working."

"So, you're timebenders, too… I wanted to study my son's use of the abilities because not many books record how timebending works. But now is not the time for that, I suppose. Still… I'm very happy to meet you two." Ford put a hand on George and Kayla's shoulders. "I wasn't there for my son… but I want to be with you kids as much as possible."

"Thanks, Mr. Pines." George smiled. "I mean… Grandpa."

Miyuki, unable to feel any warm emotions, looked back to her sister and father. "I…I need to step out." She calmly left the room as Cheren joined her.

"Where you going, Sister-chan?" Suki called.

Miyuki paid her no response. She said to Cheren as they were walking, "I knew our father's death was coming. I didn't say anything to Suki. She's been upset ever since we explained the quest to her."

"I thought Suki still didn't know what we were doing." Cheren sported a laugh.

"She's just acting. I explained during the voyage and she couldn't stop crying. She's too young and too innocent to comprehend such a responsibility. Even more so than we are. I considered wiping her memory about the knowledge, but I knew she needed it. Instead, I told her to pretend I never mentioned it and all this was for fun. It's what she learned from Jack Frost. It's what gives her Light. Having joy and fun."

"Poor kid…"

"I know. And I can't bring myself to darken that light with a responsibility. What do you think I should do?"

"She's your sister, Miyuki. I think only you can decide. However, I think I know somebody we could ask: those new people that came back with us. They were the ones from that fake Poneglyph in Enies Lobby."

In the base's living room, Chris Uno appeared to be chowing down spicy foods alongside Natsu, and Ruby Rose was telling Kimaya about her scythe. Other operatives were eating the packed lunches Yuzu made for them before the journey. Miyuki recognized the orange-haired boy—specifically, she recognized the black robe he was wearing. Miyuki approached him and said, "Excuse me. Your name is Ichigo Kurosaki, isn't it?"

"Hm? Y-Yeah. You've heard of me?"

"You wrote my sister's Poneglyph. The one that made her one of the Seven Lights."

"Poneglyph? What are you talking about?"

"Hey, I heard of those things!" Luffy jumped him from behind. "They're those big square stones with weird writing on them. Wait, how do YOU know about Poneglyphs?"

"Are you kidding? You were the ones who wrote them!" Cheren argued.

 _"We did?"_ the two chorused.

Cheren couldn't think of a rebuttal. "You don't… remember?"

"Um, Cheren?" Vriska fluttered above them. "I think you're thinking of something that happens in the future… or should I say something that will have happened. The point is, if these guys don't know what they did, they pro8a8ly haven't done it."

"Tell that to my teachers. What are they even doing here, then?"

"We're here because our worlds were destroyed by Lord English!" Ichigo shouted. "The IDA rescued us and we all formed a team! Isn't that why YOU'RE here?"

"Ain't you people from the same worlds the Darknesses are from?" Kimaya asked, overhearing the conversation. "You should know how to fight them, right?"

"Hey, I tried to fight Zeref, but that Key-thing made him stronger!" Natsu shouted.

"Well, we got Keyblades, too! Ain't you give 'em to us?"

"We don't have weapons like those, only Sora does." Naruto responded. "He's somewhere else right now."

"4HHH! TH4T'S R1GHT!" Terezi poked her forehead with her four right fingers. "COW G1RL! YOU MUST GO TO L4ND OF LOCKS 4ND S3CR3TS! That's where the Keyblade Wielder waits!"

"You mean the guy who wrote my Gibberish Cube? Can he help me?"

"Y3S. There's just one problem: TH3R3'S NOT 4 ST4BL3 GROUND 1N TH4T WORLD! That's why 1'M going to take you with me. And YOU! 3MO G1RL!" She whipped her walking stick toward Miyuki. "Tell your hivemate to stop crying! You still need to go to Frost and Frogs!"

"Suki is upset right now. Give her some time." Miyuki reasoned.

"YOU'RE THE F**KING TIMEBENDERS." Karkat shouted. "We can't give you _our_ time because it's ***ED UP. We need to keep acting fast if we're gonna win this war."

"We defeated the strongest Darkness, give us at _least_ another hour or two." Cheren stated. "Heck, with Thanos' Infinity Stones undone, Davy Jones should be toast too, right?"

"Ahem… Bad News." Kanaya coughed, viewing her computer. "The _King Dutchman_ Is Closing In On Our Hideout And Davy Jones Is Sailing It."

"HE'S STILL ALIVE?! But it was Thanos that brought him back, right?!"

"I Don't Know The Details. I'm Going To Hide The Base Now." She began typing quickly. "Compressing Exterior To One Square." Outside, the purple squares hid inside one-another. "Compress To One Dimension." The single square became a string.

"Wait, isn't the _Noah_ outside?"

"Nope!" Jirachi beamed, reaching under his hat and taking out a three-inch-long _Noah_. "I shrunk it down to make it more hideable! The planets are still nice and safe inside."

The _King Dutchman_ calmly sailed by without detecting the one-dimensional string. "No sign of the Gummi Ship, Captain." Koleniko reported.

"Hmph… I feel trickery is afoot. Drop Akuma and have them scour the region-ah."

"As you command, Captain Jones." grinned the Millennium Earl. A hatch opened on the back of the vessel, releasing swarms of Akuma robots.

"It's those robots again." Nepeta frowned worriedly.

"Akuma can only be destroyed with Innocence." Allen Walker mentioned. "It's a kind of power that exists in my world. I modified Ruby's weapon to use Innocence and we have some for the rest of you at our own hideout."

"As soon as we get away from this region, we can fly there real quick and bring you some." Ruby Rose said.

"Looks like we're getting that hour's rest after all." Cheren said with a grin. "Miyuki, maybe you should try to comfort Suki. There must be something you can say to her."

"You're right… I'm going to try. Couldn't be hard, right?" She cracked a light smile. "If I could come out of depression, I should be able to bring Suki back."

"Well, that's another reason she needs you. You're more used to it!"

"Hm hm hm! I guess I am." She turned to head back to Feferi's room- "Oop!" She flushed and quickly pressed her hands to her belly.

"Something the matter?"

"Uhhh… It's nothing." Still blushing, Miyuki straightened herself up and continued walking. Terezi cocked a brow, having whiffed an odd scent from the girl.

 **Land of Wind and Shade**

Sugar, Meloetta, and Charle landed their ship on the indigo planet's surface, attracting attention of the local salamanders. "This is where Wendy's transmission came from." the Nimbi said. "But it doesn't look like she's here, anymore."

"One of these salamanders might know!" Meloetta suggested positively.

"I hope you have a translator, because I don't speak salamander. I don't even speak cat."

"I understand ALL _voiceeeees_! _Everybodyyyyy haaaas a voiiiiice."_

"Meloetta understands every language." Sugar briefed with a giggle. "She wouldn't be the Song Goddess if she didn't understand every sound in the universe."

"Excuse me, but we do speak English." a salamander said.

 _"I saaaaave the daaaaay agaaaaiiiin!"_

"Hey, have any of you seen a girl with blue hair?" Sugar asked.

"What's that over there?" he gestured to his right. The girls briefly saw some blue hair go into a cave.

"Wendy!" The girls pursued as the glow from Meloetta's wings helped light the cave. It seemed to slope downward, and by the time they were at the end, they found the blue-haired girl in question. However, this one was shorter than Wendy and had a lighter green dress. She turned and said with an adorable voice, "Miiii!"

"You aren't Wendy." Charle said.

 _"Hm hm hm. You THOUGHT it was Wendy…"_ a sinister voice spoke from the darkness. He stepped forth, "But it was ME! **DIO**!"

"YOU AGAIN!" Sugar yelped at the golden-eyed man.

"Who is this child?!" Charle demanded.

"This is just a useless brat from a useless Japanese village." DIO smacked the child aside. "I hypnotized her into leading you here so I could trap you." He seemed to warp behind the girls with lightspeed and freeze an ice wall to seal the way back.

 _"OOOOAAAAH!"_ Sugar screamed a Song Beam, which DIO blocked with his hand and froze up to her mouth.

"He froze Sugar's voice?!" Meloetta exclaimed. "UECK!" The Firstborn was grabbed by the neck by a golden arm that stretched out of DIO's body.

"Perhaps you would like to _breathe_ now." DIO said as he strolled up to Sugar. "The burden of breath vexes all humans. Without it, they could be unstoppable. Powerful!" Once beside Sugar, whose throat was still clogged with ice, he tilted her head up to stare into her eyes. "Do you feel it? Your life slowly slipping away? I can rid you of the burden of breath. Swear yourself over to me and I can make you immortal. A beautiful woman like you shouldn't die like this…"

 _I can't speak… I can't breathe… His eyes…His eyes are so…_ Sugar's own eyes were lost in his.

"Become my bride and you can live forever. You will rule the world beside me…"

"Leave her ALONE, you cretin!" Charle tried to stamp DIO with her high-heel, changing position to hit other parts of his head. "She's not an object and you don't deserve to TREAT her as such!"

DIO yanked the Nimbi down and clasped her face. "You mean nothing to me, useless pest." He was about to crush her—

A beam of light burst through the ice wall and struck DIO, dropping his hold on all three girls. "So, it was YOU after all." A muscular boy of 18, with brown hair, a red tank top, and gloves studded at the knuckles stepped past the ice. "DIO!"

"It can't be! JoJo?!"

"These two know each other?" Charle looked between them. "Huh? Sugar, are you alright?"

Sugar still looked like she was in hypnosis. "That guy… is so… HOT! !" Hearts fluttered around Sugar, and nothing else existed except this guy at this moment.

"Please, tell me something I don't know." JoJo smiled proudly, speaking with a charming British accent. "You seem like a gorgeous young woman, but I'm already dating someone. So, instead of wasting your breath on compliments, save your breath and get your heavy boobs out of here."

"Why, I NEVER!" Charle huffed.

"FINE, I'll show my boobs to someone else!" Sugar yelled with a blush. "You big-a jeeeeerrrk!" She switched to a flirty look. "Hurry up, Meloetta!" Sugar and Charle escaped from the cave first.

"Call me!" Meloetta winked at JoJo before gliding past.

The trio escaped from the cave, but the salamanders crept up on them with snarling teeth and red eyes. "They've been turned into monsters?!" Sugar questioned.

 _"We serve Lord DIO!"_ one of them hissed.

 _"No one defies Lord DIO!"_

Sugar and Meloetta blasted Song Beams to blow the salamanders down. "Vaati must have taken my daughter somewhere else!" Charle said as she flew higher for a better view. "But where? Given their speed, they could be halfway across the planet."

"Wait, Charle!" Sugar stared at her wristwatch when it started beeping. "Wendy's transmitting a signal again! Let's return to the Song Bird and follow her!"

("Sugar's ship is a bird with rainbow wings." Meloetta whispered to the readers.)

"Transmitting her location, but not bothering to call… Just what is that child planning? Perhaps we should be cautious as we're tracking her."

"Good idea. Come on, let's hurry."

While the girls returned to the Song Bird and took flight, JoJo was able to keep DIO preoccupied. _I can't stay and waste time with this fool._ DIO thought. _After all… it seems they still need me. I wouldn't want to disappoint._

 **Land of Crypts and Helium**

Ganondorf had been exploring a vast, dead gray planet with colorful balloons drifting within its atmosphere. He had come here following a creature with a pair of angel wings, but he seems to have lost sight of it. His Cipher Hotline rung and disturbed the silence, so Ganon begrudgingly answered. "This had better be important."

 _"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Ganon. I need you to go back up Zeref at the Planet Tree pronto. Now that we lost our control of the Gem Empire, Arianna and Celebi are about to head back and try to revitalize it. You still have Thanatos in your company, don't you?"_

"Yes."

 _"Thanatos' Death Chi should be compatible with Zeref's Death Magic. They may be from different universes, but the two powers have similar properties. That'll give Zeref the kick he needs to turn that forest into the universe's biggest tumbleweed! Do away with any interlopers while you're there."_

"As you command." he responded with resent as they hung up. "Wake up, Thanatos!"

"I'm awake, I'm awake!" The green snake slithered out of his armor. "You know, I considered doing a little house-cleaning in there, but BOY, was it… L-Let's just not talk about it."

"The God of Death should find it accommodating. Now, come. We have business up on the Planet Tree." He flapped his cape and took flight off the planet, bypassing three large balloons. An angel-winged figure watched from behind a balloon, wearing an angel mask complete with a halo and a black shirt with a red ':)'.

* * *

 **Apologies for the shortness, but next chapter will feature a Darkness fight.**


	15. Life and Death

**Sorry for the rushedness, I was busy. Sigh, it was the worst night.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-15: Life and Death_**

 **The Planet Tree**

Team Vweeb returned to the Planet Tree and followed Arianna's signature to a part of the forest that was still alive. "There she is!" Makava pointed. In a small area with large flowers, Arianna was resting under a sunflower, catching breath and holding Celebi's light sphere in her hands. She sat up when she heard the ship come down for landing.

"Arianna, you okay?" Tronta asked as they climbed out. "Nebula defeated Thanos and broke his control over the Gems."

"That explains why they retreated… I didn't think I could last another moment."

 _"Arianna, we have to get down to the Planet Seed."_ Celebi's voice echoed. _"Before Zeref does, we must hurry!"_

"Sigh… you're right, Celebi." She pulled herself to her feet. "We have no time to rest. It's time to do our part and defeat another Darkness."

"Count us in, too!" Makava drew swords.

"Hm hm hm! I'm very grateful, but I'm afraid only Celebi and I can defeat Zeref. The only thing I can think of to counter Death Chi is Life Chi."

"That doesn't mean we can't help." Vweeb cocked his Tri-gun. "You know they're just gonna get more desperate with Thanos beaten. No operative can afford to be left alone."

"He's not kidding there." Tron whirled his Light Discs. "The ship can take care of herself." He pressed a wristwatch button and had the Nova Cruiser take off automatically. "Come on, gang! This war's nearing its halfway point, so we can't stop now!"

"Right!" Ari cheered. "Don't worry, Celebi. You'll have your body back soon!"

 _"Thank you, Arianna! I'll lead the way down!"_ (Play "Up the Cavern Walls" from _Ori and the Blind Forest_!)

 _Stage F-5: The Planet Tree, Act 2_

 _Mission: Restore Celebi and save the Planet Seed!_

Celebi's ball of light led them down a path of flowers, and Piranha Plants wasted no time in sprouting up to gnash on their prey. Makava used a Hurricane Spin to mow down the Piranhas, making it to a field on the bottom. The field consisted of unbudded flowers, which would not stay budded even if Arianna used her plantbending. _"Not all plants will respond to bending. They require more natural tending."_ Celebi said.

"Are those sprinklers natural?" Vweeb noticed the large sprinkler devices around the field.

"Not… naturally. But perhaps we can use them." Across the field was a tall platform that Ari could climb onto via vines. Up there were bushels of Water Bulbs; small plants from which balls of water hung from. Arianna levitated the plants and molded the bulbs together to make them larger. She then attached them to pumps on the sprinklers, triggering them to spin and squirt water. When the three sprinklers were fully active, all the flowers bloomed and flew to make a pathway over a chasm.

There were several gaps in the flower path, but Tron could throw his Light Discs, which would expand energy platforms around and allow the group to hop across. The flowers brought them to a thick, smooth vine that stretched down a pit. As they hung on and slid down, they had to swerve around the vine to avoid brambles that poked out of the sides. They set foot on ground and viewed into a cave congested with spiked fungi. Opposite of it was another cave where Toxichu dripped from the ceiling.

At the end of the cave was a big hole with a sloped floor. Vweeb volunteered to slide down and investigate, and he found a Catch Card of a goth girl with purple lips labeled _Samantha_. "I'll save ya." Vweeb shrunk the card down for easy carrying.

"Careful, it's-!"

"WHOA!" A Piranha Plant nearly snapped them—Vweeb hurriedly hopped up the slope and back to Arianna's hands. They saw the Piranha retreat back when it realized it failed.

"It's a Putrid Piranha." Arianna recognized by its yellow head and orange spots. "I wonder… Vweeb, stun those Chus." Vweeb nodded and shot stun rays to make the toxic blobs curl up into balls. They rolled Toxichus into the Piranha's hole, and the poisonous plant munched them happily, slithering out a little further with each bite. They kept feeding until the Piranha Plant made it to the fungi cave, and the poison spikes became a banquet for the creature. The kids walked alongside the Piranha's spike through the cave, finding a chamber where tall Putrid Piranhas bathed in a toxic pool.

Vweeb was first to hop across their friend Piranha's head and leap around the other ones like stairs. Makava went first in jumping the plants, which would sink slightly before rising back to position, so they all needed to go one at a time. The Piranha path took them down a tunnel over a toxic river, where they set foot on a platform along the left wall. From here, they swung dangling ceiling vines that were obviously Piranha tongues, but the plants failed to eat them in time. They grabbed a vine wall and dropped to a surface platform. They had to carefully bounce Piranha heads on the river's surface until they arrived at a wide, open chamber.

"Uh-oh! They're here!" exclaimed a Team Rocket Agent atop a ledge. "Get them, Meganium!" He threw a Darkball and released a Mega Meganium, which seemed to have a flower garden along its back and one on its head. The Meganium charged a Dark Solar Beam, so the kids scattered to dodge it. Arianna grew a Fire Flower from one of her pots and squirted flames at the Plant-type, Tronta tossed bladed Frisbees around the neck, and Makava cut its body.

Meganium whipped giant vines that Arianna grabbed with brambles. She used Life Chi to strengthen the brambles' spikes and yank Meganium's vines off. She furiously whacked the Pokémon with the brambles until it was down and out. "UAAAAH!" They saw the Rocket Agent was pushed off his perch.

"Useless fool." said Ganondorf Dragmire as he leapt down to them. "Man, that Dio is giving me some bad habits."

"G-Ganondorf!" Makava stuttered, swords shaking in her hands.

"Let me see… Ah, yes. You're Nova's daughter." Ganon smirked at Ari. "She was the Firstborn Guardian I remembered the least well. So pathetically usele—dammit, Dio!"

"We'll show you useless!" Vweeb charged a Powuh Shot and fired, but a raise of Ganon's palm was all it took to block it.

"I don't like to waste time." Ganon charged a strike of lightning, the kids scattering, but in his haste to shoot Arianna, the white-robed figure zipped in his line of sight and caught the lightning on his sword.

 _"Then don't waste theirs."_ the figure remarked.

"Who are you?" Makava yelled.

 _"An acquaintance. Just get going and I'll distract Ganon."_

"You sure you can handle him?" asked Vweeb.

 _"YOU wanna handle him, Shortstuff?"_

"Okay, we'll leave it to you. C'mon, team!" Vweeb hopped on Ari's shoulders, and they quickly climbed the vines to the ledge where the agent was.

"You won't escape-!" Ganon charged another lightning bolt, only for the figure to attack.

 _"I know she's in your pocket, Gramps! Give her back!"_

Team Vweeb briefly slid down a steep slope and landed in a water cavern. "'Guess all we can do now is swim." Makava figured.

"You guess wrong!" Vweeb used swift Kateenian speed to skid across the surface. The friends giggled and began to swim after him and Celebi. Mega Quagsires swum after them; these Pokémon had huge flipper tails. When one flipped its tail down on Vweeb, the strong tiny leapt up and punched back with greater strength. He grabbed another Quagsire's tail and whirled around to smash the other one. Makava dove underneath to stab one of the Quagsires that recovered.

There was an exit out of the cavern to their left, but straight forward was a dead end with two rows of unbudded flowers going up. Arianna used bending to bloom the flowers, which all tilted vertically. Vweeb was small enough to Wall Jump the flowers and find a small cave with a crumbled-up Catch Card. He shrunk it to scale and unraveled it: the card held Shino Aburame, a man in a green hood, sunglasses, and a Hidden Leaf Ninja headband.

"Curious creature. Would you like to be in my bug collection?"

" _You're_ the bug, Dumbo." Vweeb stashed him with Sam. He went to rejoin his friends as the cave exited to a pretty outside field. Mega Bellossoms danced around the field with neon dresses and aimed to attack them, but the operatives were quick in retaliating. They combed the whole field until all the Pokémon were defeated. A road of purple flowers floated over a chasm, but the flowers went invisible when they got close.

"Shrinking violets?" Arianna raised a brow.

"More like Shy Vies." Vweeb said.

 _"They won't show their selves as long as they see you."_ Celebi said. _"Make yourselves unseen somehow."_

"Wait guys, I hear something over there!" Tron pointed across the field. "It's some sort of moving flower."

"I don't see anything." Makava replied. "Wait, those flowers look like something's kicking them. Tron, if you see it, go and catch it!"

When Tronta gave chase, the unseen flower panicked and tried to run. Tron's speed proved superior, and upon snatching it, the flower emitted some spores that made Tron vanish. "Where'd he go?!" Vweeb exclaimed.

They saw footsteps stomping across the flowers back to them. "Guys, check me out! I'm invisible!"

"Amazing! Tron, use the flower on us!" Ari requested. In seconds, the four aliens were all invisible. The Shy Vies freely showed themselves as the aliens crossed. Like the other flower path, there were big gaps that required Tron's Light Discs, but because the discs were invisible as well, they needed him to throw them on the platforms (his better senses could detect them well). They were slowly regaining their visibility, but they set foot on a safe ledge before it happened.

Not far, they noticed a short blonde person swaying her hips. "Huh? Hey, who's there?" Tron called.

The person whipped around and revealed to be a Shy Guy Bandit. "Na na na-na na!" He wagged his Catch Card and bolted.

"Hey!" Makava was first to give pursuit. They raced through a forest of giant trees that tried to stomp their roots down, the group making swift jumps or ducks. The Bandit hopped large leaves up the trunk of a tree, the aliens mimicking the motion, followed by having to ledge-grab across a beanstalk. They ziplined a vine down to a series of large flower platforms, jumping carefully lest they fall down the pit. Large Fire Piranhas were perched on some flowers and coughing giant fireballs that made jumping trickier.

The chase resumed on solid ground again, but the Bandit was still far from capture. "You'll go no step further." A black-clothed butler landed in the Shy Guy's way and cracked its neck.

"Zeref!" Makava yelped. "Wait, no it isn't…"

"Where in the world WERE you, Sebastian?!" demanded Ciel Phantomhive, the boy in the Catch Card. "That creature did… horrible things to me!"

"Forgive me, My Lord. Hijacking one of these heathens' ships proved to be rather tasking… but what kind of butler would I be if I couldn't?" He turned to the aliens. "Children, how would I go about freeing this boy?"

The kids cocked a brow, surprised someone else came to recover a card. "Just tear it up and he'll be free." Makava answered.

"Very well."

"Sebastian, wait-!" The butler ripped the card and Ciel poofed back to normal. "You had NO idea that would work, that could've killed me!"

"Nonsense, what kind of butler would I be if I couldn't determine truth from lie?"

"Ugh. Just get me out of this stupid forest." Sebastian lifted the boy up and made a sprint.

 _"The Planet Seed isn't far. We are nearly there!"_ Celebi flew forth. The team kept after as the ground sloped down, but coffins sprung out of the ground. Inferi came out and raised swords and guns.

"Not these again!" Makava said angrily.

"Arianna, run ahead with Celebi." Vweeb dropped to the ground. "We'll keep them busy. Call us if you need us."

"All right. Please be careful." Her friends began attacking the Inferi, leaving Arianna to keep following Celebi. The forest grew darker, and after a few more minutes of walking, they located the core of the forest: the Planet Seed. (End song.)

Light cracked out of parts of the seed, taking the form of thin lines that went up into the tree like roots. It was hovering over a pit of light. "If we restore the life force to this seed, you'll be able to get your body back, right?"

 _"We have to save this tree, anyway. I'll enter your body and enhance your bending, but only for a moment. Or else, you might die."_

"But if I die, you could revive me, can't you?"

 _"Well, I… Arianna, let's not talk about that now."_

"Sigh… All right, I'm ready." With that, Celebi's life force entered Arianna's body. Now brimming with incredible energy, Arianna focused it on the Planet Seed. The light around the seed increased, and life coursed through the entire Planet Tree. "Aaaah!" Arianna grunted as Celebi flew out of her body. She clasped her heart and panted. "Did we do it… Celebi?"

 _"Something's wrong, Arianna… The seed… Look at the seed!"_

Arianna watched with confusion as the seed seemed to wither and crumble. "I don't understand! We filled it with Life Chi, it shouldn't be…"

"Life cannot exist without death." Zeref appeared from the darkness, alongside Celebi's blackened body. "By filling the seed with more life, you are merely accelerating its growth. But this will only cause it to die off faster."

"That can't be… Celebi, did you know?"

 _"I'm afraid that's Life Chi's weakness. If a plant comes back from death, its natural lifespan won't be as long. It also hurts the plant's soul to return to its former body, and that will cause its soul to darken. The same laws apply to mortal beings. But this seed felt too sacred to let die. Why do I feel the rest of the tree returning to life?"_

"It may seem as though the seed is giving the forest life," said Zeref, "but it is actually the seed drawing life force from the forest. According to Bill, a planet dwells inside the seed, and must constantly feed. Now that you are accelerating its growth, some of the life force is returning to the planet."

"So, it works in reverse… how very odd."

"Yes. Unfortunately, Bill wants that planet destroyed. So, step aside, if you don't want to perish."

Arianna whipped brambles and knocked Zeref away. "Ow! Wait…"

"Celebi, your body!" At Ari's command, the spirit ball shot back into her death-imbued body. Her black hair and clothes became green and her wings glittered with light.

"Arianna… I'm back!"

"You are, Celebi? What about the Death Chi he put inside you?"

Celebi formed a small black cloud. "You know, I think this Death is a part of me. Maybe the Egg Chamber gave it to me to balance the Life out."

"Power over Life and Death." Zeref smiled. "You truly are a wondrous creature. Perhaps the two of you would like to team up with me."

"And _why_ would we do that?" Ari glared.

"I have already found ways to counter and reverse death. My Inferi feel no pain and nothing can kill them. But if we teamed up, perhaps we can go even farther. We can erase sadness and darkness, fill the universe with love."

"Fill the universe with love… that does sound pleasant." For a moment, Ari smiled. But her glare quickly returned. "Too bad I don't trust a word you say." She whacked him with a bramble again.

"Ow! How are you able to hurt me?"

"That must be the result of the Life Chi on my plants. It pierces your death cloud and reminds you of pain. I may not be able to kill you, but I can sure make you hurt." (Play "The 13th Reflection" from _Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix_!)

"You'll fight me with pain? Hm hm hm… I'm intrigued." He fixed a sharp gaze on her. "Then give it to me, Arianna. Remind me of the beauty of PAIN!"

 _Boss fight: Zeref_

Zeref projected a thick black bubble around himself and sent smaller Death Spheres out from it, all homing towards Arianna as she batted them away with brambles. Death Spheres came out in 5's, which she countered by spinning her brambles, and she was quick with her bending reflexes until the protective bubble was dissolved completely. Arianna stretched and stabbed Zeref with the brambles repeatedly, until the dark wizard grabbed the bramble and willed it to decay. Arianna cut it off before the death could reach her, but was forced to run when the wizard gave chase and threw death clouds.

Arianna erected vines from the ground to grab Zeref's legs and fling him upward, then have vines grab him from the ceiling. "Nature Coffin!" She tightened the vines and squeezed Zeref, applying Life Chi so it would truly hurt. Zeref summoned a coffin, and from that coffin emerged the Inferius of Portgas D. Ace. When Ari tried to grab him with vines, they immediately caught fire. The vines holding Zeref decayed as the wizard dropped free. "Burn the Planet Seed." At his order, Ace's Inferius eyes turned pale as he shot twin flaming beams at the seed.

"Arianna, we need Water Bulbs!" Celebi shouted.

"Okay!" Arianna sprouted up a shield of giant thick petals and clasped the ground to sense Water Bulb seeds. She found some and willed her Life Chi to flow through the ground and make them grow toward the ceiling. She increased their growth, dropped the shield, and quickly dodged Zeref's attacks, leaving Celebi to yank the Water Bulbs down onto Ace. "Celebi, keep him trapped in those Water Bulbs!"

Arianna sprouted brambles up around Zeref, then erected a bramble maze to hinder his escape. With that, Arianna grew a giant mushroom and shook it to release Stun Spores. However, not only did Zeref easily kill the spores with a Death Cloud, he stole the life force from the brambles and condensed it into a sphere on the tip of his Keyblade. "The Keyblade is what I used to unlock the Life Chi out of Celebi's body. I've taken the life forces of many plants and creatures to feed it to myself." Zeref slurped the ball of life into his throat. "I thought that, eventually, the Life Chi would drown my Death Magic, and with a body full of life, I could finally kill myself. But no matter how much I absorb, I remain immortal." He stabbed himself in the head.

"How pitiful. Perhaps your curse stems from the fact you have lost sight of life's true values."

"Those values are that life is not eternal, are they not? Yet, you hoped Celebi would revive your fallen friends. You seek the same thing I want: to erase death. And I have made that possible." Zeref summoned another coffin, containing Danny Jackson's Inferius. He bent water from the Water Bulbs into his mouth, inflating himself and rolling Ari over. Ace resumed burning the Planet Seed, only for Celebi to attempt to bind him.

Arianna stabbed Danny's body with brambles and wrapped the zombie up in them. "These Inferi are more lifeless than when they were dead!"

"But what if I were to cease controlling them? They could live freely and never be killed. For the past three years, I have made Inferi out of millions from worlds we have conquered. As per Lord English's orders."

"So, then he would have more subjects without free will to command?"

"That's part of the reason." Zeref smirked. "Still, with a bit of magic, even dead objects such as books can bear a little life." He grabbed a book from his robe and cast a spell on it with the Keyblade. The book shot a beam to Celebi to suck her into its pages. Arianna binded Zeref's arms and legs in brambles, but this didn't stop his book from sucking her in as well.

Arianna landed in a sub-dimension where pages spiraled around her like a tornado, some trying to latch on her body, but using the dead side of Gonshiri's Plant Chi, she bent the pages away from her. "Yowch!" Black splotches were left on the spots where the papers touched.

"Welcome to my Book of Zeref." The mage was standing on a flying book up above. "Where I have written and stored thousands of my dark arts. Right now, you're getting a taste of my toxic leeches." Arianna glanced at the pages that just touched her, which had pictures of the splotches. More pages flew at her—suddenly exploding and flinging her away. Arianna grabbed any incoming pages in her bending and tore them in half. When she did this to the toxic leech pages, the poison slugs vanished off her body.

Arianna watched as some pages latched around Zeref's arms, turning them into swords. Other pages touched Arianna, who swatted them off and whipped brambles at her opponent. Zeref easily sliced the plants and stabbed Arianna in the left hip. "AAAAH! !" Incredible pain coursed through her body.

"Those pages amplified your pain receptors." He kicked Arianna, who felt like her bones rattled and rearranged. "No normal person could bear it."

"YAAAAAAA!" Zeref looked up at hearing Celebi's despairing screech; the Firstborn destroyed the "Pain" pages, resulting a deadly after-effect.

Arianna was back on her feet, stabbing Zeref with brambles and using them to bang him against the ground. She applied Life Chi and caused the spikes to STRETCH, piercing Zeref with enough pain to escape from the sub-dimension. "Thank you, Celebi!" Arianna grew a Razor Sakura Blossom and sliced Zeref apart with swift cuts, and Celebi meanwhile grew more Water Bulbs to stop Ace from burning the Planet Seed.

Zeref's body reattached itself before the wizard sprouted pillars of black death from below Ari's feet, forcing her to sprint and save herself. She bent cherry blossoms off her plant and spun them toward Zeref, breaking his concentration and stopping the pillars. Zeref grabbed his book again and, with a flick of the Keyblade, made the pages fly out as they did in the sub-dimension. Some pages sprawled around the ground and froze it with red, Hellish ice.

"This is Devil Slayer Ice. It cannot be melted easily."

"Good thing Celebi is no Devil! Celebi, grow this Fire Flower!" Arianna indicated the desired pot, so Celebi grew said flower. The Harnitan squirt fireballs around the ice floor to melt it, striking the pages underneath to be rid of the ice for good. Zeref cast a wave of death, but Ari brought up a petal shield. Sadly, some of the mist was leaking through, so she spread Life Chi through the shield to keep it at bay. Zeref's wave was ceaseless, it seemed, and despite her greater outpour of Life Chi, the shield crumbled. "Ulp-!" She ducked and held her breath. If not for the Life Chi that she borrowed, she would be killed right now.

"Arianna, too much Life Chi will accelerate a plant's age and cause them to die, anyway!" Celebi shouted.

"I know, Celebi, but I didn't… Wait." Arianna got back to her feet with a thoughtful expression. "Zeref, get ready for an overdose!" Arianna stretched and stabbed him with the brambles again. She willed Life Chi to flow across the thorns and fill Zeref's body. "Perhaps _this_ will restore your life force, don't you agree?"

"You fool." Zeref chortled. "I stopped believing this would rid me of my curse. You will only exhaust yourself—AAAAH!" The pain from the bramble suddenly worsened.

"I'm striking at YOUR pain receptors now. How's it feel? You can't know what it means to live unless you feel pain, Zeref! So, let this be a reminder that YOU were once human!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" Zeref was ripped apart from the inside. His limbs were shaking on the ground, pain coursing in every part of his senses. He could truly feel nothing else. "Pain… This PAIN… _I love it…"_ (End song.)

Zeref spent so long writhing and screaming, Arianna and Celebi could only feel pity. He was too distracted to command his Inferi directly, so Ace and Danny regained partial free will. "YO!"

Ari gasped—someone smacked her in the shoulder. She looked back and down, seeing Vweeb. "Man, Arianna, I don't remember you EVER being this violent! I mean, you literally tore that guy up!"

"Er- I didn't mean to overdo it." Ari blushed. "I just didn't think I could kill him, s-so I thought I might as well… um…"

"Say no more, Ari." Vweeb climbed on her sandal and patted her toe. "You're not the same girl you were three years ago. You're a girl that can stay firm on her feet. You have rightfully earned the respect of Vweeb."

"…" She smirked wryly and said, "I'm sorry, but I had no interest in your respect!"

"Too bad, 'cause you got it!" He flicked her toe with Kateeny strength to make it wince. "Firstborn notwithstanding, you beat up a Darkness all on your own. You're a real beast!"

"Hm hm hm! I don't deserve it, really. I couldn't even shut him up." Indeed, Zeref was still screaming.

 _"Oh, the boy just needs a little needlework, don't worry."_

"What? Who said that?" The three looked around.

A snake slithered out from the darkness. In a flash, it turned into Thanatos. "Hello, kiddies! You haven't forgotten old Thannypoo, have you?!"

"Thannywho?" Vweeb was dumbfounded.

"See, I knew I shouldn't have spent the whole story in Medusa's hair. I mean, we deserve as much part in this as Lord English and Bill—heck, they wouldn't have found the Darknesses if we haven't been so gullible! But anyways, kids, I can't let you lay another hand on Zeref. He's a very special friend of mine! And it's time to take our friendship to the next level." Thanatos turned into mist and shot into Zeref's broken body.

"AAAAAHH!" Zeref cried as his body reattached, a black aura brimming around him.

 _"Normally, an action like this would KILL a mortal, but since Zeref is IMMORTAL, I can stay in his beautiful body as long as I want! Here, Zeref! Take as much as you want! The TRUE darkness of DEATH!"_

"The pain… it's leaving! It feels so… wonderful." Zeref breathed calmly and embraced the deadly chi. His flesh turned into bone, his red eyes glowing. "Your Life Chi won't affect me now. Your last trump card was made useless. Now, it's time to complete my mission!" He became a ball of death and furiously bounced around the planet's roots, spreading decay. "I'll kill this whole universe so that Lord English can make life anew! Soon, Life and Death will be ONE!" He punctured the Planet Seed, which began rapidly beating like a heart.

"The seed is going to explode!" Celebi exclaimed.

"Can it really kill the whole universe?!" Ari shouted.

"I don't know, but I won't find out. I'm going to use my Life Chi to fight it!" The Firstborn tried to concentrate power, but a paper flew out of the seed and exploded against Celebi.

"They can still defend their selves!" Ari gritted her teeth. "We have to pull them out of that thing!"

"Screw that, why don't we just destroy the seed before it can explode?!"

"Vweeb, there's a planet in there, we can't let it-"

Celebi erected giant brambles from her body and stabbed the seed. "Vweeb is right. Whether it's my Life Chi or their Death Chi, the seed is already dead. We can't save it, but we can still save everyone else." She flailed her brambles and began to tear down the seed.

 _"Hey, that's not fair! We'll see how YOU like it!"_ came Thanatos' voice. The skeletal Zeref flew out to slice Celebi with arm-swords, but Makava tossed her swords from his left and knocked him away.

"You starting without us?!" Makava yelled, calling her swords back. Tronta was beside her.

"Nope, you're just in time!" Vweeb readied his gun. "Guys, while Celebi's tearing that seed up, let's tear Zeref up!"

"But we can't hurt him at all in this form." Ari said.

"If you attack him hard enough, Thanatos should be forced out of his body!" Celebi informed. "Let me give you these protection shields." She conjured four green bubbles and cast them over the kids. They turned invisible. "They'll keep your bodies from being cut or killed, but you'll have to stop him before they wear off." She returned to destroying the Planet Seed.

"We better do this fast!" Tron yelled.

"I'm sorry to have to make you fight with me." Arianna smirked vigorously. "But I'm not sorry for what we're about to do to this freak!" (Play "Master Core" from _Smash Bros. 4_!)

 _Phase 2: Shinigami Zeref_

Zeref flew up and slashed blades at Arianna, dealing severe pain and flinging her off. Makava performed nimble slashes all around his body, then when he spun to clash with her, Vweeb leapt up to punch across his face. Guns emerged around Zeref's body to blast the kids away, and using magic, he summoned more pages from his book to explode around the field. Arianna grabbed some pages in bending to throw them back at Zeref, who still felt no pain. Pages landed on the ground, and when Arianna stepped on them, spikes popped up to stab her feet.

Tronta tossed his Light Discs, which connected by energy ropes and wrapped around Zeref's body. He squeezed the wizard while Makava leapt to stab his head, but Zeref warped out of the discs' grasp, turned his arms into machineguns, and blasted the kids off their feet. He aimed at Celebi, but Vweeb blasted a Powuh Shot to cut the guns, and before Zeref could retaliate, Makava suddenly recovered and threw aerial slashes. She ran up to engage him in another sword fight; meanwhile, Arianna grabbed Vweeb with a vine, whirled him around, then whipped his strength-enhanced body against Zeref. The mage fell off his feet, but recovered easily.

Zeref firmly grasped two pages with hand pictures. Magic circles appeared around the field as Dead Hands emerged, one grabbing Vweeb and trying to drain his life force. Tronta threw bladed Light Discs, but failed to cut the energy hands. Arianna stretched brambles to grab Zeref's arms and try to pull the pages away, but Zeref warped behind her and stabbed Ari's head with an arm-sword. Celebi's spell kept her from getting cut, but her head was still dizzy with pain.

"It's no use! We can't hit him hard enough to knock Thanatos out!" Makava shouted.

"What else can we do? None of our attacks are strong enough!" Vweeb yelled.

"You're a waste of my time." Zeref drew his Keyblade. "This universe is doomed." He cast a beam of light at the Planet Seed.

"It's gonna explode! We're doomed!" cried Tronta.

"Grrrr… VWEEB, SHRINK IT!" Ari exclaimed.

"Whuh?! Okay!" Vweeb charged another Powuh Shot, set the gun to Shrink, and fired. The Planet Seed shrunk to the size of a normal seed.

"Go ahead." Zeref smirked. "It will still destroy this planet and you with it."

"Guess AGAIN!" Arianna grabbed the seed with a vine and chucked it into her mouth. "Now, Vweeb, shrink Zeref!"

"Coulda done that from the start!" Vweeb fired the gun at Zeref, then Arianna grabbed and chucked him down her throat as well.

"Sis, what the heck are you doing?!" Tron exclaimed.

 _"ACK! !"_ Arianna clutched her throat and fell on her back. (End song.)

"Arianna!" Makava and co. ran to her aid. Vweeb leapt on her throat and listened for breath. Tronta put his antennas close to her heart.

"Her heart's still beating… it's getting slower. She's losing breath!"

"It's not too late, I'm going in!" Vweeb jumped into Ari's mouth. Quickly crawling through her throat, Vweeb located a giant green bulb bulging with black mist. Vweeb shrunk it as well to quickly carry it out of Ari's body.

Celebi touched Ari's heart and released just a little Life Chi to restart its normal rate. Vweeb tossed the bulb away and restored it to size. "What… is that?" Makava asked.

"Huff…Huff… Viridi gave it to me." Arianna breathed. "It's a sack that catches poison substances that I eat. I hoped it would contain the explosion… and that it would be powerful enough to stop Zeref."

When the sack decayed from the Death Chi, both Zeref and Thanatos collapsed out. Celebi grabbed the miniaturized wizard in vines. "What about Thanatos?" Makava asked.

"He's a god, so I don't think the Penance Chamber will hold him." Tron reasoned. "Zeref is our priority."

"Then I guess we're done here…" Vweeb figured.

The planet seemed to tremble. "Oh, what's going on now?!"

Outside, the Planet Tree was being bombarded by a fleet of remote controlled ships. _"Metarex! Destroy every ounce of that planet! Let nothing remain!"_ commanded an alien in purple armor with a green glass eye.

 _Commander of The Thirteen's Backup Army, Metarex Division_

 _DARK OAK_

"Celebi, can you stop them?!"

"I will!" Celebi called forth her power and willed the tree to expand and grow. Vines stabbed the Metarex and exploded their ships. Tronta called the Nova Cruiser, and the kids hopped onboard with Zeref in tow.

"Look, everyone!" Arianna pointed outside. As they whisked past the trees and vines, colorful orbs appeared to grow on them. "They're like… tiny planets."

"The Planet Tree… This dimension sure is weird." Makava smiled.

The Nova Cruiser entered hyperspace upon escaping the Planet Tree. Purple beams rained down from above and destroyed Metarex. _"You shall not harm this tree. Begone!"_ commanded the Encyclopod.

* * *

 **Dark Oak is from _Sonic X_ ; ugh, this was SUCH an unpleasant night.**


	16. Page of Keys and Paint

**Two stages!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-16: Page of Keys and Paint_**

 **Hivebent**

The trolls and KND were joyed to hear that Team Vweeb captured another Darkness. Upon their return to Hivebent, Eridan escorted them to the Penance Chamber to lock Zeref inside. "You don't really think this place will hold me?"

"If it doesn't, I'll kick your butt again!" Vweeb declared, bouncing.

"You were just praising Arianna for winning that fight!" Makava argued.

"She did it under _my_ leadership. Aren't we called 'Team Vweeb'?"

"We never decided on a leader. I think Nebula named our team after you out of pity." Tron implied.

"And since then, we've been the best. Hey, and since Zeref was controlling the Inferi, keeping him in here should break that control, right?"

"Even if I cannot control them, the Inferi will not disappear unless I command them to." Zeref said. "But now that they have free will, it is likely that Lord English will send minions out to contain them. Hm hm hm… he's quite pitiful for a god."

"What does that mean?" Arianna asked, raising a brow.

"According to Bill, Lord English is afraid of ghosts."

"Afraid of ghosts?"

"Indeed. That's why he wanted me to create as many Inferi as possible. The fewer spirits, the better."

"Oi, why are you just telling our enemies his secrets?!" Blackbeard shouted. "Have you no loyalty to His Lordship?!"

"No. Not even a little."

"ZE HA HA HAAA! And here I was thinking I was by myself on the matter! Ya hear that, kids?! We're on the same side! Let us out of this cell and we can work together!"

"Would you please go urinate?" Arianna asked.

"The fuck? ?" Teach was baffled.

Vweeb hopped on Ari's shoulder and patted her neck. "Arianna, dearie… you no good at cursing. Please no cursing. Okay?"

"Yes, Vweeb." She blushed, embarrassed.

The aliens tore up the Catch Cards they found and allowed the prisoners to free roam the base. "These accommodations are dreadful." Ciel Phantomhive complained. "I feel like I'm in the poor house."

"Amazing job with defeating Zeref, Arianna!" Cheren waved. "I'm afraid Nebula already left. She's going with Sunni to search for Mew, and Vriska's showing them the way."

"You looked upset at that last part!" Ari giggled.

"Uh- I was?" he blushed.

"Uuuugh." Panini face-palmed.

"it seems The Thirteen have another member in their Backup Army" Eridan observed on his computer. "while I have no doubt the Encyclo can make short work of this 'Dark Oak', you have made the mistake of leaving Ganon and Thana unattended"

"We weren't planning to fight Ganon." Tron reasoned. "We knew we couldn't beat him. Besides, some guy in a white robe showed up to fight him for us."

"The same guy from before." Cheren recalled. "Did he give you a name?"

"There's a reason I refer to him as 'some guy in a white robe.'"

"There's a lot of weird idiots in this universe," said Karkat, "but the white-robed guy isn't familiar to me. Too bad Terezi isn't here to sniff his ass or something."

"Well, if Sunni is going after Mew, I think it's time I look for _my_ Firstborn, too! Can you tell me where Azelf is?"

"Azelf and her hivemates are beyond our reach at this time. The planet where their Egg Chambers are is Alternia."

"Your homeworld? Ha ha, great! I've been dying to see Alternia!"

"Then GET READY to die a little more! Alternia is in a whole different region of the Incipisphere, across a large space called the Furthest Ring." Karkat used a gray marker to draw two arch-shaped lines. He wrote _FURTHEST RING_ between the lines and drew circles on opposite sides of them. "It's infested with powerful space monsters. And what SUCKS is The Thirteen's forces have been freely warping between sides with Dimentio's help!"

"What sucks is your choice of color. You realize that marker is the same color as the floor, right?"

"I'M NOT A ***KING ART STUDENT! And QUIT FUCKING bleeping my bleeping swears, you inconsistent censor machine!"

"If Dimentio's ***king warping his friends," Jessie argued, "why can't Nebula?!"

"Prob'ly because Lord English put the picture of the other side in Dimentio's mind. You can't warp where you haven't been. As soon as Terezi and Vriska come back, we can schedule a voyage across the Ring."

"In that case, I'll just be off to the Planet Tree." Cheren went God Tier and prepared to fly out.

"Why the heck ARE YA?!" Panini shouted.

"Because I wanna see if that white guy's still around!" Cheren passed them a grin and shot off like a comet.

 **Planet Loktup**

Following Terezi's directions, Sector KB and Kimaya flew to a yellow and purple planet with intricate designs and giant keyholes taking up most of the surface. "Is that a _planet_ , or Arceus' secret chest of naughty knick-knacks?" asked Hibiki.

"May not be his only secrets." Bon Clay winked.

"The K3YHOL3S are really humongous canyons." Terezi informed. "But you're right, 4rceus was thinking W4Y too much about keys when he designed this planet. Kimaya, you attached those 1nnocent things to your Keyblades, right?"

"Yup." Kimaya had two small, bright green, gear-like objects attached to either Keyblade, courtesy of Allen Walker. "So, with these, I can kill them robots?"

"He ain't say nothin' about killin' no robots." Clay replied. "He said yo' breakin' their prisons and freein' their souls! Because all souls deserve to be free, that's what it means to be alive!"

"Yeah, except the part about bein' dead."

The Swan Scamper landed on a platform standing miles above the base of a canyon. The landscape was composed of huge, smooth and posh structures shaped like chains or symbols. Everything had yellow edges with purple insides and intricate symbols within them. It seemed the only way off this platform was a long grind-rail sloping down. "I tell ya, this planet would make a R4D1C4L skate park!" Terezi said as she placed a skateboard on the floor. "Hey, try not to make me look bad as we're doing this."

"Make YOU look bad? Girl, ain'tchu freakin' blind? ?"

"Yes, and if 1 keep having to smell your stench, my NOS3 will be blind! That's another reason 1 want you to stay behind me: so 1 don't have to smell YOURS!" Terezi hopped on her board and slid down the rail.

"O-kay, thin: I like her." Kimaya smirked, hopping her own board and shredding after Terezi. (Play "The Promised Beginning" from _Birth By Sleep_!)

 _Stage F-10: Land of Locks and Secrets_

 _Mission: Find the Keyblade Master!_

Kimaya felt a rush of excitement going down the rail, following Terezi in jumping great gaps to several scattered rails. "K3YG1RL, 3Y3S FRONT!" Terezi shouted when round gateways rose to block their path—the first one had one keyhole, the second had two, the third had four, but Kimaya could shoot quick light bullets and unlock them—right after, they had to jump another gap.

"Maybe I SHOULDA gone front!"

The girls landed on a floating, rotating platform, the first of a series they had to jump across while avoiding the shockwaves cast by Seemos (Beamos that attack in a 360-degree direction). The path ended at a larger platform, where two giant normal Beamos sat over the chasm and shot lasers. Kimaya deflected them with either Keyblade and redirected the beams into the opposite Beamos, burning them to death. A series of gear-shaped locks appeared over the chasm, and when Kimaya cast a Key Beam at the first one, a light chain yanked her toward the gear. Terezi grabbed onto her when this happened, and kept hold as Kimaya repeated the action six times.

They landed on the edge of a giant gear with few footholds. "H3R3 TH3Y COM3!" Terezi sniffed when 10 Level 1 Akuma rose from below. Kimaya powered her Keyblades up with Innocence and effortlessly slashed through the robots' armor. The robots that were formerly invincible could now be defeated after a few nimble jumps over platforms and quick Keyblade cuts. "1'm amazed you learned how to use the 1nnocence in barely no time at all."

"It took a few hours to let 'em adapt to the Keyblades."

"Perhaps 1 just fell asleep out of BOR3DOM."

Speaking of boredom, the girls found a lock on one side of the giant gear, attached to a bar going down. Kimaya stuck a key in and had to twist the device all the way around. "UGH!" Since her average human steps were taking forever, Terezi got on her skateboard, grabbed Kim by the waist, and surfed perfectly around the gear while turning the lock. They made a full loop around the gear when another gigantic gear, this time vertical, rose from the chasm. _"Unown! Unown! Unown!"_ A trembling occurred when the gear stopped rising, and black letter-shaped eyes flew out from where it came.

"Wait, I know those things, I seen 'em before!"

"TH3Y 4R3 UNOWN." Terezi said.

"I don't know what they are either."

"NO, DUMMY! TH3Y 4R3 UNOWN. Fragments 4rceus left behind."

"They were in mine and Xehanort's Gibberish Rock. Why was that?"

"That is unknown to me."

They were facing the side of the new gear, which had only one opening during its rotation. The two jumped through it and hugged the interior wall, and as the gear rotated upwards, the duo was continuously sliding in place as though prepped for a Wall Jump. The inside of the gear spiraled, leading the girls to its core, but when spring traps planned to fling them out, they Wall Kicked to the opposite wall and vice-versa. (The springs were marked with Bill's symbol, hinting their naughtiness.) A Catch Card was stuck between two Trick Springs, requiring a quick Wall Kick to and fro.

Inside the card was a glowing fairy named Navi. "HEY! HEY! LISTEN. HEY! LISTEN."

"SHUT UP, I'M BUSY! !"

Finally, a spring in the center sprung them toward a grind-rail, the duo quickly putting the skateboards under their feet. Kimaya used this time to crumple Navi's card and shove it in her pocket. The metal rail angled 90 degrees up into a giant lock, and no sooner did they go up the vertical rail that they stopped and were about to grind back. Kimaya quickly shot a Key Beam up to detach it from the lock, causing the whole rail to tilt, with the vertical end now sloping into another lock. Another rail seemed to stretch out the opposite side of said lock. "K1M4Y4, that rail smells loose! Lock it tighter!"

"Whoa! Okay!" Kimaya shot a Key Beam to perfectly seal that lock, thereby keeping the next rail from collapsing on them. The rail started diagonal, but became horizontal, then they were faced with the unnecessary complication of Seemos shockwaves trying to blow them off. They could rest on a stable platform, touching a Checkpoint to mark their progress.

Their journey would now take place over a great, long chain, where they could either cross the horizontal chain links or the vertical ones. Every few seconds, one of either set of chain links would electrify, forcing the girls to alternate between them. "Why couldn't we just get enemies on this thing?" Kimaya complained.

As she wished, giant Amps began to glide along the chain links. "H4PPY?" Kimaya could block their sparks by crossing the Keyblades. Soon, they reached the end of the chain, which went into a giant twistable code lock, followed by a cluster of chains blocking their view. "1 can hear as well as 1 smell. Leave this one to me." Terezi began to skateboard on the lock, turning it. She heard a click on the '7', jumped and about-faced, heard the '3' click, about-faced, and when the '5' clicked, all the obstructing chains retracted into the lock and opened the way. "4lso, there was a card in those chains."

"Why ain't you get it?"

"Because we couldn't have made the jump, DUMMY! But we can get it now." Terezi pointed partway up the chain path. Kimaya traveled along and found a card containing Daxter, an orange- and yellow-furred otter-weasel.

"What kind of animal are you?"

"I'm an Ottsel, sweetheart! And _you_ must be some kind of monkey. I mean, no human has ears that small."

"I traded my big ears for a bigger attitude." Kimaya put him in her-

"HEY! LISTEN!" She was startled by Navi's shout.

"Hey, buzz off, fairy! There's only room for one annoying sidekick in this pocket!" Kimaya felt her pocket shake.

"Knock it off or ain't NO ONE gonna be in my pocket!" Kimaya punched them. She had to use the Chain Swing to latch to floating gear-locks and land herself and Terezi on a new platform. The girls were ambushed by 30 Mega Klefkis, and these key ring Pokémon had Keyblades making up their rings. The Pokémon quickly deflected Kim's light bullets, and they clashed their blades against hers with greater speed.

 _"KIII!"_ One of the Klefkis was stabbed by Terezi's walking stick. She extracted the stick and sniffed the blood. "YOW! So that's what Poké-blood smells like! I gotta try more of this stuff!" The other Klefkis spun their keys as they flew at her, bumping into one-another as Terezi vanished, moving too fast for the naked eye and stabbing more of them. When the Klefkis tried to focus on her, Kimaya attacked them from behind. A few moments later, the girls were victorious.

"Them things had more keys than Willy Wonka." Kimaya said, gasping for breath and sticking her Keyblades in the ground to prop herself up. "Where you learn to fight like that?"

"You think a BL1ND CH1CK would just lay around and let people sneak up on her? H3CK, we modeled Observation Haki after me when we were breeding Uxie's egg! 4nd it looks like 1'm needed again." Across the battlefield was a series of floating code-locks, divided by keyhole-shaped barriers. "1'll go first, but follow me quickly." Terezi skateboarded onto the first lock, turning it until she heard the click, then jumping as the barrier unlocked. She leaped to the next lock, but the previous one threatened to fall, so Kimaya quickly jumped it. They repeated the complicated process for five of these locks.

They landed and started grinding down a spiraling rail that was more like a giant spring. Indeed, a spring awaited them at the base of this rail, and no sooner than the second they touched it did they go flying across the canyon like a shooting star. They landed bumpily on a large piece of land, and after regaining their senses, they realized they were in a village of walking lock creatures with zipper mouths. "These are the Ziplups." Terezi said. "You won't find greater secret-keepers anywhere in the universe."

"Neato! You mind if I test that?" Kimaya smirked, Keyblades raised.

 _! ! ! !_ The Ziplups panicked at the sight of the keys. The silent citizens summoned Puplups, treasure chest puppies with sharp, barking teeth. "Why the hell would you think lock people would enjoy seeing giant keys?!" Terezi yelled, swiftly cutting Puplups with her stick. "Just skate past this town. I smell another Key-wielder nearby. Up there!" She pointed to a pillar across town.

Curious, Kimaya boarded her board and flew past the hordes of zipper-mouths. "Sorry!" Kimaya leapt, pulled her skateboard out from under her, and kicked off the face of a Ziplup (assuming it wouldn't hurt much). She landed on a roof and grinded a chain up to a platform, then one more chain up to the aforementioned pillar. There was a gigantic humanoid Shadow Heartless with a heart-shaped hole in its chest, finding a spike-haired boy in heavy, big-pocketed clothing. (End song.)

The Heartless – Darkside – charged a dark sphere in its hand and threw it down at the boy. He effortlessly dodged and ran up Darkside's arm, leaping to the head to cut the Heartless down the middle. Darkside vanished in a puff of darkness. The boy landed on his feet and propped the Keyblade over his shoulder. "I can't believe I used to be scared of that guy!" He grinned confidently. Feeling a presence behind him, he turned to Kimaya. "Huh? You don't look like you're from this world."

"You got a Keyblade!" Kimaya pointed at the silver key with her own Keyblade.

"It looks like you do, too." He approached her. "In fact… yours are Oathkeeper and Oblivion. Where'd you get those?"

"I got 'em from… Hold on, what's your name again?"

"It's Sora!"

"Sora?! I got 'em from YOU!"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you the one who wrote my Gibberish Rock! The one that had all the keys and them Dunno letter thingies."

"I… have NO idea what you're talking about. Hehe!" Sora laughed awkwardly.

"You sure you don't? The Lazarus Pit? The sick town? The prophecy?"

"Would this have anything to do with Xehanort or Lord English?"

"YES, YOU DUMBASS! How can you not remember anything?!"

"Hey, I'm sorry!" Sora flinched at her outburst. "I'm just confused. Why don't you explain it from the beginning?"

"Pssh, like I even know when _that_ is."

Kimaya spent the next few minutes explaining how she became a Light and her apparent role as Keeper of the Keys. "And… _I_ was the one who wrote the cube?"

"YEAH! I don't remember what you said, but Ah know it was you. And you got your own key!"

"It's just strange to me, because only official Keyblade Masters can give other people Keyblades. And I never passed my Mark of Mastery Exam. I couldn't have given you those Keyblades."

"Oh…" Kim stared at her keys. "I am SO confused."

"Heh heh heh! I don't understand how it works, either! Oh, well. It's nice to meet you… Uh, what's your name?"

"Kimaya. Wait a minute, I only came to find you so you could teach me how to use the Keyblades, and you don't know jack?"

"I never said that! I may not be a master, but I'm still really good! I got to Level 99, like, four times."

"No wonder I don't like RPGs."

"I'm not sure what that means, but if you need someone to teach you a few tricks, I'd be glad to!"

"A few tricks? What am I, a dog?"

"Ha ha ha ha!" They exchanged laughter. "Oh yeah, Kimaya, I found this talking card while I was down here. Does it look familiar?" Sora showed her a Catch Card containing Sally Harper.

"Hmmm… Nope, it ain't mine."

"Kimaya, I'm with Sector W!" Sally shouted. "Please, take me back to them!"

"I never seen you with them."

"You barely know us, of COURSE you haven't!"

"Fine, I'll take you."

"You aren't leaving that easy." a calm voice said.

"KIM!" Sora was quick to block Kim from a long sword.

"Those are strange swords you have." Sephiroth said. "The Darknesses use them, too."

"Sephiroth?! Why are you here?!"

"You seem to be mistaking me for a different Sephiroth. Bill told me of the version of me that exists in your world. I'll make sure you tell the difference." He flew in to attack, and just before Sora could counter, Terezi appeared and clashed with her cane.

"Oh gog, you smell awful!" Terezi hissed. "Worse than Kimaya!"

"Oh, SNAP!" Kimaya beamed, waving by her nose. "Whaddya say ta THAT, One-Wing?!"

"I meant the boy." Terezi corrected.

"Hey!" yelled Sora.

"Save it, K3Y-BOY! Take Kimaya and run! I'll do the cliché thing and sacrifice myself for her since she's the Chosen One."

"But I can help you fight him!" Sora insisted.

"Are you at Level 99 in this playthrough?" Kim asked.

"Uhhhh…" Sora was not. "Okay, but we'll come back for you!" He grabbed Kim and raised his Kingdom Key, vanishing in a beam of light.

Sephiroth warped every direction around Terezi, but she snuffed him out first and blocked each swing. "Tell me, Sephiroth… ever get your ass kicked by a blind girl?"

"I've killed blind animals."

"H33 H33. YOU WON'T TH1S T1ME!" :]

 **Planet *insert name here***

As Sunni Chariton and Vriska stood on the edge of the _Noah_ , they were slowly sailing to an expansive cyan planet. They were in the midst of entering the atmosphere when Vriska yelled, "ST8P!"

Augustus stomped the brake, bringing it to a sudden halt as everyone briefly lost balance. "If we go any farther, all hell you can imagine will 8reak loose."

"Why is that?" asked Sunni.

"This is the Land of Thought and Flow. It's extremely a8undant with Psychic Chi. Any person who can think can make just a8out anything. Unfortun8ly, if no one's around to think, this planet has nothing! That's why the actual planet doesn't have a name, 8ecause it can 8e anything you can imagine."

"Then I guess it's up to we psychicbenders!" Sunni beamed.

"Yeah… here's my thoughts on that." With that, Vriska slapped a chi-block sticker on Sunni's forehead.

"What gives?!"

"Chi Sta8ilizer to keep your imagin8ion under control. Sunni, no offense, 8ut if a crazy mind like yours got any closer to this planet, we would never find Mew. What we need is someone with a more calm flow in their thoughts. I'm sure you know the answer." :::: )

"Ohhhh…" ;) Sunni drew her lightsaber and cut a symbol in the deck. She used what psychic she could to summon Mary Goldenweek.

The girl was on her knees and drawing a crayon pic in her sketchbook. "Oh, hi, Sunni! I made this picture!" She held up the drawing of the Sector W7 crew holding each other's stubby hands in a chain.

"That's pretty, Mary! Can you ask April to come out?"

"Okay! Big Sister, Sunni would like to ask you something."

They watched as the crayon April seemed to lean forward. Her very arms emerged from the paper, attaining physical form as the actual person climbed out as if it were a sewer hatch. "Huff… Tight fit." She sported a laugh, getting to her feet. "Hi, Sunni! Are my friends doing well?"

"Yup! Enemies have been attacking them often, but they always managed."

"That's good. I feel bad not staying with them, but they insist I stay in hiding. Being a Chosen One is hard."

"I can imagine. Speaking of which, you see that planet down there?"

Sunni and Vriska explained their location and the planet's mechanics. "A planet that makes what you think? Hmmm…" Without hesitating, April jumped off the _Noah_. Sunni and Mary watched worriedly, the artist fell fast toward the surface. Suddenly, a blue mushroom poofed into being and bounced April to a large, safe platform, which also poofed out of nothing. Vriska passed the girls a grin and flew down to join her. Sunni and Mary happily dropped after them.

"April will be our guide for this level!" Vriska announced. "I would do it myself, 8ut I'm anything 8ut imagin8ive."

"I'm making a level, huh? Time to bust out the big paper!" April whipped out a large scroll that unraveled into a very long strip of paper, taking up the whole platform.

"Don't lose your train of thought, April!" Sunni cheered. "We're counting on you!" (Play "Duplicitous Delve" from _Yoshi's Woolly World_!)

 _Stage F-11: Land of Thought and Flow_

 _Mission: Find Mew!_

Sunni and Mary raced along a forming blue snake path, flowers blooming on either side. The path ended and a swing appeared, Sunni sitting down with Mary on her lap. She kicked off the ground, swung forward, and kicked her legs back and forth, building more momentum. Flowers bloomed alongside her, matching her altitude in a wide "U" shape, and at last, Sunni would release and launch herself and Mary toward nothing. This "nothing" became a mushroom bounce pad, from which the momentum bounced them far across to another, then one more, before they landed on a solid ground.

Smiling bumblebees appeared in this flower field—their stingers extended for brief seconds when they tried to stab the girls. Sunni slashed them with her saber and shot them away with Psycho Spheres. Their path seemed to take place between a thin forming trench, but when Sunni floated them over, a sunflower platform bloomed to catch them. They kept floating and trusted the sunflowers to be their rest pads—a Doomtoon poofed on one and jumped to bite Sunni's leg before she smacked it off. "What's the big idea, April?" she asked to her wristwatch.

 _"What's a stage without obstacles?"_

Sunni notices a hidden path to the left, where a path of flower platforms conveniently spawned as she progressed. They ended before a wide chasm with a faraway ledge. Sunni told Mary to stay back as she jumped and floated. As expected, only one flower pad spawned on that ledge, but Sunni was able to land on it and find a Catch Card on a log on said ledge.

"Think think think… Think think think…" The card contained a yellow bear in a red shirt.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"I'm thinking of… how much honey can fit inside my two-dimensional tummy…"

"I'd be more worried about your 2-D brain." Sunni put him in her pocket and used a spring to bounce back to Mary. After passing the trench, the duo ran into an open field, which would only keep forming the more they explored. The field had the design of colorful painted flowers, and some spots that appeared would make butterflies flutter out. There were also dancing, smiling sunflowers and colored strips of wind that stroked across the air. Sunni and Mary giggled when a flock of butterflies appeared around Vriska in the sky and fluttered around her.

A hidden snaky path would spawn on one side of the field, leading to a lone platform where more butterflies would take flight. With all butterflies now awoke, they created a spiraling path going up. The creatures withstood the girls' weight surprisingly well, yet were still soft and sunk slightly under their feet. They could rest on a platform (Checkpoint!) and from there, a bunch of Sunni clones seemed to appear in midair beyond the foothold. Some were upside-down, others weren't, and they mimicked Sunni's movements.

"Mary, get on my shoulders. This looks like a tricky puzzle." Mary did so as Sunni floated forward, seeing one of her reflections go under her feet. When Sunni let herself drop, she could stand on her reflection. They essentially had to solve a maze of Sunni reflections, flying to whichever ones were available for standing, while the clones level with her would block her. Each reflection had its own barriers, and at one point, there was a reflection to her left and right. Sunni could Wall Jump off those clones, going down a straight path.

Just like before, Sunni noticed some reflections higher up on the right, so she Wall Jumped up there and followed a secret Wall Jump route, claiming another Catch Card. It contained a black-haired girl with glasses and a yellow shirt named 'R'. "What's the 'R' stand for?"

"R!" she cheered.

"Really? Just R?"

"Yah!"

"Maybe I should be M!" Mary beamed.

"No! That's my dog!" yelled R.

"Okay, enough letters." Sunni put the card away. They continued the previous path and rested on a stable platform. They gasped when a giant blue paintball fell from the sky and rolled around midair, forming a paint path that would be quickly erased by a white-out ball.

 _"Let's try that again."_ April said as another paint boulder appeared.

"Sunni, quick!" Mary lifted Sunni's legs up to draw Ice Crayon under her shoes, then her own. They skied along the path to keep up and evade the white-out, then the leading boulder rolled off while a pink one continued. They leapt to the pink path, which went up ramps where they had to jump. After the pink path, a yellow boulder took its turn, bouncing across the air and leaving platforms which the two would have to ski-jump to.

When they skied onto a safe platform- "OOF!" Sunni smashed front-first into a wall that just formed. It had colorful flowers painted as well. "Try this, Sunni." Mary colored white Glue Crayon on their shoes this time. The girls could walk up the wall with sticky feet, with their main hazard being Paint Chu that April conjured. The top of the wall was merely a dead end, the reason being that the intended path was rightward.

From here, they had an amazing unobstructed view of the horizon, and they realized the sky had been growing brighter as though it were sunrise. There were even humongous painted clouds and flowers in the distance as well as markings all around the surface. "Wow… did April really make all this?" Sunni smiled, surprised of the range one person's thoughts can go on this world. The Glue Crayon was about to wear off, but thankfully they were at the end of the wall. They fell onto a large slide that just spawned, watching as a field of flowers materialized around a circular central field. They were so mesmerized by all the pretty colors, Sunni almost missed the Catch Card on their left.

The girl in the card was Beauty, who had pink hair and a giant zipper on her shirt. "Boy, this planet has more colors than a hippy's truck."

"And that joke is older than 4Kids airing _Citizen Kane_." Sunni remarked. She and Mary landed in the open field, where rested a big white egg in the center. Vriska joined them in approaching the Egg Chamber, Sunni touching the hatch as it flashed open. (End song.)

The area was swallowed by white for a moment. When it vanished, Sunni reopened her eyes and smiled. Mew was curled up inside the egg like a kitty, but he now wore a white cat costume, had pink hair, and a human face. "Yaaaawn… Mew Mew Mew…" He rubbed his tired eyes and stared groggily. "Muu?" He seemed to wake fully at the sight of Sunni.

"Mew!"

"Sunni! Ulp!" Mew clamped his mouth shut. "Holy cow! I can talk! And I don't need telepathy to do it! Beat THAT, Mewtwo!"

"Hehehe! You got that right, Mew!" Sunni clapped hands. "You learned it faster than Meowth!"

"Screw you, I worked hard to learn English!" Meowth shouted. "It was easier learnin' Japanese."

"In that case, you should've taught 4Kids. Wait… What?" Sunni now realized who was speaking.

"Prepare for trouble, we traveled far!" The familiar hot-air balloon was coming in with rockets.

"Make it double, we're too much a charm."

"An evil older than the cosmos!"

"Victory is ours, almost!"

"I've never seen one episode of _Pokémon_ , and yet I recognize them…" Vriska scratched her head.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all people within our nation."

"To denounce the evils of free-flowing thoughts!"

"To renounce the twerps who think they're the tops!"

"Jessie!"

"James."

"Team Rocket, serving The Thirteen at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare for thirteen times the fight!"

"Meeeeowth! That's right!"

 _"WOBBUFFET!"_ yelled Mega Wobbuffet. ( _"Chiiiime…"_ )

"You guys must not remember me." Sunni figured. "Here's a briefing: I'm gonna beat you in seconds. And Mew's with me, so I'm pretty much invincible."

"And I speaks ENGRISH!" Mew cheered.

The agents gasped. "Uh-oh! Well, gang, I guess we lost." Jessie sighed in dismay.

"Yes, I mean what can we do?" James frowned. "Have our new ally fight them?"

"That's exactly what we'll do!" Meowth jumped, and his teammates were instantly back to bright spirits. "Right, Gramps?!"

 _"Hahahahahahahahaha…"_ A maniacal cackle rung in the air and rattled their bones. Above them was a cloud of fiery darkness, topped with a tall humanoid shadow with brimming yellow eyes, a dangling dark beard, and what could be mistaken as horns.

Sunni gasped. "It…It's him!"

"Who is he, Sunni?" asked Mary.

"He ruled the world before the dawn of the Seventh Age of KND… He's the son of Malladus Uno. GRANDFATHER!"

 _Member of The Thirteen's Backup Army_

 _BENEDICT UNO, SR._

"Eh?! My father's name isn't Malladus!" Grandfather shouted. "What snot-nosed kid told you THAT story?"

"This might not 8e the same Grandfather, Sunni!" Vriska informed. "He could 8e the Original Grandfather!" Quickly, she charged a Psycho Sphere and tossed it at the demon.

"Wobbuffet, COUNTER!" Jessie commanded. The Mega Pokémon hopped in the sphere's way and deflected it, causing an explosion that blew the girls apart.

 _"AAAAAAAHHHH!"_ Sunni was immediately grabbed by Grandfather, her body flashing green before she had aged 80 years. Her body was green and wrinkled, a foul breath emitting from her zombie mouth.

"Sunni!" Mary cried.

 _"Raaaaah! Who put this wretched thing on my head?!"_ Sunni ripped off the Chi Stabilizer—she imagined a thousand dead green hands sprouting from the ground to ensnare the youthful ones, but Vriska expanded a giant Psycho Sphere to protect herself, Mary, and Mew. _"MEW! Get inside your Pokéball, you shifty brat!"_ ordered Sunni, who pierced the bubble easily.

"No, Sunni! I can't when you're like this!"

"Yes you can!" Vriska yanked the Spirit Ball over with psychic and pulsed Sunni away. "As long as she doesn't have it, she can't command you. We have to retreat."

"Aaaagh!" Mary screamed when a dark force began to overwhelm her. "Vriska, Sunni's Psychic Chi is what's keeping me here! If _she_ turned old, then I—!" She flashed green.

"Mary!" To her horror, the painting child became a Citizombie as well. "Mew, let's go!" She grabbed the Firstborn and warped.

Meanwhile, as April was blissfully painting more of the world, she felt a presence behind her. "You can speak anytime." She told him.

"Would I be interrupting you?" Truman Zorc asked with a devilish smirk.

"Of course you are. But staring is rude. An artist doesn't like being interrupted from hard work."

"Oh, do forgive me, but I believe I am about to rain on your parade." Zorc drew a card. "Atomic Shadow Bomb!"

April looked up when a great mass of darkness plummeted from the sky at terrifying speed. Looking around desperately, there was no sight of her friends and the _Noah_ had sailed elsewhere to avoid drawing attention. With that, April used her Keyblade to open her painting and jump inside. Her absence would have caused the stage to disappear instantly, but the Shadow Bomb made impact and swallowed the region in an explosion of black nothing.

Vriska and Mew made it back on the _Noah_ in time to see the expanding dark bubble. "APRIL!"

* * *

 **I was originally going to make Grandfather a Darkness.**


	17. My Daughter

**I purposely wanted this fight to happen on Chapter _Seven_ teen!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-17: My Daughter_**

 **Planet Loktup**

Terezi nimbly whipped her cane to block Sephiroth's blade, sensing his warp points before he had a chance to appear. She would duck his strikes and deal several quick stabs into his chest, drenching her cane in blood. "Sniff, sniff. The scent of your blood will make you all the more easy to dodge!" She licked her cane clean. Sephiroth flew up and performed planet-shaped spin attacks that were able to whack her cane away, earning Terezi several cuts that spilled her teal blood.

Sephiroth warped far away and called, "Descend Heartless Angel." Terezi grabbed her cane and raced for an attack. Despite landing a blow on Sephiroth, a pink aura had already formed around her.

"444H!" An unseen attack suddenly left Terezi feeble and powerless, as if only one piece of HP remained within her. Without hesitating, Sephiroth zipped up and stabbed Terezi in the head.

"You fought well… for a blind animal." The angel withdrew his sword drenched in teal. The blind troll fell over, dead.

 **Planet Indo**

Wendy Marvell and Vaati traveled through a valley where the wind seemed to be blowing stronger. They stopped above a ledge overlooking a vast canyon of dancing whirlwinds. "Typheus must be close. I can see that The Thirteen's minions have found their way here. We can bypass them if I fly us over."

"But if we let them wander around, they'll try to hurt Typheus. We should try to clear them out, don't you think?"

"Right, of course. And I'm certain Lord English would be aware of my betrayal by now. He may be sending stronger agents."

"Maybe you should fly ahead and protect Typheus!"

"Really? I don't want to leave you by yourself. And don't forget Voldemort shares my body; I fear if he's trustworthy."

"Then don't let him do anything bad. It's _your_ body, Dad, I know you wouldn't let yourself get out of control. You're stronger than that!"

"Hehe…" Vaati blushed. "I truly did miss your bright spirit, Wendy. Very well… I'll see you soon." The mage became wind and whisked across the valley.

Wendy smiled and watched the wind cloud shrink across the distance. …Frowning, she clicked her wristwatch communicator once again. She gasped when she saw the one she was contacting closing in on her. Wendy turned as Sugar's Song Bird finally caught up and landed. "Wendy!" Carla flew out; she had reverted to her cat form.

"Mom! Sugar!" Wendy hugged the kitten.

"Thank goodness you're okay. Where's Mr. Vaati? Why didn't you call us directly?"

Wendy tried to explain what her father had told her. "A creature called Typheus that Lord English hates?" Sugar recapped.

"And Vaati intends you to borrow this creature's Wind Chi?" Carla followed.

"I don't really understand, but my father seems sincere about it. He wouldn't have brought me if his mission was to destroy Typheus. I'm still pretty skeptical… I called you in secret in case he was setting a trap, we could trap him back."

"That makes a rhyme!" Meloetta danced.

"Ha ha! Anyway, I'm going after him. Can you stay here and wait for my call?"

"We couldn't leave you alone with that man. Please, let us come." Carla requested.

"No. If it's really dangerous, you guys can call backup. Just hang back for now so we can surprise my dad." Wendy grinned in humor at the thought. "I'll be fine, promise!"

"Sigh… you worry us, Child."

"She survived this long by herself, right?" Sugar giggled.

"I'll be back in a flash! Wish me luck!" (Play "Horn Top Hop (Leaves)" from _Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze_!)

 _Stage F-12: Land of Wind and Shade_

 _Mission: Locate Typheus and borrow his Wind Chi._

Wendy raced leftward along the edge of the cliff, jumping and sliding under windy gusts that came out of holes on the other side. Wendy found a path leading down into the canyon, shaped in a long curve as the mage had to keep a constant, steady turn. At the path's end, Wendy ran into a floating whirlwind, spiraling up it as she ran midair. From the top of the whirlwind, she launched herself to another, spiraled up it, and saw another one to launch to. However, large Morphs (spikeball eyes) were whirling around the top of this one, so Wendy was forced to launch off earlier to avoid getting hit. She nearly missed the next whirlwind as a result.

From this last one, Wendy launched to a bigger platform where she was attacked by three Livid Suns (sapphire Angry Suns). They flew about rampantly and swooped down at Wendy one at a time. "Blizzaga!" The tip of her Fairy's Tail brimmed white, and applying airbending to magic caused a powerful blizzard to occur. The Livid Suns took significant damage, but not enough to KO them. Wendy finished all three by blowing a Cyclone Roar.

Beyond the foothold's ledge was a lineup of stone pipes, all connected starting at one near Wendy. Wendy took a breath and blew a Cyclone Roar into said pipe, the air flowing through and coming out each pipe as whirlwinds. Wendy could jump inside each whirl, gently float up, and move toward the next. After setting foot on a new ground, Wendy raced up a narrow mountain slope that had several turns, followed by a wider path where whirlwinds moved left and right. If they caught her, the whirlwinds would spit her further back.

Wendy noticed a Catch Card drifting a few feet before a whirlwind. She would have to get caught in that whirlwind when it was lined up and be spat back at the card. She succeeded in this task and recovered the card, which contained a blonde girl named Esther, who wore an Arabian dancer's outfit. "Thank you for saving me. You don't suppose this makes me a useless sidekick?"

"No, of course not. Why would you say that?"

"Somehow, I keep hearing people call me useless."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Wait in here for a while, please." She put Esther in her shirt pocket. Wendy arrived at what appeared to be a small lake, some stalagmites and platforms sticking out of some areas, and the water was very still and beautifully reflected the indigo sky. Wendy treaded along the surface and discovered a Wind Switch on one of the platforms. She used airbending to keep the switch spinning like a pinwheel.

On one side of the lake was a long, slightly wide passage leading to a dead end with a large fan. Realizing there was no way to get past here, Wendy kicked off the inactive fan and raced back the other way. She could Wall Jump up onto another platform to blow on another Wind Switch. She could stand on a surface platform and cast the Engorgio spell on a stairway of mushrooms, enlarging them in order to bounce up to another foothold and blow the third Wind Switch.

The large fan at the end of the passage activated, creating waves that surfed along the river. Wendy could run down, run up each wave, and leap to the next one, keeping the momentum going until she could jump onto the ledge above the fan. Now, Wendy overlooked a bottomless chasm with giant windmills blowing large gusts. There was one just under Wendy, and she used it to tread along the air to the next windmill, from which she glided to the third.

This windmill was blowing at nothing, so Wendy cast Spinneroo to redirect it toward the next. She repeated the action for the following two windmills, while the last one was properly aimed at the path—she noticed the Catch Card beyond the windmill and cast Spinneroo to aim it in the card's direction. Wendy could glide toward the card and land on a Spring Shroom to fling safely onto the path.

"You're pretty!" said Meelo, the baldheaded boy in the card. "Can I have some of your hair?"

"I hope you're not related to Baldy Bald." Wendy replied.

She arrived at a village of salamanders. They lived in caves within mounts and had pinwheel plants growing in small gardens. "This place is lovely… I wish I brought Sugar and Carla along now."

Sadly, the peace ended when the salamanders bore sharp fangs and red eyes. "Waaah!" She dodged their bites in a heartbeat and cast "Lumos Solem!" The sunlight from her sacred wand caused the creatures to burn. "Huh? They must be vampires, too." Wendy said, recalling that other character whose named escaped her.

Wendy jumped on and across some houses to get to a chasm. Some windmills were calmly turning, and platforms were attached to their points. Also, between each windmill was a giant Ptooie, a walking Piranha Plant blowing spike platforms. Wendy landed on the first windmill and cast Flippow to flip the Ptooie's spike square, so the flat end could face up. She jumped across to the next windmill, which had two platforms with Salampires on them. "Lumos Incendio!" Wendy called to shoot light fireballs at them. She flipped another Ptooie's platform, then had to do the same with the following windmill's spiked platform (its other three platforms were completely spiked).

From there, Wendy jumped to a spring, bouncing her around a series of springs that landed her on a ring-shaped foothold. The ring was being blown up by a circle of Ptooies, walking in unison across the field. "This would make a boring Sonic level…" Wendy commented. She heard monstrous screeches and saw Hollows charging to attack the Ptooies, so she cast light flames to destroy them each in one strike. Shy Guys landed on the ring, making chants and doing dances as they whacked her with weed whackers. She quickly KO'ed them, focused back on the Hollows, and was forced to alternate between them.

In the midst of this annoying section, a Catch Card was about to pass over the ring. Wendy barely had enough time to KO two Shy Guys, grab it, and shoot the incoming Hollow. "Oh, you saved me." The girl in the card was Sadness, a blue humanoid with glasses. "I thought nobody cared about me. Hey, you dyed your hair like mine!"

"Hehe! Let's talk later, okay?" Wendy put Sadness away. The Ptooies finally stopped at a cliff, and with a bigger breath, they blew the foothold level with the ledge. "Thank you!" Wendy jumped off and began to race along a path over another chasm. The wind randomly blew left and right, so Wendy had to quickly sidestep against it to avoid blowing off. This action was especially tricky when the path shifted diagonally right. When it was straight again, the wind started pushing against Wendy from the direction she was running. She sidestepped Pokémon blowing in the wind and kept true to the path before her.

Suddenly the wind blew from behind—Wendy was pushed forward at breakneck speed, and seeing the path ending, she made the terrific leap of faith over a deeper chasm. The wind blew her all the way across as she bounced and tripped haphazardly on the following ground. "Owwww!" Wendy sat up and gripped her kneecaps. "My knees, my knees…! My sandals!" Her wooden sandals had broken off in the crash, and before she had a chance to recover them, they were blown off the cliff. Wendy clutched the ground to keep herself from sharing the same fate, but the wind was stronger than ever. "AAAAH!"

"WENDY!" Her hand was grabbed by a white one with long fingernails—her father.

"DAD!" Wendy beamed. "It's really windy here! !" 

"I know! Typheus' lair is close! I can withstand it with my Logia bending, so I'll carry you!" He lifted Wendy over his shoulder and flew against the wind. They were closing in on a mountain that looked like giant organ pipes. As Vaati's hair was rapidly blowing behind him, Wendy's squinted eyes detected some kind of growth on his head. "Uh… Dad?"

"What, Wendy?"

A stronger wind forced her to shut her eyes. "Uh… Never mind." (End song.)

 **Back with the others**

Sugar was sitting on the edge of the cliff, carefreely swinging her legs. "Don't worry so much, Carla." she said to the kitten floating a few meters above. "Wendy knows how to take care of herself."

"I know she can… It's the fact she is with Mr. Vaati that concerns me. And I just hate the idea of leaving her with that man again."

"If she has issues with her father, then she needs to be the one to face him. I never had the chance to with mine." Sugar frowned for a moment. "It's kinda funny: I didn't find my happiness until _after_ I left my family, but with Wendy, it's the opposite. It's almost like we're parallels in some way!"

"That's interesting to hear, but I'm concerned if Mr. Vaati will try something reckless and Wendy won't…! Sugar!" Carla pointed behind her.

Sugar gasped and got back to her feet. An army of Heartless was slowly approaching them. They heard a dark portal open on their left, and Xehanort came out. "Xehanort!" Sugar exclaimed.

"I thought I felt a couple of lights shimmering in this dark world. We'll have to blot them out, won't we, Baldy Bald?"

"Super Fist of RED MAGIC!" A red energy snake seemed to fly out of nowhere and LATCH onto Meloetta's head.

"AHH! MY HAIR!" The Firstborn's rainbow head was shaved clean.

 _"MYAH HAH HAH!"_ Baldy Bald glowed brightly. _"With this, I command the Powers of the Rainbow!"_ With a great poof of smoke, he transformed. "Now give me some DOG FOOD!" He became Shaggy from _Scooby-Doo_.

"How did a rainbow let you turn into THAT?!" Carla shouted.

"Maybe because he's a hippie." Sugar said.

"Now I'll use Super Fist of Blue Magic: Unhealthy DIET ATTACK!" The Shaggy Baldy opened his big mouth and munched the Song Bird whole.

"My hair… My precious hair…" Meloetta was crying music note tears.

"Now that your primary source of power has been crippled, our plan can proceed without hassle." Xehanort smirked.

"Your plan? …Wendy!" Feeling danger was afoot, Carla made flight over the canyon.

"After her, Heartless!" Xehanort commanded as flying Heartless engaged pursuit, forcing Carla to fight them off.

"Are you in league with Vaati? Are you setting a trap for Wendy?" Sugar questioned.

"Oh, Vaati would never cooperate. Not in his right mind."

"What?"

 **Typheus' Mountain**

Vaati and Wendy climbed a very thin stairwell leading up the organ pipe mountain. Oddly, the wind had settled down. At the top of the stairs, the two approached a wide, gaping well where an eerie howl moaned. Wendy waved her wand and cast Lumos down the well. The light shrank into the dark depths with no presence of a bottom. She looked nervously at her father, who gave an assuring nod as they readied to jump down.

Just as they stood on the well, a gust blew them off. _"WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?"_ an echoing voice howled from the organ pipes, different ones blowing wind out with each word. _"MY THREE-HOUR SLUMBER?"_

Wendy gulped and helped herself up. "E-Excuse me! Are you… Typheus?"

 _"THERE ARE NO OTHER DEITIES ON THIS PLANET, SO I MUST BE. Stupid…"_

Vaati spoke this time, "Lord Typheus, this is my daughter, Wendy Marvell! She is a powerful mage and terrific airbender! We are on a mission to destroy Lord English, but we first need your power! Please give your Air Chi to Wendy."

It sounded as though a thoughtful breath echoed from the pipes. _"Huuuurrrrm… NO."_

"Please, Mr. Typheus." Wendy folded her hands and pled. "I need to help my friends save the universe. I promise I'll give your chi right back."

 _"Know this… Only ONE may possess my Winds of Truth. One whose aura resembles my own. Bring me… THE SEEKER."_

"The Seeker? I don't understand. Who is that?"

 _"I know little of my own existence… only that I must wait for The Seeker. I do not know who it is… but it cannot be you. You look like you still wet the bed."_

Wendy turned white as a ghost. "It was an AAAACCIDEEEEEENT!" She tightly pulled her dress down and bawled her eyes out.

"LISTEN, you bastard!" Vaati shouted up at the mountains. "Don't you realize we want to save the UNIVERSE?! Why won't you give us your chi?!"

 _"Because I said so, dumbass!"_

"How DARE YOU!" Vaati tried to fly into the well, but an even stronger gust kept him stationary. "Useless useless useless USELESS! !"

"Dad, please calm down!"

 _"You underestimate me? I guess you want a better demonstration!"_ With more gusto, the front strands of Vaati's hair blew off, along with his mask. The mage was finally shot out of the well and went tumbling down the stairs.

"Dad!" Wendy glided down the stairs and lifted her father's head. A green breath seemed to enter his lungs. He looked up to face Wendy, who gasped at seeing his exposed right eye; it was more slit, scarlet-red, and had a dilated pupil. What also disturbed her was the growth on his head: it looked like pink entangled vines stemming from his brain. "Dad… what's that on your head?"

 _"I believe this plan was a failure, Vaati."_ he spoke in a hissed tone.

"Yes, Voldemort… it seems Typheus will not give her the Air Chi willingly."

Wendy backed up in fear as Vaati stood. "Well… we should probably take her to be recruited." He smiled.

"V…Voldemort?!"

"No, Wendy. I'm afraid I have neglected to tell you. It is true that Voldemort and I have a mutual hatred for Lord English… but there is one other man whom we've developed a respect for: Lord DIO."

"DIO?!" Wendy now remembered the name of that vampire man.

"Lord English does not care to give us the worlds we desire… but Lord DIO is an astounding man. With his help, we can live forever, and our greatest dreams can come true. He can help you, too, Wendy! He can make all of us stronger. Lend him your faith and your trust, and we can defeat Lord English!"

"Dad, listen to yourself! This isn't you at all, you've been brainwashed!"

"No, Wendy! I truly believe Lord DIO is the answer we've been seeking! I didn't tell you before because I did not think you would understand at first. But you must trust me! I love you, Wendy, I wouldn't do this if I didn't think it would-"

Wendy swung a punch across Vaati's face, her fist hardened with Haki. The fist returned to peach color as Wendy gritted her teeth. "Why do I keep trusting you?! You SOUND like you care about me, but you…you're insane! And this whole thing with Typheus is probably part of some crazy plan, too. I'm sorry," Wendy began tapping her wristwatch, "but I'm not-" The watch was shot by a magic blast.

 _"There's no point in calling your friends."_ Voldemort said, holding the Keyblade. _"Our allies are surrounding them as we speak."_

"What?! You mean… I played into their trap…" Wendy despairingly regretted telling her friends to stay back.

"It's all right, Wendy. Lord DIO can help them, too. He will welcome ALL your friends to his-"

"SHUT UP!" Wendy shot a spell through his wind-made head. "I'm SICK of you using me! I'm going to knock some sense into you, Father! Letting Voldemort share the pain will be a bonus!"

"Hm hm hm… You're a stubborn girl, Wendy. Just like your old man. But even a stubborn man like me can understand reason. So, now I must teach you that reason." He raised his Keyblade. "If you will not join me, then I will set your soul free!" (Play "The Executor's Knight" from _Ni no Kuni_!)

 _Boss fight: Vaatimort_

Vaatimort kicked aerial slashes imbued with Haki, but Wendy swiftly evaded and dashed up to throw hardened punches. Vaati pulsed and blew her several feet away, making his legs into a whirlwind as a means to drill into her, but Wendy grabbed the base of the whirlwind in Armament hands and slammed her father against the ground. He dispersed into wind, whirling around Wendy before kicking her upside the head. She fell on her back, and when Vaatimort attempted to stomp down with piercing speed, Wendy cast Protego, followed by Reducto to explode her shield and blast him back. Wendy then leapt up to kick him in the head with an Armament foot.

"You learned Haki, I see. I expected nothing less of you."

"Thanks, but it's not mine. I borrowed Chelia's chi with the Sun Chi Lantern."

 _"How pathetic that you have to use powers that aren't yours."_

"It's not pathetic! I was only able to borrow the chi thanks to the bond we shared! Besides, how can you call me pathetic when YOU'RE sharing a body with my father?!"

 _"Because my magical prowess will always be more superior. AVADA KEDAVRA!"_ Vaatimort cast green flashes that Wendy narrowly evaded, then the dark mage flew up for some quick kicks.

Wendy recovered and ran faster than wind to gain some distance, looking back to see the swift gust of wind that was her father. Faster than she realized, Vaati glided in front of her, swinging an air-slice at her face with a kick, but Wendy ducked and performed a spin-kick, hitting Vaati's standing leg, only for the mage to flip into the air and kick both feet, blowing Wendy away with a gust. The child was quick to recover, whipping her Fairy's Tail and sending a Lightning Spell, which Vaati let pass through his whirlwind body before blasting an onslaught of magic-made stones from his Keyblade.

Wendy inched backward and rapidly blasted each rock with a spell, eyes locked tight as she reacted fast with each one. Vaati surprised her by shooting forward and swinging his wind-leg like a sword, but Wendy ducked and called "Ascendio!" to fly like a rocket, pushing her father upward. She wrapped her iron legs around his hip, arms around the waist, and spun furiously as they drilled toward the ground, attempting to land Vaati headfirst.

Just before they crashed, Vaati Apparated them several meters away, the sensation making Wendy sick to her stomach. Once it ended, Vaati slid back on his feet, while Wendy was on the ground, holding her aching belly and glaring spitefully at the Minish. Her hand still clutching her wand, she whipped an Anti-Sickness Charm just in time to dodge Vaati's Petrification Spell. "Locomotor Mortis!" Wendy cast the Leg-Lock Curse on her father, but his legs merely spun into a whirlwind before reforming. Vaati followed this with a complex series of wand movements, which brought into being a huge sphere of darkness. Wendy quickly whipped up a Shield Charm to protect herself from the explosion. The spell destroyed her shield and she was knocked backward.

Vaati lunged at her again, Wendy called "Ventus Incendio!" and sent a flaming cyclone his way, trapping the Logia wind mage within the heat. Vaati expanded a Wind Sphere and blew them all away, then saw Wendy close by. He lunged, swung his leg, but Wendy dispersed into mist, and a squadron of faded Wendy mirages surrounded him. Vaati growled and blew them away with a Wind Shockwave, but the real Wendy rolled forward and called, "Reducto!", blowing her father to smithereens. Once again, the Logia reformed himself from the wind, his legs having become a cyclone as he hovered in the air, generating a powerful breeze.

"All things in the universe become ashes! New growth cannot commence without destroying the old!" With another complex pattern of wand movements, several miles of ground around him began to disintegrate into sand, which Vaati balled up into a huge sphere he intended to send at Wendy. The Sky Dragon ran with breakneck speed, the sandball grew bigger and faster, Wendy inhaled a tremendous amount of air, whipped around, and blew the sand away with her Cyclone Roar.

Vaati was about to fly through the dust, but watched as it was all sucked away, for Wendy was running ceaselessly around a set area at lightning speed, creating an ever-growing tornado. She shortly stopped and slid away to send it at Vaati, who was unimpressed by the skimpy whirlwind. "ENGORGIO!" Wendy cast a spell, and Vaati gasped when the tornado grew twice as big and sucked him inside. Using his Logia powers, he sucked the entire thing into his form, but Wendy had already leapt at him with passion in her eyes, a miniature cyclone spiraling around her raised right fist. "Sky Dragon's CLAW!"

Her fist socked Vaatimort across the jaw, blood and teeth came out as the force of her Wind Fist blew Vaati miles across the plain, smashing through a rock before he lay on his back. Vaati helped himself up, panting heavily as he faced Wendy, who shared his exhausted appearance. Her bare feet ached from this much running, her knuckles felt sore from the punch, and she soaked with sweat. But she was gonna keep standing, keep punching, and keep holding her wand until this man was down.

"Wendy… what is this insolence? Don't you realize where we are? This is the New World! The foundation of the universe that can be! You've seen it yourself, Wendy, your World of Origin. Don't you remember how much you loved it? The home you never had? Join me, and we can create the ideal world! We will merge all dimensions into one, and rid the cosmos of boundaries, so that all beings in ALL worlds can be free to visit one-another! It is our design, Wendy, we are the gods who can decide this!"

"I'm sorry, Father, but the only world I wanna see is the world that I was born in. The same world that Lee, Cheren, Carla, and ALL of my friends live in." Wendy's Fairy's Tail emitted rainbow sparkles as she spoke. "I'm going to help them all save that world, and I'm not going to let you destroy it!"

"Don't you understand, Wendy, everything I've done has been for you! It's because of me your magic and airbending are so powerful, it's because of me that you hold the most powerful wand in your hands! After you spent so many years searching for your family, you'd go against your father?!"

"My powers are strong because I trained, I had friends to help me, and I earned this wand through my own power, not yours! And as far as I'm concerned… Mister Facilier is my father, just like Carla is my MOM! …Which sounds weird, because they're not actually married, but THAT'S how I feel! !"

 _"Enough of this prattle, Vaati! Focus!_ Phantom SHROUD!" Vaatimort sent a wave of pitch-black mist from his wand.

"Fairy GLITTER!" A golden light that rivaled the sun flew from Wendy's wand. Both forces made contact and began to push against the other. The entire field shook as they both fought to withstand the power. With a bright explosion, it all exploded into colorful glitter.

"Your magic has grown phenomenally, Wendy!" Vaati said, blowing the glitter away. "But can you do Summons? Accio Sapphire Dragon!" A magic circle spawned on the ground, bringing forth a large, sapphire Chinese dragon. The beast blew flames of the same color, turning Wendy's leg blue as she dodged.

"No, but I studied Shen Gong Wu among other things! Ventus Incendio Tria!" Wendy blasted another flaming cyclone that burned the dragon in soot. Its sapphire body blackened, the dragon shrunk down to toy size and her leg reverted to normal. She spun wind around her ankles and cast Repiti, running faster to confuse Vaatimort and leap up for a hardened kick. Vaati countered with his own Haki, exchanging kicks with his daughter in midair before Voldemort called, _"CRUCIO!"_ shooting red lightning to send Wendy to the ground in pain.

"It's useless, Wendy! (Useless, useless.) You cannot compete with mine and Voldemort's combined might! Even if you defeat us, you do not stand a chance with Lord DIO!"

"If you were in your right mind, you wouldn't say… wait a minute." Wendy just remembered: "What is that thing on your forehead?"

"This? This is a brain cell Lord DIO implanted to manipulate me."

 _"What are you doing, you fool?!"_ Voldemort hissed.

"It is the truth. Why else do I praise Lord DIO so?"

Wendy gasped. She thought back to Typheus' words: _"Only ONE may possess my Winds of Truth." "You underestimate me? I guess you want a better demonstration!"_ Then Typheus blew him out.

 _"Dad!" Wendy glided down the stairs and lifted her father's head. A green breath seemed to enter his lungs._

 _Could Typheus' wind be forcing my dad to speak the truth? That's why he told me about DIO right then. But… I wonder if…_

"Dad… do you truly love me?"

"Of course I do, Wendy! That's why I want you to trust me! Trust DIO!"

"NO! If you really loved me, you wouldn't work for that man, and you wouldn't trust Voldemort! And you wouldn't force me to get involved with them! You don't love me at all!"

"Wendy, you're wrong! I love you more than anyone! Even more than DIO, or all the people I admired! And I'm so proud of you!"

 _"ENOUGH! I cannot listen to this NONSENSE, anymore! Avada Kedavra!"_

"NO!" Vaati redirected the Keyblade and missed Wendy by an inch, the girl's heart skipping a beat. "Voldemort, don't! She just doesn't understand!"

 _"I will not let that petty emotion be the reason behind my failure! OBEY ME, VAATI! NOW!"_

"Father, the only thing I understood was you expected me to follow your philosophy and help realize your goals. I'm more like a tool to you than a daughter. Right now is no different. You don't really love me."

"Aaaagh… Wendy… I…" Vaati was struggling for control of the Keyblade. "I…I…" Wendy remained still as the blade aimed at her. "AaaaaAAAHH!" With a sudden burst of willpower, Vaati turned it on his chest. "SEPARO!" He stabbed himself and freed a darkened heart from his chest. (End song.)

 _"AAAAAAAHHHhhh…"_ The heart reformed into Voldemort's decaying, ghostly form.

"Father!" Wendy hurried over as the Minish dropped to his knees, the Keyblade vanishing.

"Huff… Wendy… Please… destroy this growth on my head! I don't believe I really want to serve DIO…"

"Are you sure? Is it safe?"

"No, if you destroy it, it will damage my brain. But I don't care, I don't want to hurt you anymore, Wendy!"

"No! I want to help you, Dad! If we defeat DIO, maybe the growth will go away!"

"Please, just do it, Wendy! Otherwise, Voldemort may possess me again. It's too late for me… but you must keep surviving."

"But… Father… I—AAAH!" She was stabbed from behind.

"WENDY!"

"The faith in this one was strong." Xehanort smirked, his Keyblade impaled into her heart. "She will make an excellent meal for Jones." He extracted it as the heart came out in the form of a light. "For you, Voldy."

The dark wizard's spirit entered Wendy's soulless body. The child's eyes became scarlet slits, her face baring a devilish smirk. "Wait, something's not quite right." Baldy Bald said, proceeding to shave Wendy's hair off completely. "PERFECT!"

"Yes… it is perfect!" Lord Voldemort spoke in the child's voice. "How I have LONGED to dance again!" He kicked Wendy's feet gracefully.

"You… What have you done?!" Vaati hissed.

"Do you really think I planned to stay in that atrocious body of yours? This child's magic and power is FAR greater! And once Lord DIO makes this body into a vampire, Lord Voldemort will RISE again!" He spawned the Keyblade in one hand and held the Fairy's Tail in the other.

"Now, we allowed you to keep YOUR heart, Vaati," Xehanort explained, "because after this transition, we thought we could still use your strength. But since DIO's mind-control on you is faltering, we'll have to do the next best thing." He raised Wendy's heart in hand and said, "I will feed this pure little heart to Jones, along with Sugar's once the Heartless have finished her. Soon, I will reforge the-" The heart brimmed just then and soared across the sky. "What? Where is it going?"

"YAH!" Vaati kicked the three villains with Haki. Xehanort retaliated with Keyblade strikes, but Vaati's kicks proved faster.

"Voldemort, use this portal!" Xehanort opened one. "I think I know where that heart is heading!"

Sugar and Carla were exhausting their selves fighting the Heartless swarm. Meloetta saw a light flying their direction, smiling in recognition. "Sugar, open wide!"

"Huh? Aaaaah?" Sugar opened her mouth like at a doctor visit. Wendy's heart whooshed over and shot down her throat. "Guuuh!" An odd sensation overcame her. Carla and even the Heartless looked with confusion.

When Sugar came to, her purple eyes had become brown. "Wh…Whuh? What happened to me?! I grew breasts?!"

They turned purple. "Who said that?! Wendy? Is that you?"

"Sugar? I… Am I in your body?!"

"Surprise!" Meloetta grinned. "I cast that spell on you two while you were asleep! I connected your hearts and voices, so if one of you lost yours, you could share it with the other!"

"I…I can't…" Carla was beyond baffled. "How could you have known… I-I'M not even sure what's happening!"

"Just call it a hunch!"

"This is really strange…" Wendy flexed Sugar's left leg and rubbed her right hip. "It's like I went through a major growth spurt. And I have a bunch of memories I don't remember having."

"This might take some getting used to." Sugar said. "Why did this happen, anyway?"

The answer to this question came in the form of a dark portal, from which Wendy's true body stepped out. "Why did he warp me to you two?"

"Oh, my word!" Carla exclaimed in horror. "What happened to your hair, Child?!"

"It's Voldemort! Voldemort took my body!" Wendy shouted.

 _"He did?!"_ the three chorused.

"He's a _perveeerrrt_!" Meloetta sung.

"I AM NOT!" Wendimort shouted. "I merely wanted to regain a bit of youth! But never did I believe I would hold the all-powerful Fairy's Tail in my hand…" He stared at the gold wand with delight. "Let's see how powerful it truly is. Avada Kedav—RAH!" The wand jolted out of his hand and into Sugar's.

"The wand wouldn't listen to a creep like you." Wendy stated. "But can I even use it in this body?"

"CRUCIO!" Voldemort cast from his Keyblade.

"PROTEGO!" Wendy cast a shield to block the red lightning.

"It seems to work, Wendy!" Sugar beamed. "We can take your body back like this!"

"How can those two fight with one body?" Carla asked. "They'll cause each other to trip!"

"They can work, they can work, they'll do a twerk and KICK that jerk!" Meloetta danced. "Just tell your hearts what to do and your body will move!"

"Wendy, why don't you be my arms and I'll do the dancing?"

"Good idea. But if we're going to dance, we need some music! Do you mind if I borrow your bending?"

"Not at all, Wendy!" So with that, Wendy cast a neon beacon up into the sky, turning the indigo into rainbow as notes flowed everywhere.

"Musical magic?!" Voldemort said in bewilderment. "How do you expect THIS to defeat me?!"

"The same way you were defeated last time, Voldy: with the power of love! Just see how compatible me and Sugar truly are!"

 _Phase 2: Wendimort_

 _"What a strange new feeling… I'm sharing here with you."_ Sugar's feet guided their body while Wendy's arms guided the notes.

 _"I am you, and you are me. I'll stick to you like glue!"_ Wendy cast a spell that binded Voldemort in glue, then directed a barrage of music notes to stick to him. Voldemort kept a firm grip on the Keyblade and cut the glue with magic. He made a tornado spiral around the Keyblade and slashed it at the woman, but Sugar's graceful movements enabled them to dodge the wind with ease.

 _"I was fine when we were apart. Two minds and two hearts!"_

 _"Now we are one! Just us two! And may I say that we're beau-ti-fu'!"_

"Oh, please." Carla scoffed at the cheap rhyme.

 _"I'm dancing with myself!"_ Sugar glided forward and swung kicks that Voldemort failed to evade. _"And it doesn't feel so weird!"_ The dark wizard recovered and swung his own kicks, but they were outmatched by Sugar's older, buffer legs. _"When I'm looking at me by looking from you… I only feel endeared."_

"Curse this child's feeble body!" Voldemort growled. "Avada Kedavra Protego!" The wizard formed a bright green shield composed of Death Magic. The shield followed him as he ran at Sugar, who formed a Song Road with her legs and soared across the air.

 _"Weeeee two are compaaaatible. Trust in me and I'll trust in you."_ Using her wand, Wendy collected the notes from the Song Road and had them glide behind her. They swooped down over Voldemort, bombarding the wizard with the notes. _"Just look at that fool! Soooo confused! He – can't – even DANCE!"_

"Thundaga REDUCTO!" Voldemort cast a thunderbolt, passing the woman as it exploded and knocked them out of the air. "Locomotor Wibbly!" He successfully turned Sugar's legs into jelly, crippling her dancing. "And now… EVENSTAR!" Voldemort performed the complicated wand movements that would summon the sphere of darkness.

"Carla, Meloetta, get over here!" Wendy yelled. The kitten and Firstborn flew to her side. "PROTEGO!" Wendy formed a shield to protect them once more. Again, the dark explosion shattered the bubble, with the girls surviving with minimal damage.

Voldemort Apparated above Sugar to stomp her face, then warped once more before she could counter. "Evenst- uuuulp…" Voldemort felt his stomach tighten from the Apparition.

"For once, I'm thankful for my motion sickness." Wendy said.

"Wendy, if he's going to keep doing that, we have to finish him off quickly! Without killing your body, I mean. Do you have any spells for this situation."

"Er… there is one, but I'm worried if…"

"You're thinking of Fairy Law."

"How did you know?"

"We're sharing the same brain, smarty!"

"Mavis told me that Fairy Law destroys all who I consider my enemy. But she said it's too powerful for an ordinary human to use. And you aren't even magic, Sugar!"

"If we don't stop him, we'll all be finished! I'll be fine, Wendy, I promise."

"Hold on!" Carla shouted. "What effect will this spell have on Wendy's body?!"

"Wendy doesn't consider her _own_ body an enemy, right?" Meloetta beamed. "Just the soul inside it. If you believe the spell will work, then try it!"

"Come on, Wendy!" Sugar withstood the jelly in her legs and stood firmly on her feet. "Let's do it, together!"

"Okay, Sugar. I trust you." She held the Fairy's Tail in both hands and focused with the full strength of her spirit. A ray of light glimmered around them as passionate energy built up in her wand.

 _"You and I… our hearts are one. But we are not the same."_

Having recovered from his sickness, Voldemort began to conceive the Evenstar. _"You must return to your home! Return to your voice, your heart, and soul!"_

"Why have you all been standing there?!" Voldemort shouted at the Heartless army. "Attack them!" The creatures jumped to realization and readied to attack. Meloetta kept them at bay with weaker Song Beams and Carla did head-butts.

 _"Although we are apart… we will always be together. 'Cause I love you. And you love me. We will always be togetheeeeerrr! Fairyyyy LAAAAW!"_ An explosion of holy light BURST from the Fairy's Tail. The Heartless army disintegrated.

The light spread all across the canyon, destroying all remaining evils. Xehanort, Baldy, and Vaati gaped as the light was about to drown them. "That light is dangerous! Let's GO, Baldy Bald!" Xehanort grabbed his comrade and vanished in darkness. Vaati shielded his eyes as the light engulfed him. He expected to be lost in the whiteness, but instead what burned was DIO's brain cell.

Voldemort cast Protego to shield himself, but this did not stop the light from touching him. _"NOOOOO!"_ His decaying soul was pushed out of Wendy's body. The soul turned to spiritual dust and was gone.

The light disappeared and the neon sky turned back to indigo. Both Sugar and Wendy's bodies collapsed. The red in Wendy's eyes became a dull brown, and the Keyblade disappeared.

"Wendy!" Carla cried.

"Sugar!" Meloetta followed.

"Nnngh… we're fine." Sugar cracked a smile. "Hurry, Meloetta… put Wendy's heart back."

Meloetta nodded. Using what energy remained with her, the Firstborn sensed Wendy's soul inside her master's body, slowly moved it up out of her throat, and held it. She floated over to put the heart back down Wendy's own throat. She breathed and helped herself to her feet. "Thank you." she said to the Firstborn. Wendy hurried to her friend's aid. She took her wand back and cast, "Curaga." A green spark touched and replenished Sugar.

"Thanks, Wendy… but I still can't get up." Sugar weakly pushed up with her arms.

"I'm sorry, Sugar. I shouldn't have tried that-"

"Forget it, Wendy." Sugar smiled. "I knew you wouldn't have risked my life willingly… that's why I had to insist with my own mind. You only decided to because I really wanted you to. And thanks to our teamwork, another Darkness is destroyed."

"Sugar… you're a great friend." Wendy smiled.

"You're the _best_ friend!" Sugar grinned. "…Don't tell Chelia, she'll be offended!"

"Nah, she'd prob'ly agree."

"Ha ha ha ha!" They shared a laugh.

"Well, I'm glad everything is okay in the end." Carla said. "But, Wendy…" The cat immediately flew up, bit her daughter's ear, and tugged aggressively. "Don't EVER run off on your own, again! ! Do you think being a mother is easy, you worry me to DEATH, Child, the second we have a moment of peace, you are GROUNDED!"

"Yes, Mom, okay, I'm sorry, ow!" Wendy cried.

"I don't think the moment of peace is now, though!" Meloetta yelled. "Look!"

Another army was marching up across the field. This time, they were legions of ice soldiers, led by General Esdeath. "It's a Backup Army!" Sugar yelled. "And Baldy Bald ate the Song Bird, so we can't escape!"

"You ladies look tired." Esdeath smirked. "Easy pickings. Soldiers, ATTACK-!" Bombs rained down from the heavens and shattered the minions.

 _"Sorry to keep you waiting!"_ Nagisa's voice rang from the speakers of the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. III. The ship landed, blocking the girls from the army. "Get on!"

Ice soldiers charged forth, but Morgiana used Rocket Kicks to shoot around and crush the frozen liquids with red hot legs. She braced herself when Esdeath charged at her, but Nagisa used Shaved to zip in front of the general, then Iron Body to withstand her sword. "Huh?" The boy's appearance caught her by surprise.

"Tempest Kick!" Nagisa slashed an airwave from his leg and cut a horde of icemen in half. Esdeath slashed ice waves, but using Paper Art, Nagisa evaded them. He then Shaved behind Esdeath and used, "Finger Pistol!" to stab her in the hip.

"Aaah!" It was a minor wound, but it still hurt.

"We're ready to go, Nagisa!" Goombella called.

"C'mon, Morg!" Nagisa Moon Walked toward the ship while Morg made a great leap. They boarded the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. and took flight.

Esdeath froze the wound in ice before looking their direction. "That boy… I wonder… how old he is." Her face reddened and heart raced. Esdeath was in love.

"Take us over to that canyon first!" Wendy requested. "There's someone else we need to get!"

The group found a half-conscious Vaati panting on the ground. As Wendy lifted her father's arms over her shoulders, Nagisa discovered a Catch Card on the ground, depicting a blonde girl with glasses named Lotte Jansson. "This all would make such a neat story if I wasn't so terrified." Lotte said.

"Yeah, hopefully we'll have a chance to write it." Nagisa remarked, putting the card in his pocket.

 **Hivebent**

The trolls awaited Sector SA's landing. Nagisa and Morgiana helped walk Sugar off the vessel, and Wendy helped her father. "Is that VOLDEMORT?!" Karkat exclaimed.

"No, he's not. Not, anymore." Wendy said.

She brought her father to the Penance Chamber, pushed him inside, and shut the door. Vaati was on hands and knees, catching his breath. "Wendy… My daughter… I'm sorry. I kept thinking I was doing what was best for you… but I was blinded by darkness the whole time. My soul was too weak… and my desires corrupted me."

"…Father… I want to hate you. You made too many bad mistakes… but you made them all for me. Because you love me. And I…I love you, too."

Vaati smiled and glanced to her with his good eye. "I'm glad I was able to see you come this far. It's up to you now, Wendy. You and your friends… must defeat Lord English. Save the universe… so that you and Charle can live happily."

"Won't you like to live with us?"

"Hm hm… I appreciate the offer, but I still believe in true freedom. After the worlds are restored, I will continue my quest to rid the universe of governments or borders. The least I can do is leave my child out of it."

"Hee hee… Father, if you kept causing more trouble, I would have to come and stop you. You'll just make more trouble for me."

"Ha ha ha… then I look forward to seeing my daughter blossom even further. Good luck, Wendy. I believe in you."

Wendy kissed the part of the cell that was lined up with his cheek. "Love you, Daddy." She turned to leave.

"I love you, too, Wendy."

* * *

 **And I also planned for this to be the _seventh_ Darkness fight. Because Wendy gets a bunch of "seven" references, yet she isn't a Light. XD**


	18. Over the Ring

**There's a lot of perviness in this chapter! ;3**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-18: Over the Ring_**

 **The Planet Tree**

Ganondorf clashed furiously with the mysterious being in white, whose sword matched Ganon's in speed and strength. Ghirahim jumped the stranger from behind with two swords—the stranger slashed airwaves to knock him back. Ganon flew higher and charged a massive dark sphere above his hands, breaking it into energy missiles that swarmed the stranger from many directions. The figure swiftly batted the missiles away, and barely dodged when Ghirahim tried to stab down from above.

The figure blocked Ghirahim's rapid strikes, slipping around the Demon Lord for a backslash, only for Ghira to dodge. Ganondorf roared a Dark Song Beam at him, but Cheren appeared to bounce the notes back with the Mirror Shield. "Hey, glad you're still here!" Cheren smiled.

 _"You again? Did you find Azelf?"_

"Nope, not exactly. But I heard you were around and wanted to get you!"

 _"Well, can it wait? I'm trying to rescue-"_ Cheren interrupted by yanking off the guy's head wrapping, exposing his surprised face.

"I thought it was you, Nerehc!"

"Hey, give that back!" Nerehc reached for the wrapping, but Cheren played 'Keep Away.'

"Dude, why you wearing this thing? I thought your face was ugly or something."

"I'm wearing it to look cool!"

"'The heck is cool about this thing?"

"It just is, okay?!"

"I wasn't fooled for a second, Nerehc." Ganondorf smirked. "I could smell my blood in your veins. Though I am surprised you escaped the Sanzu River-"

"Like anyone finds the flashy gold clothes catchy!" Nerehc argued, much to Ganon's chagrin.

"At least I ain't _trying_ to look cool, it's just dorky when you dress yourself up like this."

"You're the dork, man, you act way too peppy."

"Who doesn't like someone peppy?"

"Someone who's tired of barrel-rolling."

"Grrrrr! Are you ignoring me?!" Ganon grumbled.

"Shoosh, Ganny, the grown-ups are talking." Nerehc said.

"I'm thousands of years older than you! !"

"But _I'm_ a reincarnation of Link," Cheren smirked wryly, "therefore making me older than you."

"Demon King Demise existed before Link, you fool."

"And Vriska existed before him!"

"I sure did!" Vriska beamed. Ganon whipped around in shock, seeing the troll floating above with a Catch Card in hand. "Is THIS your card, Nerry?"

"Who are you?" asked Apis, the girl trapped in the card. "Oh! Cheren, Nerehc!"

"So, Sipa was right." Nerehc smiled. "She used magic to trace her Positive's location in a mirror, but she just got an image of Ganon's pocket. Wellp, that'll be all, Ganon. See ya!" He flew away, Cheren following.

"Oh, and Ganon, can't have you fooling around here." Vriska said before catching him and Ghirahim in psychic. She teleported them easily and proceeded to leave.

 ** _King Dutchman_**

Xehanort and Baldy Bald warped to Davy Jones' cabin. "I apologize, Captain Jones." Xehanort said. "I planned to steal Wendy and Sugar's hearts to join Sheila's inside you. But it seems they planned ahead."

"Perhaps it was for the best-ah." Jones said as he touched his chest. "Even with the girl's 'pure heart' inside me, I have stopped feeling her warmth. No amount of light will touch me."

"No, Jones, the fault is not yours… because the magic of Thanos' Infinity Stones has reversed, you have reverted back to your Inferi state. You are less than you were in your previous undead state. But with enough of those hearts, you can be reborn anew. Your body and your spirit will feel warmth like you have never known. And I'm sure Seven will be a good number."

"And you plan on seizing the hearts of the Seven Lights-ah?"

"Well… that _was_ the original plan. However, they are not the same as the Seven Princesses from my dimension. Indeed, Sheila, Suki, Fybi, and… I don't know about Zach, have youthful, energetic hearts full of love and life. Meanwhile, Jessie, April, and even Kimaya—while their intentions are pure—have fragments of darkness inside them. They would not be suitable for you, Jones." _Or for me._

"How very thoughtful of you." Jones said with sarcasm. "Then tell me, would Manaphy's heart suffice?"

"With those Firstborn, I want none of you to take a chance." They all turned attention to Bill Cipher in the doorway. "They've been a pain in our hide for too long. Fortunately, their new human forms will be their downfall."

"Right!" Baldy Bald grinned viciously as his right hand glowed pink. "My Red Magic completely Baldified Meloetta's rainbow hair! Nothing ruins a kid's confidence more than being totally shaven! And I've been saving an attack up to shave those Firstborn all in one stroke!"

"The problem is that attack likely won't affect Crest or Diancie." Bill mentioned. "They don't have 2nd Age forms, so no hair to lose. Luckily, Crest is staying on Emera to keep the Ether under control. We need to infiltrate the trolls' hideout again and recover Yellow Diamond."

"Leave that to me." Zorc said, spawning from a dark portal. ("YIPE!" yelped Baldy.) "Those children are bound to find more cards. They won't expect me to sneak in through one of them."

"Won't the children be crossing the Furthest Ring soon?" Jones inquired. "That will be our chance to ambush them."

"Yes." Xehanort stroked his beard. "And during which, we can execute one of the Seven Lights. Just as Lord English predicted!"

 **Hivebent**

"Everyone, may I present NEREHC!" Cheren announced to his friends with a shiny smile. "He was alive after all!"

 _"HOLY CRAP! !"_ everyone chorused. "Even though we kinda predicted he would turn up." Aurora said.

"Why would Cheren survive and not Nerehc?" Haru inquired.

"And don't forget he's only here because I had to resize him." Nebula reminded. "He made me promise not to tell because 'he wanted it to be cool.'"

"Cool, schmool!" Chimney retorted. "I'm just glad my Apis-chan's back!" She hugged her friend's card tightly. "I was so worried you were DEAD!"

 _"Chimney, I'm gonna die from this tight hug if you don't free me from this card!"_

"Mind filling us in, Nerehc?" Cheren asked.

"Well, after I drowned in the Sanzu River, the Fierce Deity's spirit rescued me and brought me to Limbo. I spent the next few years trying to merge my spirit with his in the hopes I could regain a bit of power."

"Right, because King Andrew destroyed the mask… heh, I guess we owe him one! So, _are_ you alive, or are you still a spirit?"

"I'm… _sorta_ both? I mean, you evolved into a god, so the universe didn't know where to put me."

"How long have you been 'back', exactly?"

"About six months. The first thing I did was go to Nega-Sector W7."

 _Sipa casually returned to her room and opened the closet. "Hu—NEREH-!"_

 _Nerehc clamped her mouth shut. "Shhhh… For the next hour, I'm all yours."_

 _". . . !" Sipa's eyes watered with joy._

 _About 10 minutes later, Asia visited her room. "Sipa, I was wondering if I could borrow some potions… Sipa, you in here?" She heard something from the closet and flew to check. "AAH!"_

 _"Oop-!" Nerehc and Sipa flinched. Their mouths were stuck together like glue._

"Then I reintroduced myself to all the DNK." Nerehc said.

"Didn't bother to tell us, eh?"

"Nnnnope!" Nerehc grinned. "So, what did I miss? Are you all, like, super-overpowered now?"

"All except the non-Firstborn Guardians!" Tronta joked.

"It Seems The Only Firstborn Missing Are Azelf, Mesprit, And Uxie." Kanaya reported from her computer. "Unfortunately, Mew's Guardian Has Been Zombified By The Original Grandfather. As Has Mary."

"WHAT?! Mary turned evil?!" Chimney exclaimed. "Does this mean we gotta kill her?!"

"NO, Chimney! It means we gotta beat Grandfather and save them!" Aisa argued.

"Oh, screw them! It's their fault that April-chan got blowed up!"

"April can't be dead. I would've felt her life force decay with my Mantra. I'm sure she just escaped into a painting again."

"Let's just go help them!" Chris insisted eagerly. "I've been dying to duke it out with Grandfather again!"

"Think about Sunni first, why don't ya." Maddy said reprovingly.

"We can save her if we beat Grandfather, duh! If I could beat _my_ Grandfather (who is my great-grandfather), I can beat this one!"

"I doubt Bil would include Grand in his Backup Army without reason" Eridan implied. "he may be stronger than you deem him"

"Really, you shortened a fur-letter name?" -3- Nepeta remarked.

"Honestly, I don't doubt that Chris could beat him, either." Cheren said. "I say give him a chance."

"Yeah, but we should keep Mew away from Sunni until she's fixed." Dillon suggested. "Since the most powerful beings in the universe have no free will to us."

"It's not our fault…" Midna mumbled.

"I Think Sunni Was Taken Aboard The _Dutchman_." Kanaya reported. "It's Sailing Toward The Furthest Ring."

"We had to go that way anyway, didn't we?" Cheren asked. "It's perfect! We can confront them as we're crossing it!"

"Did you forget the ravenous space demons that wait to drag explorers into nothingness?!" Karkat yelled. "No matter how overpowered you think you are, our priority should be reaching the other side. Let's wait for Terezi and Kimaya to come back first. The hell is taking those two so long?!"

"They're Coming Right Now On Sector KB's Ship!" Kanaya exclaimed. "They're Being Joined By A Gummi Ship."

The sector docked in the hangar, baring morbid expressions as they entered the main room. "So, um, did you find the Keyblade Master?" Cheren asked.

"Wait, where's Terezi?" Karkat realized.

"OH, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT!" Bon Clay cried. "We were too late, we couldn't save her!"

Karkat and Cheren gasped: when Sora arrived, he was carrying Terezi's dead body. Teal blood leaked from the wound in her head. "TEREZI!" Karkat ran up and grabbed his friend by the arms. "DAMMIT, DON'T PLAY THIS STUPID GAME WITH ME! We need you, Terezi, WE NEED YOU!" He shook her, crying tears. Terezi's glasses fell off, but her blind red eyes looked no different. "This is some trick, isn't it?! You won't wake up unless you smell my blood?! THEN HERE!" He dropped Terezi, grabbed her walking stick, and stabbed himself in the arm. "SEE? SMELL IT!" Red blood leaked as Karkat held the wound beside her nose. "You wanted this all along! My candy red blood, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! WAKE UP, TEREZI, WAKE UP!"

"Poor Karkat…" Arianna folded hands over her chest.

"Come on, Terezi, we needed you! We were gonna go back to Alternia, we were gonna destroy Lord English! You can't die before finishing the mission, DAMMIT!"

Wendy walked up and cast Curaga on him. "Karkat, she's gone. Cutting yourself won't bring her back. I…I'm sorry."

"Sigh… Terezi…" Karkat stood up and kicked her. "You couldn't handle a simple search mission. Ugh… I'm gonna go lie down." He walked away. "Go put her body with the other ones."

"Geez, that guy has issues." Nerehc said.

"Reminds you of a couple people, right?" Cheren replied.

A quarter hour passed after Terezi's body was taken to the morgue, where Suki and Miyuki still watched over their father, and Mason was holding Sheila's hand. "Celebi, would it really be a bad thing to heal them?" Arianna asked.

"Shortened lifespans notwithstanding, applying too much Life Chi to a mortal would increase their pain reception, too. Just like it did to Zeref."

"So many inconveniences." Melody complained.

"Speaking of which, is Sugar going to be okay, Melody?"

"Well, using that powerful spell made her bones super brittle. Thankfully, Feferi has her own private bath. I mixed Healing Chi in the water and Wendy used magic to keep it constant. She and Meloetta should be good as new if they bathe for long enough!"

"I'm glad to hear that."

"And best of all, Vweeb offered to help wash them. He said he's well-experienced in that regard." Melody smirked.

"Oh! Well, that's very kind of him!" Ari smiled.

 _". . . . . . HOLD ON, WHAT?! ?"_ they all chorused.

 **Feferi's bathroom**

"Siiiigh… This bath is so amazing…" Sugar's aching body was limp in the glimmering water, as though her soul had left her body to float in the soothing steam. "I'm so sore… what if I can never dance again?"

"That's nonsense, your body's a picture of health!" Vweeb said positively, massaging Sugar's shoulders. A cloud of bubbles hid his nudity. "Your arms and legs feel like they can break steel!"

"Hm hm hm! Well, who am I to argue with a more detailed perspective? This bath just wouldn't be complete without you, Cutie."

 _"YOU LITTLE CREEP! ! !"_ The aliens, Haruka, and MaKayla barged in in a fury.

"AAAH!" Sugar yelped. "Guys, don't scare us like that!"

"It's rude to enter a bathroom without knocking!" Vweeb shouted.

"DON'T TALK TO US ABOUT RUDE!" Haruka screamed. "Another friend just died and you're getting pervy with Sugar?!"

"For your information, poor little Vweeb has been traumatized by all that's been happening." Sugar defended. "His mom always gave him baths whenever he got upset, but since she isn't here, I'm the only grown woman to fill the role. And what a _good_ little helper he's been. Mmmmmwah." Sugar bent her head down and kissed him.

"Besides, in ancient days, there were no gender boundaries!" Meloetta reasoned. "What we're doing is completely natural. Isn't that right, Celebi?"

"She's not wrong…" the Forest Spirit agreed.

"I'm going to punish you later, Brother." Makava threatened.

"Sugar, hide me!" Vweeb ducked into her cleavage.

"It's alright, sweetie! Stay in there as long as you need to!"

 _"QUIT ENCOURAGING HIM! !"_

"Ha ha ha!" Cheren laughed as he and Nebula watched the commotion. "You can't blame Vweeb for adding a little light to the mood, can ya?"

"Things never change, it seems." Nebula shook her head. "So, are we going to cross the Furthest Ring anytime soon? Kanaya determined a good flight path for us."

"Yeah, we should get going ASAP. Let's run the plan through with the others first."

 **The Furthest Ring**

The _Noah_ sailed to what seemed to be the very edge of the Galactic Sea, minutes from going over an expansive waterfall of stars. All operatives in attendance were gathered on the deck, save for ones watching over their fallen comrades or the ones resting. "This sure is a weird fortress." Cheren said, casually holding the large, purple 2-D square that Hivebent had compressed into. "It's as light as a window pane."

"FYBI!" Haylee called from the helm. "What's the situation like?!"

"I see no fierce beings of the deep!" Fybi replied as she flew partway over the falls. "But we canst not drop guard. I fear they await us."

"Y8R, there 8e no excuses on this vessel, m8ys!" Vriska declared.

"KOI, for today, we sail into the unknown!" Feferi announced, posing beside her on the keel.

"What are you two doing? ?" Cheren laughed.

"We like pirates, yo!" Feferi grinned.

"Aye, so get with the program!" :::; D Vriska winked.

"O-kay!" Haylee smirked with enthusiasm. "Beyond the Furthest Ring we go!"

The _Noah_ WHOOSHED over the edge of the falls and soared over the black nothing. Haylee examined the chart provided by Kanaya: "Buckle in, guys, this road's about to go ROAD HOUSE!" She kicked the wheel—the ark forcefully turned right as the passengers collapsed—gigantic spatial cracks ripped open in the place they would've sailed. Haylee kicked the wheel left, another tight turn that dodged more cracks. "Road House! Road House! Road- Road- ROAD HOUSE!" She excitedly shouted with each kick.

"SIS, TAKE IT EASY!" Harry cried.

"Okay!" Haylee caught her breath. "We cleared the ripples. Now we should see some monsters!"

 _"RAAAAAAAHHHHH!"_ The Space Kraken was the first behemoth to rise.

"You've traveled far, Kids Next Door!" Davy Jones rode the Kraken's crown. "But at last, your journey ends here. DINNER, BOYS-AH!"

 ** _"ROOOOAAAARRR!"_** A swarm of galactic demons burst out of the darkness. Fybi rapidly shot arrows at the nosehair tentacles wiggling out of a giant nose, and Chris fired Combustion Beams into the mouth of a giant alligator with buzzsaw teeth. Six giant, red humanoid hands grabbed the _Noah_ 's deck from below, but Midna grew six Hair Hands to rip them off. A cloud of colorful, neon lights seemed to be fluttering above them—it was a giant butterfly, mesmerizing the heroes with divine colors. Jirachi used magic to shrink the butterfly to a tiny glimmer, the kids regaining focus just in time to attack more monsters.

"Suh-PRIIIIIISSSE!" Czar Baldy Bald was gliding above the giant butterfly using a Cow Kite (literally a living cow as light as a kite). With the bug out of the way, he cast four snaky beams of pink energy. "Super Fist of Pink Magic: Pervy Baldification!" The Pink Magic latched onto the Firstborn. Celebi, Manaphy, Jirachi, and Midna not only lost their hair, their new clothes were shaven off, too.

"GYAAAH! I'M NAKED!" Jirachi screamed.

"What kind of demented attack is this?!" Midna panicked, not able to command her Hair Hands.

"Melody, hide me!" Manaphy flopped behind his niece.

"Manaphy, what's the matter with you?! You used to be naked all the time! Heck, you're STILL naked!"

"It's true that _babies_ never have a problem with being naked," Baldy explained, "but their mentalities change with their bodies! Even the mighty Firstborn are powerless to public humiliation!"

 _"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"_ All the space demons were pointing and laughing. An embarrassed Midna hid inside Dillon's shadow.

"Come on! You can't let something as dumb as THIS stop you!" Dillon protested.

"NOOOOOO!" Aeincha began crying. "You horrible monster! ! How could you ruin all that beautiful hair! I can't imagine anything worse than pure, utter baldness!"

 _"GYOOOM!"_ Chimney was tackled by a small creature, knocking Aeincha off her head. "Gonbe!" she gasped.

Chimney tried to restrain the Heartless rabbit, but it escaped her grasp and hopped up to snatch Aeincha in its teeth. "WAAAAH! CHIMNEY, HELP-!" They both vanished in a dark warp.

"NOO! Gonbe, where'd you take Aeinchan?! OIII, ANSWER ME!"

"Up there!" Aisa pointed at the Kraken. Xehanort appeared beside Jones, and Gonbe by his feet.

"Thank you, my pet." Xehanort calmly picked Aeincha up.

"HEEEELP! CREEPY OLD MAN!"

"Silence!" Xehanort used his minimized Keyblade to stab the tiny, extracting a little glimmer of light that was her heart. Jones lightly caught it with a tentacle and licked it off.

"It's small… but satisfying."

"A light treat, at best." Xehanort threw Aein's soulless body over. Fybi swooped by to catch and bring her back to Chimney's hands.

"Not Aeincha, too." Aisa said sadly.

"XEHANORT!" Sora shouted up at the Darkness. "You didn't forget about me, did you?! Come back down so we can settle this!"

"Maybe some other time, Sora. Jones, let us retreat for now."

"My hunger is not yet satisfied, you coward-ah!"

"His Lordship will take care of the rest!" Xehanort opened a portal and dragged the captain inside.

"With the hair of the Firstborn absorbed into my body, I can use my most powerful attack, YET!" declared Baldy. "Super Fist of Blue Magic: GO LONG!" With a POOF of smoke, the dark sea had become a humongous football field.

"How does stripping god kids naked give you THAT technique?!" Maddy questioned.

 _"Go long!"_ Baldy seemed to chuck a football—when it got close enough, it turned out to be a tour bus, smashing Maddy underneath. Next, he threw an oil drum that Chris shot with combustion, creating a bright explosion that blocked their vision of a radio tower, a sunken pirate ship, an island turtle, and a trailer.

"YAH!" Chris destroyed said trailer with a mighty flaming punch. Unfortunately, the Kanker Sisters came out of it. "Ooo, look at this guy!" Marie grinned, grabbing his head.

"Hu hu hu! I LIKE bald guys!" May giggled goofily.

"I say we decorate it, girls!" Lee followed. The Kankers giggled and began to pummel Chris with kisses.

"Uhhh, Maddy? I'm starting to believe in cooties again! HELP!"

"I'll save you, Chris!" Zach yelled.

"Okay, fine, Zach, anyone can help!"

"Super Fist of The Fool: Illegal Immigrant Banishment Program!"

"Uh… huh?" Chris and the Kankers realized they were on a catapult. "WAAA _AAH…"_ And with that, they went hurdling away.

"Good-bye, annoying women."

"What about Chris?!" Maddy shouted.

"Oh, he'll be fine. I set it to land him in a tropical paradise." But when Zach checked the label on his catapult, it read _Bacon Factory_. "Yuh-oh. I'll take _mine_ medium rare."

"Not funny, Bro."

"I'll bring the Firstborn's clothes back with my bending!" MaKayla said, charging Time Chi in her staff. She formed a blue bubble over Jirachi first to Rewind his time—he transformed into a pumpkinhead. "Huh?!"

"I thought you might do that!" Baldy smirked. "So, **I** went back in time and planted Jirachi's egg inside a pumpkin patch!"

"Since when can YOU timebend?!"

"I bought a pair of Time Pants on eBay." He was wearing pants with lots of clocks.

"Here's what I think of your Time Pants!" Aurora flew up with Rocket Boost, flipped, and turned her leg to ice before kicking Crotchy in the balls. I mean… the other way.

Cheren Uno and Nerehc Onu flew like twin spiraling lights, one white and one gold, piercing five monsters through the heart. _"GUU-HUUUUUUUH!"_ A terrifying cartoon rabbit with psychotic eyes leapt toward them with a mouth bigger than its body. Cheren and Nerehc crossed swords like an 'X', the rabbit missing them completely as it landed. …Its head slid off from the cut.

A giant hornet shot stingers down at Kimaya like bullets, the girl swiftly batting them away with both Keyblades. "Nice reflexes!" Sora complimented. "But let me show you a REAL trick!" With a flash of magic from his Keyblade, Sora conjured a roller coaster of light, its tracks going just under the bee so the coaster would crash into it. Still dragging the bee along, the coaster made a turn towards the ship's port, and Sora jumped off to let it crash and crush the monster.

"LEMME GO AFTER THEM!" Chimney demanded, restrained by her friends. "LEMME GO!"

"Chimney, they've already gone!" Aisa yelled. "Calm down, we'll track them eventually!"

"This never woulda happened if we just rode my train! We woulda gone so fast, we'd go through them like a ghost!"

"CHIMNEY, YOU'RE A GENIUS! !" screamed Kodama. "Karin-chan, use your ghost powers to make the ship intangible and phase us through these monsters!"

"This whole ship?! You're insane!"

"What if Wendy used her magic to power you up?" Cheren asked.

"Er… well, it'd have to be a heck of a power up."

"Wendy, try it! The faster we can get past this area, the better!"

"Alright, Cheren." The bald-headed mage nodded seriously. "ARMS!" Wendy cast the enhancement charm over Karin. The ghost girl phased down into the core of the _Noah_ , planting her body firmly against it and releasing a great surge of her Ghost Chi. Thanks to Wendy's spell, it could spread through the whole of the ark, making the planets and all her teammates intangible.

A galactic sea serpent, whose mouth was wide enough to swallow the vessel whole, lunged forward and completely phased through the ship. "It's working!" Haylee exclaimed. "Karin, just keep that up and we'll be through here in three minutes!"

"Hnnnnnnnnrrrrrrr!" Karin used every fiber of her being to keep hold. "Make it. . . twoooooo!"

An array of ravenous demons tried to attack them, and there was no doubt the kids would exhaust their selves in physical battle. They stayed on deck, protected by their friend's spiritual energy. "There's the end!" Augustus beamed at the sight of a waterfall of stars.

"AUGH!" Karin broke and released—the ship just splashed the edge of the falls and took flight over this new region of Paradox Space.

"Siiiigh… we made it." Cheren held his chest.

MaKayla lied down for a moment of relax. ". . . ! What… is… THAAAAT?!"

Towering over them was a ghastly green clock tower. Its godly size almost made them miss the fact it was covering an entire planet. "That tower…" MaKayla was shuddering from sheer intimidation. "This chi… it's his… there's no doubt about it!"

"That planet it's inside… That's Froast!" Feferi realized. "Kanaya was sayin' that she couldn't get it on her computer! Lord English musta done something to it!"

 ** _"DAMN RIGHT, you brats! GAZE at my Clock Tower of AWESOMENESS!"_**

"No…No way!" MaKayla felt her very chi vibrating in fear. "It's him! LORD ENGLISH!"

A massive astral projection of the Lord of Time appeared before the clock. **_"You Kids Next Door have REALLY pissed me off! Beating up my minions like they were nothing! I knew they were gonna get beaten a long time ago, but they were STILL my loyal followers, dammit! They shared my vision! They were helping make it real! And I'll erase ANYONE who hurts them without my command!"_**

"Can't really hate him for that…" Nerehc commented.

"Grrr… LORD ENGLISH!" Cheren called. "Why do you want to destroy the universes?! Don't you realize how many people you're hurting?!"

 ** _"Who the fuck even cares?! Gods create worlds all the time! They make people, they make laws, they make stories! They never care who they're helping or who they're hurting! I wanted to create worlds, too, but my annoying sister kept getting in my way! And thanks to her, I lost more years than I can count. Years that I COULD'VE spent making MORE worlds! I'll show her. I'll show ALL the phony gods that MY vision is SUPERIOR! You worthless creations have YET to see my full power!"_**

While they were watching the illusion, no one would ever notice Xehanort's henchman, Braig on the top of the tower. "You said it, Greeny!" With a careful, yet precise aim of his Sharpshooter, Braig fired a single spear at blinding speed.

"! ! KIMAYA!" Aisa sensed the projectile, running to kick the girl out of the way. "AHH! !" The spear pierced her leg.

"Heh." Braig snickered. The spear bounced off the deck, redirected itself, and pierced Kimaya's head. Everyone's mouths were agape as the Sixth Light fell on her back. Oathkeeper and Oblivion disappeared.

"Kim…Kimaya…" Aurora stuttered.

 ** _"BROO HA HA HA HA!"_** English laughed with pure glee. **_"FINALLY! One of her stupid vessels is DEAD! I think now I'll tear up that useless ship!"_**

With a single thought, the front half of the _Noah_ ripped apart from the back half. Now fueling with anger, Cheren's golden flames burned hotter than ever. _"ENGLIIIIIIIIISH!"_ He flew toward the demon like a comet, but Lord English's form dispersed.

"CHEREN!" Nerehc flew after his Positive with equal speed. "WAIT! Whaddo you plan to do?!"

"Whatever I can to make him LEAVE US ALONE!" He saw a doorway below the planet-size clock and flew straight into it. Nerehc followed him, and it seemed they had entered a whole new realm. (Play "Road to Bowser" from _Mario Galaxy 2_!)

 _Stage F-13: Lord English in the Clock Tower_

 _Mission: Destroy the clock tower!_

The inside of the clock tower was an entire dimension where colossal emerald flames burned in hallways of grandfather clocks. These hallways and flames were so far away, it was impossible to determine their exact size. Cheren and Nerehc were forced to land on a green platform and go across a wide chessboard field. Giant green chess pieces would pop out of random tiles and send them back to start. Cheren told Fi to fly underneath and determine a safe path. She told Cheren which tiles had no traps underneath, allowing them to travel safely across.

The carpeted path led down at a 90-degree angle, but the gravity shifted so they could walk. A Pac-Chomp was munching up the center of the carpet like Pac-Man, leaving only room on the sides for Cheren and Nerehc to balance across. Cue Chomps (designed like 8-balls and tailed by green flames) were flying around the air, spitting fireballs. The twins needed a few sword strikes to KO them, but stayed balanced on the carpet. The carpet became whole again, but more Pac-Chomps either ate through in 'X' shapes or came from directly below, the duo carefully jumping the gaps.

A giant Pac-Chomp was now munching the whole carpet. Cheren noticed a dangling pocket watch above it, so he grabbed Nerehc and used the Hookshot to pull them to it. The watch immediately whooshed like a roller coaster over the realm, flinging the kids between two rows of emerald torches before they crashed on a new carpet. Three Level 3 Akuma ambushed them, equipped with back cannons that bore the Shinra Electric Company logo. Cheren bounced the cannon blasts back with Mirror Shield and Nerehc slashed airwaves in attempt to rupture their armor.

"I can't seem to hurt these robots!"

One of the cannonballs Cheren bounced back punctured its head. "Looks like they can hurt themselves." He repeated the maneuver with the other two Akuma. Past the battlefield, a sea of floating candles lay in their wake. Some candles would ignite upon the notes of the music's vocals, but Cheren could shoot an Ice Arrow across a straight path of candles, freezing and preventing them from igniting. He and Nerehc hopped across these frozen candles, but they stopped before a rotating tunnel of candles. Cheren shot an Ice Arrow across a path, but they only had a short time to cross it before that path would rotate up, forcing them to continue along unfrozen candles. Cheren continued freezing diagonal paths to make them more long-lasting, until they finally made it to a safe foothold.

Beyond here, it seemed that a titanic stone wall blocked their way. This wall rumbled and rose up. The duo looked up and gasped at the humongous face: the massive square stone was a Thwomp, 50 feet tall at least. It shook the ground furiously when it came down. When it went up, the duo rushed onto the field it was protecting, seeing several holes in which they could hide. They seized the chance with each hole they saw, eventually crossing the field.

A carpet path led directly upwards, making several loops that – while it didn't bother them – would definitely confuse the player since the controls didn't change with the new angle. The only enemies in their way were Neo Shadow Heartless. The path led them to the head of the giant Thwomp, and once it felt them step on, the Thwomp rose much higher than it did before. Its speed increased, forcing the duo to think fast in dodging the giant incoming blocks, which would break against the Thwomp.

The creature stopped level with a new path, the twins quickly hopping off before the Thwomp returned to the bottom in its crushing fury. In the distance was a smaller clock tower with a throne above it, but the path leading to was composed of giant pool tables. All they had to go by was a giant 8-ball. Cheren kicked it forward, and the number reduced to '7'. "Crap, this is gonna be that puzzle from _Sonic '06_ , isn't it?" Nerehc asked in annoyance.

Indeed it was that puzzle, except this time there was no glitch to cheat it. They had to bounce the ball around a slight maze of energy barriers and get it into the hole before its counter ran out. They were successful, so they could get on the ball as it was sprung up onto the next table, the counter refilled. This time, Pac-Chomps were eating across set paths, which would steadily respawn behind them, but they made endless loops. If the Chomps hit the ball, it would minus one from the counter. Guiding it across the table was too tricky to write about.

But they succeeded, and were sprung to the third and final table. Now, they had to hit all the different billiard balls into holes like a natural game. Only the 8-ball could move them, however, and again they had 8 chances. Even when the other balls were dealt with, they had to spare the last hit for the 8-ball to go into its designated hole. They stepped on it to be sprung to the path before the throne. The carpeted path angled up like stairs, leading to the top of the clock tower. There His Lordship sat. (End song.)

 **"And just when I was enjoying myself, two useless rejects barged into my private tower! You better be here to swear your undying allegiance to me!"**

"Swear allegiance to my sword, you damn Hulk wannabe!" Nerehc retorted, blade drawn.

 **"Hm hm… ha ha! BROO HA HA HAAAA!"** Lord English couldn't contain his laughter. **"That sword looks like someone's shitty drawing! You know what happens to shitty drawings? They get ERASED. But I'm gonna let you keep it, just to live with the PAIN and AGONY of a shitty drawing pencil! BROO HA HA!"**

"I haven't known you for FIVE MINUTES and I'm sick of your voice!" yelled a voice that was neither Cheren's or Nerehc's. The two turned with a start as Karkat Vantas approached.

 **"Errr? Oh, one of the gray people. Pah. They're even dumber than his sword."**

"I can't BELIEVE YOU TWO decided to confront this guy without a PLAN!"

"Blame Cheren for being a cocky bastard!" Nerehc argued.

"Ugh… I know I wasn't thinking right, but I…I couldn't take it, anymore! He killed my parents… and my friends. Every bad thing that's happened has been because of him!"

"Eh…" Karkat pinched his nasal bridge. "Yeah… but don't forget, Cherry Stew." He stepped forward calmly. "This piece of shit destroyed _my_ world first." He whipped out large twin sickles designed like crab claws. "AND I NEVER GOT PAYBACK!" He lunged forward and STABBED Lord English in the head.

His Logia body was nowhere near affected. Lord English Rewinded Karkat. "-PAYBACK!" Karkat lunged again and stabbed. Rewind. "-PAYBACK!" Stab. Rewind. "-PAYBACK!" Stab. Rewind. "-PAY-"

"STOP!" Cheren grabbed him. "He's making a fool out of you!"

 **"Hey, this would make a neat story!"** English scratched his skull. **"Three hopeless idiots team up to try and defeat the great Lord English! But His Lordship, so kind to his subjects, makes a bargain!"** He stood up. **"That he'll only fight with his weapon."**

"You asked for it!" Cheren agreed. "Come on, hopeless idiots! Wait, why did I just call us that?"

"I dunno… but I wanna kick his ass even more now!" Nerehc followed.

"Then quit acting hopeless and KICK HIS ASS!" cried Karkat. (Play "King Bowser" from _Super Mario Galaxy_!)

 _Boss fight: Lord English_

Lord English ripped off his golden peg-leg and willed it to become a giant axe. Cheren and Nerehc clashed blades against the weapon, and Lord English used only minimal strength in combatting them. With a stronger thrust of the axe, the boys flew back. Karkat zipped up and grabbed the axe's handles in his sickles, desperately trying to yank it out. Lord English did nothing and watched Karkat hopelessly fail, and then let go of the axe to make Karkat stumble back and fall under it. Karkat struggled to pick up the axe, and when Cheren and Nerehc applied their own strength to help, His Lordship willed the axe to weigh 100 times more, grounding them.

 **"Then when the stupid idiots couldn't even take his axe, they try to attack him in lightspeed!"**

"Come on, let's use lightspeed to attack!" Cheren announced.

"That's physically impossible for MEEEE!" Karkat began moving at lightspeed alongside his comrades. Lord English turned his axe into a whip, thin as string, but strong enough to repel the speedy boys. He saw every direction, every route they would take, every maneuver they would make, and positioned his whip in the exact spots to block them, every one-four-thousandth of a second. Finally, for a split fraction of a second, he stopped whipping—then he froze time, jumped, unfroze time to let them be in one center, and in that split second he CRUSHED them.

 **"But it turned out lightspeed was a bust. All they could do was pathetically dodge my ball-and-chain!"**

Lord English morphed his whip into a spiked ball-and-chain, complete with emerald flames. He whooshed it around and around the field, making trails of flames, the kids could do naught but dodge. "Ugh, what am I doing?!" Cheren jumped and grabbed the chain, Lord English looking up in confusion. Nerehc and Karkat avoided the flames and ran to stab English's knee, doing no damage, but catching his attention. Cheren used Rocket Boost to thrust partly out with the ball, causing it to fly into English's face. **"DWAAA!"**

The dizzied Time Lord dropped his weapon, his Octogan eyes spiraling dizzily as he wobbled around the field. Cheren performed a spin attack to send him spinning toward Nerehc, who stabbed him with the Deity Sword. English then wobbled frantically in Karkat's direction, leaving the troll to STAB his sickles in the Octogan eyes. (End song.)

 **"BROOOEEEEH!"** Red blood came spewing out.

"WOOT! WE DID IT, DUMMIES!" Cheren cheered. "Let's hit ourselves in the heads and fall like dead puppets!" They did indeed bash their selves, and down they went. "Wait… WHY DID WE JUST DO THAT?!"

 **"BROOEEEH HEH HEH HEEEH!"** Lord English laughed so hard, he cried. **"It's so FUNNY when you think you won! The only chance you'll have at winning is when I say you'll win. But it's time for your winning streak to end. So long, garbage specks!"**

"You sure you wanna do that, Handsome?" a girl asked.

 **"Huh? Did someone say 'Handsome'?"**

"Great… Who's here now?" Cheren turned. "Wha-? Nagisa?!"

Nagisa Shiota stepped onto the clock tower. His pretty blue hair hung down, his cute blue eyes adding life to his pretty small face, and a gorgeous winter coat kept his body snug and warm. **"WOOOOOOH!"** Lord English's flashing eyes turned to flashing hearts, and the blush marks on his skull grew. **"That girl is hubba-hubba PRETTY! Oh-h-h that coat… SEXY! YOU! Gold boy! Do something seductive with her!"**

"What?!" Cheren flushed. "B-But he-!"

 **"SHE! ! What male in their right mind would look like that?! That is a girl, so she is entitled to a seductive move!"**

"Well? DON'T I?" Nagisa glared at Cheren scoldingly.

"Are we… really doing this? Uhh, okay…" He uncomfortably reached and touched where Nagisa's left breast would be located. "Wow, you really went the extra mile."

 **"NOT SEDUCTIVE ENOUGH! ! I want you to take that girl's hand and say, 'You're pretty'!"**

"Um… 'kay?" Cheren lightly held Nagisa's mittened fingers. "You're pretty."

 **"OHHHH!"** Steam burst out of English's skull nose. **"BY THE FINGERS, why didn't I think of that?! This scene is so HOT! OOOOO, I can feel the urge they have to softly hug each other!"**

They softly hugged each other. **"OWAAAAAAAHHHHH! IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!"** Lord English frantically hopped and skipped around the field. **"THE HOTTEST SCENE IN ALL MILLENNIA IS UPON US! People will look at this scene, and MELT before the extreme hotness! OH, I CAN'T TAKE IT! GRAAAAAHHH!"**

"The clock tower's shaking!" Nerehc exclaimed. "We have to escape!"

"It's too late!" cried Cheren. The hallway that composed the distant background was collapsing, the clock tower upon which they stood spun out of control and fell apart. Spatial cracks ripped open and tore up the fabric of the dimension. The cracks grew so wide that they swallowed the realm in light.


	19. Zachary's Wackory Factory

**I'm excited for these next stages coming up!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-19: Zachary's Wackory Factory_**

 **Neutral Garden**

Cheren was passed out on a grass ground within a tight enclosing of stone walls. A salamander found his body and licked his cheek. Cheren didn't wake up. …The salamander reached into his jacket pocket. "Nnnh- whuh?" Cheren awoke. "HEY, GET!" Cheren smacked the creature off.

"Hey! No hitting!" the salamander said. "This is the Neutral Garden!"

Cheren cocked a brow. "Neutral Garden?"

"Yah. Everyone here is nice to each other. Lots of people come so they don't have to fight. Even monsters." (Play "Shooting Star Summit" from _Paper Mario_!)

Cheren walked out of the enclosing. He gazed in awe at a beautiful, glistening pond, surrounded by tall cliffs, lush plants, and crystal pillars. Angels were seated on small, high ledges, Blue Pearls had their feet in the water, and a Hollow and a Grimm were drinking from it. A starry night sky made up the heavens, but the garden was bright as though it were day. "A Neutral Garden where nobody fights… It's beautiful."

"Yeah. We like it, too. …" The salamander tried to reach in his pocket again.

"Back off!" Cheren kicked him—the salamander skittered up the cliff.

Fi leapt out of his sword. _"Master Cheren, I am unable to determine under what circumstances have allowed us to arrive in this location. Regardless, I believe we are fortunate to have been spared of Lord English's wrath, considering you had a probable -5% chance at victory."_

"-5, that's higher than I expected." Cheren said sarcastically. "Do you know where Nerehc and Karkat landed?"

 _"There is an 87% chance they are in the vicinity. However, I detect no traces of Nagisa, despite his surprising… appearance."_

"Heh heh… Yeah, it caught me off guard, too. Where did he come up with that crazy plan? Hmmm… I guess we better look around."

 _Stage F-14: Neutral Garden_

 _Mission: Find your friends._

Cheren dove into the pond and spared glimpses at the people chatting amongst their selves. The only way out of this area was blocked by the Hollow and Grimm drinking water, but he didn't feel it was right to kill them. Cheren dove underwater for a solution, and he found a large stone that seemed to stand out from the smaller ones on the waterbed. Cheren Torpedo Spun and destroyed the stone, exposing a jetstream that shot diagonally up. Cheren used it to propel himself up and over the two monsters.

Cheren followed a path out of the trench, and it would lead over an endless abyss. It seemed like this entire garden was suspended in space. Across the path was another pond where spires of water spewed up at different heights, and a waterfall came down from the opposite cliff. Cheren froze them all with Ice Arrows, thinking he could use them as platforms, but they were too spread-apart for jumping. "Hmm, what else do I have… Oh, my Wolf Mask!" He put on said mask and became a wolf, making great leaps up each frozen pillar. He made it up to a ledge on the right side of the waterfall.

From a player's perspective, the camera would be positioned far away so as to catch the whole waterfall. They would see Cheren's shadow sidle along a small ledge. The shadows of Snapdragons would be seen attacking him, but these simple enemies were nothing to him. Past the waterfall, Cheren ventured up a hill within a small trench, arriving at a wide river where more peoples and friendly enemies were socializing. Cheren decided to go for another swim—there were Mega Sharpedos underwater! …But it seemed like these drugged Pokémon were as mellow as everything else here.

Cheren swam to a small island in the middle of the river, where an Amethyst was fishing beside a Team Rocket Agent. Cheren climbed on shore, bypassed a few shrubs and trees, and found a familiar troll passed out on the island's center. "Karkat!" Cheren bent over and shook him. "Karkat, wake up!"

"YAP!" He startled awake. "GAMZEE, QUIT SHOOSH-PAP…ing… me?"

"Heh heh! Did I ruin your dream?"

"Cheren? Where did we end up?"

"They call it the Neutral Garden. There's a bunch of friendly monsters here."

"Oh… crap…"

"What?"

"Ugh… I don't like this place. Everybody acts like pussies."

"Sounds like it would do you some favors."

"Yeah, yeah, just go god and fly us off this rock."

"We need to see if Nerehc landed somewhere."

"Damn. Fine, then fly me back to the _Noah_."

"I don't know where the _Noah_ is from here."

"Then FLY ME SOMEWHERE!"

"I don't wanna fly!" Cheren giggled. "I wanna go ol' natur-al for a bit!"

"NNNGH! You piss me off sometimes, Uno."

"Yeah, I'm a real Jar Jar Blinks. Come on, Karkitty."

There was a waterfall at the opposite end of the river, wider than the one on the other end. The large water spires were too far for even the wolf to jump to. "NOW you wanna fly?!" Karkat inquired.

"Nope! LINK never needed to fly! …Except when he lived in Skypia." They swam back to the other end of the river, which was above the waterfall Cheren sidled behind earlier. There was a Catch Card floating below the edge, but since that edge was shallow enough to stand on, Cheren could throw his Bananarang to catch the card.

"A banana BOOMERANG?!" exclaimed Lazlo, the banana-mouthed monkey inside the card. "All I got for Christmas was a dumb _cherry_ boomerang."

"Let's discuss a trade later!" Cheren put him in his pocket. He and Karkat searched around the river for a means of getting across the platforms. "Wait, maybe we can ride one of these Sharpedos."

"I hope they're more reliable than you." Karkat remarked. The two grabbed the top fin of a Sharpedo, and it seemed the Pokémon was happy to help them. They directed the Sharpedo to swim surface level so they could breathe. Using the shark's quick speed, they drove off the edge of the falls, landed on the first platform, jumped to the second, then jumped to the next river. The Sharpedo swerved along a narrow, snaky river suspended in the air, then it had to jump over a series of rising water spouts.

The Sharpedo came to a stop at a shore. Cheren and Karkat disembarked, overlooking another pool that was bubbling in several spots. "Hey… there's a bunch of Rubies underwater."

"Yeah, your Ruby friend CAME from this dimension. These are probably her cousins."

"Yeah, and it seems like they're overheating this pool. Better freeze a track." Cheren used Ice Arrows to freeze platforms on the pool, but the Rubies' heat would melt them quickly. The next level of this pool was above a short waterfall ledge, likely unclimbable in these conditions, so Cheren froze a path to a ledge on the left. They climbed steps to get above the second level, which seemed to have no Rubies heating the water. However, the river was flowing quicker, so the ice platforms would fall over into the heated pool. Cheren froze several ice platforms making a path to an up-right exit, he and Karkat quickly jumping across. The path brought them to an area of shallow water with a forest of fountains. Black and white Carapacians were dancing around the fountains. "Ha ha! This is pretty fun!" Cheren ditched his shoes and socks and began to dance with them. "Karkat, come join us!"

"GRRR! WHY ARE YOU **ACTING** SO HAPPY?! We got our asses kicked by LORD ENGLISH! He could've exterminated the others in the time we spent in that clock tower! You should be ANGRY! AFRAID! !"

"Wow. I can't believe I use to be like you." Cheren said with a reproving frown.

Karkat was almost stunned by the remark. "…He really HAS lost it, hasn't he. …Cheren, let's go up there." He pointed to a short cliff across the fountains. There were stairs leading up there from the far left, and there they saw people socializing at café tables.

"I know these guys that've been hunting a Pikachu for 15 years." A Rocket Agent said to a Bokoblin. "Can you believe that? The SAME Pikachu, for FIFTEEN years!"

 _"Why did the Earl have to make us so ugly?"_ an Akuma said to a Heartless Soldier. _"Was he mocked for his large mouth when he was younger? If that DIO guy built us, we would look much cooler…"_

"There's so many of our enemies here…" Cheren said in amazement.

"No one's your enemy in this place." Karkat replied.

"Look, there's a table! Let's have a drink and enjoy the view."

With an annoyed moan, Karkat joined Cheren at a table beside a cliff. They had view of a distant part of the island. A salamander walked over with two cups of Starfee – coffee with a big bright star glimmering on its surface. One sip had Cheren awash in dreams. "Mmmmmm…"

"I know why you're so happy." Karkat said, merely staring at his cup. "It's your God Tier. You're slowly detaching yourself from mortal concerns. Knowing you can't die… Knowing your friends will one day be spirits, and you'll always be able to visit them… why would you care?"

"That's not true. I _am_ worried. I just… don't want fear to get to me. Not anymore…"

"Hello, Cheren." A squeaky voice spoke.

"Hm?" Cheren turned. He didn't see who had talked to him. He looked down- "Oh?" An orange Miniblin was facing him.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked. Cheren nodded. The Miniblin took the open seat and drank some coffee. "A-a-a-a-a-ah…" His sigh vibrated. "I bet you don't remember me. I fought you back at Jungle of the Apes. You killed me."

"Oh…" That was a while ago, Cheren thought. "I did?"

"Yes. I know you don't remember. You can't keep track of every Miniblin you kill. But that's okay. I encountered Link a few times. Once in Ganon's fortress… once in Ganon's Tower… another time in the Rupee Mines… one cut was all it took to kill me. It isn't easy being a lowly foot soldier. We're barely acknowledged. We're only paid to do one thing: and that's hunt you down and try to kill you. But every time we find you, we know we're gonna lose." Another sip. "You think Mario remembers every Goomba he stomps? You think The Thirteen remember every person they trap in a card? Got you this, by the way." He handed Cheren a Catch Card.

"Cheren!" Crystal Wickens beamed.

"Ms. Wickens!" Cheren returned the smile. "You're… giving this to me?" he asked the Miniblin.

"Yeah. Ganon would be mad if he found out. But he probably won't tell me apart from my brethren. It doesn't matter. I'm a minion. For life. Whether I'm serving Ganon, Malladus, or Majora… I'm bound to meet the end of Link's sword."

He took one more sip. "Cheren… thanks for listening. I feel better now. When we meet again, I'll likely come to attack you. But I'll be glad it's _your_ sword that does me in."

"Heh heh! It's a promise!"

"Am I… missing something?" Crystal asked, confused by the interaction.

Fi leapt out of Cheren's sword. _"Master, I can feel Nerehc's presence nearby. He is on that island over there."_ She indicated the distant area they had been overlooking.

Cheren sipped the rest of his coffee. "Ahhh, sounds great to me!" He whipped out his Pirate Sail. "Karkat, grab on!"

"Uh… Oh, fine. (Someone needs to make sure you don't get killed.)" Karkat hugged his waist as Cheren jumped off, flapped open the sail, and glided over the abyss. They landed on the shore of the island, Cheren going around some mounts – he noticed Karkat wasn't following. "Karkat?"

"I need to finish my coffee." He was faced away, nervously sipping his cup.

"Hehe! Good stuff, isn't it? Fine, I'll go first."

Cheren proceeded around the mounts. "Whooooaaa!" His eyes glimmered at the sight of the shimmering mountain of treasure. Gold coins, colored gems, and a king's crown with a white… thing on it. "Hey! It's Nerehc! NEREEEHC!" he called for his friend as he ran to climb on the treasure.

 _"WELL, well, well!"_ Cheren fell off the mountain when it began to shake. Three crabby legs emerged on either side, followed by two giant claws of red and blue texture. The crustacean's head rose from the soil, grinning at Cheren with big rotten teeth. _"What have we here? It seems a little meal has wandered to my lair! What's this little red thing with chestnut hair?"_

The crab tried to clip Cheren's head, but he dodged and whacked its claw with his sword. _"Well, Tamatoa's gonna make a hefty meal out of you!_ _Keep fighting! I like me some spicy fooood!"_

Cheren quickly clashed against his claws, leaping on Tamatoa's shell to try and save Nerehc, but the crab shook him off. _"And do ya like to take a look at yourself_ , _In that pretty little mirror of yours?"_

Cheren briefly viewed his Mirror Shield, then used it to block a claw stab. _"Well, I wouldn't mind having that on my shelf!_ _I'll take it once I give ya SORES!_ _You see, I'm_ _SHINY!"_ His treasure brimmed like a sun. _"Like a treasure on the bottom of the sea! Is that me? *looks in Mirror Shield* I can't tell because I'm SHINY!"_

Cheren shut his eyes from the light, allowing Tamatoa to Ground Pound him. _"I'm so rich, I could afford a seventh knee!_ _So pret-ty!"_

The treasure became a beacon to the sky. Dozens of salamanders crawled quickly to his location. _"Lizards are DUMB DUMB DUMB! They chase anything that GLIMMERS!_ _Pfft. Beginners."_ He dropped treasure for the salamanders to pick up. _"And here they COME COME COME_ , _To the brightest thing that GLITTERS!"_

He grabbed them in his claw and swallowed them whole. _"Mmm, free dinner!"_ Cheren leapt for a jump attack, but Tamatoa smacked him away. _"I feel so MEEEERRY!"_ Tamatoa picked Cheren up and brought him to his mouth. _"And you look like a CHEEERRY!"_

"FREEZE!" Tamatoa looked a few feet away. Karkat presented himself. Tamatoa dropped Cheren and crawled toward him.

 _"SO, little Karkitty's decided to come back. Time for Daddy to give you a smack."_ Karkat used the Sicklekind to clash with his claws. _"Using those claws that you stole from my bod? Too bad you couldn't take enough for a ROD!"_

Cheren watched the scuffle with a raised brow, curious about their history. _"So, did ya find the old folks who abandoned you?_ _Or did ya cry and go and give up hope?_ _Couldn't help but find your way back to moi? What'd you expect, dope! I'm too_ _SHINY! I shine brighter than a Diamond on Emera. Look, this one's from Pink Diamond! *hold up pink shard* And it's SHINY! I can make a brighter day than Hemera. Or learn to play Hammond."_

Karkat's sickles were smacked away, allowing Tamatoa to smash him thrice. _"You can TRY TRY TRY_ , _But you can't expect a Cancer… to beat a sexy dancer! (Ladies, you know you want some.) You will DIE DIE DIE,"_ he squeezed Karkat thrice in his claw, _"Now to watch you erode…_ _As your HEAD EXPLODES! I'm afraid you're much too TIIIINY! You'll never be as SHIIIIINYYYYYY!_

"OW! !" His middle left leg was sliced clean off by an awakened Nerehc.

"I was trying to sleep…"

"Now there's TWO of you?! Agh, my leg, what the hell, man?! Oh well, I can just afford another one. Look at my shell, man! I'm so SHINY-!"

"WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER VERSE!" Karkat screamed.

"You don't like my song?" Tama frowned.

"Karkat, who is this guy? Why does he seem to know you?" Cheren questioned.

"Sigh… Tamatoa is my Lusus; a kind of guardian creature for young trolls. I was dropped on this island as a pupa and he raised me. He's a real ASSHOLE."

"Now, don't talk to me like that, Karkat. You're quite lucky to grow up with a filthy rich dad. I bet you told these fine boys about me and they came running for some dough."

"NO, actually. We landed here after a deranged Time God kicked our asses. But now that we're back together, we should get going."

"You don't really think you're leaving without returning my Sicklekind, are you? You never earned them properly. And you can't awaken their full potential without my pass."

"Just take them back and screw off." Karkat brushed the air. "Those things are useless against Lord English, anyway. Cheren, are we going back to the _Noah_ or what?"

"I… guess we should." Cheren went God Tier and picked Karkat up. He and Nerehc were ready to fly off.

"Before you go, please take this card." Tamatoa held a card in his left claw. "This guy's making me crabby."

"NO-HO-HOOOO!" Mr. Krabs was crying. "PLEEEAASE! I'll die if I'm not part of yer treasure! Just let me keep a coin! No, two! PLEASE LET ME STAY!"

Nerehc snatched the card, crumpled it up, and stuffed in his pocket. "I'm sick of crabs."

"At least he's shiny." Cheren said before taking off.

Flying skyward, they seemed to be quickly closing in on the starry sky. Before they knew it, they passed the very stars themselves, rising out of the Galactic Sea. "So, that's what it looks like under the sea. Pretty!"

"There's a planet up there." Nerehc pointed. "It look familiar?"

Karkat sniffed. "EEEEYUCK!" He closed his nose. "It smells like…like… rotting frogs?" His mind flashed back to one of Terezi's prophecies. "It's Froast! The planet that was inside the clock tower!"

"So, the clock tower's gone?" Cheren deduced. "That means the others should be near." He switched on his communicator, "This is Numbuh 3621 calling any operative, please respond."

 _"This is Numbuh High Noon, we read you."_ MaKayla responded. _"My sector is in Hivebent. Most of the operatives already left."_

"I'm tracking your location. Be there soon."

They flew for 10 minutes around the planet until they located the purple 2-D base. The hangar opened to welcome the three leaders. "Karkittyyyy!" Nepeta pounced her leader and nudged his cheek. "I really r33lly missed you! How could you leave us alone with that scurry monster?" :33

"You're in good shape, it seems." George King said. "I dunno what you did in that clock tower, but I guess we owe you one."

"Why?" Cheren replied, a brow raised.

"Perhaps we better show you." MaKayla said, leading them off.

They were led to Nepeta's room. "YAH! !" yelped the three boys at the sights.

Wendy Marvell was holding Carla, who now had the form of a small bloodhound. Melody Jackson was green and growing shrubs on her head, panicking at her own appearance. Morgiana and Goombella seemed to be comforting Nagisa, crying on the floor and holding his crotch. "What's… going on here?" asked Cheren.

"Lord English showed up on the _Noah_ and decided to… Rewrite some of us." Kayla answered.

"He turned my mom into a dog." Wendy said. "He thought she would… 'look more attractive that way.'"

"He said that I should inject myself with chlorophyll and sprout my own vermin." Melody followed. "Then… this."

"He, um… He mistook Nagisa for a girl." Goombella explained hesitantly. "And in one second, he was…" Nagisa began sobbing.

"Nagisa, why were you in the clock tower just then?" Cheren asked.

"W-What? I wasn't in the (sniff) clock tower."

"Yes you were! I was fighting English, and you showed up, and we… hugged…"

"And you touched his boob." Nerehc snickered.

"You did WHAT, Cheren?!" Haruka fumed. Nagisa flinched and covered her chest. I mean, his?

"H-He put me up to—OH, never mind! I'm beyond confused! Where is Lord English now?"

"The clock tower suddenly vanished and then he left." Kayla said. "Hordes of enemies started to surround us. Most of Sectors V, JP, W7, and KB flew off to combat them. Haruka was tending to Sheila and Aeincha, and I've been trying to fix these guys. We're not seeing good results."

"Well… the bright side is you're still OK. You're lucky to encounter Lord English and survive."

"There's something else I think we should mention, too." Haruka said. "That is… in most circumstances, I would. …But the person in question is Zach."

They went to Vriska's room, where the latter and Maddy were staring at Zach. The boy was still as a statue, eyes blank. Maddy felt the group behind them and said, "Zach's been like this ever since we crossed the ring. I never know what's going on in his mind, so… I'm not sure how to feel."

"I was afraid to do this, but I'll check him out." Haruka approached and checked Zach's forehead for a fever. She opened his mouth and put a thermometer under his tongue.

 _Beam. Beam. Beam._ A red light beeped under Zach's shirt, in the navel area. A curious Haruka lifted his shirt a tad and looked closer. Maddy bent beside her.

 _Hallelujah!_ Zach's bellybutton was a glass window, and someone was standing inside. _"Attention all staff! This is an emergency request announcement!"_

"Mako!" Maddy yelled.

"Who?" Vriska looked in the navel with her seven pupils.

"Numbuh No Star?" Cheren said. "I didn't know she came with us."

 _"Due to an unforeseen hacky sack outbreak, we must result to summoning the Competent Casers! Initiating Shrink Zone!"_

A blue bubble expanded around Zach. The others jumped back while Maddy and Haruka were caught in it. The two glowed and shrunk down to ant size. _"WHAT THE HECK?!"_ Maddy squeaked.

 _"I knew I didn't wanna touch his body…"_ Haruka moaned.

 _"Please meet me at the Foot Floor."_ Mako announced as a door seemed to open on Zach's shoe.

"Are we… really doing this?" Haruka was still appalled.

"Haruka, Zach is one of our most important operatives." Cheren said. "If he's ill, you have to use your medical knowledge to fix him. And Maddy, as his sister, you have to help."

"Why did I have to be involved with Zach's shtick?" With very regretful faces, the girls limped toward the shoe and entered.

"Welcome, Maddy and Haruka!" Mako greeted with a vibrant smile. Zach's girlfriend wore a grayish-blue business outfit with glasses. "This is your first time visiting Zachary's Wackory Factory!"

It was just as she said: the inside of Zach's body was a factory. It was run by mini Zacharies in kiwi hats, but the Foot Floor was primarily stacking boxes. The Mini-Zachs were scattering as a result of Hackies, bouncing hacky sacks with goofy faces that were latching onto machines and making them malfunction. "So… this is real." Maddy said in a factual sentence.

"As real as the imagination!" Mako spoke knowledgeably. "Zach let me into this factory two years ago!" A thought bubble materialized to show the tale.

 _"It was our anniversary… so we visited the candy store and ordered a Fruit Roll-Up Spaghetti." Mako's thought bubble depicted the spaghetti scene from_ Lady and the Tramp _. "We were slurping the same spaghetti strand… and then…" Their lips were about to come in contact via the strand. Then Mako was completely sucked down his throat._

"His mouth is bigger than Mocha's! !" Maddy and Haru chorused.

 _"Waaaaaah!" Mako descended down a long shaft and plopped on a hard floor. Everywhere she looked were Mini-Zacharies constructing teddybears wielding paperclip swords, spiders that waged money in cockfights, and some were carting chunks of Fruit Roll-Up to the Waste Well. Curiosity clear in her eyes, Mako stepped toward a round window, peering out from Zach's navel._

 _"Hi, Mako!" The navel moved like a mouth. "Welcome to my factory! Please, do not enter the Waste Well without special gear!"_

"From then on, I was appointed as Factory Caretaker!" Mako continued. The thought bubble displayed her, "I cleaned out the Earway Canals to promote more trade from foreign comedies." She organized the Mini-Zachs in cleaning earwax as Dr. Seuss boats and toddler rockets sailed through. "I sorted out only the most healthy materials." Mako directed walking words like 'nutrients' and 'potassium' to the Brain Dome, and told 'GMO's to go to the Waste Well. "And a job that only I could do: pump his heart and keep the factory flowing!" She was turning a cog with her hands and pumping a pump with her feet. Outside, Zach smiled and held his chest.

"You have to admit that's super cute." Haruka said.

"I know, but this adds so much logic to Zach's being." Maddy reasoned. "This just PROVES he's an alien robot that's constantly maintained and controlled by a race of wacky inventors that use shrinking and growing tech to welcome visitors and release their crazy products!"

"That fact is NOT dismissible!" Mako proclaimed. "But Zach actually traded his internal organs for a prank factory."

"I won't think about how that benefitted the other side." Haru said.

"We'll have time to think later!" Mako turned serious. "We have a serious problem! It seems that when Baldy Bald was doing that football field attack, a crayonorious earwig infiltrated his system and barfed a Hacky infestation!" The thought bubble depicted a smiling crayon caterpillar crawling in Zach's ear. "I exhausted every means, but it seems only two things can sew the seams of my factory: actual medical know-how and sisterly love! With your skills combined, we can make a powerful medicine that can restore Zach to perfection!"

"Well, if Zach's in legitimate danger, I can't say 'no.'" Maddy said.

"Me neither." Haruka nodded. "But I'm adding this to the record book as the weirdest operation in history."

"We're counting on you, girls!" Mako smiled vigorously. "Let's bring sense back to this nonsense!" (Play "Factory Inspection (Pyramid Area)" from _Kirby: Planet Robobot_!)

 _Stage F-15: Zachary's Wackory Factory_

 _Mission: Sack the Hackies!_

Maddy and Haruka ran around the Foot Floor and beat the stuffing out of every Hacky they could find. They either exploded under Maddy's Haki punches or dissolved in Haruka's gas. Once they wrapped up, they were about to ride the elevator to the next floor. "Sorry, this elevator is for factory personnel only!" Mako stated, having apparently warped into said lift. "Besides, there's repairs that need fixing in the Knee Shaft. I'm sure you'll find a way up." The door closed.

It looked like the only way up Zach's leg was by climbing the boxes. Maddy used Haki to push a stack of two large boxes between a single box and a three-stack. With this, they could jump up the three stacks, getting level with a bar of moving hooks (they looked like canes to yank someone off a stage). They could let go to land on the base of a box tower, but they allowed the canes to keep carrying them, the bar going up diagonally to drop them on a higher platform. Pogo Shy Guys were bouncing around tiny platforms, leading to a Catch Card. When a Pogo Guy bounced near them, Maddy stole the pogostick and bounced over the platforms herself, using Observation Haki to see precise landings.

She got to the Catch Card, discovering it contained Ed from _Ed, Edd, 'N' Eddy_. "Boy, this factory sure makes me feel smart! A-hu, a-hu."

"Yeah." Maddy put him away. She noticed another bar of hooks leading to the top of the box tower, a shortcut to bypass an otherwise tedious platforming segment. "Haruka, can you make it?"

"I'll try." Haruka leapt off and used a Fart Rocket to get over the pogoes. "Do NOT tell my friends I did that."

"Deal." With that, they rode the hooks over to the box tower, having only to jump up a few crates before getting level with a box lift. They jumped on one of the lift's footholds as it carried them up the Knee Shaft, which was surprisingly wide and mostly hollow. The lift was about to flip and go back down, so they jumped to grab a chain. They climbed beside another chain, and were forced to jump to it when a string of Sparkies traveled down the previous. The Sparkies bypassed as another string was coming down this current chain, so the girls had to alternate between them. More Sparkies came down with only brief moments to change gaps, but they kept up the pace and swung to a new ledge.

Hackies were infesting a staircase, but some quick attacks from the girls took them down. The stairs went up a few meters before stopping at a ledge with a cannon. An elevator opened as Mako stepped out. "Those Gacky Sacks are keeping Zach's legs from moving!" She pointed at some giant gears across the pit, which were blocked up by giant germ-like Hackies. "We need some kind of medicine to destroy them and make his legs better!"

"I have just the medicine." Haruka drew a white tube from her sleeve and attached it to a syringe. "It's called-"

 _REOO REOO!_ An alarm briefly went off as Mako crossed arms like an 'X'. "By Wackory Law, you are forbidden from saying complicated doctor words! Just stick it in the cannon and shoot Pill Bills at the Gackies."

"Fine." Haruka saw a syringe-size slot in the cannon and stuck the medicine in. With that, she aimed and shot Pill Bills (or Bullet Pills) at each Gacky. Some were much smaller and hidden in little gaps, but they didn't escape Haruka's keen eyes. Soon, the germs were gone and motion was restored to Zach's right leg. "There. Now we have to get to the left leg, don't we?"

"Don't worry!" Mako assured. "As long as one leg is moving, a rivalry will spark with the other leg, prompting it to fight all restraints and pursue its goal! Next, we should head up to the Process Plant. The service lift will take you." She returned to her elevator while a smaller one lowered by the ledge. The girls climbed on and rode fastly up to Zachary's stomach.

They immediately pinched their noses, gagging at the awful smell. A lake of toxic waste made the entirety of this floor. Mako stepped out of the elevator beside them. "The pipes down in the Waste Well have gotten backed up, causing a flood in the Process Plant. You need to get over there and pull the Emergency Flushinator."

"Should we contact the others to move Zach to a bathroom first?" Haruka asked, repulsed.

"Don't worry! By Cartoon Law, all physical waste must be warped to another dimension inhabited by sentient objects where squirrels are kings."

"We need to rewrite _Minish Door_ , then."

Haruka used poisonbending to call up a large gas bubble from the waste lake. She forced herself inside and invited Maddy to come, which she did regrettably. Haruka carefully rolled the gas bubble over the lake, maneuvering around whirlpools. Toxichus also swum to them and latched on their bubble, so Haruka jiggled the bubble to shake them off, but she did this sparingly. They made it onto a safe foothold across the lake and popped the bubble.

They headed up stairs to a floor where a larger Toxichu was covering a huge lever, labeled _Flushinator_. The Toxichu produced smaller versions of itself. Maddy fought these younglings off while Haruka threw stomach pills at the parent. With enough pills, the Toxichu dissolved. Maddy used her superior strength to pull the lever, flushing all the waste back into the well with a great maelstrom. "I feel bad for whatever dimension gets that." Maddy said.

 **Cleveland's House**

Cleveland Brown entered the bathroom and opened his toilet. "HEY!"

 **Factory**

"Wonderful job, girls!" Mako saluted. "I'll meet you up in Heart Central. You'll find a way up." She returned to her elevator.

"Whoa, check out that statue of Bo-bobo!" Maddy pointed. Without all the gas in the way, the stomach was returned to its natural, brighter color, so it was now they noticed the shiny statue towering straight up to the heart.

They walked around and observed the back of the statue. "There's a ladder on it." The girls climbed a ladder on the back and entered a hatch in the center. The player's camera would rotate and only show the front of the statue, but they knew there was a ladder inside as the two kept climbing. When the camera panned past Bo-bobo's head, _"NOSEHAAAAIR!"_ its glasses brimmed and nosehairs wiggled out.

The afro stuck up through the dark-pink ceiling, from which they could open the round hatch and enter Heart Central. Zach's humongous heart took up the whole of the center, beating very weakly. Mako came out of the elevator. "The Hackies are clogging up the ventilation. Not only is Zach's breathing faltering, his ability to love has weakened! Maddy, you and I need to pump those germs out of here!"

"'kay. What do we do first?"

"Follow me to those pumps." Mako led them to twin pumps over beside a stairway of closed hatches. "Zach needs the love of a girlfriend and sister to restart his heart. Now, Maddy: together!" They both pumped the pumps in unison, causing the stairway of hatches to squirt out winged Hackies at the same time. They were flying back to the pipes, but the girls used them to bounce up to the next foothold. They used two more pumps to shoot spiked Hackies out of vertical pipes. They used the gusts of these pipes to float up toward the next platform, succeeding before the Hackies descended again.

Another staircase brought them to the top central platform, where large cords were attached to the heart. "Maddy, you and I can restore Zach's heart with love. And nothing shows love stronger than a great, big HUG!" Mako grabbed one of the cords in a hug and squeezed very tightly.

"That will just make his breathing even WORSE!" Haruka stated.

"We'll see about that!" Maddy ran to hug another cord. The girls hugged with all the strength and love for Zach they could muster. With enough force, a great burst of wind coursed through the heart, permanently blasting all the Hackies out of the vents. A draft began to breeze up the chamber, Haruka floating up while the others held onto the cords.

"We can get into the Brain Dome like this!" Mako yelled.

"Wait a minute!" Maddy sensed a Catch Card blowing up the draft. When it was level, she let go and flew to catch it.

"Deh, heh heh heh!" The card imprisoned Ed the Hyena from _Lion King_.

"Hello, Ed! My name is 'Ed'!" Ed greeted when Ed was put in the pocket with Ed.

They flew up Zach's lungs and set foot on a platform under the brain, which was bigger than Maddy remembered. Brain cells that took the form of jellyfish served as floating platforms up to the brain, but like jellies, they would electrify if the girls took too long jumping off. Once at the brain, they climbed across worms dangling from it, leading to a hatch from which they could enter. It was a large, dark-pink, mostly vacant chamber with an electrical column in the center.

The Mini-Zachs were riding the crayonorious earwig in circles around the column. "If we can just get rid of that thing, we can clear out the rest of the Hackies." Mako said. "Can one of you try and steer it into that room?" She pointed to a door labeled _Schoolasses_ , which had a spider-web on the knob.

"Leave it to me." Maddy jumped on the earwig's back, pushing the Mini-Zachs off. Using Conqueror's Haki, Maddy held on and gained control of the creature. In trying to steer it into the Schoolasses room, she bumped and bounced around the rounded walls. If she hit the electric pillar, they would both get shocked as Maddy falls off. Luckily, the earwig went in the Schoolasses headfirst, and the rest of the body squeezed itself in. (End song.)

The earwig froze at the sight of mountains of textbooks and incomplete homeworks. Cobwebs linking them together, it would take forever to organize and read them all.

 _The crayonorious earwig bought a one-way ticket to Portugal, seeking a life of uneducated glory. It made a living out of gambling with chicken butchers and creating a monopoly. He was imprisoned for cooking chickens on a crayon burner. I wish I could tell you he fought the good battle…_

Mako stepped up to the control station and seemed to recalibrate the functions. "You did great, girls. We have the factory under control again."

"Sweet, so can he let us out now?" Maddy asked. "We were busy with more important stuff."

The chamber quaked. "What's happening now?!" Haruka yelled.

"Zachy's waking up!" Mako beamed.

Outside, the human-shaped factory began to stomp forward like a rebooting robot. His giant shoes took three seconds for each step, quaking the floor and making things unsettling for all inside.

But from the perspective of our normal-sized friends, Zach was just walking very slowly. There was nothing dramatic about his steps. Once his legs felt rejuvenated, he began to walk faster. "Mako, where is Zach going?" asked Maddy.

"He goes where his heart tells him, obviously! Because I know he's not hungry enough for his stomach to guide him."

Zach's destination was the base's morgue. Miyuki and Suki looked over to him. "Suki… remember that promised time I vaguely mentioned? That time is now."

"You mean… it's ready?"

"Of course. I had Mako work on it in the back of Schoolasses. A room so secure, even _I_ couldn't screw it up."

"Ah… I see." Mako smirked. "Okay, Zach. I'll open it right now!" She raised one hand and called Zach's Keyblade.

"YOU can use the Keyblade?!" Haruka exclaimed.

"As long as I'm in Zach's body, I'm basically part of Zach. That means Zach's tools are my tools!" She winked. With that, Mako headed into Schoolasses, navigated around the books, and located the room _Special Projects_. "This will cheer you up, Suki!" She positioned the Keyblade to unlock the door.

* * *

 **Tamatoa's from _Moana_. Couldn't go long without throwing him in somewhere. ;3**


	20. Ice Cream Wonderland!

**I had this action stage in a dream once!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-20: Ice Cream Wonderland!_**

 **Hivebent**

"I can't figure out what caused your computer to go all haywire." Carol said, her computer connected to Kanaya's. "Vanellope's almost done fixing it, at least."

"I'm Impressed That Your Friend Was Able To Adapt To My Computer's Code." Kanaya said. "Our Technology Is On An Entirely Different Level From Yours."

 _"I recognize most of this code from the Zonis. I guess I owe those guys for bugging me! Hehe!"_ Vanellope laughed.

"The… Zoni?" Kanaya cocked a brow.

"They don't sound familiar?"

"No, I Know What She's Referring To. They're Robots That I've Been Developing, But I Haven't Gotten Them To Work. Our Future Selves Mentioned Them Once Or Twice, So I'm A Bit Hopeful."

 _"Hey, I think I'm done. So, is this the planet Froast you were talking about? It looks really ugly."_

Kanaya brought the image up onscreen. Froast was a rotting green wasteland where lava flowed from a distant volcano, dividing most of the land into islands. The froggy inhabitants were on the verge of decaying. "It's Supposed To Be A Snow Planet. A Beautiful One. The Frogs Thrived In The Ice. According To Legend, The Volcano's Magma Was Meant To One Day Melt The Planet's Ice And Destroy Them All. Lord English Must Have Sped The Process With His Clock Tower."

"Why would he do that?" asked Carol.

"Terezi Predicted This Would Happen. She Said We Needed Those Frogs. If She's Right, Then Our Only Option Is To Freeze The Planet Again Somehow!"

"The only way we could do that is by having Nebula _shrink_ the planet and letting Suki freeze it!"

"Nebula's Still Exhausted From Shrinking The _Noah_ , And She Can't Do Much With Jirachi In His Condition. I Doubt The Three Timebenders Have That Much Power, Either. Sigh… What Can We Do?"

"This calls for a general lack of thinking!" Zach declared.

"Excuse me?" Carol turned.

"Initiating _Super Mario 64_ effect!" Zach ran at the computer and performed a long jump. "YIPPEE!" The girls ducked, expecting a loud crash, but Zach went into the computer screen like a warp. …The girls carefully uncovered their eyes- "AAAAHH!" a Zach-in-the-Box burst out of the screen.

"SISTER-CHAN, HURRYHURRYHURRYHURRY!" Suki was pulling Miyuki's arm and rapidly rushing to the hangar.

"Suki slowdown slowdown slowdown slowdown!"

Sector IC followed them to their ship and took off. "Let'sgo let'sgo let'sgo!" Suki excitedly pointed toward Froast.

"To that smelly dump?" Terry questioned. "I would've hoped for an ice place. At least they don't stink."

Zach was warped to the planet's surface. After Mako unlocked the Special Projects in his brain, Zach's body began to emit ice. "Super Fist of The Fool: Happy Dreams Made Real and WACKY!" His body BURST with below-freezing temperatures. The ice spread across an entire continent's worth of land, reaching even the volcano. Sector IC gazed in awe, seeing a chunk of the rotting green planet return to ice. The glittering fluff glinted off Suki's wide eyes.

Sector IC landed in an open area within some small mountains. They followed Suki, who ditched her ice sandals and skipped merrily up the snowy hill. Once at the top, she shouted, "LOOK AT IT, Sister-chan!" Her friends finally caught up, and they shared Suki's wondrous gaze.

They were staring at Ice Cream Wonderland, a frosty amusement park bigger and more beautiful than Suki ever could've imagined. It was big enough to be its own country, and already the froggy inhabitants were frolicking in this wonderful world. The stars in the sky sparkled like the glitters on the ground. "That weird boy came to Ice Cream Land!" Suki jumped and twirled. "He ate lots and lots of ice cream! 'Said he was gonna make it bigger, bigger, BIGGEEEERRR!"

"Zach sure picked the right time to use it." MaKayla smiled. "He made this planet smell a ton better!"

"Sister-chan, let's go PLAY!" Suki tugged Miyuki's arm pleadingly. "Come on, come on, let's play all day!"

"Shouldn't we ask the trolls what-" Terry began.

"YES, Suki!" Miyuki beamed. "I wanna play in Ice Cream Land! I'll race you down!"

"WHEEEEEEEE!" And both sisters slid down the slide. Miyuki quickly fell on her back while Suki remained graceful on her feet. (Play "Frozen Factory 1" from _Sonic Lost World_!)

 _Stage F-16: Land of Frost and Frogs (AND FUN! :D)_

 _Mission: Have fun at Ice Cream Wonderland!_

 _WEL…COME… to Ice Cream Land!_

 _Where fun and friendship's sure to be found!_

 _Won't you please… take my hand?_

 _I'll take yoooouu arooouuund!_

This was the song that played all throughout the park, and it was Suki's energetic voice to sing it.

 _Cooome with meeeee_

 _And yoooouu will seeeee_

 _Ice creeeeaaam!_

 _I never imagined a more beautiful dreeeaaam!_

 _Beauuuutiful dream…_

 _It's the most beautiful thing!_

Suki maneuvered left and right to grab a trail of glowing ice creams going down the slide. The slide became horizontal as it led onto a field of ice-skating frogs. Suki entered the field with a very fast start, sliding all around the field in graceful form.

 _Beauuuutiful dream…_

 _The most beautiful thiiiiing!_

 _DON'T YOU SEEEEE? IT'S TRUE!_

 _It wouldn't BE without YOOOU!_

Suki grabbed Miyuki's hands and glided along the ice with her.

 _And to haaaave… you HEEEERE_

 _I haaaave what I hooold DEAR!_

 _FRIEEEENDSHIP is the best arooouuund!_

 _And somewhere BEST friends are sure to be found!_

 _Joiiiin me! Catch the RIIIIDE!_

 _With friendship, we will surviiiive!_

 _FRIEEEENDSHIP is the best arooouuund!_

 _And somewhere BEST friends are sure to be found!_

 _Don't be saaaad! We'll touch the SKYYY!_

 _With friendship, we will surviiiive!_

And the song looped from there. Naturally, it got on Terry's nerves; why would anyone enjoy hearing Suki's voice in the sky all night? Anyway, after they were done skating, they skied up some icy slopes, having to long-jump gaps, up to a frosty Ferris wheel. Suki and Miyuki leapt on the roof of one of the gondolas, where a snowman and snowwoman were on a romantic date. Suki sat on the edge and kicked her feet, humming the song to herself.

From the top of the Ferris, a swing seemed to be hanging from the heavens. Miyuki grabbed the swing and Suki her legs, and they flew down, gracing a snowy street of frogs, snowmen, and park games, then the swing flew back up and set them on a slippery snaked path. This path was perfectly curved on all sides, because it had its own gravity! Suki skied along it in a spirally fashion, left, down, right, up, but then it actually became a spiral, in which a snowman was skiing along the underside, directly beneath her. Suki kept steady on the spiral and arrived at a flat ice ground with numerous pitfalls.

The snowman still followed her underneath, so Suki carefully skated around the pits. She and the snowman jumped some moving ice platforms, then navigated another narrow path. At the end, the snowman would catch a Catch Card stuck to the bottom, then meet Suki on a ledge where gravity could transition. The Catch Card had imprisoned Ponyo, a redheaded child with a red dress and bare feet. "HI! I'm Ponyo, and I'm a human!"

"Hi, Ponyo! I'm Suki, and I'M a human!"

"Let's be friends, Suki-chan!"

"Okay, Ponyo-chan!"

From this foothold, cannons were shooting large snowballs up from the ground. With graceful form, Suki skied, leapt off, and began to bounce along this series of snowballs. "Wheeee, wheeee, wheeee, wheeee!" She performed a flip with each bounce, up until she landed on a giant catapult. The catapult lowered into a big bowl of red ice cream, scooped up a huge amount, and HURLED Suki miles across the park. She landed on her big red ice cream ball, kicking her feet happily as she balanced and rolled it down a slope. Then, she was rolling across a field where cannons blasted giant ice creams at her.

The ice creams would bounce Suki's around, and she had to quickly maneuver her ball to avoid falling into holes. Once past the field, Suki carefully rolled her ball over some bobbing ice platforms floating on a lake. They led her to a stable path with several roundabouts designed like giant scoops with ice cream. They rapidly flailed their scoops around, threatening to push Suki off, but she was able to get around and steer her ice cream into another catapult. Again, she FLEW across the lake, topping a mountain of ice cream with her cherry scoop!

Suki slid down the ice cream and was attacked by Ski Guys, who bumped her from the sides. Suki simply formed icy shields to bump them away. From up here, Suki could see a short tower in the short distance. She could continue skiing across the ground and jump ramps to go over water pits. She passed five large rings of snowflakes along this path, causing an ice cage to open at the end. Suki collected the card inside it, which had imprisoned a yellow bunny girl named Cream. "Hello, Miss! My name is Cream."

"You sound yummy! I'll put you on a ice cream later!"

"Excuse me, but I'm not for tasting-"

Suki put her away without letting her finish. "Huuuuu-!" She gaped at the tower standing over her. "LOOK, Sister-chan! It's Santa's toy tower! …Sister-chan?"

"I'm here… Suki!…" Miyuki was at a loss for breath when she caught up. "You're a lot faster than I am. Had to use timebending… huff…"

"Hurry up, Sister! We gotta go in the toy tower!" The child was already running up in excitement. Jack-in-the-box Heartless attacked Suki on the front steps to the entrance, to which the child drew her Keyblade and performed nimble movements to dodge and slice them. Suki could open the large lock on the tower gate with her Keyblade. Inside the first room, giant nutcrackers were patrolling left and right. The toys were different heights, so Suki could use them as stairs to the high ledge by freezing them in a row.

Suki hopped up the nutcrackers and entered a corridor where minecarts full of toys sped down. Suki could freeze the carts and dodge around them, but more would come and push those carts free. She continued dodging until she was at the end, the hall turning left. This passage took place over a floor of spiky candycanes, and spiked minecarts speeding down. Suki saw ice hooks on the ceiling and formed an ice chain to swing them, flying over the ground spikes, but having to still watch out for minecart spikes. A spring at the hall's end shot Suki up to the next floor of the tower.

Floating carousels hovered over the ledge, and below Suki could see the nutcracker room. The rope carousels had snowkids hanging on them, but one rope was free, so Suki timed her jump and grabbed it. The next carousel hovered up and down, but the rope would be aligned with Suki whenever it was down, so she could easily time to release and grab it. The following carousel was vertical, but Suki caught it all the same, then flew off toward another ledge.

Suki followed another train track up a long hallway, leading to a parked red sleigh. "SISTER-CHAN, WHERE ARE YOU?!" Suki stomped in a temper tantrum. "We gotta ride the sleeeiiiigh!"

"Suki…huff…" Miyuki caught up, bending over with hands on her knees. "Don't you think we should… wait for the others?"

"But I wanna ride it NOOOOWWW! Now now NOOOOW!"

"Okay, okay, ha ha!" Miyuki took a seat in the sleigh beside her sister. "How do we activate it?"

"Like this, silly!" Suki turned on the ignition with her Keyblade. The sleigh had a slow start going along the track, but once it got to the slope over the carousels, it swooped down and WHOOSHED out of the tower! Flying along an airborne track, the sleigh soared around the tower before taking off over the amusement park. It turned sideways and drove alongside a Ferris wheel, then swooped down and slowly drove through a busy carnival street, in which fences separated people from the tracks. Suki waved happily at the frogs and snowmen before the sleigh went airborne and flew through a Christmas Tree forest.

"Watch out, Suki!" Miyuki yelled as they were about to hit a giant ornament. She slowed down the sleigh so that Suki could shoot an icicle at the ornament to knock it down. Another ornament dropped down behind them and rolled after, so Miyuki sped up the sleigh to outrun it. The track turned right—three ornaments rolled up from ahead, so Miyuki slowed the sleigh and let Suki freeze the ornaments, then use her bending to push them off. The tracks sloped down and stopped on the forest ground.

"Let's go see the Christmas lights!" Suki cheered as she happily skipped through the forest.

"I thought this was an ice cream park?"

Three Red Freezards and four Red Chilfos ambushed them in an open field. The red ice creatures couldn't be controlled by Suki's icebending, but her Keyblade was strong enough to cut them up. Miyuki shot Chrono Beams and helped her sister destroy the monsters. They trekked up some slippery hills, evading giant ice cream balls, and came to another open area with a colorful merry-go-round. Gingerbread Kids and frogs were riding reindeer attached to candycane poles. One of these people was a Shy Guy, a card tucked in its belt. Miyuki froze the merry-go-round along with its riders, allowing her to take the card with no hassle.

The boy in the card was named Onion. He had a weirdly shaped head and seemed to speak with hand gestures: he pointed at Shy Guy and squeezed his own neck. "No thanks." Miyuki put him away. They went up stairs past the merry-go-round and entered Gingerbread Town, a village of delicious candy houses. "Whoa, this place looks delicious, Suki."

"Miyuki-chan, that's cannibal talk!"

"Uh… sorry." Miyuki blushed.

 _"You were gonna eat ME!"_ Cream shouted.

The girls hurried through the tasty village with Suki skipping merrily. Beyond the village was the volcano, a gigantic cherry clogging its crater. "That must be the top of the planet, huh, Suki? Where else would the cherry go?"

"Yep! I sure hope a giant monster doesn't decide to eat the planet like a ice cream!"

 _"RAAAAAH!"_ The cherry was being devoured by Menos, towering black Hollows.

"Careful what you wish for, Suki." The girls rushed up the path to the volcano, dodging the chunks of cherry the Hollows spat at them. Once close enough, Miyuki shot a charged Chrono Beam at one while Suki hurled a giant icicle at the other one's face. Both Hollows faded into darkness. The sisters arrived at the volcano's crater and gasped. (End song.)

A gigantic frog was frozen underneath the crater. It seemed as though a galaxy was inside its body. "Sister-chan… is that a froggy?"

"It's enormous… Zach must have frozen it when he created this park just now."

"Is _that_ what happened?" The girls whipped left and found the source of the dark, sinister voice. "Bill was right about that troublesome boy. To think he could stop the Universe Frog from dying."

"Sister-chan, who's dat guy?"

"It's one of the Darknesses!" Miyuki glared. "Aizen…"

"You mean he's a bad guy?! Is he gonna ruin my Ice Cream Land?!"

"Oh, that's right. _You're_ one of the Seven Lights, too." Aizen smirked. "Bill talked about you… Suki Crystal the Ignorant."

"Bill called me an igloo?" Suki asked confusedly.

"Suki, just run." Miyuki told her, tapping her wristwatch. "Guys, this is Miyuki. I've encountered one of the Darknesses and need backup."

 _"Miyuki, we're a little preoccupied!"_ George responded.

Elsewhere in Ice Cream Land, Hollows large and small were rampaging the wonderland. MaKayla nimbly leapt around the dark spirits and stabbed their masks with the hilt of her staff, Terry's shadow Tael called up his friends' shadows to gnash their masks, and George froze numerous Hollows in time and shot them with 4x4 weapons.

"Lord English desires the destruction of this planet." Aizen said. "And he tasked me with overseeing it. We knew you would freeze the volcano again, so I've been waiting. Killing you two will be child's play." He touched the hilt of his sword.

"Ugh… Suki, I told you to run!" Miyuki stated. "Just run and let me take care of him."

"But Miyuki-chan… he's one of the bad guys. You said I had to beat these bad guys, right?"

"Suki, don't worry about that. Your safety is more important."

"So is yours!"

"No it isn't!"

"YES IT IS! !" Suki stomped and cracked the ice, surprising Aizen slightly. "I don't want you to die because I won't do what I'm supposed to! If I gotta beat him, I'll do it! I'll beat him all by myself!"

"…No… you won't, Suki." Miyuki turned to her with a stern expression. "We'll do it together!"

"We will? ?" Suki's face brightened like a Christmas Tree.

"Hm hm hm. You children aren't even worth drawing my sword for." Aizen released the hilt. "Oh well… This should be entertaining." (Play "Mephiles Phase 2" from _Sonic 2006_!)

 _Boss fight: Sōsuke Aizen_

"Hadō 1: Sai." Aizen pointed a finger at Miyuki and shot a small laser at her chest, sliding her across the ice with great force. "Just so that little pest wouldn't intervene."

"That was MEAN!" Suki quickly slid behind Aizen and threw icicles, only for the Soul Reaper to block them with a translucent rectangular barrier. "Miyuki-chan, are you hurt?!"

Miyuki was glancing down and holding her chest. "I'm all right, Suki. Don't worry, I'm coming to help!" Miyuki expanded a gray bubble around the area to slow down time. She ran up to Aizen, who was so slow that he was still, but when she leapt to kick him, his body faded away. "Huh?! He… vanished?"

Miyuki dropped the bubble—immediately Aizen dropped from above and punched her in the head. "That wasn't an illusion. I'm faster than time itself!" He then zipped behind Suki and threw spirit flames, the child blocking with an ice shield that quickly melted. Suki skied away to avoid the flames, drawing her Keyblade and charging a giant beam of ice. "Bakudō 81: Dankū." Aizen conjured a wider barrier to block the ice, but even with a stronger hold than before, the barrier froze and threatened to rupture, forcing Aizen to warp away. "It seems you do have a bit of power. But it will not serve y-"

Suddenly Suki was moving at five times speed, attacking around Aizen rapidly, so he had to use Shunpo to move faster and counter her. Aizen, realizing that Miyuki was focusing chi to make Suki move fast, flew over and tried to trap the elder sister in a Black Coffin. Miyuki dropped her focus on Suki to spawn another bubble and Rewind time, reversing the coffin's appearance and escaping. Miyuki froze time and ran to grab Aizen's head. _I hate to do this, but it might slow him down if I erase some of his memories. Nngh… For some reason, I can't! It's like there's a steel chain around his brain!_

Her Stop wore off, giving Aizen the chance to punch her away. "I used my Keyblade to completely seal my mind from any outside force that could taint it, whether it be psychic or timebending. While working with my cohorts, I studied your forms of elemental bending and now know everything about it."

He heard a loud shimmering sound, turning to see Suki conjure a giant snow hammer from her Keyblade. He threw his fist up to break the snow, but then Suki made a spear from the hammer's handle. She stabbed at Aizen, who caught and pushed it with his hand. "For instance, icebending, waterbending, and psychicbending come from the same energy source: the moon. Moon Chi was a supernatural force that Arceus filtered and regulated to make the chis of Water and Creation in a pure, natural form. This is why Water and Psychic have blue-colored chis, and why icebending gives one creative properties despite being a Water product. Furthermore, normal humans developed the skill of magic from the same Moon Chi."

"He knows more than we do, I'll give him that." Miyuki said. "Suki, I think it's time for you to unlock YOUR mind!"

"I get ya, Sister-chan!" Suki stabbed herself in the head with the Keyblade. An ice-blue glow of light brimmed from her mind, and then a colorful merry-go-round materialized between her and Aizen. The Soul Reaper looked to see a roller coaster appear, then swinging ships, and a drop tower.

"So, you created more rides for the theme park? This certainly is impressive icebending. _Or_ , is it even icebending at all?" Aizen smirked curiously.

"Suki learned to release the rides from her mind with the Keyblade." Miyuki recapped. "She did it once before and let Zach seal the park into his own mind, so he could develop it further. But what you're looking at is something different." She smirked. "This is a park Sonny and Donna helped Suki make: The Punishment Playground!"

Cannons went off on the swinging ships, pelting Aizen with snowballs that had the strength of iron. He heard the rumbling of the roller coaster and saw Suki surfing the sky on a sleigh, using icebending to continuously create the track on which it rolled. She swooped by Miyuki to bring her on, and they were intending to ram into Aizen. The Reaper easily zipped aside to dodge—another coaster spawned out of a portal behind and RAMMED him. It performed a loop before smashing Aizen against the ice.

"Hey, that's us!" Miyuki said, spotting clones of their selves in that coaster. "I say we follow the example!" She used a surge of Time Chi to open a gate to seconds in the past.

"Hadō #99: Five Dragons of Destruction!" The ice shattered as spires of energy erected, forming into snakelike dragons. The dragons all dove down at the girls.

"STOP! !" Miyuki unleashed a burst of chi that froze time in the area, holding onto her sister so she could still be mobile. "Suki, can you freeze them?"

"Of course, silly! They're already frozen!" Suki channeled more chi to her Keyblade and unleashed a freezing shockwave to turn the dragons into ice. The girls hopped off the coaster, and for the last seconds of the Stop, Suki grabbed the ice dragons and SMASHED Aizen.

"RRRGH!" Aizen destroyed the ice with a burst after recovering. He sensed the girls over at the merry-go-round—the device spun off its place and whirled like a top. Aizen used Dankū to block it, but it took a greater amount of energy for the shield to withstand its rapid motion.

Of course, after the sisters set the merry-go-round in motion, they actually went back in time to the start of the park's appearance and were at the top of the drop tower. Suki had been congesting huge bursts of Ice Chi within an array of ice bombs. "Our past selves should be gone now, Suki. It's now or never!"

With a nod of confidence, Suki formed ice wings and flew skyward with her sister. The bombs dropped down the tower with great speed and swallowed the volcano in a Sub-Zero Explosion. Suki flew high enough for them to be just out of the explosion's range, though Miyuki still felt the chill. "Hoo-o-o-o. If I'd known we'd be doing this, I would've worn a coat."

"Sorry, Sister-chan." Suki smiled. "But we beat him! Did we?"

"It'll hold him down for now. Let's retreat and go find the others."

Aizen was suddenly above them. "Leaving so soon?" He slashed his blade and sent the two plummeting to the ice. Some snow was on the ground now, so it softened their fall a bit. Aizen descended with his sword fully drawn. "You fools. I sensed the chi of your 'future selves' appear when they did. I decided to play along to see what you were planning. When I felt your current selves disappear, I made time to escape your attack."

Suki shot three icicles that stabbed Aizen and seemed to make him fall over. "AAAAAH!" Miyuki was stabbed in the back.

"MIYUKI! !" Suki screamed.

"The minute I drew Kyōka Suigetsu, I was in complete control of your senses." Aizen withdrew the blade. Miyuki fell to her hands and clasped the wound.

"Miyuki-chan, I'll help!" Suki was about to freeze the wounds.

"No Suki, it's not real! I-It feels real, but it's not…!"

"Pain courses through the body and creates impulsive reactions, but first your mind registers the fact you have been hurt. Even if it is not real pain," Aizen was repeatedly stabbing Miyuki, who continued wincing from the realistic pain, "your body will eventually give in under shock."

"STOP IT! !" Suki furiously attacked Aizen with her Keyblade, but the illusion vanished.

 _"You are a mere human."_ Ten Aizen clones materialized above her. _"Your happiness, your instincts, anything you see or feel, is mine to play with. In fact, how about I melt this ice with a little heat?"_ And a great wall of fire ignited. Suki's throat was dry, and the ice under her feet was liquefying.

"No . . . it's . . so hot… I don't like being hot… I wanna be… c-c-COOOOOLD!" Suki channeled ice to her Keyblade and stabbed her heart. Suddenly, her body emitted icy mist, her hair and clothes turned into glittering crystals. Parts of her skin became ice, her blood hardened, and her Frozen Heart brimmed with a pleasant white glow.

…She was still for a minute before withdrawing the blade. The fire was gone and none of the snow melted. Miyuki's body had no wounds at all. There was only one Aizen, and he looked curiously. "…Br-r-r-r-r-r-r… cold… I like… th-the cold…"

"B-r-r-r…" Miyuki shakily sat up. The dramatic decrease in temperature affected her as well. "S-Suki… w-what have you done…"

"I f-froze my heart… j-just like A-Anna… I-I don't feel anything… it's s-s-s-so cold…"

"You froze your heart… just to avoid the affects of my Kyōka Suigetsu? Hm hm HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Aizen was admittedly surprised. "Truly amazing! I'm so impressed I'll let you have a free swing at me."

"Nn-n-n-n-n…" Suki's feet could only walk an inch at a time, and she shakily raised her Keyblade.

"Oh, no… This is too cold even for her…" Miyuki spoke worriedly.

"N-N-N-No it's not… I-I can… do this…" Suki persevered and kept walking. She had no intention of stopping.

"I must admit I underestimated this girl." Aizen said. "Her will is strong even in unbearable cold. It's a shame I'll have to-" Suki zipped up—Aizen moved his sword swiftly to counter her Keyblade.

"She just needs a boost!" Miyuki yelled, using timebending to speed her sister up.

Suki was still weakly walking and swinging her weapon at a very slow pace, but being sped up made Aizen seem like he was moving equally slow. Aizen switched to lightspeed, so Miyuki increased Suki's speed further to- "YAAAH!" Miyuki was slashed in the chest. Suki ceased speeding.

"S-S-Sister…-chan…"

"The Seven Lights… The seven vessels of Calliope who would save the universe. Did she really put her faith in these children?" Aizen slowly approached Suki. "You may have ruled the world you came from, but we are far out of your league… However, since I respect you to an extent, Suki, I'll give you a warrior's death."

"SUKI, NO!" Miyuki cried.

Aizen raised his sword and STABBED Suki—it broke into spirit particles. Suki's frostbitten body was too hard. "My Zanpakutō!"

Miyuki channeled bending to speed up Suki again, and the child bent an ice platform to lift her as she stabbed Aizen's head with her Keyblade. "Y-You… need to… ch-chill!"

Suki withdrew the blade as Aizen clasped his head. "Agh… what's wrong with my head?! This feeling… i-it feels like there's a blizzard in my HEAD!"

"We might be children, but we endured more than you can imagine." Miyuki stated. "And the first trial for any child is the classic brain freeze."

"AAAAAGH! It hurts! It's so cold! Damn Spirit Flames!" He burned himself in the mystic flames. "Dammit, they're not hot enough! AAAAAHH-!"

A beam of blue energy captured Aizen and sucked him into a T.H.E.R.M.O.S.. MaKayla King twirled it in hand and stashed in her pocket. "You're lucky I decided to pack one." (End song.)

"You guys are just in time." Miyuki smiled, standing fully. "…Suki!" She ran up to her frostbitten sister.

"S…Sister-chan… Did we… win?"

"Suki-chan…" Miyuki hugged her sister. "I'm sorry… we put you through all this. We did it… We beat him…"

"…" Suki smiled. "Sister-chan… you're warm."

"Oh… sorry."

"…I like warm." Suki hugged back. Her Frozen Heart thawed, as did the ice on her body. Sector IC smiled at the touching moment.

A Japanese C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. came to land on the volcano. Sector JP rushed out. "We received the distress call! Is everyone okay?!" exclaimed Karin.

"My sister's been cut!" Suki shouted.

"It's only a minor wound, we have time to heal it."

"We captured Aizen in this T.H.E.R.M.O.S.." MaKayla said.

"Really, you beat Aizen?! Second form and all?" Karin asked.

"Er… it was just the one form." Miyuki answered.

"Oh. That's kinda lame."

"WHOA! !" Jinta screamed in amazement. "Guys, what's that frog?!"

The other sectormates looked down at the giant frog in the ice. "Oh yeah… Aizen called it the Universe Frog. Apparently, we kept it from dying when Zach froze the volcano."

"But it's still kinda in the volcano, so won't he die, anyway?" Kayla asked.

"I think we should ask the trolls about it." George said. "Let's take Aizen back and lock him with the others."

"Are we leaving Ice Cream Land already?" Suki frowned.

"We'll come back later, Suki." Miyuki smiled. "You did great today." Suki shared the smile.

The two sectors left the atmosphere after relocating IC's ship. "I just realized IC stands for 'Ice Cream'!" Suki beamed.

"Ha ha! How did we not notice that?!" George laughed.

"I'm sure you did, George…" Terry rolled his eyes.

"Uh, guys? The T.H.E.R.M.O.S. is shaking…" MaKayla said with concern. Indeed the device rattled in her hands.

"Aaaaaand here's the second form."

The T.H.E.R.M.O.S. BURST, and the powerful spirit destroyed the S.C.A.M.P.E.R., leaving the five kids to drift in space. The creature that escaped flapped with huge white wings that had three skull mouths and one slit eye on each of them. Its body was white with black vine-like hands and feet, with a black head of white eyes and sharp teeth, and flowing brown hair. The Keyblade was clutched in his left hand.

A blue ghostly mist spewed out of Karin's mouth uncontrollably. "It's Aizen! What happened to him?!"

 _"Behold, my Final Fusion. Awakened once again by my Keyblade. This form will not allow me to lose to humans. Your destruction begins."_ The skull mouths coughed bluish-purple energy spheres, which Kayla Rewinded back into him.

Karin went ghost and flew off her ship, looking to see MaKayla balance herself in the weightless environment. "Miyuki and Suki did their part. Time for us to take over."

"You sure you can handle yourself like this?" Karin asked her.

"I fought with Nebula against Dimentio like this. All it takes is a little Time Fury!" MaKayla punched her head and brimmed with blue aura.

 _"Now… BEGONE!"_ (Play "Perfect Dark Gaia" from _Sonic Unleashed_!)

 _Phase 2: Final Fusion Aizen_

Aizen spat more Fragor (energy spheres) as the girls pursued him, and when Kayla whacked them with the Chrono Staff, they Rewinded against Aizen with powerful explosions. The Shinigami warped circles around the girls and dealt swift Keyblade slashes, then warped a distance before trying to catch them in a giant Black Coffin. Karin grabbed Kayla and turned intangible to escape the coffin's grasp. They watched as the surrounding space morphed into reflective fractals, reflecting Aizen's image in giant, distorted form.

Aizen clones appeared around them, seemingly destroyed by the girls' Ecto and Chrono Beams, only for Aizen to warp up for more strikes. "It's those stupid illusions again!" Karin stated angrily.

"I suppose you're familiar with them?"

"I had a brief demonstration when I first met him. I practiced this with some illusions Sunni created, but let's see if it works here. Ahem…" Karin inhaled a massive gust of air, and she wailed, _"OOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!"_ The operatives clamped their ears, her Ghostly Wail was powerful enough to break the sound barrier. The illusions rippled like static, while the true Aizen clasped his head in agony.

"STOP!" MaKayla froze Aizen in time, so Karin kicked a soccerball at him with comet speed—the ball disintegrated against his godly form. "Whoa! I don't think we should touch him, Karin."

"Better the ball than me, I guess!" Before they could do more, the Stop wore off, and Aizen resumed hurling Fragor. Karin evasively dodged the spheres while MaKayla whacked them back. "I can't do another Ghostly Wail until I catch my breath."

"That's okay. I got another idea to stop him." As they shot beams at Aizen, the Shinigami used his powers to make their visions turn upside-down. Even worse was that any direction they attempted to fly was the opposite—they went right when they meant left, forward when they meant back, it was like a player's controller was reversed! "Ugh, this isn't working, Karin! We'll have to close our eyes and use our senses."

"You're right." Karin did so, and she slowly felt the dizzy disappear. She saw a faint image that was Aizen's spiritual presence, shooting Ecto Rays at the Reaper. Aizen flew toward her, Karin flying away, and he wasn't affected by MaKayla's empowered Chrono Beams.

 _"Ultrafragor."_ Aizen conjured a purple spiral to whirl around Karin and bind her like a snake. The Halfa was squeezed horribly until a massive shockwave burst around the area, blowing MaKayla miles away. MaKayla Rewinded her own time to get back over, but Karin hacked ectoplasm as a ring-shaped wound was around her waist. "I'll fix this." MaKayla used a fraction of Time Chi to reverse the wound. "That should last until this is over."

Aizen tried to catch them in Black Coffin, but Kayla froze time long enough for them to escape it. "I think I'm ready for another one. Here goes nothin'! _OOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!"_ Another deafening Ghostly Wail ruptured the sound barrier and pained Aizen to the point his illusions crumbled.

"Perfect! This time, I'll Rewind him back to his normal form!" MaKayla trapped the Shinigami in a bubble and turned the clock back. Aizen transformed back into a humanoid. "Perfect!"

But Aizen was back in his Final Fusion in a flash, blasting MaKayla away with terrific force. _"Only I can seal my Final Fusion once it has been unlocked. Not even Time can command it!"_ Aizen willed spheres of Fragor to spawn around Karin, who quickly turned invisible to withstand the explosions, but she was still blown a distance.

Karin saw Kayla Rewinding herself back again. _But I wonder if time can ANNOY it?_ She turned to her teammates and yelled, "Kodama, take Sector IC and get far away from here!"

"Why?"

"Just do it, and don't come back unless I call you!"

"You better not do anything sacrificial, Karin!" Jinta yelled. With Sector IC aboard their ship, they flew so far that they became a dot in space.

Karin flew over and whispered something in Kayla's ear. "That… sounds crazy enough to work. You sure you can do it?"

"Hey, don't doubt me."

The girls split when Aizen flew to attack, now focused on Karin as he cast more Fragor. _"I was a mere nothing when we first met, Karin-san. I never would have thought you would become the sister of my greatest adversary."_

"Greatest adversary?! You mean Yuzu? ?"

 _"Not your inferior sibling, I speak of Ichigo Kurosaki! Of course, your brother does not exist in your universe, but we share a destiny all the same. I wonder if Ichigo knows the difference between you? Destroying you… may just draw him to me."_

"There's a little flaw to your plan Aizenstein: whoever this 'Ichigo' is, I'm WAY stronger!" She flew a few meters back and inhaled an even greater huff. _"OOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA! ! !"_ The sound was not only earsplitting, it was great enough to breach dimensions.

 _"AAAUUGH! !"_ Aizen turned to escape—he turned to escape—he turned to escape—he turned to- _"WHY DO I KEEP COMING BACK?!"_

"TIME LOOOOP!" MaKayla was enduring the noise and keeping a flow of Time Chi burning from her staff. "If I can't Rewind your form, I'm gonna keep the noise going! ! Karin can only do this for a second, but that second's gonna be forever!"

 _"NOOOO!"_ Aizen tried to attack her—tried to attack her—tried to attack her— _"RELEASE MEEEE! THIS IS WORSE THAN THE BRAIN FREEZE!"_

"Seal up that creepy-ass Final Fusion and I'll grant your wish! But if you change your mind, I'll Rewind time and force you to endure it again! I'm the Ghost of Time, Ainstein, I have an eternity to do this!"

 _"Errrgh… the pain… You win!"_ Aizen stabbed himself with the Keyblade and transformed back into a human. Kayla stopped the loop so Karin could stop screaming. "Huff… no eternity… is worth an ear-ringing headache."

"Glad you see things my way." With another flash from her staff, Aizen was froze in time. Karin drew her own T.H.E.R.M.O.S. and sucked him inside. (End song.)

Karin called for her teammates to come back. The girls were relieved to catch their breath. "Well… that's one way to beat a Darkness." George commented.

"Boy, what a pushover." Terry said. "It almost seems like you could beat all the Darknesses that way."

"No… cough." Karin rubbed her throat. "I'm never using Ghostly Wail… again…"

"You did a really good job, Karin." Kayla smiled. "Miyuki and Suki, too… Today's victory was a team effort. Without a Firstborn to help us, that's saying something."

"Team, schmeam, it was the powerhouses that did all the work." Jinta stated.

"Then it's your job to catch up to us, Jinta-kun." Karin retorted. "For now, just be happy there's one less on the enemy's side."

"Sure it is… until they introduce ANOTHER Backup Army officer."

 **Hivebent**

Karin casually bounced the T.H.E.R.M.O.S. up and down in her hand as she walked to the Penance Chamber. Kisuke Urahara opened the cell so Karin could squirt Aizen inside. "Hey there, Aizen! Glad you could join us."

"Kisuke, what a delight… Well, since I'm defeated, you're due for a reward, I suppose." Aizen drew a card from his robe. "Here." He flicked it to Karin.

"YUZU!" She joyfully grabbed her twin. "Yuzu, you're safe!"

"Karin-nee!" Yuzu beamed. "You sound hoarse. Have you not been getting enough sleep?! I told you if you stay up too late, you'll wake up with a dry throat!"

"Oh, it's good to have you back, Yuzu." She hugged the card to her cheek.

"You're just giving up?" Vaati asked Aizen curiously. "Why?"

"Being trapped in a deafening time loop made me realize how peaceful a prison cell was. Besides… I'm hoping those kids can give Lord English the same punishment." And with that, the cell closed on their new prisoner.


	21. Weird Happenings

**Expect a long hiatus when _Zelda: Breath of the Wild_ comes out.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-21: Weird Happenings_**

 **Hivebent**

Wendy was using the Fairy's Tail to direct glittering air into Karin's lungs. "Sigh…sigh…" Karin was calmly breathing. "My throat… feels… a little better…"

"Just take it easy. If you used that Ghostly Wail again, your throat might explode."

"No kidding… So, is Melody still distraught?"

"I'm afraid so. And Carla's no better. Anyway, did you say Miyuki was hurt, too?"

"I think so. I don't know where she went."

"I'll find her. Point Me Miyuki." Wendy's wand pointed in the desired direction.

The wind mage wandered around the base for a few minutes. She soon found Miyuki facing a corner above a stairwell. The timebender seemed to be holding her chest. "There you are, Miyuki. Let me heal you, too."

"Huh? It's alright, Wendy, it isn't that bad."

"Don't be silly, I can't just leave you injured." Wendy walked up and forcibly turned her around.

"N-No really, it's fine!"

"Wait… what's this purple goop?" The cut on Miyuki's shirt was stained purple. "Is this… blood? AAAH!" A blue rat suddenly leapt out of the cut and tore at Wendy's face before scampering downstairs. "GUYS, THERE'S A RAT!"

"YAAH!" Panini yelped when the rodent ran around her feet. "Ay don't wanna burn it, someone catch it or something!"

 _Rat, stop! Rat, stop!_ Arianna used her telepathy. Instead, the rat chose to run up and bite Ari's toe. "Ow! A polite 'no' would've sufficed, you know!"

 _"EEEEK!"_ Cheren stabbed the animal with his sword and lifted it up. "Fresh meat, anyone?"

"CHEREN! That was completely uncalled for!" Arianna shouted hotly.

"Oh, yes it was." Vriska walked up with a smirk. "Take a closer look." She indicated the tiny orange horns on its head. The rat also wore a purple cape.

"Wow, a Super Rat?" Dillon cocked a brow. "In our universe, that was just a joke."

"Oh, DON'T FUCKING TELL ME." Karkat stomped up in anger. "Is that really YOU, MAJORA?!"

He pinched the rodent's face and yanked it off—in a flash, he transformed into Zanifr Mimchi. Cheren fell over with his sword still impaled through him. "Darn. I thought I could go on longer."

"Majora?!" Panini exclaimed. Miyuki had come downstairs, blushing. "Majora was hiding… under your dress?!"

"He…He didn't want to be targeted when we were in his home universe." Miyuki rubbed her arm softly. "S-So I let him hide on me… He said my chest was warm…"

"It was MMarvelous." Majora said solemnly.

"YOU SELFISH BASTARD!" Karkat furiously smacked him left and right. "HOW DARE YOU show your face around here after nearly screwing up our project!"

"Does this have anything to do with why he ended up in my world?" Cheren inquired.

"It's Majora's fault Demise and Malladus 8ecame rogue gods." Vriska answered. "He tried to give the demons too much power in the New World. That's why they kept invading the Mortal World. Personally, I found it rather funny!" 8888D

"And I'm guessing SANULA is around, too." Karkat said. "No one else would give you a crappy magic RAT Mask. And a BLUE rat no less, is that even real in your world?!"

"I re-expanded Sanula before I did the rest of you." Nebula mentioned. "But I assume Majora was hiding on Miyuki when I did her."

"Wellp, glad ya decided to join the fun, Zany-poo!" Cheren said bubbly, patting Majora's shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll make sure Ganondorf doesn't get ya."

"You are behaving unconditionally joyful. I don't like it. In any case, I thank you for the protection, MMiyuki. However, I'll be on MMy own from here."

"Hold on, do you need me to heal you?" Wendy asked. "You're bleeding horribly!"

"Gog, you're an annoying one. We God Tiers self-heal, nothing can kill us."

"Ehh, not exactly." said Vriska. "It's rumored that a God Tier can die if they commit a no8le sacrifice. Giving their life for someone or something. If I felt like it, I could've died for Terezi. 8ut naaaah." ;;;; )

"Oh yes, Terezi was killed. I'MM glad." Majora said tonelessly. "She was the one who found MMe guilty and ordered MMy banishment."

Karkat punched him again. "TEREZI WAS YOUR LEADER, DUMBASS! If you wanted an ounce of redemption, you would feel sorry!"

"I tried to destroy two worlds twice. I am the last person who would care. Besides, _you're_ the leader now, it seems. Now no one will challenge your title. Except Vriska."

"Doesn't sound too 8ad!"

"Just LEAVE, Majora!"

"If you're so distraught over Terezi, why not visit the Land of Living Dead? She and the others you've lost are MMost likely there."

"You Know We Can't Get There Normally." Kanaya told him. "The Valley Is Somewhere In Swirly Space."

"Swirly Space?" Carol cocked a brow.

"Sounds DELICIOUS!" Vanellope cheered.

Kanaya brought up an image of a giant tornado of stars whirling over a spinning cloud in the middle of space. "This Tornado Makes This Region Of Space Impassable, Even To God Tiers. On The Bright Side, You _Still_ Get To Land Of Living Dead… The Bad Way."

"If we could get there, could we possibly find Kimaya's spirit and bring her back?" Cheren asked.

"Maybe me and Fybi could combine our bending and fight the tornado!" Wendy exclaimed.

"I fear that even our wind combined will bear no strength to that behemoth." Fybi said.

"Oh. Then maybe my father can help."

"Truly idiotic." Majora remarked.

"I'm just trying to help!"

"Nebula, I MMay need your assistance." Majora said to the GKND leader.

"What's the catch?"

"The catch is saving your universe. A powerful creature known as the Universe Frog dwells on Froast. We discovered its frozen form hours ago. We MMust recover it before The Thirteen will have another chance to destroy it."

"But what is the Universe Frog?" MaKayla asked.

"MMake your best prediction."

A loud whistle blew—the operatives clamped their ears shut before looking Yuzu's direction. "Well, since I can't tell time in this dimension, I'm going to assume it's lunch time! Everyone to the cafeteria!"

"We don't have a cafeteria!" Karkat stated.

"You do NOW!" Yuzu led them to a huge room where many of the Catch Card victims were already eating.

"Yuzu thought you all might be hungry, so we installed this room along with a kitchen!" Ford Pines said.

"How… did you BUILD this place in such a short time?!" Cheren gawked.

"Must 8e time paradoxes at work again." Vriska said. "In this universe, people experience time flows differently. We 8elieve it's how The Thirteen spread their minions so far so quickly. And NOW we have a lunch room."

"Come on, everybody!" Yuzu cheered. "Some of you must've already ate your snacks, so it's time to refill your tummies!"

"Can't turn down a good meal!" Cheren hopped to a seat. "Golden Cherry Pie, please!"

"Can you make 8utterfly Toast?" Vriska sat beside him.

"Nothing's impossible in Yuzu's Kitchen!"

The operatives and even the trolls sat at tables and ordered some of Yuzu's delicious meals. Wendy fed Carla some kitty cupcakes, but they bore a duller taste for the doggified cat. "Oh, this puppy tongue is miseruff. ! Misery!" She flushed. "Arooo…"

"Don't be sad, Carla. It could've been worse." Wendy looked around the lunch room. The interdimensional Catch Card victims were chatting amongst each other. Some were worried for their friends, others looked happy to be okay. "Can you believe how lively this place became? So many people from so many different universes. Wouldn't it be fun to learn how they're alike and how they're different?"

"You're starting to sound like your father."

"Aiek!" Wendy blushed. "Well… now that I'm looking at it, I understand why he was so curious. It's just nice to see all these people getting along, you know?"

"WHY IS EVERYONE WASTING THEIR TIME?!" Everyone whipped their heads to Terry Stork. "In case you haven't forgot, there's STILL friends we need to rescue! There's STILL five Darknesses we haven't beaten, and Lord English is STILL fucking all-powerful! How can you all look so happy when we're not even CLOSE to saving the universe?!"

". . . ." Everyone gazed at him awkwardly. "Dude…" Cheren said. "What's with you?"

"Terry, are you upset because we haven't found Lola, yet?" MaKayla asked.

"No, I'm sad we left Ice Cream Land without a triple deluxe—YES, I'm mad we haven't found Lola and we're goofing off playing at amusement parks and eating food that looks like it was spewed up by a rainbow!"

"I consider that a compliment." Yuzu smiled.

"Bro, take it easy!" Cheren slapped his back. "We're on a winning streak and we saved plenty of people! Hey, who wants to see a lightshow?!" He went God Tier and flew toward the ceiling. Two golden flames flew from his hands as he whirled them around the room like comets, followed by shining fireworks.

Terry was… dumbfounded. "I expected him to say something comforting… What's this shit?"

"Just chill out, Terry, Lola will be fine!" MaKayla said happily.

"I thought at least _you_ would show more concern. Miyuki, doesn't Cheren seem weird?"

"Ha ha ha!" Miyuki smiled and clapped hands at the lightshow. "Isn't it pretty, Suki?"

"Sister-chan, it's too hot. Can we go back to the freezer?"

Terry was beyond confused. Why did Miyuki suddenly turn happier? Why was Cheren suddenly so carefree? "You're right to be confused." Karkat came beside him. "The power of God Tier is screwing him up. He's losing all sense of worry and fear."

"That still doesn't explain why everyone _else_ looks so dumb."

 **Casino English**

 **"I love you! You love me! We're a happy family!"** Lord English was dancing with crappy MS Paint representations of the Nextgen Kids. They all had derpy expressions and moved with poor animation. **"With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you… Won't you love me, too?"**

"Uhhhh… My Lord?" Dimentio walked in, his confusion matching Terry's. "You seem… unusual today."

 **"Dimentio! There's my friend!"** English danced over and put an arm around the King of Space. **"Isn't it a wonderful friendly day? I like you all so much! Heck, I say screw the casino and make this a bounce house!"**

The casino vanished and was replaced by a bouncy balloon room. "Redecorating again?" Bill Cipher entered next. "It's your third change today, My Lord!"

"Bill, just what is going on in His Majesty's head?" Dimentio was holding English's hands as they bounced in circles. "The ruler of the universe should not behave in such a manner. His enemies will laugh at him!"

"Don't you get it? Lord English has begun to see the beauty in friendship! Now that he's fought with _him_ , his personality has become more intertwined with his."

"Ahh… I believe I understand." Dimentio smiled.

"Indeed." Bill smirked. "Nothing weakens a person's guard more than the comfort and joy of friendship!"

The MS Paint Nextgen Kids danced without a care or thought in the world. When reflected in Lord English's Octogan, the image of the real kids gazing at Cheren's golden flames was seen.

 **Color Realm**

April Goldenweek was walking in a realm of colorful skies and floating grounds. Giant brushes and palettes were depicted in the heavens. She stopped and saw a circle of Shy Guys slurping paint out of a spot with straws. "So, if Shy Guys can also enter this world, they must be paint creatures, too." She attacked the Shy Guys with her Keyblade and KO'ed them. "Now that Mary's been cursed, I can't risk coming out of her drawing and getting infected. But Xehanort destroyed all my paintings, too. …Huh?"

April spotted a path of teal paint. Different-colored designs of salamanders, crocs, and frogs were on it. Nooses were hanging on either side of the path, along with some guilty painted salamanders. "This path seems different. I wonder if I could find an exit on it. 'Guess I'll just have to take a look around."

 **Some planet's stratosphere**

After Zach's miraculous ice explosion, Maddy, Haruka, and Mako blacked out. They awoke on a soft, pleasant, fluffy surface, strapped by white strands and facing up at a blue sky. "Mmmmnn… w-whuh? Haruka?"

"Maddy? Where are we?"

"Glad to see you woke up!" Mako said. "After Zach's massive brainfart, he needed to burn out the excess gas. We're currently rocketing through space at an unexplainable velocity."

"Is it unexplainable because we're not feeling anything?"

"To keep our skin from exploding, Zach placed us in the comfiest place on his person: two dandelions growing out of his nose!"

It was then they noticed the boy's face above them. _"THAT'S DISCOMFORTING! !"_

"Wait, what if we crash on a planet?!" Maddy shouted.

"I'm certain Zach will land us perfectly fine in that pit of molten lava." Mako pointed.

". . . . . ." And then all three girls screamed. _"YAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"_

Zach splashed into the lava as if it were refreshing, cool water. He resurfaced in swim trunks and an inflatable chair. "Ahhhh. Nothing like a summer splash to knock the knowledge out."

 _"WE CAN'T SWIM!"_ Mad and Haru flailed their arms on the surface.

"No time for splashing now, Zach!" Mako, back in Zach's brain, pulled a lever. "Activating Wacky Rescue Omega!"

E123 Omega from _Sonic Heroes_ flew down on rocket jets. _"Initiating Eggman masks."_ He slapped Eggman masks on the two girls. _"FIRE!"_ He blasted missiles that blew the girls across the shore and beyond with a huge explosion.

"Now utilizing Safe Landing Alpha!" Mako declared.

As they were still flying, a giant TV projected _Alpha & Omega…_

"Oh, I like this movie!" Maddy said.

 _…3_.

She and Haruka felt drained and bored. They slowly fell toward the surface in depression. "OUCH! !" They impact was very painful. "Why did that still hurt?!"

"Easy!" Mako popped up. "Pain is the body's way of saying 'Thank you for not killing me!'"

"It isn't welcome!" remarked Maddy.

"Why is Anthony flying?" Zach pointed. (Play "X-Naut Fortress" from _Paper Mario: Thousand-Year Door_.)

The girls looked up, confused by his random comment. Indeed, Anthony McKenzie appeared to be… flying with his arms. They then heard burrowing, looked down, and saw Fybi peep her head out like a mole. Ahead, Miyuki was bouncing around on a pogo stick. It also seemed like Rob Lucci was still as a statue, floating horizontally, and shifting as it "walked" around. The "sky" featured a grass plain with mountains, and the "ground" they stood on was peaceful solid sky.

This was Planet Laer, the Land of Opposites and Oddities. Everything was the opposite of what it was normally and everything else is just weird. It felt like the ROM hack of a videogame. Even weirder was that different people perceive different things from the natural fauna. The characters can even hear my narration. "So, that explains why the lava didn't burn us." Maddy said.

"And we still couldn't swim in it." Haru said. "Guys, let's just call our friends and hitch a ride off this world."

"Good thinking." Maddy tapped her wristwatch. The watch leapt off, scratched her bald head, and scampered off like a kitty. "…So, I don't think we're getting help."

"There's only one way to get through here." Zach spoke seriously. "Find an art studio and become a sushi chef."

"That's brilliant, Zach!" Mako fist-pumped. "Okay! Let's go win that bowling tournament!"

"Um… yeah." Haru shrugged. "Mako, let's look for a vitamin store over there. Zach and Maddy can head that way. Let us know if you find something."

 _Stage F-17: Land of Opposites and Oddities_

 _Mission: Look for a red-headed girl named Virginia._

Zach and Maddy crossed the first field as Anthony Birds spat down giant water bubbles that bounced around and exploded. Maddy approached the horizontal Rob Lucci, and upon spotting her, it turned upside-down and wiggled toward her backwards. She punched it with Haki, breaking the Lucci into bedspring pieces. Two large boulders blocked the way forward, and a charged punch with Maddy's Haki couldn't even crack them. Zach smiled and simply flicked the boulders away with his finger. They were as light as paper balls.

Now they gazed up at a rugged cliff where a giant spinning fan (with blades made of trees) was looming left and right, blowing a gust of wind down. Their attempts to climb the cliff resulted in mere slipping. Only when the fan was directly over them could they hold the cliff firmly. They had to maneuver left and right in order to stay in the wind gust. At the cliff top, they encountered none other than Shadow Queen Malevolous Djinn. She was also still as a statue, but spun around rapidly as it tried to hit them.

Maddy swung a Haki kick at the Shadow Queen, and she bounced around a series of giant Karkat heads before crashing into a small block in a wall, breaking it. "That felt unnecessary." Maddy said. The kids crawled through the tunnel and arrived at a pathway of spikes with vines hanging in midair. Maddy leapt to grab a vine—"OW!" It poked her like a spike.

"We have to use the spikes, Maddy!" Zach bounced on the spikes like trampolines. "It's just like Mako said: spikes only hurt us because they're scared. That's why we should make friends with them!"

With that, they began to bounce along the spikes and maneuver around the vines. Little Sheila Frantic heads were on the spikes, electrifying their selves every few seconds. As weird as it felt, Zach and Maddy kicked the heads off when their guard was lowered. They arrived at a floating pool of water with torches scattered around them. Using the past as indication, the Murphys hopped the harmless torches, knowing the water would cook them like lava. Some torches blinked on and off—Maddy was almost going to jump the off ones, but quickly sensed their treachery and only jumped the active torches.

From here, they had to jump over a field of platforms over a sky pit—WAIT, instead they landed on the area around it because all the ground areas are pits of death! I mean, they've only been walking on sky for the most part. They navigated around the ground pits before coming to a ledge. Bullet Bills (in the form of Fat Jacks) were being launched from beyond the ledge, too high to harm the kids however.

Forming a crazy thought and knowing the "ground" was a chasm, Zach jumped to bump his head against the underside of a Fat Jack. It resulted as though he had bounced on it, instead under-jumping the series of Jacks to get over the chasm. Maddy shrugged and followed him in like fashion. They past the Fat Jack cannons and landed on a safe sky-foothold. Ahead was a Tetramite hive with a shallow lava river to keep them at bay. The Tetramites took the form of an army of tiny Big Moms.

"This is why it's wise to pack the 4x4 essentials." Maddy drew her B.A.J.O.O.K.A. and shot at the bugs—the Big Moms dodged as the carton projectiles flew through the ground. "Darn it, this level keeps tricking me!"

"Wait, Maddy, they're drinking the lava-water this time!" Zach indicated. "I bet we need them to help us!" He got out a soda bottle and reached a foot over to step on the Big Moms. Indeed, they weren't biting him, they were willing to lift him up. Maddy joined him as Zach poured soda in the direction they wanted to go, making the Big Moms skitter toward it. They navigated around puddles of acid water and reached a narrow, snaky path with holes above it. Snapdragons in the form of dimensionally-stretched Vweebs popped out and tried to snap them from said holes.

They could step off on a safe sky-ground before another ledge-chasm. There were two straight series of falling squares, intended to be Wall Jumped on. Naturally, the only safe Wall Jump parts were AWAY from the squares. They Wall Jumped the blank areas and controlled their natural impulses, a rather difficult task considering how fast everything moved.

After the Wall Jump segment, an invisible stairwell led up a grass hill. However, the stairs seemed to bring them back down with every attempt to go up. "This is getting ridiculous." Maddy huffed, turning to go down in the hopes the stairs would throw her up.

"DANG IT, STAIRS!" Zach was still determinedly trying to run up. "I forgave you for tripping me when I was three, I thought we settled things!"

"Zach, you're messing it up, just walk down after me!"

Due to their opposing directions, a hole seemed to rip open in space in the middle of the stairs. Zach and Maddy stared down curiously. A ladder led down a shaft. The twins exchanged shrugs and decided to climb down. (End song.)

The twins set foot on the floor of a dark corridor. The walls were composed of square-shaped glass cages containing nearly every field enemy from the Gameverse. There were Koopa Troopas, Kremlings, Moblins, Stormtroopers, even a Rhynoc. "This feels real creepy." Maddy said.

They turned two corners of displayed enemies before entering a much larger area. It had a high studio ceiling and a carpet floor. Zach read the large sign above. "'Gameverse Museum'?"

 _"Darn it, Zach! Zach and Maddy found our secret lair!"_

 _"Wait, are you talking to_ me _or that Zach?"_

 _"YOU Zach, who else is here besides you?! Get them out of here before The Thirteen tracks them."_

"I feel like we aren't supposed to be here… Zach, let's go back." Maddy said.

The twins returned through the corridor and climbed the ladder out of the museum. Instead of appearing outside at the staircase, they were now inside a quiet, gray office. They peeked into each section, seeing peculiar businessmen mindlessly typing on typewriters. One was a blue jelly man, another was a sun with arms and legs, and there was also a man with a pink swirly ice cream head. "Maddy… I think I know these guys from somewhere."

"I know them, too. They're from that show I don't watch."

Zach saw a door across the room, labeled _Boss. Do Not Enter Unless You're Serious_. He eagerly ran up and cracked it open. "Yes, the new office pens arrived today. They write just as well as the last ones." Recognizing the voice, Zach opened the door fully. "Yes, thank you. I'll send you a letter to emphasize my gratitude."

That golden afro glinted in Zach's eyes. "BO-BOBO! !"

"Use your inside voice, please!" Bo-bobo stated. "Huh? Wait a minute, who are you? I don't recall a meeting scheduled at this time."

"EEEEEK!" Zach went fangirl. "I'm so happy I get to meet you! AGAIN! You remember me?! Oh my gosh, if Bo-bobo remembers me, I'll have a baby!"

"Children, I'll have to ask you to leave. You're disrupting my businessmen."

"If this is some kind of gag, when do I start screaming?" Maddy asked.

"Bo-bobo, quit joking and start acting hilarious! Aren't you supposed to be with those other less-funny heroes?"

"I don't have time to entertain you kids, I have important business to conduct. I'm calling security to have you rudely escorted." He pushed a button.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Bo-bobo?" A slender security woman with light-blue hair approached.

"Please escort these children off the premises, Pandora."

"Of course, sir. Children, follow me."

"Not so fast!" shouted Zach. "I should be dying in laughter right now! This is your least funny thing since that emotional talk with Beauty. Crack a nosehair whip, you boring coot- AH!" He and Maddy were binded in sapphire flames.

"If you keep misbehaving, I'll have to throw you in detention." Pandora dragged them away. "Just like your nosy little FRIENDS!" She kicked open a door, revealing Mako and Haruka chained to a roulette wheel over a pit of acid water.

"GUYS!" Maddy screamed.

"Hey, Maddy! Hey, Zach!" Mako greeted spritely. "We found that chicken coup you were looking for… but they blinded us with a chandelier cake and we woke up on this wheel."

"Hm hm hm! This world of opposites is a lush harvesting ground for Chaos Chi!" Pandora levitated the Murphys and stuck them against the wheel via the sticky flames. "It took everything we had to sap the humor out of Bo-bobo's little gang, but it was worth it. Once we do the same for Zachy Dear, the Seven Lights will be totally defenseless! But first…"

Pandora detached Maddy from the wheel, levitating her with the flames. "Maddy Murphy… Medusa wasted quite a bit of time with you. She was told by Bill you would be the strongest Light. She tried to drown you to instigate a fall into depravity. She wanted to weaken the Lights' forces ahead of time. And we had the wrong person! Oh well… You conquered your hatred after all, I suppose. Still, Thanatos and I are just so mad, wasting our time with this prophecy. Medusa was destroyed for fulfilling her duty, we expected to rule this New World, not serving Lord English's underlings! If there's one thing I can do for Medusa… it's to finish what she started."

Pandora tipped Maddy upside-down and dipped her in the acid water. "AAAAHH— _bbbblllllttthhh."_

"Good-bye, Maddy Murphy… you will finally be erased from the prophecy you were never a part of!"

 **Hivebent**

Wendy Marvell and Fybi returned to Kanaya's computer desk after eating. The computer troll was still in the lunch room, leaving the two to stare at the image of Swirly Space. "Hast thou any further ideas as to clear such a storm?"

"I don't know… Nebula still can't shrink anything massive with Jirachi weakened. Although, I have _sort of_ an idea… My father brought me to a wind spirit called Typheus before I fought him. He wanted me to use Typheus' chi, but he wouldn't give it to me. Typheus said he would only give it to someone called 'The Seeker.'"

"The Seeker, ay…!" Fybi gasped. She remembered three years ago, when Plankton had them captured. "Prithee! Wendy, The Seeker is mine given title in yonder prophecy!"

"It's you?! Man, I should've mentioned this before! I am so stupid!"

"Do not let guilt plague thee. If thine words art true, wouldst thou bring me to Sir Typheus?"

"Of course I will. But we'll have to ask Nebula to warp us across the Furthest Ring."

"Ay, 'twould be wise not to face fearsome beasts again. I shalt gather my sector to make way for the voyage. …Wendy, may I ask, how art thou fairing with Cheren's behavior?"

"Huh? Well… I admire him for staying positive after everything that's happened… but I felt like he was a little rude to Terry."

"Even I agree, knowing Terry's manners are not often saintly. I feel a troubling air around him. I hope we shalt find the truth soon."


	22. Winds of Truth

**I'm gonna be busy with school these next weeks.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-22: Winds of Truth_**

 **Land of Wind and Shade**

Under Wendy's guidance, Fybi and Sector W flew to Planet Indo and located the mountains shaped like organ pipes. Wendy led the Nimbi to the top of the stairs where the well was perched. Fybi stared down into it and spoke. "HELLO?"

 _"UGH! I JUST RETURNED TO MY THREE-HOUR SLUMBER! Who is it this time…"_ The mountain pipes blew gusts with each word.

"Mine name is Fybi Fulbright. I am one of Seven Lights, and my supposed name is The Seeker."

 _"Yeah, right. I see about 51 'Seekers' a day, sweetheart. Now go away."_

"I should've warned you, he's a bit rude…" Wendy said.

"PRAY, wherefore wouldst I lie?!" Fybi shouted. "I hath read yonder Poneglyph and hath marked myself as the Chosen One!"

 _"Not by me. Good-bye."_ A sudden gust from the well sent the girls falling down the stairs.

Anthony stepped out of the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. when he saw the girls land bumpily. "What happened up there?"

"That shameless fool hast no situational sense!" Fybi said angrily. "I do not believeth he is powerful at all, cowering in that cave."

"Hmmm…" Anthony smirked in thought. "Why don't we see that for ourselves?" He walked around the stairs and punched a hole in the wall. "Follow me, girls. We'll go talk to this spirit in person!"

Fybi and Wendy exchanged bright smiles and followed him. Anthony burrowed further underground, using Seismic Sense to detect a larger room deep below. Even better was there was no wind to constantly blow them out. They arrived at the center cavern, large with several stone pipes that led up to the ones on the surface. There was one place where these pipes met up. A tiny green worm lay on that spot.

"AAH! How did you get in here?!" the worm panicked. "I mean… _PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE WORM!"_ He roared in the pipes.

"Is THAT Typheus?!" Wendy exclaimed in shock.

"THAT'S the wind spirit?!" Anthony laughed. "HA HA! He's a shrimp!"

"This is exactly why I hid down here! Everyone in the universe and their ancestor makes fun of me! Well, I may be small, but I'm a freaking powerful airbender!" He inhaled and blew a powerful breath—Anthony stomped up a rock wall.

"Grrrrr—it's too strong!" Anthony grunted.

Diancie popped out of her Spirit Ball. "I'll help you, Big Brother!" She conjured a diamond wall to block the wind.

"Thanks, Michelle!" Anthony burrowed underneath and dug under the spirit. He thrusted his hands above the surface and cupped Typheus under them. "GOTCHA!"

The girls ran out and got on separate sides of Typheus, Fybi aiming her B.O.W. and Wendy her wand. Anthony uncupped his hands. "YAK! Wait! You wouldn't hurt a worm with glasses would you?!"

Anthony popped out of the ground. "We're getting sick of your crud, so if ya make one small move, we'll crush you!"

"You told me you would only grant your Winds of Truth to the one called The Seeker." Wendy stated. "How can we prove to you that Fybi is the one you're waiting for?"

"By telling me the truth." Typheus blew a small, quick gust into Wendy and Fybi's mouths. "Now… are you The Seeker?"

"No, I am not." Wendy answered.

"Yes, I am yon Seeker." Fybi nodded. "I am one of Calliope's chosen Seven Lights."

"…Alright, you pass." The worm leapt onto Fybi's neck. Typheus glowed for a moment as he transferred his chi. He leapt back to his spot. "There. The Winds of Truth are now yours. Now go away so I can get back to sleep."

"'Twas that simple? Dost thou jest?"

"I have no idea what you're saying, lady. Please leave."

"Very well, we shalt. But wouldst thou inform us as to the Winds of Truth's special abilities?"

"Siiiigh…" Typheus was clearly irritated. "What else do you need to know, they're the Winds of TRUTH. If you make people breathe them, they have to answer every question truthfully. They can even answer truths about themselves that they don't know that they know… whatever that means. Oh, and it can change things back to their true form."

The kids gasped. "IT CAN HELP OUR FRIENDS!" Wendy beamed.

"Typheus, we humbly thank thee for thine gift!" Fybi bowed. "We shalt take our leave." The kids proceeded to leave via the tunnel.

"So, you can make people tell the truth." Anthony summed up. "How is that gonna get us past Swirly Space?"

"Mayhaps there exists a hidden truth behind yon tornado. Shalt we learn?"

 **Swirly Space**

They could feel the breeze of the tornado even when it was relatively small from their perspective. "This wind indeed be strong." Fybi said. "'Tis best if the rest of thou stayeth hither."

"At least let _me_ come with you." Wendy pled. "I can minimize myself and ride on you. My magic would still be strong enough to provide protection."

"And were I to lose thee, thou wouldst join Terezi in the dead. I canst already feel strong deception in this storm, and I shalt uncover it. Wish for me, my friends!" She saluted.

"All right, Fybi, we'll leave it to you!" Anthony encouraged. "Show 'em why Sector W is the best!"

"We're still 3rd behind Sectors V and W7." Harvey said.

"Not helping!"

"Hm hm hm! I will not fail thee!" Fybi did a flip, flexed her wings, and took flight. (Play "Hyrule Fields" from _Zelda: Four Swords Adventures_!)

 _Stage F-18: Land of Living Dead_

 _Mission: Destroy the giant tornado!_

 _Act 1: Swirly Space_

The wind grew stronger as Fybi flew closer, having to evade debris and shooting stars. A long strip of train tracks was wildly flapping toward her, but rather than avoid, Fybi ran along the track and quickly shot light arrows at rolling boulders. The track ended, so Fybi resumed flying; giant fan blades blew her way, but she blew them off course with her own wind. Heartless ships formed square barriers around their selves, requiring Fybi to quickly destroy the ships before crashing into them.

A piece of debris hit her from the front, causing Fybi to fly out of control before setting foot on a piece of flat debris. She held her ground and marched forward, shifting left and right slightly to evade flying Chu-Chus. She came to a vertical strip of debris and ran alongside it, then kicked off to another one on her right, all the while dodging more Chus. Fybi then landed on a long, wide-curving strip, carefully running on it as spikes threatened her life on her left and right. The path ended, and when she took flight again, she moved up and down to evade more spikes.

Fybi thought she would enter the tornado any moment, but no matter how big it got, it was still so far away. "I may hath… underestimated its size. I canst not turn back now."

She evaded cows in space helmets, spinning schools, and three different Wicked Witches of the West. A stage came flying by with a Mariachi Shy Guy band, strumming a catchy song despite the disturbance, and Fybi nearly missed catching a Catch Card that blew by. The card victim was Kiki, a young witch in a blue dress and red hair ribbon. "Thank you for saving me!" Kiki shouted. "Ever since watching that movie, I've had a phobia of tornados!"

"Which film, pray tell?"

" _Wizard of Oz_!"

"AHH!" A flying house came and stuck Fybi against its side, so she stashed Kiki in her pocket. She was going straight into the center of the humongous whirlwind. Fybi kicked off and away from the house, having to close her eyes from the strong wind. "I am blinded… 'twould be pointless to fly further. I hath no choice… but to trust fates." Fybi inhaled a huge gust of wind until her very stomach felt like it would pop. Then, she blew. _"FOOOOOOOOO…"_ Her lungs glowed white as a great bubble of air expanded. (End song.)

From the distance, Sector W and Wendy saw a white light within the tornado. It grew bigger, glinting off their eyes, until the bubble of air seemed to push the tornado's wind away. After the wind cleared, there was nothing left of the gigantic twister. The operatives gaped and quickly flew into the empty space.

Fybi's neck was sore after the event. She floated in place and took soft breaths. Fybi smiled when her teammates caught up. "Fybi! You actually did it!" Sally exclaimed.

"Didst I not?" Fybi cocked a brow. "Pray… I hear something." She turned and spotted a floating island of jagged rocks. The S.C.A.M.P.E.R. landed on the shore of the isle and stepped into a cave. Inside, they found a washing machine swirling a watery cyclone above it, along with clothes, and a Shy Guy reading a book on a chair.

"Huh? How did the machine get turned down? Well, I'll just crank it up." The Shy Guy went to turn a dial. The small cyclone spun faster and expanded.

"Couldst it be the source of the twister?!" Fybi exclaimed. "CEASE!" She shot arrows and destroyed the washer in three hits.

"HEY! My best hood was in that!" The Shy Guy tried to attack her with his book, but Fybi did a flip-kick and KO'ed him.

"Nice one, Fybs!" Anthony praised. "Now let's see if we can get to-"

"Not so fast!" Two Moblins charged in. "Our pants were in there!"

"EW, WE'RE SORRY!" Harvey yelped, the kids shielding their eyes from the demons' nudity. Fybi shot light arrows to destroy them.

"Wait just a moment!" A Hollow and a Grimm burst in—they had no faces. "We were washing our masks!"

"Shouldst thou not be vanishing in that sense?" Fybi questioned.

"Oh, right." They faded into darkness.

"HEY, JERKS!" Five Rubies came next. "We're freaking NAKED without our light-clothes!" Indeed they were.

"They have no private parts…" Aranea said, disturbed.

"Fare thee well." Fybi shot them, reducing them to gems.

Then a Hair Hunt Troop with spiky red hair came in. "I was washing my bald cap! How am I gonna fit in now?!"

Anthony pushed him out of the exit and stomped up a rock door to seal the cave. "Dang, how many people are gonna come in?!"

The door burst open as a gang of rappers entered, playing a boombox. "Yo, man. We was washing our DJs." Kenny West said.

"I think we fell into a trap…" Aranea inferred.

"You are correct, Kids Next Door!" A familiar foe was perched in a hole near the ceiling. It was Czar Baldy Bald III. "You've fallen in my trap, Super Fist of Pale-Blue Magic: Angry Naked People. These people paid hard-earned money to have fresh, clean clothes, and the only thing that will satisfy them now is your lives! WAIT A SEC, my good robes were in that washer!" He was wearing ballerina clothes. _"DARN IIIIIT!"_

Fybi shot him out of the hole, but when she tried to fly out, naked Angry Birds flung their selves up via catapult to knock her back in. "Protego!" Wendy shielded the team in a pink bubble. "Don't worry, we can bowl through them like this!"

"Not so fast!" smirked Baldy. "Super Fist of Yellow Magic: Terrifying Follicles!"

Out of Wendy's bald scalp grew little worms with Baldy Bald faces. "AAAAAAHHH! !" She panicked so badly that her shield disappeared.

"How 'bout THIS heap of yo-yo!" one of the rappers rapped as they all ripped off their trousers. "Our stanky slacks, yo!" The pants emitted stink clouds, which formed fists and attacked the kids.

"It's pointless trying to fight this guy!" Aranea yelled. "He's so crazy, it works!"

"Then we need Zach!" Anthony knew, stomping rock jabs up at the rappers. "Somebody call him or Maddy!"

"I'm getting a transmission error." Sally reported, already fiddling with her watch. "There must be something wrong with their communicators."

"I'm afraid to call Michelle out in case he does what he did to the other Firstborn. Fybi, you and Wendy will have to leave and find Zach!"

"I wish to protest, yet I see no value. Wendy, canst thou battle thine fears and point the way?"

Wendy felt her skin crawl from the wormy Baldies wriggling from her head. "I-I-I-I'll try. P-P-Point Me Zach." The wand aimed down diagonally.

Fybi forced a blue Skypian Apple in Wendy's mouth to minimize her. She put the air mage on her head and quickly blasted up through the ceiling hole, escaping the Angry Naked People. "Keep thine wand true." Fybi told her as she followed Fairy's Tail's direction. "We must hasten our flight, lest our friends pay for all their laundry."

 **Planet Laer; Bo Business**

"Hm hm hm! Well, that acid water did wonders." Pandora giggled. "I expected it to melt her flesh into a hideous mess. Instead, this happened."

Maddy's round head was transformed into a box with tape sealing the top. "Please just send me back to the factory."

"Oh, that's far too merciful for you. You know, we've known for a long time this universe was sealed for its chaos. I often wondered, since Arceus created me as the Goddess of Chaos, I was meant to be a condensed version of all the chaos in this dimension. By all understanding, I should rule this place. I wonder if Lord English will let me have it once he's through with you." She looked up. "HEY, where did that brat go?!" Zach was replaced by the General Guy.

"You don't seem to know what real chaos is, lady!" Pandora turned, teeth gritted in anger. "You would have to sacrifice your brain… and replace it with a foot-long grape!" Indeed, such a fruit was stretched out of Zach's brain.

"You want real chaos?! Try to last one minute against my chaosbending!" She flapped her arms, the air exploding toward Zach, but his foot-long grape sprouted teeth and munched the smoke clouds like cookies.

"Smoke is like fecal matter, and like fecal matter, it is healthy for fertilization! Right, Mako?"

"Right on the dot, Zach!" Mako saluted.

"Yeah! Now, get on in my head, baby!"

"Aye-aye, sweetie!" Mako shook forcefully until the roulette wheel detached from its hinge and fell in the acid water. They screamed from the burning, launching to Zach as the wheel attached to his nose and he slurped it in like a booger.

"Now, Super Fist of the Fool: Basketball With Friends!" With a great POOF, they were all in a basketball court. Zach and co. were taller and wearing jerseys.

"Yeesh, we grew faster in five seconds than cartoons do in 10 years!" Haruka exclaimed.

"This won't change a thing, brats!" Pandora stated. "Whether I have to deflate the balls or make the hoops triangular, I'll be the victor!"

"Hah! She thinks we're playing OLD basketball!" Zach laughed. "Lady, we're playing ZACHSTER BALL!"

"And girlfriends get first serve!" Mako was dribbling an Optimus Prime toy along the floor. "Instead of balls, we take whatever Zach likes and see if he's pleased!" She slam-dunked the toy into Zach's mouth.

"Mmm, Primy! Okay, Mako, you are hereby spared from my Tickle Link Attack."

"His what?" asked Maddy.

"TIGGLE-WIGGLE-WIGGLE! TIGGLE-WIGGLE-WIGGLE!" A stampede of Links from various _Zelda_ games charged in and started tickling Pandora, Maddy, and Haruka.

"WAAAAH! Zach, tell them to sto-ho-ho-hoooop!" Maddy giggled.

"Two can play at this game!" Pandora sent her Chaos Chi at the Links.

 _"HYAAAAK!"_ With a huge BURST, all the Links blew up into mountains of Rupees. The kids were buried, but Pandora was safe at the top. "Now I'll break the Rupees to shards and spike them to death!" In a brief second, the Rupees shattered like glass.

"Rupee-O's go great with milk!" Maddy was on a diving board and pouring a huge jug.

"How did you get up there?!" Pandora shouted.

"Glaaaaaahhh." A river of milk began to flow into Zach's giant mouth. Pandora jumped off the Rupee shards, letting him devour it all. "Mmmm… I do enjoy a good money breakfast! For this round, Maddy scores… everyone a round of kickboxing with Jar Jar Blinks."

Jar Jar came flying with a foot out. "Supah Gungy Kick: EATCHA GRAHAM CRACKERS!" In a flash, graham crackers poofed out of thin air and whacked everyone.

"Who's next to feed the Zachster? Haruka, you haven't served, yet!"

"I don't know what you like, Zach!"

"Then I'll have to give you a red card." Zach did so.

"Great." Haruka rolled her eyes. "I guess I can't play Zachster Ball. Huh?" The card depicted Lee Andrew kissing a Red Yoshi. "WHAT DOES THIS IMPLY?!"

"HEARTBREAK hits you in the FACE! !" The image popped out of the card, punching Haruka in the face.

"Zach, why are you attacking your friends?!" Maddy yelled.

"Friendship is Magic, and magic entails mixing toast with cocktails! !" Zach declared as two Karate Ponies attacked Maddy and Pandora.

"It's only fair that your friends fight back after this abuse!" Pandora grabbed Maddy and Haruka's heads. "Mind Distortion!" She SHOCKED them; the girls screamed in blind fury, burning with sapphire flames as they charged to attack Zach.

"My friends won't attack me! Because I have faith… in my Bus Fist!" He raised his bus fist and sent them flying with a massive punch.

"This is transportation of the authoritarian democracy!" Mako spoke knowledgeably.

"Ha ha ha! You're doing more harm to your friends than _I_ am!" Pandora giggled. "I admit your idea of 'chaos' is rather… _chaotic_ for me, but as long as it works to my advantage, by all means, make all the mischief you WANT!" She lashed an electric whip at Zach, causing him to stutter incoherently. "We'll just see the limits of your madness!"

Zach POOFED and transformed into Willy Wonka. "I was expecting a little more than that…" said Pandora.

"You realize this guy took children in his factory to have them executed?"

"I'm aware."

"Well, now he's spewing TOOTHPASTE! !" Wonka's belly burst open, spewing a stream of toothpaste.

Pandora and Zach's friends were being washed down a fluoride river. "Avast, there be Floss Sharks afloat!" Mako was riding a yacht and viewing through a telescope. A group of sharks with toothbrush teeth were swimming to them.

"How about I gunk up those pearly whites!" Pandora used her bending to turn the brushes rotten and shriveled.

"Joke's on you!" Zach smirked. "Because I set you up on a blind date with those sharks!"

"HUH?!"

Pandora was locked in a dark room. Spotlights came on to highlight the sharks, surrounding her and looming forward for a kiss. "NO! NO! _NAAAAAHHH…!"_ Her cries went unheard. Outside, Maddy, Haru, and Mako were snickering.

"Let's see the happy couple!" Haruka opened the door with a camera ready. Pandora was eating roasted shark sticks. "WAAAAH!"

"Don't be shy! Have some!" The shark sticks grew shark lips and SMOOCHED the three girls.

"AAAAH! IT'S EATING MY FACE!"

"MINE, TOO!" Maddy screamed.

The sharks detached: Maddy had Goombella's face, Mako had April's, and Haruka had Jar Jar's. _"Who've these sharks been seeing?!"_

"A shark's love is as precious as a kitty's!" Zach was dancing with a cat-headed shark. "If ya don't treasure each moment, you can choke on a CAMERA! !" He shoved movie cameras down each of their throats.

Mako swallowed it whole, but her stomach quickly compressed back to normal. "Kids, film should only be ingested through the eyes!"

"BLECH!" Pandora choked. "That's it, the hell with this Gigai! Time to return to my goddess form!" Dark blue flames erupted from her body. "You kids will be sorry! Thanks to Lord English, my true form is more powerful than-!"

 _Pop!_ She turned into a roll of film. "WAH! ! What the hell have you done now?!"

"In trying to expel your spirit from your body, you instead expelled the film from the camera you swallowed, and henceforth your soul has become film. And NOW, you will go the way film has gone!" Zach grabbed the film and threw it in a burning barrel. "Your ultimate fate!"

 _"NOOOOOOO…!"_

And with another poof, the barrel turned into black high heels. "New shoes for my girlfriend!" Zach slipped them on Mako's feet.

"Aww, thank you, Zach. I'll be sure to wear them to all my failed interviews!"

Maddy felt her round head. "Well, my head is back to normal… save for lack of hair. You actually saved us, Zach! Even though you attacked us a bunch of times to do it…"

"I only hurt ya 'cause I love you, Maddy!"

"Love hurts, all right. Wait, I'm sensing someone else! It's… Fybi?"

She looked to the room's entrance, just in time for Fybi to enter. "Hark! Wendy, we hath found them!"

"Fybi? And…" Haruka squinted her eyes, seeing the small figure on Fybi's hair. "Wendy?"

"Great, now can we please bring them back to our friends?" Wendy shuddered from the wriggling Baldies on her scalp.

"Oh, dear. You look like you've had some trouble." Haruka said.

"We were making flight to yon Land of Living Dead, but He Who Be Bald hath ensnared us in devious trap." Fybi explained. "Our belief was only Zach could counter his lunatic ways. Henceforth, Wendy and I fled, but I pray we return posthaste to save my team. How coincidental to locate thee in such an odd place."

"Not like we had much choice. Well, Zach, what do you think? You ready to take on one of the Darknesses?"

"We can't leave NOW!" Zach said. "Sector W can hold it, there's someone else we need to rescue! Bo-bobo turned into a Bore-borebore! If we don't bring back his humor, the Hair Kingdom is doomed!"

"I truly bear no understanding of what thou speakest." Fybi said in disbelief.

"He means the weird office guys in there." Maddy pointed. "Apparently they've been brainwashed into being boring businessmen."

"Hmmm… Now I believest I bear the solution."

Fybi walked out into the offices, followed by Zach's group, who were curious about Fybi's solution. Fybi blew a glowing breath at Don Patch, Jelly Jiggler, and Soften, who all seemed to perk up in shock. Then, Fybi entered the boss's room. "Who is it this time?" Bo-bobo asked in irritation. "This better be relevant to my business or I'll have you properly escorted."

"Thou art in need of fresh air." Fybi blew the Wind of Truth against him.

"Guuuh…!" Bo-bobo gaped. All of a sudden, the truth came flying out. "When I was four, I dropped Battleship's pet zebra in the chicken factory! ! I'M SORRY, GUNKAN!"

Don Patch proclaimed loudly, "One of my spikes is a fake that I stole from my brother and I can't remember which one! !"

"I'M NOT MADE OF REAL JELLY!" Jelly Jiggler cried.

"I had my real head surgically removed and replaced with ice cream." Soften said. "I looked ugly…"

"I drew my face over one of the symbols on Jelly's Lucky Hanky!" Don Patch cried.

"I convinced a little girl to rob a butcher shop, saying she was dreaming!" Jelly followed.

"I used one of JoJo's nosehairs to floss my teeth!" Bo-bobo confessed.

"I look up all my wisdom comments on a comedy website…" Soften said softly.

The four heroes could spew up a sea of random confessions. They talked endlessly and the kids had to shut their ears. "This didst not work the way of mine intention!" Fybi yelled.

"At least they're being nonsensical again." Maddy said. "Are you happy now, Zach?"

Zach was staring at Bo-bobo blankly. He seemed to be entranced by his random ramblings. "I…I'M NOT WORTHY TO FILL HIS SHOES!"

"Say what?!"

"Ordering immediate shutdown of the factory!" Zach lifted his shirt, aiming to push a red 'LAST JOKE' button.

"NOOO!" cried Mako. "Maddy, quickly!" She grabbed the sister and dove headfirst into Zach's mouth, slurped up like a black hole.

"…I fail to understand once more." Fybi commented.

 **In Zach's brain**

Mako and Maddy winded up in a dark bedroom with a window letting in gray sunlight. Zach was on the bed, wearing a sad sack. "Sack—I mean, Zach, what's wrong with you this time?" asked Maddy.

"I'm not worthy to battle Baldy Bald. No matter how funny I try to be, I can never be like Bo-bobo. Next to him, I'm as good as the new Fairly Odd Parents."

"Zach, you can't spend your time thinking about if people are funnier than you." Mako reasoned. "Instead, think about the people who are LESS funny than you! Be thankful for having such a big sense of humor at all!"

"Yes, and Zach, I didn't spend the past three years doing comedy gags with you just to see you put a bag over your head." Maddy stated. "This isn't about trying to be the funniest, it's about saving our friends and saving the universe. I mean, if YOU can't beat Baldy Bald, then…then… pigs will never have a chance to fly!"

Zach gasped. He opened his window and saw two pigs on his front lawn. One was constructing a one-man plane, the other was in the cockpit. When the former gave the thumbs(?)-up, the pilot started the engine and flew. A warplane piloted by chickens flew by and shot it down. The chickens snickered and high-feathered.

"You're right, Maddy! I MUST do it! For pigs, cows, and dodos everywhere!" Zach spoke passionately, the eyeholes on his sad sack furrowed.

"That's right, Zach! Let's ask Fybi to lead us to them ASAP!"

"Fybi's too slow. I know a quicker way. To the Zacharang!" They ran outside to a giant boomerang with seats. The boomerang launched itself into space.

 **Swirly Space**

"Anthony…" Harvey panted in exhaust. "I don't think I can calm down another angry naked person. To be fair, their anger is rational."

"Luckily, Ragyō knitted me an extra uniform." Baldy Bald fixed on an identical set of clothes. "Your end is near, you meddlesome kids. Every naked person you beat adds more to your bill. Your allowances will all go to them and you'll never buy another ice cream for as long as you live!"

"I can't believe THIS is how we go out." Aranea sighed, kicking the privates of an armorless Heartless Soldier. "You know, Adam and Eve didn't have a problem being naked! …Until they ate the forbidden fruit."

 _"The only one facing their doom today will be YOU, Baldy!"_

"Oh, no! An offscreen voice! That can only mean…!" He looked up at the sky.

Zach and his team were whirling on the Zacharang at high speed. "Super Fist of the Fool, Epic Boomerang Entrance!"

"Oh man! That entrance IS epic!" Baldy gawked. "My mom never let me have a boomerang! She said they always turned against you!"

"We ride the boomerang of truth and justice, saving friends and delivering cupcakes at the speed of sound! Now, Baldy Bald, taste my Super Fist of the Fool:" The czar braced himself, the boomerang seconds from impacting. "Monkey With a Pen At…tack?" The boomerang stopped. _"WAAAAAH…!"_ And with that, it went flying all the way back where it came.

Baldy Bald blinked in confusion. Sector W drooped in disappointment.

Fybi and Haruka watched as the boomerang crashed in the office. "Um…" Zach faced the viewers and said, "Pretend we landed successfully and we'll start next chapter at the battle."


	23. Diamond Is Clearly Breakable

**This fight is gonna be, like, all dialogue. Oh yeah, yesterday was my birthday. Many thanks to all those who remembered!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-23: Diamond Is Clearly Breakable, Otherwise We Wouldn't Have Jewelry_**

 _Boss fight: Czar Baldy Bald III_

"What kind of chapter title is that?" Baldy Bald asked.

"Darn it! I'm two weeks late for this battle!" Zach cried, dashing up a sidewalk with a backpack on. "If I don't hurry, Maddy will get the first attack!"

"You snooze, you lose, Bro!" Maddy retorted, running ahead of him. "Today is when _I_ defeat a Darkness!"

"But almost all the Darknesses were beaten by girls, if we don't give boys more screentime, we'll lose 1/80th of our fanbase!"

"Not if I do this fight in a swimsuit!" Maddy changed into a blue one-piece.

"SO PRETTY! !" The boys of Sector W gawked.

Baldy Bald was on the defensive. "Super Fist of Purple Magic: Girl-Loving And Not The Good Way Flowers!" He conjured a field of violet lilies. "This way, I can at least take the girl out when they get here. I'll need to use a different strategy with Zach."

"Super Fist of the Fool, Get Their First Springy Shoes!" Zach donned spring shoes, kicked off a wall, and blasted toward Maddy like a rocket. "The First Strike goes to m-"

Zach CRASHED into Jar Jar Blinks, his bomback lips smooching his whole face. They rolled on the ground, hit Maddy and caught her in their ball, and Zach's springs pressed against the edge of Baldy's foothold. _"WHOA HOOOOooooo…"_ They sprung all the way back to Planet Laer.

"…Uh…" Baldy stared.

 **CUT!**

"Okay, NOW I'm ready for you, Baldy Bald!" Zach declared. "And this swimsuit looks better on me!" He was wearing his sister's one-piece.

"I'm burning it after this." Mad said.

"That's fine! Because NOW my Girl-Loving Flowers will attack YOU!" On the czar's command, the violet lilies clung to Zach from all angles.

"Huh?! No, please, I'm not ready to fertilize! I never studied botanology!"

"Too bad! You'll have to work at a green house to pay for childcare!"

"He will pay for NO child of yours!" announced a girl.

"Says WHO?!"

 _Hallelujah!_ Mako raised a contract in a spotlight. "Zach promised his first baby to me! Legally, if he gives it to a plant, he is ordered to dress in a Japanese schoolgirl uniform and sell ricecakes to Indians!"

"And I don't want that!" Zach said.

"You guys are thinking too far ahead!" Maddy shouted.

"Enough of this!" Baldy growled. "Lily self-destruct!" The flowers exploded and swallowed the kids in a cloud of pollen. "This pollen will cause mushrooms to grow from your skin! You'll be chopped to bits and sold to drug-addicts in back alleys."

The pollen cleared, exposing the three as Italian plumbers. "You weren't supposed to BECOME the drug-addicts!" Baldy freaked.

"Our plumbing business is merely a front." Zach said. "We're actually world-renowned… turtle-killers."

Anthony McKenzie had a turtle body. "HUH?! WHY ME?!"

"TURTLE SOOOOUUP!" The three kids leapt forth.

"WAAAAH! The HECK I will!" Anthony retracted in his shell and came out with missile launchers. The plumbers panicked and ran away, but missiles homed in and exploded.

Anthony turned his sights on Baldy. "NO, WAIT!" pled the czar. "I love the turtles! They make me feel fast! AAAAAHHH!" He was met by an onslaught of missiles.

Anthony blew the smoke off his launcher. "Bull's eye!"

"GET LOST, ANTHONY!" Zach kicked him skyward. "You already defeated a Darkness!"

"I admit, that was a clever trick." Baldy said. "But it can only get you so far. Super Fist of Yellow Magic: Nightmares World!"

A golden light burst from the czar's body, covering the paradox sky. "I was taught this power by Bill Cipher! In this space, your greatest fears come to life. Let's start with YOURS, Maddy! Super Fist of the Deep Blue Magic: A Thousand Years of RAIN!"

Raindrops as heavy as small rocks pounded them painfully, quickly flooding the field. "AAAH! NO, ZACH! HEL- _ppppbbbbttthh…"_ Maddy gurgled helplessly.

"PARLEY!" Zach called. "I would like to negotiate with you, Mr. Raincloud."

"Very well, Zach." The raincloud said. "What are your terms?"

"YOU'RE NOT A PIRATE!" Baldy argued.

 _Hallelujah!_ "A pirate is a man of freedom!" Mako spoke wisely. "And if we all have free will, we are all pirates! That's why we can negotiate with anyone, even rainclouds."

"If you promise not to drown my sister," Zach reasoned, "I promise to give you free Wi-Fi with one thousand good channels for a week."

"Zach, even _I_ think that's a ridiculous promise." Maddy said.

"Ho ho, that sounds good!" Raincloud perked up. "Does it have _Alice In Wonderland_?"

"SEE FOR YOURSELF, MAD CLOUD!" Zach fired Mad Hatter from a bazooka, hitting the raincloud into Baldy Bald.

"Then let's just see what YOU'RE afraid of, Zach! I'll take you to the world of your greatest fears. Starting with…!" From a puff of smoke, there spawned: "A bucket of ham beans and fish?"

"YAAAH!" Zach cried. "I dreamed that a ham bean turned me into a fish and made me work in a cup factory!"

"Where does the bucket come into play?" Maddy asked.

"WE WENT OUT OF BUSINESS because buckets were trending!"

"And it's time to put you back to work!" Baldy grabbed the bucket and started whacking Zach left and right. Zach's hair fell off in strands.

"Zach, your hair!" Maddy cried.

"As your fears overwhelm you, your body will subject to Pure Baldness. Then there will be nothing that can save you!"

"It won't be that easy! Backup Wig, come forth!" Zach threw up his arms: G.I. Joe fell and perched himself on Zach's scalp. "As long as my baldness is hidden, I'll never die of embarrassment."

"You could've chosen a better wig!"

"Don't worry, Sis. I was saving a better one for you!"

"Ooo!" Maddy looked up in bright spirits. A half-naked Jonathan Joestar landed on her head. "YAAAAAAAHHH! ! Who is this naked guy?!"

"I will imbue your body with precious Hamon!" JoJo flexed his muscles.

"I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR HORMONES!"

"Hormones are half the battle!" Zach declared, swirling his G.I. Joe head around. "And since I lack knowing, it's all I have to WORK WITH! !" He BASHED Baldy with the built momentum.

"I don't think so!" Baldy drew Billy and used his big nose as a shield. "Super Fist of Lime-Green Magic: Blow Your Nose Like a LIME HOSE!" A wave of limes spewed out of the nose, each and every one hitting Zach and Mad's bodies.

"No! My allergies!" JoJo leapt and flew away like Superman.

"Knowing when to retreat is the best strategy in keeping this kid-friendly!" G.I. Joe turned on a jetpack and escaped.

"The heck you two are!" Zach yanked out a rope of nose hair from his bellybutton. "Super Fist of The Naval Nasal Hair: Go Go Joe and JoJo LASSO!" He grabbed both men with the rope, swung them around, and successfully attacked Baldy and Billy.

"Zach, was that one of Bobo's abilities?" Maddy asked. "Did you get it from the show?"

"Something like that." The lasso had a 'Not Paid For' tag on it. "By the way, this is yours." Zach ripped the tag off and chucked it at Baldy's head—it was hard as steel.

"OW! I'm not through giving you nightmares, Zach! Let's see what else rests in the darkest confines of your messed up mind!" Conjuring more Yellow Magic, Baldy summoned forth: "The Big Ben clock tower?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Zach ducked his head, shuddering in fear. "Th-That clock… it's… one minute behind my watch!"

The Big Ben was at midnight. Zach's digital watch read 12:01. "How do I know what time it is? I could have jumped time. I could be in a future where guinea pigs are disguised like my friends and my friends fled to the Hamster Homeworld to start a rebellion! Why have you DONE this, EINSTEIN?! ?" Zach grabbed the Big Ben and SMASHED Baldy Bald.

"What part did Einstein have in this?!" yelled Maddy.

"It's stated that Einstein uses a time machine to meet with other scientists across history for tea at the Big Ben every Sunday." Mako answered. "Einstein, being the prankster he is, set the clock back. And that's why humanity wasn't prepared for the guinea pig invasion."

"This story sure has a lot of complex steps."

"And naturally, we do what we do with any big staircase." Zach said. "BODY SLEEEEED!" He and his friends raised arms and rode Baldy down the stairs!

"Oof—AH—doop—DAAH!" The stairs were fit with salted lemon needles, ensuring the czar's painful experience.

"It also has a chainsaw cave!" Maddy pointed. "Better jump!"

"BYE!" Zach grabbed Mako and jumped off with the only parachute.

"YOU AREN'T MY BROTHER ANYMORE!" Maddy screamed.

 _"AAAAAAHHHH!"_ The two felt the pain of the chainsaw cave.

"Kids, don't let your ideas destroy you!" Mako winked. "Anyway, who wants soup?"

She and Zach took cut-open cans that looked like Maddy and Baldy, dipping soup into a bowl and eating the first spoonful. "Mmm! Brainy!"

 _Hee hee hee!_ The Baldy can smirked. _Zach has fallen for my trap! I swallowed a hundred gallons of educational media before this battle. Now that Zach has eaten it all, his humor will be all but logical!_ There was a knock. _Huh?_

Zach answered the door to find General Guy dressed as a mailman. "Package for Mr. Murphy?"

"Oh, goody! Now the Brain Trade can begin." Zach took out his own brain and replaced it with the one in the package.

"A trade?" asked Baldy in shock. "But who's getting the educated brain?"

"The Chainsaw King!" Zach pointed to a giant chainsaw with a crown.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" With Baldy's essence in Zach's brain, he again felt the buzzing bladed pain.

In the next second, the czar was back to regular form, with only minor bruises. "Well, Zach, I'm impressed you were able to push me this far. But you've yet to see what real nonsense is. I'll show you with my Super Fist of Marmalade Magic:" A poof of smoke: "Pick Your Nose With a Giant Crab!" This was indeed happening.

"If by 'nonsense,' you mean it doesn't benefit you at all!" Maddy argued.

"On the contrary!" The crab extracted a laser cannon from Baldy's nose. "THIS crab helps me clean my house! I spent years looking for my old Gameboy and you're going to taste my GRIEF!" He BLASTED the cannon, consuming Zach with an explosion.

Darkness surrounded the boy, in which he sat and played a dimming Gameboy. "Grrrr! I can't… see the… screen… Can't see… where to jump! I WANT MY DEE-EEEEESSS! !"

"Now my Super Fist of Black Magic will BLIND YOU!" Baldy clapped his fingers, and the Gameboy's dim light jumped out and clogged Zach's vision. "You'll never play another videogame again! I'll reduce you to a balding old man! Or better yet, a baby that has no hair at all!"

Zach's clothes began to decay, leaving him in—up to his head in Jar Jar Blinks' mouth. "Crap! Just when I nearly had you shaved!"

"It's creepy that you're trying to shave AND strip us!" Maddy commented.

"Super Fist of The Fool, Clothes Made From Gungan Saliva!" Zach threw Jar Jar against Baldy and came out dressed in a shirt, shoes, and pants with One-Punch Man's face plastered around them. "This outfit doubles my attack power! I went from Level 15 to a whopping Level 28.99999999."

"There's too many things to remark in one sentence." said Maddy.

"It looks like there's a tear in the left armpit." Baldy pointed.

"What?! A tear?!" Zach raised his arm and looked closer. "…Wait. That's not a tear. IT'S A TEAR! !"

The tiny teardrop socked Zach upside the jaw and declared, _"I'm the tear of a boxer, BITCH! !"_ Once Zach was down, the tear continued Ground Pounding him. _"He was punched so hard that his pain and anger transferred to his tear! And I doubt your sweat is any happy cooped up in there."_

A swarm of sweatdrops climbed out of Zach's skin and began pummeling him into the dirt. _"YOU NEVER EXERCISE! Why do Maddy's sweatdrops get to have all the fun?!"_

Flinching, Maddy looked at her knuckles and saw sweatdrops catching some rays. _"Her body sweats so much, she's like a sauna!"_

"I never wanna exercise again…"

"Maddy, Zach's getting beaten!" Mako yelled, lifting the stronger Murphy. "Only your mighty sweatglands can absorb those whiny weaklings into submission! YAH!" She hurled Maddy over to CRUSH the angry sweatdrops, completely drenching the sister.

 _"Aaaaahhh…"_ The sweat enjoyed their new home. _"Pungent and pretty."_

"I'm taking three baths to make sure I wash off EVERY last ONE OF YOU!"

"Sorry, Maddy, but the only bath water needs is heat, the same way we warm-blooded creatures bathe in water." Mako explained. "Only then can our two cultures live in peace. It's also why we must ask our liquid buddies to help us! Right, sweat?!"

 _"Yes, Ma'am!"_ Mako's sweat sprouted from her arm and saluted.

"Great! Now ATTACK BALDY!"

 _"GYAH-GYAH-GYAH-GYAH!"_ All the sweat ganged up on Maddy and Zach.

"No, not them! Baldy is the guy with the red hair!"

 _"Oops!"_ The sweat scampered over to the correct target.

"Super Fist of Rainbow Magic!" The czar's fingers turned to rainbow. "Candy Is Delicious!" Little candy monsters spawned before him. The terrified sweatdrops scampered the opposite direction. "People who eat candy never exercise, which means it is the bane to sweat!"

"Sweat! Quick! Draw your lightsabers!" Zach shouted.

 _"HATCHA!"_ The sweat whipped around and SLICED the candy with lightsabers.

"Uh… awesome counterattack, Zach?" Maddy said, sort of wondering if it was necessary.

"Candy, evolve into your true forms!" commanded Baldy Bald. The severed candy morphed into giant parrots wielding maracas in their talons. "Every shake of the maracas will slowly cause you to develop an interest in studio lights! Parrots, show him how it's done!" The parrots rapidly juddered the maracas.

"EEEK!" Zach, Mad, and Mako clamped their ears, but despite their efforts, they could only fantasize about mountains of studio lights. "There's only one way to break the hypnosis!" Zach said. "Super Fist of The Fool, Our Ears Are Too COOL!" With that, he transformed their ears into hip teen skaters.

 _"Studios are LAME, DUDE!"_ they chorused.

"I'll go back to the hypnotism!" yelled the same girl about all these things.

"Then I will grant your request!" Baldy Bald began moving his hands in a circular fashion. "Super Fist of Black and White Magic." A giant screen of swirling black and white appeared behind him. "If I can't have your ears, I'll have your eyes! If you block them, you'll have nothing but your smell, taste, and touch!"

"Maybe that's all we need!" Zach transformed them into giant noses with tongues with hands.

"Those silly forms won't save you! My hypno wheel is designed to tickle you with tasty lollipops that smell like Heart Candy Perfume!"

"Unfortunately for you, I replaced our nostrils with bowls of spaghetti!" This made their new forms even more hideous.

"That's what I thought you'd do! What you don't realize is flamethrowers have a natural addiction to spaghetti!" Baldy Bald summoned five flamethrowers, torches burning brightly.

"Birthday Cake Brigade," Zach summoned a squad of living cakes, "take your TV remotes and protect us-!"

"ENOUGH! !" Maddy poofed back to her true form. "I can't follow what's going ON, anymore! Who's winning?! Who's losing?! You're both just coming up with random CRAP and THROWING it at each other! This isn't a real fight! This isn't even funny! I have more friggin' humor in my FIST! You wanna see a real joke, then get a load of this."

"No, Maddy!" Zach pled. "It's too dangerous! You're not ready!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Maddy stomped up to Baldy Bald. "I'm ending this once and for all!"

"Hey!" Baldy panicked. "What're you doing?! Stop!"

"Knock-knock." Maddy smiled and knocked the air next to him.

"Who's there?"

"Hawaii."

"Hawaii who?"

"Hwhy did you let me get this close to you?"

"I don't get it."

Quicker than he could see, Maddy PUNCHED the czar dead in the face with a Haki Fury Fist. Baldy Bald crashed against the outer wall of the cave, denting it. The czar fell on the ground with a curved face, missing teeth and boogers mixed in with blood. Maddy flexed her knuckles, which were not sore at all. "That's how you win a fight."

The kids' hair and clothes rematerialized. "Maddy, you did it!" Mako beamed. "Knocking out Baldy Bald reversed his magic!"

The Angry Naked People had disappeared as well. Sector W were able to exit the cave. "What's goin' on? You actually beat him?" Anthony asked.

"We sure did." Maddy said proudly, brushing her revived hair. "Let's take him to the Penance Chamber before he wakes up."

"That's not a good idea, Maddy." Zach said. "If he's even close to being as crazy as I am, he can get all those villains out! We need to take him back to Bo-bobo. He'll not know what to do!"

"That… does not sound assuring. But that means you're probably right. We still gotta get back to Fybi and Haruka, anyway."

 _"Naturally, I can't allow THAT to happen."_

"WAAAAH!" Mako screamed when her new black shoes burned with blackish blue flames. "My Pandora Shoes are turning against me! ! Who could've predicted this?!"

 _"Anybody who had a brain!"_ The shoes swung Mako around aimlessly and chucked her over the edge of the island. Sally Harper launched her yo-yo to rescue her.

The flames grew into Pandora's spirit form, which shot into Baldy Bald's body bod. Healing his injuries, the czar floated in the air, cackling devilishly as new chaotic power coursed within him. _"Super Fist of the White Light Magic: Eternal Sun That Baldifies EVERYONE!"_ His Keyblade spawned as he raised it skyward. A white light that rivaled the sun burst from the tip, instantly shaving the heads of all in attendance.

The light grew to a point where everyone in Hivebent and the operatives scattered around Paradox Space could see it. Everyone lost all the hair on their heads, noses, ears, and any other area.

Baldy Bald's red hair grew to unreasonable proportion, dividing into numerous tentacles of blonde hair, blue hair, black, and red. The segments had various tones, like Nagisa's light-blue hair and Wendy's dark-blue, or Aisa's dark-red hair with Morgiana's magenta. "Oh, but it doesn't end there. With Super Fist of Empty Gray Magic, I'll reduce everyone to dull husks of nothing! Any trace of variety and character will be erased!"

The Keyblade glimmered with a gray light, erasing Sector W's clothes and changing them into dead, blank, and faceless dolls roughly designed in the human shape. Maddy gasped in horror when her black Haki Fist returned to normal color. "I can't use my Haki! Zach, if you have something to pull out your sleeve, now would be a good time! …Zach?"

His black jacket was discarded on the ground, covering a lump. Maddy lifted it off, gasping at the lifeless husk underneath. "Zach… it can't be… You can't be-"

A mouth appeared on the husk's belly. "I can't be compressing my body mass down to make a hasty escape with my Rocket Jacket?"

"HUH?!"

The sleeves of the jacket wrapped around his body and the flame design became a rocket. Zach blasted off, made a quick turn, and caught Maddy and Mako. "Hold on, girls! We're going into spitspeed!" A giant mouth opened up in the middle of space. The girls screamed as they flew straight into its throat.

The mouth swished them about in its mouth and SPAT them out with the force of a hundred cannons. Baldy Bald watched as they whooshed across space. "Super Fist of Blurry Blue Magic: Decacycle, move at the speed of light!" A bicycle with ten wheels appeared. Baldy pedaled with such speed that he was able to catch up with his opponents.

They bypassed everything else, even the Furthest Ring, as Zach was closing in on a blank planet. "Wait… that planet." Baldy Bald frowned. "It can't be! That planet! SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN!" He tugged the bike's brake with great force.

Zach crash-landed on the Land of Thought and Flow. The trio was flat on their backs. The planet had absolutely nothing and would only bring life by the spark of a person's thoughts. The greater the imagination, the more there will be to the planet. It was currently adapting with Zach's thoughts.

. . . . . . . . _BOOOOOOOOOOM!_ The explosion consumed the whole universe.

 **Hivebent**

"…" Kanaya stared confusedly at her screen. "Vanellope… I Think I Have Another Glitch."

The screen depicted One-Punch Man's face. The multiverse guests were submerged in the floor-turned-to-water, others were hanging on giant eagle talons from the ceiling. The outside of Hivebent was completely covered in giant hands making various signals.

Even the miniaturized planets were affected by the madness. Volcanoes had sprouted on Skypia. Clouds were underwater, along with Nimbi houses built on them. Africa was tilted at 90 degrees. A giant Kateenian was plopped over Aquaria. Coruscant and Symphonia had giant ears sticking out of them.

 **Ruins of Thought and Flow**

Czar Baldy Bald III watched as an entity rose from the ruins. Its clothes were a mix of Zach's and Maddy's, twice their height with Haki-black areas over its body. White and black flames burned on the shoulders. Its black hair was long and shiny, but none could tell if this humanoid was male or female. For that reason, we will call it a Nuchacho. "I am Mad Murphy." shcle said, clasping a Keyblade in shcler hands. "I am an ancient celestial being who bends physics and law to my will. As long as I exist, everything in the cosmos submits to my Kooky Haki."

"What kind of nonsense is this?!" Baldy questioned. "You shouldn't have had to blow up an entire planet to make this fusion!"

"But I did. The surface of Thought and Flow was unable to comprehend the ocean of insanity swirling in my noggin, so it was forced to expand it to the rest of the universe. This way, I can be ascertained there is no safe haven for you."

"You think you're a match for Chaotic Baldness?! Super Fist of Neon Magic!" The sky turned bright and colorful. "Hippy Van STORM!" Thousands of hippy vans bombarded Mad Murphy all at once.

"Super Fist of the Foolish Conqueror! Here Comes The Government To Tax Some Hippies!" Murphy materialized an army of congressmen, raising bills that blocked the vans perfectly.

Baldy slashed a strand of red hair and cut down the congressmen as he whooshed toward Zach. "Like your petty government means JACK in the midst of CHAOS!"

"I KNEW THAT!" Murphy caught the czar in Barney the Dinosaur's mouth. "But now that you've dropped your guard, I'm taking you on a little trip called Murphy's Guide to the Madverse. Starting with my 56th favorite planet."

"DWAAAAH!" Barney grew a rocket from his neck and flew Baldy across the cosmos, crashing on a blue planet. Horses were wrestling with hamsters, and the hamsters seemed to have the high ground.

"Welcome to Planet Ugotcha, where hamsters are at war with the horses for stealing their porridge, which the hamsters originally stole from the bears. This war has lasted for 200 years, but it's about to near its end."

"Oh yeah? How?"

To answer his question, the Berenstain Bears marched onto the battlefield with bloody vengeance in their eyes. Wielding machineguns, they shot holes into each and every horse or hamster, wanting nothing more than to get their porridge back. "AAAAAAHHH!" Baldy Bald was given a share of the bullets.

Mad Murphy and Mako were sipping tea at a table. "Don't get me wrong, I like the Berenstain Bears." Murphy said. "I just don't want them telling my kids what to do."

"Agreed." Mako said.

"Super Fist of Blood Magic!" Baldy Bald cast red beams from his Keyblade and controlled the horse and hamster corpses. "They will torment the Berenstain Bears forever more…" The undead animals were closing in on the terrified bears. "…with singing monkeys!"

The corpses all raised orangutan dolls with party hats. _"Happy birthday to you. You are from a zoo. You're gonna get tranquilized, and sleep in your poo."_

The depressed bear family submitted to their fate. They sat in the wagon cage, riding back to their zoo. _I wish I could tell you the Berenstain Bears fought the good battle and the sisters let them be. I wish I could tell you that. But sadly, the Cincinnati Zoo is no fairytale world. You hear what happened with that boy and the gorilla? The poor thing…_

"Sorry, gang, this wagon's taking a detour!" Mad Murphy whipped the horse corpse and swerved the wagon a different direction. Baldy Bald and the Berenstain Bears screamed before crashing into another planet. "Now we're at Planet Getsumjerk! This one is really peaceful."

A lovely blue sky hovered over a lush grassland where flowers swayed in the wind. Earsplitting heavy metal played as the flowers started rocking out! "GYAAAAAH!" Baldy Bald shut his ears. "THE GUITARS AREN'T EVEN PLUGGED INTO ANYTHING! !"

"THEY PLAY AIR GUITAAAAR!" Mad Murphy sliced him down the middle with shcler Keyblade, a group of rockstar flowers riding it and strumming a loud note.

Baldy Bald bounced off the ground so hard that he flew all the way to the next planet. "&$%#* ^$!" An annoying bleep sound rang in the air.

"%(#(#^$%!" A man and woman were on a romantic date.

"()#^$*#&$^%." Two businessmen shook hands.

"*****!" Baldy Bald exclaimed. ("What?! I can't hear my own voice! What's going on?!")

("This is Planet *****.") Mad Murphy tried to say. ("People are swearing here 24/7. Nobody can hear anybody, but they communicate through lip movement.")

("WHAT?!")

("WHAT?! Your lips only have one animation!")

("DAH, this is unbearable! Super Fist of Sponge Magic, Cork These Mother ***!") His yellow hairs spawned a bunch of corks and sealed everyone's mouths. "…There. Much bet-"

 _FUUUUUUUCK!_ The entire planet exploded and censored swears spread across the universe. The force propelled Baldy Bald and Mad Murphy to a whole new world.

"Uh-oh. Seems like we're at Planet Pasthyogurt. In this world, weapons like to pull pranks on you."

"MEN: FIRE!" A naval ship blasted cannons—the cannons shot punching gloves back against their groins.

Two cowboys took 10 steps apart, whipped around, and shot—rakes flipped up and hit their faces.

Two swordsmen were locked in battle—the swords reached back and yanked their underpants up.

In a classroom, a boy was going to shoot a spitball at a girl. The second he blew was the second the straw puffed his head and popped it.

Baldy Bald jumped to his feet and aimed to stab down at Murphy. "Now you're mine, Murph-" The Keyblade smacked Baldy's hands against his face.

Murphy jumped up. "Super Fist of-" Shclis Keyblade dropped a bucket on shcler head.

"Internal Baldness-!" Baldy Bald stretched his follicles—they redirected and stuck saliva in his mouth.

"Goofball Cannon-!" Murphy's Keyblade cut a rope and squashed shclim between two logs. "Er… let's adjourn to a different planet."

"Agreed."

And with that, the two rode across the stars in garbage trucks. Baldy Bald used his hair tentacles to grab and throw old GameCube discs and cut Murphy's tires. "Have a nice landing, loser!" He sped ahead.

"Super Fist of the Mad Fool, Garbage Truck of Heaven!" Murphy's truck sprouted angel wings and flew faster. Once above Baldy's truck, it Ground Pounded, but Baldy dodged back.

"Super Fist of Banana Magic, One Uncomfy Landing!" His truck fired a banana cannon. Murphy drove out of control and crashed inside a Gummy Bear factory.

"Darn it! This is Planet Loadtimestinks, the Wild Factory Planet. Now that we've hit one, the flock is gonna go crazy!"

"Flock?" questioned Baldy. "WAAAAAHH!" A flock of factories began flapping around like birds, bumping Baldy back and forth. "Wait! If they're chemical factories, I could set them all off and destroy him. Super Fist of Flame Magic, Planetary EXPLOSION!" A spiral of flames spun out of his Keyblade. As the factories blew up the entire planet, the czar protected himself in a bubble of his own hair. "Perfect! No way he'll survive that!"

"Das-a sure was scary." Jar Jar Blinks said.

"WHAAAT?!" Baldy's eyes popped out. "How'd you get in here?!"

"Now-sa we can be togethers… forevers." Jar Jar moved in for a kiss.

"DAAAAH! I'm not staying in here with you! Maybe the explosions have cleared." Baldy uncovered the shield. "Huh?" The bright explosions were frozen in time, with Murphy floating in the middle of them.

"The explosions and I reached an understanding."

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Baldy and Jar Jar faced the wrath of the factory fireworks.

"He's more powerful than I thought." Baldy said as he made his retreat. "I need to come up with a better strategy. Huh?" In the distance, he saw what looked like a giant DNA figurine. "Is that a statue?"

"Nope!" said Murphy. "That's Planet Mammajamma, where cats and dogs live together and make plastic boxes."

"What's the DNA have to do with it?"

"THAT'S A SENSITIVE TOPIC, DON'T ASK!" Murphy bashed him with a DNA-shaped bat.

"Grrrr! I've had enough nonsense! I'm going to destroy you if it kills me!" Baldy Bald ensnared Murphy in his hair tentacles, transferring Pandora's Chaos Chi across them. Murphy's head turned inside out (right when Joy was taking a shower), shclis fingernails impaled through shclis fingers, bellybuttons appeared all over shclis waist, and overall, shcle became unrecognizable as a human… and instead became a large fist. "Oh, great."

"I see you have discovered my secret. In truth, my body was like a Rubik's Cube that, when solved, becomes the Ultra Fist. It is said that when the Ultra Fist is reformed, Super Fist users all around the universe will gather in glorious fisticuffs. And here they are!"

"Peter Griffin!"

"Jotaro Kujo!"

"Captain Falcon!"

"Monkey D. Luffy!"

"Chuck Norris!"

"Knuckles the Echidna!"

"Hitmonchan!"

"Rayman!"

"The Ceremonial Fisticuffs begins again after 1200 long milliseconds. Fist Masters: let the one who summoned the Fist taste the fist first pummeling! One Thousand Punches with EACH MEMBER!"

And so, all 200.56 Fist Masters balled their fingers. _"POI-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOI-YOI-…"_ It was like a storm of thousands of small comets were pummeling Baldy Bald's face all at the same time.

"And now… Super Fist of the Foolish Conqueror." Mad Murphy charged energy in shclis Keyblade. "Punch the frigging chaos out of this FOOL!" A Haki Fist with screaming mouths on each knuckle flew forth and struck Baldy Bald's face with the force of a fist-shaped truck. Pandora flew out of his body, and Baldy Bald took the fally fall into deep space.

A black nose hair stretched down and seized the fallen czar by the waist. "Well, now… that _was_ impressive."

Murphy gasped. Shcle recognized that nose hair from anywhere. Shcle recognized that afro golden as the sun. "Not to say I couldn't have done better. But ya get an 'A' for effort." Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo was standing on Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler, who were blowing down constantly in order to float and withstand his weight. "Even though there's no 'A' in 'effort.' But I'm not here to teach grammar."

"…It's… you…" Murphy dropped his Keyblade and ran to him, crying. "BO-BOBOOOOOO!"

"ZACH/MADDY FUSIOOOON!" Bo-bobo cried and ran in slow-motion.

"BO-BOBOOOOO!" The sunset highlighted their moment.

 _"FUSIOOOOON…_

"YOUR EXISTENCE TERRIFIES ME!" Bo-bobo kicked shclim in the groin.

"Bo-bobo! You're not a boring businessman anymore!"

"That's right. After that angel girl hit me with that Truth Breath, I was forced to unveil my illegal dealings with the Muffin Cake Factory, costing me my job. I went on a nine-month spiritual journey and came to a conclusion: I really like bungee-jumping!" He swung his nose hairs left and right as Baldy still dangled. "I guess those Idea guys were right to trust you in beating the Darknesses. Baldy Bald's a bit of a special case, so I'll help you contain him."

"Pray, it seemeth thou were successful in our original goal." Fybi revealed herself from behind him. "But couldst thou explain the current chaos that is yon universe?"

"Uh… redecorating?" Murphy shrugged.

"'Tis going to take much Truth Breath… Siiiiigh." Fybi's sigh blew on Mad Murphy, the Wind of Truth turning them back into Zach and Maddy.

"Wellp, that's something I never wanna do again." Maddy said. "At least I got my hair back! Fybi, maybe that breath of yours can fix all our other friends."

"My thoughts exactly. Mayhaps this is the reason Lord English fears its power. Let us see ourselves."

Pandora had taken refuge behind an asteroid. "Well, all things considered, I'm quite glad to be rid of that fool. His chaos just wasn't my cup of tea. But it won't be long until the Kids Next Door fall into disorder… once Cheren has a breath of that Truth Wind."

* * *

 **Two weeks after getting addicted to _Breath of the Wild_ , I finally get a chapter up. Yay! I'll try to focus on this as much as I can.**


	24. Kimaya of the Dead

**Spring Break is over for me.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-24: Kimaya of the Dead_**

 **Hivebent**

"Nnnnuuugh…" Czar Baldy Bald awoke surrounded by his fellow Darknesses. He loudly gasped, "HU-! Is that a…?!"

Outside the cell appeared to be a white, puppy-size fluff ball. "Arf!"

"YAAAAAH! It's a full-furred fluffy puppy!" Baldy panicked. "I wanna pet it, but I can't tell which spot is appropriate! _But it's so adorable…"_

"Arf?"

"Waaah!" He ran to the back of the cell. "Keep it away! I can't look at its cuteness!"

"Quit joking, you idiot!" Blackbeard shouted. "You can easily get us out of this cell! Pull a trick up your sleeve!"

"Sorry, Teacher, but this puppy is so adorable that the very sight of it is not meant for human eyes." Bo-bobo said. "That's why I traded with Jelly Jiggler's eyes."

"WAAAAAH!" Jelly Jiggler screamed, running around crazily. "Bo-bobo lied! He gave me bat eyes instead of his own! I can't see!"

"No wonder they call me 'four eyes.'" Bo-bobo pulled down his sunglasses, exposing both his own and Jelly's eyes.

Fybi was blowing Winds of Truth around the inside and outside of the base, restoring Hivebent to its original form before Zach's storm of madness. "Thanketh the gods. I didst not wish for a cluster of hands to be mine resting place. But we hath other conflicts to undo."

Fybi returned inside the base and landed before Wendy and Carla. "I rrrreally hope this rorks." Carla said. "I mean, works! Growwwl…"

"Pray that it dost." Fybi blew the Wind of Truth over Carla, swirling around her like a whirlwind. After a minute of doing so, the puppy did not turn back into a kitten.

"It didn't work!" exclaimed Wendy.

Fybi sighed. "Alas, Lord English's power is superior to Typheus. Yet, more questions arise. And this universe hast become even more disorganized than before."

"'Guess I Zached up again!" Zach said with a goofy, guilty grin.

"Verily… wouldst thou care to Un-Zach everything?"

"Now, that's too crazy even for me. You can't expect a comedian to 'take back' one of his jokes! There's no proper setup! It would just be _forced_ and… unfunny!"

"I canst not remember a time when thou were not annoying."

"Well, on the bright side, now that Baldy Bald's magic was reversed, the Firstborn regained their powers!" Wendy said positively. "Nebula's gone down to rescue the Universe Frog with that Majora guy."

"Majora's presence hither doth concern me so. I know thou were not present at the time, but he once antagonized us. Cheren was the one to deliver Majora justice, and 'twas from the villain that Cheren learned of the Apocalypse. And yet, Cheren speaks little of him."

"So, you don't think we can trust him?"

"'Tis hard to say. He is a mystery like our fair leader sometimes."

Kanaya's computer displayed a staticky image of a Gummi Ship flying to a valley afloat in space. Vanellope materialized out of the device. "I hate to say it, but it's too crazy in there even for me. Zach really effed up our satellite."

"Well, This Computer Was Good While It Lasted. I Think It's Time For Some Better Equipment." Kanaya got out of her seat. "Are You Two Up For A Little Quest?"

"Of course we are!" Carol perked up.

"Anything to get out of this dusty lab!" Vanellope jumped.

"Awesome! Then We're Going To Matter Space!"

 **Land of Living Dead**

Sora, Feferi, and Karkat rode the former's Gummi Ship to an expansive canyon afloat within Paradox Space. This canyon, formerly protected in Swirly Space, had been relocated after the Zachsplosion. Kanaya was able to pinpoint its location, so the trio could find it. Sora landed the ship at the base of the canyon. As they stepped off, they could already see zombified trolls roaming the area.

"Well, )(ere's w)(ere all the people in our world swim wit)( t)(e fis)(es." Feferi said. "I'm surprised )(emera isn't on our fins, yet."

"She means 'Hemera.'" Karkat corrected. "Don't get it confused with Emera. Hemera is a Life Spirit."

"Quit dissin' my speec)(, yo."

"So… how come some of those zombies look like _you_ guys?" Sora questioned. Indeed, some of the undead looked exactly like Karkat, Feferi, Nepeta, and Vriska.

"Probably the paradox factor again." said Karkat. "In our universe, we were our own ancestors. Of course, we had OTHER ancestors, too. I suspect MINE is here somewhere. But I'm more interested in finding Terezi. Let's split up and try to find them."

"Don't care about finding Kimaya, do ya?" asked Django de los Muertos, pushing Sora aside as he stepped off the Gummi Ship. "Well, then I guess I won't bother bringing _your_ girlfriend back from the dead."

")(emera wouldn't let you bring Kimaya back, anyway." Feferi said. "She negated MaKayla's timebending, no way she'd give a fis)( what you'd say."

"It's too late for her to but in. Me and Kimaya already signed our contract. And no one buts in a deal with DJANGO!" His eyes burned.

"I'm… not sure how to feel about that." Sora said.

"Just protect my boney ass until we find them, Keyboy. I'll take care of the rest." (Play "Land of Livid Dead" from _Rayman Origins_!)

 _Stage F-18: Land of Living Dead_

 _Mission: Find Kimaya and Terezi!_

 _Act 2_

Django and Sora ventured to a marsh of red goop with giant skulls bobbing up and down. With a strum of his guitar, Django made the skulls float in place, but they would have to jump across quickly before the spell wore off. They landed on a shore and were ambushed by Gorilla Grimm, who smashed the ground with their fists and blew the two back with shockwaves. Django strummed up Skeleton Soldiers (which looked like trolls) to grab the gorillas, and Sora spawned a teacups ride made of light, the large cups spinning and ramming the dark creatures until they faded.

They discovered a lone metal box with a whirlwind spiraling out of it. Beyond it was a spike field with corpses lain on it. "I'm not sure what this box is, but I bet we can use it!" said Sora as he leapt into the whirlwind. Django accompanied him as the Key-bearer used Magnet to levitate the box and have it float over the spikes. The corpse trolls woke up and were swept in the whirlwind, so Django batted them out with his guitar. Sora navigated the tornado block over a narrow spiked path while Django shot magic blasts at Koopa Keese (turtles with bat wings).

They landed on a lone, barren platform with a zombie troll. The troll wore brown armor with black goggles, had a ponytail, and a blue arrow drawn on the belt. "Well, it seems we have some new faces!" he said with a grin. "I'll wager you're into horses, cowboy."

"Yes, they're a delight. You know a good way across this canyon?"

"Sure do! I lassoed this one yesterday." Horuss whistled. Django and Sora gasped as a bone snake dragon emerged from below the cliff, flying with several angel wings on segments of its body. "Saddle up, fellas!" The two quickly jumped and grabbed the dragon's spines. As it soared across the chasm, its segments began to break off and fly their own direction, so the boys quickly ran toward the head. Sora stopped when he noticed a Catch Card floating up to his left. The third-to-last segment which he stood on conveniently flew up to the card. Sora snatched it before spawning a light roller coaster to fly down to the head. The Catch Card contained a spike-haired businessman named Leorio.

"Can't you just make a roller coaster to carry us anywhere?" Django asked.

"It takes too much magic. I'll only use it if I need to."

The dragon head dropped them at a barren field with troll heads half-buried in the ground. Sensing intruders, the dead heads grew ogre-like bodies of dead limbs, limping toward the duo and attempting to Ground Pound them. Django strummed a note that turned his guitar into an axe, using it to sever the ogres' limbs and finish by chopping their heads in half. Sora used Blizzaga to freeze the ogres to make Django's job easier.

Past the field, they found a pond of purple poisonous water where giant skulls bathed with their jaws wide open. Django controlled the skulls so they would all face up and spew fountains of water. Sora froze the fountains with Blizzaga to make them jumpable. The skulls bobbed thanks to their weight, making jumping tricky. They crossed to a short cliff and climbed up to another poisonous pond. Treadmills made of milky candybars served as the only pathways, but they were rolling into the giant jaws of happy munching skulls.

"Stopza!" Sora froze the first skull in time, so they could ride the treadmill past its wide maw. They jumped other treadmills that angled different directions and repeated the action for every other skull. The latest treadmill directed them through a narrow canyon. Skulls popped up without warning, forcing Sora to act fast in Stopping them. Finally, the treadmill led out of the canyon and rolled faster as it angled up. They were heading through the back of another skull, which SPIT them with the force of a cannon. They flew across the toxic lake and plopped onto some clouds.

"Euh!" Sora pinched his nose shut. "These clouds are emitting some sort of gas!"

"Doesn't bother me." Django smiled, breathing peacefully through his dead nose. Dry Dayzees (skeletal flowers(?)) sprouted out of the cloud and sung Dark Notes intended to bring Sora to death. Whereas Django was already dead, he played his Mystic Guitar to control the lifeless plant-bones. Their path was blocked by an Eargore, the same as an Eyegore, only with a giant ear to shoot lasers from. Django commanded the Dayzees to sing Dark Notes to kill the beast.

Up ahead, they found a zombie troll with wild black hair and a skeleton jumpsuit pumping balloon-sized clouds with gas. There were green skulls on either side of his ledge, green flames in their sockets. "Are those supposed to be Lord English?" Sora asked.

:oD The blank-eyed troll turned around, smiling. Kurloz nodded and bowed to a skull.

"So, you like Lord English?"

:oD

"Hey, we like English, too!" Django grinned. "Fancy helping some brothers out?"

Kurloz shrugged. He bumped another cloud to large size and gestured them to get on. The duo had to navigate the cloud over a chasm and maneuver around giant sharp fans that clearly spelled death. The cloud slowly shrunk from lack of air, but they could move it over a gas geyser to refill it. The next set of fans were above and below, intended to push the cloud into each other. Sora and Django navigated past the fans carefully and refilled the cloud with a gas geyser. For this last segment, an undead Lakitu floated over them and dropped Spiny spines. The cloud creature swiftly evaded their attacks, so Sora had to bat the Spines away while Django steered.

They were drifting toward a series of tall, tornado-shaped islands with very thin, unstable bases. Landing on the first one, the island already began to wobble unsafely. "'ey, we got some live bait, lads!" A squad of Dutchman Pirates flew down on eagle Grimm, and said Grimm held Shinra-made cannons in their talons. "We can't have THAT here, eh?" Sora and Django dodged the powerful cannons, but their unsafe foothold shook more with each impact.

"Will your precious magic allow you to freeze this ground in place?!" asked Django.

"It's a little too big… but I can do something else!" Sora jumped in front to trick the pirates into aiming at him. They shot the cannons, but Sora whipped up a barrier with Reflega to absorb the impact, sending it back with enough force to destroy the Grimm. The pirates landed on the ground and drew Shinra swords, clashing with the Key-bearer before Sora began to spam Firaga and easily roast the Fishmen.

 _"ARF ARF ARF!"_ Down below on the spiked ground, a skeletal Chain Chomp was rapidly rolling around and ramming the bases of the pillars. Django strummed brief Song Roads for them to slide across to each pillar, doing so quickly as the pillars were falling fast. Unfortunately, there was no path beyond the final pillar, so they were left with little option but to run onto its side as it fell. The pillar rolled haphazardly down the hill, the two running in a silly fashion to stay balanced on it. Skulls bounced up from the momentum, and they had to shift left and right lest the skulls knock them off.

The pillar splashed into toxic water and briefly rolled across as it sank, but it arrived at shore just in time for the two to jump off. On this small island were some corpses laying on the ground together. Django eagerly ran up to the skeleton with a black cowboy hat and clothes. (End song.)

"There she is! Kimaya!"

"All right! We found her!" Sora grinned. "So, can you bring her back to life?"

"I can bring her close. All it takes is a few notes." Django held his guitar ready and changed the tuner. He played a gentle jingle as soft notes floated out and around Kimaya. _"I have come to finalize our contract. We will seal it with your word. Will you join me… or won't you?"_

Darkness engulfed both him and Kimaya. The corpse's bones rattled as they got to their feet. With enthusiasm, Kimaya answered, "Heck yeah!"

They locked hands as a flame blossomed between them. Kimaya's undead eyes brimmed a ghastly green, the Keyblades returning to her hands. She stares at the backs of her boney hands and felt her hips, feeling as though she lost 100 pounds. "Damn, you right, Django… bein' undead feels pretty dang good!"

"I…I don't understand." Sora said confusedly. "She's no different than the zombified trolls."

"Oh, she's better than all those trolls." said Django. "I revived Kimaya's bones with enhanced chi and mobility. Her soul would have been locked in suspended animation if I hadn't come along."

"Oh… Well, as long as she's somewhat alive." Sora smiled. "Now I can help her train with her Keyblade!"

Almost immediately, they heard a great SPLASH, looking over the toxic lake as a towering figure emerged. Her form was as golden as the sun, and it seemed as though a snakelike sash was wrapped around her slender build. _"Who dares trespass on my land? Interfering with my dead?"_

"So, you must be Hemera." Django assumed. "Hate to ruin your parade, but I'm taking this girl with me. Legally, she's mine. (But of course, I don't think of you as property." he said to Kim. "It's just part of the contract thing.")

"'Long as it gits us outta here."

 _"You are mistaken. You see, all things dead…"_

"Belong to ME-AH!" Davy Jones was on top of the spirit's head.

"JONES!" Sora drew his blade.

"This Spirit of Life had a bit too much… _life_ for my tastes. I have corrupted her with darkness-ah. We knew you would come for the Light, but you will not forestall her fate-ah!"

Hemera's golden form turned to darkness as the spirit spat a dark beam at the heroes. Sora used Reflega to bounce the darkness back at Hemera, and Jones jumped down for a strong SLASH against Sora's raised Keyblade. All three heroes surrounded Jones, only for the captain to whip water and knock all three back. Sora conjured a light coaster, telling Kim and Django to jump in as it rammed Jones and drove over the toxic water. Jones fell into the toxic, but his Inferius form survived. Hemera tried to crush them under her snakelike tail, but Sora kept the coaster steady on their way to shore.

"Everyone stand together!" Sora yelled, quickly halting. "I'll warp us back to the Gummi Ship!" With Django and Kimaya by his side, Sora whipped the Keyblade up and transported all three.

They reappeared in the ship as Sora started up the engine. "Let's find Karkat and Feferi. Hopefully, they located Terezi by now."

"Uuuh, what's with the purple cloud things?" Kimaya asked.

"HUH?!" Sora gasped, realizing purple clouds were stuck to the ship's exterior, similar to the gas clouds from before. Kurloz was riding one, glaring and shaking his head in disappointment.

"I'm guessing he was on to my lie." Django said.

"Grrr, let us go!" Sora ordered. "Don't you know what Lord English is doing?! How could you follow someone like him?!"

Kurloz drew his finger over his chest in the form of an '8', then bowed his head. "You know what, you make us undead look like chumps!" Django climbed out of the cockpit and fired a sonic wave at the troll. Kimaya used poisonbending to pull the gas clouds off the ship. With the engines unclogged, Sora could fly them up and out of there. Kurloz pulled a cork on his cloud, releasing gas rapidly. He held a lighter over the hole to make a rocket, flying after them with surprising speed.

 **Somewhere else in the valley**

Feferi finished stabbing two more Hollows with her trident. She did a twirl with her polearm as she and Karkat proceeded up a wide, tall flight of stairs. "Why'd you fitsh your Sicklekind? If we're going to be an aquatic-themed duo, you need to at least do )(alf the fighting."

"Tamatoa wouldn't get his pinchers out of my ass about it, so I decided to make him happy."

"Terezi's gonna grind you into crab cakes without your weapons." Feferi smiled. "We'll )(ave to make )(er leader again."

"Piss off."

At the top of the stairs, they overlooked some golden ancient ruins, where many zombie trolls gathered and socialized. "If there's one thing I know about ancestors, they're royal assholes." Karkat said.

"I see n9thing has changed with y9u, y9ung Karkat."

Karkat's blood boiled. "Oh, HELL NO. NOT THAT ARROGANT, SON OF A BITCH-"

"I assume y9u refer t9 y9urs truly." said a zombie troll with a red shirt and an expression and hair similar to Karkat.

"FUCK. OFF. KANKRI."

"That's n9 way t9 talk t9 y9ur 6l99d relative. 9ur universe may 6e in sham6les and law n9nexistent, 6ut we must n9t deny 9ur family. If y9u t99k the time t9 kn9w y9urself, y9u w9uld 6ec9me m9re efficient as a leader. An9ther 9ne 9f y9ur vari9us flaws is y9ur insistence in repressing y9ur heritage. I kn9w that we have 6een titled as 'freaks' f9r 9ur red 6l99d, 6ut we are 9ne 9f a kind, and a universe with9ut acceptance is a l9st universe. 6ack in _my_ day, even I remem6er-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! If our bloodline is SO damn special, why the HELL did you abandon me with that JACKASS crab?! Did you think listening to 'SHINY' for hours and HOURS would make me a better leader?! I prefer it over listening to YOUR stupid ass all day, I'll give you that. Now, where the hell is Terezi? Blind girl with glasses?"

"She, unlike y9u, was happily 69nding with her ancest9r. And I see she has returned." (Play "GameGlr" from _Homestuck_!)

A skateboard-riding troll shredded along the edge of the walkway, doing a whirl before stopping beside them. The girl wore red glasses like Terezi (albeit rectangular), had a teal and black body suit with a red Libra sign around the middle, and red boots. "S3NS4T1ON4L! ! W4s th4t th3 r4d3st th1ng you 3V3R s4w?!"

"You must be Terezi's ancestor." Karkat said.

"D4RN R1GHT! N4m3's L4tul4! H3r s3ns3 of sm3ll 1s W4Y b3tt3r th4n m1n3, but 1 don't n33d 1t wh3n 1'm TOT4LLY R4D1C4L!"

"That's overcompensating if **I** ever heard it. Please, just tell me where Terezi is."

"1'll do y4 on3 b3tt3r: 1'll T4K3 Y4 to T3r3z1! W1th 4 c4tch. You 4nd m3 4r3 gonn4 b3 SHR3DD1NG th3 whol3 w4y! 1f y4 f4ll off, st4rt b4ck wh3r3 you w3r3. You'll n33d th3s3!" Latula tossed a skateboard to both Karkat and Feferi. "Try not to 34t my DUST!" Latula shredded over the path, doing a flip.

"Don't just stand t)(ere like a snail, Boss." Feferi told her friend before shredding after.

"W9uld y9u like _me_ t9 g9 in y9ur stead?" asked Kankri.

"Don't follow me. Or get in my line of sight. Ever." With that, Karkat followed them.

 _Act 3_

Latula was headed to some stairs—she suddenly leaped to the right and skated over some stone columns. Feferi replicated her actions and stayed on Latula's track, but Karkat's attempt ended in him hitting the tiled ruin floor with his face. Since Karkat is so obviously B4D at skating, we'll only focus on Feferi's progress. Once they were past the ruins, Latula grinded up the railing of another stairway, hopping between rails as the zombie-trolls passed glances.

At the top of the stairs, Feferi watched as Latula leapt onto a pillar over a deadly abyss. The pillar spun opposite of her direction, moving off its perch and slightly falling over. Feferi joined Latula on the pillar, and they readied to jump to the next before the platform completely fell. On the next platform, the girls had to jump spikes that rotated past them, and for the third platform, a Dry Lakitu dropped Spines which they had to jump.

The platform fell toward a rotted beanstalk laying in the toxic ooze, so that was the next thing to skate across. The stalk sunk under their weight, but they arrived at a series of standing stalks and had to jump up their large leaves (which naturally crumpled after their bounce). Afterwards, they grinded over a stone rail precariously perched on unstable columns. Segments of the rail broke off and fell either left or right, forcing Feferi to leap in the opposite direction to get back on track.

They got off on a ledge and skated up a hill, having to dodge around giant rolling skulls. At the top of the hill, they jumped over to the top of a right-angle pyramid, rolling down with rapid speed and dodging gravestones that popped up without warning. After reaching the bottom of the pyramid, they were still speeding along the ground with the accumulated momentum. They were skating to an arch-shaped ramp, going up the right side, coming down the left side, and rolling toward the right side of the pyramid. They shredded to a halt beside a palm tree where Terezi was sitting on the ground. (End song.)

"Th4t sk4t1ng w4s tot4lly R4D!" Latula praised. "You've won my r3sp3ct, F1shg1rl! W41t, wh4t h4pp3n3d to th4t oth3r guy?"

"Oh, yeah… Karkat." Feferi looked back and realized her friend was absent. "We kinda tore down the course, didn't we?"

Luckily, the Gummi Ship was hovering above them. Rays of light hit the ground and materialized Sora, Django, Kimaya, and Karkat. "Here they are!" Sora said.

"Why didn't we just use the damn ship to begin with…" Karkat said in exhaust. He clearly had several skating misadventures before he was picked up.

"Looks like you floundered Kimaya, too!" Feferi noticed.

"Yes, but we ran into Jones on the way." Django mentioned. "He was controlling that Hemera spirit."

"That's impossible! )(emera wouldn't let someone like Jones control )(er!"

"Well, he WAS!" Kimaya shouted. "We barely got away, but if ya want us ta come show ya…"

"W41t, 1 w4nn4 show you dud3s som3th1ng f1rst." Latula said. The skater girl approached a wall on the pyramid and pushed in a brick. A secret door opened. "T3r3z1 sn1ff3d th1s room out w1th h3r TOT4LLY R4D s3ns3 of sm3ll! Th3r3's 4 lot of zomb13s 1n h3r3 th4t look l1k3 you."

"Zombies that look like us?" Sora cocked a brow. "Let's check it out." They followed Latula into the chamber, but Karkat noticed Terezi remained sat before the tree.

"Terezi, what are you sitting there for? Aren't you coming?"

"…1…1 c4n't b3 4round h3r, K4rk4t."

"Oh, you think your ancestor is a pain in the ass, too?"

"No, K4rk4t. My 4nc3stor 1s just… so R4D. 1 f33l l1k3 4 d1sgr4c3 to our t34m. Sh3 c4n s33 4nd sh3 c4n shr3d l1k3 nobody's b33sw4x. Just look 4t h3r, K4rk4t… Wouldn't sh3 m4k3 4 W4Y b3tt3r t34mm4t3 th4n m3?"

"Terezi, quit acting like a dumbass. I came all the way out here to find YOU, not fucking LATULA. If there's one thing I learned from Kankri, it's that we shouldn't give a SHIT about what our ancestors were like. You're a BILLION times more 'RAD' than Latula will ever be."

"1 sm3ll 4 L13. You d1dn't 3v3n th1nk 1 d3s3rv3d to b3 l34d3r, K4rk4t."

"THAT'S because you were FUCKING CRAZY. But I'll take YOUR craziness over these OTHER dead crazy people. ESPECIALLY over these stupid humans."

"S1L3NC3!" Terezi whacked him with her cane. "Thos3 hum4ns 4r3 our ONLY HOP3, DUMB4SS! H4v3 you forgott3n?!"

"Sheesh, I was trying to compliment you…" When Terezi turned to face him, Karkat realized: "Hey, your eyes! They're… normal."

Indeed, her yellow eyes were neither blood-red and blind, nor zombified. "R1ght. S1nc3 1 4lr34dy d1dn't h4v3 3y3s wh3n 1 d13d, 1 gu3ss 4 gl1tch 1n th3 syst3m g4v3 m3 4ft3rl1f3 s1ght. Pr3tty r4d, r1ght?"

"I guess so. I mean, does it make much a difference?"

"N4h, but 1t f33ls good to s33 th1ngs 4g41n. But 1 don't w4nt you to th1nk 1 h4v3n't b33n h3lp1ng. Com3 s33 wh4t 1'v3 b33n do1ng." Terezi walked a short distance past the palm tree. At first, Karkat thought it was some sort of teal-painted hopscotch field, but Terezi actually designed it like Hivebent.

The drawing glowed and began to wobble suddenly. A figure rose from the teal and revealed to be April Goldenweek. "I finished painting the inside. So, who am I supposed to be waiting for, again?"


	25. The Universe Frog

**I may not focus much on this story until school is out.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-25: The Universe Frog_**

 **Planet Froast**

Thanks to the Zachsplosion, the frozen Universe Frog was now suspended in the air. It looked like a giant lollipop with the icy stem stuck into the ground from its mouth. Actually, the stick was stuck into the giant tongue of a statue of Patrick Star. Nebula, Jirachi, and Majora flew to the planet and set foot on the tongue below the frozen frog. "This is the Universe Frog, eh?" Nebula observed. "To be honest, it seems to be in the same family as the Encyclopod or Mobius Dick."

"Both creatures, like the Universe Frog, have existed before even this universe." Majora said. "We have called them the Cosmic MMajesties. The Universe Frog has long MMade home on Froast. And it is vital to your plan, as it was once vital in MMine."

"Care to elaborate?" Nebula cocked a brow.

"When I was banished to your universe, Sanula and I found that the Universe Frog had arrived in that dimension as well, albeit in a different form. When I escaped Sanula's grasp, I seized the Universe Frog and transformed him into a MMonster. I named the MMonster Gekko, and he was MMy devout servant. Or he was, before Cheren restored his previous form."

"I think Cheren would've mentioned restoring a deity frog."

"He probably thought little of the frog's importance. It was a lesser form with a lesser name: Don Gero."

"I know Don Gero!" Jirachi exclaimed. "The Star Spirits once told me about him. He's an eternal frog who teaches other frogs to sing. He's also a Bubble Dreamer. Nebula, this is what he looks like." The Star Child projected a hologram of a green, bearded frog with a bubble pipe in his mouth. (The readers may recognize him from previous stories.)

"So that old frog… is the Universe Frog?!" Nebula gazed from the hologram up to the Cosmic Majesty.

"Yes. And by some circumstances, he was sent from this world. The only question is, from which _time_ in this world? It could have been decided by your party. Regardless, I planned to use Gekko to create the universe I always wanted. But I assume you will want him to create your own universe."

"So, this is the secret to that… Then we better take him with us. Jirachi, miniaturize the Universe Frog."

 _"Yes, little rabbits. You are nearly at the hole to hide from the wolves. But the wolves are 10 steps ahead."_

"Who was that?!" exclaimed Jirachi.

Dimentio appeared beside the Universe Frog. "My dear, sweet niece! How delightful to see you again!"

"It's Dimentia!"

"No, Jirachi, it's my uncle. Dimentio." Nebula glared at the Darkness.

"Oh… That's the Dimentio Dimentia sometimes talked about."

"It will not be long before Lord English's rule is permanent." Dimentio smiled. "I have asked him to spare you, Nebula. You need only stand beside your uncle! …Of course, there is one more condition." He narrowed his eyes. "You see, I have abandoned the 'Winkiebottom' name. It just wasn't befitting for someone of my class. I must ask that you do the same."

"You really lost sight of who you used to be. How pathetic…" Nebula shook her head. "Then I shouldn't acknowledge you as my uncle, anymore. Can't feel guilty about doing THIS!" Nebula blasted twin Starbursts at Dimentio, smashing him against the frozen frog.

"Be careful!" yelled Majora. "The Universe Frog MMust be kept frozen!"

"Ahh, then we shouldn't be too reckless!" Dimentio beamed, forming vortexes around the frog and bombarding it with meteors.

Nebula warped Dimentio five miles away from the frog. "Jirachi, seal the black holes and repair the ice!" she commanded, the Firstborn granting her wishes.

Dimentio warped beside her and directly shot her with massive Starbursts, flying her a farther distance away. "I'm afraid your wish has been denied! Grandfather, destroy it!"

Majora looked up at the Universe Frog with surprise. The bearded shadow demon was suddenly above the frog, charging a massive flame in his hands. "If that is what you wish, my so-called 'superior'!"

Majora flew up to challenge the demon, but the zombified Sunni Chariton teleported in his way and sent him back down with a Psycho Sphere. "It's Senior Ziti-Sombie Zunni!" Nebula exclaimed. "Wow, that's a tongue-twister."

Majora recovered and grabbed Sunni in his whips, channeling Dark Chi along them to drain her power. Sunni blew up a bubble and escaped the bind, retaliating by shooting several Psycho Spheres at Zanifr (they each had a ghastly green aura around them due to the curse). "She is stronger than I anticipated. It seems I MMay not have to restrain MMyself." Majora sprouted four more arms from his body, each with black sabers. He batted the Psycho Spheres away and flew up to strike Sunni directly, only barely withheld by the latter's psychic grip.

Jirachi summoned a million shooting stars to rain upon Dimentio, who merely slurped them into a vortex. Nebula closed the vortex with her own bending and attacked him with Starbursts, Dimentio withstanding the attacks. "I know you're borrowing Jirachi's chi, otherwise I could easily absorb your attacks into my body." Dimentio said. "But my powers have multiplied by 256 thanks to Lord English!"

"So I heard." Nebula said with spite. "You stole the Multiverse Portal from Gravity Falls and you've been using it to destroy the universes. But even a Logia bender shouldn't be able to hold that much power."

"Indeed, any other bender would be blown out of existence. But you are facing the First Darkness! My power is just under Lord English's!"

"That proves nothing." Nebula smirked. "You may have abandoned your name, but you were still born a mortal. Mr. York killed you back then, and no matter how many times Lord English revives you, you'll never be able to deny who you are!"

"Oh ho, you are quite wrong, my dear. Because of my bond with the Multiverse Portal, my very being is Multidimensional. I exist in every known universe! If you destroy me, it is merely a tiny fraction of my entire being! But enough about me. Isn't there something you were supposed to be doing?"

Nebula gasped and whipped in the direction of the Universe Frog. Grandfather had made sufficient progress in melting the Cosmic Majesty. "I remember the days when I roasted little toads and forced children to eat them. I wonder how awful this one will-" A small, fast beam shot Grandfather and sent him to a distant floating polygon, exploding where it impacted. The four combatants gaped in surprise and looked where the beam came from.

"That's what I call a bull's-eye!" Chris Uno proclaimed, floating on rocket shoes.

"Chris!" Nebula exclaimed. "How did you know to find us?"

"I felt Grandfather's presence here! He may be a different version from mine, but his chi is extremely similar. Just leave kicking his ass to me." His rockets ignited as he flew in the demon's direction."

"And now the wild one has arrived." Dimentio smiled. "Just as Lord English predicted.

"Chris is gonna exterminate Grandfather easy!" Neb said confidently.

"I would not be boasting so early."

"Errrrgh…" Grandfather emerged from the crater in the polygon groggily.

"HEY, GRAMPS!" Chris was rocketing toward him like a comet. A red aura surrounded his body and formed horns over his head. Chris's skin was red and teeth were sharp. _"Wanna see how we rock in MY WORLD?!"_

Grandfather smirked with what little teeth he had. "Of all the unruly brats I've seen… I'll enjoy punishing you the MOST!" A massive flame erupted around his body. His open hands reached out and GRABBED Chris's fists, both pushing with equal, powerful pressure. Both demons shot Heat Vision, the lasers connecting and growing a sphere from their center, blowing the two apart. With flaming fists, Grandfather and great-grandson exchanged blows, before the elder stabbed Chris in the waist with a Fire Dagger.

 _"This man should be no challenge to you, Boy!" Malladus's voice rang from the boy's mind. "If you destroyed my son, then this pathetic clone should be nothing to you!"_

"Yeah, I'm trying." Chris charged a Mega Combustion Beam and fired numerous shots that Grandfather swiftly dodged. The demon formed flaming fans in his hands and tried to drill them into Chris, who blocked with his hands. Chris grunted at the scraping feeling on his palms, so he charged another Combustion Beam and fired, prompting Grandfather to let go and dodge.

Chris's rockets retracted and reappeared as smaller, blue flames. He did a flip and began poofing place-to-place at whipping speed, his aura-horns piercing Grandfather with each successful ram. When his horns pierced the elder's beard, he failed to deal damage, but the scraggly hair wrapped itself around Chris. "You'll only get WEAKER with age, boy!" Grandfather proclaimed, clasping the boy's head with glowing green hands. "But I will always be in my prime!"

 _"YAAAAAAH!"_ The demon was blown back by an explosion of Chris's fury. His aura took the form of a small version of Malladus's body. _"That beard tasted like dry SPAGHETTI!"_ Chris attacked Grandfather with more speed and fire, but the demon burst to knock him back, then made the air around Chris explode. Chris inhaled the smoke and spat rapid fire bullets at Grandfather's face. With the demon briefly distracted, Chris shot up and gnashed his teeth into Grandfather's chest.

"AAAAARGH! IT HURTS! GET OFF ME, you filthy MONSTER!" Grandfather desperately tried to pry Chris off.

 _He tastes so gross and rotten… I like it. I want more. I WANT MORE OF HIM!_

"AUGH! Get off, get off, GET OFF! !" Grandfather stabbed Chris repeatedly with a knife of fire. Chris's grip weakened, so Grandfather seized the chance to punch him off. The elder panted, clutching the bite mark. "There is no child in my world, more annoying, more vicious, than you. Why, you're even more evil than _me_."

 _"I'm just like any other demon. Are you even a demon, old man? Or just some super-powered adult? If you are, then I should be able to kill you easy!"_

"I see now there is no point in trying to discipline you. The only way to teach you is with DEATH!" The wiggling points on Grandfather's bottom grew and shrouded the area in shadow. Chris looked around and was surrounded by dozens of Grandfather's hands, brimming green with the intent of Agifying the boy.

 **With the others**

"Hm hm hm… it sounds quite violent over there." Dimentio smiled. "Your friend must not be fairing as well as you hoped. And as for you… well, I honestly expected more."

The grueling battle left Nebula and even Jirachi with several wounds. "I suppose even Jirachi's power is weak to the fury of the multiverse. And you thought I would be easier than Thanos!"

 _He's right… Dimentio is too powerful. I can't risk Jirachi's life like this, not when the planets still need us. This calls for a hasty escape…_ "Jirachi, I wish Dimentio was a trillion light-years away!"

"ON IT!" Jirachi quickly flashed his ribbons and warped Dimentio away.

"Now I wish we and the Universe Frog were outside Hivebent!"

"Here we go!" Jirachi channeled a greater burst of magic to teleport himself, Nebula, and the entire frozen entity.

"Did not care enough to rescue _MMe_ , hmmmm?" Majora inquired, using his four sabers to push up against Sunni's crushing psychic bubble. "Well, as long as the Universe Frog is safe." He blasted twin dark lasers from his eyes to push the psychic off him. He looked around for a moment. "I'MM surprised Dimentio hasn't come back, yet. Warping a trillion light-years should be nothing to him. Unless…" He turned to where Chris and Grandfather's battle was transpiring. "Sigh… We're just playing right into their game." He shook his head.

 **Matter Space**

Vanellope, Carol, and Kanaya flew to a seemingly blank region of space on a digital ship downloaded from Carol's computer. They landed on a shiny, purplish silver platform before the ship de-digitized. "Here We Are! Matter Space."

"Matter Space?" Carol asked confusedly. "Sorry, I just thought there would be more… matter."

"Is that what's the matter with Matter Space?" Vanellope joked.

"Ha Ha! There's Plenty Of Matter Here, But It's All Stored Away Inside These Things." Kanaya walked up to a round thing attached to a thin stem. She karate-chopped it, and the switch broke into particles that all formed into massive platforms with structures that towered over them.

"WHOOOA!" Carol gawked in awe.

"The People In This Region Have Advanced Technology. So Advanced That They Have To Hide Their Own Matter! We'll Only Have A Few Minutes To Get Through Each Area."

"Then let's quit wasting time and get to it!" Carol cheered. (Play "Footlight Lane" from _Mario 3-D World_!)

 _Stage F-19: Land of Matter and Making_

 _Mission: Borrow the advanced technology of this region!_

Kanaya hit the switch again to restart the timer. The girls hopped up a stairway of square platforms that led onto the first large ground. Trees and flowers with the same chrome texture were growing, and humanoid creatures with polygon heads inhabited this area. "These People Are The Particans. They're Always Changing Shape." Kanaya said. On one side of the area, there was a series of floating chrome objects that molded and changed shape. They stretched from flat platforms to tall platforms, but the tall spots rose out of a different spot on the flat platform each time, and missing the chance would result in a plummet.

The girls made it up to the next level, where they were ambushed by Longators and Flatigators, which were colorful rectangle and flat circle creatures respectively. The Flatigators slithered under their feet and thrusted up stubby fists to punch them, and the Longators stretched and whacked them with their necks. Kanaya drew an ordinary ChapStick—it morphed into a chainsaw that she swung to slice the Longators.

"WHOA!" Vanel exclaimed, doing rapid kicks over other Longators' necks. "You have a chainsaw in your ChapStick?!"

"It's My Makeupkind! I Love Catching Enemies Off Guard With It!"

"Just don't slip it with my NORMAL ChapStick." Carol stated, squirting a Game-and-Watch flamethrower from her laptop against a Flatigator. When the enemies were dealt with, a set of platforms became available, leading them up to a platform with another switch. Kanaya whacked it, and another chrome structure formed from the scattered matter. It was a tall, wide tower, and spiked platforms led up to it. They would mold between spiked and rounded tops, and the girls crossed when they were spiked. (Just kidding, you know how to platform.) To their right was a bonus path with a Catch Card. The spiked platforms were vertical and required Wall Jumping. Vanellope had the honor and claimed the Catch Card. It held a boy named Jeremy, who had yellow hair and glasses.

"Ooo, this guy's kinda cute!" Vanel said.

"Ha ha! Thanks, but I'm already seeing someone." Jeremy blushed.

"It's 'cause I'm a Computer Program, right?" Vanel glared.

"What? No, not at all!"

"Sure." Vanel put him away.

The trio arrived at the tower and saw platforms molding in and out of various parts of it. As they were jumping up the platforms, there were small hill-shaped spots on the side. These were actually Snapdragon holes, and like the normal ones, these chrome versions would mold out of their holes for a bite. At the top of the tower, the girls faced a series of open circles leading to a platform. They could stand in the bottom interior of the circles, but the circles' matter would compress into the center, shrink away, and reform the matter from the edges. The compressing matter would crush the girls if they lingered, so they jumped circles quickly. They landed in a tunnel of circles and ran through as the matter compressed behind them in a pattern, and they successfully arrived at a new switch.

With a simple whack, a field materialized for them to walk on, with many floating bars above it. There was a Partican with bendy, flexible arms with fingers that looked like farming hoes. His head jiggled as he talked. _"Single-formed beings! Perhaps you can help me. One of the Mabbits has stolen my carrot/cabbage/_ _hors d'oeuvre/other. I would catch it myself, but the matter that makes up my back seems to be a billion years older than me."_

"What's a Mabbit?" Carol asked.

They heard droplet sounds and saw that droplet-shaped creatures with rabbit ears were hopping into and between the bars, which in turn wobbled like water. "I'll show you what a single-formed being can do!" Vanellope used glitchwarps to chase the Mabbits, grabbing the poles to recharge herself. She caught two different Mabbits that had nothing, caught one of those same ones, and the third Mabbit spat out a chrome vegetable that constantly changed shape.

The Partican wiggled over to absorb it in his being. _"Ahh, them's good and molecular. Ah reckon Ah'll help you out, partners. How's about I get you up there?"_ His body morphed into a spiraling path that winded up to a higher ground. Parts of the path winded like DNA, but the trio could run up as one flat segment seemed to flow up fast. They went up through a hole and set foot on the new area. A bulb was hanging over the edge via a stem. Kanaya cut it off, and the bulb bounced across midair, making splatted matter platforms. The girls followed it before the drop spots would scatter.

It led them to another large ground as the droplet bounced under it. It was their chance to step off, but Vanellope stopped them, having noticed the drop come back out and bounce downward. It stopped at a Catch Card, which Vanellope jumped down to grab before jumping back up. The card contained a red-hatted boy named Tucker Foley. "Is that a girl with a computer?!" Tucker exclaimed, noticing Carol. "This day just keeps getting better!"

"Geek Squad is in here, dude." Vanellope stashed him in with Jeremy. On this new ground, a Parti-Blargg rose out of the chrome. It spat goblets of solid liquidy chrome, the girls dodging as Carol materialized a large Game-and-Watch hammer to repeatedly bash the Blargg. The blob got flatter and flatter until it was totally one with the ground.

"Where are we supposed to go from here?" Carol asked.

"Get On!" yelled Kanaya, standing over the flattened Blargg. The others joined, and the spot jiggled for a moment before the Blargg sprung back up and flung them to a higher platform. The switch was below and away from the platform, so Vanellope had the honor of jumping and kicking it. She ended up going down a quick-forming chrome slide, her friends jumping after before it was too late. They had to pay sharp attention and make careful turns on the forming slide. "Whoa-oa-oooa!" they moaned during a part where the slide arched a few times. Finally, the slide led onto a wide part, which quickly materialized into a large, populace island with chrome houses and more Particans.

"The Material We Need Is In A Storage Up Those Stairs." Kanaya pointed to a tall stairway across the village. "We're Almost There."

"You seem like you know this place pretty well." Carol commented as they walked.

"I Was A Frequent Visitor Before The Apocalypse Hit. Since I'm A Tech Geek, I Fiddle Around With The Equipment Here, But I Could Never Figure Out How It Works. And Something Tells Me You Guys Could Help."

"Couldn't you ask one of the people here?"

"The Actual Smarticans Are Never Around. My Theory Is That They Evolved To A More Complex Stature To Where They Abandoned Their Old Equipment. Nothing Makes Sense In Paradox Space, So Who Knows."

They found a switch at the top of the stairs, and when hit, it materialized a large building. The entrance had three doorknobs, and when the girls readied to turn them together, Mabbits suddenly leapt out of them, holding chrome keys in their mouths. The doorknobs turned to keyholes and the Mabbits bounced toward town. "NOT AGAIN! Quick, Catch Those Mabbits!" Kanaya shouted. (Play "Bunny Chasing" from _Super Mario Galaxy_!)

The trio sprinted down the stairs to town and split up as the Mabbits did. Carol saw one of the shifty creatures go into a house. The inside of the house was small with average things like shelves and plants. She opened all the drawers until one of them triggered a transformation of the décor. Now in the form of a kitchen, Carol opened the microwave and the fridge, finding nothing. She could move a chrome chair to stand on and reach the cabinets or the freezer. She checked the cabinets first and got a Catch Card, but inside the freezer, she hit a switch to change the house again. Now it was a pet room; a chrome bird rested in a cage, a cat on some folded laundry, and a dog outside his house. …Suspicious, Carol peeped in the doghouse and SNATCHED the Mabbit, yanking the key off its form.

Kanaya chased her Mabbit to a tall secluded tree. She sliced the tree with her chainsaw, dividing it into two trees. She sliced both, creating four trees, which she cut into eight trees, and when they were at their smallest at 16 trees, she saw the bunny's ears sticking out of one. She grabbed the shifty creature and stole its key.

Vanellope chased a Mabbit up and across some roofs, then up some platforms that brought her to a field above the village. The field had several gaping holes that the bunny was swiftly hopping around, but Vanellope could catch up by glitching over the holes. She was careful to avoid falling, and after several shortcuts in this fashion, she snatched the Mabbit and reclaimed the key! The friends regrouped and returned to the storage building. Their keys morphed into doorknobs at the keyholes, and the girls could enter. (End song.)

The storage was dark and quiet inside, and the light was provided by some of the strange devices. Kanaya first walked up to a blue orb protected by two black rings that rotated around it. "Chronium Core. Made From Compressed Time Chi That Promise A Trillion-Year Life Span For Any Device." She picked up a cube with a highly reflective surface. "Polimite Cube. Stuff This In Your Noggin And You Can View The Multiverse Like A Window. Of Course, This Is Mostly Going By Textbooks."

"Sounds like all this stuff is really complicated." Carol said. "Are you sure we can help you with it? I don't even think _Emily_ will know how to work with it."

 **Planet Ore**

Emily had suddenly caught an unexplainable cold, shivering on the ground. "My intelligence… has been compromised…"

 **Back to Matter Space**

"I Remember When You Said Vanellope Worked With The Zoni." Kanaya said as she led them further. "Since I've Never Finished Developing Them, You Must Have Interacted With The Future Versions. Which Means You Must Have Seen Their Coding!"

"Yeah, but it was pretty confusing." Vanellope replied.

"But If I Were To Make A Guess, The Coding You've Seen Must Have Come From This Computer!" Kanaya showed them a small, ordinary chrome laptop on a small desk. "It May Not Look Like Much, But This Computer Is Beyond Mortal Understanding. If Vanellope Can Understand It, This May Be The Key To Completing The Zoni!"

"Why would I wanna help _complete_ those annoying things, anyway?"

"Didn't the Zoni kinda initiate the whole quest and help you a TON on your adventures?" Carol recalled. "I mean, I wasn't there, just going by what others told me."

Vanel sighed. "Well, I did get my memory back and join Sector V thanks to them. 'Guess I owe them…"

"Technically, They Will Be The Ones Who Owe _You_." Kanaya winked.

"Ah! That makes it better! Alright, let's go in!" Vanellope zipped into the laptop.

"Time for Act 2?" Carol asked.

"I Don't Think Our Software Can Process What's In There!" Kanaya joked.

 **Land of Living Dead**

Latula led Sora, Feferi, Kimaya, and Django to the bottom of the secret passage. The five overlooked a massive, torchlit chamber packed with Inferi. There was Danny Jackson, Rumpel Stiltskin, Tallests Red and Purple, and hundreds more from around the multiverse. It would be safe to assume not all the Inferi were down here.

"So, this is where all those zombies have been." Django said. "I thought Viridi captured them all."

"Yes, the Inferi were supposed to be contained." A woman's voice hissed. They whipped right towards the zombie of Bellatrix Lestrange. "But somehow, against Lord English's wishes, they have landed here. And that arrogant fool ordered I, the great Voldemort, to be their watchdog!"

"You ain't no Voldemort, lady!" Kimaya retorted.

"You're wrong. With no body of my own, I have possessed Bellatrix's Inferius. She made no attempts to resist… The simple fool."

"Well, you're not gonna be in her for long!" Sora declared, drawing his Keyblade.

"You don't want to oppose _me_ , boy. Not when I am so _generously_ willing to provide you aid."

"Yeah." Sora eye-rolled. "Aid for Lord English."

"Then allow me to clarify. Earlier, I was at the Land of Wind and Shade. The vessel I was possessing breathed Typheus' Winds of Truth. And when I did, a disturbing vision appeared in my mind. For a moment, I was Lord English, and I saw what type of horrible world he has been constructing. I decided… that I want nothing to do with it. Why, if the other Darknesses could see what I have seen, they would feel the same."

"Ooo, if you rebellin', I'm up for that!" Kimaya smiled.

"Me, too!" Django nodded.

"Wait a sec, we can't trust him!" Sora stated. "Even if he wanted to betray him, Lord English would see it coming."

"It's true." Feferi said. "Although, if he breathed the Winds of Truth, )(e might be serious."

 _"Actually, I'm over here!"_ Sirius Black called from the Inferi crowd.

"I do not care what fate befalls you," Voldemort said, "but I will not let Lord English do what he wishes with me. For reasons I do not understand, he despises ghosts and spirits. If these Inferi were shed of their artificial forms, I wonder what effect it would have on His Lordship. AAAH!" He was suddenly hit by a gush of water, falling partway down the stairs to the Inferi crowd.

"So, there be a TRAITOR in our mist-ah!" Davy Jones descended from a hole in the ceiling via a Water Kraken. "You're no good to us dead, Voldemort."

"INCENDIO ENGORGIO!" Voldemort countered with a giant flame, turning some of Jones' water into steam, but the Pirate Emperor easily withstood and grabbed the wizard in liquid tentacles.

"Should we get involved?" Kimaya wondered.

"It's not like either of them can die." Django said. "Let's get outta here!"

They raced back up the stairs and discovered Karkat and Terezi battling Kurloz Makara. "IF YOU'RE READY TO LEAVE, I'M WITH YOU!" Karkat shouted.

"1 C4N'T L34V3! NOT Y3T!" Terezi hissed. "1'll com3 b4ck to l1f3 wh3n th3 t1m3 com3s. Just tak3 K1m4y4 4nd r3turn. 4nd wh4t3v3r you do, DON'T L3T CH3R3N BR34TH3 TH3 W1NDS OF TRUTH!"

 **Hivebent**

Things were quiet and ordinary outside of Hivebent. No one would suspect, that in a split second, a giant frozen frog with galaxies inside would splorp just outside the entrance. Jirachi minimized the entity as they brought it inside. "Yuzu, clear space in the freezer, we have a Universe Frog fresh from the crater!"

"Oh, my!" Yuzu jogged up to the frog with interest. "I wonder how well something like this would taste?"

"Before we worry about eating it, let's worry about how it'll help us save the universe." Karin said.

"Excuse me, but, didn't Majora go with you?" Wendy asked.

"Sorry, I kinda forgot to take him with us." Jirachi frowned.

"It's okay, Jirachi. Though I can't help but feel concerned… Majora should be able to warp with his darknessbending." Nebula thought aloud. "As a matter of fact, we left Chris back there, too."

"You saw Chris?!" Maddy overheard. "He just decided to leave without warning us. What was he doing?"

"Grandfather tried to destroy the Universe Frog, but Chris showed up to fight him. We were also attacked by Dimentio."

"Could you take me to where he is?"

"Sure. Hey, make sure the Universe Frog stays frozen." Nebula instructed the others. "Use Suki's icebending if you need to. …Actually, speaking of Chris, where has Cheren been?"

"Vvrisk has taken Cher and Ner on a mission of their own." Eridan answered. "They are headed to our home planet, Alternia, to rescue Aze, Mes, and Ux. …But there is a flaww in their plan… a flaww I presumed Vvrisk kneww about."

 **Close to Alternia's atmosphere**

"Ha ha ha! I can't believe I finally get to see Alternia!" Cheren smiled brightly as he soared across space with Vriska and Nerehc. "And I bet you're happy to see your homeworld again."

"Ehh, I could take it or leave it, to 8e quite honest. 8ut the others can't live without it, so what can ya do? That 8rings up a question, Cheren… Assuming we weren't a8le to 8eat Lord English, and we had to su8mit to his rule and all, how would you feel a8out that?"

"The hell I will! I'll tear him apart inside-out or lose a hundred lives trying!"

"Just remember those lives are mine, buddy." Nerehc stated. "And I don't feel like losing.

"I already figured TH8T!" Vriska laughed. "8ut like, what if we could live in _peace_ under his rule? If surrendering would be easier _and_ less costing?"

"You're funnier than I thought you were, Vriska!" Cheren grinned. "Then sure, I'll submit to Lord English! Right after I concede to Panini as the better Pokémon Champion!"

"Hee hee hee! Just felt like hearing it from you! 8esides, it'll 8e a major step in our game after we rescue Azelf."

"Shouldn't we have brought the Guardians for Mesprit and Uxie, too?" Nerehc inquired. "They're all on the same world, right?"

"Yes, 8ut I didn't think we should 8e too risky. Alternia is… not the same as it used to 8e. You remem8er me saying how time moves differently for people in this universe? And the Darknesses used that to their advantage as they took over? This is no different."

"Is that it?" Cheren asked when he spotted a burning red planet.

The trio soared through the atmosphere and halted above the planet's skies. The twins' mouths were agape in horror: the beautiful landscape from Vriska's stories of the planet were aflame, despair and agony rang from the world's inhabitants. Trolls and angels alike, especially the angels, were tortured and enslaved by the vicious demons that had settled in. Flags that bore the conqueror's demonic visage blew in the dark wind, and a black castle of doom and darkness towered over all.

"Ganondorf has taken over our world…"

In the darkest depths of the castle sat the Great King of Evil, basking in the world's misery. Behind him was a massive egg colored blue, pink, and yellow.

"…and turned it into New Hell."


	26. Nerdvana

**You remember when everyone fought the Brotherhood of Evil in the Firstborn Saga? That was somewhat of a prelude to this whole story. Speaking of which…**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-26: Nerdvana_**

 **Alternia; Ganon's Castle**

Ganon placed a hand on the Egg Chamber behind his throne. "Azelf, Mesprit, and Uxie are the three goddesses who created Hyrule." he thought aloud. "But in Hyrule legend, they are known as Din, Farore, and Nayru respectively. The three worked under Goddess Hylia to create a beautiful, vibrant kingdom. And Hylia sacrificed her immortal form to be reborn as a mortal as a pathetic means to prove to Demise that their race is 'superior.' Of course, Hylia herself was a nonexistent goddess. She is never acknowledged by the true gods. The stories of Hyrule died with their kingdom!"

"Reminds me of Egypt." said Truman Zorc, twirling Lola Stork's card in his fingers. "Anyway, it seems that Grandfather fled his battle with Chris. The boy was more powerful than he feared."

"Well, it seems I can't enact Bill's plan, yet. Wait for the boy to beat Grandfather to near death, jump in and slay him with my Devil's Sword, and absorb Grandfather's life force and power. Then, with his Agifying power in my hand, I would have control of Sunni, and through her control the Firstborn, Mew. Of course, I would have already destroyed Grandfather were it not for the Universal Law."

"'Nothing Beats the Original.'" Zorc recalled. "The very reason Grandfather was an excellent match against Chris. Chris comes from an alternate version of Grandfather's world, and Originals are meant to be superior to their parallels. Unfortunately, the Gameverse was so uniquely structured that it bears its own brand of originality. Its very existence breaks several laws, according to Bill."

"I should be proud to come from such a unique world." Ganon smirked. "Were I sentimental enough, I would join the Kids Next Door against Lord English. But only one thing matters to me: destroying the Hero of Time! And won't this be a _perfect_ way to do it!"

"Yes, they'll be coming very soon. While Ghirahim keeps the Backup Army organized, I must fulfill my own role. DIO!"

The Vampire Lord stepped out of the darkness in the doorway. "You called?"

"Forgive me, but I must ask you to do something out-of-character." Zorc walked forth and raised Lola's card to DIO. "Just once, for a brief moment, I would like you to lose."

 **The Burning Lands**

Cheren, Nerehc, and Vriska set foot on the kingdom outskirts. The sky was red and the parts of the earth that were not burning orange were black and dead. Ganon's Castle glistened with a lovely dark and red aura, swirling around the home of the Evil King. "You sure you 8oys don't wanna just fly there?" Vriska asked.

"We don't mind wiping out a few demons as a warm-up!" Nerehc smirked.

"Your time has come, Ganon!" Cheren cheered. "Today is the day we beat you FOR GOOD!" (Play "Melty Monster Galaxy" from _Mario Galaxy 2_!)

 _Stage F-20: Land of Beginnings and Endings_

 _Mission: Get to Ganon's Castle!_

 _Act 1: Burning Lands_

The journey started at a burning hill. Fire Snakes formed from the flames, but single hits from Cheren's Ice Arrows could douse them. Giant Fire Keese flapped up from over the hills, raining fire upon the child gods. Vriska projected a psychic cover to defend them, then pushed the cover up against the Keese with great force to send them skyward. They hurried to the top of the hill, overlooking the burning valley of demons.

"See you at the bottom!" Cheren laughed as he leapt on his Mirror Shield and surfed down the hill. Moblin spotted him and lashed their silver spears, but Cheren nimbly evaded the attacks. He surfed along the right of a fire field, then on the left of another one, then as he surfed between two lines of Lizalfos, he spun around and SLICED them up! He went off a ledge into a ravine, landing on a Stalhorse during a stampede. Bokoblin rode close to him on their own horses to attack, but he effortlessly whacked the demons off.

Cheren saw a path to the left and steered that way, going out of the ravine and up a narrow trail over a lava river. Small wood bridges connected parts of the trail, but warships shot and destroyed them from the lava, so Cheren prompted his horse to jump those gaps. The path led to safe land, and the horse halted before a tall cliff. Dead tree branches grew around the cliff, easy for Cheren to Hookshot his way up. Boulders fell from above, threatening to either break the branches or hit him mid-Hookshot. "Ha ha! I really miss doing levels the classic way! 'Course, if I fell here with no way back up, I could just fly. The real challenge will be the battles."

At the top of the cliff, Cheren was ambushed by 10 Silver Lizalfos. The lizards were swift and dealt quick jabs with their spears, but Cheren's golden flames could counter them easily. He chucked the Mirror Shield at a few monsters as it bounced back, then he shot over to slice them twice. One last Lizalfos scampered up to him, but Nerehc slaughtered it with a few airwaves of his Deity Sword. "You don't make catching up to you easy!"

"You shoulda brought a shield! Race ya through the Flaming Forest!" The twins bolted toward a forest, its trees composed of no leaves, but more fire. Several trees fell and created a maze of fire, and as the heroes navigated it, Darknuts jumped out and attacked with flaming swords. "Geez, use a different element, why don'tcha?" Cheren said, casually blocking their attacks and slicing their armor like paper. "Ganon needs to get more creative!"

Nerehc finished the Darknuts off with his Deity Sword. "How about a little wind, for starters?" He charged power in his blade and slashed a series of trees, clearing them out of the way. They rushed out into an open field, greeted by the lovely sight of a fireball storm. They stylishly dodged every one, though Cheren couldn't help but bat some fireballs into others.

Vriska flew over them, using a psychic bubble for protection, and said, "Ganon's not gonna take you seriously if you keep playing around!"

"We're just training for the obvious tennis game he's gonna make us do!"

"Excuse me?"

"He means that Ganon usually makes an energy ball that we hit back and forth at each other." Nerehc clarified.

At the edge of the field, the boys jumped over a chasm, Cheren throwing open his Pirate Sail and Nerehc using Rocket Boost. Walls of fire erupted from the darkness, but they could fly through openings and make it to the other side. "Whoa, what's this?" Cheren asked in disgust.

They stood before some kind of marsh with black and purple, goopy substance. Orange eyeballs grew from the marsh, brimming once they saw the intruders. Demons emerged from the darkness and headed to attack them, and no matter how many the heroes slew, more demons of darkness came out. _"Master Cheren, scans indicate a similar chi from this marsh to that of Ganon. My past records read this substance as 'Gasma,' and I strongly advise against touching it."_ Fi spoke.

"Ew, so this junk is like Ganon's vomit?!" Nerehc gagged.

 _"A somewhat accurate presumption, Nowhere Near As Awesome As Master Nerehc."_

"Then I bet it wouldn't last against Light Arrows!" Cheren loaded three Light Arrows for each shot, clearing up massive portions of Gasma. Nerehc sliced demons and protected him as they progressed through the marsh. They found a clearing in the Gasma, but they were ambushed by three Silver Lynel (centaurs with white and black stripes and black manes).

The Lynels fired Shock Arrows, the twins dividing as they attacked their own Lynel. The middle Lynel tried to shoot Cheren, but Vriska grabbed his neck in psychic and forcefully twisted. "Not the time, Four Legs!"

Nerehc rode a Lynel's back and rapidly stabbed it, the creature unable to shake him. Cheren flew like a comet around his Lynel, slashing every corner of the beast. He did a flip above the Lynel's head, chopped down, and split its body like a banana peel. "Time to move on!" Cheren cheered, blasting through more Gasma. They cut down more demons as they arrived at a ruined town. There were a couple large buildings fairly close to each other, but beyond them were the small remains of houses.

"This…This place…" Vriska stared.

"Oh… It's Gray Garden." Cheren's eyes were drawn to the arched sign: **_RED GARDEN_**. "Ganon…" Cheren showed his first sign of anger since his encounter with English. "I'll kill you!"

"This sounds a little personal now." Nerehc noticed. "Whatever. I'm with you!"

Vriska watched as they flew around and sliced every last demon in the town, including the once-innocent butterflies and bees corrupted by evil. Vriska almost wondered where all her old classm8s were, or if they were still alive. "…Hm hm hm. You 8oys sure know how to have a good time. Come on, Ganon's Castle is just over there! Wanna give him what he deserves?"

"You bet!" Cheren turned cheery again. "At this rate, nothing he throws is gonna take us down!"

The team of three raced across the field of burning flowers, and before long they would arrive at the dark castle. They crossed a stone bridge over a lava river, and they would cross one final field, composed of paved walkways and statues. Somebody was there to greet them. "It's about time you arrived." Ghirahim said. (End song.)

"Whoa! It's the gay white guy!" Cheren exclaimed.

"So, my former master and my current master's nemesis are here together. Against all odds and obstacles, you managed to fight your way here! Unfortunately, Ganon is not welcoming visitors at the moment. You'll have to have your showdown at a later date."

"So, Ganon is really afraid of us, huh?" Nerehc smirked. "That's actually a bit encouraging!"

"Well, maybe we'll leave Ganon alone for now if he lets us have Azelf!" Cheren said perkily.

"Heh heh heh… Even if we would let you have Azelf, it seems you came unprepared. The Triforce Trio are quite different from the other Firstborn. I'm sure your gray-skinned friends must have told you."

"Told us what?" Cheren asked Vriska.

"8eats me…"

"I see… hm hm hm." Ghirahim snickered. "At any rate, my master did not want to disappoint you, so he's called in a few friends to entertain you! Courtesy of Lord English…"

"Whoever Ganon sends, we'll destroy!" Nerehc declared.

"Excellent!" Ghirahim danced away from them. "Then may I present, the ENTIRE Backup Army!" He threw his arms open toward the castle. " **NERDVANAAAAAA**!"

Hearing the name triggered baffled expressions on Cheren and Nerehc. When they viewed in the castle's direction, they just now noticed an army, raising flags that bore either Bill or English's likeness. They were all distinctly different, and chanted their song in unison.

 _"Load up on guns and bring your friends!"_ The Backup Army officers led the army: Dio Brando, Millennium Earl, Sephiroth, Esdeath, Ragyō Kiryūin, and Dark Oak.

 _"It's fun to lose and fun to pretend!"_ Bowser Koopa and King K. Rool had arms around the other. Dr. Eggman flew above them on his pod, alongside three other Dr. Robotniks.

 _"Hello, hello, hello, how low?"_ Gruntilda marched beside the Wicked Witch of the West, Maleficent, and the White Witch.

 _"Hello, hello, hello, how low?"_ Capital B put an arm around Grunty, but she socked him in the nose.

 _"With the lights out… IT'S LESS DANGEROUS!"_ The Joker climbed atop Darkseid's head, holding a baton. _"Here we are now… ENTERTAIN US!"_ He jumped down on DIO's shoulders, making him infuriated before jumping off. 

_"I feel stupid… AND CONTAGIOUS!"_ Dr. Nefarious, Specter, Mr. Dark, and Plankton sang together.

 _"Here we are now… entertain us!"_ Fire Lord Ozai marched beside Zaheer, Unalaq, and Vlad Plasmius.

"I…I recognize some of them." Cheren said. "The members of Team Gnaa and Team Gnik!"

"Open your eyes!" Nerehc stated. "Those aren't the ones YOU know, they're Originals! I bet they're ALL Originals!"

"CORRECT!" Ghirahim jumped. "And together, their combined Power Levels are beyond compare!"

 _"And I forget just why I taste…"_ Stewie Griffin was clutching a ray gun, scowling with the maliciousness he once had. Behind him were The Hacker and Maximus.

 _"Oh yeah! I guess it makes me smile!"_ Trigon, Hades, Aku, and the Nightmare Wizard were the giants who marched in the back. (It was the Hades from _Kid Icarus_.)

 _"I found it hard, it was hard to find!"_ Jessie, James, and Meowth were joyfully singing on their hot-air balloon.

 _"Oh, well… whatever, never mind."_ Chase Young walked beside X.A.N.A., Magneto, and Slade.

The army chanted its final "Hello, how low" as Ghirahim slid out of their way. They halted just ten feet before the heroes.

The Joker danced to the front of the parade and tipped his top-hat. "This scene is brought to you by the nerdy minds behind _The Lego Batman Movie_! Please, have a nerdtastic orgasm!"

Cheren and Nerehc burst with power and blew straight through the center of the army. The Millennium Earl, having been the first in the line, tried to block them using his umbrella, skidding along the ground from their force. Bowser headbutted the duo into K. Rool's belly, and the Kremling King held them in place while Sephiroth severely sliced them. They broke free as Nerehc rapidly swung at him, but the boy was squashed under Darkseid's fist, and the giant got off in time for Slade and Chase Young to beat him on the ground.

Cheren escaped from the crowd and flew to take down the titans, but Hades swiftly snatched him in his fist and SLAMMED him against the ground. Trigon burned Cheren with heat vision, Nightmare unveiled his tornado to drill him, then the Eggmen flew above Cherry to bombard him with guns. They ceased and watched as Cheren's wounds self-healed. "Like I'm letting YOU freaks get the best of me!" Cheren drew his bow and shot rapid Light Arrows at Nightmare, but Hades and Trigon combined their beams and burned him against the ground.

When the lasers stopped, DIO zipped over and grabbed Cheren's left arm. "We know that your God form makes you immortal… but a useless vermin like you still feels PAIN!" DIO froze Cheren's arm and SHATTERED it in his hands.

"OOOOOWWW!"

"CHEREN!" Nerehc rushed to help him—Maleficent zapped him back with purple lightning. The boy countered with firebending (his flames were a normal orange, since he was robbed of Ganon's darkness), but before he could go after Cheren, Darth Vader jumped in the way. The Sith Lord swung his lightsaber in such graceful fashion, even Nerehc's Deity Sword couldn't get around. "EAH!" Ragyō wrapped him up in red strings, which began to burrow into his clothes.

"That garb is truly atrocious! Won't you rather die in something more beautiful?"

"AGH! HELP! She's beautifying me! !" Nerehc cried as the fibers wove into large pink flowers on his cloak and fluffy, color-patterned sleeves. "VRISKA, get us out of here! Vriska?! Where is she?!"

Cheren blasted a stream of golden fire from his right hand, forcing DIO to defend. Cheren rocketed skyward, his fire spreading to burn other villains. _"RRAAAAHH!"_ Andross ambushed and chomped Cheren in his mouth. The floating head munched and crunched the tasty gold lunch, then he spit Cheren in Aku's direction. The demon snatched him, twisted Cheren's head, and bent his side. He afterwards handed Cheren to Hades, the Lord of the Underworld munching his legs.

"Yuck, terrible!" Hades taunted before throwing him on the ground. The White Witch stabbed Cheren's leg, turning it to stone, then Grunty cast a spell to break it. At that point, his chopped arm was glowing and growing back.

"His arm, his arm, it returns!" Grunty exclaimed. "Is he impossible to burn?"

"Only a noble sacrifice can destroy a God Tier." DIO said with his merciless smirk. "We may very well be wasting our time… because this boy's punishment will be _anything_ but noble!"

"UGH!" Cheren lashed a fire whip to push the villains back, but Vlad Plasmius and Ozai grabbed him, then Slade and Chase bashed him with spiked bo staffs.

 _"Hahahahaha, HAHAHAHAHA!"_ Judge Doom cackled wildly as he approached Cheren with a buzzsaw arm, showing nothing but madness in his eyes.

"Oh, my!" Joker gasped. "THAT man is more mad than I AM! …Grab a front-row seat, Harley! Heads are about to roll!" He watched delightedly as Judge Doom showed Cheren true pain.

 **Hivebent**

Vriska had returned to the base, shooting in like a psychic rocket, desperately gasping for breath. There were burn marks and scratches on her body. "Vvris! Wwhat happened?!" Eridan asked.

"I 8rought Cheren and Nerehc to Alternia! They wanted to rescue Azelf and challenge Ganon! We were almost at the castle, but the 8ackup Army am8ushed us! Even despite our power, we couldn't 8eat them. I knew I had to escape and get help! Hurry, we have to go and help them!"

"Ch-Cheren is having trouble?" Panini asked in surprise. "But, he's God Tier. Nothin' can beat him now."

"That must 8e why Ganon had them w8ing for us, to even the odds. And right now, the 8ackup Army is testing to see just how unkilla8le Cheren is. …I don't think he's gonna look good tomorrow."

"Everyone to your ships!" Aurora ordered. "We're flying straight for Alternia and helping them!"

"You really think we can take on the Backup Army?" Dillon asked.

"We have the cruddy Firstborn to help us!" Panini shouted. "Stop making excuses and GET TA SAVING CHEREN!" She bolted toward the hangar.

"Ugh, she's right. Let's get going!" Dillon pulled up his hood, his serious eyes glowing in its shade.

"Not without me, you aren't!" Nolan stated. "This old man's got enough strength for another villain army war!"

"Well, this is what we asked for." Anthony spoke confidently. "Let's take 'em down, Michelle!"

"I'm coming, too!" Wendy declared.

Morgiana had been standing in the hallway entrance when she overheard the commotion. She quickly raced back to Feferi's room where Nagisa hid under the covers of the water bed. "Nagisa, Cheren is in trouble. The operatives are all going to rescue him. We should go, too."

"I…I can't, Morg. I don't know who I am, anymore. I-I always thought I was a boy, but I…I can't remember ever being one. I was so mad at my mom for wanting to change my gender, but I don't remember that fight ever happening. Because I was never a boy, she was always happy. I was never—OW! !" Morgiana stomped him where the privates used to be.

"Get ahold of yourself, Nagisa! You've always been a man, and you never let your mother tell you otherwise! Now you're letting Lord English be the boss of your life?! How about I just beat you until the genitals come back?!" Morgiana began punching his pelvis repeatedly.

"Ow! Ah! AH! Morgiana, please!"

"Ohhh, Nagisa." Goombella returned. "Yuzu cooked your favorite food- oh?"

"NNGH! Feel better now?! When's your manhood gonna come out?!" Morg shouted.

"…I think I'm interrupting something." Goombella stared awkwardly.

"Uuuugh…" Nagisa felt limp down below. "Well, that did _something_ to me. Alright, let's go help Cheren."

 **Planet Froast**

Nebula, Jirachi, and Maddy warped down to the area where they found the Universe Frog. Majora was sitting on the end of the stick that the frog's tongue was stuck to. He heard the trio appear behind him and said, "Back for MMe, are you?"

"Where's Dimentio?" Nebula asked.

"It seems he had no interest in returning after you warped him. Quite rude of him, honestly."

"Where's Chris?!" Maddy demanded.

"He and Grandfather flew in that direction." Nebula pointed to the floating polygon, which appeared more blackened with soot than it had been before.

The four flew that way and found a figure standing in a crater. "Chris!" Maddy exclaimed. She let go of Nebula's hand and dropped into the crater.

"It looks like Grandfather is gone, too." Nebula observed. "I wonder if Chris destroyed him?"

"Chris, there you are!" Maddy ran up to him from behind. "You shouldn't run off without telling anyone! I hope you didn't get hurt too badly…"

Chris only responded with rasps. _"He got away…"_

"Grandfather escaped? Sigh, that's good." Maddy smiled. "I was afraid he would do a lot worse. Well, next time, how about we fight him together?" She reached for his hand.

The second she did was when Chris HURLED her across the crater. She was taken aback by how her Haki didn't pick up such an obvious sneak-attack. When Maddy looked up, Chris's demon aura reappeared around his body, his eyes lacking sanity. _"Typical mortal, having pity. I'm far above such worthless feelings! I must become stronger… I will not rest until I DESTROY him!"_

Seeing him this way was like seeing her own nightmares come to life. "Chris… you really lost it, haven't you? I know that isn't you. It's Malladus talking."

 _"Don't talk like you know me, you useless tool! A mortal like you isn't worthy of my strength!"_

Maddy wanted to assume Chris was joking, but she felt no lie in his twisted voice. "I'm warning you, Chris!" Her fist turned to iron. "Don't make me beat some sense into you!"

 _"Useless imbecile! We'll see how you act after I TEAR YOUR ARMS OFF!"_ His aura burned, and Maddy braced herself as Chris charged like a mindless bull.

A second later, she felt something tiny pushing against her iron palm. She realized it was Chris, who now looked like a cute and feisty red bug. "Shrink therapy never hurts anyone!" Nebula smiled, hands positioned in a frame.

 _"You think this is going to hold ME back?!"_ Chris flew back with Rocket Boost and shot a Combustion Beam at Maddy's hands.

"YOW!" Maddy shook her hands from the burning pain.

"Jirachi, I wish Chris was inside a chi-blocked jar!" Nebula ordered.

"Got it!" Jirachi materialized a simple jar with a symbol in it around Chris.

Maddy caught the jar and held it to her eye. Chris's aura was dying down, but he was viciously trying to punch his way out of the glass. "Even chi-blocking him doesn't calm him down. He's really lost his mind."

"Well, he'll be all right as long as he's in there." Nebula said. "But I don't want him out of there until he's sane. Brain contributes to strength as much as brawn sometimes. I'll leave that to you to teach him that." She winked. "Ready to warp back?"

Maddy stared at Chris once more. The sight of his tiny form in her hand and his current state of depravity felt very familiar. "I guess it's finally time for me to return the favor."

 **Alternia**

The small fleet of KND ships followed Vriska through Alternia's atmosphere. "There they are! Near the castle!"

Esdeath and Dark Oak seemed to be stabbing a sack with a golden glow. Clockwerk then swooped down and impaled his metal talons through the sack, leaving Stewie, the Eggmen, and Joker to shoot it up. "Well, it seems we have guests!" Millennium Earl looked in the direction of the ships. "Let's entertain them!" He opened numerous portals and sent Akuma after them.

"Be gone, foul demons!" Fybi used an Innocence-powered B.O.W. to shoot them down. The ships destroyed the Akuma with the same means, quickly making land as the heroes charged for the Backup Army.

"HEY, YOU JERKS!" Anthony leaped toward the center of the army and smashed the earth with great power. "GET OFF MY COUSIN!" He blew the villains apart with a shockwave.

Dark Oak's fingers opened and extracted vines to penetrate Anthony, the boy dodging, and Diancie tossed diamonds to chop the vines. "Fybi, open that sack! I bet Cheren's in it!"

The Nimbi quickly set foot beside the sack and ripped it open. "! !" She gasped with utmost horror.

"Ch…Cheren!" Aurora gasped.

 _"Oh my!"_ Panini nearly burst into tears.

Cheren was in a state beyond words. He looked like, in the last five minutes, he had been torn apart and glued together a thousand times. The villains showed no mercy in toying with the God Tier's regenerative powers. Even though Cheren still breathed, he looked nothing like a living being. "Those…Those horrible demons…" MaKayla said.

"Oh, you opened it too early." Esdeath said. "We didn't finish our art piece!"

No sooner did a rubber knife grace her legs, sending a stinging sensation that made her fall. "Your art style is disgusting." Nagisa said sternly.

Esdeath gasped. _It's you! The boy from Indo! He looks so… dashing._

"I SEE THAT LOOK YOU'RE MAKING!" Morgiana kicked Esdeath with a flaming foot, leaving a burn mark on her face.

Panini latched herself to Ozai's shoulders and used Purple Fire to grab one of his hands, using it to punch Ozai's own face. Magneto tossed coins to scratch Panini's body, forcing her to drop.

Nolan furiously punched Joker's face nonstop. "Now I'm in love, too!" Joker said, happily taking punches before falling. However, five more Jokers jumped Sandman from behind, stabbing with knives and shoving laughing gas in his mouth.

Wendy cast light spells at Maleficent, and when Jadis tried to stab her, the wind mage leapt and kicked the White Witch in the face. Gruntilda and the Wicked Witch struck Wendy with lightning magic, and despite her struggles to escape it, Maleficent had become a dragon and blew emerald flames.

 _"Guh…Guh…Guys…"_ Cheren rasped.

"Prithee, doth not speak!" Fybi pled. "We shalt not rest until thou art as thou were!"

"Fy8i, what a8out your Winds of Truth?" Vriska questioned. "May8e that can change him 8ack!"

"I didst not think of such!"

"It's ME AGAIN!" DIO jumped the girls.

"8ACK 8FF!" Vriska used a psychic thrust to push DIO away. The vampire smirked, letting a card slip out of his sleeve. Vriska saw the Catch Card and snatched it. "Huh? Hey, it's Lola."

"Lola?! My sister?!" Terry exclaimed, running up to confirm it was her. "Lola! You're okay!"

"Oh, Terry, glad you're here! Listen, we gotta buy the _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure_ series!"

"Uh… why?"

"Because DIO's in it! HAIL DIO!"

"I… think he did something to her."

"I shalt breathe sense into her in a moment as well." Fybi said. "For now, Cheren takes priority." With a deep breath, Fybi breathed the Winds of Truth on Cheren's deformed being.

 **Ganon's Castle**

The Dark Lord sipped a cup of boiled blood. From his balcony, he watched the army's assault. Now, he was seeing a beacon of green light. "What a pity… I was really hoping for a chance to fight him." Ganon set his cup down. "Lord English… you piss me off."

 ** _"I love you… you love me… We're a happy family! With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you…"_**

The Backup Army stood with mouths agape. Just as they were in the midst of their fun… he appeared. And he was singing the most atrocious song.

Lord English materialized from where Cheren once laid. And what happened next was truly mind-boggling: he faced the Backup Army with malice and said, **"I won't let you lay a finger on my new friends!"**


	27. Fair Game

**Get ready for complex plot stuff.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-27: THE SHITTY RACCOON_**

It was a pretty day for pretty kid land where the world was run by shitty snot kids and adults are stupid as shit because they don't do anything. The characters got off their sleep lumps and met in the lazy room with smiley dumb face faces. There was the black emo kid who wants to kill himself and kiss raccoons, and the white emo kid who wants to kill herself, and the beaver kid with gorilla feet, and—ARRGH, THERE'S TOO MANY CHARACTERS! What cursed, useless writer puts so many characters in one universe?! A real universe doesn't have this many people! We're just gonna keep black emo and white emo!

So, black emo wanted to kill himself by jumping off his house, but he falls on white emo because she wanted to kill herself by crushing her lung, but none of them died, so they got mad and tried to kill each other. Then beaver kid brought them a retarded raccoon that drinks booze. Oh, and it had a bomb on its breast. Black emo loved the raccoon and kissed it, and white emo loved the bomb and set it off, KILLING ALL OF THEM! ! And they were happy because they were de-

NO, THEY'RE NOT DEAD! BECAUSE THEN THEY'LL BE GHOSTS! Let's do a different story!

 ** _Chapter F-27: FRIEND THINGS, NO DEATH_**

Today, black not-emo kid and green SAY SOMETHING girl were going to the kid pen. They got sticky cold stuff, but green girl dropped her sticky stuff, but black not-emo kid gave her his! FRIENDSHIP SAVES THE DAY! !

Okay, that one was good! LET'S DO MORE FRIEND THINGS! ! This time, red friend guy wanted to go on a date with his hoes, but all the hoes wanted to fight over him because they're way more sexy! But red friend guy said they were all equally sexy, SO THEY ALL WENT TO BED AND DID IT! !

"Huff, huff, huff!" Fybi flew as high as she could, desperate to escape this horrid world. Just a minute before, they were on the hellish grounds before Ganon's Castle, and now they were in a horrid MS Paint recreation of their world. Mason, Miyuki, and especially Anthony looked atrocious. "What horrible fate hath befallen our friends?! All when my Winds of Truth touched Cheren… I must find a solution. I must escape this world somehow." She continued skyward.

"Oh, why would you want to leave?" Bill Cipher poofed out of flames, Fybi drawing her B.O.W.. "Wouldn't you rather join your friends down there? Their lives are so much better now! All they need is friendship, and from now on, that's all they're gonna have! I mean, think… The only reason you fight is to save yourselves and save your worlds, and to live in peace. But now, there's no reason to fight." Bill closed his eyes. "Because Lord English finally understands the Power of Love."

"Power of… Love? Is this thine twisted vision of love?!"

"Yes, His Lordship has a very unique style, I'll admit. Yet, it makes no difference. Lord English has grown a deep bond with all your friends. Now, he wants nothing more than to protect them. To see them live in harmony. I mean, just look at him!"

Fybi gasped. Only now did she see Lord English hunched over the world like his own personal play set. Smiling like a carefree child, he willed Terry over to kiss MaKayla. **"Now Angry Snot is gonna kiss Time Bitch because he wants to have human larva, and he wants to get that straightened out now! And Purple White Shit is totally fine with that!"**

"This… maketh no sense!" Fybi gasped. "Wherefore hast Lord English arrived at such a conclusion?!"

Hearing her speak, English looked up. **"Oh! Hello there! You're friends with them too, right? Please, join us!"** His grinning skull and wide flashing eyes would terrify any soul. **"I know you're one of my sister's vessels, but I'll be happy to forgive you! Just promise not to piss me off anymore! Come on… Won't you play with us? I'll take good care of you."**

Fybi felt the most uncomfortable feeling crawling through her skin. Somehow, the image of Lord English cradling her friends like babies formed in her brain. **_"Roooock-a-bye worrrrrmlings, innnn my Hulk aaaaarms…"_**

"AAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!" Her scream was so loud, she might as well be a musicbender. "Thou must be jesting, wherefore wouldst I ever, I canst not imagine a fate more grueling, I wouldst rather submit myself to fanservice than live under thee! ! !" She rapidly blasted him with energy arrows. Not an inch of English's HP decayed.

Bill flew by her and hinted, "I don't know if I mentioned, but he's _kind of_ invincible."

 **"But why, Sis? Why don't you wanna join me? Why don't you wanna be part of my universe? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY IDEAS?!"** The universe shook as English's emotions ran chaotically. **"DO YOU NOT LIKE WHAT I CREATED?! Well, what is it, Sis?! Everyone is so happy in my world! That's all that matters, right?! Our happiness!"**

"This happiness is not how we live! Thou mocketh Mason and Miyuki for having suicidal natures?! Our relationships with others?! Thou knowest nothing of our world, nor doth thee our lives!"

 **"I know everything, you tool! These eyes see more than you can comprehend!"**

"Yea… but they canst not see what matters."

No sooner did a Keyblade pierce her back from behind. She gasped for breath as she stared at the tip through her chest. "You've mocked our Lord enough."

"'Tis… thou…" Fybi twisted her head back.

"Lord English and I have that in common." Xehanort said. "We are both so curious how the heart works. We want to examine it."

He withdrew the Keyblade as Fybi's heart flew out. With no soul to drive her body, the angel fell to the painted world below. Xehanort held the heart close to his smirking face. "Now… I have _three_ pure hearts. Davy Jones… how does it taste?" He softly threw the heart toward Jones, who caught it with one tentacle and set it on his tongue.

He swallowed and said, "It tastes like sunlight. Though not as great as the raccoon's was."

"Like anyone knows how _sunlight_ tastes." Bill remarked.

"Now we must wait until Zorc has infiltrated their base." Xehanort said. "But first, let us search for a few more pure hearts. The wind mage must be somewhere in this world. Along with the singer…" He willed the Keyblades they were standing on to fly forward.

"I overheard Voldemort speak ill of Lord English before I battled him. Perhaps this is what he spoke of-ah." Jones mentioned.

"Silence, Jones. We will seize Voldemort and question his treachery in time." _This world disgusts me as well. But now is not the time to get on Lord English's bad side._

 **Hivebent**

Eridan took command of Kanaya's computer while she was away, using it to track the operatives venturing to Alternia. "Oh, blast it! Kan's softwware is completely ludicrous! Wwhen is she going to return?"

"Let me look at it, Eridan-chan!" Nepeta snuggled up to him. "Computers can't be any harder than trains."

("Get back into character, Chi—Nep!")

"Quit goofing around, you idiots!" Karkat shouted. "Vriska's back!"

Vriska had returned to the base with a face beaming with happiness. "Hey, g8ng! How's it hanging? Karkat, I see you're 8ack!"

"Vriska, they said you led all the operatives to Alternia to fight the Backup Army! Shouldn't you be there helping them?!"

"Oh, I had more important matters to take care of." Vriska presented Lola Stork's Catch Card. She ripped it and set Lola free. Lola tore off her mask and revealed herself to be Truman Zorc.

"ZORC!" Karkat screamed. Vriska immediately grabbed the three trolls with psychic and smooshed them against the floor.

"It's too l8, Karkitty. The Fourteenth Darkness has already awakened."

"Fourteenth?! What the hell kind of shit are you spitting—AAAH!" Vriska tossed them all to one side.

"I mean Cheren, of course! The seed was planted in him the moment he 8ecame a God Tier. And his recent encounter with English was what instig8d the seed's growth! I'm afraid it's only a matter of time 8efore he comes _here_."

"You wwere planning to betray us the entire time?!" Eridan questioned.

"Settle your dispute later." Zorc stated. "Where are the other Darknesses?"

"Relax, Shortround, they're just down this hall." Vriska kept hold on her former friends as she led Zorc through the base. On the way, they found several Catch Card victims, who panicked in recognition of Zorc and tried to run, but the demon was able to catch Chihiro and Amethyst.

"I should thank you for having my victims all gathered in one place." Zorc told Vriska. "Now there is only a few more we will have to relocate."

"Yeah, I thought you would like the little gift. Honestly, this place has 8een getting so CR8MPED since we freed all those people! I wanna have this 8ase all to myself! Well, I know Zanifr will wanna share."

"You can do whatever you want with it after I have freed the Darknesses. Defeating a group of 'dorks,' as Bill calls them, should be child's play."

"Well, a couple of them are strong, 8ut you can pro8a8ly take them. Here's the room!" She stopped before a doorway.

"Excellent." Zorc kicked the door open forcefully. "Aha! There they… are?"

The Darknesses were painted against the wall inside a blue square, implied to be the Penance Chamber. They didn't look any more appealing than the MS Paint creations. "What the cr8p?!"

"So, that was your plan all along, huh?" They turned and found Chelan in the doorway.

"Chelan?! Since when are you a chatter-mouth?! And… since when are you this tall?"

"Chelan" wiped the makeup off her face and took off the clothes. She was really April Goldenweek. "You aren't the only tricksters here." The other trolls stepped over from behind and wiped off the disguises. Nepeta was Chimney, Eridan was Apis, and Karkat was Aisa. "After I escaped from Zorc, I found a teal path in the Art World that led me to Terezi. She explained that she smelled treachery mixed with paint in her prophecy, so following her instruction, I created an identical replica of Hivebent. I arrived in time to explain the situation, so the others could move the real base. I'm lucky the real thing was also two-dimensional, otherwise the illusion probably wouldn't work."

"Afterwards, April painted us to look like the trolls." Aisa followed. "And those people you 'Cardified' were wooden robots that April paints to deceive people sometimes!"

"NO WAY!" Vriska shouted. "NO NO NO NO NO NO! I CALL 8ULLSHIT! I only left Hive8ent 10 minutes ago to 8ring the oper8ives to Alternia! There's no WAY you set all this up that quickly!"

"It does sound weird when you mention it." Apis scratched her head. "But weren't _you_ saying how time moves differently for people? I guess time worked in our favor!"

"UUUUGH!" Vriska blasted the team away with psychic. She flew out of the room and was immediately SMASHED under Yellow Diamond's fist.

"You're alive, Yellow Diamond?!" Zorc glared.

The Gem Empress, who was shorter than normal size, took off her mask. "It was the closest disguise that could fit me!"

"This charade ends now!" Zorc drew five cards, each depicting a body part of a golden entity. "I summon Exodia, the Forbidden One!" The cards came to life and merged together. The powerful entity known as Exodia shone like the sun, and destroyed the painted Hivebent with an explosion of power.

The structure splattered like the gray paint it was conceived from, and Exodia returned to card forms. "Hm?" Zorc curiously faced up at the sky, which was now colorful with giant floating paintbrushes and palettes. "So, the base was a portal into the Art World?"

"That's right." April said, having painted a shield over her team. Mocha, meanwhile, blocked the explosion with Haki. "I'll have to hold both of you here until we help out our friends."

"Ha ha ha!" Zorc laughed. "How do you plan to contain me like _this_? My Monster Cards have as much art to them as your pitiful canvases. All my prisoners were simply trapped in tiny, individual segments of the Art World. Do you understand what I'm saying? _I_ have control over this world, too, and mine is STRONGER THAN YOURS!" Zorc whipped out his Keyblade, summoning a swarm of cards from his pocket. Dark clouds covered the colored sky and struck lightning.

"You look like someone who's into games." April figured. "How about a little duel?"

"Do you not realize I am the Lord of Games? How is a simple painter supposed to compete with me?"

April smiled and drew cards from her pocket. "I learned to play with cards at Prism Island, Mushroom Kingdom's Painted Paradise! It's thanks to that place that I learned to enter the Art World."

"Is this some kind of trick?! Those cards are blank!"

"Duh! They have to be painted first! I make up what the cards are and what they do. It's called creativity! Not that I expect you to understand. Your cards are so uninspired, you have to copy them after actual people!"

"I designed every monster in my deck! If you think your childish creations are superior to mine, then I accept your duel! If I win, you and your friends will spend eternity in the Shadow Realm."

"Then if _I_ win, you have to seal yourself in a card and never come out! And free all your other victims! Oh, and release Truman's body!"

"Do you expect me to comply with ANY of those conditions?!"

"He's got a point." Apis said. "You can never trust a demon to keep his word."

"At least he's honest about it." Aisa shrugged.

"Okay, then the winner also gets to keep Vriska in a card."

"H8h?!" Vriska was baffled.

"Heh! That's all you desire as a secondary reward? It makes no difference to me." Zorc stabbed Vriska with his Keyblade, sealing the troll inside a card.

"What's the 8ig idea, you 8ss?! You need me to get into the real Hive8ent!"

"You shouldn't have fallen for such an obvious trick! I'm punishing you by trapping you in this card. But I'll release you once I've beaten these fools."

"And what if they win?!"

"Well, then it's their choice what to do with you." Zorc smirked. He placed the infuriated Vriska in his pocket before facing April. "It's time to duel!" (Play "Bowser Battle" from _Paper Mario: Color Splash_!)

 _Boss fight: Zorc Necrophades_

Zorc summoned a Mega Charizard and a Mega Marmortar, shooting massive twin flames. "Creative my butt!" April retorted, coloring one of her cards. "Get them, Spray Cloud!" She summoned a giant cloud holding water guns with human hands, and water flowed out of them like a tsunami. Once the flames were doused, April painted another card, summoning Popsicle Mountain. The mountain wielded popsicles like swords, slicing the drowned Pokémon into frozen bits.

"Ergh!" Zorc felt damage from the loss of the monsters. "Black Sun, melt all of her useless paint!" Zorc summoned a tremendous sun of dark energy. "Black conducts heat more quickly than other colors, which makes Black Sun the hottest force in the universe!"

April felt like her skin would melt, and Popsicle Mountain already had this fate. "Then I'll summon the thickest force in the universe, The Exting King!" She painted a fire extinguisher with a king's crown and robe. The extinguisher unleashed a cloud of foam that grew to swallow the Black Sun.

"FOOL! I set a trap inside the Black Sun!" As the sun was extinguished, black vines whipped out and binded April. "Devil's Snare will choke your Life Points dry!"

"Hold on, April, I'll burn those vines off!" Aisa declared, drawing a Dial. Fire burst from it, but a purple barrier blocked it.

"No outsiders are allowed to interfere with our game!" Zorc smirked.

"LAAAAME!" Chimney screamed. "I don't even know the RULES!"

"Duel Monsters has no official rules! You have to make them up as you go along, and they must sound like they make sense."

"What kind of a stupid game works like that?!" yelled Apis.

"Actually, this just became my kind of game!" April smiled. "For using a Trap Card after your first turn, I get an impenetrable shield for TWO turns!" A pink bubble sprouted up around April, pushing the Devil's Snare off. "Now I'll play my next card, the Garden Reaper!" April painted a Grim Reaper with a garden hoe and hat. "Of course, he'll need something to reap. I'll have to play my Support Card, the Lolli Garden!" She painted a sunny garden with lollipops that danced left and right.

"Ha ha ha!" Zorc laughed. "Very well, I'll rest and watch you behead a few candies… huh?" Zorc now realized what he was wearing. "WHEN DID THIS GET ON ME?!" He was wearing a candy suit.

"I thought it would look cute!" April grinned. "Get ready for reaping!"

"AGH! !" The Garden Reaper sliced up Zorc along with the garden. "If I wanted nonsense, I would have gotten Baldy Bald to fight for me! Let's see how your reaper does against Anubis, Egyptian God of Death!" He summoned an Egyptian man with a dog's head. Anubis raised a spear and clashed with the Reaper's hoe, easily disarming him and stabbing the Reaper dead. "Killed with a stab through the heart!" Zorc said. "Anubis gets 10 extra Attack Power!"

"Good thing my shield kept me from taking damage. I guess I'll play a good old Defense Down and negate that Attack increase."

"FOOL!" exclaimed Zorc. "It is forbidden to play a Defense Down while you have a shield! The very act of it disables your shield!"

"AH!" April screamed when the shield shattered.

"My turn! Anubis, attack her!"

"AAAAAHH!" Anubis rapidly stabbed April with his spear.

"NO, STOP!" Aisa screamed. "April's a hemophiliac, she bleeds easy! !"

"Don't just tell him that! !" Apis yelled.

"Don't worry. While we still feel the pain, the physical wounds are nonexistent." Zorc said. "Only the loser of this game will take the full extent of the injuries!"

 _That means the boy that Zorc is possessing could get killed if he loses._ April thought. _I'll need to plan this carefully… but I can't do it alone._ "Huff…huff… My health is in the Danger Zone. This allows me to draw a Special Friend Card!" April literally drew a friend on a card. "I summon CHIMNEY to fight for me!" She played the card, warping Chimney onto the field.

"YEAH! Now I'll KICK SOME ARSE!" Chimney ran up, dodged Anubis's spear jabs, and hit the monster from every direction until it was destroyed.

"Did Chimney just defeat an Egyptian God with her bare hands?" Aisa cocked a brow.

"Told ya they weren't real!" Apis grinned.

"This only means I can crush you all one by one! First, I'll play a x3 Card that allows me to draw three cards in one turn. With them, I'll summon Flame Swordsman to combat your friend." A warrior with a flaming sword appeared, swishing his blade at Chimney, who nimbly dodged. "Then I'll summon Exodia's Left Arm, and cast a Darkness Shield around it, absorbing any attacks that try to penetrate it! The arm won't be able to attack unless I turn off the shield, but I won't need to use it, yet."

 _He's going to summon that Exodia thing again? Nothing stopped him from summoning it before. He must really be limiting himself to the game's rules._ "I play a Water Gem to give Chimney more power!" April painted a glowing blue gem that leaked water like a fountain. "Here, Chimney!" When the gem materialized, Chimney took a drink from its spray.

"HO HO!" Water formed around her arms. "I suddenly feel like I have WATERBENDING! Not that discount Fishman Karate crud!" Chimney whipped water at Flame Swordsman and doused his blade, and with a few more hits, the monster was destroyed, damaging Zorc's Life Points.

"And since I gave Chimney an element that complies with her, she gets a Special Ability: Heal!"

"WHAT?! I CAN DO THAT?!"

"Yep! And you will use Heal to restore my Life Points!"

"You got it, April-chan!" Chimney used her new ability to revitalize her friend.

"Very well. I play Exodia's Right Arm, and have it CRUSH you!" Zorc summoned the arm, which didn't hesitate to swat Chimney away like a bug.

"Grrr, you stupid oni!" Chimney recovered and dodged the following attacks.

"Since one of your cards is fighting one of mine, you cannot use another card to destroy it!"

"Then I can focus on you! I play Adorable Baby Fungus! She'll drown you in utter cuteness!" April painted a giant purple baby mushroom.

 _"GOO GOO GA GA!"_ The baby released a noxious fart, spreading spores around the field.

"Cough, cough!" Zorc coughed. "I play The Plague! Your impudent fungus is as good as dead!" A white, ghostly cloud flew out of his card and shriveled the poor baby into nothing. "Oh, what's this? It seems that was a Lucky Card! I get to draw again, and I choose to play one of my favorites, Blue Eyes White Dragon!" The silver dragon sprouted into being from his master's call.

 _"ROOOAAAR!"_

"I play Sir Coughsalot!" April painted a knight in sickly green armor. His armor rattled from weakness, and he coughed inside his helmet.

"Oh, I see. You intend to sicken my Blue Eyes." Zorc predicted. "I'll just have to destroy him quickly! Blue Eyes, use Annihilation Breath!" Blue Eyes charged a powerful beam and destroyed Sir Coughsalot. Shortly after, Blue Eyes turned green. "What?!"

"His exploding body spread the germs that your Blue Eyes inhales! Your dragon will not last for five seconds!"

Quickly, Blue Eyes' Life Points depleted, and once it was gone, Zorc suffered some damage. "You think that was clever? Because I destroyed YOUR card before it had a chance to attack directly, I get to draw two! And I summon both of Exodia's legs!" The entity's legs formed into being. "On my next turn, I'll summon Exodia's head, and you will be finished!"

"Then I'll make good use of my turn. Seeing as MY monster didn't get a chance to attack, I get to draw two as well! And I choose to play my next Friend Card, Apis!" In a flash, Apis warped onto the field.

"Happy to help ya, April!"

"Next, I'll play Holy Armor, to increase Apis' Defense! It triples the effect on her because she's a Christian."

A white robe with gold Crosses appeared on Apis. "Neat!"

"Well, isn't that adorable? Too bad your Defense is NOTHING to Exodia! COME FORTH!" Finally, Zorc summoned the demon's head. The five parts glowed golden and assembled, forming Exodia. "Now, Exodia! Banish them to the Shadow Realm for eternity-" A mushroom grew on its head. "WHAT?! ?"

"When Baby Fungus released its spores, it turned some areas into Shroom Traps!" April smirked. "Your precious head must have landed on one! Exodia is now as mindless as an animal!"

"Oh, I see!" Apis smirked. "I'll take it from here, April!" _Exodia, I am now your master. Give that creep a taste of his own medicine!_

Exodia charged a golden beam and struck Zorc with full power. Once it had served its purpose, Exodia broke back into cards. "ERGH!" Zorc struggled to stay on his feet. "That attack cut a lot from my Life Points! You do realize that you are merely damaging this worthless human body, do you not?"

"Sacrifices must be made." April shrugged.

"April, you can't be serious…" Apis said.

"Well, now it's time for me to play. I call forth Scrappy-Don't!" April painted a man-size bloodhound, eyes frantic and moving in a jittery fashion.

"Then I summon Hades, Lord of the Underworld, to take your mutt's soul!" The Hades from _Hercules_ appeared on the field.

"Hey fellas, how ya doin'? Me, I've just been trapped in a card."

"Scrappy, use Unmask!"

"SCRAPPY-HAPPY-HEE-HEE-HEE!" The dog's legs turned into wheels and sped toward Hades. Scrappy chomped Hades' head in his teeth and yanked off the mask, revealing him to be-

"THE JOKER FROM _BATMAN_?!"

"Hello, kids!" The Joker said. "I am legally required to take up 80% of every medium I'm in. So, get ready to see a lot more of me."

"Just turn back into Hades, you fool!" Zorc ordered.

"Sorry, but once your monster's been unmasked, he can't come back!" April declared, watching Zorc's Life Points deplete. "Now, I have depleted three-fourths of your HP. For coming this far, I get to have a complimentary prize of my choosing."

"Oh, this should be interesting. Very well, what prize do you choose?"

"I choose a Catch Card containing that boy you're possessing!"

"Hahahahaha! You want me to give you my vessel?"

"You don't need it to fight, do you?"

"Of course not. I'm just trying to show mercy by not dueling you in my true form. You would be completely helpless before my power!"

"Yeah, yeah, been there, heard that. Just let me claim my prize."

"Very well. It's time I shed this mortal body, and show you TRUE terror and power!" A spire of darkness erupted from Truman's body. (Play "Blackout" from _Paper Mario: Color Splash_!)

Zorc Necrophades was a titanic demon with black, muscular skin, bat wings larger than his body, and horns coming out of his head and out of his jaws. A second head grew out of his chest, attached to a snakelike body. The girls gazed up his form with terror, the dark clouds swirling around him. _"Well? Won't you collect your prize?"_

Truman transformed into a card, which floated over to April. April swallowed her fear, stuffed the card in her pocket, and grabbed her next card. "Well, since my opponent has gotten a sudden and massive increase in Life Points, I get to play a Friend Card to combat you: come on in, Mocha!" Her giant friend warped onto the field.

"I'm not afraid of you, buddy!"

 _"Hur hur hah! You think your average strength is enough? I will smash you within an inch of your life!"_ The snake head gnashed down at Mocha, who hardened her hands and struggled to hold it back.

"Hrrrrrrrnnnnn! He's too… strong…!"

"Don't worry, Mocha! Because you held him for 10 seconds, you're entitled to a Special Card: the Bands of Hercules!"

April painted golden wristbands on Mocha, and her iron hands turned to gold as she tossed the snake aside. The giant charged forward and dealt rapid punches on Zorc's feet, and with a greater thrust, the demon fell on his rear.

 _"A lucky shot! You won't have one again! I bring forth the Black Eclipse!"_ The entire sky turned black and the earth dim. _"Your stats have been reduced by HALF!"_

"Ergh… he's not lying." April grunted, feeling a decrease in energy. "Thankfully, Apis' Holy Armor makes her immune to your spells."

"Sounds good to me!" Apis beamed.

"In fact, I'll give her the Special Card, Angel's Vocals. As she continues to sing, the effects of your spells decrease!"

"Um, April, I'm not good at singing…" Apis blushed.

"JUST DO IT, Apis-chan!" Chimney ordered.

"Okay! _Hum hum huuuummm…"_

 _"Souls of the Living Graveyard, dine upon these morsels!"_ The earth cracked as black skeletons climbed out of the Underworld, reaching for Apis to drag her below.

"Hands off, ya creepos!" Chimney flew over to kick the skeletons back down to Hell, allowing her friend to keep singing.

"A fraction of our stats return thanks to Apis' singing." April said. "Let's try to chop down a little of YOUR life. God sends His judgment in the form of a Sacred Eagle!" April painted a massive white eagle, gracing a trail of light with his wings. The eagle impaled its talons into Zorc's snake, but the snake retaliated by wrapping around the eagle.

 _"Your beast is now my PREY!"_ Zorc claimed as his snake feasted upon the eagle. _"As I digest my food, I expel my waste and dissolve your flesh!"_ Gas flowed out of his two mouths, drowning the region in green clouds.

"For devouring my Sacred Eagle, an Angel of Justice has come to avenge it!" April painted the card. "And her name is AISA!"

"It's about time!" exclaimed Aisa, raising a Vacuum Dial. "Time for a spot of house-keeping!" She slurped all of the gas inside to keep the air fresh.

"It's too bad we can't get Aeincha or Gonbe to join in this game." April said. "Otherwise, we could use the All Friends Together Bonus."

 _"It's truly a shame I will have to miss such an attack. HAH HAH HUR! TASTE MY RAIN OF PAIN!"_

Droplets of energy fell upon the field. "That's a stupid na—YOW!" Chimney yelped.

"Mocha, protect Apis! She needs to finish her one-note song!"

"Got it, April!" Mocha posed like a bridge over Apis, withstanding the Rain of Pain. Aisa nimbly dodged the droplets using her Haki, but Chimney kept going, "YOWCH OUCH OUCH!" as she danced from the pain.

"Nngh! Apis, are you almost finished?!" Mocha grunted.

"She should be just about… DONE!" On April's cue, the black sky disappeared. "For successfully using teamwork to put an end to your spell, my team is allowed free strikes on you for 10 seconds!"

"YAAAAAH!" The girls rushed up and laid a furious beatdown on the massive demon. Mocha chucked Chimney up to Zorc's neck, so she could chomp it in her big mouth. Aisa flew up to the head with Dials and stomped him with Red-Foot Kicks, while Mocha continued punching his feet.

 _"Your ten seconds are OVER!"_ Zorc used a burst of energy to blow the girls off him. _"Your little kitty punches are adorable, but as you can see, you took so little Life Points from me! In fact, I do believe I deserve a Special Card for enduring such an 'assault.' I summon the HEADS OF HYDRA!"_ Five more snake heads grew around his body, making seven heads total. _"What more fitting way is there to finish off Sector W **7**?! Or should I call you Sector W5, since the rabbit and that doll were less than useful."_

"'EY! YOU AIN'T GONNA INSULT GONBE AND APRIL WHEN I'M AROUND!" Chimney leapt on one of the Hydra heads and began gnawing its eyes. Mocha wrestled with her own head, Aisa jabbed kicks at another, while Apis was-

"WAAAAAH!" Apis was running, as she was anything but combat-worthy.

"For the record, Chimney, he probably meant to insult Aeincha with that 'doll' thing." April inferred as she painted her next card calmly. "But all the same, you've angered her, Zorc. Which means Chimney gets to use a Special Card, Raging Predator!" She painted the card red with a wide-open maw. "Her mouth is so big and ravenous that it can ingest anything!"

At that moment, a red aura burned around Chimney as her mouth tripled in size. _"Oi, this really ain't gonna look good to the dentist. NYAAAAA!"_ Chimney CHOMPED the Hydra head in her mouth and munched her way toward the body.

 _"HA HA HUR! Devour all that you can, brat! Cut off one Hydra head, TWO MORE will take its place!"_ Chimney was pushed off by the eruption of two more heads.

"You may have grown two more, but you STILL lose Life Points for the one you lost!" April shouted.

 _"Do you think that matters at all to me?! Even if I were to lose this duel, no amount of damage you deal will EVER be enough to end me! I may let you get away with your lives, but I WILL return, stronger than ever! Perhaps you do not understand the extent of my power. Allow me to show you: I sacrifice all six of my Hydra heads."_ The heads vanished into darkness. _"Individually, they count as six monsters. With their sacrifices, I will summon two cards of divine power: DIALGA and PALKIA!"_

The Gods of Time and Space materialized, standing guard before their master. "You created replicas of Dialga and Palkia?!" April exclaimed.

"There's something up with them!" Aisa said in terror. "Just look at their eyes! They're red!"

 _"Hur hur hur! They are not replicas! They are the actual gods from your world! After your lunatic ally exploded and rearranged the universe, they were blown out of the safety of their Spirit World. They were quite dazed from the impact, which gave me the perfect chance to overpower them! …Of course, their appearances are a little worse for wear."_ Dialga had a pony's tail and Palkia had bear claws. _"Regardless, their powers are still phenomenal! And don't think it was just these two I collected. Lord English wants absolute certainty that the universe will be HIS."_

 _So, he's got the other gods in there, too. But does he have all of them?_

 _"I can annihilate you all in one more blast! But given the extent of their power, I will give you one more turn to plan a counterattack. It's only fair…"_

April sighed. "Then I have no choice. I sacrifice all four of my friends and give them to you!"

"HUH?! ?" they all screamed.

"APRIL, YOU DIRTY TEENAGER, I NEVER SHOULD'VE TRUSTED YOOOU…" were Chimney's last words before they turned into cards and flew over to Zorc.

"And in return, I am allowed to claim _two_ of your least favorite cards." April raised her Keyblade. "Sound like a fair trade?"

 _"HAHAHAHA! And which of my 'feeble' cards will you take to combat the gods?! Assuming you can even guess what I have."_

"I didn't say they were feeble, I said they were your least favorite. And the two cards I choose are… PALUTENA AND SOLARIS!" April cast a beam from her Keyblade, striking Zorc.

 _"Orgh! Hrn?!"_ The demon watched as the two cards flew away from his being. In a burst of light, the Goddess of Light and God of the Sun appeared at April's side.

"Huh?! We're free!" Palutena gasped.

 _"But those two have not, it seems."_ Solaris observed.

"I knew that a demon of pure darkness would despise the light above all else." April said. "You had to have captured them under Lord English's orders, but you would never use them in battle."

 _"You smug little brat! After this duel, I'll savor the taste of your friends' souls! Dialga, Palkia, DESTROY THEM!"_ The possessed gods charged their Roar of Time and Roar of Space, quaking the universe as they flew in unison.

"Palutena, Mirror Shield! Solaris, support!" At April's order, Palutena used the shield to withstand the attack, and Solaris shone like a sun to increase its reflect-ability. The force of the Time-Space gods was overwhelming, but Palutena stood firm and strong, pouring every ounce of strength into the Mirror Shield. Amazingly, the entirety of the beams were fully absorbed.

 _"YAH! !"_ Palutena hurled back a larger beam of blue and pink, striking Dialga and Palkia dead-on. The twin gods were out cold, taking a chunk out of Zorc's Life Points.

 _"IMPOSSIBLE! You could not have defeated the strongest gods under Arceus! !"_

"Technically, they defeated their selves." Palutena smiled.

 _"Then I will destroy you MYSELF!"_ Zorc charged forth.

"Not so fast!" April whipped up a card. "Their unexpected victory earns me a Lucky Card! With it, I replenish the energy they lost in the attack!" Small beams of light touched the two gods. "And I command them to conduct a Unison Attack: Fires of a Thousand Suns!"

Palutena and Solaris burned with the full potential of their chi. Palutena cast light in the sky and Solaris cast fire. They connected and blew the dark clouds away with a golden sun. White flames fell upon the Art World like meteors, rapidly pounding Zorc's body of darkness.

 _"ARRRRGH! It can't be! The divine powers of Pure Light! Known only to the very creators of light! I AM HELPLESS TO THE CREATORS OF LIGHT!"_

"Ha! Typical 4Kids villain, shouting your weaknesses aloud!" April twirled her Keyblade. "So long, Zorc! We'll let the New Universe know how epically you failed!"

 _"NOOOOOOOOOoooooo…"_ The light drowned Zorc, and the Demon Lord of Games was no more. The Art World was awash in light and the demon's Keyblade shattered. (End song.)

All that was left of his being were Catch Cards scattered about the air. April searched them all, tearing the ones of her friends to set them free. "Phew!" Mocha sighed in relief. "Part of me wishes the light would've shrunk him and I could step on him… but getting destroyed is fine."

"Yes." Palutena chuckled, patting Dialga's weary head. "And hopefully, he won't return for another 5,000 years."

Aisa used Mantra to sense the other god cards, having already freed Rayquaza and Kyogre. "It looks like his Catch Cards are still in affect, though. We'll need to keep searching for other prisoners."

 _"Ha ha ha ha!"_ Groudon's card laughed at Kyogre. _"Your face is ridiculous!"_ Indeed, the Zachsplosion had given the Sea God a frog face.

 _"And just what hideous feature are YOU hiding?"_ remarked Kyogre.

"Oh yeah!" April gasped, remembering the card in her pocket. She removed it and ripped it. Truman Kirman fell on the ground unconscious.

Sector W7 came to stand over him. "He doesn't have a scratch on him." Apis said. "Since Zorc was the true player, he would've suffered the injuries."

April then reached in Truman's pocket, finding two cards: Lola Stork's true card and Vriska's. "Oh, d8mn." Vriska cursed.

"Alright, start talking, you meinu!" Chimney demanded. "Why'd you bloody betray us?! Who's the bloody Fourteenth Darkness?!"

"Fine, toots, it doesn't matter if I tell you now. Let's take it 8ack to when I 8ecame God Tier. I found my Quest 8ed among the remains of the Land of Maps and Treasure. …Then I met him."

 _Vriska was lost in a sea of giant floating scraps of map paper. One of these scraps depicted a bed, which bore the symbol on her shirt. She entered this part of the map, and gasped seeing someone else there. "Hello, my dear!" the human Bill Cipher greeted._

 _"Who are you?" ::::?_

 _"The name's Bill. And I'm about to make your wildest dreams come true!" Bill presented an ordinary 8-ball from his pocket. "Inside this ball contains a very tiny essence of my master. I've traveled back in time to give it to you…"_

"He gave me specific instructions." Vriska continued. "Specific… 8ut vague. He told me to plant the 8all under a specific Quest 8ed. I thought this would 8e some kind of prank, so naturally, I was up for it! Then, to my amazement, I learned the Quest 8ed 8elonged to a _human_ from your dimension. I was told 8y my future self that the Uno Family contained 8lood from our dimension, and Cheren's connection with that 8lood, 8y some miracle, was the strongest. He could 8ecome God Tier. I let Majora in on my plan to lure Cheren to the Quest 8ed. I was surprised that he 8ecame a God Tier, 8ut I didn't know what effect the 8-8all would have. Then 8ill found me again once our universe was restored."

 _Vriska was casually soaring through the skies of Skaia. "Well, well, well." She gasped when Bill suddenly appeared to her right. "I was wondering what shenanigans Future Bill would be up to, and whaddya know, he's gone and found himself a special agent!"_

 _"You…You're Lord English's minion!" Vriska glared._

 _"Right you are! And guess who just became a BIG help to His Lordship's goals? YOU, SISTER! You know that 8-ball you put under Cheren's Quest Bed? The minute that boy sacrificed himself and attained the godly chi from that bed, that piece of Lord English's chi was slurped inside him as well. The Kids Next Door's Supreme Leader is an unaware Darkness!"_

 _"That 8oy that my future self told me a8out?! HE'S a Darkness?!"_

 _"Oh, and it seems like you're willing to help us further! Listen up, darling, you've already lost. Lord English has gained control of all the Firstborn's powers in the future and the multiverse is ultimately his. Sadly, he was missing one key component to his character: the idea of love and friendship. That Cheren boy is a friend to almost every dimwitted mortal he meets. Now that his mind is connected to His Lordship's, all his happy feelings and close bonds can be transferred to English! When that happens, even the protection of the Seven Lights won't be able to protect them!"_

 _"W…Why are you telling me this now?"_

 _"Because your job isn't complete, yet! And I know you'll do what I say. After all… you want to see him again, right? You want to see Tavros again, unharmed. You don't give a damn about those 'friends' of yours, you never did."_

 _"…" Vriska only responded with a glare for a moment. "What do you need me to do?"_

 _"Well, unfortun8ly (no offense) Cheren's transformation has caused many of his friends to distrust him, and his apparent bond with_ you _has made him grow away. We need to rekindle those feelings. After Cheren makes direct contact with Lord English, their happy emotions should start to increase. Afterwards, I want you to lure Cheren to Alternia, where we'll have the Backup Army attack him all at once. His helpless situation will make him long for his friends, and when they learn what's happened, they will suddenly remember how much he means to them. Then you just have to get that little angel brat to breathe on him!"_

 _"You mean Chelan?"_

 _"No, Fybi. The orange-haired one. Well, he should be on his way now. Remember, don't bring him to Alternia until after he's fought with Lord English. Buh-bye now!"_ _Bill vanished. Vriska saw the R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R. in the distance and flew toward it._

"NnnnnNNN! WHAT 'AVE YA DONE WITH CHEREN-CHAN?!" screamed Chimney.

"8y my understanding, Lord English has attained the 'Power of Friendship'… so to speak. He used Cheren's 8ond with his friends to trap them in his world. Nothing can save them now."

"I'M GONNA TEAR YOU TO SHREDS, stupid spider lady! !" Chimney furiously bent her card up and down.

"Easy, Chimney!" Aisa swiped the card. "We can't let her escape! We need to get back to Hivebent and tell the others what's happened!"

"Is there any way to change Cheren back to normal?" Mocha asked. "Please, tell us!"

"The only solution I can think of is to kill him. And a God Tier can only die through a noble sacrifice."

"So… would it be noble to sacrifice him to save our friends?" April asked.

"You can't seriously be thinking about killing Cheren!" Apis shouted.

"I'm not! It's just… what else can we do?"

This question became the only thing to haunt their minds.


	28. The Thirteen Xehanorts

**We only have three Darknesses to go! And the Backup Army. And Bill Cipher. Then Lord English. Ho boy.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-28: The Thirteen Xehanorts_**

 **Hivebent (the real one)**

Chimney and Aisa carried Truman to the Penance Chamber, handing his unconscious body to Vaati inside. "Will this chamber be able to contain Zorc's power?" Vaati asked.

"Zorc has been destroyed." Aisa replied. "But if there are any traces of his chi inside Truman, we think the cell can prevent it from becoming active."

"I see. All right. I'll protect him from these monsters."

"We have no interest in him." Aizen said.

"As if I can count on that." Vaati said, returning to his seat with Truman in his lap. Aisa shut the cell.

"VRISKA, I'M GONNA TEAR YOU TO PIECES!" Karkat screamed, bending the card up and down. "I would tear up this card right now, but I want you to GROVEL inside it, but when it's safe to let you out, I'LL CHOP YOU UP!"

"Yeah, and how you gonna do that without your claws?!"

"Guys, this isn't the time!" Sora shouted. "We have to rescue our friends and turn Cheren back to normal!"

"Screw that, let's just kill him and save ourselves the trouble!" Karkat argued. "If Cheren really wants us to win, his noble sacrifice will be dying for that cause."

"We're not going to kill Cheren!" April stated firmly.

"I don't want to, either." Apis followed. "And even if we considered it, Lord English will have us under his spell the second we go down there. Even being around April won't protect us."

"If Lord Eng's powwer has expanded so greatly," began Eridan, "he could havve us under his spell at any moment. Wwaiting is pointless."

"As Cheren's superior and High Supreme Leader, I forbid sacrificing any of my loyal operatives." Nebula stated. "At least… not without the consent of the person in question."

"Cheren isn't in his right mind, he can't give consent if he wanted to." Karkat said. "And if you would fucking open your eyes, Fybi and Suki went with the rescue party, too, and we've had NO word from them! That means they're in Lord English's clutches, TWO of the Lights GONE! Top that with Sheila who's still as limp as a potato sack, and we're basically fucking SCREWED! And it's ALL that pissing Cheren's fault for thinking he could take on a FUCKING ARMY OF NERD BAIT! ! If we're about to become Lord English's ***-toys, then I'm gonna kill that shitty boy before he has the-"

With the snap of the fingers, Nebula shrunk Karkat to grape size. Nepeta's cat instincts kicked in as she pounced her leader. Vriska's card flew about in the air before landing in Feferi's hands. "I'll say it again: we are NOT killing Cheren. Not until we've made absolutely certain there are no other alternatives."

"Boy, this scene seems awfully familiar." A new girl's voice intervened.

The group turned to the source. "What are YOU doing here?" April asked. Their surprise guest was the Goddess of Nature, Viridi.

"In case anyone forgot, the gods are kind of waiting outside." Viridi stated. "We're officially involved with this war. The others are discussing returning to our home dimension to help Arceus combat Lord English. And I suppose it _is_ our godly duty. But back to what I was saying: you're debating what to do with Cheren. To my knowledge, Cheren is a god; an unnatural god, but a god nonetheless. And what did you do the LAST time you tried to combat a god?"

The kids exchanged confused glances. "You freaking POISONED me!" exclaimed Viridi. "Poisoned me and stripped me of my godly power! So, why don't you do the same to him?"

"Right… That poison Cheren got from the Grim Reaper." Nebula recalled. "Maybe it _could_ work. If the piece of Lord English is part of his God Tier, then if he drank that same poison, that piece would die along with his powers."

"But it could also kill CHEREN!" Apis exclaimed.

"I know! We need to ask Death the Kid how it would work. …And if he has any of the poison. Viridi, can you warp to the Spirit World and find him?"

"What am I, one of your dumb operatives?!"

"YES! Now, get going, for the sake of the word 'natural' still having meaning!"

"Bleeeh!" Viridi stuck her tongue out before doing the spirit-warp.

 ** _King Dutchman_**

Davy Jones set another captured heart on his tongue and swallowed. "Suki's heart tastes especially cold. I feel as if I will freeze… if not for the tiniest hint of warmth in its core."

"Sheila's heart… Aeincha's heart… Wendy's… Sugar's… Arianna's… Fybi's… Suki's… At last, I have seven pure hearts." Xehanort thought aloud.

"'ah 'ah 'ah!" laughed The Count from _Sesame Street_. Davy Jones snapped his head off with his crab claw.

"Tell me, Xehanort… why have you done all this for me? Why does it concern you if the darkness in my heart is diminished by these children's hearts?"

"I am a scientist, Captain Jones. I live to experiment. And there is an experiment I have been longing to complete. With your help, it might finally bear fruit."

"So, I am merely an experiment to you. A tool."

"Oh, Jones, don't think like that! Why, your heart is one of the most complex things I've come across. It's almost as intricate as Baldy Bald's mind. The darkness inside is so lush…"

"Hm hm hm… You praise the darkness in _my_ heart, but I know of darkness much greater. His name is Gnaa… and in my world, he was the embodiment of Arceus's Darkness."

"Yes… Ganondorf told me of Gnaa. And I believe he will be the perfect ingredient…" Xehanort reached into his coat and drew a Catch Card, containing none other than Aang, "to complete my experiment."

The _Dutchman_ was closing in on a small, purple moon in a region of space where no stars were visible. On this moon, Derse, was a city inhabited by pitch-black creatures, known as Carapacians. The creatures shrieked in fear of the strangers and stepped out of their way. "Who are those people?!"

"Are they with the other bald guy?!"

They found him in a town square, next to a fountain that made the water look purple, reflecting off its surroundings. He sat cross-legged in midair, facing the fountain and sipping black coffee. "Mmm… I never understood what those Positives found in tea. Coffee is the way to go." He opened his eyes and turned his head slightly. "It's been a while, Jones…"

"Lord Gnaa." Jones kneeled. "It is a pleasure to see you again."

"So, you are the one the IDA retrieved from the Sea of Worlds, to lead the rebels in the fight against us." Xehanort said. "Yes, I can feel the darkness inside you from afar. A vast ocean of conflicting emotions!"

"That's in the past." Gnaa turned, glaring at them. "I abandoned my quest for pure darkness a long time ago. My only desire now is to save the universe from whatever madness YOU have been causing!"

"The darkness inside you still exists. It is merely sealed away. But I will unlock it, even if it takes my entire being!" Xehanort lashed at him Keyblade drawn, but Gnaa blasted him away with psychic. The Negatar buried his hands in the shadows and sent a swarm of shadow hands over to grab Xehanort and drag him underground. Gnaa gasped when the Guardian Heartless shot out and punched him, allowing his master to get free and leap for a strike against Gnaa's chest.

Gnaa gripped the wound, making sure his heart was still intact, then he puffed a cloud of gas to put Xehanort in a coughing fit. Gnaa heated up the gas and made it explode, but the Guardian had already wrapped itself around him and shielded Xehanort from harm. The Guardian flew up to swing quick dark punches that Gnaa blocked with a psychic shield, but Xehanort warped behind to unlock the shield, then he stopped time on the Negatar to deal quick Keyblade strikes.

When time resumed, the force and pain of the strikes caught on to Gnaa, and the Guardian took advantage of his weakness by punching him across some buildings. Xehanort flew to his location, and Gnaa countered with a deafening Fear Scream. "Ha ha ha ha! Is this supposed to be fearbending?! You're out of luck, Negatar! I have already given myself to the darkness, I have nothing to fear!"

"What a pathetic man you are. I guess I will have to destroy you entirely!" His eyes and arrows brimmed with pure darkness, the powers of his five elements orbiting around him. Xehanort snapped fingers and summoned numerous Keyblades to his side, combining them into a bigger Keyblade that struck Lord Gnaa with near equal force.

"His Keyblades are as strong as Lord Gnaa's Negatar State." Jones observed. "Perhaps in his own world, Xehanort is the Negatar's equivalent."

Xehanort spun the giant blade to deflect Gas Bombs, and when giant Shade Hands sprouted up to clasp the Key Master, Xehanort took four Keyblades and shot blue flames to scare them away. Psycho Spheres formed and rained upon him, but Xehanort used Reflect to bounce the energy away, some of it striking Gnaa. Xehanort fired lasers from eight Keyblades and spun them around, slicing several buildings and Jones' body (not that it would hurt him at all). Afterwards, Xehanort drew them together with Magnet, and repelled them against Lord Gnaa.

The Negatar used psychic to grab the buildings and make them float around him. Xehanort smirked and channeled a surge of Gravity with his Keyblades, crushing Gnaa under the weight of the buildings. Lord Gnaa escaped by teleporting above Xehanort and blasting a giant Gas Bomb. The explosion swallowed nearly half the moon, but the Darkness used Aeroga to shield himself in wind. Gnaa grabbed the building rubble in psychic and attempted to crush his opponent, but Xehanort used a surge of Magnega to counter Gnaa's power. The force of the conflicting powers caused Derse to shake and almost crack in half.

 **Hivebent**

"Aaaaaaand GUESS Who's Back From Matter Space!" Kanaya cheered once she, Carol, and Vanellope returned. Several material from the storage lab were tied together in a large ball of rope, and Eridan was struggling to haul it through the door.

"Guess wwho doesn't enjoy bein' abruptly called for yelloww-blood wwork!" retorted Eridan.

"Hey, why the long faces, you guys?" Vanellope asked. "You look like something terrible just happened."

There was silence for a moment. "…Something did." Nebula replied.

While Kanaya went to begin repairing the computer, the others recapped the story as told by Vriska. "Wait!" Vanel gasped. "S-So Dillon, Dad, a-and the others…?"

"But don't they have Midna with them?" Carol asked.

"We haven't had word from the other Firstborn." Nebula answered. "Jirachi can't even bring them here with a wish. They're really under Lord English's control, and it's all because they planted that bug in Cheren."

"Well, ain't we gonna do somethin'?!" Kimaya shouted. "I just came from the dead and it's boring! I don't wanna sit around and wait for that creep to kill me again!"

"Kimaya's right!" Sora stated. "If we can't do anything to help Cheren yet, we need to at least try to rescue the other Lights that went down there!"

"Oh!" Nebula gasped. "That's right! If Lord English's power can't affect the Lights… Jirachi, I wish Fybi and Suki were back here at Hivebent!"

"I'll try…" Jirachi channeled magic and burst with light. Two human forms materialized beside him, taking the colors of Fybi and Suki.

To everyone's shock, the figures fell dead on the ground. "Oh, no!" Apis ran up to Fybi first. "Are we too late?!"

A faint breath leaked out of Fybi's throat. Apis put a hand to her chest. "No… she's still alive. Her heart's beating."

Sora gasped. "I've seen this before… Xehanort must have taken their hearts!"

"She just said her heart was beating, dumbass!" Chimney shouted.

"I mean that he's taken their souls! The same way he stole Sheila's, and that small girl's!"

"AEINCHAN?!" Chimney screamed with remembrance. "That stupid BASTARD! He fed Aeinchan to Davy Jones! THEIR SOULS ARE BEING EATEN BY A CREEPY ANIME SQUID!"

"That's it!" Sora whipped out his Keyblade. "Xehanort needs to be taught a lesson!"

"Tell us how to kick his ass and we'll get right on it!" Kimaya smirked.

"Well… I don't know any _specific_ weaknesses he has." They all collapsed anime style. "Heheheh! We usually just beat him up, but he always seems to come back in one form or another!"

"If You're Going To Fight Xehanort, I Think I Know Where You Can Find Him." Kanaya said, her computer displaying the purple moon.

"That's Derse, the Kingdom of Darkness." Eridan noticed. "Wwhat has happened to it?"

"That's the world where our leader is hiding!" Sora exclaimed. "Do you guys know him? His name is Gnaa."

 _"GNAA?! ?"_ All the operatives screamed.

"I… take that as 'yes'?"

"We don't know him personally, but he is a legend." April said. "He's the Master of the Dark Elements, and he once corrupted the God of our Universe, Arceus."

"I'm going to Derse now!" Sora rushed into the hangar to board his Gummi Ship. "Xehanort's up to something and I need to stop him!"

"Ain't you takin' me along?" Kimaya climbed onto the ship.

"She's one of the Seven Lights, after all." Django joined them. "You may need her."

"I… guess so. But I still didn't have a chance to train you."

"Pfft, I never pay attention in school, anyway. I just cheat my way through. Got this far, didn't I?"

"Sigh… I can't argue with that." Sora smiled, finding her argument familiar. "Fine, but just promise you'll be careful."

The gods outside watched as the Gummi Ship took off. _"What are we waiting for, Dialga?!"_ Palkia questioned. _"For Lord English to come to us?"_

 _"Under the circumstances, I fear he may come for these remaining mortals. We must offer them as much protection as we can. Furthermore… we cannot rule out the possibility of slaying their friend ourselves, if their other options have failed."_

 _"Well, YOU'RE the God of Time. You should know what our course of action will be!"_

 _"Heh heh heh. If only my powers were worth a damn in this world."_

"They will not fail." Palutena said assuringly. "For the past thousands of years, the Thirteen Darkness have troubled even us gods. And yet, these mortals have defeated them, one by one." With a smile, she said, "So, I'm sure they can rescue their friends, and destroy Lord English. The prophecy may not have gone as we planned it to… but it will end the very same way: with the Seven Lights as the victors!"

 **Ganon's Castle**

Ganon had fallen asleep on his throne. His sword was discarded on the floor. When a dark portal opened, Ghirahim jumped out of the sword and shook him. "Master, someone is here! Wake u-"

Ganon socked him in the mouth and jumped awake. "What?! Who…" He looked to see who stepped out of the portal. "Oh… Heh heh." Ganon smirked. "It's you… Majora."

"Good evening, Ganon." Zanifr held the mask in his hand to prove who he was.

"So, this is what you really look like. I was hoping for a demon more terrifying. I hope you aren't planning to destroy me, now that the Hero of Time is now Lord English's pawn."

"I never did have faith in Cheren. And recent events have persuaded MMe that MMy former friends have put their faith in the wrong person."

"The truth is cold and unforgiving, isn't it? So, why have you come to me?"

"I am here to give you MMy unconditional surrender. Vriska was already planning to betray them. And I have MMy MMask to offer." He held it forward in both hands. "All I ask is protection from Lord English. Assuming, of course, you can provide it."

"Assuming, of course, I feel like protecting you at all. HAH HAH hah! But I could never let a demon of your caliber fall to that fool's hands! After all… his idea of a world truly is disturbing."

"I'MM glad we're in agreement." Zanifr said as he approached. "Still, is it wise to be speaking of him in such a MManner? He is all-seeing and all-knowing, is he not?"

"So we have been told, over and over." Ganon took Majora's Mask and studied it. "And yet, my fellow Darknesses often doubt his power. Some were even discussing possible weaknesses. But whenever Lord English would greet us in person, he would speak so happily, so proud that his 'minions' were helping him realize his vision. Why, I would wager he is under the impression that we _like_ his ideas."

"And what do _you_ believe?"

Ganon smirked. "I believe His Lordship wishes only to see what _he_ wants to see, denying any truths! But even HE cannot Rewrite our SOULS!"

 **Derse**

Carapacians ran all around the moon, but nowhere on this small rock was safe from their chaotic battle. Lord Gnaa hovered above like a storm cloud and burned everything with Force Lightning, but Xehanort redirected it away from him. Lord Gnaa swooped down with a lightsaber drawn, but Xehanort once again used Reflect to make the saber stab Gnaa in the belly. The Negatar teleported away and clasped the wound. _"I underestimated your strength… and your ties to the darkness. Truly, you are a prodigy in your own right. You give me no choice…"_

Lord Gnaa sensed the presence of every Carapacian and teleported them off the moon. Afterwards, he formed a psychic bubble around it, using more psychic to bind Xehanort and Jones in place. The bubble quickly compressed and threatened to crush everything inside. "St…St…STOP!"

Despite his captive state, Xehanort summoned enough power from his Keyblade to freeze time. The Psychic Chi still held its grip on Xehanort. A dark portal opened, and from it a pink-haired man in a black coat. "This would be the signal, I take it?"

"Marluxia! I was afraid you wouldn't notice. Block that fool's chi for a moment, will you?"

Marluxia drew a card with a chi-block, throwing it at Gnaa. When time resumed, Gnaa felt an unseen force, dissipating the bubble and his grip on Xehanort. "Zorc wasn't the only card player in The Thirteen!" Xehanort said as Marluxia presented numerous cards. "For three years, I have been collecting pieces of every world I conquered. What better place to complete my project, than inside my portable REALM OF DARKNESS!" Marluxia threw the cards up in the air and SLICED them with his scythe.

In an explosion of purple light, another planet erupted over Derse, composed of darkness and broken worlds. The Gummi Ship arrived just in time to witness the transformation. "Uhhh… it didn't look like that on the computer." Kimaya said.

"Gnaa is in danger." Sora knew. "We have to hurry."

"Can't we just sit here and enjoy the view?" Django joked.

"Not unless it's the view of Xehanort cryin' like a bitch!"

"GEEZ, Kimaya, language!" Sora flinched.

"I take it his world has no cussing." Django said.

"What a puss."

"Ugh! Let's just get this over with." (Play "The World That Never Was" from _Kingdom Hearts II_!)

 _Stage F-21: Kingdom of Darkness_

 _Mission: Protect Gnaa and defeat Xehanort!_

The inside of the dark orb was its own dimension. Standing against the dark sky was Beacon Academy, and Grimm roamed the broken remains of this world. After landing in the courtyard, Sora and Kimaya ran up to a bear Grimm and two Neo Shadows having coffee at a table. The Ursa picked the table up and threw it at the intruders, but Sora used Guard and then whacked it back at the Grimm. The Neo Shadows went in the ground and pounced out at Kimaya, breaking her skeletal body apart. One of her hands drew the Oblivion and lashed at the Heartless from behind, destroying them. Sora froze the Ursa's face and leapt to behead the Grimm.

The school grounds were divided into five massive chunks, rotating in place. "School just got more interesting." Django said.

"Yeah… guys, call me crazy, but I kind of want to fix this world." Sora said.

"Good luck with that." Kim said, her bone head twisting around when three Plump Belly Heartless (twice the size of Large Bodies) spawned.

"I really think we should repair this place! Keep the Heartless away!" Sora used Magnega to draw one piece of the courtyard to their current piece. Django threw Kimaya up to one Plump Belly's head, channeling poison through her Keyblade and stabbing the Heartless' weak heads. Poison coursed through the Plump Bellies, making them so dizzy that they fell over the edge. Sora's Magnega brought the pieces together in time to squash them.

Light emitted from the crack, and when it cleared, the pieces were attached as though they were never broken. Sora worked to connect the other three pieces, with Kim and Django fighting back Heartless. After Sora repaired the fifth piece, Kimaya asked, "Great, ya fixed the playground. What'd that accomplish?"

The world rumbled, the trio gazing up at the full moon. The moon shattered as chunks came raining down. Sora grabbed Kim and Django in his arms, nimbly leaping from piece to piece as they flew into the sky. They landed on a trio of grind rails, Sora taking the middle and dropping his friends on either side. Heartless trains appeared behind them and fired puffs of darkness with chomping mouths. Jumping the puffs was easy, but Kim and Django had to get onto Sora's when the side rails sloped down.

More rails appeared as they seemed to fly over Beacon Academy. The school's towers collapsed and destroyed parts of several rails, forcing the group to jump to the very right, very left, and evade any other gaps destroyed by falling debris. When they were left with one rail, it slanted down under their weight and dropped them in a forest. "Is this one of the worlds Xehanort destroyed… or is Lord English just giving him the scraps?" Sora wondered aloud.

The walk through the forest lasted for a minute before they arrived at a new town. They had crossed from the Ruins of Remnant to the Ruins of the Dark Empire (the unnamed setting of _Akame ga Kill_ ). Heartless Assassins (cloaked in ninja gear with katana and red eyes) leapt from the shadows, led by Seryu, a girl with a robot arm and a gun in her mouth. Her teeth were sharp, and her red eyes were bereft of any humanity. Sora deflected her bullets, which had no effect on Kimaya's undead body, so the girl bravely ran forward and shoved a Keyblade down Seryu's throat. Shooting gas inside, the spark of the gunpowder touched it and exploded the human weapon.

Django strummed sonic waves to stun the Assassin Heartless, leaving Sora to destroy them. The trio journeyed toward the center of town, where a fountain sparkled with life in the dark light. "Is THAT blood?!" Kimaya exclaimed, not the first to notice the red water in the fountain.

"What kind of world was this?!" Sora asked in disgust. He observed the river behind it and said, "'Guess we have no choice but to go with it." He conjured a colorful boat with his Keyblade, using it to ferry them over. The river grew wide as red shark Heartless swum up from either side, but the kids used the boat's cannons to blast them.

"AAH!" yelped Django when a gunshot blew off his hat. The river would end at a cliff, and above that cliff was their sniper. "Someone's trying to gun us!"

"You wanna go at it, bitch?!" Kimaya shouted at their assaulter, cocking her Keyblades like guns. "I shoot fools in my sleep!"

The sniper shot again, but Kim batted the bullet away with Oathkeeper and shot an energy bullet from Oblivion. The sniper was hit, but still standing, she fired more bullets. Kimaya blocked and shot two more times until the sniper fell. The boat stopped at the cliff as the trio climbed up. The sniper was a pink-haired, pigtailed girl, and the dark aura implied her lack of conscience. _"Tat…sumi…"_ She poofed.

They felt pity for the stranger, but had no time to ponder over her. The heroes crossed a grassland infested with T-rex Heartless, their eyes flashing once they spotted prey. Kimaya channeled poison to the tips of her blades, readied them to explode, and shot them into the Rexes' mouths. Further up the path, they heard shouting ringing from within a gorge. Inside the gorge, an obese old man was strapped to a table, writhing in pain as the angry bystanders chopped off parts of his body and tortured him with weapons. The base of the gorge was also flooded, the water turning red with the man's blood.

"Yuck!" moaned Django in repulse. "I sure am glad to be undead!"

"These people… they don't feel anything but hatred." Sora said. "No wonder Xehanort wanted to conquer this world. …Come on, you two. He can't be very far from here."

The trio walked around the gorge, trying to ignore the sight. …Sora conjured a Drop Tower above the pit and smashed everyone inside, freeing them of their despair.

Leaving the Dark Empire, the group wandered into a winding path of mirrors. Some of their reflections became Anti versions of the kids, but they were quick to defend and strike back at the Heartless. They encountered a giant mirror that shot bullet-size light drops. Sora used Reflega to bounce the drops back, but they came back even bigger, Sora Reflected them bigger, and rinsed and repeated until the mirror was overwhelmed and destroyed.

The heroes entered the Land of Titans, where massive naked humanoids scooped Heartless up in their hands and devoured them like cereal pieces. Fueled with the power of darkness, the Titans were desperate for more. "'ey, let's ride that!" Kimaya perked up at the sight of a jeep.

"Sounds good to me!" Sora jumped in the driver's seat and began driving them across the valley. The earth rumbled when the Titans pursued them, neither Kimaya or Sora's light-bullets able to damage them.

"You know, I bet the ground here is just FILLED with corpses!" Django smirked and strummed his guitar. Skeletons suddenly ripped through the Titans' stomachs, slowing the demons down. "Or their stomachs. That works, too."

There was a long and massive wall in the distance, and Sora drove toward a broken gap in the wall. Everything began to look a posh, yet unnatural purple. "It's starting to look like Derse again." Sora said.

"I think I see people up there." Django pointed ahead.

When they were close to the people in question, Sora stopped the jeep. They made the short journey on foot, and Sora was surprised by the people in attendance. "It… can't be…" (Play "Black Powder" from _Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep_!)

Despite good efforts from either side, Xehanort was the victor in the battle. Negatar Gnaa and Avatar Aang, now cut free from his Capture Card, lay defeated on the ground, with Xehanort holding their hearts. "Seven Lights… Thirteen Darknesses… In my own universe, it was a prophecy to recreate the ultimate weapon." He made the hearts float into Davy Jones' body. Xehanort felt their presence and turned to greet his guests. "Sora… I'm glad you could finally make it."

"What have you done to Gnaa, Xehanort?!"

"I am on the verge of completing my experiment! Inside Davy Jones' body are seven pure hearts from the Dimensional Fusion 'Gameverse.' I will mix them with the souls of the Avatar and Negatar, along with my own Thirteen Darknesses, to construct the ultimate weapon: χ-BLADE! !"

"You're trying to make a Keyblade?" Kimaya questioned.

Xehanort formed the symbol with his hands in the air. "χ: a most ancient letter. Sometimes pronounced 'kye' or 'key.' It can also be known as 'chi,' which I'm sure your people are familiar with. But they all have the same meaning: death. The end of ALL things. The χ-blade once brought the destruction of my universe, and now it will be the end of yours! Because with the power of this marvel, I can even unlock the true darkness in Lord English's twisted heart! I WILL LIVE FOR ETERNITY AND LEARN ALL THERE IS TO KNOW OF **ALL** WORLDS! !

"…Oh, yes." Xehanort calmed down. "You must be wondering which Thirteen Vessels I plan to use? Well, say hello… to my Organization XIII!" Numerous figures in black coats appeared out of portals. Many of them resembled Xehanort, though with silver hair. "My Heartless, Ansem! My Nobody, Xemnas. My past self that possessed Terra, Terranort. My past self that possessed King Mickey and worked for the Illuminati. My past self that possessed Adam Sandler. My teenage self. My 10-year-old self. My 5-year-old self!" The 5-year-old Xehanort was playing with toy keys. "And let's not forget my volunteers: Braig, Isa, and Marluxia. Then, of course, there's me."

"That's only 12 of you, you egotistical dumbass!" Kimaya retorted.

"Not for long!" Xehanort stabbed his chest and extracted a piece of his heart. "Now that Gnaa's body is empty, I've decided he'll make the perfect thirteenth vessel!" The piece of heart entered Gnaa's body. His eyes and arrows sparked to life as his body shook. "Once my heart adapts with him, the χ-blade will be MINE!"

Sora leapt at Xehanort Keyblade drawn, the master dodging effortlessly. "Not if I have anything to say about it! Kimaya, Django, try to get his heart out of Gnaa's body!"

"You got it!" Kimaya readied her blades.

"You'll have to get past us first, kiddies!" Braig smirked, approaching alongside Isa and Marluxia.

"Is this really a 3-on-13 fight?" Django said.

"It's a good thing we undead…" Kimaya shook her head.

 _Boss fight: Xehanort_

Sora immediately threw up his Guard, knowing Xehanort would begin with a flurry of attacks, and he did. Xehanort conjured a circle of lasers with Sora at the center, but he used Reflega and redirected the attacks back at Xehanort. Sora attacked the scientist with rapid swings, only for Xehanort to retaliate by popping energy spires out of the ground. Sora was shot up into the air, and Xehanort seized the chance to lay an immense combo of blows before his opponent could hit the ground.

"SORA!" Kimaya cried, for the boy was terribly injured by the time he hit the ground.

Sora used Reflega to block the next attack, followed by Curaga to replenish his injuries. "Don't worry! I have a spell in affect that keeps me from getting killed before I have a chance to recover."

"Isn't that a bit overpowered?" Django questioned.

"Not in cases like this!" Sora blocked one of Xehanort's attacks and stabbed him back, then used Magnega to expel him away. They clashed Keyblades and exchanged a few cuts, and suddenly they both used Reflega, resulting in a collision that bounced them far across the field. Xehanort used a dark portal to warp over to Sora, who quickly countered with Thundaga.

"STOPAGA!" Xehanort froze Sora in time and dealt a furious combo from multiple directions. When Sora unfroze, he felt the pain of the strikes, but knowing Xehanort would attack again, he let his body fall down, and as predicted, the madman beat him around like a ragdoll. "Which spell are you using, Sora?! Once More? Second Chance?"

"STOP!" Sora froze Xehanort for a brief moment, healed himself, and Guarded the inevitable flurry rush once he unfroze.

"You and those amateurs won't stand a chance against the 13 of us. Why, they're nothing but BONES!" Xehanort chortled. "I won't be surprised if they have already been vanquished."

"Don't underestimate them!" Sora clashed keys with him. "I may not know a lot about those kids, but if they made it this far, they can go even farther!" Sora cast Firaga and Xehanort countered with Blizzaga, the opposing forces creating a cloud of steam. Sora got behind Xehanort and cast a heavy magnetic spell on him, drawing in nearby debris to crush the scientist. "But they can probably use my help." He ran in the direction of Kim and Django, yet couldn't get far when Xehanort repelled the debris off, warped ahead of Sora, and bounced him back with Reflect.

Meanwhile, Marluxia was rapidly swinging his scythe in defense against Kimaya's Keyblades. "Impossible… I stacked my deck with all 9 Cards. How is this child so strong?!"

Kimaya whacked the scythe across the air and channeled poison through her Keyblades, cutting Marluxia down with one more hit. "'Cause I got an ace, baby! Django, keep them notes comin'!"

"Wasn't planning to stop!" Django cheered, his fingers strumming the strings with unmatched speed.

"Stupid little bastard!" Braig took aim and shot at Django, but Kimaya zipped in front and hit the spear away, followed by quick strikes against the sniper. Isa flew over to attack with his claymore, to which Kimaya had to block with both Keyblades. Xemnas slid over and sliced Kim into pieces with his lightsabers, but her arms floated and clashed with the sabers as Kimaya's bones reassembled.

"Yo Django, how 'bout a little Fury?"

"If you think you got the bones for it!" Django tuned his guitar and strummed a new set of notes. His guitar glowed red as cracks brimmed along Kimaya's bones, poison seeping out of them. A red aura ignited around her body, and the smell forced the twelve Xehanorts to cover their noses. "I call this one… Rotting Corpse FURY!"

"And soon, this is gonna be Y'ALL'S bodies!" Kimaya rocketed skyward with a gutless fart, then charged a massive Gas Bomb on her Keyblades, hurdling it down and nuking all the Xehanorts away. Django withstood the gasplosion thanks to dead hands that had sprouted from the ground to grab his ankles under his call. Kimaya landed, but the Ansem Heartless appeared and sent the Guardian to attack her.

"SUBMIT!" shouted Ansem as the Guardian forced itself into Kim's body. "Now, open your-" Immediately, the Guardian flew out, coughing rampantly and clasping its chest.

"'Guess mah heart was too stanky for you!" Kimaya was easily able to attack Ansem with the Guardian weakened. Seeing the other Xehanorts returning, Kimaya hurdled Gas Bombs to keep them at bay, afterwards throwing her attention to Negatar Gnaa. "Speaking of which." She cast a beam from her Keyblade, aiming to release Xehanort's heart from it. Xemnas appeared in the way and deflected it with lightsabers. "You jackass!"

Xemnas shot lightning from his hands and binded Kimaya in place, but when Django tried to string a sonic wave at the Nobody, Marluxia beheaded the skeleton. "Ugh!" Kimaya grunted, her Fury Mode wearing off. Her bones were steadily cracking under Xemnas's power.

Sora jumped in the way of Xemnas's lightning and used Reflega to redirect it back at him. Kimaya immediately jumped to attack Marluxia, so Django could reattach his head. Xehanort caught up as all 12 of his incarnations surrounded them. "The three of you survived longer than I expected… but you will go no farther. Once the χ-blade is complete, in its pure, ripe form, I will be invincible! Farewell, Sora." Xehanort extended his key. "It's been… educational."

"HYAH! !" As if out of nowhere, Marluxia was struck by a giant scythe, wielded by a pigtailed girl in a school uniform.

"Hey, I remembuh her!" Kimaya shouted. "She's that girl from the Ghost Sector, right?!"

"Sector SCYTHE, that's correct!" Maka Albarn replied. "We thought you could use some help."

"I can't believe you started the party without us, Kimaya!" Beat and Rhyme flew in on a Song Road.

"These 12 fools are NOTHING to my godly might!" Black Star remarked, twirling his chain sickles.

"So, why don't we even the playing field?" Ellen Wickens floated down, her hands glowing with magic.

"They don't last a chance against us!" Rukia Kuchiki joined in, alongside Sector SOUL, which consisted of Norman Babcock, Coraline Jones, Jack Frost, and Jack Skellington. "GWAH HAH HAH!"

"Sweet!" Django grinned. "Now it's 13 vs. 12!"

"Not for long, you wretched urchins!" Xehanort stated, his head throbbing. "CRUSH THEM!"

While Sora went back to attacking Xehanort, Maka Albarn began clashing her scythe against Marluxia's. Despite hers being larger, the scythes seemed equal in strength. "Huh?!" She realized that flowers were now growing on her scythe, the vines beginning to wrap around and bind her. "AGH!" She was sliced against the hip by Marluxia's scythe.

"Sheesh, got a weed problem?!" Django about-faced and strummed a song to kill the flowers. Maka thanked him and made sure to dodge Marluxia's strikes, zipping behind and cutting him in the back. The plantbender willed flowers to grow around and emit a noxious fume, Maka holding her breath. Marluxia was able to block her scythe with his own, so she was forced to enter Witch-Hunt Fury. Her scythe shone with energy and grew larger, easily chopped the poison flowers and breaching Marluxia's scythe to damage him.

Black Star set his sights on Braig, swiftly swinging his sickles to deflect his energy bullets. The spacebender floated upside down to shoot Black Star from the air, dodging his sickles when he threw them up. Braig smirked and landed successful shots on the spike-haired boy, but was unaware that the chain sickles were wrapping around his legs. Black Star yanked the chains and slammed Braig against the ground, then he stomped the man's face. Braig warped above Black Star, shot bullets, then began to warp to multiple locations to shoot him while also confusing him. Growing angered, Black Star whirled his scythes in an orbital fashion at rapid speed, ensuring his radius was protected as he inevitably sliced Braig's eyepatch.

"Moon shine down!" Isa drew his own card that depicted a moon, allowing said moon to project in the sky as he drew power from it.

"You're not the only one who can harness the moon's magic!" Ellen declared, her magic power increasing. Isa began to slash his Claymore at the witch, Ellen dodging and casting spells from her hands. Isa slashed across the ground on his way to Ellen, creating blue flames, until black demonic arms emerged from Ellen's body and grabbed his Claymore. The two fought over the weapon before Isa released it and conjured another one. Ellen used magic and willed lightning to strike down, Isa blocking with his weapon, but this allowed Ellen to shoot a red spell and send him backward. The witch entered Hollowfication and emerged four demon arms from her being, all flying to pummel Isa as he struggled to defend himself.

Rukia Kuchiki clashed her Zanpakutō against Xemnas's lightsabers, the Nobody performing graceful spins and flips to attack her from all directions. Xemnas was not slowed down by her blocks, but Rukia channeled Ice Chi to her feet to freeze the ground and ski away. Xemnas shot lasers that Rukia countered with icicles, and when Xemnas warped behind her, she ducked and stabbed him, freezing his stomach. Xemnas flew up and conjured the Storm of a Thousand Lasers, so Rukia mustered every ounce of her Ice Chi to freeze every single laser as it was flying toward her.

Jack Frost was also attacking Ansem with icebending, but his Guardian countered the beams with its darkness. Jack Frost formed snow in the air and turned them into clones of himself, and they all skied in circles as the Guardian randomly changed position, unable to focus on any one. This allowed Jack to shoot massive ice tridents to stab Ansem. The Heartless decided to take cover inside a bubble on the Guardian's stomach, followed by throwing dark boomerangs around to slice the Jack clones. Jack formed a giant snowman over his body and jumped high into the air, coming down to crush Ansem.

Kimaya was clashing Keyblades against the teenage Xehanort, the same one she once escorted back on Radiant Guardian. "You know, part of me thought we'd actually be buds back then." Kimaya remarked. "Didn't think you'd be a time-traveling lunatic."

"Quit reminiscing and keep killing!" Beat sang, riding a Hollowfied Rhyme as they shot Song Beams at Terranort. "More blood be spilling, this battle's way too thrilling! Yo, Jack Frost just gave THAT one a chilling!"

"And not where he wants it!" Rhyme remarked.

"I can't believe we got stuck with these small fry!" Norman remarked, shooting Ecto Beams at 10-year-old Xehanort.

"At least we're helping out!" Coraline said, ensnaring 5-year-old Xehanort in a giant doll and tightening it with strings.

Jack Skellington was strangling Mickey Xehanort with his Soul Robber. "You know, the real Mickey Mouse once tried to buy Nightmare Enterprises." Jack said with a scowl. "My father said 'no.' He's got enough properties already."

As Xehanort was still struggling against Sora, he glanced around at all his selves: Maka used Demon-Hunt Fury to cut down Marluxia's Fury Mode, Rukia directed all the frozen lasers back at Xemnas, and Ellen was beginning to claw out Isa's yellow eyes. "Is that a sweatdrop, Xehanort?" Sora asked with a smirk.

"I can't believe these spirit brats are this strong! Wait…" It was then Xehanort took notice of Django, who had been strumming his guitar this whole time.

"Today is the day, we got tired of waiting! We don't need nights because we're short-tempered!" As Django glowed with red aura, Kimaya and the spirit operatives seemed to grow stronger.

"Today is the day!" Jack Skellington added his own Music Chi. "We're aiming towards a new dawn! All our doubts are gone, let's move along!"

"They're increasing the power of their allies!" Xehanort exclaimed. "GHH!" He dropped his guard and was stabbed by Sora.

"There's no way for you to win now!"

"So you think! DO IT, SANDLERNORT!"

The Adam Sandler Xehanort nodded, mustering a massive surge of power. He flew to the sky, and a gargantuan Heartless ship POOFED out of thin air. It had multiple cannons, a figurehead with a gaping mouth, and seats for every Xehanort. All his versions abandoned their battles and warped up to take their seats. They all contributed power as a tremendous laser began to form in the figurehead.

"W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W…" Kimaya, Sora, and the others stuttered with absolute fear. The sight before them was too terrifying for words.

"Yes… the fear in your hearts smells DELICIOUS!" Xehanort smiled ecstatically. "AND ONCE YOU ARE GONE, THE χ-BLADE IS MINE!"

"We ain't scared of your ship, dumbass!" Kimaya shouted. "We freakin' scared of THAT! !"

"Huh?" Xehanort faced up at the sky in confusion. "Ack-!" He turned pale, his jaw nearly falling off.

It appeared that a gigantic boy in a hood was dwarfing the entire moon with his colossal size. "IT'S KALEO!" Beat exclaimed. "He finally made it!"

"KALEO?!" Kimaya screamed. "H-H-How big is he?!"

"Big enough to squash this place like a grape."

 _"Duuuuuuurrrr…"_ By using his Giant-Giant Fruit to increase to such a size, it was clear he had no brain power left. _"Uuuuurrrr…"_ His godly hands were positioned on either side of Derse. Some undefined instinct in his being was compelling him to squash it.

"GET OUT OF HERE, XEHANO-!" Xehanort couldn't finish his order before-

"SUH-PRISE!" Kimaya had been thrown up to the ship, and she farted a giant Gas Bomb to drown the Xehanorts in noxious gas that only a corpse could reek.

 _"UUUUURRRR!"_ Kaleo's mighty hands made contact, completely flattening the entire Kingdom of Darkness. The Spirit KND channeled their energy to make the physical people intangible until Kaleo brought his hands apart. As they floated about the purple debris, Django played his guitar to restore Kimaya's shattered bones. The twelve Xehanorts were protected by a barrier formed by the main one, but their ship was reduced to nothing, and they had no more strength to continue fighting. (End song.)

"Reducio!" Xehanort cast a spell to shrink Kaleo down, gasping for breath. "Huff…huff… You brats have gotten on my last nerve." He weakly raised his Keyblade to heal himself. "I will not be defeated. I will form the χ-blade if it's the last thing I-"

Sora grabbed Kim and cried, "STOPZA!" There was a white flash from his Keyblade. Everything around them had frozen. Sora and Kimaya were the only ones mobile. "Huff…huff… That wasted a lot of magic power."

"Whoa, man! You froze time?!"

"Yeah, a friend taught me that spell… but I doubt it'll hold long. Listen, Kimaya, we can't waste any more time fighting him. We have to save the rest of our friends. I'm going to try and free the hearts from Davy Jones. But after we do, I want you and these guys to escape. You can get away on this." Sora conjured an energy roller coaster that stretched up into the sky. "When you're out of this planet's atmosphere, I want you to use the Sealing Charm on it. You know, the one that makes locks."

"But what're you gonna do?"

Sora pulled himself to his feet. He pointed the Keyblade at his heart and impaled himself. "Nngh…" A small light came out. Sora willed it to float into Kimaya's empty ribcage.

"The fuck?"

"I did what Xehanort did… I cut out a piece of my heart and gave it to you. Where I'm from, our powers stem from the strength of our hearts, so this should make you just a little bit stronger. It's not how I hoped to train you, but it's all I can do for now." He sported a grin. "Now then…" Sora ran up to Davy Jones and STABBED him with the Keyblade.

Time returned to normal flow. "WHAT?!" Xehanort whipped around at them. The hearts came flying out of Jones' body, scattering. "NO! THE HEARTS!"

Sora jumped to attack him. "KIMAYA, GET GOING!"

"Wait, what's going—WHOA!" Django tried to say before Kim grabbed him and jumped on the coaster. "The rest o' you, get awn! We'll get Leo on the way!" They were confused, but the spirit operatives decided to obey, the coaster soon to take off for the heavens. Xehanort clenched his teeth and glared at Sora.

"You think you saved them, Sora? You must know by now that Lord English has overpowered the Kids Next Door. The pure hearts will be in my possession again before too long."

"Not if you can't get to them first!" Sora raised his Keyblade skyward and fired a beam.

Once the coaster had taken them beyond the dark planet, Kimaya cast her own beam from both Keyblades. The beams connected with Sora's, creating a light that encased the whole of Derse. The Kingdom of Darkness vanished as if it was never there. "Where did it… go?" asked Django.

Having completed the sealing, Sora used the Keyblade as a crutch for his weary body. "I know you turned this place into a portal to the Realm of Darkness. Kimaya and I just sealed the portal. Until they're able to rescue their friends, I think they can do without YOU getting in their way."

"We'll escape, boy! You forget who commands the Heartless of this realm!"

Xehanort charged to attack Sora, but a psychic bubble appeared over the boy, expanding to blow them back. Negatar Gnaa warped to Sora's side. "And you forget who commands the Darkness, Xehanort. I will not allow you to harm my FRIENDS!"

 **Hivebent**

The operatives stared in awe when four hearts flew into the base. One popped into Fybi's body, one into Suki's, and both girls gasped back to life.

In the infirmary, Aeincha's little heart returned to her, the tiny looking around in confusion. And Mason was filled with excitement when Sheila's heart returned. "Mmm…uuh…" The Faunus's eyes finally opened, refilling with life and light.

"SHEILA! You're awake! How do you feel?"

"M…Mason… My…" Sheila threw up her fists, kicked her legs, and screamed, "MY BODY FEELS LIMPER THAN A FUZZY PILLOW! !"


	29. Shoosh Pap

**Nothing livens the mood like G/T fanservice. :)**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-29: Shoosh Pap_**

 **Hivebent**

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, ya crazy sheila?!" cried Sheila, clasping April's shirt collar with her feet pressed against the artist's chest. "Don't you go tellin' me Cheren's been brainwashed by that fatarse!"

"Er, I'm afraid it's true, Sheila." April replied nervously. "But we're thinking of a way to save him. Hopefully, it doesn't come to the worst."

"Maaaaaan." Sheila's head hung back, crying. "This is the worst adventure evah. Not only 'as Cheren lost it, but me body feels dead as the dickens." With that, she plopped down on the floor. "You guys must've been to so many cool planets already… and all I got to see was a bloody pirate world. I SEE PIRATES EVERY DAY! ! Errrrgh!" Sheila tried to lift a leg. "What in blazes is wrong with me?"

"It might have something to do with how you defeated Blackbeard." Mason said, pulling Sheila to her feet. "You know, when you drank the Sun Flurp mixed with Everbubble Fizz? That was overdoing it, even for you. You could've really hurt your chi paths."

"THEN FIX THEM, Mason, HURRY!"

"I'm not the doctor, Haruka is! But she went to rescue Cheren with the others…"

"At least wwe can safely assume that Xeha has been dealt wwith." Eridan said, looking at Kanaya's computer over her shoulder. "But it seems the intensity of the battle has wwiped Derse from the face of the univverse."

"The Dimension Rebels Are Going To Recover Kimaya And Django." Kanaya reported. "It Doesn't Seem Like Defeating Xehanort Reduced The Heartless Population. They're Already Being Surrounded."

"I don't care about them!" Chimney stated. "WHERE THE HELL IS MY GONBE?! I thought beatin' Whatshisname would bring him back!"

"No offense, Chimney, but I think Cheren takes priority." Apis said.

Chimney glared at her. "You're dead to me, Apis-chan."

"Hey, HEY!" Viridi materialized from a beam of light. Beside her was Death the Kid. "Your favorite goddess has returned!"

"What is this I hear about Cheren turning into Lord English?!" Kid shouted.

"A mistake is what it is." Nebula marched forward. "The transformation is apparently tied to Cheren's god powers. Do you remember the poison he used to defeat Viridi?" Said goddess stuck her tongue out. "If Cheren were to drink that, would he go back to normal?"

"I don't know, it was my father that gave it to him. Besides… that was the last Poison of the Gods in existence. That substance was too toxic to keep in production. Pity that it would have to be wasted on a petty child goddess."

"Serves you RIGHT." retorted Viridi.

"Then… we've lost our first option." Nebula sighed.

"The guilt burdens me." Fybi frowned. "Had I not breathed the Winds of Truth, he would not hath awakened the evil inside him."

"But Something Doesn't Make Sense." Kanaya said. "Vaati Said That Lord English Feared The Winds Of Truth. He Wanted Typheus Destroyed. So, Why Did He Need The Winds Of Truth To Awaken Cheren?"

"Thine words hold logic! Mayhaps we art missing a part of the solution. Yet, my breath holds no effect on Lord English's misdeeds. What am I overlooking?!" Fybi gripped her head in both hands.

"I dunno, mate." Sheila said nonchalantly. "But do ya think your Truth Wind can make me not feel limp?"

"Sigh… I shalt try." Fybi approached and breathed glowing wind over Sheila's body.

"I wanna punch me teachers in the noggins! And when me mum tells me not to, I mumble 'Like I'll listen to the drunk.'"

Mason and co. were baffled. "Nice to know, Sheila."

Sheila spun her fist to charge light, but only a small flicker resulted. "Darn it! It didn't work at all!"

"It seemeth this power dost not treat injuries. Had I only known, I would not hath fallen for Vriska's trickery."

" " Chelan hummed a little tune, gliding over Fybi.

"Oh? Hm hm!" Fybi smiled. "I thank thee for thine concern."

"You understood her?" Aisa asked.

"Thou didst not? Chelan claims that I shouldst not let guilt plague me so. 'Tis agreeable that thou wouldst miss that. Mayhaps the Winds of Truth enable me to better detect meaning in words and gestures."

" " Chelan danced over to the computer, much to Kanaya's confusion.

"Thou requests to view Planet Seemwy?" (see-em-wy)

"Seemwy?" Kanaya typed in the planet's name. "You Mean This One, Right? The Land Of Light And Rain." She displayed a beautiful planet of cyan, magenta, and yellow colors.

" " Chelan danced to the tune.

"She claims the planet is composed of pure light with not a speck of darkness. It may be able to revitalize Sheila's chi paths."

"SWEET! Oi'm up for THAT!" Sheila cheered. "Get me to that planet ASA-Pronto!"

" "

"Thou wishest me to come, too? Very well. Sheila may require the protection, given her weakened state."

"I ain't going without my first mate!"

"I wasn't thinking of letting you go alone!" Mason beamed, excited to have his friend back at last.

"Come back soon, Maseyfairy!" Carol waved joyfully. "Bring us back a postcard!"

"Last one to the ship is waving my flag-!" Sheila ran for the hangar—and tripped.

Mason laughed, going to lift her up. "The last one there is gonna have to carry you around, heh heh." Chelan and Fybi flew after them.

 **Planet Seemwy**

The Land of Light and Rain was an oceanic world, the waves reflecting the same magenta, cyan, and golden colors in every direction you look. The clouds were gold, and they continuously poured golden rain as though it fell from the sun. Ironically, no sun hovered above this world, yet the sea still bathed in eternal day.

The three operatives and Chelan landed on a magenta island, defined by an enormous turtle shell at the top of a mountain. The soil around the island was decorated by white sand. "Oi, this sand feels just like chalk!" Sheila exclaimed as she wiggled her toes in the soft gravel. "It reminds me when I was a tyke and drew on me own feet. And this RAIN!" Sheila held her mouth wide open, catching golden raindrops. "It's so DELICIOUS! ! I never ever EVER wanna sleep again if I miss out on stuff this tasty and cool!"

"Indeed, being in this air giveth me more energy than I canst comprehend!" Fybi twirled in the sky. "I believest Sheila's chi will be restored in time. But why hast thou requested my presence here?"

" " Chelan hummed.

"This realm canst maketh me stronger as well? I believeth thee… and I am also curious about that strange shell perched up top."

"No one puts a shell on a mountain wifout ME goin' to look at it! C'mon, Mason, we need to pump the adventure back in our legs!" Sheila did a leap before racing up the shore.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Captain!" Mason chased after her. (Play "Light" from _Homestuck_!)

 _Stage F-22: Land of Light and Rain_

 _Mission: Get to the mountaintop turtle shell!_

Mason and Sheila encountered cyan crabs that emerged from the sand, easy prey for Sheila to dash behind and kick their weak spots. The shore reached its end as they would have to cross a bay. "I'm up for a nice swim!" Sheila dove into the wonderful water, followed by Mason, basking in its heavenly light. Small cyclones emerged from the sea, drawing the children closer. Fybi flew above and shot arrows at the water under the cyclones, disrupting their current and disabling them.

The duo came to rest on a small island, facing a pillar across some water. Updrafts seemed to flow out from the surface, circling the pillar. Sheila used her tail propeller to float in the updrafts, while Mason used poisonbending… in a socially unacceptable manner. On the pillar, a pile of rocks seemed to be covering another draft. "Oi dunno about you, Mason, but I reckon that swim rejuvenated a bit of juice!" Sheila spun her fist, charged light, and shattered the rocks, creating an updraft that blew partway up the mountain.

The friends rode the draft and set foot on white sand, within a small gorge. They entered a wider area where colored beings called Imps were drawing chalk designs around the walls. " " Chelan hummed.

"Chelan says thither be a passage on one of these walls, the switch disguised by the chalk." Fybi translated. "Be wary, for thou shalt anger the Imps for disrupting their work."

"I'm not scared." Sheila started spinning on her toes, using a fraction of lightbending to spin quickly, and used her tail to wipe away the chalk. The Imps grew angry and charged to attack her, but Sheila lit her fists and began a beatdown. Mason drunk some Purple Flurp to increase his strength and help defend her, quickly taking down the 10 Imps.

"You're still recovering, Sheila, don't overdo it… yet." Mason said. He saw a rectangle shape in one of the walls and went to press it, opening a cave. The inside of the cave was not any less bright, as small waterfalls poured from the ceiling into ponds. They followed the path between the ponds to a large underground river.

"I reckon me legs had enough time ta wake up!" Sheila flexed her legs. "Mason, hold on ta me, I'll get us across! The light in this water oughta make it easier." She grabbed Mason's arm, sent Light Chi to her feet and treaded across the river. Golden Sun Piranhas jumped out, but Sheila hit them away with her Keyblade. The river sloped upward, slightly hindering Sheila with gravity, but she stayed strong and kept running, maneuvering around rocks. The river led outside and ended (or rather started) at a shore.

Just after the shore was a cliff overlooking a lake of colored water. There were several cloud platforms leading across and to another cliff. They were too far apart to float to (especially since Sheila would need to carry Mason), so the Faunus shot Light Spheres to puff the clouds bigger. "Okay, Mason, on my shoulders." Mason sat himself on her as Sheila lit up her feet once more and jumped across the clouds before they would shrink again. They set foot on the cliff and jumped up some platforms where more water flowed down.

Before long, they were at the stairs leading to Tortoise Peak. Water flowed down the stairs from the shell's entrance. Mason and Sheila excitedly ran up—"Yipe!" Mason slipped and fell back down.

"Chelan claims that some parts of the stairs are in reality slopes." Fybi said. "The light maketh it difficult to spot."

"Mason, just stay behind and catch me." Sheila ordered. The boy caught back up as Sheila tried to run up still, slipping on flat spots with Mason to catch her. She kept trying until she found the right areas, eventually reaching the giant shell. The three operatives and Chelan followed the shallow river inside and discovered a golden fountain. There was a troll bathing in the light. (End song.)

"YoUr frienD has met with a terrible fate, hasn't he?" The troll turned, removing a familiar grinning mask. His own grin was charming and his shirt depicted a red smiley.

"Oh! A friend of thine?" Fybi asked Chelan.

"Of CoUrse… yoU Do not know my trUe form. My name is SanUla, anD yoU may remember me from Cheren's enCoUnter with Majora."

Mason gasped. "That mask! You're the Happy Mask Man! So, you were a troll all along?"

"Yes. I will spare yoU my history with Majora… for it seems yoUr fUtUre is very bleak."

"Wherefore dost thou speak of such?" asked Fybi.

"Cheren has awoke as LorD English's pawn, hasn't he? I knew for a long time this Day woUlD Come."

"What do you mean you knew?" asked Mason.

"I was tolD to hiDe here from The Thirteen. This planet woUlD be toxiC to their Dark natUres." Sanula reached in his pocket and presented a tiny vial with bubbling pinkish-red liquid and a skull cap.

"Oi, that bottle!" Sheila exclaimed. "It's the same one Cheren used with Viridi!"

"The Poison of the Gods…" Mason said softly. "Does that mean… we can really save Cheren if we give him this?"

"Cheren is still mortal, even with GoD Tier powers. However… yoU may still be able to save him."

" "

"Thou sayest Sheila and I must combine our chi after we drink from the fountain?" Fybi translated. "But what shalt this accomplish?"

" "

"Thou request only to trust you… Chelan, thou seemeth most suspicious as of late. Art thou not telling us something?"

". . ." Chelan covered her mouth with her sleeve.

"…Thou wishes not to tell me. Then I shalt not force the words out of thee." She faced the fountain. "Sheila, let us drink."

"YAHOOOO!" The excited raccoon dove into the fountain and let water pour in her mouth. _"Thi' i' th' b't S'nn' D nnvrr! (This is the best Sunny D ever!)"_

"Hm hm hm!" Fybi giggled and floated over. "I believeth I will bring some to Anthony."

Chelan smiled. She closed her eyes and began to pray.

 **Hivebent**

Maddy visited the cafeteria and got a light-purple soda from the refrigerator. "O)(, you like Squid Soda too, )(u)(?" said Feferi, approaching Maddy with her own can.

"Uh… I guess so?" In truth, Maddy didn't know what it was. She tried it anyway, and the taste was funky.

"So, )(ow is C)(ris? Is )(e still snapping about like a piran)(a?"

 _Those are supposed to be 'H's, right?_ "Yes, he is. I let Melody look after him. Sigh, after all that's been happening, I dunno what to think, anymore. I have a headache."

"Yea)(, it's urchin my brain, too. I t)(oug)(t me and Vriska were best buds… We even knew each other before the Apocalypse )(it. )(er town )(ad a beach, so that's where we would sometimes meet."

"Then do you know anything about this Tavros she mentioned?"

"Yea)(, she used to tell me about someone like that. Said she bullied )(im a bunch, glub-glub!" she chuckled.

"AAAAAHHH!" Melody charged in, her chlorophyll-filled head on fire. "GIVE ME THAT, NOW!" She snatched Maddy's drink and doused herself. "Huff…huff… Why would I EVER genetically alter myself like this?! HUH, LORD ENGLISH?!"

"Maddy, what happened?!"

"Chris looked hungry, so I tried to feed him, but when I opened the jar, he jumped out and shot me with a laser!"

 _"And I wasn't FINISHED!"_

"AAAAHH!" The tiny Chris bit Melody in the neck and lit her on fire again.

"CHRIS, STOP!" Maddy shouted.

 _"Tell that spacebender to restore me to full size or I'll destroy this plant brat from the inside out!"_

 _"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?!"_ yelled another squeaky voice.

 _"Who said that?!"_ Chris looked around. He gasped, spotting the tiny troll across the lunch room floor.

 _"You've been REALLY pissing me off, you AND that crappy brother of yours! Since I can't kick HIS ass, I'll settle for YOURS!"_

Chris growled and jumped off Melody. _"Fine! I can go for some CRAB!"_

"Wow, this is… adorable?" Maddy said uncertainly.

"Karkat, what the crab are you thinking?!" Feferi questioned.

 _"GRAAAAAAH!"_ Chris charged with the full force of Fiery Fury.

"CHRIS! !" Maddy leapt forth to grab her friend before he did the worst.

 _"Shooooooooooo…"_ Karkat lightly tapped his finger on Chris's monstrous mouth.

 _"Growwwwlll…"_

 _"Shooooooo…"_ Karkat continued, despite Chris's anger.

"What is he… doing?" asked Maddy.

"It's the shoosh pap." Feferi answered. "It's a trick Karkat learned from Tamatoa. Calmed )(im down when )(e was a pupa."

 _"Shooooooo…"_ Chris's fire slowly died down. A soothed look was on his face. Karkat hugged and patted his back. "It's okay…"

Maddy and Feferi knelt over them. "Awww… you really calmed him." Maddy smiled.

"You make a good papa, Karkat!" B8) Feferi grinned.

 _"SHUT UP."_

 **Living room**

"Sigh… eh…" Chris felt a pain in his head and the worst case of insomnia. When he came to, he was staring up at Maddy's worried eyes. "Maddy?" He looked around and realized he was in her hands. "Uh… why does this feel familiar?"

"It must be symbolism." She cracked a smile. "Do you remember _anything_ you were just doing?"

"Uh… no… I just remember Malladus. He kept laughing and driving me crazy… But I guess I lost more than brain cells. What exactly happened to him? Grandfather?"

"I wouldn't know because he was gone after I got there. But something else happened you need to know about."

Maddy recapped Vriska's explanation. "Cheren was a Darkness… I can't believe it."

"Now we're trying to figure out a plan. Some are even thinking about killing Cheren."

"What?! They can't!"

"Well, most of us are against it! Still… we don't have too many other options. And we can't just sit around and wait for a miracle."

"GUESS who's back with the solution to ALL our problems!" announced Sheila Frantic upon return to Hivebent.

"Maddy, I think you forgot what happened at Enies Lobby." Chris smirked.

"Check it out, everyone!" Mason removed the poison from his pocket. "We met this troll on Planet Seemwy and he gave us this!"

"A Poison of the Gods?!" Death the Kid exclaimed, anger in his eyes. "How on earth would you have that?! That is a forbidden drug known only to the Royal Family!"

"YoU mUst UnDerstanD!" Sanula raised his hands in panic. "I meant no harm, honestly! I stole the poison 5,000 years ago, and only beCaUse someboDy askeD me to! They wanteD me to keep it all this time…"

 _"Just when I was wondering where you were in all this shit!"_ Karkat squeaked, riding Nepeta's head. _"Where the fuck were you, Sanula?!"_

Sanula perked up when he saw the little troll. "YoU're so CUte, I want to kiss yoU." 83

 _"I'LL KILL YOU! !"_ Karkat tried to scamper him, but Nepeta pinned him by the shirt, so he merely ran in place.

"Canst we discuss our confusions later?" Fybi asked. "The point being we may yet be able to rescue Cheren. Alas, it will be a difficult endeavor. We must first infiltrate the world Lord English hath constructed from Cheren's body."

"Very well, but I have every intention of questioning you when this is over." Kid pointed his scythe at Sanula threateningly. "In any case, now that this war is entering its final stages, I suppose I should provide some aid."

"I feel like sUCh a terrible person now." D,: Sanula wept. "Perhaps another gift will menD the woUnD. May this sUffiCe?" He showed them a Catch Card. Inside was a familiar priestess girl eating grapes.

"It's Index!" Apis exclaimed.

"I foUnD her on my travels! She was terribly hUngry, so I've been Using magiC to plaCe fooD into her CarD. What an aDorable little one!" Sanula brushed the card on his cheek.

"STOP IT, you're squishing the grapes!" shouted Index.

"This means we should have everyone that was turned into cards." April realized. "Everyone is safe now."

"Everyone Except Those In English's World." Kanaya reported. "There's A Portal On Alternia Close To Ganon's Castle. An Ugly One At That…" Indeed, the screen depicted an imperfect MS Paint circle. "It Probably Leads To Where Cheren Is. And Grandfather's Guarding It!" Indeed, the demonic shadow was looming over the portal.

Chris gasped. For a moment, his demonic instincts wanted to kick in, but he restrained himself. "Let's go!" Maddy said, hopping off the couch energetically. "Chris and I can handle Grandfather while you rescue Cheren!"

"What?" Chris was surprised. "You're really gonna let me fight Grandfather again after I went nuts?"

"Well, this time, I'll be fighting him with you! And I'll teach you how to do it right." She winked.

"…Hn hn!" Chris smirked and winked back.

 **Engy's World**

 **"In today's orgy-filled episode, an evil guy by the name of Rotting Piss Teeth is trying to make kids eat piss and rot their teeth, but Blonde Bitch From _Pokémon_ kisses Useless Green Sweater and destroys Rotting Piss Teeth with the powerful love!"** The characters in question were Aurora, Francis, and Knightbrace. **"'WHAT A BEAUTIFUL STORY,' everyone says! BECAUSE FRIENDSHIP IS THE HOTTEST THING! And everyone demands more, SO I GIVE 'EM SOME! Now Blue Bitch decides she likes Purple Prick** (Wendy and Romeo) **, so she goes to him. Her friendship power is SO STRONG, she is BLUSHING, and Purple Prick decides, 'I gotta GET ME some of that!' So, they hold hands. AND EVERYONE WORSHIPS THEIR LOVE! BROOO HA HA HA!**

 **"I cannot wait until the entire universe loves like these two!"** proclaimed English as Bill walked into his casino. **"Pretty soon, the entire universe will love my love, and they will want to bathe in it! Because what ignorant little piss would refuse love?! LOVE IS LIFE! !"**

"Yes, My Lord, who indeed!" Bill chortled. He turned away, shuddering in horror.


	30. Sister

**I think the 30th chapter calls for something special.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-30: Sister_**

 **Alternia**

Grandfather sipped from a bowl of tapioca, wistfully guarding the portal to Engy's World. He examined the burning, demon-infested landscape under the red sky. Ganondorf controlled this whole planet, and before long Lord English would control the whole multiverse. "What am I even _doing_ here? I thought I was the most powerful being in the world… but these monsters treat me like a mere guard dog! And that boy… hoo-oo-oo. I hope I never encounter that one aga-"

Faster than he could comprehend, two fists seemed to blast down from the heavens and PUNCH Grandfather simultaneously. He flew across the valley as Chris and Maddy landed on their feet. "Hurry, guys, go in!" Maddy shouted.

"Bring Cheren back to us!" followed Chris.

"No worries!" Zach yelled, running with super speed and pulling a train that carried Sheila and Fybi. "Round and round and round she goes!" He ran in a zigzag line, ramming countless demons and flinging them skyward. "Where it stops, whenever Maddy lets me copy off her homework! Next stop, Stupidville!" They vanished into the MS Portal.

Grandfather came flying back over in a rage. "YOU AGAIN! Still haven't had enough, have you?!"

"I might've lost my marbles the first time, but it won't be the same this time! Me and Maddy will defeat you together!"

"First of all, brat, it's 'Maddy and I'! Grammar! And second, you're off your noggin if you think I'll let you get the better of me! I'll burn you to a crisp and finally show these demons that **I** am their SUPERIOR!" (Play "Vs. Malladus Part 2" from _Zelda: Spirit Tracks_!)

 _Boss fight: Grandfather_

Grandfather cast a wall of fire, dividing Chris from Maddy. Maddy leapt in with active Haki Fury, punching away Grandfather's flames, then dodging his heat vision. Grandfather shot up and grabbed Maddy's Haki fists, unable to spread his curse to her, and giving Chris the chance to fly up and kick him in the face. Chris formed flame swords and ran up to slash Grandfather, who would then fly away and burn twin beams of fire into the ground.

"CHRIS!" Maddy pulled her friend away before a greater beam sprouted up from below him.

"Thanks, Mad! How 'bout a little team-attack action?"

"You said it!" Chris leapt so Maddy could grab his ankle. The girl spun around on one foot, her Haki giving her super speed, and fire was added to the twister when Chris ignited his body. Grandfather flew skyward to be at a safe distance from them, but the demon was mistaken as Maddy HURDLED Chris like a rocket, RAMMING Grandfather headfirst! Chris grabbed the elder and kicked on rocket boots to shoot back to the ground, where Maddy waited to PUNCH him with a charged Haki fist. "AUGH, my back! Perhaps you need another demonstration of my evil powers! Such as my innate ability to make things float into the air!" Grandfather willed the debris around him to levitate and swirl above like a maelstrom. "Ooooo! Pretty spooky, right?"

"No, and the ghost sounds don't help." Chris said.

"He's gonna start throwing 'em! Chris, use Combustion Beam, I'll tell ya where to shoot." Chris readied his third eye and shot beams where Maddy directed, taking out large chunks of debris. Smaller rocks were thrown toward him, and since they were too small for Chris to hit, Maddy took the liberty of punching them away. "Watch out!" Grandfather swooped down in attempt to grab Chris, but Maddy clasped the demon's wrists and bashed him around the ground. She threw the dizzied Grandfather skyward while Chris leapt to kick him away.

Grandfather ceased the telekinesis and made fire swirl rapidly in his hands, changing them into flaming tornados. Chris ran and grabbed the stem of one of the twisters, swinging at Grandfather, who clasped the opposite end of it. The middle of the twister puffed like a balloon and POPPED, blowing both fighters back. Maddy used the chance to leap over and lay a beatdown on Grandfather. The demon slapped her off and fired a giant ball of flame into the sky. It exploded, raining fire down into tiny, but painful droplets. Thankfully, Chris could stay close to Maddy and throw up a shield of fire. "Not the worst attack in his arsenal!"

"So you think!" Grandfather smirked. In that instant, the little droplets grew arms and legs and leapt at the kids with bullet speed. Maddy rapidly swung her fists to punch some away while Chris absorbed them with his own fire. "You may be strong… but NO child can command the power of LIGHTNING!" Grandfather surged red lightning in his fingers and cast them at Chris. The boy held his fingers at the ready and caught the lightning, letting it flow through his body before striking him back. "AAAAAHHH!"

"Nice shot, Chris!"

Grandfather had fallen on the ground, panting and sparking. "You rotten kids…" He sat up, gripping his shoulder. "You've done nothing but humiliate me… Do you know what it's like to be a powerful demon elder and not earn a shred of respect from your peers? Those fools who call themselves The Thirteen… I will have their respect by the end of this, one way or ano-!"

Maddy leapt for a Haki kick from Grandfather's side, then Chris dealt a fire kick under his chin. Back and forth and back and forth they bonked him before one last upper-cut from Maddy sent him flying. "Let's finish this, partner."

"You got it, Mads." Both fighters hugged. Chris kicked on his rockets and blasted up to Grandfather, spinning as both their chis combined. Both raised a single fist, fire mixed with Haki, and locked with Grandfather's gut. They kept flying and flying, going beyond the atmosphere of the planet.

 _This…This can't be. I am Benedict Uno… the King of the World. Every human on the planet was my slave. Nothing could destroy me! Yet, these children… These children are unreal._

He remembered the one thousand tapioca factories he forged with his own powers, the legions of Senior Citizombified children that obeyed his every whim.

 _"Oh, you want to fight me, do ya?" Ganondorf told him with a vicious smirk, his Devil Sword drawn. "Well then… come at me!"_

 _"I will only accept you as my servant." DIO told him with a cold stare. "Otherwise, you are not worth my time." He walked away._

 _"You're kind of tough, old guy!" Blackbeard said after beating him up. "Why don't you join my crew?"_

 _"Those were my servants." Thanos said after Grandfather zombified a bunch of people. "You're a million years too early to challenge me." With a flick of the wrist, his zombies reverted to normal._

 _"Your powers do not affect me." Yellow Diamond stated. "Do not ever touch me again."_

 _"Look, Gramps, I know you were the boss in your homeworld," Bill said, "but in this place, we're the law. So, get ahold of yourself."_

 _I…I want to go home! I want my tapioca! My zombie army! I want to be the most powerful being in the world again! I can't stand this world, anymore! I can't stand these children! I can't stand these adults! I WANNA GO HOOOOME!_

"Here They Come!" Kanaya exclaimed. "Quick, Open The Chamber! We Have Five Seconds!"

They rocketed straight into Hivebent's hangar, through the base, and then Chris stopped them just before they flew into the Penance Chamber. Grandfather was flung inside due to momentum, then Ford quickly slammed the chamber shut. The demon's shadowy essence disappeared, unveiling his feeble human form underneath. "Ahh, tapioca sauce." (End song.)

"Sigh… That was… surprisingly easy." Chris smiled.

"If only you asked me to help in the first place, we could've avoided your whole side-struggle." Maddy punched his shoulder.

"Well, I like to think I wore his health down a bit!" he shrugged.

"Excellent job, guys!" April praised. "It looks like this chamber really _did_ cancel Grandfather's powers. I'm going to look for Sunni and Mary." She zapped a painting with her Keyblade and jumped into the Art World.

"We're not done yet, Chris." Maddy said. "We have to get back down and guard that portal. You know Ganon's gonna send minions to keep them from saving Cheren."

"I'm ready when you are!"

"Ain't I always!" The two raced to the exit.

 **Engy's World**

The four Lights were royally baffled by the sight of this world. "Oi… this is…" Sheila said.

"Weird." Zach followed.

They had never seen their world stylized in such an atrocious manner. The people were nothing more than squares with line arms and legs. Their tops were colored to imply heads, but their expressions were… so dead and unlikable. The brown paint in the sky read _Gayverse_. "Pray… this is what Lord English doth have in store for our world." Fybi said.

"Blimey, I never not wanted to explore a new place more." Sheila shook her head.

 **"Would my new friends like to play?"**

And there was the most terrifying sight on this planet: Lord English peering over them like a girl over a toy box, grinning so wide, his smile could suck out your soul. **"Sister, you're back! I was wondering where you'd gone. Are you here to say you're sorry? Are you ready to be part of my world?"**

"Who in blazes is he calling his sister?!" Sheila exclaimed.

"I believest he refers to our statuses as Lights. Mayhaps he sees us as Calliope and believes we think as she dost."

"I don't care what 'e thinks! Give us back Cheren, ya bloody codpiece! And turn our mates back to their normal selves!"

 **"Everyone is so happy here, Sister! You have to be crazy to hate this happiness! Please join me, Calliope. Any dumbass is smart enough to know nothing is more lovely than friendship!"**

"Like any dumbass wants YOUR friendship!" Sheila spun a giant Light Fist and sent it hurdling into Lord English's skull. His head was forced back as teeth fell out.

"Sheila! Thou hast inflicted pain!"

A tear leaked from His Lordship's eye. **"That really hurt me, Sis… How can you be so cru-… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"** English just now realized a giant Dr. Mario was propping his mouth open.

"Dr. Mario lost his job for throwing medicine at patients!" Zach declared. "He's continuing work as a dentist, and boy is it not pleasant!"

"Super Mario Drill!" A team of mini Dr. Marios swirled down on dentist drills and burrowed into English's teeth.

 **"BYAAAAAHHH!"** Red liquid came spewing out.

"Blimey, 'e's actually hurting him!" Sheila exclaimed. Some of the liquid rained on them. "Bleck! I hope I can wash this blood off."

Fybi wiped some of the liquid off and licked it off her finger. "This is not blood… 'tis cherry!"

"So, Lord English was hiding a cherry mine in his teeth?!" Zach questioned.

"Nay… I believest that beast is truly our fair leader! Zach, thou must keep his mouth agape! Sheila, hurry forth!"

"Gotcha!" Sheila and Fybi began their sprint, but Mason shot out of nowhere and kicked Sheila into a house. "What the heck, Mason?! Can't you see I'm tryin' ta save… 'old on." She just realized. "You were still in Hivebent when we left. YOU AREN'T MASON!"

Fybi shot the MS Paint Mason away. "Methinks neither of these art our friends! They couldst very well be impostors."

"But if they ain't them, then where ah they?!"

"I know not, but we must wait no longer!" Fybi soared up to Lord English's forced-open mouth. She grabbed the Poison of the Gods from her pocket and stuck it on her B.O.W., taking sharp aim directly down into the lord's throat. "Cheren! I pray for thine safety and thine return!" With bullet speed, the vial loosed, striking the base of English's throat.

 ** _"GROOOAAAAHH!"_** The giant Dr. Mario vanished and everybody cupped their ears. Once his scream had ended, Lord English was frozen, still agape.

"…Is he well?" Fybi asked.

 **"UUAAAAAHHHH!"** His next scream shook the paintscape, and the very dimension began to crackle and break.

"Oi, this place is falling apart! Are ya sure that was a good idea?!"

"Sheila, I require thine assistance! Follow me into his bowels!"

"WUT?!"

"There is not much time! Hurry!" Fybi dove headfirst into English's throat.

"I wanted ta go in me mum's tummy first! Ugh!" Sheila dashed for the colossus, tail spinning, and took flight up to and into the demon's throat.

 **Subconscious**

Cheren Uno awoke in a land of whiteness. "Ugh… where am I?" He couldn't remember what he was last doing. For the past few hours, all he's heard was Lord English's creepy voice giggling in his ear. In the distance, he could see some faint shadows. "Hey, who's there?" He sprinted after the shadows, which slowly began to make form. They were walking away from him, but he began to recognize their appearances. "Panini! Aurora!" (Play Ventus's Theme from _Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep_!)

The two stopped. With smiles on their faces, they turned around. Suddenly, they were no longer Panini and Aurora… the former had become a brown-skinned woman with red hair, and Aurora changed into Princess Zelda.

"Link!" Zelda smiled.

"Link…" Urbosa said.

"Huh?" When Cheren studied his hands, they were different. He was clad in green, and his body was Link's. More people appeared around him. Melody Jackson changed into Ruto, Anthony turned into Darunia, Nagisa turned into Impa… "What is… going on?"

 _"Cheren! Cheren!"_ a faint voice called.

"Whuh? Who's talking to me?"

 _"Thou must awaken! Prithee, Cheren!"_

"Who's… Awaken?"

 **Casino English**

 **". . . aaaaa… … aaa… . . . aa . ."** Blood leaked out of Lord English's mouth. He looked as though he choked on something awful and sat dead in his chair.

"My Lord!" Bill Cipher flew up, looking into his mouth. "My Lord, what's wrong?! Lord English!"

"Oh, dear…" Dimentio walked in with worry apparent on his features. "Perhaps he drunk a few too many yeers… hm hm hm."

"This isn't the time for games, My Lord! We're on the verge of victory! The Seven Lights are within our killing radius, so hurry up and kill them!"

 **Subconscious**

"Link… it's me." Zelda's grin was beautiful. "You do remember me… don't you?"

"No." said Cheren. "I mean… I do. I remember all of you. But this isn't right… you aren't my friends. My friends are… somewhere else."

"You're wrong." Zelda shook her head. "We are your friends, Link. We've always been. Everyone is. Don't you remember?"

 _"Cheren, prithee! Thou must awaken! If thou dost not, we art all doomed! Prithee!"_

 _"GET UP, ya lazy drongo! Yer more lazy than flippin' MASON!"_

In the darkness of English's body, Cheren was floating in place, his color drained after the impact of the poison. Fybi and Sheila had him encased in a sphere of light and wind, using the power of their Keyblades.

 _"Oiiiii! Chereeeeeen!"_

"That voice…" Cheren turned to the direction of that Australian accent. "Sheila?"

"HUAH!" A dark-skinned girl with blonde hair and a blue shirt punched him in the jaw.

"OW!"

"What's the matter with you, Link?!" Tetra shouted. "You're going to let yourself be controlled by that freak? Man up and fight back already!"

"She's right, Link!" Cheren looked up, seeing the familiar wings of Fybi flapping down. Doing a flip, Fybi's body morphed into a red-eyed bird girl, her talons landing on the ground. "Your journey can't end here." Medli said. "You promised you would revive Hyrule. You can't do that if the universe is destroyed!"

"I don't remember promising that!"

"Well, ya did." Tetra shrugged.

"Your friends are very loyal to you…" A deeper, unfamiliar voice spoke.

"What?" Cheren looked under his feet, where Link stood upside-down like a reflection. Link walked away and curved right-side-up.

"You and I both had lots of friends in our time. It was our greatest quality. That's why Lord English planned to use it against you. Our greatest strength is also our weakness."

"So, what? Am I supposed to abandon my friends to save them?"

"Don't even THINK ABOUT IT!" Tetra started punching Cheren repeatedly, earning disbelieved stares from those around. "A crew always sticks with its captain, and a captain never abandons his crew! Snap out of it, ya bloody drongo!"

"Chill out, Sheila—I mean… Tetra! Augh, whoever you are!" Cheren shook her off. "BLECH!" He hacked blood and clenched his stomach. "URGH! I feel like I swallowed something terrible! ! GLUHG! God, it tastes so awful! What the hell is it?!"

"We will—" Medli briefly glitched into Fybi, "—shalt not let thou—you die!" She glitched back.

 **"…aa . . . . aaa . . ."**

"Please, My Lord, don't let them get the better of you!" Bill pled, crying tears. "Remember who you are! You're Lord English, the Rewriter of the Universe! You can't let some silly poison kill you! PLEASE, SNAP OUT OF IT! !"

 **"…Ca…Cal . . . li…o…"**

"GLECK!" More vomit mixed with blood. Cheren sunk to his knees. As his body continued to breathe Fybi's Winds of Truth, he begun to understand. For three years, ever since becoming a god… he felt so happy. He never adored his friends more, even despite how much they shunned him for what he became. Yet, these feelings were not earnest… they were Lord English, slowly tapping into his soul. And now that the poison was eating away at him, these feelings were dissipating. "My friends… I failed you. I couldn't save our worlds… I put you all in danger. Please… just kill me…"

"No—Nay!" Medli glitched into Fybi. "Cheren, I know not the pain thou art feeling at this very moment. It must be greater than any could dare to imagine. But we need thee to return to us. Because only thou canst keep our organization whole. I will not deny thou hast made bad decisions in thine past… but thou hast created a KND we all can enjoy. Thou hast considered the concerns and well-being of all children. Even thine decision to become a god was done for our sake. But if this pain is what results, then prithee, banish all the power from thy veins!"

"GLEEEEHHH!"

"Blimey, this place is fallin' apart!" Sheila exclaimed as more dimensional rifts ripped the realm.

"We canst not leave now! We art so close!"

"Sounds like YOU ladies need a boost!" In came Zach on his Gravy Train, ramming all three as they were flung onto a car.

"Exercise caution, Zach!" Fybi stated. "Oh? Thou hast brought them?!" Fybi noticed the MS Paint characters piled dead in a back wagon of the train.

"Those are our friends, right?"

"OF COURSE NOT, you bloke!" Sheila yelled.

"Well, I couldn't find them anywhere else! Besides, I'm sure a few extra years of school will set 'em back on track."

"Like school ever helps!"

"Now is not the time! Sheila, hurry!" Fybi shouted.

 **"Ca…Ca…"**

 _"…-orn…Caliborn… you never understood the concept of friendship… even though that was all you wanted."_

 **"Cal…li…"**

 _"And because of me… your heart was torn. It has become harder for you to understand."_

"We're almost there!" Zach announced, seconds away from speeding through the portal.

"Pray, Cheren! Thou must awaken!" pled Fybi. "Thou must awaken so we may build the New World, and continue our adventures with our friends! Thou must see this beautiful New World with us!"

 _"Caliborn… I will see you again. And when I do, Brother… there is something I wish to tell you."_ (End song.)

 **"Cal…li…Cal…li…"** Lord English smashed his head onto his drawing. **"CALLIOOOOOOPE! ! !"**

Bill and Dimentio flew backward as the entire casino began to shake. **"CALLIOOOPE!"** Parts of the universe turned upside-down and inside out.

"MY LORD! NO!" Bill cried. "You mustn't shout her name like that! You mustn't think of her! ! This is the very reason we cut her out of your heart! !"

"It's now or never, guys!" Zach declared as the dimension threatened to explode. "Heeeeere weeeee GOOOOOOOOO!"

And the second they passed the portal into Alternia, the second it EXPLODED, transforming a massive chunk of the castle grounds into a crater. The train fell to pieces, dropping everyone around the ground. The MS Paint characters morphed back into their true selves, while the ones who had not come on the rescue party (like Melody or Mason) simply melted, as they were naught but illusions.

"Phew!" Zach sighed. "I think the biggest lesson here is, no matter how good an artist you are, MS Paint is a terrible software!"

"W-What's going on?" Anthony spoke first as everyone awoke.

"Anthony, look! Cheren!" Diancie pointed.

Their leader had been dropped on the ground, foam spewing from his mouth. "OI, WE GOT COMPANY!" cried Sheila.

"Hahahahahahahaaaaa!" Joker's psychotic cackle rang as the Backup Army, Nerdvana marched to their location. "Looks like their plan failed! I guess we'll all have to finish the job, boys!"

 _"AHEM!"_

"And girls, sheesh! (There's a lot more gender diversity in this universe.)"

"They never give us a break…" Dillon sighed.

"Let's get this over with, then." Midna replied.

"SUNNI!" they gasped when Sunni, Mary, and April appeared via the former's psychic. "You're back to normal!" MaKayla exclaimed.

"I sure am! Let's get us outta here!" Sunni expanded a massive sphere of psychic around her friends.

 _"When Lord English was reborn… he stole the piece of me that was in my host vessel, Jagar King."_

"Do you guys hear something?" April asked as they were flying through the teleporting dimension.

 _"He kept that piece close to his heart… but by Bill's suggestion, he cut that piece out and had it placed inside you, Cheren."_

"Hey, they're about to come back!" Maddy exclaimed when a bright ball of light appeared in Hivebent.

Chelan smiled and folded hands in prayer, feeling a pure and powerful essence.

 _"Lord English's will was stronger, and it matured as your God Tier…" In a sea of tiny green fish, one of these fish bore shiny green eyes, fixated on the light at the surface. "But now that those powers have been extinguished… I can finally regain form."_

The group of operatives poofed into Hivebent in a flash! "BLUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEHHH!" Cheren never needed to vomit in his entire life more than he did right now. A real stream of saliva, along with one massive glob of something. "Ow… my tummy…" Cheren rubbed his aching belly. "Huh?"

Everyone stared at the mass he had spewed. Green eyes opened up and two arms stretched out. "WWWWWUUUUUUHHHG!" She threw herself up into the air and shook off the saliva: a green child with the head of a skull, a green tuxedo with a red bowtie, swirly cheeks, and a shackle on her right leg. "I didn't think I woUld EVER get oUt of there!" ^u^

 _A Cherub and Writer of the Twenty Keys Prophecy_

 _CALLIOPE_

"…?" She looked around. Everyone had pale faces and detached jaws. Why, they were staring at a younger, female version of Lord English. "Oh, right. YoU probably want an explanation, hUh?" :U

"It's a8out damn time." Vriska shook her head.


	31. The Universe Restoration Plan

**What can I saaaay, it's eeeexpositiooooon?**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-31: The Universe Restoration Plan_**

 **Hivebent**

Everyone was in attendance. The Kids Next Door, the Seven Lights, the Dimension Rebels, the Card Captives, and Nebula had all the planets in attendance so her faithful operatives could listen. "Is…Is it really you?" asked Jessie Sidney, walking up to her, mouth agape. "Calliope?"

"QUite trUthfUlly!" Calliope stuck up two fingers. "'Tis I, the one and only Calliope!"

 _"WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN CHEREN'S/MY BODY?! ?"_ everyone screamed so loud, they shook the whole base.

"Please, not so loUd! !" Calliope clapped her ears shut. "Allow me to start from the beginning…ish. After my host body, Jagar King was killed, Lord English absorbed my essence into his own body. That same essence was the part that was cUt oUt of him and placed into Cheren's body for his own nefarioUs scheme. UnfortUnately, my brother's will dominated mine at the moment, so I coUld do nothing bUt wait." She turned to Sheila and Fybi, smiling. "I knew I coUld coUnt on yoU two! I hope TypheUs didn't give yoU too mUch of a bother." ^u^

She then faced the Hivebent crew. "And yoU too, Chelan and Vriska! YoU have my thanks as well!"

"WHAT?!" shouted Karkat. "Don't pull that crap, Vriska betrayed us!"

"That was only an act to trick 8ill and English, dum8ass!" retorted Vriska from her card. "Sigh… Actually, Chelan was the one to tell me. Well, she didn't _tell_ me, she gestured me to read her mind. She knew that 8ill would come to me and said that I should go along with his plan."

" " Chelan hummed.

"Chelan doth claim that her future self contacted her." Fybi translated. "Only she knows the patterns of her own notes."

"Which is exactly how I knew I coUld trUst her!" Calliope grinned. "My brother hates any form of dialogUe that isn't his native tongUe. Which is… English! Heheh! ^u^ Not to mention her tendency to hUm gives him a royal headache. Of all the people here, English woUld watch her the least. I'll contact her past self as soon as we get those Zoni bUilt."

Without warning, Cheren drew his Master Sword and held it at her neck. "You still haven't given me a reason to trust you!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Jessie shouted. "We've known since the f**king beginning Calliope was on our side, otherwise we'd be f**king dead!"

"She was hiding in my body! I almost got everyone killed because of her! Was that part of your plan, Calliope, because I don't appreciate being used!"

"No, it wasn't!" cried Calliope. "It was my brother's plan to Use yoU, I jUst Used it to my advantage! I feel bad for what we did to yoU, bUt I had no choice! It was my only chance at escaping from him!"

"Cheren, move away." Panini stepped forth and pulled him aside. "Let me speak ta her." She stepped in front of Calliope. "Ahem…" And SOCKED her in the jaw. "BECAUSE OF YOU, Cheren lost his mind and turned us inta hideous MS PAINT FIGURES! !"

"I KNOW! I'm sorry!" UX

"Well, you better give us a VERY GOOD excuse, or I'll BEAT YA into green jelly!"

"I will, I will, jUst let me finish explaining!" Calliope got back to her feet. "In the ancient past, Lord English and I shared a body. OUr race of CherUbs all consist of two minds. However, only one mind can be active at a time. If I speak my brother's trUe name, I will fall into sleep. And if Lord English spoke my name, he woUld fall asleep. That was _sUpposed_ to be the balance between Us… bUt my brother and I have always been good at sharing. Both of Us managed to stay awake. And all we loved to do… was create stories."

 _"Look, Sister! Look at these two idiots I made up!" Caliborn held up a picture of two atrociously-painted characters. "This dumbass stole this bitch's toy, so the bitch punched him in the face! The universe hails her as a hero for punching that prick!"_

 _"Awww! How sweet, Brother!"_

 _My brother's greatest trait was his creativity. Of coUrse, he was anything bUt brilliant._

 _"Look, Sister! This bitch loves this prick! Look at them holding hands! The Universe BATHES in their love!"_

 _"Hee hee hee hee! How adorable!"_

 _Despite this fact, he was an innocent child. And I jUst tried to be the sUpportive sister. The fUnny thing is, none of the worlds we created were anything like oUr sUper-dimensional existence. We knew nothing beyond where we lived, so we jUst made things Up._

 _"Sister, what do you love best about my universes?"_

 _"UUUUUUhhh…" Calliope was stumped on what to say. Then, she gave a smile and answered, "I love the way they're so innocent!"_

 _"YES! !" proclaimed Caliborn powerfully. "MY WORLDS ARE THE MOST INNOCENT… innocent?" He was confused. "What's that mean?"_

 _"It means… sort of along the lines of…" Calliope scratched her head. Even she wasn't sure what she meant. "I mean, they're the kinds of Universes where, like, no harm coUld come from them."_

 _"Why would my universes be able to harm? Do YOUR universes harm? ?"_

 _"N-No, no! Sigh, what I mean is… the people and stories yoU create… they're jUst not powerful."_

 _"…Are they… supposed to be powerful?"_

 _"No, of coUrse not! YoU can make them however yoU want!"_

 _"Er… okay…?"_

 _At oUr core, we weren't any different from siblings in yoUr world. Still, it always seemed like my brother Understood less than I did. UnfortUnately, I wasn't that good of a teacher._

 _"YoU want to do what?" asked Calliope._

 _"I wish to show the other universes what I created! I want them to BASK in my DIVINE CREATIVITY! How can we let our greatness be known?!"_

 _"I… don't think that's a good idea."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"The worlds beyond oUr own are… qUite different, to be honest. So different, that they may not Understand oUr style."_

 _"Then let's teach them our style! The universes must know our creative invincibility!"_

 _"We can't, Brother!"_

 _"Why not? Is it because my visions are 'innocent'?"_

 _"Well… yes! There are worlds oUt there that've existed mUch longer than any of oUrs. So long that they've had time to grow stronger. Next to those worlds… I'm afraid oUr tiny little creations don't stand a chance! Hehe." ^u^_

 _"Then…Then let's combine our worlds! We'll combine all our worlds and be INVINCIBLE! !"_

 _"Hm hm hm! Oh, Brother. YoUr ambition is sweet, bUt it's best to keep oUr worlds in here, where they'll be safe!"_

 _There was a feeling inside me that really didn't want the oUtside worlds to see what my brother created. Now, looking back, I realize that feeling was… embarrassment. Lord English knew I woUldn't comply with his plan, so his next option was to do the Unthinkable: he tried to fUse oUr two minds into one._

 _"BROTHER, STOP! YOu CAN'T DO THIS, YOu SHOuLDN'T!" They looked like two amoebas trying to mold together._

 _"Why not, Sis?! Our combined worlds will be brilliant! They'll be unstoppable! Why wouldn't you want to bask in the combined fury of our creative-"_

 _"NO ONE WANTS ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOuR CREATIVITY, IT'S HIDEOuS! !"_

 _Suddenly, the amoebas stopped fighting. "…You're lying."_

 _"What?"_

 _"You said my creations were brilliant. You referred to them as 'sweet' and 'adorable.' YOU WILL HOLD TRUE TO YOUR WORD, AND MERGE WITH MEEEE!"_

 _"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Caliborn fought with greater power and fury._

"YoU probably remember the next part." Calliope said. "OUr bodies get destroyed, oUr essence corrUpts the First Dimension… and here we are."

"Yah, we know." Terry rolled his eyes. "Quit capitalizing your U's."

"Your backstory is worse than Lord Gnaa's love story." Cheren said. Calliope performed an anime comedy-drop. "You expect us to believe this all started because two siblings got in a fight about their dumb story ideas?!"

"Well, it's all true! !" Calliope jumped back up. "But fine, let me explain this in a different way." She went up to Kanaya's computer and gestured her to get out of her seat. "Say a writer gets an idea in their head, and they type it on their computer." She typed, _A rabbit makes friends with a dog._ "Even if there is no preconceived thought or fleshed-out characters, that writer has just created a universe. A very _small_ universe, but a universe all the same. And if I were to delete it," which she did, "that universe will be wiped from the plains of existence. Since it barely expanded beyond the boundaries of the writer's mind, erasing it will do no damage to anything or anyone else. Even the slightest thought can drastically change a universe, while its very inhabitants remain completely unaware. Take you children, for example. Just last year, that Mako girl didn't even exist in your world. And three years ago, Wendy Marvell did not exist, yet when she appeared, she has existed for 11 years, to your knowledge."

"MY HEAD HURTS! !" Wendy cried.

"The reality is that all of you are a god's creation that he can do with as he pleases. However, in his own dimension, that 'god' may be as powerless as an everyday human, existing under the will of a real God."

"ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP!" Cheren punched Calliope. "Is that how you get us to trust you?! By telling us we're a god's playthings?! I thought that was the reason we were trying to STOP Lord English! Or is this one of those stories where the SIBLING wants all the power?!"

"No, that's not what I was saying at all! I only meant that every universe is run by a god, and they decide-"

"I don't care what they decide! If that same god is the one who let Lord English run amuck, then I have no reason to be grateful or even care about him! We're gonna take him down and go back to living happily, with or without some so-called god!"

"Darn right we ah!" Sheila fist-palmed. "And if 'e thinks of tellin' us otherwise, we'll all sock him together!"

"I lived my whole life letting people control me." Nagisa stated. "So, you can bet I'm with Cheren on this."

"I only believe in one God." Apis said. "And He wouldn't treat us as toys."

"I didn't see anyone else protecting these worlds." Nebula said. "And at the end of the day, all I want is to return them where they belong."

"…" Calliope smiled. "Your hearts are all very pure. And your passion is strong. I can tell you all feel the same way." She stood up. "I won't deny… I'm every bit as responsible as Lord English for the destruction of your worlds. It may have started as a petty squabble, but because of me, his heart has been corrupted by darkness. I have every intention of making up for what we've done… by wiping both of us from the face of existence."

"You can do that?" asked Jessie.

"Well… yes. As soon as everything goes according to plan. Which reminds me, I need to get to writing the prophecy."

 _"You haven't written it, yet?!"_ everyone chorused.

"Nope!" grinned the Cherub. "I have every intent to, but it all starts with you!"

"Whaddyou mean by that?" asked Cheren.

"The only written existence of the Twenty Keys Prophecy are the Poneglyphs and Pyrameglyphs. But the reason they exist in your world is, to put it simply, because of time-travel. And every other hint of the prophecy exists due to time-travel. Lord English already stole 13 pieces of Permanite from Planet Ore, and sent them to their respective locations in the distant past. 'Course, he needed Dimentio to send them across space. Before that, however, he needed to inscribe the messages for the Thirteen Darknesses. Wanna guess who wrote those messages? The Darknesses themselves!" Calliope grinned. "Because only they understood what they desired in life."

"Which means WE'RE the ones who write OUR Pone-thingies!" Zach realized.

"Uh… no." Maddy said. "They were written by the Dimension Rebels."

"Yeah! That Monkey boy wrote mine!" Sheila remembered.

"And Naruto hast written mine." Fybi said.

 _"We did?"_ they chorused.

"And if I recall, that fire-breathing idiot wrote mine." Jessie pointed at Natsu. "At least, I assume that because he's wearing the same scarf that went into the Poneglyph. Even though I have NO idea who he is or what the f**k he has to do with me."

"Ah, of course. In truth, I planned for them to write your Poneglyphs as a means of confusing Bill and Lord English further. To reiterate, Lord English used time-travel to accomplish his goals. So, we're going to do the same thing. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to enact our Universe Restoration Plan! Keep in mind, by the end of this plan, there will be so many time paradoxes, your heads will explode."

"I'm sure we can handle it." Nolan said.

"Then let us begin! Thankfully, those girls got started by bringing the equipment from Matter Space." She looked at Kanaya, Carol, and Vanellope. "I'll help them finish constructing the Zoni, which will no doubt be a big help to your past adventures!"

"More like a big annoyance." Vanellope eye-rolled.

"Hm hm hm! ^u^ But here is the important part: because of what just now happened, the 'Lord English' that exists in this time is incapacitated. That means neither of his selves throughout time will be able to see the 'yous' of right now, even if you traveled through time. Of course, if you were directly in front of him in those past times, he could see you, but that's not a big deal."

"MY HEAD HURTS!" screamed Anthony.

"Hee hee! The point is, we have a perfect time to act. As you know, I plan to send your Poneglyphs to their respective locations. But if we are to completely destroy Lord English, we must work to foil all of his plans of the past. This includes preventing the Thirteen Darknesses from becoming Darknesses. We must destroy all of the Pyrameglyphs before the Darknesses can read them."

"But the Pyrameglyphs are made of Permanite, aren't they?" Diancie asked. "I guess that job is up to you, Anthony."

"I don't mind breakin' a few rocks!" Anthony flexed his muscles.

"I'll write down a list of paradoxes we're going to make." Calliope continued. "I don't want to overwhelm you right now. But one of them is especially important. You still have the Universe Frog frozen in the refrigerator, right?"

"Sure do!" said Yuzu.

"Good. Because this part of the plan is very complicated. So complicated, that if even one part goes wrong, the multiverse is DOOMED. But don't worry, it'll be fine!"

 _"WILL IT?!"_ screamed everyone in worry.

"Hee hee hee! First, we need to design the New Universe you will be living in once it is over. I'm sure the lovely Miss April Goldenweek can make one in no time at all! Thus, I have chosen her to be The Creator! But she won't be using canvases: April is going to create worlds using planets from the Planet Tree!"

"Like decorating ornaments on Christmas!" April beamed.

"Indeed! And once she is finished, we'll feed those planets to the Universe Frog, where they will be able to grow and develop into true worlds with living inhabitants. But we will also feed him… those planets, too!" Calliope pointed at the shrunken worlds.

"You want the Universe Frog to swallow our worlds?!" Nebula shouted.

"For safe storage, of course! It won't hurt them, I promise! It's the only way for your current worlds to survive and have a place in the New Universe. Once the frog has consumed them, it will be replenished and no longer perish under heat. But it will take it thousands of years in order to finish developing the worlds. WENDY!" She threw her finger in the direction of the wind mage, who gasped. "You must use your magic to change the Universe Frog's form! He will assume the identity of Don Gero and live in the Gameverse until the appointed time!"

Cheren gasped, recognizing that name. "Wait a second, I know Don Gero! Majora transformed him into a monster called Gekko, and used him to attack me! Is that the same Don Gero? Won't that dangerously affect the planets?"

"Don't worry, it won't. Since he will be sent back in time successfully, even now, he should still be in the ruins of your dimension. By this time, he will be ripe, ready to burst with a brand new universe! In order to make that happen, Arceus, the Firstborn, and all the other gods must shrink down and enter the Universe Frog, and combine their chis to give birth to the universe. The explosion that will result will be as massive as the Big Bang! Unfortunately, if Lord English is still alive, then he'll just ruin that universe again. This part of the plan is the hard part: destroying Lord English."

"Tell us how!" Cheren demanded determinedly.

"After Anthony destroys the Pyrameglyphs, the Piece of English that is inside will be exposed. Suki must accompany Anthony to those locations and freeze the Piece of English, and use her Ice Shatter ability. Because Suki's body contains a piece of me, her chi will be able to do this."

"Well, Suki, are you up for it?" Miyuki asked.

"Of course I am, Sister-chan! I want that meanie to go away!"

"Excellent! With all those pieces destroyed, he will have no more Darknesses and his power will diminish. But even then, he will still have enough power to ruin the New Universe. Which is why… the New Universe must ruin him. As I mentioned, Lord English is currently incapacitated. We have roughly 120 hours before he fully recovers. So, before that happens, we must do everything I instructed, infiltrate his castle, and place the Universe Frog into his body! The gods will initiate the Big Bang from inside English, AND COMPLETELY DESTROY HIM! !"

The entire base rang with shocked gasps. "But we must wait until the time is right. Along with his 13 pieces, we must also destroy the Octogan, and his primary source of knowledge: Bill Cipher. We can handle those parts after inserting the Universe Frog. As you might expect, we cannot avoid a direct confrontation with my brother. We all must work together to weaken and defeat him! Of course, before we can even do that, the Protection Charm that Voldemort cast on him is still in affect. We must either kill the remaining Darknesses that hold the Keyblades or drag them to the Penance Chamber. Once that protection is gone, Lord English will be vulnerable to damage."

"But will he even be possible to damage, even without that protection?" Cheren asked.

"He will now!" Calliope smirked. "Because I'll be fighting beside you! And we will win the battle… WITH FRIENDSHIP! !"

". . . . . ." They were royally baffled.

"Hee hee hee! I'll explain that later. Right now, there are three Darknesses remaining, but Lord Gnaa should have wrapped up with Xehanort by now. We'll drag him to the Penance Chamber soon. That just leaves Ganondorf and Dimentio."

"Heh. I thought you'd never ask." Cheren smirked, clasping his sword tight. "I'm pretty pissed off right now… and I need somebody to take it out on. As for now… KIDS NEXT DOOR!" He raised his fist, which shone with the Triforce of Courage. "Commence Operation: Beat the Crud Out of Lord English!"

 _"KIDS NEXT DOOR RULEZ!"_

As everyone cheered, Cheren was already on his way to the hangar. "Cheren, wait!" Panini chased him and met him there. "Are you… sure you're okay? Ya seem a lot angrier…"

"Relax, Panini… I'm still me. I'm just a little mad at her for using me… even IF it was for a good cause. I don't think I've actually felt this angry in a long time… Somehow, it feels good. Heheh."

"…Are you angry that I'm now taller than ya?"

"Of course." He passed her a smirk.

"Hehe! Then I know it's ya for sure! …Well, okay. Punch Ganondorf extra hard for me!"

"Hold on a second there, bucko." Nebula said from behind them. "With all of us getting prepared HERE, how do you expect to fight through that Backup Army?"

"Uh… good point."

"Oh, Cheren." Nebula shook her head and approached the hangar's exit. "I just knew you would jump in willy-nilly, just like your father. That's why I brought help."

Cheren and Pan joined her. They gasped: "SHURORORORO!" cackled Caesar Clown. "We live in the universe TOO, you know!" Behind him was the entire Brotherhood of Evil.

"And WE'RE the only ones who can CONQUER it!" Jack Spicer declared.

"You guys think YOU were the only ones training for three years?!" exclaimed Control Freak, twirling a septuple lightsaber. "We needed to keep up with you, so we've been amping our skills! Consider us the NEO Brotherhood of Evil!"

"Django, dear… won't you stand by your granny?" Sartana de los Muertos extended a hand.

"Grandma? HELL YES!" Django jumped out of the base and landed on her ship.

"For the glory of Lord Genious, we will show these brats who rules the universe!" King Goobot declared. "Brotherhood brethren, let us teach those Brotherhood wannabes a lesson!"

 _"YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!"_

Cheren and Pan's faces lit up like suns. They never thought hearing the roars of supervillains would give them courage. But they did. And they were going to kick some arse.


	32. Goddess Hylia

**Almost there!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-32: Goddess Hylia_**

 **Alternia**

The Backup Army were all taking a break at picnic tables on the castle grounds. "So, fellas, what're you gonna do once the multiverse is ours?" asked the Joker. "Me, I plan on buying my own planet where everybody has to dress and act like me. I'll call it… JOKER LAND!"

"What a ridiculous name." Robotnik said.

"Indeed." Eggman X agreed.

"…Sigh." The main Dr. Eggman sighed.

"Shurorororo! I think Joker Land is a WONDERFUL idea!"

"Gee, thank you, Guy That Sounds Like Me!" Joker beamed. "…Hold on." He looked up.

"Mind if I STEAL IT?!" Caesar Clown shot him with a syringe gun, knocking Joker out. "GET THEM, FELLAS!" (Play "Shacktron Battle" from _Gravity Falls_!)

 _"YAAAAAAAAHHH!"_ The Brotherhood of Evil charged with fury in their hearts.

Control Freak was eager to have a lightsaber duel with Darth Vader. Despite it being seven sabers vs. one, the Sith Lord was very proficient in combatting him. "You're even more awesome than you were in the movies!" Control Freak exclaimed. "But we BOTH know your Achilles Heel! Or in this case, YOUR RIGHT ARM!" Control Freak dodged around Vader in that direction, rapidly twirling his septuple saber, and was successfully able to SLICE the Sith Lord's arm off.

 _"NNNOOOOOO!"_

The Eggmen blasted rapid missiles at Mumbo Jumbo, who used magic to morph them into beautiful flowers. Knightbrace was able to charge in and leap up to the first Egg Pod, blasting Super Sticky Toothpaste at the other pods to link and pull them together. With that, several drills and brushes extracted from Knightbrace's backpack. "W-Wait!" cried Eggman X. "I always wanted to be a dentist! _MMMMMP!"_ Knightbrace didn't care as he made short work on all their teeth.

Mother Mae-Eye towered over Gruntilda, casting spells that the smaller witch countered. Gruntilda cast spells to bring nearby rubble to life and attack Mae-Eye, but the larger witch changed them into sweets. "It's pie time you were FRIED!" Mae-Eye made pies fly into the air and set on fire as they swarmed in on Grunty.

Vlad Plasmius shot down several of Killer Moth's killer moths, but the Halfa was caught in an ectoplasmic net. "What?! Skulker, why are you with them?!"

"Good to see you again, Vlad." Skulker smirked. "Even though you aren't the same one." He whipped out a Fenton Thermos and captured Vlad, then proceeded to trap X.A.N.A.'s ghost.

"Changing Chopsticks!" Jack Spicer shrunk down to rice size and infiltrated The Hacker's body. "Geez, this guy's parts are worse than _my_ robots." Jack said as he began tearing apart Hacker's inside. "…I hope nobody heard that."

Dr. Light, Toiletnator, and Box Ghost surrounded Mr. Crocker, casting a beam of light, a wave, and a swarm of boxes from all directions. …Crocker just took a step back, let all the attacks pass him, and watched the villains strike each other. "Well, that was easy." Crocker shrugged.

Pottymouth ambushed the teacher and knocked him out. "YOU POOPIN' PEEHEADS, WHAT THE URINAL WAS THAT?!" he shouted at his comrades.

Sartana and Django strummed their Mystic Guitars with the music, commanding giant skeletons to pummel cartoon villains into the ground, like Elmer Fudd, Maximus, Mandark, and Eddy's Brother. Neither of them had signed up for this.

"RAAAAA-!" Darkseid performed a mighty leap, aiming to squash many members of the Brotherhood with a mighty-

"WAIT!" Artie jumped up in his path, and everyone froze. (Pause song.) "I just… have to ask this. Why isn't Darkseid one of the Backup Army officers? Heck, why isn't he a Darkness? He's at least as strong as Thanos."

"Hmm… yes." Darkseid said. "You make a point there, worm."

"Riiiight! You don't belong with these one-shotable losers! You deserve MUCH more power! And I think you need to make Lord English realize that, too! You should go beat the crud out of him, show him your power!"

"I shall! BENJAMIN!"

A small butler flew over with a jetpack. "Indubitably, Sir." He grabbed Darkseid and flew skyward.

"Phew. Okay, proceed." (Resume song.)

Adonis and Atlas engaged Bowser and K. Rool in fist fights, lifting both reptiles and slamming them into each other. Mammoth punched Dr. Nefarious so hard that the robot fell to pieces. Professor Calamitous grabbed Specter off his chair and reprogrammed his helmet, so Specter would be forgetful. Katnappé used the Golden Tiger Claws to warp inside the Maleficent Dragon's body and SLICE through her stomach. Stewie Griffin became a Hulk and KO'ed the Original Stewie in one hit.

"What a bunch of losers." Hades sighed in disappointment. "I guess it's up to us, boys." He, Aku, Nightmare, and Trigon marched toward the villains. The Brotherhood was intimidated by the imposing height of the Backup Army's powerful giants. Together, their power was great enough to conquer galaxies.

 _"Gum-GUM…"_

 _"Dragon King's…"_

 _"Nine-Tails…"_

 _"Getsuga…"_

 _"KONG GUN/BLAZING FIST/RASENGAN/TENSHŌ!"_ Luffy, Natsu, Naruto, and Ichigo fell down from the sky like comets and DESTROYED the giants in a single fearsome strike.

Jack Spicer gulped. "Those guys are scary." (End song.)

Meanwhile, Cheren, Panini, Death the Kid, and Nerehc Onu were nearly at the doorsteps to Ganon's Castle. "Why even let the Brotherhood fight when we have _those_ guys?" Nerehc asked.

"Give them a chance to feel like heroes, too!" Cheren smiled.

"I just wish they would make a better formation." Kid replied.

 _"You forgot somethiiiing!"_ Vriska Serket came crashing down from the sky. "These two!" She dropped a dizzy Harvey Harper and Emily Garley.

"My brain hurts…" Emily moaned.

"Vriska? Why'd you bring these two?"

"Well, as you might know, I haven't 8een very truthful as of l8. When I 8rought you to Alternia the first time, I did so without the intention of freeing Azelf. The truth is, Azelf, Mesprit, and Uxie all share a single Egg Cham8er, so you'll need all three of their Guardians to free them. Good luck 8eating Ganon!" Vriska flew off.

"WHAT? Too proud to help us?!" Panini yelled.

"Hey, I have some people to find, YOU worry a8out Ganon!" With that, Vriska was gone over the horizon.

"…She's an odd character." Cheren said awkwardly.

"She's not the only one." Nerehc replied. "Well, Cheren, you know how this works by now. Have fun completing the dungeon, I'll get a headstart on Ganon!" He flew up and toward the highest point of the castle.

"I'll go and help manage the demon situation." Kid followed, flying to a different part of the castle.

"YOU JERKS, COME BACK HERE!" Panini screeched.

"Oh, leave them, Pan. It'll actually feel nice slaying monsters the old-fashioned away." Cheren flexed an arm. "Let's give Ganon his well-deserved stabbing!"

"Well, that sentence is gonna give me nightmares." Harvey said. (Play the Hyrule Castle Theme from _Zelda: Breath of the Wild_!)

 _Stage F-20: Land of Beginnings and Endings_

 _Mission: Defeat Ganon once for all! …Until his next reincarnation._

 _Act 2: Ganon's Castle_

Fortunately, with Emily Garley in the party, she could use metalbending to open the sealed gates to Ganon's Castle. (If she knew the vitality of how much they needed her, she would never stop gloating, so they kept it secret.) In the first courtyard, 10 Fatblin bared their metal shields like a wall and charged to push their enemies out. Panini flew above the demons and roped their heads with sticky Purple Fire. With the 10 ropes linked together, Panini raised the 10 demons in the air and whirled them around. "Nobody's getting past ME!"

Lizalfos charged up as Panini whammed the roped Fatblin into them. "Holy cow, when did she get so strong?" Emily shuddered.

"Wasn't she always?" Cheren remarked. "Panini, wrap it up 'cause we're heading upstairs! Harvey, use your yo-yos to carry Emily up those branches! Panini, you carry me."

"On it!" Harvey grabbed Emily's wrist and tossed a yo-yo up and around a branch where a Ganon banner was hanging. They swung up and onto it, and then they swung up to other branches while Panini used Rocket Boost to carry Cheren up. They landed on an upper walkway that Nejiron were rolling down, Panini shooting fire ahead to explode them. The walkway sloped up and led to a tower, and Bulblin archers shot them from windows. The entrance to the tower was guarded by an Eyegore, a single-eyed demon that shot lasers.

"I remember this thing!" Cheren said, blocking the lasers. "Emily, get behind it and shoot explosive pellets into its mouth!" Emily noticed platforms down under the left of the bridge, dropping down, going across, and using the Sky Flyer to float up behind the creature. Indeed, there was a mouth on the Eyegore's rear, and when Cheren shot the eye, the mouth opened. Emily shot an explosive slingshot pellet inside, and pop went the Eyegore.

"Come on!" The kids raced into the castle, and the first room was the library. A Wizzrobe with a graduate's hat and monocle used magic to make books fly overhead like a tornado, then hurdled them at the kids. Panini burst into flame and let every book that crossed her path burn. She then wrapped herself in flames and jumped toward the Wizzrobe to start whaling on him.

"So much education lost…" Emily wept.

The heroes followed a stairway to a second-floor walkway, which ended at a large gap. A tall bookshelf stood on the opposite side, with Bulblin shooting arrows from atop it. Cheren used the Hookshots to latch the top of the shelf and pull it down, making a bridge. They crossed to a very tall bookshelf and were able to climb it by grabbing areas with no books. A Bulblin archer on the ground shot a fire arrow to set the shelf aflame, starting from the bottom. It was enough persuasion to make them climb faster and reach a high platform.

From here, the four jumped chandeliers across the ceiling and to a hallway. Stairs led up higher, but they came into contact with two Silver Moblins. Cheren bravely ran and struck at one, but they easily thrusted him back with their spears. "OW! Dammit, that hurt!"

"Yer not invincible anymore, ya know!" Panini said as she and Harvey fought the demons with their bending.

Cheren tried to throw fire, but nothing came out. "My bending's gone, too?! Man, I just became the weakest operative in the KND!"

"Then we better free the Firstborn as soon as possible." Harvey stated, attacking the Moblin with Boiled Tears. "I still wonder why they're all sharing one Egg Chamber."

Upon exiting the passage, the heroes were outside, faced with another flight of stairs. "I think we're about to find out." Panini said as these stairs seemed to lead to the highest point in the castle.

 _"Bleeeeeehhhh…"_ A moan that could not be mistaken as anything but Ganon vomiting rang throughout the air. Down the stairs came a flowing river of the dark substance known as Gasma. Cheren took point with the Light Arrow and shot the edge of the Gasma, keeping it back. It continued to flow, so Cheren had to constantly shoot arrows on their ascent. Bulblins were launching Shock Arrows from windows, but Emily used metalbending to grab the metal on the arrows and throw them back.

"Errrgh!" Harvey clasped his forehead. "I can feel a huge amount of rage from that room up there. …I bet I know where it's coming from."

"Ganon." Cheren fired the last Light Arrow at the last bit of Gasma. At the top of the pathway, there was nothing obstructing them and the throne room. "It's time to face you!" (End song.)

There were sword clashes ringing from the throne room as Nerehc and Ghirahim were locked in a fast-pace duel. Nerehc looked back and saw them. "About time you showed up-" Ghirahim kicked him away.

"His Majesty wishes only to face the Hero!" stated the Demon Lord, leaping to attack him again. "I'll make sure to kill you at the same time as him!"

The heroes entered the room, leaving Nerehc to his fight. Behind the Dark Lord's throne sat an Egg Chamber, much larger than the rest, colored blue, pink, and yellow. "Heh heh heh heh… So, you were able to escape from him." Ganondorf smirked. "I was hoping you would… the esteemed Hero of Time deserves a more dignified way to die."

Cheren marched forward. "I promised everyone I would lead them to the New World. I can't very well do that if I'm dead."

"Indeed. I suppose the only reason you're here is to shatter the spell on my Keyblade." Ganon raised an arm and spawned his Keyblade. "Allow me to save you the trouble." With a burst of power, Ganon SHATTERED the weapon. "I'm killing you the right way!" He stood and drew his Devil's Sword. "With your blood on this sword!"

"Ganon, is it too much trouble to call a truce?" Cheren asked. "You clearly don't like Lord English, either. And if he gets his way, you won't get anything! You won't get to rule any world! And worst of all, you'll never be reincarnated. Is that what you want?"

"Heh heh heh heh hah hah hah! You don't understand, do you? Fool! No matter which universe or which era I exist in, I am the Demon King! And my one and only fate is to challenge the powers of good! To challenge those that would defend the light! To DESTROY you, Hero of Time! If the multiverse is to end by Lord English's power, then my final wish is to have one final battle with you."

"You'll never change, will you, Ganondorf?" Cheren shook his head. "At the end of the universe, that's all you want. …You're lame, man." He lied on the floor and faced away. "Come back with some new shtick."

"Don't mock me, boy!" Ganon fumed. "Besides, you came here to rescue your puny goddesses, haven't you? I have no intention of letting you pass, unless you kill me!"

Cheren jumped up and drew his sword. "Fine, if you're gonna be like that! I'll cut you to pieces, Ganon!"

"Thanatos, Pandora, don't interfere." Ganon stepped down from his throne. "I've waited an eon to fight Link again… I will not be disappointed."

"Actually, it's only been 23 years." Thanatos corrected.

"I SAID DON'T INTERFERE!" The gods zipped away in fright. "I will end this boy once and for all! And with his god powers out of the way… it will be even better." (Play "Ganondorf Battle" from _Zelda: Wind Waker_!)

 _Boss fight: Ganondorf Dragmire_

Ganondorf flew toward Cheren and threw the first swings, which Cheren was quick to counter. They clashed swords for a few seconds before Cheren did a Shield Bash, the Mirror Shield's reflectability bouncing Ganon far back. Ganon flew up and charged a Dark Sphere, beginning a classic game of midair tennis. "I was looking forward to this!" Cheren remarked, batting the ball back with ease. But as an added twist, Ganon conjured a second ball and hit it over with the first one, forcing Cheren to use spin attacks to hit both back. Ganondorf was hit and fell to the ground, giving Cheren the chance to land some blows.

Ganondorf suddenly jumped up, grabbed Cheren by the collar, and shoved him against the floor while giving him a jolt of purple lightning. Ganon then leapt away and conjured a triangle-shaped energy field around his enemy. Panini quickly swooped in and rescued her friend before fire erupted in the triangle. "So, the Uno Royal Family's servants are still loyal. You'd best consider changing sides while I'm still merciful!"

"I'm nobody's servant, Pig Nose!"

"Thanks, Pan!" Cheren recovered from his shock and ran to clash with Ganon again. He did a Shield Bash to briefly drop Ganon's guard and leap behind the Dark Lord for a back strike. Ganondorf surged lightning into his sword, and Cheren ran when the demon pursued. He dodged Ganon's swings and blocked with the Mirror Shield, luckily absorbing the electric and shooting it back in a little burst. Ganondorf leapt in the air and spun as his body lit up like a firecracker, Cheren swiftly dodging when the demon swooped down in attempt to drill him. When Ganon landed, Cheren had a brief second to shoot him with a Light Arrow, followed by a flurry of sword strikes.

"It's a relief to see you haven't lost any of your strength! But do not forget, the power of Six Demons dwells inside me!" Dark Chi burst from his form as an illusion of Chernabog rose and roared. Ganon stroked the air with his other hand and formed a floating dark piano.

 _"Master, I do not mean to interrupt your battle, but I highly advise blocking your ears from the sounds of-"_

"Neeeeuuuuhhh…" Cheren fell to his knees when Dark Notes flowed around the air. Fi leapt out of the sword and closed Cheren's ears, enabling him to focus and dodge Ganon's swing. He looked to see his friends falling weak under the dark tunes, so he grabbed the Ocarina of Time and performed the Song of Healing. He played the song several times as pink notes appeared around him, having to evade Ganon's attacks the whole time. Eventually, a swarm of pink notes swirled above the room and sucked away the darkness. Ganondorf's piano disappeared, and he had a brief moment of confusion that Cheren used to chop him up.

"Snaky little child. Perhaps Lucifer's magic will teach you some respect." Ganondorf whirled his finger above him and conjured a purple portal of magic. Black seeds dropped around the ground as rose bushes grew at a rapid rate, the thorns trying to bind Cheren's legs. He hurriedly sliced the roses, but was forced to defend from Ganon. Panini set the roses aflame, so Cheren would not be distracted. "So, it seems you're dying to die first! Thanatos, destroy that brat immediately!"

Panini gasped, whipping around when the God of Death flew at her in bat form. "Kee kee kee! You know better than to interrupt a fight between men! You'll learn that the HARD way!"

"I don't THINK SO!" Death the Kid arrived and SLICED the Death God.

"KOOOO!" Thanatos changed back to normal and hit the ground.

"It's the Grim Reaper's son!" Pandora exclaimed. "When did he get here?"

"I sensed Panini was about to die around this time." Kid replied. "I came to change her fate. Also, you STILL haven't fixed your ponytails?!" he shouted at Pan.

"What's wrong with my ponytails?!"

"One is slightly askew and they lean in the same direction! It's completely unsymmetrical!"

"I DON'T GIVE A CRUD!"

"Panini, thanks again!" Cheren parried around Ganon and dealt an upper slash. "Look, Ganon, you can treat this as a sport if you want, but I just care about beating you and saving the universe!"

Ganondorf lit himself aflame and spun around, scattering the violet embers. The embers grew limbs and leapt at Cheren, but they were easy to disperse with spin attacks. Ganon shot lightning bolts that Cheren absorbed in the Mirror Shield, and Ganon dodged when the boy shot them back. Bolt after bolt shot from his fingers, Cheren deflecting each one, until Ganon suddenly shot at Panini, and Cheren's attempt to save her ended with him getting shocked. Ganondorf leapt with a flaming fist and PUNCHED him away.

Ganondorf stretched his tongue, which took the form of Hannibal Bean and tried to go up Cheren's nose. Cheren threw his Bananarang at the middle of the tongue, but it dodged upward, and Cheren threw a slash at the tip, prompting it to dodge as well. Cheren ran up, slashing at the tongue that was forced to evade, and he believed he had the chance to strike him again, but Ganon's tongue suddenly wrapped around Cheren starting from the base. The tongue channeled lightning, zapping Cheren painfully, then it tossed him away.

The Dark Lord ran forth and leapt to impale him, but-

"MASTER GANON!" Ghirahim screamed. "The batteries on your Wii Remote are running low!"

Ganon instantly halted. "DAMMIT, GHIRAHIM, I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA CHOKE YOU FOR MAKING THAT JOKE!"

Cheren recovered in time to lock onto his opponent and perform a Soul Surge. Ganon blocked him from the top, from the right, the top-left, and the bottom. Both swords collided with the other and pushed with equal strength. "I have nothing to fear, boy… If I am destroyed, I will be revived, again and again! I will continue to battle your descendants and destroy everything you know! You are cursed, Cheren. Cursed to fight me forever. Whether you survive and bare children, or die and be reincarnated, your kind will never be safe from me. Your kind will NEVER know PEACE!"

"You're the only one who's gonna suffer, Ganon!" Cheren quickly reached his right hand back, grabbed the Mirror Shield, and threw it at Ganon's leg, knocking him off balance and batting his Devil's Sword away. "Because even if I'm doomed to fight you forever!" With vigor in his heart, Cheren dealt ceaseless slashes against his human form. Ganon fell on his back, and Cheren dealt the final blow through his heart. "At least I'll always win…" (End song.)

Ganon didn't say anything after that. His jaw was dropped, and his dark blood soaked the Master Sword. "Need this back." Cheren said, removing the blade.

"M…Master…" Ghirahim gasped, having been brought to his knees by Nerehc.

The Negative knocked him out with one more hit. "I'm your master again, buddy. You have some kissing up to do."

"What a spectacular performance!" Emily clapped excitedly with Harvey beside the Egg Chamber. "It's just like my dad's old stories! Holy cow, I'm having such a fangasm!"

"I can feel it from here, and you… should probably get yourself checked." Harvey said.

Fi leapt out of the sword. _"Master Cheren, I commend your fortitude in your battle with Ganondorf… However, chances of his death at this moment in time stands at 20%. 75% of those chances lean toward his assuming of a second form. I suggest you join your fellow Guardians at the Egg Chamber posthaste."_

"Sigh… I was afraid of that." Cheren sheathed the sword and ran up to the chamber. "Okay, team: together!" He, Harvey, and Emily put their hands against the Egg Chamber.

With a flash brighter than any of the previous chambers, the Firstborn was free. Those in attendance gaped: she was not Azelf… she was not Mesprit… nor was she Uxie…

This entity bore flowing blue hair with golden eyes. With pink and silver armor, along with a golden headpiece baring a red emblem within a triangle, the three Firstborn had become one. "Thank you for finally freeing me. Allow me to introduce myself. I… am Goddess Hylia."

The children's jaws were as wide as Ganon's defeated form. "The…The Lake Trio… were one Firstborn…?" Harvey choked.

"Of course! Though I didn't know it at first. So, now the question is, which of you gets to keep me? I suppose you must fight to the death!" Hylia beamed.

"HUH?!"

"Kidding! That was Azelf's thinking! With a tad of Mesprit. Managing three minds isn't easy, you know. Especially when Uxie has such a big head. Nevertheless, all three of us were surprised. In Ancient Hyrule, Goddess Hylia was nothing more than a myth, and us three were only known as Din, Farore, and Nayru. Yet, according to legend, the Kingdom of Hyrule was bound to fall, and only when Goddess Hylia returned to the world would it be reborn. For a long time, we believed Palutena would fulfill the role of Hylia… but now we understand. It is our duty to revive Hyrule when the universe gets reborn."

There was a sudden burst, and they whipped in the direction of Ganondorf. Dark smog had risen out of his body, manifesting as Medusa, Hannibal Bean, Chernabog, Lucifer, Majora, and Satan himself. _"Master Cheren, I feel Ganon's power rising by an astounding 500%. It appears that he is fully awakening the powers of the Five Demon Saints, plus the Demon King, within his being. It would be wise to GTFO ASAP."_

"Impressive, you taught her to speak shorter sentences!" Hylia said. "But she's right. We must escape from here now!" The goddess used psychic to transport all operatives, including Death the Kid, out of there.

 **Castle Grounds**

They landed in the middle of the two fighting villain armies, yet it seemed the Brotherhood was on the verge of victory. "You guys? Did you defeat Ganon?" Control Freak asked.

"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!" Jack Spicer panicked, pointing at the castle. (Play "Beast Ganon Phase 1" from _Breath of the Wild_!)

The darkness circling the castle, and the darkness spread across the planet, gathered and condensed together. The spiked pink hair of the beast burst from the castle and lit up the sky. Ganon had assumed his purest enraged form, a colossus of the filthy Gasma he had spewed. His head was that of a boar with burning eyes, and the Satan Sword glistened with a demonic red glow.

 ** _"You are correct, Hylia… the Kingdom of Hyrule will be reborn… for I shall rebuild it in my own image! An endless kingdom of darkness and HATRED! !"_**

 _"WAAAAAAHHHH!"_ The Brotherhood ran as fast as they could.

Cheren gulped. He had only seen Satandorf in virtual reality and thought what a stupid name that was… but seeing the real thing stirred all the fear in his heart. "…Sigh." He let these fears go. "Hylia… I spent way too long pretending to be a god… but do you think I can borrow just a little bit of power?"

Hylia smiled. Folding her hands in prayer, the goddess burst with holy light. The Mark of Courage on Cheren's hand shone a blinding yellow, as did the Mark of Power on Nerehc's hand, and the Mark of Wisdom on Death the Kid's hand. "Wait a second, KID has the Triforce of Wisdom?!" Cheren exclaimed. "Does that mean… you're actually MANDY'S son?!"

"No! Ergh, it's like this…"

 **23 years ago**

"Here, Grim." Mandy casually tossed him the Triforce of Wisdom. "Give it to your kid or something. If I ever have to save the universe again, I'm gonna vomit."

 **Now**

"And because of that, my hands have never known pure symmetry. I'M A DISGRACE!" Kid broke down and cried.

"FOCUS, man!" yelled Cheren.

The triangles flew out of their hands and linked to become the one true Triforce. The three heroes laid hands on the sacred triangle, and through its glow coursed the powers of the gods. Cheren was once again encased in gold, as were his fellow Chosen Ones. They took to the sky, streaking the air like golden comets. "How pathetic." Cheren smirked. "In my mom's day, Ganon was just a warm-up for Arceus. NOW he's a warm-up for Lord English! I guess no matter how you look at it, Ganondorf Dragmire was NEVER bound to win!"

 _Phase 2: Calamity Ganon_

The Demon King spewed a beam of darkness, the three heroes dividing around it. Ganon slashed waves of fire from his sword, which only pushed them back a little until they arrived at the colossus. _"Master, you can use the Light Arrows to create rifts in Ganon's body, through which you can then strike his inner shell."_ Heeding Fi's advice, Cheren began to circle Ganon and shoot angled lines of Light Arrows. "AGH!" The demon swat him away as the Gasma reformed over the gaps. Nerehc slashed beams from his Deity Sword to distract Ganon, so Cheren could rupture another gap.

Ganon slashed the Satan Sword again, but Cheren used Soul Surge to counter with equally strong attacks. He was able to knock Ganon off guard, then Kid swooped in and sliced away at the golden gap. Ganon felt the pain to his core, blowing the trio back with a pulse. Summoning Chernabog's power, Ganon released dementors from his body. Cheren shot them down with Light Arrows, quickly defending his friends from the phantoms as well. When they neared Ganon, the Dark Beast erupted a wall of flames, and from those flames came living fireballs.

"Guys, get over here! I'll cut us an opening!" Nerehc called. Cheren and Kid quickly flew to his location and defended him from the fire demons. Nerehc vertically spun faster and faster, building energy in the Deity's Sword, and then slicing a massive blow through the wall of fire! The heroes flew into this opening as Cheren flew under Ganon's stomach, shooting open another gap. Ganon punched Cheren away and pulsed to banish the trio again. A shiny green eye opened on his forehead, originating from Medusa.

"CLOSE YOUR EYES!" Cheren screamed, knowing the eye would petrify them. They did so, and Cheren held up the Mirror Shield to reflect the eye's gaze. Ganon's head was petrified, and since the gap was still in his stomach, Kid flew up and brought the pain. Ganon warped away from the group and grew two extra arms, summoning Majora's power. Those arms formed whips and lashed at the heroes with rapid speed, and despite the boys slicing the whips with their own quick counters, the whips merely grew back.

"Enough of your cheap tricks!" Nerehc spun his blade like a fan and flew against a whip, sawing it shorter and shorter and then sawing the arm with it. Ganon snatched Nerehc in his free hand and grew the whip back.

 ** _"You must have known all along, Nerehc… you cannot destroy darkness. My link with darkness is stronger than that of Negatar Gnaa. I will exist forever, in physical form, and in the enraged hearts of all-"_**

No sooner was the Demon King smashed to the ground by a red giant whose body was all legs, arms, and a mouthless head. "Is that…?" Cheren gasped in recognition.

"I'm 8AAAAAAACK!" In the distance were five more Giants, and a tiny dot above them. That dot was Vriska. "Have I introduced my friends? Meet the Giants of Alternia! I can't 8elieve how long it took to gather them all, though… how long was it to you? Different times and all that?"

 _"RRRRRRRR!"_ The Giants dog-piled on Ganon, who squirmed and struggled in their grasp. "Hee hee!" Cheren shot a circle of Light Arrows around Ganon's head, exposing a golden gap in his form.

 _"Master, my analysis indicates the core of Ganon's being exists within the gap you have created. You, Not-Master, and Other Not-Master must combine your chi and destroy Ganon."_

"You know what that means, gang? JOIN UP!" Cheren connected his Master Sword, Light Arrow, and Mirror Shield, and he, Nerehc, and Kid locked their weapons together. Still struggling, Ganon threw Hyper Beams up, diagonal, right, and left, with the trio evading each blast while remaining together. Slowly, the power began to rise in all their weapons. "Well, guys? Last chance to declare your lines."

"I am Nerehc EiznekCm Onu, leader of the Daring New Kids! I am the bringer of Light to the Negaverse who rescued the DNK from the brink of ruin!"

"I am Death the Kid, leader of the Spirit Kids Next Door! I bring dark spirits to justice and maintain balance between the Spirit and Mortal Worlds!"

"And I am Cheren Uno… leader of the Earth Kids Next Door. And I will lead my friends to the New Universe, and we will keep going on adventures 'til the end of time! And you, Ganondorf Dragmire… you will do nothing but suffer in your own hatred. SO, HAVE A NICE ETERNITY! !"

The Sealing Tri-Strike was fully ready, and putting all the strength in their blades, they flew and PIERCED Ganon's core. In that moment, the demon was consumed by light. And in that light, he saw a most marvelous figure clad in green. _An eternity… of hatred… An eternity… of **you** … I'm looking forward to it… Link…_ (End song.)

Light cracks ruptured everywhere on Ganon's body. The Giants released and leapt away as he exploded with holy light. The light stretched into the heavens and cleared the red sky. A beautiful blue sky once again hovered over Alternia.

Cheren, Nerehc, and Kid set foot on the ground. The light around their bodies vanished. "Not as epic as when my mom did it, but it's okay."

 _"Rrrrrr…"_ The earth shook when the Giants gathered around them. "You made a good effort, 8oys!"

"Shouldn't _we_ get a fraction of that power?" Emily questioned.

"Yeah, I never got why the Triforce holders didn't all get Firstborn." Harvey said.

"So, Vriska, how again do you know the Giants so well?" Cheren asked.

"Well, it's kind of a long story that I'd rather not get into. Not until we 8eat English, at least. 8ut I'll show you the basis. You six can change 8ack now!"

The Giants glowed and quickly shrunk down to a more human size. Their shapes changed, and when the light cleared, they had assumed the identities of trolls. "Meet the other half of the Paradox Crew! Aradia Megido!"

"Hell0." greeted a female troll with horns like a ram.

"Sollux Captor!"

"Iit ii2 niice two meet you." greeted a troll with 3-D oval-shaped glasses.

"Equius Zahhak!"

"Dà I will appreciate no 100dicrous language regarding my STRONG physique." stated a muscular troll with broken sunglasses, teeth, and a horn. "…Horse pun."

"Raw8erry Preserves!"

"Apple you gummy some food?" asked a troll with horns shaped like bat wings and bright-pink hair, also shaped like bat wings. "'Custard I might eat you up."

"Yeah, she does food puns. And this lovely lady is Yosafire Holior. You might remem8er her from my future self's story, Cheren."

"IDK what Vriska told you, but w/e it is, SHE'S LYING! !" Yosafire panicked. She had bright green hair and wore a red sweater with a Cross necklace. "IDN steal Rawberry's F."

"And finally, this legless little 8oy is Tavros." Vriska directed them at the long-horned troll lain on the ground.

"nICE tO sEE yOU aGAIN, vRISKA, pLEASE hELP mE fIND mY, cHAIR,"

"Th…The Termina Giants… they were all trolls?" Cheren asked.

"Look, how a8out we save explan8ion until we get 8ack? The IDA will pro8a8ly want to round up all these villains. …8est get started on that!" Vriska gathered the trolls and teleported.

 _"HELP US OUT! !"_ the kids shouted.

"Well, at least you boys finally defeated Ganon." Panini smiled. "That just leaves one more Darkness… before the big guy."

Only a few globs of Gasma remained after Ganon's explosion. A green-haired beauty trekked this marsh, using holy light to melt it away. And in the mess, she found someone most important to her. "Mmmm…" The dark-haired goddess awoke. "Palu…tena…"

The Goddess of Light had extended an arm for her sister. "Medusa…"

"…" Medusa took Palutena's hand and was helped to her feet. "What on earth has… been happening?"

"Another day in the life of Kids Next Door. …The universe will be born again soon, Medusa. You and I have a job to do as well. A Balance to keep."

"Sigh… I am about tired of this damn prophecy."

"MEDUSAAAAA!" The Dark Goddess was tackled to the ground by her faithful subjects. "OH, LORDY! You're not part of Ganon, anymore! !" Thanatos exclaimed.

"We missed you so much!" Pandora cried. "Ganon was such an ASS!"

"We'll never leave you agai-ai-ain!"

"Let's go on vacation after this, just the three of us!"

And the hench-gods cried. "Ugh… you hopeless morons." Medusa and Palutena chuckled.

 **Casino English**

"NO FREAKING WAY!" Bill nearly tore his hair out once he saw what was onscreen. "How the fuck did all those worn-out supervillains one-shot the ENTIRE Backup Army?!"

"To be fair, not many of them were from anime dimensions." Dimentio shrugged. "At least we still have the officers."

"Make sure they stay at their posts, Dimentio! Those bratty Kids Next Door will be coming for us next. We CANNOT let them get close to Lord English while he's like this! See to it that NOTHING can penetrate this castle!"

"LORD ENGLISH!" Darkseid suddenly burst in. "I will prove my superiority once and for ALL!" He charged forth—Dimentio zapped him down to the size of an ant. Bill Cipher walked up and squashed him under his staff.

"Yeah… Too bad we rented you from the ScrewAttack Dimension." Bill said with spite. "The REAL Darkseid didn't wanna join us…"

 **God Production Chamber**

Zanifr Mimchi snuck into the chamber under no one's knowledge. Holding a vial of Dark Chi, he injected all the unhatched eggs with it. This included a black egg with red lines, a pixel egg, a tiny egg, and a pirate skull egg (obvious foreshadows). "Well, Ganon… even though you are MMost likely dead by now, I've kept MMy end of the deal. When the New Universe is born, these Firstborn will hatch… and this Dark Chi will force them to spread chaos. I have MMy doubts that they will fully adapt to it, of course. …"

Zanifr thought back to three years ago, to his talk with Cheren on the beach. "And yet… I cannot believe how far these children have come. That boy… has astonished MMe in MMore ways than I can count. Perhaps they can destroy Lord English. …And if they do… hmm hmm hmmmm." He smirked, looking at all the Firstborn Eggs before him. "The New Universe is going to be _quite_ entertaining. …I think I should _personally_ MMake one MMy own." He approached a frosted egg with a glowing hand of darkness.

* * *

 **So, did you notice when Ganondorf made those rose bushes with Lucifer's magic? That was a reference to my _Witch's Ghost_ story, because Ellen made magic rose bushes.**


	33. The Last Lunch

**Get ready for a montage!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-33: The Last Lunch_**

 **Hivebent**

"Ladies and gentlemen, I will now tell you the origins of the Termina Giants!" Vriska announced. "You were curious a8out their origins and their connections to our world, so I am here now to tell you: the truth a8out the Giants is… they were failed God Tiers."

Cheren, Nerehc, and Miyuki did an anime drop. "I actually forgot about them." Panini blushed. "I know, I shouldn't have…"

"Yes. You see, these six were originally part of our crew, and they found their own Quest 8eds and tried to 8ecome God Tiers. Unfortun8ly, they failed to meet all the criteria, so when they killed their selves, their 8odies transformed into those freaks."

"But I thought there was n/w to change back from those forms, y/k?" Yosafire inquired.

"Vriska, is this why thou hast requested my Winds of Truth?" Fybi questioned.

"Uh-h8h!" Vriska held up a pump. "I wanted to see if it could change them 8ack to their regular form. Surprised it worked, actually."

"Frank goodness, be-custard I'm starving!" Rawberry proclaimed. "You don't know how painful it is to live without a mouth! No mouth beans no eating!"

"I have a tasty little bean right here!" Anthony held Vweeb up.

"I'LL STEAK IT!" Rawberry's eyes went wide.

"I'M NOT A BEAN, DON'T EAT ME!"

"Pray, methinks I hath deciphered the rest." Fybi smiled thoughtfully. "Tavros was among those that hath gigantified, and thou were saddened by this because thou-" Her mouth was sealed by Vriska's psychic.

"Not another word out of you, young lady!" Vriska grinned sheepishly, and was clearly blushing. "Making stuff up out of the 8lue, honestly!"

"Hey, she's right!" Aisa shouted. "You pretended to help Bill in order to save-"

"YOU HEARD NOTHING! !" Vriska sealed both their mouths.

"Ugh." Cheren sighed. "Well, if that _is_ the case, I guess Bill wouldn't have known his proposal was pointless, because Lord English can't see anything in this time."

"That is correct." Calliope nodded. "I sUppose it was thanks to Vriska's deep love for him that I was able to get free."

"wHAT, dID sHE sAY, vRISKA?" Tavros asked.

"NOTHING, YOU IDIOT!" She lifted him up and spun him in the air. "Don't make me 8reak those arms, too!"

"YoU did a great job defeating Ganondorf, Cheren." Calliope said. "And now… those foUr shoUld be arriving very soon."

"We're already here." A voice spoke from the entrance. There stood Negatar Gnaa and Avatar Aang. The former had something slouched over his shoulder.

"Oops! My All-Sight mUst be a bit off, hehe!" ^u^; Calliope blushed.

"Lord Gnaa!" Nerehc recognized.

"Hmm? Say, you're the boy from before. You seem different, though." Gnaa replied.

"We brought someone along with us." Aang stepped aside to reveal a spike-haired boy propping himself up with a Keyblade.

"Sora!" exclaimed Kimaya.

"Kim!" grinned Sora. "I'm glad you made it back okay."

"And we also… have _this_." Gnaa grabbed the thing off his shoulder and plopped it on the floor.

Xehanort's eyes were wide and brimming with awe and tears. "χ…blade…" He was so beholden to the sight he had seen that he could not move. "χ…blade…"

"Xehanort never needed the hearts to create the legendary Keyblade." Gnaa explained. "It may have worked that way in his world… but all Aang and I needed to do was Collide to create the χ-blade. Just the very sight of it made him lose his senses."

"χχχχχχχχ-blaaaaaade…" (sounds like 'keeeeey-blaaaaade')

"A fitting end for such a fool." Gnaa dragged the old scientist to the Penance Chamber and threw him in. Ansem the Wise merely looked at him in pity.

"Um, wasn't Davy Jones supposed to be with him, too?" Melody asked.

"Yes. He's outside on the _Dutchman_."

 _"WHAT?!"_

"There is nothing to fear. His loyalty is still with me. That's why he has agreed to bring us to Lord English's castle."

"His… castle…?"

"We can talk aboUt that later." Calliope said. "We have other matters to attend to. For yoU see, the Zoni are complete!"

Some fanfare played as a swarm of black, bug-eyed robots flew into the living room and took up the ceiling. Stepping out behind them were Kanaya, Carol, and Vanellope, who stood with pride at their success. The last Zoni to appear was one with a mouth and pink face. "Greetings, children." Orvus said. "My Zoni and I will be happy to assist you."

 _"We are Zoni. Objective: destroy the English. We will help you destroy it."_

Cheren remembered that line. "So, the 'it' they were speaking of all this time was Lord English?!"

"Apparently so." Vanel shrugged.

"By Far Our Greatest Invention, Yet!" Kanaya beamed. "These Robots Have More Powerful Time Chi Than The Portal We Used To Send People To Your Dimension!"

"And WE helped!" Carol winked. "Maseyfairy, this means you owe me six million dollars!"

"WAAAAAAAT?" The color drained from Mason's face.

"What's even the big deal? I never see her pushing your debt." Haruka inquired.

"She sends bodyguards to drag me to her house and make me serve her every other weekend." Mason moaned.

"Oh. So, that's where you've been."

"Indeed, the Zoni can warp Us between this dimension and yoUr dimension in a heartbeat." Calliope explained. "And they can send Us to any time, as well. BUt oUr mission will take place in the Original Worlds, too. We mUst borrow the IDA's Transportifyer."

"You'll be happy to know that we already contacted them!" Stanford Pines said. "After explaining your story, they considered the possibility you would need to use it. Their only request is that you don't spill anything on it. They just washed…"

"I've written down a list of the paradoxes we need to create." Calliope drew out a piece of paper. "And before yoU have any paradox-related concerns, jUst know that, given the UniqUe natUre of this dimension, it won't seem as thoUgh anything has changed despite oUr interference. BUt rest assUred, this does make a difference!"

"Why did you look at me when you explained that?" Sunni asked.

"Oh, no reason!" ^uO "We shoUld get started as soon as possible. Is everyone ready?"

"Hold on one second!" Maddy stated. "…We need some motivational music!"

"I know just what to play!" sung Meloetta. (Play "Immortals" by Fall Out Boy!)

Kanaya hooked her computer up to one of the Zoni and began to type messages, describing key points in their mission, and then she mailed it to herself in the past. The trolls linked their computers with other Zoni, programming commands. From the Zoni's eyes, they could see what they were doing. They watched as the Zoni traveled back in time to aid Cheren on his Termina adventure, restore Vanellope's memories which she herself had Copied and Pasted inside of them, and they even saved Nebula from falling to her death after her chi was taken by Vendra.

A Zoni scanned Silvers Rayleigh and assumed his form. It then warped back in time to Pokitaru, where it awaited Maddy with the intention of training her. Aurora Uno explained to Luffy how she met Brook, so after a quick visit to the IDA's base, they got in touch with Brook and had a Zoni take his form. It would warp to the Haunted Cove and wait to train Aurora in icebending.

At the IDA, Anthony and Suki showed the Transportifyer operators Calliope's list, which named the Pyrameglyphs they would need to find. They programmed the portal to set the coordinates, and the Zoni to target specific times. Within moments, Anthony and Suki warped to Baltigo in the Grand Line. The boy used stonebending to break the Pyrameglyph. A dark sphere that embodied English's soul was awoken. It tried to attack them, but Suki froze the darkness solid. She clasped the air in her hand and shattered the ice, along with the dark. They escaped before Aliehs and young Teach arrived to find nothing.

They warped to the Soul Society and destroyed Aizen's Pyrameglyph, resulting in confusion between his young self and Karin. They warped to Radiant Garden and destroyed Xehanort's; the young master and Kimaya were like, "What da fuck?" They warped to the Floating Lands and destroyed Zeref's; he and Nollid were confused. They warped to Dark Space and needed a bit more effort to destroy Thanos's; Atnort and Annaira were panicking at the sight.

Lastly, they warped to the World Without Law; upon destroying the Trapeglyph, the Piece of English was exposed taking a shower. It called the police and held Anthony and Suki on trial, but Zach posed as their lawyer and proved they were trying to open a keyboard shop. Since everyone needed new keyboards, they were found innocent, and the Piece of English died.

With that, they returned to New Galaxia, and from there warped to Voldemort's Pyrameglyph, Davy Jones', Dimentio's, Madara's, and Zorc's. They warped to Crystallia and destroyed Yellow Diamond's, then escaped just before Anthony encountered his past self. The final Pyrameglyph was Ganondorf's under the Sanzu River. Death the Kid had to use magic to cut a deep gap in the river and go underneath to find the stone. He would teleport out of there, bring it back to Hivebent, and have Anthony destroy it.

The two were exhausted after all the time-space jumping. Miyuki smiled, patted Suki's shoulder, and told her to take a nap. Calliope showed Nagisa the list, and the girl-boy freaked out. He rapidly shook his head, but Cheren touched his shoulder and nodded. Nagisa cried in embarrassment. He dressed up and went back in time to infiltrate Lord English's clock tower. The Cheren back then was confused as to why Nagisa was flirting with him, but the gestures made Lord English so excited, his chi went unstable and the clock tower collapsed.

When Nagisa returned, Morgiana tried to ask what he had to do, but he told her not to. After that, Cheren had the Zoni warp him to the distant past, where and when he met the Happy Mask Man. Cheren gave him some careful instructions before leaving. Cutting to Castle Hell, King Malladus was fast asleep in his throne. A tiny figure skittered past him in the background, entered a door, then came skittering out with a stolen vial of God Poison.

The kids gathered planets from the Planet Tree, and April began to paint them all. She took ideas from her fellow operatives, ensuring each planet was beautiful and unique, and that all the races, alive or extinct, would have a place to call home once again. She would give a home to Aisa's people, the Shandians, and per Cheren's request, design a New Hyrule. Dillon suggested a planet of superheroes called Superbia, and Augustus wanted to make Sweetopia, a world of food and candy. By the end of this, April would be known as the Girl Who Painted the Cosmos.

When Anthony finished resting, he returned to Planet Ore and took eight cubes of Permanite. Kimaya returned to Loktup and amassed a bunch of Unown, and the Dimension Rebels would organize the Unown into their respective messages. Wendy would use magic to change the shape of the Unown into unique letters, then meld them against the stones. (She was assured that they would be fine.) Of course, Bo-bobo had trouble writing his, so he made a test Poneglyph, which would no doubt be used to deceive His Lordship.

Finally, when all the planets were complete, they unfroze the Universe Frog. The frog swallowed all the planets and also their home planets (but not before Nebula brought the Galactic Kid Council out of them; gotta have everyone for this battle). Wendy transformed the Cosmic Majesty into Don Gero, and then the Zoni warped him to the distant past.

Davy Jones inhaled smoke from his pipe and blew it out one of his tentacles. To his right, he looked and saw Voldemort in Bellatrix's body. Lined up on the deck of the _Dutchman_ were an army of Inferi, ready for the battle of their afterlives. (End song.)

"OKAY, it's time for some endgame honesty." Karkat said to the Darknesses. "Which of you actually LIKES Lord English and wants to live in his shitty MS Paint world?" He raised a picture of The Thirteen reimagined as horrid creations.

"Oh, hell no." Aizen said.

"I would rather be dead." Zeref said.

"GREAT! So, how about working together to kick his ass and save all of our universes?"

"ZE HA HA HA!" laughed Teach. "Well, of COURSE I would! No offense, guys, it was fun to conquer the multiverse with ya, but I can't very well be free with HIS crazy 8's peering over me!"

"I refuse to live under that monster's rule." Thanos said. "Since you desire the power of Thanos, I will oblige. …Provided I am restored to my full height."

"χχχχχχ-blaaaade…" drawled Xehanort.

"Oh, I knew it would come to this…" Baldy Bald III picked Xehanort up. "Don't worry, Xehanort! Your legacy will live on, as my dummy!" He held the scientist like a puppet. "'Hey, kids! My name is Xeny the Nort! I give people safe tips on organ-harvesting!'"

"Look, are you and Xeny going to help us or not?" Vaati asked in disbelief.

"'SURE, WE ARE!' I agree, Xeny! After all, a kid's show that doesn't help might as well be a YouTube series!"

"Will someone tell me how I got in here?" Truman Kirman asked.

"Oh, right." Karkat said, realizing Truman had no idea what was happening. "Somebody fill him in."

"LUNCH TIME, LUNCH TIIIIME!" Yuzu loudly banged a cooking pot with a ladle. "Last battle, last time to eat a healthy meal! I want no one going to English's castle on an empty stomach! Set your butts on those seats and stuff your faces appropriately!" (Play "Village Harbor" from _One Piece_!)

"OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!" Not long after, Yosafire and Rawberry ordered apple cakes and Bat Blood Stews. "Oooooo I haven't eaten ISL!" Yosafire cried.

"Uh, dude, is that cooked from real bats?" Lola asked Rawberry.

"One course!" Raw licked her lips. "Bats are my favorite snack! …Come to think of it, you look pretty tasty!"

"YAAAAH!" Lola became a bat and flew away.

"COME BACK HERE, FOOD!" Rawberry chased her, knife and fork ready. (Yet, she was eating soup.)

Haruka decided to take a seat across from Yosafire. "That's a pretty necklace." she said, noticing the latter's golden Cross. "Do they have Christianity in your world?"

"Oh, o/c!" Yosaf grinned, showing the frosting on her teeth. "Although, I don't exactly practice it myself. I always believed in Arceus." Yosaf blushed. "IJL Christianity's teachings."

"Yeah, SWM."

"'Swim'?"

"Ha ha ha! No, silly, Same With Me!"

"You talk like me, too?!" Yosaf gaped.

"It's just basic Internet lingo, I do it all the time! …On the Internet, that is."

"LOL! !" the troll laughed.

"XD!" Haruka joined.

Mocha noticed that Feferi was feeding Equius some Hulk Melons, watermelons shaped like Hulk's fists. She approached them and asked, "Why are you feeding him?"

"O)(, because Equius can't )(old a fork wort)( a codfis)(!" Feferi giggled.

"D- You see, I am insanely STRONG! Even iron would crumple in my hand." Equius clarified.

"Ha ha ha! Okay, strong guy, how about an arm-wrestle?" Mocha smirked, extending a hand.

Equius reached and took it. In a split second, he FLIPPED the giant over and broke through the floor. "Okay… you're strong…"

Nolan York rolled his wheelchair over beside Tavros, who was eating a cereal designed like tiny bent legs. "So, what's your story?" Nolan asked.

"i wAS sHOT bY a, gEM aSSASSIN," Tavros stuttered. "hOW, aBOUT yOU?"

"I was… crushed by a girl in a locker suit."

"…yOUR wORLD iS wEIRD,"

Miyuki Crystal was sharing a bowl of Unsociable Soup (colored gray and dreary) with Aradia Megido. "What's your favorite pastime?" Miyuki broke the silence.

"I enj0y taking part in breaking things." Aradia picked up the bowl and dropped it on the floor.

"Oh."

"Ladiie2, would you happen to know iif Kanaya wa2 tamperiing wiith my computer?" Sollux asked Carol, Vanel, and Kanaya.

" _Your_ computer?" Carol questioned.

Kanaya clamped her mouth shut and whispered, _"His Computer Was The Most Technologically Advanced, So The Only Way To Get Any Work Done Was To… Well…"_

"II can hear all of your capiitaliized word2!" Sollux said angrily.

"Eeek!"

"No one wa2 to touch the Game Bro'2 iitem2 whiile II was away! THII2 call2 for punii2hment by Rock Em 2ock Em Robot2!" He whipped out a Gameboy, which materialized a large blue robot.

"Oh, Dear." Kanaya sighed before letting the digital toy-bot beat away at her.

"Guuueeeess WHAT, KIDS!" announced Czar Baldy Bald, before talking for Xeny the Nort. "'It's Math Time! Who can tell me the answer to Snowman + Cruciferous Vegetable?'"

"The heck if Oi know, Oi stink at math!" Sheila shouted.

"I know! A frosty booger!" Suki picked her nose and extracted one.

"A disgusting piece of s***." Jessie cursed.

"Something insane, methinks." Fybi eye-rolled.

"Nah, I'm goin' with what s*** mouth thinks." Kimaya remarked.

"Well, it does sound creative." April smiled.

"And of course, the answer is Rhubarb Grocery Carts." Zach said knowledgeably.

"YOU FOOLS! !" Baldy SMACKED them all. "Even the dumbest of math nerds know the answer was Cough Drops For An Arctic Koala! Now you all have to repeat 1/2th grade!"

 _"Aaaaawwww…"_

"'Come on, Baldy, at least they tried.'" said Xeny the Nort. "'I think they deserve a prize! Oh, I know! Let's give them some free keys from my chain!'" He extracted a key ring with seven keys.

"Cool! Ah'll take the one with a sun on it!" Sheila chose.

"The one with the bubbles, please." Jessie picked.

"Icy, icy!" Suki pointed at the frosty key.

"That clown one will make me feel SUPER smart!" Zach beamed.

"Those tornadoes doth look fierce." Fybi pointed.

"I'll take the paintbrush one!" April said.

"'Guess that leaves me with the black one." Kimaya shrugged.

"'Excellent! Then I hereby dub thee all as Key People!'" Xeny gave them each their desired keys. (End song.)

 _". . . . . WHAT?! You mean THIS is how we get our Keyblades?!"_

"Well, Xehanort _is_ a recognized Master." Sora shrugged.

"He's not even f**king conscious!" Jessie argued.

"TrUe, bUt Baldy Bald considers him conscioUs!" Calliope reasoned. "That's all that matters!" ^u^

"Unbelievable." Maddy face-palmed.

"So with that, we mUst hide them inside Kimaya's Poneglyph. …Oh yes, Wendy, please change the form of Zach's Keyblade, will yoU?"

"Huh? Well, okay." Wendy readied her wand. Under Calliope's instruction, she changed the clown Keyblade into a King's Keyblade. The Zoni collected the keys and used their bending to warp the keys inside Kimaya's would-be Poneglyph. Now was the time to send them to their respective points.

Cheren and Calliope overlooked the cafeteria, pleased to see everyone happy. The base felt a lot emptier, for all the Catch Card Captives had been returned to the IDA, to be sent back to their worlds once they were all repaired. "YoUr friends are all trUly amazing, Cheren."

"That must be a lot, coming from a god like you."

"Oh, I'm no god. In my own existence, I'm no different from yoU. Of all the worlds my brother and I created, none of them have been more UniqUe and more complex than yoUrs. YoU've written yoUr own stories, and yoU've become greater characters than my brother and I coUld ever hope to be."

"Heh heh…" Cheren glanced at her leg. "You know, you never mentioned that shackle on your ankle."

"Oh, this." She held it up. "I forged it with my power dUring my disembodiment. I knew my brother woUld lose a leg to ArceUs, and since we share a body, mine woUld be lost, too. It's jUst easier to walk aroUnd, yoU know?"

"Oh!" Cheren remembered when Arceus attacked English. His leg was lost, so he replaced it with a golden peg.

"As yoU coUld tell then, the All-PowerfUl does have weaknesses. He is connected to his Past, Present, and FUtUre selves. If one of them loses a limb, the others will as well."

"They do? So, that's another way to fight him?"

"YoU're very smart!" Calliope grinned.

"But why couldn't I just cut _you_ up if you're connected?"

"In reality, yoU coUld. BUt it will not end Us permanently. Only the Big Bang will trUly destroy Us. …BUt if yoU really want to, I'll let yoU cUt me."

"…Nah." Cheren smirked. "It wouldn't be right to cut a lady."

"Hee hee!" ^u^

Meanwhile, Nebula had gone up to Feferi's room, where the sounds of their chattering were drowned out. With a snap of her fingers, a brown-haired man in a white top warped into being. He had a single blue eye and an eyepatch over the empty left socket. "I apologize if my pocket is a little uncomfortable, King Andrew."

"I'm not The King, anymore." Andrew replied with a smile. "Or at least… I won't be for long."

"Are you sure you're prepared for this?"

"I've spent the last three years honing my Haki to perfection. Even before all this happened, a part of me felt that, one day, I would have to destroy the Octogan. Even if it costed my life."

"I'm sorry it had to be this way…" Nebula bowed her head in regret.

"It doesn't matter to me. As long as the Kids Next Door can have a future… I can go in peace."

"Nebula?" She turned as Kanaya approached her. "Good, You're Here. I Felt That I Should Tell You Something Regarding The Zoni."

"What is it?"

"As You Know, We Have Programmed The Zoni To Travel Through Time And Aid You All In Your Quests. But One Of Those Commands Was To Seal The Black Hole That Was Zathura. The Reason Zathura Was Sealed Was To Prevent Dimentio From Escaping Into The Universe. As An Insane Logia Spacebender, He Would've Become A Worse Threat If He Were Allowed To Roam Free. But, Because He Was Trapped Inside, Well… He Went A Little Crazy."

Nebula pieced the rest together. "…I already figured Dimentio was the one who destroyed Zathura, but…"

"But the fault is… kind of mine." Kanaya spoke in low caps, feeling guilty. "It was the only way to prevent further damage. And This Also Prevented Dimentio From Entering The Netherverse. But Bill Was Already One Step Ahead. He's The One Who Invaded Your Mother's Sleep 4,000 Years Ago, And Gave Her The Idea That Zathura Could Erase The Universe And Build A New One. He Must Have Known This Would Fail And Dimentio Would Be Banished To The Netherverse, Where He Could Tamper With The Space Gate."

"Hm hm hm. Fate is a funny thing." Nebula chuckled. "If you're trying to apologize, you don't have to. Zathura was never my home to begin with. But I can still make them pay for what they've done."

After a half-hour, their final lunch break came to an end. It was now time. Nebula had resized the _Noah_ , and the timebenders used their power to repair it. The Kids Next Door on the _Noah_ , The Thirteen and Inferi Army on the _King Dutchman_ , along with Terezi and the Trollian ancestors. Karkat was distraught to see Kankri over there. The Galactic Kid Council and the Dimension Rebels rode their own ships, and with the Gem Empire to back them up, they were ready to fly into No Return.

"Kids Next Door and Friends of the Multiverse!" Nebula announced to all. "You have all fought very brave and very hard! I commend you all for how much we accomplished! But this battle is not yet over. Today, we will infiltrate Lord English's castle, and bring this war to an end! We will restore ALL of our worlds, and we will ALL return to our homes! I am counting on every one of you: friends. Enemies. Gods. Undead. Allies. Give this final battle your all, and do not stop until the Lord of Time is DEAD!"

 _"FOR REVAAAAN!"_ the Brotherhood roared.

 _"FOR THE KIDS NEXT DOOR!"_ the Kid Council roared.

 _"FOR OUR WORLDS!"_ the Dimension Rebels and Thirteen cheered.

 _"FOR THE GEMS!"_ the Gem Fleet cheered.

 _"FOR EVERYONE! ! !"_

"Kids Next Door and Allies:" Nebula turned around. "We sail to our Final Challenge!"

The time-space whale, Mobius Dick, emerged out of space. Combining its power with the Zoni, a humongous portal was opened, big enough to welcome ALL of the armies. They sailed through—the voyage that once took three years merely took three minutes. In a flash, they were back in their home dimension, reduced to ruin by Lord English's power. There, looming in the distance, was a fortress the size of a planet, a tremendous green castle with amusement park rides and giant casino games: Lord English's Casino Castle.


	34. The Final Countdown, Part 1

**…I just learned Adam West died on June 9, 2017. Let's have a moment of silence…**

 **…**

 **…**

 **…**

 **Hokay. You guys remember The Scattered Realms from _Legend of the Eight Firstborn_? It was 33,000 words long? Yeah, you'd be crazy if you think I got enough energy for another one of those. But I'll make do with what I have.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-34: The Final Countdown, Part 1_**

 **Casino English**

The Casino Castle was a vast and vibrant metropolis of green lights and neon structures. Amusement park rides, giant slot machines, and statues that embodied His Lordship's likeness. From the most secure quarters, Bill Cipher and Dimentio watched as coated women were softly patting the Lord's shoulders. "Dammit! All the brainwashed Disney Princesses in the universes can't wake Lord English up!"

"Oh, what's the rush?" Dimentio asked. "If those would-be heroes even show up, I can shrink them all to the size of atoms."

"Don't get cocky. We both know you're using every ounce of energy to keep that Multiverse Portal inside you. And if Lord English doesn't wake up, he can't help you. Conserve your chi."

"Oh, what a shame. Sigh… well, I guess I'll just watch the show." He faced out the window. (Play the Main Theme from _Smash Bros. Brawl_!)

The entire fleet of heroes splorped out of space and flew headfirst toward the castle. No later did a massive fleet emerge from the castle and bombard them with lasers. Heartless, Grimm, Akuma, Mega Pokémon, pirates, all enemies that had signed over to Lord English worked to defend his castle. "ZEEEE HA HA HAAAA!" Blackbeard crashed on the castle ground like a meteor, causing a massive earthquake that took down the surrounding forces.

"GO, MY ARMY OF THE UNDEAD-AH!" Davy Jones roared as the Inferi used their powers to defend the _King Dutchman_. "Show them our eternal FURY!"

Nigel Uno became a dragon and said, _"For the record, we're not YOUR army!"_ before going to burn the enemies.

Ruby Rose and Allen Walker stood back-to-back and blasted Akuma and Grimm. Liaziana slashed massive airwaves from her sword and cut down many, and tiny Kateenian ships swarmed enemies like fireflies and destroyed them together, moving so fast that the enemies couldn't hit them.

"Un…be…LIEVABLE!" Bill Cipher tore his hair out. "Those traitorous idiots are actually HELPING the Kids Next Door?! After ALL the luxury I gave them for three years?! HOW DARE THEY BETRAY ME!"

"Well, since we're not protecting planets anymore," Augustus began, piloting the _Noah_ , "what's the harm in ramming this ship right through their walls?" So, without a moment's hesitation, Augustus drove the _Noah_ through countless towers of the castle—the combined psychic attacks of Mega Alakazam grabbed the massive vessel and pushed it back. A hatch burst open on the bottom of the _Noah_ , and out came Zach's Gravy Train with everyone onboard. "Super Fist of The Fool, We're Too Good For Giant Gum Ships! Puny trains made of sticks glued by gravy are the way to go!"

"It coulda at least had better cushions!" Anthony complained.

"I'll stick to yonder skies, thank thee!" Fybi grinned, flying alongside them and shooting down enemies.

"Zach, there's a bunch of land mines up ahead!" Maddy sensed.

"Never fear!" Zach grabbed 30 lassos and whirled them around. "Super Fist of The Fool, Metahuman Shields!" The lassos flew in multiple directions and caught several Brotherhood members.

 _"WAAAAHH!"_ The villains were all yanked under the Gravy Train and forced to run and carry it.

"My train just got back from the gym, it's too tired of working. Sometimes, we all need a bunch of criminals to carry us."

They soon crossed the mine field as the villains suffered round after round of explosions. Thankfully, they made it past the mines, and the injured villains were still charging forward. "Zach, perhaps we should allow them time to rest." Arianna said.

"The time for rest is over! And it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings! Or in this case, the giant Hulk wannabe with flashy eyes! I'm as eager as a beaver with a cleaver, I can't wait to finally cleave that fool in twain!"

"But how do we know where Lord English is?" Wendy asked.

"Where all the big bad gUys like to hide!" Calliope winked. "At the top!" She pointed forward.

"At that huge building with his head on it?" Lee Andrew asked.

"No, it's a little fUrther than that. It may actUally take a few days before we get there."

 _"WHAT?! A FEW DAYS?!"_

"There's no WAY we can keep fighting for multiple days straight!" Aranea shouted.

"TrUe, bUt yoU still managed to complete the main part of the prophecy in only one month. YoU trained for three whole years and that meal has fUlly rejUvenated yoU. I'm confident yoU can sUrvive!"

"…Well, I'm confident, too." Cheren smiled.

"Yeah! Besides, it's either us or the universe." Aurora said.

"Wendy, you remembered to give everyone a Vanishing Box, right?" Charle asked, currently in a humanoid form. "(Finally kicked the dog talk!)"

"Of course I did! Right, guys?" As Wendy asked, all the Sector Leaders presented Vanishing Boxes.

"We're about to break into the gates!" Goombella shouted.

"Everyone, eyes front and don't hold back!" Cheren ordered passionately. "Our target is Lord English! Don't stop until we TAKE HIM DOWN!" (Play "Castle Bleck" from _Super Paper Mario_!)

 _Final Stage: Casino Castle_

 _Mission: Destroy Lord English and save the multiverse!_

 _Act 1_

The Gravy Train broke down the castle gates as the heroes raced down the stretching halls. Magiblots of various colors appeared around the ceiling and halls, raining dark powers upon them all. Wendy and Sunni conjured shields to protect them all, then Nebula and Sheila shot Starbursts and Light Spheres to destroy them. Next, a troupe of Darknuts came marching down, but Emily could easily use metalbending to compress their armor and crush the demons.

The heroes went up a stairwell, which had Bill Cipher busts on either side that would close in to crush them. Anthony held the busts back with his bending, leaving everyone else to destroy the spikeballs that rolled down. "He spared no expense on death traps, I'll give him that." Carol said. They all made it to the top of the stairs and faced another corridor with multiple passages. There were paintings and sculptures whose eyes flashed like the Octogan.

"Which route is the fastest way to English?" Cheren asked.

"I'm not completely sUre, actUally. Almost everything in this castle is imbUed with my brother's chi, it's making it hard for me to see the way. This is why I reqUested Wendy and Diwata to make dUplicate Vanishing Boxes: we mUst take different roUtes and locate the fastest way to English."

Billiard Boys charged in from the main passage while Imps came from their left. "So be it. Everybody pick a path and find him! Use the Vanishing Boxes to regroup with one-another if need be." Cheren ordered. With a charge of his blade, Cheren performed a Hurricane Spin and sawed through the legions of MS Paint creations. As they passed more corridors, operatives divided into groups and searched different directions.

"Come on, Mason! We'll sock that drongo in the jaw before any of them!" Sheila shouted, grabbing her mate's arm before running with lightspeed.

"WAAAAAH!" They blew through swarms of Tockbots, giant walking clocks. "Sheila, I don't think we can take them by ourselves-!" Mason was silenced when one of the Tockbots froze them. Some Chrono Koopas (turtles in green, spiked armor) charged up to stab the duo, but MaKayla King showed up to whack the Koopas away with her staff.

"You're lucky I'm just as fast when I Speed up." Kayla said. She used her chi to counter that of the Tockbots, shooting Chrono Beams to shatter them. There was a door at the end of the hall, but it spawned a face and gnashed at the kids. This door was a Heartless Possessor that spat rapid dark globs, but Sheila effortlessly sliced it up with her light-imbued Keyblade and reduced the Heartless to nothing.

In this next, grand hall towered a statue of His Lordship which they almost mistook as the real thing. An angry Sheila dashed up to the statue with a charged Light Fist, but the statue's eyes opened and flashed the whole room with neon. In an instant, Sheila was back at the start. "What in blazes?!"

"That statue froze time, I felt it!" MaKayla said. "The two of you, stay close to me!" Mason and Sheila did so, for when the statue flashed again, she used her bending to counter the Stop. Time Guys (Shy Guys with clock masks) came to bring the kids back to start, but the unfrozen MaKayla beat them down. Time unfroze, and the trio could keep going. The process repeated as Kayla kept beating Time Guys until they reached the door under the statue.

Mega Gengars immediately swooped in and hurdled Shadow Balls, which MaKayla sent back with Rewind while Sheila punched Light Beams up at them. Their path led to a chasm of green lava, requiring the need of floating cogs and giant pendulums to get across. Large clocks hung on the walls as minutes ticked like seconds, and depending on what "time" it was, the platforms would either stop, slow down, or move faster, with the changes being sudden. They watched out for what times would stop or speed and made their way across to the next room.

"'ey, who's that fellow in the snotty getup?" Sheila asked, seeing the back of a man in a limegreen tuxedo and top-hat with neon parts.

"I feel Time Chi from him!" MaKayla said. "But it's not English's…"

"Oi, get outta our way!" Sheila ran toward that man with a spinning Light Fist. The second she was about to punch the side of his head-

"ZA WĀRUDO!" The fist struck the stranger and slammed him against the wall.

"Ooooog…" Mason moaned in agony, now clothed in the getup.

"MASON?!" Sheila cried. "You mean YOU were Lord English?! HOW HAVE I NEVER EXPECTED THIS! !"

"You thought it was Lord English…" Someone grabbed MaKayla by the neck. "But it was ME! DIO!"

"Hn?!" Sheila whipped around. "Oh, great! Another crazy bloke Ah've never heard of!"

"You're Sheila, aren't you?" DIO softly stroked MaKayla's neck with his sharp, black nail. "One of the Seven Lights that Lord English fears. The fact that you all are here means that it's time for him to die, right?"

"Sheila, run!" Kayla shouted. "This guy's a timebender, so I can hold him back!"

"You misunderstand." DIO said. "You see, I am offering you the chance to join me. With my powers, not only can we destroy English… we can manipulate him to our will. Imagine, all the power of the universe, to do as we please. I merely need your help in weakening him. Then, when he is on the verge of death, I can finally make him one of my servants. And if you refuse my offer… your friend will-"

With the speed of light, Sheila KICKED the side of DIO's face and knocked him away. "Ah'm sick of you already, ya smelly musclehead! Ah reckon I'll beat the tar out of YOU before I go for English!"

"ZA WĀRUDO!" Time was instantly frozen by DIO's power. He got to his feet, walked up to Sheila, and a golden humanoid spirit emerged from his body, bombarding Sheila with rapid punches. "Useless useless useless useless useless useless useless USELESS!"

After 9 seconds passed, Sheila was injured head to toe. "SHEILA!" her friends cried.

"I'll ask you once more." DIO said. "Submit your loyalty to me, and I shall help you destroy Lord English."

"You can suck on a salt lick for all I care!" retorted Sheila. "The only one we follow is Cheren!"

"Very well." DIO set his sights on Mason. "Then perhaps, for your friend's sake, you will-"

"STOP!" MaKayla froze him in time. "Sheila, Mason, you two should just-"

"ZA WĀRUDO!" DIO froze time again.

"Not this time!" MaKayla was able to leap up and attack DIO. "As a timebender, I'm aware of any chrono distortion…?!" She was frozen. _What?! Why did I stop moving?!_

"Useless useless useless useless useless USELESS!" DIO laid the beatdown on her. Time resumed. "You may also have power over time, but my The World is superior in every way."

 _So, if he stops time, I'll only have a few seconds to move? But I can't use other attacks in stopped time. …Unless…_ Kayla glanced at the singed spot on DIO's cheek. _He must be weak against lightbending. And those fangs… could he be a vampire like Lola?_

"AAAAHH!" Sheila leapt to punch DIO again, but The World punched her away.

"Sheila!" Kayla sped herself up and caught her. "Sheila, I think you and I should fight him together!"

"Oi, first you tell me to leave, now ya want me to stay! Which is it?!"

"STAY!"

"Still you defy me? Then I will have to bring you over to my side by force!" (Play "The 13th Struggle" from _Kingdom Hearts II_!)

"Sheila, stay far away from him, but close to me!"

"Don't count me out!" Mason ran beside them. "A first mate needs to help his captain!"

 _Boss fight: Dio Brando_

"ZA WĀRUDO!"

"HERE IT COMES!" Kayla grabbed the two and leapt away. During the stopped time, she used her chi to let Sheila move, and the raccoon shot rapid Light Spheres that DIO's World countered. After 3 seconds, they were forced to stop, and DIO rushed up for another "Useless" flurry. The kids were knocked apart, so DIO decided to try and impale MaKayla with his fingers. She used the Chrono Staff to briefly Rewind DIO and escape, but the vampire fought out of the Rewind. Sheila summoned her Keyblade and conjured spires of light to slide toward DIO, who was quick to evade them.

"ZA WĀRUDO!"

"The HECK you ah!" Sheila lit up her body like gold, so even when time froze, DIO was unable to attack her.

"So, you've made yourself untouchable." DIO observed. He studied his knuckles, which were slightly burned from punching her spheres. "Even The World cannot touch her light. This girl is proving to be more troublesome than I anticipated."

"YAH!" Sheila seized the chance when time unfroze to lightspeed-punch DIO in both cheeks and then KICK him in the air.

"Way to go, Sheila!" Mason praised. "Here, drink some of this!" He used bending to draw out a few drops of Golden Flurp and throw it to her mouth.

"Hee hee HEE!" The energy boost kicked in as Sheila punched rapid Light Spheres at the floating vampire, but DIO materialized ice shield after ice shield to defend from her.

"Are you kidding, he's an icebender, too?!" Kayla shouted.

"ZA WĀRUDO!" Time was frozen again. DIO moved away from Sheila's line of fire, but MaKayla used her three seconds to leap up and bat the Light Spheres away. They began to bounce rapidly around the room even in stopped time, hitting each other as they all began to bounce, and some managed to strike DIO. This caused the Stop to wear off faster, and as Sheila fired more Light Spheres, they bounced around some more.

"Ow ow OW!" Mason yelped, taking a few hits. "Watch it, Sheila!"

DIO threw up an ice shield to block the spheres, but the raccoon turned her legs to light and kicked DIO away once the shield broke. She whipped her tail and shot a long light strip, crushing DIO against the wall. Sheila ignited her whole body—"ZA WĀRUDO!" DIO froze time yet again. "Huh?!" For some reason, Sheila seemed to be everywhere, with light streaks connecting them. "Impossible! She ran around the room so fast that her presence is everywhere! Maybe I'll just freeze this whole room, so she can't run at all!" DIO clasped the floor and turned everything to ice.

MaKayla used her free time to jump and avoid freezing, but the same couldn't be said for Mason. Time unfroze, and- "WHOA!" Sheila did a lightspeed slip on the ice and crashed rear-first into the wall. "Ow, me bum! …?" She smirked. "Say, Oi just thoughta something fun!" With that, she kicked away from the wall, sliding along the ice. "Hnnnnnrrrrr!" She channeled Light Chi to her rear and spun rapidly, bouncing all around the room like a hockey puck.

"How ridiculous." DIO scoffed. "ZA WĀRUDO!" And time was frozen.

"Not THIS TIME!" Mason, thanks to MaKayla's aid, farted a Gas Bomb at DIO's face. It weakened DIO only slightly, but it was just enough for MaKayla to grab the Stopped Sheila and YANK her out of the ground, exposing the massive Light Sphere that had grown from her rear.

"OH MY GOD! !" DIO gaped in utter disbelief.

"Take this! Golden GAS BUBBLE!" MaKayla spun with Sheila in hand and SMASHED DIO with the weight of the Light Sphere. Time resumed, and Sheila continued spinning, drilling DIO into the ground under her golden sun bum.

 _"UUUUUUUUSELEEEEEEESS. . . !"_ (End song.)

"Oiiiii, oiiii, oiiii…" Sheila's brain was spinning, as were most of her organs. Her eyes may have been inside-out, but they recovered. "Oh? Blimey, why did a big hole appear where the room used to be?"

"Ha ha, wow, Sheila!" Mason clenched his rib in laughter. "Way to let out the poisonbender in you!"

"Hee hee hee, I 'ave you to thank for that, Mate! Still, Ah can't believe what a letdown that guy was. Goin' on about takin' down Lord English and he don't even last 9 seconds."

"Eh, what can ya do?" MaKayla shrugged. "At the end of the day, he's… useless. Let's keep moving. Try not to exhaust too much of your strength until we get there!"

"Aye!" So, the trio kept moving, leaving another battle at their backs.

 **Elsewhere**

Terry Stork grabbed five Longadile's in Shadow Possession and crushed them, and Lola hurled spanking hands at Magiblots. "MaKayla just called." George reported. "She, Mason, and Sheila encountered one of the Backup Army, but they took care of him. She said she's gonna stick with them for the time being."

"I suppose they'll be all right." Miyuki said. "You aren't too tired yet, are you, Suki?"

"Nuh-uh! The sooner we beat Lord Meanie, the sooner we can play again!"

"Ha ha! You're right, Suki! Then let's keep going!" (Resume "Castle Bleck"!)

 _Act 2: Frosted Halls_

Sector IC reached a zigzaggy path that led up along a wall. It was thin and smooth, and with each level of zigzags, they turned steeper. That path turned so steep that they couldn't walk up it, but Suki froze a stairway up that part so they could. This was followed by a corridor with a snaky, slanted path over a candlelit pit. Even Suki could not cool the flames for more than a second, so she conjured a stable path along the slanted one. The candles' heat were melting it, so the kids progressed quickly.

The end of the passage led outside, providing the team a marvelous view of the vast, planet-size castle. There were platforms with trampolines splayed, bouncing the kids very high. Green fireworks were quickly being shot up and bursting in the area, threatening to end their spring-happy fun. An emerald Pyro Guy was bouncing on a trampoline, and Lola had the liberty of spanking it off. From this last trampoline, the kids landed and surfed down a slide. "WHEEEEE!" Suki took the lead on her own slippery feet.

She knocked an 8-ball off its perch as it slid down an alternate slide to the right. They slid over a switch with a circle, creating a bridge on the ball's slide. "Something tells me we need to guide that ball!" George yelled. Their slide turned wide as they had to avoid Phantom Embers and cut the strings of catapults to launch boulders and break rocks on the ball's slide. Afterwards, their slide divided into multiple segments, reconnected, and divided again, with a switch to extend the ball's slide being on certain paths. The kids simply took their own slides, ensuring a switch would be hit.

At last, they were sliding toward a giant Lord English skull. The ball rolled ahead and settled inside its empty socket, and the mouth opened to welcome them inside. Right away, they landed on a huge casino roulette, with the edge spinning rapidly. They feared that whatever spot they landed on determined their fate, so George and Miyuki Stopped the wheel. They could see a red spot with Calliope's face and slid onto it. The platform raised them up to a passage.

The air became chilly as ice seemed to cover the hall. Suki was obviously happy in her natural element, but the snow was hardly enjoyable as green top-hats with flashy neon bases were lain about. Snowmen with flashy angry eyes (Cuemen) formed and spat black snowballs, hurting George and Terry with the force of cannonballs. Suki could not control the black snow, and even her icicles took a while to totally destroy the snowmen. Miyuki helped her by casting Chrono Beams at them. A Cueman waited at the edge of a pit, but Lola spanked it off without a moment's notice.

There was a switch over this chasm, and when Suki tried to form an ice bridge, emerald flames sprung up and melted it. Another hat dropped down to create another Cueman. George had an idea and Stopped the snowman, telling Lola to keep spanking it. Momentum built up within it, sending the Cueman flying across once unfrozen and hitting the switch. A bridge of piano keys appeared, making a tune as they bounced across.

The minute they passed through the door, they were grabbing onto a massive pendulum over an endless pit. _"WHOOOOOAAA!"_ Down they went, swinging with breakneck speed, as they came crashing into a '12.' The clock above them spun around and landed on '4.' They were swinging to a 4, a 6, and a 9, but they shifted momentum to crash into the former (the 4-mer ;D). The clock spun and stopped at 8, but the numbers they were swinging to were 1, 5, and 2. They simply swung between those numbers, missed them, and returned back. An '8' was included amongst the three this time, so they hit it. The clock then switched to '10,' but they were caught off guard when three different numbers appeared along their flight path rather than the end. They barely avoided those numbers before touching the '10.'

The pendulum went swinging into a hall, dropping the kids as they forcibly slid across some ice. The hall in question made numerous twists and turns, sideways and upward, which would confuse the player if this were a game as the camera didn't change. The teammates maneuvered pits and flying flames, losing sense of direction until the ice finally stopped. They could follow a straight passage as they felt the temperature get colder.

"Guys." Lola whispered. "I hear something around that corner. It's four pairs of footsteps."

"I'll check it out." Terry used Veil to slither around the corner in question. To his surprise, it was only Sector SA. He emerged and said, "Sector S-"

"YAH!" Morgiana instinctively KICKED him in the gut, smashing Terry against a wall. Sector IC jumped around the corner for a counterattack—"Sector SA?" George said.

Morg gasped. "Sector IC! I-I'm sorry."

"Heh heh heh!" Nagisa laughed. "'Didn't think our paths would cross so soon. This castle sure is confusing, huh?"

"You can say that again." George scratched his head awkwardly.

"Ooooog. . . my last lunch. . . ." Terry moaned.

"Alas, we knew Terry well, but he died before he could serve a purpose in the New Universe." Lola joked.

"Shut up."

"Well, since you already combed that way," Goombella said, "I suppose we'll take this hall together."

"Sounds good to me." George agreed. The two sectors followed the path to a door that was frozen solid. Needing no effort at all to do so, Suki bent the door open with her powers.

This room was so cold that it felt like being in a freezer. There were ice statues of people crying in despair; some of them were missing limbs or severed in half. "Welcome to my gallery." A woman clad in white revealed herself: General Esdeath. "All these men are those that have fallen before me. Some of them are rejected boyfriends. Many have tried, but none have fit my qualifications…"

Oddly, her sights were set on Nagisa. "?!" The boy gulped, flushing in terror. Esdeath knocked everyone else away with icicles and slid up to him. "You, however… I'm quite fascinated by you. I don't know why, but I feel an aura from you that is… strangely familiar."

"Ehh… I appreciate the offer, ma'am, but I think I'm too young for you."

"Oh, that's no problem. I'm sure Lord English can increase your age with his powers."

"Did I mention I'm also a girl right now?"

"What?"

Morgiana kicked Esdeath off him with the force of a truck. "Hands off him."

"Suki, this woman… I think _she's_ the one that killed Dad." Miyuki said.

"Her?…"

"You people are annoying." Esdeath willed the ice beneath their feet to encapsulate and freeze the group, leaving only Nagisa. "Come, boy!" He grabbed the flushing blue-head. "Let us watch the universe's destruction and marry!"

An icicle struck Esdeath in the head and knocked her back. She recovered to see Suki had escaped from her ice. "Excuse me, Miss? Did you kill my dad?"

 _Her dad? Is her father that ice-wielding man from before?_ "Perhaps. What if I did?"

"It's not nice to kill peoples' dads. If you say 'sorry,' I'll forgive you."

"I have no remorse for your father. He died because he wasn't strong enough. The same reason my own father died. The sooner you understand that, the wiser you will be."

"…It's because of bad people like you that my sister is always on missions. It's why they always have to save the world. It's why we can't have fun together. They can't come back home until they beat up the bad people." Suki raised her hand and summoned her Keyblade. "So, I have to beat you up, too!"

"Hm… That's positively adorable." Esdeath pushed Nagisa across the ice and drew her sword. "There's only one way to discipline a child!" (Play "Final Battle" from _Ni no Kuni_!)

 _Boss fight: Esdeath_

Esdeath conjured ice soldiers around Suki, closing in as the girl did a spin attack to slice them in half. Suki skied along an ice path, surfing around Esdeath and casting icicles that the general countered. Esdeath spawned giant icicles in Suki's path and caused her to fall, and she leapt to stab the child, but Suki blocked with her Keyblade and kicked ice from her foot to freeze Esdeath's feet to the ground. Suki dealt quick attacks to Esdeath, then slid away when the general escaped. Esdeath spawned one ice soldier, and another, then another, with Suki slicing them each time, but then Esdeath forced the ice beneath Suki to thrust her into the air, then had an ice soldier throw its sword up.

The sword only grazed Suki, and she used Ice-Make to make ice wings and stay midair. Esdeath rose on an ice platform in attempt to stab her, and when Suki flew away, Esdeath engaged pursuit on the moving platform. Suki surprised her by stopping and whacking Esdeath off her perch. She launched icicles that all stabbed the general, but Esdeath psychically grabbed them off and returned them to Suki. Suki batted them away, but did not expect an ice boulder to drop on her head.

Suki landed on the ground in a daze, but Esdeath conjured more ice boulders to bury her. Suki pushed the boulders off her and made some fly into Esdeath, who shattered them with the tip of her blade. Suki conjured a giant ice spatula and batted Esdeath away, so the general in turn created a larger sword that would destroy the spatula in one swing. Suki willed many ice shards lain about the ground to all fly at Esdeath like bullets, but she protected herself with a diamond-shaped ice shield. Suki skied toward and hit the shield with her Keyblade, breaking it after three hits, but Esdeath blew her back with ice jabs from below.

Esdeath conjured a Suki clone complete with a Keyblade. The clone flipped over and engaged Suki with equal speed. Suki channeled more chi to her Keyblade to crack the clone's ice and destroy it with enough attacks. Esdeath materialized an ice wall that touched the ceiling, kicking it forward as it fell over on Suki, who was able to break an opening and survive. Esdeath willed a rainstorm of ice rocks to rain above Suki, who used an Ice-Make Helmet to protect herself. Suki escaped from the rain and threw some of those chunks at Esdeath, followed by a quick ice blast to her face.

Suki flew up for more strikes at the general, to which Esdeath countered before sliding away. "I'm through playing games with you!" The symbol above her chest glowed, and in a second time itself was frozen. "I'll kill you the same way I killed your father." She marched up and positioned her sword at Suki's chest, smirking devilishly. "I wish I could use this power as frequently as DIO can use his, but even _I'm_ not immortal. Well, once is enough." And so, she impaled Suki's chest, then withdrew the sword.

"AAAAAAH!" Suki clasped her chest and dropped to her knees. "M…M…My heart…" Her chest began to freeze from the inside. "I-I-It's… so cold…"

"In a moment, your heart will become ice and shatter! You can try all you like, but I'll cut you before you get the chance. Prepare to join your father in Frozen Hell."

"AAAAA _AAAHH…"_ Suki's entire body became ice, and then she shattered. Her remains drifted like glittery snow.

"SUKI! !" Nagisa cried.

"Perfect." Esdeath sheathed her sword. "Now, where were we… Nagisa?" She approached the boy with a lust on her features.

"Nnnn!" He backed up in fright, but Morgiana's frozen body blocked his escape.

"So, you said you're a girl now? That's okay. I don't mind becoming a lesbian for you." Esdeath softly stroked his cheek, covering it with ice. "Notice how the touch of my hand gives you goosebumps? Well, imagine… if you felt the whole thing."

A finger tapped her shoulder. Esdeath glanced behind. "HUH?!" Suki was floating behind her with a vibrant smile, her body merged with the frosted mist. "You LITTLE-!" Esdeath drew her blade and CHOPPED Suki's head. Ice was between the gap. "IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Suki!" Nagisa exclaimed. "You're a… Logia!"

"I am?" She was baffled. "I guess it musta happened when Sis and I fought that ghost guy! Hey, Esdeath! You're looking a little pale…"

Indeed, the ice from Suki's Logia body spread along Esdeath's sword, and when she yanked it out, the blade snapped in two. Suki shook the blade out of her and willed all the ice to assimilate around her. Growing and growing, Esdeath gaped with utter disbelief when Suki became a giant, chubby snowgirl. Esdeath conjured more ice soldiers to climb and stab at Suki, but they were merely absorbed into her fluff.

 _"Snowy Suki BELLY SMASH!"_ The heavy heroine leapt and SMASHED Esdeath under her round, fluffy belly. Underneath it, she felt Esdeath's body crunch like a large ice cube. (End song.)

All the ice in the room dissolved, and the operatives were free. "Esdeath ES DEAD!" Suki cheered innocently.

"…I will do whatever she says, as long as she doesn't freeze me." Terry said fearfully.

"SUKIII!" Miyuki picked her sister up and whirled around. "You're a LOGIA! The youngest Logia in history!"

"I know, Sister-chan! But I still feel warm when I'm with you!"

"That's good, Suki!" They shared a hug.

"Phew… all's well that ends well." Nagisa sighed. "At least in this case."

"Aww, you and Esdeath would've made a great couple." Goombella winked.

"Ew, don't even say that."

"I agree." Morg replied.

"Anyway, thanks, Suki. I don't think we would've beat her without you. If we need you again, we'll call!" Nagisa affirmed.

"Got ya!" George nodded. "Let's get back to finding English." So, the teams split up, once again taking their own routes.


	35. The Final Countdown, Part 2

**CRAP, I forgot Gonbe was a Heartless! ! …Eh, who cares.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-35: The Final Countdown, Part 2_**

 **Casino Castle**

"Grrrr!" Bill's hair was a mess with how much he had been tugging. "Those brats shouldn't have lasted 10 seconds in this castle… it's the most impregnable fortress in the universe! His Lordship demanded it be this huge! Did you KNOW this would happen?!" He faced the unmoving English with anger and stomped over to him. "Is this why your plans have failed?" Bill floated up to stare into His Lordship's flashing eyes. "Because your stupid ass can't move?!"

 **"Ca…Ca…Calli…"**

"…No…No, of course… I'm the one who did all the thinking for you. Because I was separated from your mind, your All-Seeing Eye became faulty. Is that why, Lord English? Did you need me that bad?" Tears fell from Bill's eyes.

 **"Cal…li…"**

"Lord English… is she the only one you can think about? Did I…Did I matter to you at all?"

 **Deeper in the castle**

 _Three years ago, the four of us were nothing more than rookie operatives struggling to gain respect from our peers. Now we were in the castle of the most powerful being in the universe. It would be the hardest mission we would ever face. The four of us alone will be inspirations to cadets everywhere, and-_

"Nagisa, save the monologue for later!" Index shouted. "We almost got our butts frozen by that Esdeath lady, we aren't going to inspire anybody like that."

"I know, I'm just excited! Let's not stop now, team! Lord English is only a few chapters away!" (Resume "Castle Bleck" from _Super Paper Mario_!)

 _Act 3_

Sector SA entered a hallway with multiple Bill Cipher vases on pedestals. Some of those vases poofed into Shy Ninjas and tossed shurikens at them, the others dodging while Nagisa used Iron Body. Morgiana flew to the Shy Guys with rocket-like feet and stomped them into submission. The hall's exit was too high to reach, but with Nagisa using Moon Walk and Morg using Rocket Jump, they could carry their friends and reach the exit, but had to dodge the Ninja Guys throwing shurikens from the side.

In the next hall, they were behind a short wall. The minute Morgiana peeked over it, a wall of kunai knives flew from up ahead, the Fanalis ducking. "How can we get through here?"

"Let me see." Index peeked over. She ducked when kunai came, but observed that each set had a pattern with open gaps in certain areas. "There's a repeating pattern. I'll show you where to jump." They let Index have the lead, for her Perfect Memory memorized all the safe gaps within the kunai walls. The kunai were coming from holes in the ending wall, but they turned left from there and exited to outside. A twin Bombshell Banzai cannon blasted them from across the chasm, but Nagisa and Morg, the keen jumpers, bounced over the giant golden projectiles and reached a midair walkway.

A giant robot dog crashed onto the walkway, and it looked like a twin of the Dao Dog boss from Starship Vorselon. This Dao Dog was gray and had the Shinra Power Company logo. Nagisa used Tempest Kick to slightly cut the Machine-Made down the middle, then Morgiana leapt up for some strong kicks to the head until the robot was down and out. The path ended and continued in the form of a tightrope, in which parts of the rope would dissolve into matter and then reform. They took heed of this while making their way across the rope, which would end at a platform whilst another rope followed.

Li'l Sparkies traveled along one rope and they had to jump to avoid Shockwave Thwomps on others, but the segment finally ended on a safe platform. "Man, all these clocks are giving me a headache!" Index shouted, as the castle was constantly ringing with clocks ticking in a dramatic rhythm. "I'm never gonna get this music out of my head…"

A green hot-air balloon was available, and it carried them over to a series of platforms held up by balloons. Machine-Made Lokis attacked them with scepters, but the team had to be careful in fighting them as they could cut the balloon strings and make the platforms plummet. Morgiana used kicks and Goombella used headbonks as they worked to knock the Loki copies off. The platforms led toward a clock tower, but the ticking clock hand was actually a cannon. They climbed in, and since the cannon ticked on each hour, they had 12 different directions to shoot.

They chose to fire at 11:00, for this would fire them up to a zipline sloping down to a new area. Nagisa used Tempest Kick to destroy the Phantom Embers on the platform, but now their only lead was two giant candles. The left candle tip drooped right while the right one drooped left. Since Nagisa already destroyed the Embers, Morgiana used the heat of her Red-Foot to light the left candle. It instantly sprung her to a far, right platform that had its own candles. What this was was a spring-candle maze, however the science behind it worked. Morg ignited and tested all of them until she eventually found a path that worked. Index helped them memorize this path, so the others were quick to join.

They landed on a small platform with stairs leading down to a battlefield. Stationed in the center, his back facing them, was the silver-haired man with one wing. "Hey, who's that over there?" Index whispered.

"Sephiroth." Nagisa remembered. "It looks like he hasn't noticed us. Let's see if we can get the jump on him."

"I wouldn't do that." Sephiroth whipped around, the tip of his long sword touching Nagisa's nose.

"Uh, hehe… I was joking?"

"…Hm… Let me ask you something, Blue-Haired One… what is your gender?"

". . ." Nagisa felt dead inside. "Uh… I'm a boy, Sir."

"Really? Your chest is somewhat plump."

His soul was crushed. "NOOOOoooo…" He sat down crying.

"Grr! Let us pass!" Morgiana demanded. "We need to defeat Lord English soon, or we'll all be destroyed! That includes you…"

"I doubt that." Sephiroth smirked. "Besides… I don't recall you being mentioned in this prophecy."

Nagisa regained a serious composure and stood up. "So, what? We're Kids Next Door operatives, too. Saving the universe is as much our responsibility as the Seven Lights."

"Really? So, you think you're ready to battle someone as powerful as Lord English?"

"Sure we are." (Play Sephiroth's Theme from _Kingdom Hearts II_!)

"Then you should have no problem defeating _me_ first…"

 _Boss fight: Sephiroth_

Sephiroth readied his sword—Morgiana kicked Goombella and Index away, then immediately jumped in the second it took Sephiroth to zip over and slice, and Nagisa kept safe with Iron Body. He used Shave to dodge behind the angel, then Paper Art to evade the following sword swings. Morgiana let loose a flurry of kicks from behind, ending with one that knocked Sephiroth away. He flew over to slice away at her, but Nagisa had jumped in the way, used Iron Body, and let Morgiana hold him like a shield. "That's an odd way to fight."

"You mean teamwork? We use it all the time." Nagisa replied.

Sephiroth's next attempts to cut through Nagisa failed, and afterwards, Morgiana used Nagisa as a post to whip around and kick Sephiroth in the face. The One-Winged Angel ran in a circle around them, materializing Dark Spheres that Morg kicked away. Sephiroth then approached, Morgiana hid behind Nagisa, the angel sliced, and the second he was open was when Morg kicked Nagisa into him, briefly stunning him as Morg leaped overhead for a head stomp, followed by Nagisa cutting him with the Antikill rubber knife, then Morg kicking him off.

"This is the substance you used on Giovanni…" Sephiroth observed, wiping it off his chest.

"It's supposed to sting you unconscious." Nagisa clarified. "But I guess you're a little too strong for that."

"Indeed. That's why I'm not wasting another second with you." Sephiroth teleported over the edge and flew several feet high. "Descend Heartless Angel…"

As he glowed a pink aura, Morgiana was not willing to let him finish, so she squat her legs and kicked toward him like a rocket, ramming the angel headfirst. His attack was cancelled, but Morg took the fall. She used consecutive Rocket Kicks to make her way back to the tower, but during this time, Nagisa had to dodge Sephiroth's sword with Paper Art, use Moon Walk to evade the Dark Spheres, and resume Paper Art during midair sword strikes. Morgiana returned and quickly rejoined Nagisa.

"Perish now." Sephiroth erupted numerous spires of fire around him, drawing the kids in like a vacuum.

"Morg!"

"Right!" She grabbed his arms and spun around.

"DUCK!" Index yelped.

With Morg whirling and Nagisa extended, the boy used a 360° Tempest Kick, landing a direct hit on the angel. Sephiroth performed another flurry of teleporting sword-strikes, with Nagisa remaining in Iron Body and serving as Morg's shield. Morgiana kicked him whenever there was an opening, and when Sephiroth stabbed, she leapt onto his blade for another successful kick to the head. Sephiroth flew over the edge again and summoned a herd of meteors to rain unto his foes. Morgiana stomped the ground to kick on her Red-Foot Fury, igniting her feet so she could kick the small meteors back at him.

Sephiroth fell, but immediately teleported behind Nagisa, who failed to use Iron Body in time, but Morg acted faster and blocked Sephiroth's downward swing with her burning leg. Both forces pushed against the other, and Morg grunted when the blade cut her leg slightly. To prevent the wound from increasing, Nagisa Shaved behind Sephiroth and stabbed his neck with a Finger Pistol, which did minimal damage, and Nagisa instantly jumped as he sensed Sephiroth was going to swing back.

Sephiroth warped to the center and called down more meteors, larger ones. They landed scattered around the field and began to whirl around in different directions. Morgiana ran up and tried to kick Sephiroth, but a blue aura made him invincible during this attack. All they could do was avoid the meteors, but Morg had a harder time with her wounded leg. Nagisa hugged his friend and used Shaves to help them both dodge the meteors. Sephiroth was charging a large energy ball above him during this time, and the attack concluded when he tossed it.

Nagisa and Morg dodged it by an inch, but they watched with worry as Sephiroth warped sky-high for his fatal attack. "Descend Heartless-"

"HOMP!" Index bit him in the wing.

"AGH! Where did you come from?!"

 _"I grabbed your leg when you warped!"_ Index channeled Light Chi to her teeth, weakening the angel's wing as he fell. Nagisa smirked and grabbed onto Morg as they both used Rocket Kick and Moon Walk to gain some air, followed by Shave to get above Sephiroth. Nagisa and Morgiana locked their legs together and spun, mixing flames and wind.

 _"Tempest FLAME!"_ They drilled downward, and Index dropped away from Sephiroth, as the two partners STAMPED the angel into the ground with the force of their combined strength. (End song.)

"Eat this, Morg!" Goombella took out a Life Shroom. "This'll heal your leg."

Morgiana picked up the mushroom and ate it. The cut disappeared, only leaving the dripped blood. "Thank you."

 _Morgiana always defended me when enemies came. I always felt weak because she was all the strength I had. So, I'm glad I get to fight beside her, and defend her, too._

"You're so corny, Nagisa." Index smirked.

"Gip!" He blushed. "Well, uh… at least we beat him!"

"Not quite." They jumped back to attention when Sephiroth stood, brushing the dust off. "Well… you two are very strong. But I must say I'm disappointed. I expected a one-on-one fight, but it seems you do not do so well individually."

"Well, no one can do everything by their selves." Nagisa said. "But I wasn't gonna keep hiding behind Morg my whole life. It's more fun to fight alongside people instead of alone. It's how we beat all of our foes… and it's how we'll beat Lord English."

"I see. Then you better get going." Sephiroth willed a dark portal to open. "That will take you further in the castle."

Index approached the portal and poked her head in. "Well, it looks like it does. But… why?"

"Only a certain man can defeat me. You kids would be wasting your time." Sephiroth turned away. "The sooner you defeat English… the sooner I can see him again."

"…Okay. Thanks for the help, I guess. Let's go, team." Nagisa entered the portal first. Morgiana, Goombella, and Index followed suit.

 **With Sector W**

Anthony pushed a spiked Whomp onto its back, then leapt on its face and squashed it into pieces, while Fybi shot down a Twilakitu. "After the Darknesses, you all are wimps! Let's keep going, team!"

"Aye!" Fybi stayed above while Anthony remained ground-level. …They felt something was missing and looked back. Aranea and Sally were leaning on a wall. "…Aren't you comin'?" Anthony asked.

Aranea glanced at him. "Anthony, Fybi… do you even _need_ me or Sally, anymore?"

"What?"

"Admit it. We haven't done anything since we got to the First Dimension. We're useless in places like this."

"Oh. …Well, um…" Anthony scratched his head.

"I truthfully doth not know what to say." Fybi said honestly.

"Ugh." Nea sighed. "Let's just go."

"Uh… okay." Anthony shrugged, going ahead with Fybi.

Harvey put a hand on Nea's shoulder and said, "If it makes you feel better, I feel like my role as Firstborn Guardian is about to be extinguished. With Azelf, Mesprit, and Uxie becoming one Firstborn and all."

"Heh… thanks." Nea smiled weakly. (Resume "Castle Bleck"!)

 _Act 4_

This hall was guarded by giant black Whomps with spiked backs. They were as easy to trick as normal Whomps, waiting for it to fall on its front as Anthony kicked up and broke it to pieces. The journey took them uphill with large, spiked Rhomps made of Permanite. Anthony used bending to hold the first one back, but couldn't break it without direct contact, and the other Rhomps were adding pressure. True, there was a hole at the base of the hill to prevent the Rhomps from coming closer, but the problem was getting up.

Nea noticed the torches lining the wall up the slope. "Sally, get up there and look for a switch!"

"Mm-hm!" Sally used her yo-yo to swing up the torches, passing the Rhomps' spawning point and landing on the foothold. "Hey, there is a-!"

"Switch!" Fybi pushed it. The Rhomps' ceiling hole sealed, so Anthony let them drop in the floor hole.

"I… was going to hit it." Sally said.

"Oh. Apologies."

The others could march up the slope and enter a dining room with three tables. There were people eating spirit balls with forks and knives. "Some guys have weird diets." Anthony said.

The people looked at them, smirked, and eyes glowed green. The humans became Akuma, the kids evasively dodging their lasers. Fortunately, Fybi's B.O.W. was implanted with Innocence like everyone else's 4x4, so she could shoot them down like average robots. There was no way out of the room except the window, but outside was merely a thin ledge with a far drop. The kids were careful in sidling along this ledge, and Fybi had to shoot down Missile Bills.

Some ledges either moved or went in and out, but the heroes made it to a new passage. Anthony went first and felt the posh floor become rock. He gasped—the floor pushed him up into the ceiling, so he pushed up against the ceiling to press a hole into the stone trap. From inside, he broke the stone apart. There were more stone traps down the way, so Anthony took the liberty of smashing them all. At the end, a Shy Guy appeared to be jumping around switches, wondering why the traps weren't activating. Aranea jumped up and knocked the Shy Guy out. "Woo. I'm useful."

"Don't be a baby." Anthony remarked. The next room was impeccably tall and cylindrical, with a Drop Tower extending all the way up. A large stone ring wrapped around the tower, so earthbending was the only way. Their friends got on while Anthony and Diancie stayed below, but Sally and Harvey wrapped their yo-yos around them. The earthbenders lifted the stone up and punched it up some, and then a second time. The siblings charged even greater force and punched with all their might, sending the ring rocketing to the top, and they were also yanked up via the yo-yos.

The ring stopped level with a path, so the kids had a second to jump off before the ring dropped again, pulling the earthbenders to safety. They entered a wide corridor with a dark chasm, and the only path across was completely taken up by a Lhomp, an extremely long Thwomp. Anthony and Diancie could do nothing to stop it because Akuma were constantly trying to shoot them, and they kept coming no matter how much Fybi shot them off. Fybi glanced at the Lhomp's path and stated, "There art small gaps where his base dost not reach!"

"Time to be useful, Nea!" Anthony slapped her back.

"WHAT?! You want me to go under that thing?!"

"You're the only one small and skinny enough! Come on, take one for the team!"

"If I die, I'll haunt you forever." So, Nea waited for her chance, and when the Lhomp leapt, she quickly crawled under and into a safe spot. The Lhomp barely touched her back—if she were an inch thicker, blood would squirt out. Very carefully, she moved from gap to gap; truly the most dangerous mission of her career. One of these gaps had a switch, and when she pressed it, the whole path tilted right and down slid the Lhomp. She slid off as well, but grabbed the edge as the path repositioned itself.

The others could come across and reach the door to the next room. Inside was no one but a chubby, gray-skinned fellow with a large grin and top-hat. "Well, well… it seems a couple of rats have snuck into the castle." said the Millennium Earl. "And judging by how you've been destroying my Akuma, I assume you're using Innocence in your weapon."

Fybi locked her B.O.W. on the man. "So, thou art the creator of yonder robots. Thou art one of Lord English's Backup Army."

"Heh heh, that's right. You know, His Lordship has a problem with spirits and ghosts. But I can keep spirits under control by turning them into Akuma."

"So, thou trappest souls for a living. Such an ungodly profession."

"Like God ever has any say in any universe. Otherwise, He wouldn't let people like me or Lord English run around. I don't know what it's like where you children are from, but in my world, the good guys don't win. But it sure is fun to watch them struggle!"

Fybi loosed an arrow, which the Earl whacked away with his umbrella. "The victory will not always be thine, and it shalt not be hither! I wouldst be honored to show thee the Kids Next Door's strength!"

"Heh heh hah! Sounds like fun! Very well, girl, I'll test your willpower! Don't make it too easy for me!" (Play "Militant Missionary" from _Sonic Adventure_!)

 _Boss fight: Millennium Earl_

"Eat up, my Akuma!" The Earl summoned five Level 1 Akuma that shot lasers, Fybi dodging and shooting each one in the head. The Earl twirled around the room and conjured a dark cloud on the ceiling, raining black stars. Fybi quickly dodged them, sensing a poisonous air from the stars. During this, Fybi blasted rapid Innocence Arrows, steadily dwindling the Earl's health, but he did not seem phased at all. The Earl conjured giant green-lit jack-o-lanterns that spat emerald flames, but Fybi blew them away and sliced one of the pumpkins with her Keyblade. With the Earl exposed, she spun wind around her blade and made lightning sparkle, striking the Earl with shocking slices.

"My, that actually hurt a bit! Did you put Innocence in that weapon, too?"

"Nay, only my B.O.W.. Regardless, I believeth I hath the advantage. We were told that those not from our world art weaker, whilst Keyblade-wielders remain immune to the rule. Thou do not possess a Keyblade, and thou art in my home dimension. In other words, we Kids Next Door art the rulers of this world!" Fybi clashed her Keyblade with his umbrella, then Earl flew away to shoot explosive dark balls.

Fybi used an Air Shield to protect herself from the flames, but that's when a Level 2 Akuma attempted to slice through it. Fybi barely dodged as her shirt was cut, and she used a charged arrow to destroy the Akuma. She did the same with two more, and that's when two arms reached out of a portal and pulled her in by the ankles. Fybi was in a bright blue sky dimension, and two white force-fields appeared on either side. In the distance, the Earl danced, and the walls began to close in.

Fybi flew with high speed, dodging the Earl's blasts up and down. The walls were getting closer, so Fybi flew vertically, and the walls barely scraped her front and back by the time she was out of the exit portal. The Earl was open, so she didn't hesitate to deal a Keyblade whipping. The Earl's grin opened as a venomous tongue popped out, licking Fybi in the face. She was robbed of her senses, so she plopped on the ground. "Michelle, protect her!" Anthony ordered.

"You got it, Brother!" Diancie formed a diamond shield around Fybi.

"Oh, that won't do any good! My Dark Venom can stun people for an entire hour. Speaking of which, I should get rid of the rest of you." He conjured another dark cloud and rained black stars upon the Sector W team, and when they were struck, dark stars began to appear on their skin. "The Akuma virus will reduce your bodies to dust! Farewell, Kids Next Door!"

"This is Sector W, we need Haruka to come to us now!" Anthony shouted in his wristwatch.

 _"This is Haruka, I'll come through the Vanishing Box!"_

Anthony set their box down and opened it, and out came Haruka. "What the-?!" She noticed their stars.

"Hurry!" Sally yelled.

"What do you think you're doing?" Earl questioned. "Nothing can stop my Akuma Virus… eh?!"

Haruka injected the members with a syringe of golden liquid, and the stars disappeared. "Whatever this poison is, it looks like Dark Chi. A little liquid light will nullify it!" She then did so to Fybi. "Feel better?"

The angel got back on her feet. "Verily!" She was quick to begin whacking the Earl again.

"But nothing in my world can cure my virus!" There was a slight frown to his grin. "Let alone that yellow stew you call 'light'!"

"Then I guess we're ahead of your time!" Haruka winked.

The Earl conjured Dark Spheres in the air and hurled them at Fybi, the angel dodging and clashing against his umbrella. Fybi flew above him and cast lightning, but Earl vanished in a portal and reappeared above her for a Ground Pound. He flew up and conjured more Dark Spheres, but Fybi blew a forceful breath to send them back. Earl easily dodged them, and created more jack-o-lanterns to fly down and gnash at Fybi. She dodged up and shot Innocence Arrows to destroy the pumpkins.

"I do not have time to waste with this fool. Mayhaps I shalt play with him some!" Fybi spun around and stirred the air in the room. As air spiraled everywhere, there were mixes of hot and cold.

The Earl spotted Fybi and shot his Dark Sphere, but she dispersed into air and was caught in the wind. "Huh?" He looked around and saw Fybis everywhere. "So, you're creating mirages? Well, not for long!" The Earl spun his umbrella and fired Dark Spheres in multiple directions. "My Dark Matter will hit you eventually!"

"Art thou certain?!"

"Eh?!" The Earl looked up, seeing Fybi in the center of a whirlwind of Dark Spheres.

"Eateth this!" Fybi directed the wind down to the Earl and had them all CRASH dead on. The Earl seemed to have been weakened by the attack, but he did not recover in time as Fybi was charging a giant Innocence Arrow. "Angel's Divine GIANT ARROW!" And Fybi loosed, smothering the Earl's face in green light. It seemed as if his head was blown into pieces. (End song.)

"Hm hm hm!" Fybi set foot on the floor. "I hopeth that hast not weakened my B.O.W.'s durability. 'Twas worth to do away with him."

"Aww, my suit…" Fybi gasped: the Millennium Earl stood from where he lay, and his suit slid off. "I just had it washed…"

The kids were dumbfounded. He was just an ordinary human with yellow hair. "Is that what he looks like?" Anthony asked.

"I needed a face that was appealing to the kids."

"That was anything but appealing!"

"Oh, well. I guess I'll need to make you pay for-"

Haruka injected her Light Syringe into the Earl's neck from behind. "So, if this is your real body, how would that affect you?"

"Cough! This toxin… impossible! Cough!" The Earl dropped to his knees. "How could this have any effect on me… it is merely light!"

"Yea." Fybi said. "But thine powers would be equivalent to a darknessbender in our world. Thou art bound to the rules of our universe, and therefore thou art weak against light. …'Tis what Calliope's knowledge speaks, of course."

"COUGH!" The Earl lied down. "I'm so weak… I need… sleep…"

"What a wuss." Anthony scoffed. "Let's pummel him into dirt so he doesn't bother us, anymore!"

"No!" A little stuffed doll popped out of Earl's coat. "Leave him alone!" it spoke with a girl's voice.

"Whuh? A doll?" Harvey cocked a brow.

"Lord Millennium doesn't want to work for Lord English! He was just doing it, so that The Thirteen wouldn't destroy his Akuma! Better step away or I'll kill you!"

"Awwww! What an adorable dolly!" Diancie beamed.

"Siiigh. Let us leave." Fybi smiled. "We art done hither. We must save our aggression for His Lordship."

"Good idea. Let's go." Anthony agreed. So with that, the friends left the Earl behind, and Haruka jumped back into the Vanishing Box.

* * *

 **A little trivia, the music for this level sounds like clocks ticking. Hence why this is the "Final Countdown" Arc! ^_^**


	36. The Final Countdown, Part 3

**Welcome back!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-36: The Final Countdown, Part 3_**

 **Somewhere in the Ruined Space**

While all the endless action transpired at the castle, one particular trio was going elsewhere. The Gilligan Triplets landed their C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. on a massive asteroid that may have used to be a planet. "Why don't they just tell us we're useless?" Harry asked glumly.

"Get over it." Artie replied. "We wouldn't last two seconds against any of those guys. Besides, we'll rejoin them soon enough."

"Calliope said it wasn't far." Haylee said. "Aha! There!"

A few miles ahead was a farmland of alien crops. A bearded man with a messy pompadour was raking the soil. He heard footsteps behind him and turned around. "Oh, it's some kids. …Wait…" He recognized them.

"No… way…" Haylee was gaping. "DANDY?!"

"Hey, you're that girl I lent the _Aloha_ to! Helly!"

"IT'S HAYLEE! !" She glomped the man with joy on her features.

"Heheheh! Man, just when I thought the Apocalypse had nothing else to offer!"

"What's going on, Dandy?" Another farmer asked from a table. He was muscular and wore a filthy green jumpsuit. "You interrupted my story!"

"OH, GOODY! Some visitors!" Don Gero hopped from his seat at the table. They were seated around a round couch, borrowed from the _Aloha Oe_. "Please rescue me! This Copernicus fellow's stories are longer than Gamamaru's!"

"It's him!" Artie pointed. "Don Gero!"

"Dandy, what are you all doing out here?" asked Haylee. "I heard that you weren't on any planets when the Apocalypse hit; I thought you were DEAD!"

"I could say the same about you. I don't remember much of what happened… but about 10 days before it all went down, I visited this disco club in space and found a guy who calls himself a superhero."

"I'm sure you might've heard of the extravagant Captain Qwark!" the man grinned and pointed at himself. "I had lost sight of my good friend, Ratchet and these kids we were escorting to safety when the EVIL Dr. Nefarious knocked me out with a baseball bat—I mean, super complex Kung-Fu moves after a long and endearing battle. When I came to, I realized I had no money to pay for a cab and got a job at the Electrodrome. (The disco beats still haunt my brain.)"

"So, I picked him up and we decided to visit this pretty music planet." Dandy continued. "There, we found this old frog that said he could travel the Dream World and thought he would fetch a high price! But before we could get to the registration office, the universe kinda exploded. I'm guessing we only survived thanks to my Devil Fruit."

It was then Haylee thought back to her conversation with Dandy: _"Why, even if the_ Apocalypse _were to happen right now, you can bet I could avoid it with nary a scratch."_

"MAN, this series has awesome foreshadowing!" Haylee shouted.

"What?"

"Nothing. Listen, Dandy, we're going to need to borrow Don Gero. It's for an important job."

"Sure, kid. Do whatever."

"But my story…" frowned Qwark.

"Be quiet. You're lucky you weren't even erased."

 **Casino Castle**

It has been two days since the assault on the castle commenced. The halls seemed to stretch on and on, no matter which route the operatives took or what convenient puzzles that matched their powers stood in their way. The team of Wendy, Sugar, and Charle were having a sit rest in a hall. The former was using her magic to fix some colorful, soft see-through slippers over Sugar's feet. "There. Those should help you move around better."

"Thanks, Wendy. Hm hm, I guess going barefoot isn't for everybody." Sugar giggled. "Mine are just too soft. It's nice to have a comfy pair of shoes to dance in!"

"I agree. 'Course, I'm used to being on my feet. I've been running my whole childhood."

"Wendy…" Charle looked with sympathy.

And with that, she was back on her feet. "Well, we can't stop now! We've got a universe to save!"

Charle smiled. "Yes… we do!"

"Then it's time to bust out the 'Castle Bleck' theme again!" Meloetta sung.

"Can't we pick a different theme?"

"Nope! It's too catchy and end-of-the-world-y!" (You may resume the theme!)

 _Act 5: The Dance Floor_

The girls raced through a hallway of Limbo Shy Guys, swiftly dodging their sticks by either jumping or sliding. They began to hear a catchy disco remix of the stage theme that existed nowhere on the Internet. The girls burst through the door to a disco room, where Billiard Boys, Shy Guys, and ladies in thick, fat coats were boogying on a tiled neon floor. "It's much too early for these lugs to be celebrating!" Charle shouted.

"It's NEVER too late or too early to DANCE!" danced Meloetta.

As they continued running, they passed through a blue gate, stretching out a path of blue tiles between red ones. Sugar stepped on a red tile and was electrocuted, so they stayed on the blue ones, sidestepping as the path did several zigzags. They hit a purple gate and were forced to stay along the purple tiles as the other ones had sunk far down. At the end, they passed through a yellow gate and landed on said tiled platform, facing a series of spinning platforms. Some had a straight yellow path, others had a single spot, and some's yellow tiles kept switching spots, so crossing the rotating footholds was tricky and painful.

They were free to stand on all tiles again after passing the segment. Two coated women blocked their path, dancing to the beat and pushing the group back with belly bounces. Sugar and Wendy mimicked their movements and dodged their attacks, waiting for the right openings to kick them in the heads until they fell.

Their next road took place over five rows of floating blocks, but only one color was solid at a time. _Beep! Beep! Beep! BOOP!_ That color would flash on the ceiling for a few seconds before that path became solid, so the girls would know which path to jump toward before the switch. Further up, different blocks began to merge into each other's road, requiring some quick jumps, and when Wendy slipped and fell, Charle saved her daughter.

Some Dash Panels redirected them on a left turn, and this next set of block paths changed every second. Starting from the left, they sidestepped to the center, then right again, then left center, then very left, and repeated the process until they were at the end. They could rest on a safe platform, but before them was a wide, rotating tunnel of blinky tiles. A disco ball hovered in the center of the tunnel and shone spot lights around the tunnel. Those spotlights were safe to run in, but they not only prevented them from being electrocuted, but gravity was altered in those spots.

They were past the tunnel, but the trial still continued on a more narrow rotating path, the girls keeping within the spotlights. The path came to its end, but there was nowhere to go beyond besides taking the great fall. They descended into a spinning, neon vortex, one that would surely blind them. "Ergh… I can't see a thing!" Wendy squinted her eyes.

"Cast a Sunshade Charm, Child!" Charle stated.

"Oh, right!" Wendy used magic to cast a dim shade over their eyes, giving them protection like sunglasses. Through the neon lights, they could avoid the electrified tiles and eventually hit the bottom. On one last tiled path, a fat coated woman tried to push them off, and the tiles behind them beeped off one at a time. Sugar and Wendy combined Song Beam and Sky Dragon's Roar to take her down before they dashed into a door of light.

"What's with all this light?" Wendy asked.

"It seems to be coming from there!" Charle pointed.

They saw a humanoid figure in a tub. She was a woman with rainbow hair, and her dazzling naked form was the source of the bright light. She climbed out and grabbed a white robe from a hangar. When she slipped it on, the light dimmed. "Oh, my. How can you three live with such shabby outfits?"

"What are you?" Charle asked. "Lord English's tailor?"

"My name is Ragyō Kiryūin. I am the voice of the Life Fibers, the force from which all clothing originates from. And you must be part of those 'Kids Next Door' Bill is so concerned about. You should know that Lord English is beyond invincible now. I have crafted for him a suit made of my most powerful Life Fibers! Why, if you could simply GAZE at him, your very eyes would burn out of existence!"

"So, you ARE his tailor!" Sugar proclaimed.

"Were you even listening?!"

"We don't care how powerful he is!" Wendy said determinedly. "Nothing's gonna stop us from beating him! Right, team?"

"HER HAIR IS SO PRETTY!" Meloetta beamed. "Sugar, call Sector W7, Aeincha has to come see her hair!"

"Was anyone listening to me?…"

"Yes, I know I'm beautiful." Ragyō smirked. "And you can agree that my clothing helps my look. But the truth is, clothing is a sin. No matter how beautiful we look on the outside, we are rotten to the core on the ins-"

"Here she is!" Sugar pulled Aeincha out of the Vanishing Box.

"WOOOOW!" Her eyes were stars. "Her hair is so shiny and pretty!"

"I know!" So were Meloetta's. "I don't think I've ever seen hair that beautiful!"

"YOUR hair is the exact same!" Charle shouted.

"Ugh." Ragyō sighed. "Why am I wasting my breath? I should just destroy you and be done." She mended giant arrows out of red fibers and launched them at the group, but Wendy used the Sky Dragon's Claw to slice them.

"Ma'am, I would like to ask you to _please_ stand down and let us pass. You've made the wrong choice to serve Lord English, but if we destroy him, you'll be able to go back to your world."

"Simple single-colored girl… All I care about is spreading my Life Fibers across the universe. But you poorly-dressed girls will make excellent sustenance. And SHE will make sure of that!"

At that instant, Meloetta blasted them all with a sonic wave. "Meloetta!" Sugar shouted. "What are you doing?!"

"During our talk, my Micro Fibers have infiltrated her brain." Ragyō spoke as Meloetta possessed a dull look in her eyes. "Such lovely hair… I couldn't let it go to waste. Now, my dear… teach these brats some manners!"

"Leave Meloetta to me!" Sugar said. "You two do something about that woman!"

"Got it! Let's take her down, Mom!"

"I'm right behind you, Wendy!" (Play "Vs. Yin-Yarn" from _Kirby's Epic Yarn_!)

 _Boss fight: Ragyō Kiryūin_

Ragyō mended Covers and sent them to force their selves over Wendy, but she cast sapphire flames to burn the fibers. Wendy spun a whirlwind and used Engorgio to make it tornado-sized, but Ragyō used more Life Fibers to encircle the tornado and turn it against her. Ragyō willed it to spin the opposite way and whip out the fibers rapidly, scratching the girls' skin. She followed up by sewing giant fists, Wendy dodging as they punched with quickness, and when there was an opening, she ran at Ragyō and used Sky Dragon's Claw to SLASH the seamstress, followed by a kick and then a Cyclone Roar to blast her against the wall.

Ragyō climbed out and knitted a block around her body, sewing a spiked spring at the bottom of it as it bounced around in attempt to squash the mage. Wendy was still dodging proficiently, but none of her spells were able to penetrate. "Wendy!" Charle swooped in and lifted her up before Ragyō almost smashed her.

"Thanks, Mom! Look, the top part looks weak! Give me a good spin, will ya?!"

"You got it!" Charle spun rapidly as Wendy channeled Air Chi and Haki to her leg. With great momentum, Wendy's leg SMASHED into the top of the block and broke the fibers.

"HA HA!" Ragyō ensnared Wendy with the fibers, to which Charle was quick to cut her daughter free with her sharp high-heels. Ragyō stretched her fingers and pinned them both to the wall, dragging them all around the walls before slamming them on the floor. Ragyō knitted spikes around the ceiling and dropped them, but Wendy conjured a large, square barrier to protect all her friends. Wendy willed that barrier to wrap around the fibers, then slammed it into Ragyō for massive damage.

The woman was broken in several areas, but the Life Fibers reattached them, erasing any sort of damage inflicted upon her. Wendy bravely raced over, dodging fiber arrows and using Haki-imbued claw attacks to injure the witch. "As long as the Life Fibers protect me, I will be immortal! You can do NOTHING to me!" Ragyō mended short fiber swordsmen that attacked Wendy with combos. Charle swooped in to slash the swordsmen into pieces and fly her daughter away. Wendy used a Healing Charm on herself, then Charle performed aerial maneuvers to dodge fiber-made bladed boomerangs.

"Wendy, how do you suppose we defeat this woman? If she keeps reknitting herself…"

"Don't worry, Mom. I'm sure we'll find a weak spot soon." Wendy dropped to the floor and cast Ventus Glacius to freeze Ragyō's giant boomerangs, followed by Ventus Incendio to melt them. "In fact…" Wendy dodged her way to Ragyō once more, and when Life Fibers sprouted from the floor and grabbed her legs, Charle swooped up to cut them in an instant, barely slowing Wendy at all. "Sky Dragon's Iron CLAW! !" Wendy leapt above the seamstress and SLICED off her rainbow hair in one blow. Ragyō was left completely bald.

"Ha ha ha!" She was completely unfazed. "Oh, so you've cut my hair, boo-hoo. I'll simply grow it back more beautiful than ever, and use it to kill you!"

Wendy simply watched as Ragyō's head seemed to pump. "…?" She frowned. "It should've grown by now… Why haven't the Life Fibers-"

April Goldenweek burst out of Ragyō's body, yet instead of blood, out came scattered Life Fibers. Ragyō's expression remained aghast as she collapsed like a torn old rag. (End song.)

"HOORAAAAAY!" Aeincha cheered from April's shoulder. "You did it, April!"

"Amazing!" Charle gaped. "Wendy, how on Earth did you two do this?"

"Uh… I don't know." Wendy was confused also.

"I snuck in when you broke her open with that bubble!" Aeincha explained. "Then I used my mini scissors to cut an image into her body. I called April and she used her Keyblade to travel the Art World and come out from that image."

"Afterwards, I sliced her heart with my Keyblade." April concluded.

"…Well, not how I expected to achieve victory, but impressive." Charle said.

"Huh?" Meloetta regained sense in her eyes. "What happened? Sorry, I dozed off for a second."

"Ha ha ha!" Sugar laughed. "You didn't miss anything important!"

Wendy walked up and picked up some Life Fibers in her hand before letting it drop. "You know, if Aeincha was able to sneak into her body so easily… I wonder if this woman felt any feelings at all."

"Probably not." Aeincha replied. "There was nothing inside her except fabric. …But it did smell pretty gross."

"Anyway, we should get back to our team." April said. "We'll see you guys down the road!"

"Yeah! Thanks for the help!" Wendy held the Vanishing Box open so the two could jump inside. The three girls and Firstborn resumed their venture in the castle.

 **With Team Vweeb**

"Hooooo wee!" Vweeb flexed his arms as he ran ahead of his teammates. "I've barely broken a sweat against these monsters! You know, Arianna, if you're tired, I would be happy to carry you."

"Why don't you join Sugar's group and carry her?" Arianna asked with furrowed eyes.

"Are you still hung up about that? She was weary and I was helping her bathe, it's called being a gentleman!"

"I'm beginning to understand why my people went to war with yours." Makava said.

"Hey, we're only human, Sis." Vweeb shrugged. "Er, metaphorically. …Who came up with that expression, anyway?"

"Can we hold off the discussion for later?" Tronta asked, annoyed. (Resume "Castle Bleck"!)

 _Act 6_

As if luck and coincidence was on their side, giant flora was growing in this hallway. When the floor ended at a chasm, the four walked along a large tree root on the left wall. Afterwards, they had to bounce across some floating Skiploom Pokémon, but when a large gap separated them and the foothold, Tronta threw his Light Discs out to serve as platforms. On this foothold, three Mega Jumpluffs (with giant dandelions over their little bodies) drifted down and rained dandelion spores that forced the aliens into sneezing fits. "Good thing my nose is too small for this!" Vweeb retorted as he used the spores to swing up and dive through the dandelions, using Kateeny strength to punch each Jumpluff into submission.

They were on a giant tree with nowhere to go, so Arianna used plantbending to make giant leaves grow around it. Unfortunately, a strange buzzsaw was traveling after them and cutting the leaves' stems, so they could spare no extra time on one leaf. The leaves rotated upward and led them to a hall with more overgrown flora. They wandered into a giant forest. "AAAH!" Vweeb screamed when Piranha Plants dropped and dangled from the treetops.

Makava nimbly dodged their teeth and beheaded each Piranha, then sliced the heads in half as they still rolled and bit. Deep within the forest, they were required to cross a chasm with floating hoops of different sizes. The only things wide enough to fit in those hoops were the Piranha Plant heads, which were also different sizes. Big ones, small ones, medium ones… unfortunately, by the time they figured this out, Makava had slaughtered most of the Piranhas. But there was a clock in the room, and when it chimed midnight, all the enemies grew back.

Makava decapitated the Piranhas they needed and chucked them into the proper hoops (facedown because teeth). The aliens hopped across and arrived at a pool. Makava held onto Vweeb and Arianna guided Tronta as they dove under. In this underwater tunnel, Bubble Plants provided them air, but they could each only breathe one before the clock struck 12am again and the bubbles turned poison. They held their breath for a whole minute's worth of second-long minutes, carefully avoiding the poison bubbles until they became pure again.

The tunnel redirected upwards, and Mega Seaking (two long spikes and golden bodies) swam at them in a fury. Makava and Tronta were the only ones who could combat them via their weapons. They were slowly nearing the spotted ceiling of the tunnel—it turned and revealed its massive mouth; they had been swimming to a giant Piranha Plant. It tried to slurp them in like a vacuum, so Arianna released Celebi from her Spirit Ball. "I'll take care of this!" Celebi used a great surge of Plant Chi to reduce the monster's size.

The aliens kept swimming to the top of the tunnel, ignoring the tiny seedling of a Piranha Plant. They resurfaced in a room with another giant tree that was glowing a purple light at the top.

 _"You will go NO FARTHER!"_ roared a voice so dark and foreboding that it rattled their bones. Their eyes were drawn up, seeing a being in purple mechanical armor with a green eye attached to several vines. _"You have done well to get this far. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Dark Oak, ruler of the Metarex! And what you see before you is my Forestation Project."_

"Forestation Project?" Arianna repeated.

"I'm feeling incredible Plant Chi from this room." Celebi said. "But there's darkness mixed with it…"

 _"Bill Cipher claimed Lord English would help me spread forestation to my universe, but when their guard is down, I shall absorb BOTH their life energy into my plants and USE their power for my own!"_

"I don't think that's going to go very well…" Vweeb replied honestly.

 _"Oh, I can assure you it will. Because now my most vital ingredient has finally arrived!"_

"BIII!" Celebi was captured in a glowing purple flower. Green chi flowed through the stem and filled the entire tree.

 _"Neah hahahahahahahahaha! I can feel it! Ultimate power courses through me! It is even greater than the combined might of the Chaos Emeralds! NOTHING CAN STOP ME!"_

"We'll see about that!" Arianna yelled with determination.

 _"Strange… your voice is familiar. It reminds me of hers… Perhaps when I am finished with your friends, I will see if there's a connection!"_ (Play "Andross Brain" from _Star Fox 64_!)

 _Boss fight: Dark Oak_

Dark Oak swooped down and slashed his sword at the group, which Makava countered with both of hers. As they fought, Vweeb jumped around Dark Oak's armor in attempt to find an opening. "WAH!" A vine whipped the little guy off, but as he fell in midair, he shot lasers at the armor. They bounced right off. "For a plant, he's got some pretty thick skin."

"Then perhaps we must cut him at the stem!" declared Ari. "Attack the tree!"

"Never thought I'd hear you say that, Sis!" Tronta yelled, throwing his bladed Light Discs at the trunk of the tree. The discs rotated and trimmed the bark off. Vweeb assisted him using Powuh Shots, and when Dark Oak tried to attack them, Arianna bent brambles up to restrain him. Makava ran up the brambles and slashed the Metarex's eye, but bore no fruit as Dark Oak shook them off and cut the brambles. Dark Oak flicked his wrist and made spikes pop out of the trunk and push Vweeb and Tron away.

Dark Oak trapped Ari and Makava in Venus flytraps and choked them for their health, but both girls were able to escape with struggling. Dark Oak summoned a swarm of Razor Leaves that left no safe place to stand, so the aliens used any means necessary to cut or shoot the leaves, enduring the pain from the leaves that slipped by. Tron and Vweeb went back to blasting the Dark Tree as Arianna stretched brambles to entangle Dark Oak again. "If I contribute more power, the brambles will be stronger, and they'll cut through!"

 _"You pathetic fools! Nothing can pierce my armor!"_ Dark Oak grabbed a bramble and yanked Arianna up to him. Sword drawn, he aimed for her waist, but Makava leapt up again and defended her. The Glomourian got atop him and sliced the vines he was hanging from, but more quickly grew to catch him again. The vines whirled Dark Oak around in a spherical fashion as airwaves lashed from his sword into multiple directions. They either dodged or defended, and afterwards Arianna grabbed Makava in vines and swung her at Dark Oak while her swords were extended.

The Dark Tree rained giant acorns around the room, exploding and slightly injuring the group. During their weakness, branches grew from the tree and smashed down at them. Makava saw one coming for her brother and leapt to slice it, and Arianna formed a bramble shield to defend herself. Vweeb used two Powuh Shots to cut off two separate branches, but one last branch swept the floor and knocked them away. Four more Venus flytraps stretched down and ensnared the team. Vweeb was trapped with Makava, but he blasted an opening for them to escape, only for Dark Oak to fly over and slash Makava.

Vweeb landed on Dark Oak and got on the back of his armored neck, the Metarex swinging back to cut him, without fearing of cutting his own impenetrable armor. Vweeb leapt on the sword and used Kateeny strength to knock it out of his hand, and after hitting the ground, he used a Powuh Shot to blast Dark Oak, but it merely bounced off his armor. "There's nothing that can injure him!"

 _"Mwahahahahaha! Now you finally realize, there is nothing that can stop the Metarex regime! We will be the ultimate force in the universe! We will control all life in existence! And we will control… What?!"_ An unseen force made him twitch. _"NNNGH! !"_ His armor compressed. _"AAAGH! What's happening?! NOOOOOO…!"_ Within seconds, the armor crumpled into a ball, and Dark Oak's body was crushed inside it. (End song.)

". . . ." Team Vweeb was both unimpressed and underwhelmed. "WOOHOOOO!" Emily Garley danced in the entrance to the room. "EMILY IS THE VICTOR! She is the inventor and robots are her tools!" Using metalbending, she made the ball of armor dance. "Dun-dun-dun-dun, HEY! Dun-dun-dun-dun, HEY!"

"Chill out, Emily." Sunni came behind her. "Don't get all cocky because that was the _one_ enemy you can kill in one hit."

"Celebi!" Mew flew up to the plant Celebi was trapped and ripped her free with psychic.

"Phew! Thank you, Mew!"

". . . ." Team Vweeb could not believe what was happening. Nebula came in next. "Oh, it's you. Everything all right so far?" she asked them.

"…Just peachy, Ma'am." Tronta answered.

"Good. Don't stop now. Lord English can't be far ahead." Her group continued onward, Emily still dancing silly.

"…We will never speak of this again." Tron said. They nodded in agreement. They kept walking while Dark Oak's crumbled body squirmed.

"All operatives, this is Nebula!" the Supreme Leader spoke into her communicator. "We've just defeated another one of the Backup Army!"

"NO, I DID IT! !" Emily shouted. "Emily Garley, one-hit KO, spread the word!"

 _"This is Wendy Marvell. We defeated a Backup Army officer, too!"_

 _"Excellent!"_ Calliope responded from hers. _"Nearly all of my brother's agents are down! I sUrmise we will be arriving at his qUarters soon. I know yoU're all excited, bUt don't forget aboUt the plan. Dimentio and Bill won't be as easy!"_

 _"Oh, Oi can probably one-shot 'em both!"_ Sheila said.

 _"Don't be crazy, Sheila!"_ Mason shouted.

"Look, if anyone encounters Bill, you have to call Jessie!" Nebula ordered. "It's as simple as that. And if you encounter Dimentio, call me and Diwata. We're the only ones that can beat him! Well, maybe not the ONLY ones…"


	37. The Multiverse Destroyer

**We're entering the endgame…**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-37: The Multiverse Destroyer_**

 **Casino Castle**

Bill Cipher saw from afar as towers crumbled and minions fell. The destruction was slowly making its way to their tower. "It can't…It can't end like this." Tears forced their way out of Bill's eyes. "Lord English will rewrite the universe…"

"So… even our devoted manager is giving up on us." Dimentio said. "I guess there's no point in playing around, anymore." He formed a Space Block over Bill and exploded it.

"AAAGH!" Bill was grounded, but seemed to sustain few injuries. "What?! You're betraying us, too?!"

Dimentio expanded his hand and grabbed Bill forcefully. "His Lordship should have known, Bill, when he promised us our very own dream worlds, the only thing that satisfies me is space. The sweet tranquility, the endless solitude, and as long as a shred of matter remained in the universe, I would not be satisfied. And why in the world would I want to live in a realm of HIS creation?!" Dimentio approached the unmoving lord. "The most atrocious artistry I've ever seen! He could not create a world of nothing even by leaving the canvas blank!"

 **"Ca…Caaa…"**

Dimentio bent over his shock-ridden eyes. "Do you know why your ambitions fail? Do you know why your minions betray you? The reason is simple: it's because you are a terrible writer! You're a useless piece of matter who never had a chance, and your so-called friends saw you as just that! The only thing I can give you credit for is showing me the multiverse."

Dimentio made a Space Block over English and exploded him. He fell out of his chair, but suffered no other damage. "Ah, of course. THAT wouldn't kill you. Space doesn't beat Time. But given enough firepower, I'm sure that will change." He squeezed Bill and threw him across the room, then bombarded him with Starbursts. "You'd be surprised what a super-dimensional being can find after quick explorations of the multiverse. I found so many Fountains of Youth and immortality potions that I don't NEED Lord English's timebending to stay alive!"

"You ungrateful bastard! Just what do you plan to do?! When Lord English regains consciousness, he'll obliterate you!"

"I will not give him the chance, Mr. Cipher. For the past three years, I have been collecting life elixirs from the multiverse and making myself stronger. My body has adapted with the Multiverse Portal more and more! At long last, I am one with the multiverse!" His body began to brim a bright pink.

In all the universes, the Dimentios spoke and the portals whirred uncontrollably. "I have become the Sea of Worlds that links all dimensions together! I have outgrown all dimensions and can play with them like toys!" Inside his Logia dimension, universes surrounded him everywhere. It made the _Noah_ 's planet storage look insignificant. "And once I force these worlds to collide, the explosion will be fantastic! Neither Lord English, the IDA, nor ANY remaining universe will survive! At last, the realm of endless space will come to fruition! And I will make it happen IF IT KILLS ME! !" (Play "Terminal Velocity" from _Sonic Colors_!)

 _Act 7: The Grandfather Tower_

A massive portal was beginning to form at the top of the highest tower. Nebula's group made it to the base of the tower just in time to see it. "Is that Dimentio's doing?!" Sunni exclaimed.

"I wouldn't doubt it." Nebula said. "That amount of Space Chi is enormous. Sunni, fly us up there!"

"You got it!" Sunni grabbed the group in psychic.

"Wait, I've got motion sickness—GAAAAAAHHH!" Emily cried as they went rocketing skyward.

They swiftly avoided green candles that shot the flames from left and right. Several windows opened on the tower and fired cannons, but only with Emily's Observation Haki could they tell which ones would open. Laser barriers activated, so Sunni used a Psychic Shield to get through them, but had to deactivate it whenever possible to conserve energy. Suddenly, a great wide barrier spread out from one part of the tower, and it had chi-blocks to keep them from teleporting past it. "We'll have to go up from inside!" Nebula shouted.

They flew into a window, and the inside was composed of giant gears. Sunni kept flying them up, with Emily using metalbending to move them aside. Giant skulls with Heartless Emblems came flying up after them, so Emily had to grab the gears and chuck them downward. The skulls were held back, and Sunni saw a steel hatch about to close on them. She boosted, but the hatch was close to closing, so Nebula shrunk their dimensions to get in the gap. They successfully made it, so Nebula resized them. The skulls could not get past the door, either.

The following part of the tower was divided into narrow passages, so Sunni made her group float in a line to get through them. One of those holes suddenly angled right, and when Sunni made the quick turn, they were back outside. A glass tunnel prevented them from roaming freely, and when they soared up, the tunnel spiraled around the front of a clock. A large Amp appeared and chased them through the tunnel, which spiraled around and toward the center. They picked up speed as Sunni kept a steady right turn, and they escaped through the center before the Amp caught up.

"We made it!" Sunni yelled, for the spiraling portal was even larger and mere feet away.

"I can see that!" Nebula replied.

 _"AHA HA HA HA! And so, my niece arrives like a cliché hero under the powers of deus ex machina! I hope you weren't relying on Jirachi to help you fight me. Your strength was weakened since your battle with Thanos, and even then, the only reason you won is because he wasn't from this world. But I am different! And even Jirachi's powers can do NOTHING to combat the MULTIVERSE!"_

"S-S-So, how are you going to beat him, Nebula?" Emily shuddered.

"I can't."

"YOU CAN'T?!" the others screamed.

 _Well… not by myself._ Nebula smirked. _It's true, he's too powerful as he is now… but if Calliope's prediction comes true, THEY'LL arrive any second!_

"So, you admit defeat…" Dimentio said calmly. "Aha ha ha ha… Well then, my dear niece… perhaps you will like to join me after all. Join your uncle in the endless serenity: the Eternal Space!"

 _"Gum-Gum GOOEY PISTOL! !"_ Monkey D. Luffy fell from the sky and PUNCHED Dimentio with the force of a meteor.

Dimentio regained balance and rubbed his sore jaw. "Well, that was a little rude. Tired of fighting the fodder, are you? Oh?" There was something sticky on his jaw: a light-purple goop.

"Hee hee hee!" Luffy snickered, for the purple goop was plastered over gloves on his fists.

 _"Dimensional Adhesive!" Stanford Pines presented to the members of the IDA. "I found this under my hometown on a buried alien saucer! It has the capability to seal dimensional rifts. This much alone won't be enough to stop the Thirteen Darknesses, but if we gathered vast quantities, we might have a chance of sealing the Multiverse Portal!"_

 _"That adhesive must exist in other worlds, too. We must begin collecting it immediately." Zedekiah Strong replied._

 _"But how will we be able to amass enough? Dimentio has linked thousands of universes." Sir Reginald asked._

 _"We will have to analyze this being further. If he is the core of the Multiverse Portal, then he is the one we need to retain."_

Dimentio looked behind his right when Ichigo appeared, his Zanpakutō covered in the adhesive. "You're an inter-dimensional being that can exist in multiple dimensions at once. Your body is a portal that allows the universes to leak into each other. If it wasn't for you, our worlds would've been safe!"

Natsu appeared and punched his flaming, goopy palm. "But on the bright side, we got to make a whole bunch of friends! And now we're all going to kick your ass!"

"Aha ha ha ha! I see… you're not all in my Logia space. You're back in your Original Worlds, talking to my physical forms. Well, go ahead. Lock up those portals. I have more than enough universes to create a Multiversal Explosion! Your worlds will NEVER be at peace! Your existence is-!"

Two Naruto clones punched Dimentio from both sides, fists covered with adhesive. "Then we'll just have to kill you a thousand times at once!"

"Aha ha ha ha! You and what army?"

"That one." Luffy said, picking his nose.

It was then Dimentio found himself surrounded. There was Allen Walker, Ruby Rose, the Original Aang, Avatar Korra, the Joestar Family, the Avengers, Wolverine, Akame, Edward Elric, Yato, Gon Freecss, Atsuko Kagari, and thousands of heroes surrounding him everywhere. Each of their weapons was drenched in Dimensional Adhesive. "There's no way you can handle us all!" Joseph Joestar declared.

"Every one of us prepared for this moment!" Ruby Rose twirled her scythe. "We're going to seal the Multiverse Portal from all openings, so you can NEVER terrorize us again!"

"Aha ha ha ha ha… the multiverse truly astonishes me… truly. Against forces you can't possibly comprehend… you push forward." (Play "The Ultimate Show" from _Super Paper Mario_!) "And yet… you are all so ugly. Cluttering my beautiful space. I will destroy every last one of you with the full extent of my power!" His body brimmed and the transformation commenced.

The points on his jester hat grew large and spiked, stars appeared under his eyes, and his striped cloak fluttered open, exposing the Sea of Worlds inside. He seemed to have six hands, with both sets merged in with each other. _"The powers of the Multiverse are mine to command… With this, I have everything I need… to erase EVERYTHING!"_

 _Boss fight: Multi-Dimentio_

Luffy entered Gear 2 and bombarded Dimentio with Jet Gatling, the Zathurian enduring the first hits before opening portals to catch Luffy's fists and redirect them back at him. Dimentio compressed Luffy's stomach, but the pirate entered Gear Third and puffed himself back up, punching Dimentio with giant fists that the latter countered with his own. Ichigo leapt at him from behind and slashed the back of Dimentio's head. When the Zathurian opened a portal to drop Shooting Stars on Ichigo, Ruby Rose leapt up to his giant face for strikes with her goop-covered scythe.

Dimentio rose to the sky and opened portals above them all, stomping giants boots and fists inside, but Pit Icarus flew skyward and slashed the entity's eyes. Pit flew higher and rocketed down with enough force to bring Dimentio back down. Akame struck Dimentio with Murasame, but the poisonous sword had no effect due to his enhanced life force. Ryūko Matoi used her Scissor Blades to cut up Dimentio's cape, and feeling her, the Space God made Space Blocks appear and explode around her.

Yato sliced Dimentio's cloak portal with his Regalia, Yukine, but a hand reached out of the portal and pulled him in. Yato was thrown out in pieces, with portals over their cut parts, and Dimentio pummeled them all with Starbursts to keep them from reuniting. He could not focus further attacks as Sebastian Michaelis began to paint adhesive over Dimentio's hat. Dimentio willed the points of the hat to divide and attempt to push him off, but if Sebastian could not dodge such a simple attack, what kind of butler would he be?

"First comes Rock!" Gon Freecss declared, swiftly dodging Dimentio's Starbursts. "Rock! Paper! …GLUE!" He performed a great jump when Dimentio tried to ensnare him in a Space Block, smacking the adhesive over the entity's face. "Mayenab Dysheebudo!" Hearing a girl's voice, Dimentio about-faced to see Atsuko Kagari pouring adhesive into her Shiny Sprinkler. The device rapidly spun around, spraying the substance all over the living portal. Dimentio warped the sprinkler away, but Diana Cavendish was still able to drench him, levitating adhesive with magic.

Purple spider-webs latched over Dimentio's eyes, and before he knew it, ten different Spider-Men were swinging around and binding his dimensional bodies in Dimension Adhesive. Fortunately for him, this only applied to their respective portals, so Dimentio was able to smack them away by dividing his hands into eight. Captain America's Vibranium Shield then stuck itself in Dimentio's nasal bridge, followed by Iron Man's rocket punches to the mouth, during which Cap climbed up to retrieve his shield and stab Dimentio's eyes with it.

Dimentio sucked the Avengers into pocket dimensions and struck them with a storm of Space Lightning. It mattered little, for it was time for Kirito, Eren Yeager, and Meliodas to slice Dimentio's limbs with their powerful swords. Dimentio bent the swords' dimensions in their direction, slightly cutting the wielders, and then Mario and Link whacked him with a goop-covered hammer and sword. Kirby swooped in and laid the beatdown with his Ultra Sword.

Don't leave Rayman and Jak out of the mix, beating up Dimentio with pure martial arts. Then came Sly Cooper to slap goop on the deity with his cane, along with Ratchet and his trusty OmniWrench. _"Fine, you outdated game characters! How about a little downgrade?!"_ With a burst of energy, Dimentio turned everything in his radius two-dimensional.

"Mama Mia! He's-a made us old-school!" 8-bit Mario exclaimed.

"I don't know how to move in only two directions!" Ratchet yelled.

"I do!" And with that, Rayman attacked Dimentio the good old-fashioned way, while Mario jumped up to his head and Link dealt the same sword maneuver on the feet. Sonic repeatedly bounced against his body, but alas, none of the sprites could dodge a giant meteor that launched from a portal in the background. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong had been out of the meteor's range, so the duo rolled up as Diddy tossed his uncle onto the deity's head, laying some furious beatdowns with his goop-covered fists.

 _"Perhaps a little less data than THAT!"_ Dimentio reduced their dimensions one more, leaving everyone as one-dimensional lines. This was nothing to Mario and Kirby, who were already one-dimensional to begin with, so they attacked Dimentio, barely noticed by him at all as all lines looked the same. _"You lesser life-forms are utterly irritating! Very well… I'll give your dimensions back and INCREASE MY OWN!"_ Everyone's 3-D shapes returned, and Dimentio began to multiply himself with five dimensions, six, and eight-

And then the Incredible Hulk smashed the easy target back together, with help from The Thing and Batman. Allen Walker and Ruby cut him to pieces, and Harry Potter and Oliver used magic to spread the adhesive around his body. _"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA…!"_ Jotaro's Star Platinum laid rapid punches on Dimentio's front, and Luffy did Gum-Gum Gatling on the same side, with neither interfering with the other as they were in separate dimensions. Banjo and Kazooie also flew above Dimentio's head and performed a Bill Drill using the bird's goop-covered beak.

Dimentio warped all the pests away from him, then reduced their dimensions to tiny size. Jimmy Neutron used his size ray to make himself giant, and the Pines Twins used their magic flashlight to make themselves giant, attacking Dimentio with enlarged versions of the goop. The aggravated Space God shrunk them again, but by then, his original shrink wore off and everyone re-expanded. "He must be using almost every ounce of power to keep the universes connected!" Ichigo assumed. "He can't use any other powers to their fullest potential."

 _"You dare to doubt my unlimited power?! You sickening pieces of matter, I-"_

Natsu socked Dimentio in the side of the head, and Thor brought his hammer powerfully down on his crown. "You can't even keep track of all of us." Natsu said simply. "Everyone's been attacking you since this battle started, but you only hit a few of us at a time. Heck, some of them probably closed their portals."

 _"Your petty attacks don't mean a thing to me. No amount of sealing you can do will ever stop me, and no amount of attacks will bring me pain!"_

"I'm not so sure about that." A girl's voice said from nowhere. "Up here!" Dimentio rolled his eyes up and spotted Diwata Uno.

 _"Huh? Oh, right… you're the girl with the Moon Firstborn. …What was your purpose again?"_

"Oh, calling me USELESS, are you?! Well, how's THIS for useless? I used moonbending to turn invisible and sneak up on you! And look what I brought with me!" Something materialized above her: it seemed to be a bloated moon with eyes and a mouth.

 _"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!"_

"This guy is Crest, and he needs to lose some weight after that Last Lunch! But it won't be pee coming out: it'll be a juicy little liquid called MOON DRIP!" Diwata grabbed the Firstborn and SQUEEZED him like a sponge. Sacred blue liquid squirted into Dimentio's mouth. It had a juicy, fruity taste, yet it left an unsettling feeling in his body.

 _THUMP!_ Dimentio felt his heart beat painfully. _"Ack! What did you do to me?! I swallowed entire Fountains of Youth, so many elixirs, so nothing you can do can possibly…"_

"Moon Drip can cure supernatural ailments, silly. No matter what you drank from those other worlds, nothing beats the power of Firstborn Magic!"

 _"AAAAAAAHHHH!"_ The overwhelming powers of the multiverse were crushing in on him. _"ACK! ! PAIN! THE PAIN! Why won't the multiverse listen to me?! I…I'M LOSING CONTROL! !"_

"HE'S GOING TO BLOW!" Ichigo exclaimed. "Everyone, PATCH HIM UP!"

"You should've known!" Luffy readied his Elephant Gun. "Not to underestimate the power of OUR TEAMWORK!"

"Our SPIRIT!" Ichigo joined.

"Our WILL!" Naruto's clones climbed around Dimentio and slapped adhesive.

"Our EMOTIONS!" roared Natsu.

"Our HEARTS!" Mickey Mouse used the Keyblade to seal the portal in adhesive.

"Our STRAWBERRY MILK!" Bo-bobo entangled him in goopy nosehair.

"Our FREEDOM!" declared Captain America.

"Our DREAMS!" Akko Kagari cheered.

At the same time to deliver their final blows were Allen, Ruby Rose, Akame, Ryūko, Meliodas, Kirito, Mario, Link, Kirby, Fox McCloud, Jotaro doing the "ORA ORA" thing, Ratchet, Spyro, Alibaba Saluja, Danny Phantom, Aang, Korra, Stevonnie, Kamijou _Touma using Imagine Breaker, and Superman and One-Punch Man delivering a fatal blow to both sides of Dimentio's head._

 _"AAAAA—mmmmmmmppppphhhh! ! !"_ Soon, Dimentio's entire body was smothered in the bright purple adhesive. All exits in all worlds were sealed! Except for one…

With the portal above the castle going unstable, Nebula, Jirachi, Diwata, and Crest combined their power to shrink and maintain it. "We have to let the energy explode somewhere or it'll ruin the path between dimensions!" Nebula shouted. "Jirachi… I…I wish this portal was in a distant, mostly uninhabited dimension where it couldn't possibly do harm to any other dimension! !"

"With the last of my power… I'll…I'LL DO IT! !" Jirachi BURNED with energy, channeling every last ounce of magic and Space Chi before the portal _poofed!_ from existence. (End song.) No longer needing to exert their selves, the kids dropped in exhaust.

 **Somewhere far away and forgotten**

In an incarnation of New York, a sentient polar bear was twerking to an iPad and trying to persuade a bunch of humans that looked like dolls to not build homes in the arctic. They then noticed a portal appear in the sky. "Say, look at that!" Norm pointed.

 ** _BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM . . . . . . . ._**

In the other worlds, everyone braced their guard when the body of adhesive PUFFED like a bubble and threatened to explode. But within seconds, it shrunk and poofed out of existence. "Phew…" Natsu breathed a sigh of relief. And as he looked up at Fiore's blue sky, he and everyone were filled with happiness.

Above the Grand Line's sky, above Karakura's sky, above the Ninja World's sky, above all skies in all the universes, not a single trace of the Multiverse Portal existed. The great rift that had opened their worlds to destruction, opened it to Lord English's control, was gone.

"Sigh…" Stanford Pines sighed. "Finally… the last Darkness is defeated. That means the Protection Charm around Lord English should be gone. The rest is up to you, kids…"

 **Casino Castle**

". . . ." Bill saw the last of Dimentio from his window. Nebula's group was down there on the courtyard. "It's over… they're here! It's over…"

 **"Calliope…Calliope… …Bill…"**

Bill's heart skipped a beat. He whipped around to face him. Lord English didn't move from his position, but he finally spoke comprehensively. **"Bill… did Dimentio… really not love my ideas?"**

"I…I…I'm sorry, My Lord…"

 **"Is that why… all of them are breaking my castle? Did none of my minions love my ideas?"**

"They…They didn't… Your Lordship… I'm sorry…"

 **". . . . Did YOU love my ideas, Bill?"**

Bill's heart skipped a beat again. English weakly sat himself up. His neck crackled as he turned his head to face Bill. **"Bill… why did you leave my head? In my head, you could've watched my ideas form… Did you not love my ideas?"**

Bill shivered. The tears leaking from his wide, flashing eyes filled him with fear. "O-O-Of course I did, Your Lordship. I always loved your ideas."

 **"You…You did… Bill?"**

"Of COURSE, Lord English!" Bill cried, struggling to retain the lies. "Your ideas have always been fantastic! And besides, you're All-Seeing! You'd be able to tell if I was lying, wouldn't you? You know I'm telling the truth!"

 **"…Yes…Yes, I know… I always knew you did, Bill… but why are those people… trying to ruin them? Why…Why is Calliope…"**

"Because they're bad people, My Lord. But don't you worry. I'm going to stop them right now. And then we're going to live happily ever after… the way we always wanted!" And with that, Bill turned and walked out of the room.

 **Outside**

"Sigh… you did great, Jirachi." Nebula sat on the ground in rest. "I think it's time I give back the chi I borrowed from you."

"But Nebula, you're nearly depleted. If I take my power back, you won't have anything left for the battle with English."

"You'll need it more than me, to restore the universe. I'm sure everyone else will be just enough."

"Sigh… Okay."

Sunni and Emily faced forward. They were at the top of the Grandfather Tower. They were at Lord English's mansion. The outside was beautiful: pretty neon nightlights, a fountain with a Bill Cipher statue, and bush idols of The Thirteen. "You know, if I were an evil super-being, I would want a mansion atop a tower surrounded by a planet-size fortress, too." Sunni commented.

"This will be _my_ mansion after I become a famous scientist." Emily said.

"Discuss it later, you two." Nebula pulled out the Vanishing Box. "Bill and Lord English must be in there… which means it's time to enact our plan." She opened the box, and out climbed Jessie Sidney and Harvey Harper.

"Yes." Jessie smirked. "It's time to finally complete Operation: Kill Bill."

* * *

 **To be continued in Chapter F-38: "Why Didn't His Lordship Love Me?"**


	38. Why Didn't His Lordship Love Me?

**The end is near. Play "Hideout Helm 2" from _Donkey Kong 64_.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-38: Why Didn't His Lordship Love Me?_**

 _Act Last: English Manor_

Jessie Sidney and Harvey Harper approached the steps to the manor, but the doors were completely sealed. After searching around the courtyard for a moment, Harvey could feel frantic emotions coming from the fountain. He poked his head underneath and realized Key Fish were swimming in a vast underwater cavern. Jessie inflated a fish bubble and got inside, using it to submerge and maneuver under the water. One of the Key Fish was shaped like a triangle while the others were green skulls, so he decided to chase that one. Jessie was able to grab the key, but all the other keys began swarming and trying to pop his bubble. Harvey threw a yo-yo underneath and through Jessie's bubble, the president grabbing it as Harvey reeled him up.

With that, the two could enter the foyer of the mansion. Billiard Boys greeted them by shooting pool balls with the force of cannons, the boys dodging as Jessie formed a bubble wall in defense. Harvey used his bending to ignite his anger, body aflame as he lashed out and tore up the MS Paint creatures. The last two turned their sights on him, only for Jessie to stab them from behind and put them to sleep with his Keyblade. The top of the foyer stairs held a large door sealed by a horned lock, no doubt requiring a Boss Key.

The only other door open was at the bottom left, which led into the manor's kitchen. It seemed that baby unicorns were moving along a treadmill, with Time Chi being focused to increase their age until they were chopped up by butchers. The treadmill seemed to go over a chasm, so they would likely need to cross it. There was a clock above the cabinets reading how many years the unicorns would age, so Jessie jumped off Harvey and got up there to switch the clock to '0'. The unicorns ceased aging, but perhaps it would be best to stop them from coming out entirely. Harvey tossed his yo-yo to pull the lever above the treadmill to accomplish this.

With that, the boys could board the treadmill and ride across without aging. They were required to jump over rows of flying knives and use Harvey's yo-yo to swing a branch over an electrified portion. Harvey then had to swing them to floating treadmill platforms, which would quickly drop into the pit, requiring them to swing to the next one quickly. Once they reached the platform on the other side, they picked up a key with a clock design. Jessie hit an hourglass switch, and this caused the boys to Rewind all the way back through the course, whilst keeping the key on hand since it was immune to Time Chi.

This key could enter a room on the bottom-right of the foyer. This room led to the Princess Quarters, full of ancient and wrinkled Disney Princesses, all in fluffy coats and having had the years squeezed out of them. "P-P-Please…" croaked a wrinkly Cinderella. "Our youth… remind us of our youth…"

Scattered about the room appeared to be glowing green objects, but the princesses were too feeble to pick them up. They found a glass slipper for Cinderella, a fork for Ariel, a lamp for Jasmine, a tiara for Aurora, an apple for Snow White, a frying pan for Rapunzel, and a bow for Merida. It seemed that there was Time Chi imbued in these objects, and simply touching them caused them to age backwards.

"HOORAY!" Cinderella cheered, ripping off her coat and dancing in her silver gown. "We're beautiful again!"

"I don't know about you girls," Merida said, "but Ay want to shoot that beast in the eye!"

"I'm with ya, Sister!" Rapunzel followed, readying her frying pan.

"That's very feminist of you, girls," Jessie replied, "but we'll handle the green brute ourselves."

"Oh dear, we couldn't let you poor children do that." Snow White replied.

"Shut up and let the men handle it."

"How DARE ya!" Merida aimed her bow at them. "I have half a mind to-"

"Good night." Jessie blew Sleep Bubbles over her and Rapunzel, knocking them out. "Oh look, a key." The arrow Merida had tried to loose was another key.

"You ladies should probably head outside." Harvey instructed. "Our friends can help you from there."

The key was used for a door in the upper-left of the foyer, which led to the casino room.

 ** _To be added._**

 _It's time, Madotsuki. Are you sure you're prepared for this?_

 _I am, Jessie. I…I'm afraid… but I know I have to. For the sake of defeating Bill._

 _Yes… but don't worry. I promise we'll help you as long as you need us._

Jessie and Harvey entered an empty room with a checkered floor. There stood the person Jessie was dying to meet again. "Well, well, well… Congratulations for making it this far, Polokus. So, I assume you've come to kill me… no, not just that. You first want to get Madotsuki's reality back, don't you?"

"Glad we're on the same page." Jessie said. "We can get this over with easier."

"What good is saving that useless girl gonna do? The universe is already doomed, Jessie. And once Lord English is back to full strength, we'll start all over again. We'll find NEW Darknesses and create a NEW Multiverse Portal! With the power of time at his behest, we can do anything!"

"More like Lord English can do anything." Harvey replied. "I haven't seen you do anything since we first arrived at the First Dimension. I think you're afraid, Bill. Your chi might be slightly different, but it is fearbending. You wouldn't have it if you weren't afraid."

"And why should I be afraid of two useless brats?"

"It isn't us you're afraid of. You're afraid because everything you've spent all this time building is crumbling down. You're angry because you think you've worked harder than Lord English. …But I can tell you're afraid of something else."

"I'm afraid of nothing. As long as Lord English and I are together, we'll be invincible. I know he'll protect me… that's why I'm going to protect HIM! YOU AREN'T TAKING ANOTHER STEP! !" (Play "Your Contrast Has Expired" from _A Hat in Time_!)

 _Semifinal boss: Bill Cipher_

Bill cast a storm of Fear Spheres at the duo, but Harvey grabbed and threw them back. Bill spun his bowtie and opened a door on his shirt, releasing spider-clowns and Devil cars. Harvey used Pride to harden his body and attack them with super strength, and as they were weakened, Jessie trapped them in bubbles with his Keyblade. Bill cast beams at both their hats and made them grow teeth, painfully chomping the boys' hair. They desperately tore the hats off, and before the hats could retaliate, Harvey soothed their artificial hearts.

Bill conjured giant golden pyramids above the ceiling, and looking at their eyes would stir the darkest fears in their hearts. They tried to instigate this via shining red spotlights on them, so the boys held their eyes shut. Harvey sensed their direction via the chi signals, facing Jessie in those directions so he could shoot them blind. When they felt the pyramids were gone, they reopened their eyes, and Jessie immediately clashed Keyblade against scepter when Bill rapidly attacked. Bill jumped away and cast a large golden beam, which Jessie and Harvey combined their powers to hold back.

"Are we forgetting Bill has a Power Level of a million?" Harvey asked.

"That's why I need to get close to him, smartass."

The duo eventually broke away and let the beam pass, and Bill couldn't redirect it in time before it wore off. Harvey lashed his yo-yos and wrapped around Bill, but he effortlessly cut the string and blew a storm of golden bubbles from his scepter. The bubbles were trying to home in on the kids, and while Jessie could pop some, a few latched on their heads, providing an illusion of a monster biting their head, a gun shooting them, or some other kind of horror that didn't physically hurt them, but left the mental scar.

They were able to pop all the bubbles, but Bill was quick to slash them in the chests with the tip of his scepter. "You're a trillion years too early to fight me in this form, Polokus! Do you remember when I melted your monument? I did that by stirring the fear in the Earth Chi around it! I can manipulate ANYTHING by imbuing it with fear! Including your own HAIR!"

Their hair suddenly grew and strangled the boys' necks, to which Bill seized the chance to shoot lasers. Jessie whacked the lasers away as Harvey used his bending to remove the fear in their hair. Bill stabbed his scepter in the center of the room and unleashed six beams from it. Those beams all connected into a star, widened the radius a tad, and electrified, with Jessie and Harvey forced to remain in small, safe places. The star slowly rotated, the boys carefully keeping within those safe spots. The beams eventually stopped, so Jessie leapt over to whack Bill a few times with his Keyblade.

Bill started to counter Jessie's swings, and suddenly did a Fear Screech to drop Jessie's guard and kick him away. Harvey lit his body aflame with Anger and threw furious punches at Bill, grabbing his scepter and throwing it from his grasp, but Bill extended his fingernails and scratched Harvey's boiling skin. Harvey grabbed Bill's hands in his own, enduring the pain of his piercing fingers, while Jessie got behind and struck Bill some more.

A mouth appeared on Bill's rear and gnashed at Jessie's pelvis, and the boy jumped back in a fright. Bill lifted and threw Harvey into Jessie, then he turned his arms into snakes to bite the boys' legs. Jessie cut the snakes off and blew a string of Sleep Bubbles. Bill regained his scepter and quickly popped them, but using Keyblade magic, Jessie made the liquid of the bubbles fly around and whip Bill in the eyes. Bill maintained his consciousness and grew three Hydra heads from his staff to attack them.

Jessie blew more bubbles to trap the heads and put them to sleep, then Harvey ran across their bodies to punch Bill across the room. Jessie then ran in for a forceful swing at the demon, to which Bill blocked with his staff. "I'm sure you know about being paralyzed with fear, Jessie! But I can take it a step farther… with petrification!" Bill's eyes flashed, and for a moment Jessie felt his nerves harden like stone, but a fire burned in his eyes that kept him strong and immune. In truth, this was Harvey channeling his emotionbending over the Indian to keep him fearless. "You're going to fail, Jessie! Even if you kill me, Lord English will revive me a hundred times over! He'll force the Darknesses to be loyal again! You will NEVER WIN!"

"Nnnnngh! We'll… see… about… THAAAT!" Harvey imbued Jessie with more determination, and with that, Jessie knocked the scepter away and stabbed Bill in the head. Inevitably, the sweet embrace of slumber overcame Bill, and he fell down. Jessie and Harvey exchanged glances.

 **Dream World**

Jessie and Harvey appeared in Bill's dreamscape. "He has to be around somewhere!" Jessie said.

"Uhh… is that him?" Harvey asked worriedly.

A gigantic black pyramid with three divided sections, spinning opposite directions, loomed over them terrifyingly. _"Be it the Waking World or the Dream World… my power is limitless! Now **DIE! !"**_

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" A storm of 10,000 bubbles, each brimming with unfathomable nightmares, struck Harvey and Jessie with absolutely zero misses. It took no extra time for the two to vanish from existence. (End song.)

 _"HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA! What kind of performance was THAT?! You two were absolute JOKES! Useless trash that isn't even worth slaying! But I'll make your deaths quick and painless. Time to return to the Waking World and end your existences once and for all! Hehehehehahaha…"_ Bill pinched himself in the eyelid, and his human body was scared awake.

"Hahaha…eh?" Where he awoke was not English Manor, but… "Gallagher Elementary? What the heck am I doing here?" With curiosity, Bill approached the school.

He found two girls chatting to each other inside the entrance. "I heard the writing teacher quit her job and let _him_ take over."

"Ugh, what'd you expect? He's…?" The other girl noticed Bill. They giggled snarkily and walked away.

Bill rolled his eyes and kept walking. "Talk about future whores."

Bill entered a room where several girls were gathered around someone writing. "Oooo, he's making another one!"

"Yeah, this story's about a cat outsmarting a smartass puppy!"

Bill knew only one person that would write a story like that. "My Lord?" Through the girls, Bill saw young Caliborn writing away. "Haha, I should've known you'd be behind this, My Lord! Come on, ditch these bitches and let's finish off the KND!"

Caliborn kept writing, ignoring everything he said. "…My Lord?"

"YES!" cried Caliborn, raising his paper. "Another story completed ALL by myself! Come on, future whores, to the coat store! !" Caliborn charged through Bill, and all the girls ran past him like a ghost.

Mouth agape, Bill watched them all run out of the classroom. He stepped out and found the halls void of any life. An eerie quiet ensued. Bill wandered lost through the halls for several minutes. There was a passage that was especially long, and a bright light shone at the end of it. Bill walked all the way down and opened the doors. Girls were joyfully raising Caliborn in the air with praise and honor. Bill walked into the crowd, but felt himself get smaller.

"M-…My Lord?" The girls towered over him, throwing English up and down. "My Lord! Can you hear me?!"

"What're YOU still doing here?" one of the girls asked Bill snarkily. "He doesn't NEED you, anymore! You're trash!" And she kicked him away.

Bill landed in a salon, where Lord English rested on a chair and was softly patted by pretty, coated women. **"I don't have an inspiration! My talent just comes to me! Brooo ha ha haaaa!"**

"What is he saying?! Of COURSE he has an inspiration, ME!" Bill shouted.

 **"Hrm?"** English looked over at him. **"Oh, don't mind him. He was the first idea I had. I abandoned him a long time ago."**

"What?! No he didn't, I was his mentor! Without me, he wouldn't KNOW how to write!"

 **"Oh, Bill… did you forget?"** The scene turned into that of Bill tapping a chalkboard of equations with his cane, while Caliborn gripped his head in agony. **"All you were to me was entertainment. And not even GOOD entertainment. That dumb math shit, that god-awful piano, and what was with teaching that cavegirl to speak?"** A vision of Caliborn teaching English to a young Nel. **"I threw you aside for some NEW entertainment. And I found that in making stories!"** The vision of Bill faded away, a happy smile on his young master's face as he began drawing.

"Oh, suuure. And did any of your precious stories gather the Thirteen Darknesses, trick a scientist into setting up the Multiverse Portal, and organize this entire plan, ALL WHILE YOU WERE HELPLESSLY TRAPPED?!"

 **"I had vessels, Bill! I had time-travel! I could've done it ALL myself! I just made YOU do it all so you'd quit giving me a headache! You were a pawn to me, Bill, just like Medusa. You're only lucky I didn't destroy you, too!"**

"That's a LIE! You needed me and you know it! Why don't you just admit it?! YOU NEEDED ME!" Yet, his voice was drowned by the flock of coated women, giggling as they piled around His Lordship. "YOU NEEED MEEEEEE! ! !" Bill was slurped away as if by an invisible vacuum, until there was nothing but complete darkness.

 _Why…_ Bill was falling…falling… into darkness… _Why doesn't His Lordship love me? I've always been there for him. I've always… helped him…_

"WAIT!" Bill snapped out of his trance. "I know what's going on here! I'm still in the Dream World! Polokus and that emotion kid are pulling some kind of trick! Well, NO MORE! ERAAAGH!" With a burst of power, the darkness blew away like a paper wall. He was at the Council of Teensies, and all the council members were staring awkwardly at him. "Heh heh, WELL, WELL, WELL! You guys thought you could get the jump on OLLLE Bill? You guys deserve a reward, and you know what it is?" He BLASTED the Teensie King's podium, blasted the exit, blasted at Globox, blasted Ly, destroyed Murfy against the ceiling, and reduced the council to utter chaos.

"AHHH HAHAHAHA! Trying to pull a prank on Bill Cipher?! WELL, IT FAILED! Lord English NEEDS me! He'll ALWAYS NEED ME! ALWAAAAYS! ! AHH HAHAHAHA…eh?" Eventually, the entire council hall was left with nothing but smoke. "Huh… Man, I guess I overdid it. Well, I'm glad that nuisance is dealt with. Now to wake up for REAL." He pinched himself, and the world went black.

Bill woke up in the room where the battle took place. Jessie and Harvey were conked out on the floor. "Well, that's what ya get, Polokus." Bill casually destroyed their bodies. "Hmm… it seems a tad dark. My Lord, did you forget to pay the electric bill?" Bill entered the casino. "Have you awoken yet, My Lord? …My Lord?" Bill approached the chair, but all that existed was a small radio.

 _"The universe rejoices as the Kids Next Door have successfully defeated the all-powerful Lord English and his Thirteen Darknesses!"_

 _"It was an expected victory, Linda,"_ Morbo's malicious voice replied, _"for despite Lord English's overwhelming power over those FEEBLE Earthlings, he was simply too unintelligent to achieve victory."_

 _"Yes, Morbo. If only Lord English had someone—a reliable partner, perhaps, to serve as his brains while he did all this complex universe-conquering."_

 _"Well, there was SOMEONE that came close: the Zathurian, Dimentio. Sadly, he was nothing more than a traitorous fool who DESPISED English's ideas!"_

 _"Well, who wouldn't, Morbo? Lord English is such a shitty writer, even his OWN ideas would escape from his mind if they had the chance."_

 _"A feeble effort, indeed. For even in reality, a shitty idea can NEVER escape from its source: and that source is ABSOLUTE NOTHING!"_

Bill smashed the radio into a million pieces. "Piece of shit. LORD ENGLISH, where are you?!" He walked down another passage and arrived at the money chamber. All the one-dollar bills had diamond symbols rather than Eye of Providences, just like when Jessie became president. Bill set blue fire to all the dollars to find his way through, and after reaching another hall, there was a giant dollar bill slowly burning away. The last of it to remain was the Eye of Providence, but the pyramid burned, and then the eye.

"Is any of this supposed to MEAN something, Polokus?!" Bill continued forward. "Whatever it is, you're dead wrong! When this is over, I'll sign my name next to every idol of Lord English! I'll paint my picture on every street, make everyone cut it into their arm—hell, I'll even burn my image into His Lordship's brain, so that way, he'll NEVER forget what I did for him, no matter HOW MUCH HE TRIES!"

At that instant, someone punched him in the head. Bill looked up at who it was: "You're even more hopeless than I am." Madotsuki said, her expression dull. "At least I loved my Creations. They were always there for me. What were you to Lord English?"

They faced up at the sky. Galaxies glistened the heavens, but one by one, they vanished. **_"Don't care about that one… and don't like that one, anymore… meh, that one is boring."_**

"But I'm different from those other worlds! I have personality! I had a heart! I… H-He cared for me!"

Someone else punched Bill. "No, he didn't!" Mary stated. "You were just a hopeless Friend with hopeless dreams. You were as poorly developed as all his other ideas. You were bound to fade away sooner or later."

"That's right." Jack Frost hit him with his cane. A devilish smirk was plastered on all their faces. "So, why don't you accept your fate?"

Phosphora and Django were there, and they all gathered in a circle, leaving no escape for Bill as they punched and kicked him around. "ENOUGH!" Bill destroyed Django, then Mary, but another Django came, he destroyed Jack, then Mary came back, then Phosphora, Mado, Jack, Mado, Mary, Phosphora, Jack, Mary, Jack, Jack, Mary, Phosphora, Mosphora, Jacko, Djary, Jary, Phosphack, Mack! Hundreds and hundreds of them brutally pummeled Bill into a useless pulp.

 _"Useless! Nothing! Trash! Your life was meaningless! There's nowhere you can run from the truth! Not in Dream World… or the Human World!"_

"Stop! No! This isn't real! I'm still dreaming! Why haven't I waken up?! Why am I still in the Dream World?! It must be Jessie! He must be using his Keyblade to trap me in some kind of extended sleep! And Harvey's using his powers to make this nightmare! They won't keep me here!" Bill whacked them away and aimed the pyramid of his scepter at his heart. "I'm ending this nightmare PERMANENTLY!" And with that, the golden tip pierced his heart.

He was lost in a sea of stars. _Why didn't His Lordship love me? We did everything together. I was his best friend._ The stars slowly disappeared. _Why didn't His Lordship love me? I was his greatest idea. Wait… that's why His Lordship didn't love me. Because His Lordship refused to acknowledge my existence._

After the last star was gone, Bill had appeared in a realm of thirteen doors. While he didn't at first realize it, he was in his triangle form. Bill approached the center door and entered Madotsuki's bedroom. There she was asleep on her bed. Outside on the tall apartment balcony was the expansive view of the endless dream sky. Bill was about to exit to that balcony, when-

"You're afraid of being forgotten." He turned to face Mr. Dark. "It was never part of Lord English's plan for you to steal Madotsuki's reality. It was YOUR plan. Because you were afraid that he would cast you aside. That he would erase you."

". . . . OH, IT'S TRUUUEEE!" Bill burst into tears. "Lord English never loved ANY of his ideas! Every piss-poor piece of literature he created never lasted a minute! It didn't matter to him if I lasted longer than the others! He was going to erase me! No matter what I did, I was just another dumb idea!" He sobbed some more.

"It's hard, Bill. Being so attached to our creators. Whatever they think, we become. Whether it's darkness… or emptiness."

Bill's sobbing ceased. "Yes… but His Lordship won't forget me. I'll make sure of it." He faced the balcony exit. "I'll destroy every last hopeless dream until only I exist. I'll be there for him… until the very-" The moment he reached for the handle, the balcony door burst into pink fire. "WHAT?! ?" (Play "Bill Cipher's Death Theme" from _Gravity Falls_!)

The other exit caught fire, and soon, the entire perimeter was nothing but flames. "W-What is…"

 **Hivebent**

Jessie and Harvey slowly led Madotsuki to a Decommissioning Chamber, one they had stripped from the Newbase and had installed here. For this very moment. "Are you ready, Mado?" Harvey asked.

"Yes." Madotsuki took the seat. "I am."

With worried expressions, Kanaya typed the code. The plunger positioned itself in front of Madotsuki, and in seconds, her face was swallowed by it.

 **Dream World**

The minute the sucking began was when the apartment caught fire. "Decommissioning is an ugly process, Bill." Mr. Dark said. "It makes people forget their happiness… and their sins. But… we found there are _some_ uses for it!"

It quickly sank into Bill. "NO! PLEASE, STOP THIS! I-I'll give you anything! Money! Fame! UNLIMITED POWER! ! I'LL MAKE MADOTSUKI MORE POWERFUL THAN LORD ENGLISH! You'll have the UNIVERSE at your behest! Just PLEASE STOP THIS!"

"Your master was not loyal to you, Cipher… and as such, you were not loyal to him. I think it's time we were both erased of our misery."

"NO! **NOOOOO!"** Bill's body began to electrify as he morphed into all sorts of hideous, distorted forms. "AXOLOTL! MY TIME HAS COME TO BURN! I INVOKE THE ANCIENT POWER THAT I MAY RETURN!" The flames were at their peak, and nothing but empty whiteness awaited Bill. "LORD ENGLISH! ! DON'T FORGET _MEEEEEEEEEE. . . . !"_

Mr. Dark closed his eyes. "Madotsuki…" He opened and looked at his sleeping master. "Please… enjoy the New Universe. And live… happily…" And soon, he met the same fate as Bill.

The camera zoomed out from the whiteness, which shrunk into a blank space within Madotsuki's pupil. Jessie, Harvey, and the team of Jack Frost, Django, Phosphora, and Mary studied her. "Madotsuki… Do you remember anything?" Harvey asked.

". . . . Mado…tsuki?"

The friends bowed their heads. They knew, the three-year plan they had been constructing… it had succeeded. And Mr. Dark had made his sacrifice: using the Protoon to transport Bill and Mado's friends to the Dream World, so that their physical bodies could attack his own and make him think he was still dreaming. With the Teensie Council's help in creating the nightmare… it worked.

"Will you guys watch after her?" Harvey asked.

"Yes." Phosphora nodded. "We'll keep her company… until the very end."

"…Then let's go." Jessie and Harvey jumped back inside the Vanishing Box.

"Who…Who… am I?" Mado asked.

"Your name is Madotsuki." Jack Frost replied. "And you…you've had a rough life. It might take a while to explain… but what the hey, we have time to spare."

 **English Manor**

"We've got it!" The Gilligan Triplets were warped to the courtyard, raising Don Gero. Wendy used magic to return the frog to his original form.

The rest of the gods appeared in the sky, along with the weakened form of Arceus. _"Thank goodness… I was tired of fighting him."_ Arceus said.

"All Gods, INTO THAT FROG!" Palutena declared. So with that, she, Arceus, Dialga, Palkia, Medusa, Kyogre, Groudon, Solaris, Polaris, Viridi—ALL GODS miniaturized themselves to tiny size and entered the mouth of the Universe Frog. Then, Celebi shrunk all the Firstborn. Midna waved bye to Dillon, Diancie to Anthony, Hylia to her three Guardians, and they all entered the frog as well.

With that, the kids bolted through the mansion, past Bill's boss room, and into Lord English's casino. "There he is!" exclaimed Haylee. "Go for it, Harry!"

Harry Gilligan raced forward, Universe Frog in hand. "SUH-LAAAAAM…" With a gracious leap, Harry's eyes were locked on the lord's gaping mouth, "DUNK!" In the Universe Frog went!

 _"YYYEEEEAAAH!"_ cheered the kids.

 **"Gluh…gluh…GULP!"** Lord English swallowed the frog with gusto.

"Harry, read me the story of the old Time Lord that swallowed the frog!" Haylee sang.

 **"GRAAAAAAHHH!"** His Lordship's bellow rattled the whole mansion.

"He's awake now!" Harvey screamed.

"RUUUN!" cried Haylee, and the kids put all the power in their feet as Lord English pursued them through the halls.

They zipped past a closed passage, from which Cheren and Calliope peeked out. "Oh, no! My brother woke Up a little ahead of schedUle! We were barely able to get the frog in him in time!"

"Let's help them!" Cheren was about to run out.

"NO!" Calliope held him back. "It's not yet time to fight that form of his! YoUr friends will be okay!"

"You sure?!"

"Yes! He doesn't seem to be fUlly conscioUs at the moment. Please, follow me!" Calliope and Cheren ran down a flight of stairs, deep into the mansion's basement. "There are actUally two incarnations of my brother that exist in this time. The other one is the piece that was separated from me!" They kicked open a door. "THERE!"

The young version of Caliborn whipped around from his writing desk. "SISTER!"

"Brother!"

"Who's that little turd beside you?! Is that one of your new characters, Sis? You're here to rub him in my face, aren't you?! Well, I'll show YOU whose ideas are better! GET THEM, FELLAS!" (Play "Baby Bowser 1" from _Yoshi's Story_!)

 _Boss fight: Caliborn_

"Cheren, woUld yoU knock some sense into him for me?"

"Gladly!" Cheren said fiercely.

Taking his sketch paper with him, Caliborn leapt onto an MS Paint flying worm (or was it a snake?), soaring around the room as MS Paint versions of his friends attacked him. Cheren slaughtered a painted Mason, Maddy, Dillon, Chris, and George before facing up at the young lord. He used Light Arrows to shoot the snakes in the face, but Caliborn merely jumped to another snake, and he would also do so if arrows were aimed at him.

Cheren spotted another sketchpad on the desk and went to draw on it. He made MS Paint spikes appear on the ceiling and drew a path for Caliborn's snake to fly up into them. Caliborn still jumped off and conjured more MS Paint clones to attack his enemy. Cheren killed them all with three spin attacks and had to redraw the spikes since Caliborn erased the first ones. He directed the snake up there again, but just as he jumped off, Cheren drew spikes under him and injured the young lord.

Caliborn drew more snakes to keep him aloft, but this time they were specifically keeping away from the spikes. Cheren drew some in his flight path, but the snake directed up, and Cheren kept making obstacles, forcing the snake to go in loops, making the space within ever tighter, and Cheren was swift to draw spikes in the opening Caliborn would leap out. After another round of ugly clones were sent at Cheren, this time Caliborn was quickly jumping around multiple snakes. He would only jump if spikes obstructed his path, after which he would erase them, and he had multiple places to jump. Cheren decided to draw spikes on the various snakes, and when Caliborn tried to erase them, his snake flew toward spikes, and eventually he was forced to jump on a spiked snake.

As Caliborn flailed his arms from the pain, Cheren drew one extra spike to STAB into his head, causing Caliborn to fall from the perch. He plopped on the floor, standing dizzily and throwing the spike off him. Caliborn calmly pulled out a paper. "Ahem: here's my poem: I'M THE KING, you useless fool!" He threw it away. "I'll squash you flat BECAUSE IT'S COOL!" (Play "Baby Bowser 2"!)

Caliborn leapt high and performed a Ground Pound, Cheren dodging as the writing desk was crushed. Caliborn spat a quick Chrono Beam that Cheren blocked, but quickly dodged again when Caliborn did another Ground Pound. Caliborn repeated the attack, and this time Cheren thrusted his sword up to stab his rump. Caliborn fell a few feet away, jumping back up and charging headfirst into Cheren. The boy was pushed off his feet and smashed against a wall, followed by rapid kicks from Caliborn's golden foot.

Caliborn leapt away and charged him again, but Cheren did a Shield Bash to stun the young lord, followed by an overhead SLASH! With that, Caliborn yanked his gold leg off and turned it into a sword, engaging Cheren in combat. The Cherub was quick in his movements, Cheren couldn't drop his guard for a moment. Eventually, the boy performed a Soul Surge, dealing a forceful swing from the top, right, bottom, top-left, bottom-left, right, and 14 other rounds to block Caliborn's sword until it flew out of his hand.

Cheren unleashed the rest of his fury on the boy, with his last swing sending Caliborn flying across the room. (Play "Man of the World" from _Naruto: Shippuden_.)

Caliborn flew across the room, blood flying from his nose. At that very moment… everything turned white, and time grew very slow. The ceiling scrolling past his vision, his body gliding over the floor, at a very low speed. As though his entire existence… was playing through his mind. From just that one hit.

He hit the floor much faster in Cheren's vision. His anger was nowhere near vanished, as he rushed at Caliborn and unleashed his most furious storm of punches. Snarling like a bull, eyes full of pure anger and lust, he punched, punched, punched, punched Caliborn until his knuckles were bloody as his face. "DIE! ! DIE! ! YOU STUPID SHIT, WHY DON'T YOU DIE! GIVE US BACK OUR WORLD! ! LEAVE US ALONE AND **DROP DEAD! !"**

Caliborn had no chance to say anything. He lay there and took all of the abuse. The pain became invisible after about twenty. His consciousness was barely there… only his inner thoughts. _Am I really deserving to be assaulted by a lesser author's worthless creation?! What have I done wrong?! Don't they understand?! I'm… A WRITER! ! It's in my blood to create things! Worlds and characters! Why don't they understand?! Why does everyone else get to have their way? Why am I not allowed to be heard? I… am a creative genius just like them."_

 _"Brother…"_

 _Caliborn looked above him. For the moment, he forgot Cheren's beatings. "Calliope?"_

 _"Caliborn… I'm sorry. There was so much that I should've taught you… but neither of us could understand. We lived such simple lives in our shared body, pretending to know about the worlds outside. We were happy just creating silly characters, conflicts, and morals… but a story is so much more than that. People's lives are so complex. Their struggles never end, and their relationships never stop developing. They are constantly influenced by the very universe around them, and its laws, no matter how complex. After watching everything these children have been through, even I still cannot fully understand. These people, Caliborn… they have true hearts. They have true feelings. Some of them live happily with friends, others live miserable and alone… and this entire experience has taught me much. There is still more that I need to learn. …I wish to do it… with you, Caliborn."_

Returning to reality, Calliope punched Cheren across the room. "Ow! …Eh?!"

Calliope stood over her twin brother, arm extended. "Let's start over again… Caliborn. Let's erase what remains of this Universe, and create worlds that all Universes will admire."

"What are you saying?!" Cheren shouted.

"C…Calliope…" Caliborn cried. "Do you mean it?"

Calliope smiled. "I do… Brother…"

"NO! !" Cheren ran to stop them, but a bright light erupted from where they stood. Through it, Cheren could see two amoebas with single eyes, molding together. Those two eyes began flashing wild neon colors.

The overwhelming power caused the entire castle to tremble. "Something's happening!" Maddy screamed.

"The castle's going to explode!" Aisa sensed. "We have to escape!"

"TOO LATE!" screamed Chimney.

The light engulfed the entire castle, reducing everything to ruin. The members of the IDA and the Thirteen Darknesses curiously gazed at the light. When it all cleared, the Kids Next Door were astonishingly okay, protected by green barriers that gently set them on the ruined ground.

Standing ahead of them was a body of light, the result of the two Cherubs joining together. Its eyes straightened, exposing the 8's. The form that stood before them was Lord English, the adult form they had always known. "So, Calliope and Caliborn… have ALWAYS been joined?!" Cheren realized.

 _Everyone…_ Calliope spoke from the minds of her Seven Lights. _My brother and I are in the process of fusing. In this phase, we are at our weakest. I will do everything I can to restrain us as you battle. This is your final chance… to destroy Lord English, and BRING FORTH THE NEW UNIVERSE!_


	39. May We Give Blessings

**Play "King of the Koopas" from _Paper Mario_!**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-39: May We Give Blessings_**

 _Final boss: Lord English_

Lord English inhaled a deep breath, drawing in the Time Chi around him. **BONG. . .** His goal was to obliterate the army of heroes in one Roar of Time. MaKayla, George, and Miyuki combined their powers and stood their ground against the condensed chi, sending it back to land the first blow against His Lordship. "Didn't he wipe out two galaxies with that same move?" George asked.

"Calliope must really be holding him back." Kayla deduced.

"This is our chance, everyone!" Cheren declared. "Don't hold back! Give him EVERYTHING you have!"

Cheren, Sheila, and Maddy were the first ones to go in, the Time Lord countering Cheren's blade with his golden sword, and when Maddy and Sheila threw powerful punches at his head, Lord English expanded a bubble in attempt to reduce their ages, to which MaKayla channeled her own chi to counter this affect. Lord English punched at Maddy, who dodged back, then both she and Sheila ran at him from the front. Lord English sped his own time to attack them each with separate fists, and Sheila and Maddy had to punch just as fast to combat those fists. Makava and Kimaya stabbed him from behind, but the Life Fibers in English's clothes threw the girls back and sewed themselves.

"Those red strings were the same ones the tailor lady had!" Wendy recognized.

"She must have made that outfit." Charle figured. "This will make it a tad more tricky to damage him."

"Suki, whatever you do, don't stop praying." Miyuki told her sister.

"I won't, Sister-chan!" Suki had encased herself in an ice diamond shield, hands folded.

 _"SUki, the title I gave yoU in the Seven Lights is 'The Believer.' YoU possess the piece of my being that believes anything is possible. If yoU keep believing yoUr friends will win, it will make them stronger. BecaUse that belief stems from my power, it can even penetrate his Logia defenses."_

And strangely enough, the heroes felt a subtle, but strong increase in their strength. Sheila grabbed Maddy, spun around with lightspeed, and hurled the Haki girl with enough force to send English flying across the field. Sunni teleported above him and dropped giant Psycho Spheres, easy for Lord English to Rewind back up, but Sunni dodged them and shot down to impale him in the head with her lightsaber. Anthony used earthbending to lift the entire chunk of field the heroes were on, and Sunni warped away so he could DROP it on Lord English!

Not surprisingly, English blew up through the field and flew above his enemies. He conjured his own chunk of the field and tried to flatten them all, so Wendy and Sunni projected giant shields to block it. "Since WHEN can he EARTHBEND?!" Anthony exclaimed.

"That stone was made of Time Chi!" MaKayla said. "It must be memorybending! He can recreate any attack that he's seen!"

"Well, shoot, he's practically an Avatar!" Melody shouted.

 **"Damn right, you little bitches! And it ain't gonna stop there!"** Lord English made his left fist into Armament Haki and his right fist golden with light. Maddy and Sheila ran to attack again, but English was able to fight them with greater power and knock the girls back. Melody and Wendy healed them, but as Lord English was preparing for a Roar of Time, his body was held in place by Dillon, Lee, and Terry's combined Shadow Possession. Maddy and Sheila punched English upside the head together, then brought their fists down, followed by Nolan York grappling himself over to English for a round of punches.

That's when a SECOND Lord English appeared and knocked them all away, making his golden leg into a machinegun to blast them. MaKayla channeled her chi to use Time Restoration, attempting to banish the Paradox Clone, but when another Lord English tried to attack her, she dodged, then used Time Recordance so two of her would banish the clones. Vweeb hopped his way over to the first English and got under his clothes, attempting to shoot holes into the Life Fibers, but he was forced to quickly dodge the deadly strings. He escaped the clothes as Lord English tried to squash him with his gun-turned-fly-swatter, only for Mocha to pin him on the ground.

Lord English grabbed the giant's arms and flipped her over, but then Aisa ran up to kick him in the crotch, along with Morgiana leg-locking his head and Augustus stabbing him with an Armament sword. Lord English used memorybending to call forth three shadows and pull his assaulters off him. With that, Lord English jumped high in the heavens and conjured two meteor-sized Light Fists. "'EY! That's the attack I used on Big Mum! !" Sheila exclaimed.

"How would Lord English know THAT attack?!" Haruka shouted.

 **"Are you brats STUPID?! I see everything! I KNOW everything! Every attack that you EVER used, I can call to my WHIM!"** The Light Fists were about to crash down upon them. Sheila used her Keyblade to enhance her chi and push the fists back, and then Nebula opened a portal to suck the light in. She finished as Lord English was coming down for a Haki-imbued fire punch, but Nebula opened a new portal and sent ALL the light right back at him!

Lord English went flying back and crashed further away. He didn't stop flying, for he suddenly found himself caught in the current of a tornado, conjured by Wendy and Fybi's bending. Melody contributed a massive amount of water, turning it into a liquid cyclone and drowning the Time Lord. When Fybi generated lightning from her wind, mixed with a similar spell from Wendy, Lord English was electrocuted terribly. Unfortunately, a Paradox Clone appeared behind the girls, riding a tornado from his memorybending and willing lightning to strike down at them.

Nerehc Onu flew in the way of Melody and caught some lightning on his fingertips, redirecting it back at the lord. English simply Rewrote the lightning out of existence, but the lord had to cover his ears when an unbearable sound hit his drums. Sugar was using a Sonic Wave, her voice magnified by Wendy's Sonorus spell. As English's head rumbled painfully, Nerehc was able to charge his own lightning and strike him directly. With him stunned, Nerehc soared up and dealt powerful blows with the Fierce Deity Sword.

Nerehc began to choke just then when the oxygen around him suddenly vanished: Lord English was Remembering Caesar's Airless World, and it seemed everyone in the area was affected. The exception was Death the Kid, the spirit operative slashing English from all directions with his scythe. With the lord distracted, MaKayla Rewound time to restore the oxygen. Arianna stretched brambles up to English, and Wendy enlarged them with magic to create a strong bind for the Cherub. English formed fire from memorybending, but Aurora summoned the flames to her body and saved Ari's plants.

Growing angrier as the plants poked him, English blew a Roar of Time to force Ari to retreat, then he sped time so the brambles would decay. But little did English know that Vweeb had run up the brambles and gotten inside his head, shooting lasers everywhere to make him ache. In his distraction, Mason tossed Kimaya his Green Flurp, and though she couldn't taste the gaseous beverage, it affected her rotting stench all the same. She farted powerful Gas Bombs at English, and Vweeb retreated just in time for them to infect his nostrils.

Lord English turned his scepter into a gun and shot rapid bullets, but Sunni blocked them with a psychic wall, leaving an opening for Kimaya to fart a continuous stream of red gas. Simultaneously, Diwata used moonbending to purify English's senses, making his nose even stronger as the smell overwhelmed him. Because his eyes were purified as well, Index, Hibiki, and Sheila combined their lightbending to create a sun directly in front of English, practically burning his retinas.

A Paradox Clone struck the benders with a golden whip. It was then Chris Uno flew above the Time Lord and fired a Combustion Beam, and English countered it with a Roar of Time. His roar prevailed against the beam, but Aurora skied over to freeze English's head, weakening his breath so that Chris's combustion struck a fearsome blow against him. By the time Lord English could recompose, Maddy dove at him again in her Haki Fury form and GRASPED the left Octogan as tight as she could! _"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!"_ The overwhelming power coursed through her veins. She poured every fiber of her Haki in crushing the gem, but she was blown off regardless.

Lord English gripped his eye, feeling it throbbing. **"You… How DARE you attempt to blind LORD ENGLISH! Such an act of treason against your own god… deserves nothing short of ABSOLUTE SENSELESSNESS!"**

By his will, Maddy was completely blinded and deafened. "I…I can't see or hear anything! !"

"Don't worry, Maddy!" Zach put a curtain over her head. "I'll give you a quick makeover! THERE!" He pulled it off after doing something under it: she had the head of an elephant, and her trunk was a snake. "I've ultra-enhanced your senses with my Snakephant Kit!"

"Just put her eyes and ears back to normal!" Chris shouted.

Lord English tried to crush Maddy with the gold ball-and-chain, but she swiftly dodged. "This actually works! And with my Observation Haki, I can hear all his next moves before he makes them!" Maddy dodged English's attacks with ease, and when Sheila, Mocha, Chris, and Morgiana worked together to hold down the Lord of Time, Maddy dashed at him again to grab the Octogan. Power coursed through and overpowered her again, blasting Maddy off. "Ugh! I don't understand! Calliope said that Conqueror's Haki could crush the Octogan."

"There's more to it than that." A familiar voice said.

Maddy turned and looked up in shock: a muscular, brown-haired man stood over her. "K…King Andrew?!"

"Where did he come from?!" Cheren asked.

"I went back in time to tell myself to hide him in an Infi-Cube." Nebula replied. "Calliope instructed me to."

 _"You need to tell us these things!"_

"That's because only my Haki can destroy the Octogan." Andrew said. "Because I spent such a long time bonding with it. I'm not sure how you plan to destroy the other one… but I'll do my part!"

 **"Not that pratass frying pan dick that played with my eye!"** Lord English yelled. **"Let's see you take it when it's WAY UP HERE!"** Lord English saw Kaleo's growth with his memorybending and grew to giant size.

"Oh, that's JUST what we need!" Melody complained.

"Not to worry!" beamed Zach. "I can bring him down like an egg in a fairytale! Say hello to Super Fist o'… BIG BOOTY JUDY ATTACK! !" Zach's gluteus maximus puffed like a balloon.

"GO GET 'IM, ZACHYYYY!" Maddy would not waste energy getting annoyed anymore.

"YAAAAAAAAHHH-!" Zach flew at English like a rocket, the god raising a single pointed finger. Zach's rear, and the whole of his body after it, were pierced. The tip of English's finger was red. The army of kids couldn't mask their horror and grief... the first warrior has fallen. (End song.)

 _"ZAAAAAAACH! . . ."_

 **Funerary home**

Tears shed from all of them. It was hard to find a coffin big enough to fit his deflated inflated behind. For the rest of their lives, a hole would exist in their hearts-

 _"GRANDMA got run over by a reindeer!"_ A team of animatronic monkeys in Arabian clothing and forcibly stretched, clenched jaws were singing in unison. _"Walking home from our house Christmas Eve."_

"It was his final wish!" Maddy wept, holding onto Chris. Everyone who'd attended were drinking super-swirlies with the most overly complex crazy straws ever.

"It cracks me up so much!" Chris cried with a waterfall of tears.

 _"Now YOU can say there's no such thing as Santa! But as for me and Grandpa, we believe."_

 **"BROOOOOO hahahaha!"** Lord English was cramped in a tight corner. To think such a powerful colossus could fit in one measly corner of an average-size funeral home. **"The song about the retarded human grandma is an excellent touch! Please, give more clarification on her origins for such idiocy!"**

 _"She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog."_

 **"HOOHOOHAHAAA! I THOUGHT something of the like!"**

 _"And we'd begged her not to go."_

 **"BAAAH! I bet she did something typical of a human with a brain condition, like leave some pathetic human medication."**

 _"But she'd left her medication."_

 **"HOOOOOO HAHAHAHA!"** The god clapped, screamed, and banged the floor like a child, shaking the planet. **"I KNEW IT, I KNEW IIIIIT!"**

 _"So she stumbled out the door into the snow."_

 **"Yes, yes. This plot is enticing. You have drawn my attention and have made me eager to know more on the fate of this deer-run grandma."**

The robotic monkeys seemed to look at him, still dancing synchronized. Suddenly the scene changed to an Arabian town, atop a very long hill street. Lord English was rapidly rolling down like a barrel, the monkeys balancing on him as their fast singing went synchronized with him hitting barrels and painful objects.

 _Didn't-see-it-comin'-with-that dang old DEER_

 _Nothin'-worse-than-bein'-hit-by-a dang old DEER_

 _Gonna file-a-lawsuit-with-that dang old DEER_

 _Ah, hi: hu, ham: da doing doing doing doing_

English flipped ceaselessly once at the bottom, his head smashing through a wall as birds circled his face.

"He's dizzy!" Zach shouted. "Now's your chance!"

King Andrew bolted up to the fallen giant and grabbed the Octogan in both hands. _"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"_ It was much like when Cheren and his friends held the invincible gem. Except now, the Octogan was cracking, as was Andrew's body. _"AAAAAGGGH! Ch…Ch…CHEREN! I don't know… where I'll end up… after I die! RRRRRRRGGGGH! But… promise me… you'll look after the Kids Next Door… and take them… TO THE NEW… WOOOOORRRRRLLLLLLD! ! !"_

The explosion was so great that it blew everyone miles across the field. As they all viewed in Lord English's direction, smoke clouded the area. They were heavily expecting His Lordship to attack at any moment. "Andrew…" Cheren sighed. "…Don't worry… I will…"

It was soon after that the smoke cleared away. Lord English was standing with a single Octogan, and the socket where the other one had been was still blinking neon. **"Brooo ha ha ha ha ha…"** The ground trembled and suddenly broke apart as everyone fell into a realm of MS Paint.

"Sister-chan-!" Suki exclaimed, just as Sunni used a psychic platform to lift her up.

"SUKI, KEEP PRAYING!" Miyuki shouted. Suki quickly went back to her duty, not letting her worries overcome her.

The kids all landed on separate footholds, gazing around the floating city of MS Paint. **"New World? PAH! The only world THESE vermin belong to is the WORLD OF TRASH! And there is no way better than for you to be CRUSHED… by _MY FANTASIA_! !"** (Play "Final Battle" from _Mario Galaxy 2_!)

 _Phase 2: His Lordship's Fantasia_

"EVERYONE, LOOK OUT!" Cheren screamed.

Gigantic, hideously-drawn structures all came crashing down, yet before they could react, multiple forces flew in and destroyed them. "Huh?! YOU GUYS!" Sunni exclaimed.

"Seems like a pitiful way to die." Zeref said as the Darknesses stood their ground.

"ZE HA HA! How 'bout you let US lead the way!" Blackbeard chortled.

"Sounds good to me!" April declared, twirling her Keyblade. "How about a little Art vs. Art?!"

Everyone bravely jumped the platforms and raced forward, the Darknesses using their superb strength to destroy any incoming obstacles. April drew painted wings to fly, and Kodama unleashed fireworks that April would paint, flying while Nebula warped them all the way to Lord English to deal some damage. Lord English **ROARED** as a giant merry-go-round with disconnected sticks on the poorly-drawn horses sprung up and caught them all. It was spinning so fast and rotating multiple directions.

Lord English came flying like a meteor, knowing none of them would see him coming, but Maddy's senses were incomparable. "MAKAYLA, SLOW TIME DOWN!"

MaKayla slowed everything down, so they all could see Lord English. Sheila ran up, grabbed Maddy, and spun with lightspeed before hurdling her up and landing a fearsome blow into the giant's empty socket. The merry-go-round stopped and sent everyone flying off. They landed on separate footholds again; Chris fired Combustion Beams, Anthony threw chunks of Permanite, and Sheila conjured giant Light Spheres. After all attacks struck the Time Lord, Lord English created a giant pink sphere around himself.

"IT'S A PROTEGO!" Charle shouted. "That dirty, rotten CHEATER! …Uh, no offense, Wendy."

"Don't worry, Mom! I can break it EASY!" Wendy made some quick, complex wand movements and cast Evenstar, a sphere of darkness that exploded and DESTROYED Lord English's protection. Nerehc and Death the Kid flew in to attack him with their powerful blades, and Fybi borrowed Cheren's Light Arrows to shoot them at her leader, who would use the Mirror Shield to amplify and bounce them back at Lord English.

Dillon borrowed the shadows of his friends to grow gigantic and wrap his massive shadow around Lord English. At the same time, Mocha ate a red Skypian Apple and Ururu turned giant with her Tiny Devil, throwing furious punches at the restrained Time Lord. Lord English angrily Rewinded them, then he morphed his weapon into a golden whip. He grabbed more painted structures and hurled them at his foes, but George would Stop them in time, April would paint large images of the sectors attacking, then she would use them to hit the structures straight back at English, the images becoming real as he suffered terrific damage.

Blackbeard came hurdling down like a meteor, striking English's skull with a Tremor Fist. At the same time, Thanos blasted up from below and dealt a powerful uppercut to English's chin, both forces practically compressing his head like a pancake. Jessie combined his Keyblade with Kimaya's and blew gigantic gas bubbles. The poisonbender had them fly at English, and Chris shot them with Combustion Beams to have them explode around the lord.

However, English defended himself at the last second by forming MS Paint clones of himself. He used memorybending to recreate the gas bubbles and attempt to explode them over the kids, but it was then a massive gush of water began to wash away his painted shield. Davy Jones was responsible, but English countered the attack by Rewinding time and restoring his shield. This Rewind was unfortunately countered by MaKayla's bending, his shield washing away, and Kimaya sent the gas bubbles at him again and successfully exploded the lord.

The smoke was suddenly compressed to a single point and vanished, for it was slurped into a black hole. The hole opened above Sector V, so Chris and Mason combined their bending to hold it back. However, the boys were suddenly sucked into a dark void that took up the floor—it was Blackbeard's darkness, created from memorybending. Thankfully, Zach Murphy used the Gothic Fishing Attack, where he dressed like Dillon York, sat on a wheelchair boat, and held a fishing rod in the darkness.

"Hey, if you're gonna make fun of me, at least leave out the wheelchair!" Dillon shouted.

Anthony and the Earth Children hurdled gigantic forms of their elements up at Lord English, but by Remembering matterbending, he dispersed the elements into tiny particles. While he was at it, he Rewrote Anthony and Shelly to shrink down, but he was then forced to cry when Harvey made him Sad. Nebula resized Anthony and Shelly while Kayla reformed their elements, allowing them to complete the attack.

 **"BROOOOOOAAAAARRRR!"** Lord English channeled a massive surge of Time Chi and unleashed twenty Roars of Time that flew in multiple directions, causing mass chaos for everyone. The timebenders immediately headed to protect Suki from the chaos, but everyone else was gravely injured by the Storm of Time. Wendy cast healing charms on Cheren, Nebula, Sheila, and Maddy, then headed to fix everyone else.

"Grrrr… we have to destroy the second Octogan." Cheren grunted. "But how? Who do we have that's powerful enough?"

 **"ONE MORE BLAST SHOULD FINISH YOU-!"** Lord English could not finish as ten giant Psycho Spheres struck him in the head.

"You didn't forget us, did you?" Negatar Gnaa asked as he and Aang landed beside them. "I WANTED to attack sooner, but Aang was all, 'Wait and listen'!"

"There was no need to waste our energy too soon." Aang said. "Lord English still has plenty of power to spare, but he should be just about weak enough. Gnaa… let us Collide!"

Both Avatars went into their Avatar States, and combined their very beings. Glowing with the divine powers Arceus bestowed unto them, the Kingdom Elements summoned the legendary χ-blade. The Avatar Fusion flew toward Lord English, using all elements at their behest to counter the debris and his Memorized elements. Lord English fired a Combustion Beam from his memory, but the Avatar dodged with a teleport, appearing above English and striking the χ-blade against his skull.

Kingdom Elements focused their attacks on the Octogan, and Lord English was wincing from the pain. No doubt the most powerful Keyblade was actually damaging him. But it wasn't enough as Lord English summoned Acid Rain from his memory, followed by a swarm of Shadow Demons to attack the Collision all at once. The Kids Next Door all continued to throw attacks at him, but English conjured another Protego. Even if Wendy could dismantle it in time, Lord English was preparing for another devastating Storm of Time. **"SOOOO LOOOOOONG!"**

Lord English dropped his shield and put everything in this final attack. This Storm of Time would surely spell the end for the heroes once it left His Lordship's godly mouth—had it not been for a gigantic Cheren Uno, who had donned the Giant's Mask and absorbed every last bit of English's power into his gigantified Mirror Shield. The power was so intense that the boy feared his shield would actually shatter, but against impossible odds, the last bit of power made it inside. And where else for it to go but STRAIGHT BACK at the source, giving Lord English a taste of his own medicine in the worst way possible!

The attack was so extreme that it burned off Lord English's Life Fibers and severed his left arm. And even though Lord English survived the encounter, he was too injured to move, so Kingdom Elements poured every ounce of chi into their χ-blade to IMPALE his remaining Octogan. Energy surged through the weapon as the eyeball was cracking. **_"BRRROOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRGGGH!"_**

An explosion even greater than the last erupted and reduced the Fantasia to ruin. Lord English was collapsed, naked on the ground (save for shorts, thank God), and Aang and Gnaa seemed to have vanish. Unbeknownst to the operatives, the Avatars had teleported miles away, terribly exhausted by the encounter and lying nearly dead on the ground. (End song.)

Cheren's Giant Mask wore off, shrinking the boy down to normal size. "Phew! Thanks for the Rumble Ball!" he said to Vriska.

"I always keep a few, just in c8se!" ::::) Vriska held three of the balls in her fingers.

Again, the field had fell to quiet. Very cautiously, the Kids Next Door approached the fallen form of the powerful lord. Both his sockets were now empty, and in any moment, they expected the Universe Frog to explode and finish the job. . . . . Swiftly, Lord English sat up and GRABBED Cheren with his right hand! **"Brooo ha ha ha ha ha…!"** Another Octogan sprung open on his forehead. **"BRAAAARRRRGGH!"** He exterminated Sectors SA and KB with a Roar of Time before getting to his foot and peg-leg.

 **"Pathetic, insolent VERMIN!"** He crushed the GKND and Sector JP with a time rift. **"You thought you could DEFEAT ME! ME, your Supreme GOD!"** He zapped Sector W7 and W with a Memorized lightning strike. **"You think your pathetic STRENGTH and FRIENDSHIP would be able to defeat me… yet, the only reason you survived was because it was MY INTENTION!"** Squeezing Cheren hard, Lord English began to stomp around the remaining operatives. **"Those gray-skinned blobs, your battles, your friendships…"** Karkat shot him a deadly glare, **"all of it was organized by ME and ME ALONE! EVERYTHING IN THIS BLASTED UNIVERSE! Now show your respect and BOW TO ME! BOW or I shall make your friends BEG for non-existence!"**

"YOU'RE WRONG! !" Cheren screamed bravely. "This is NOT your universe! This is OUR UNIVERSE! ! We protected it… We won all of our battles… We made a happy place for kids and adults everywhere… We are the KIDS NEXT DOOR! And as long as villainous scum like you are out there… we will NEVER END! YOU WILL _NEVER_ BE WELCOME HERE!"

 **"Broo ha ha ha ha…!"** Lord English leaned closer, his one eye and two flashing sockets glaring evilly. **"WHAT Kids Next Door? Your friends have all been exterminated! And now, you will join them."**

"Pardon me, but you seem to be mistaken." Sōsuke Aizen said. "You think Cheren's friends are all dead?"

 **"?!"** When Aizen's illusion disappeared, Lord English realized that he hadn't killed a single operative. Sector SA, KB, W7, GKND, and all the others were still alive. **"B…But…"**

"'Guess that's the signal!" Kimaya whipped out her Keyblades. "CHAIN OF HEARTS!" Her blades turned pink and linked everyone's hearts into a chain: she linked with Django, who linked with Dillon, who linked with Sector V; Chris linked with Maddy, who linked with Mocha, who linked Sector W7; Aisa linked with Morgiana, who linked SA, and soon everyone joined in the chain. They also linked with the Inferi in the distance, and the souls of their departed loved ones, and all the chains linked with Cheren Uno as their core.

"YAH! !" Cheren SLICED Lord English's arm and escaped.

"Incredible!" Goombella exclaimed. "With the energy from the Chain of Hearts, combined with Suki's Belief, everyone's Power Levels have risen over 20,000!"

"You must mean the STRONG members, right?" Aranea inquired.

"No! I mean ALL of us! As for the people you're thinking of, their levels are roughly 40,000!"

 _"ARE YOU FLIPPIN' SERIOUS?! ?"_

"And the Seven Lights seem to channel more of this power. Their Power Levels are assumedly… 50,000 and counting."

Cheren Uno was levitating thanks to this newfound power, and all the Seven Lights were by his side. "Seven Lights… As Supreme Leader, I order you to DESTROY THE ENGLISH!" (Play "What I'm Made Of" from _Sonic Heroes_!)

 _Final Phase: His Lordship's Final Stroke_

Lord English leapt up into a gigantic rift in time, pursued by the eight heroes. His golden peg became a supercannon that fired massive energy spheres, which Cheren hit back with the Master Sword. _"Master, despite its formidable appearance, this Octogan feels substantially weaker than the previous two. If enough damage is inflicted upon it, there is a 5% chance Lord English will survive."_

"I'll take that over a 95!" As they continued chasing, Lord English created walls of ice from his memory, but Suki happily skied in the air and pierced through them all. Cheren readied a Light Arrow, and Sheila hopped on it with Light Feet, riding the arrow all the way up to His Lordship's eye. Lord English froze Sheila in time, but a few notes from Cheren's ocarina would set her free, and the quick journey ended in the Octogan's pupil. Sheila spun giant Light Fists and pounded English left and right, until the lord turned his cannon into a gold punching glove to blast her away.

Jessie caught Sheila on a bubble, and she regained herself as they all flew faster to keep up with him. April cast a beam from her Keyblade to draw Rainbow Rings ahead of them, increasing their speed bit by bit. Lord English breathed and fired a Roar of Time, and April painted a giant spring to send it flying back. During the time Lord English was stunned, Jessie flew up and blew rapid Sleep Bubbles on his left leg, putting it to sleep. He then flew up to put a Sleep Bubble over his skull, and while this did make him nod off for a moment, he easily popped the bubble and swatted Jessie away. However, Lord English didn't feel that the base of his sleeping leg was being frozen by Suki, who snapped it clean off once the chance was golden.

Lord English had only his right arm to wield his golden weapon. He slashed his blade powerfully as Cheren clashed with it. For one moment, Cheren's and Lord English's pushed with equal force. **"You and your kind… are nothing more than wasted ideas from a useless god… Against someone as brilliant and invincible as I am… what do you possibly have?!"**

"Development." Cheren whacked the sword away. During that second-long gap, Sheila was riding Fybi, conducting a Chi Unison to make her fly with lightspeed, and Fybi spun to stab a Lightning-Tornado Keyblade into his Octogan. She kicked off, fired an arrow at the eye, and Sheila helped the wound fester by punching it with a Light Fist. Lord English created Space Blocks from his memory to hold them back, but by painting portals, April could allow her friends to pass them.

"Zach, slow him down!" Cheren ordered.

"I was hoping you'd ask! Super Fist of The Fool: Pretty Girls On A Stick!" Zach whipped out giant popsicle sticks with Nagisa and Carol on them, wearing pretty dresses.

 **"OOOOOOO!"** His Octogan turned into a beating heart. Lord English stopped flying and stared closely at them. **"You are clearly the closest non-lesbian friends that girls could ask for! Please, smile and wave to each other like friends do!"**

"Uh… Hello, Carol! Nice day today!" Nagisa blushed.

"Hi, Nagisa! Wanna go hold hands with boys?"

 **"OOOOORRRRGH! If Nagisa says yes, I will absolutely lose it!"**

"Hmmm… I need to think about it…"

 **"SAY 'YES,' STUPID NAGISA! ! I AM LORD ENGLISH AND I COMMAND YOU TO SATISFY ME! !"**

"Up yo' butt, they will." Kimaya said.

Lord English had been binded in the Chain of Hearts. Wendy had freed the spirits of the Inferi with her Fairy's Tail, and those spirits served as the links to hold His Lordship in place. The eight heroes formed a circle and soared above him. With Eight Keyblades and the Master Sword at the ready, they flew in for the final strike. "Kids Next Door…" Cheren's words were heard by everyone. "It is with proud honor that I present to you… _THE NEW UNIVERSE! !"_

The Master Sword, seven Keyblades, and, "I traded mine for a pebble!" Zach said. Each were impaled into the Octogan. Kimaya brought everyone up with the Chain of Hearts, so each and every operative could give Lord English their final blessing. Water, Earth, Fire, Air, Poison, Shadow, Psychic, Emotion, Music, Light, Darkness, Space, Time, and Energy… just as they always have, these elements would combine and give birth to a New Universe.

 ** _"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. . . . . ."_**

"Wow. . ." Aizen's soul was touched by the magnificent beauty.

"How amazing…" Zeref could not restrain his love for it.

"You don't see that every day…" said Zedekiah, the IDA's screen going white.

Tears dripped from The Chronicler's ancient eyes. "Friends… Viewers… may we give our blessings to… the New Universe…"

And Lord English's final cry was silenced. His body was ruptured by the beauty growing within him. Billions and billions of stars graced the cosmos with their light. Those stars would develop planets, and those planets would all develop life. Creatures big and small, speaking many languages and forming unique and diverse cultures on more planets than one could ever hope to visit. It all started with a Big Bang.

 _"By the way… Karkat. There is something… I MMeant to tell you."_

 _"YEAH? WHAT IS IT?"_

 _"…I MMet… the human race. …Oh, and a bunch of other aliens, too."_


	40. The Law of all Worlds

**A big thanks to IDA and Ohaymikoto for reviewing this story. Play "Memory 4" from _Super Paper Mario_.**

* * *

 ** _Chapter F-40: The Law of all Worlds_**

After combat too exhausting for their mortal bodies… chaos too intense to warrant any kind of peace… now there was quiet. Cheren was first to awake. He stared up at a gray space with countless bubbles displaying scenes.

 **"I do not understand…"**

Cheren gasped and whipped around. Lord English was there… yet, there was a calm demeanor about him. **"You were all nothing but… mere creations. You were no different… from mine or Calliope's ideas. It would have taken a simple stroke of the eraser or 'Delete' button to be rid of you. So, why…why did you survive…"**

"BecaUse, Caliborn…" Cheren turned once more to find Calliope behind him. "No matter how good we thoUght we were… there was always something we were lacking." She slowly approached her brother. "I Understand… the way all of their hearts linked together with Cheren's… it was a power that no god or creation can live withoUt. It was what all of oUr ideas lacked." She put a hand on her brother's chest. "Heart…"

 **"…Heart…"** Lord English closed his eyes. **"…What is Heart… can you tell me that… Calliope…"**

"A heart… is what yoU and I share…"

Both their souls glowed bright.

When Cheren reopened his eyes, he was on a boat, drifting along a floating river. The river in question looked like a giant strip of film. There were hundreds of other boats, and each contained all his fellow operatives. When they awoke, they were just as confused as he was. "W…What is this place?"

"It's… the River of Time." MaKayla answered quietly.

 _With no place for your departed souls to float to… you were brought here._

"That voice." April said. "Calliope…"

 _Heroes of this dimension… the Kids Next Door… My friends. Lord English, the being that rewrote the universe, destroyed countless multiverses… has been destroyed. The Twenty Keys Prophecy, which had been a trillion years in the making, has come to an end._

"Are you serious?!" Maddy exclaimed. "It's over?!"

 _Yes. Now, as my essence fades from the bodies of the Seven Lights, your universe is slowly being reborn. What you see before you is the New Universe's timeline. Countless stories and events unfurling their selves. And should you choose to enter one of these times, that is where you will be reborn._

"I bet you Augustus wants to be reborn in the dinosaur age!" Rallo joked.

"Your only line in the story and THAT'S what it is?" Augustus remarked.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I want to be reborn in MY era." Cheren stated. "But… when we get reborn… what happens? Do we… forget…?"

 _You will have a choice, but it is a choice you all will have to agree on. You can choose to remain on this river, and watch different versions of yourselves be born in this universe. Or you can take their place, and you will remember everything that has happened in your former universe. But as a result of this reincarnation, everyone will remember everything that has happened… and everything else that had happened, except the destruction of the universe, will remain the same. This means… the people you have lost will not return._

"So, my parents… Danny… and anyone else… they'll still be dead?" Cheren asked, saddened.

 _That is correct._

"Hm… well, guys, what do you think we should do?" Cheren asked.

There was a moment of silence. "I…I would like Mom to come back…" Sunni said. "But I don't want to forget."

"Me either." Maddy followed. "We've been through so much together. We HAVE to remember!"

"Yeh. This just proves that life is important." Sheila stated. "That's why we have to have as many adventures as possible… and remember to live!"

"I don't wanna forget all the new friends I made." Mary said.

"And if something like this ever happened again… we'll be ready." Aurora said.

"Besides, we can always visit our loved ones in the Spirit World." George said casually.

"Then it's decided." Cheren concluded. "We're the ones who made this New World… we're going to live in it!"

 _Hm hm hm! I knew you would. All of you… are such amazing people. I suppose my only regret… is not being able to join you on your adventures._

"Are you sure?" Cheren asked. "Is there really no way for you to join us?"

 _I suppose there could be… but I couldn't. For the sake of the universe, my brother and I should not be allowed to exist. Even if we could, we have done too much destruction. We could never redeem ourselves. But hopefully… the two of us will end up in our_ own _Spirit World. Hopefully… we can continue to watch the passing of worlds… and live together… happily. Why… I can feel him now. The chaos in his heart is nesting. I don't believe I've ever seen him feel this way before._

"It's the Balance of Light and Darkness." Negatar Gnaa said from his own boat. "No matter how great the darkness grows, the light will return to put it to rest. It is the law that all worlds have. Of course… that means the darkness will eventually return."

"LORD GNAA! !" Cheren exclaimed. "If you're here, then… were you alive, too?!"

"Of course! Aang and I teleported just before the Octogan exploded! Keep in mind we had no energy to spare afterwards… but now that we're going to the New World, there's someone I want to see again."

 _Indeed… no matter how wonderful the peace, people will never stop struggling. But, if people continue to struggle, they will no doubt succeed. That is the Law That Defines All Worlds… and that law was how you were able to succeed. Kids Next Door… I pray that you will continue to live… and your struggles will continue to bring light to the universe. Just as you have brought life to us. Farewell… Kids Next Door… Seven Lights… I will never forget you…_

A heavenly light awaited them at the end of the river. "Well… there it is…" Cheren spoke, not even squinting his eyes at it.

"Our New World…" Maddy smiled.

"The one we worked so hard to build…" April stared.

"Our new adventure…" Sheila smiled.

Cheren smirked. "I can't wait."

They sailed beyond the gate… and from there, brand new adventures awaited.

 _"Caliborn… I'm sorry I was sUch a bad sister."_

 _"Calliope… I'm sorry… I was such a bad writer."_

 _"No, Brother… it was a faUlt we both shared. BUt now that we have met them… we can create new worlds… more beaUtifUl than we ever dreamed. And we'll make them… together…"_

 _"Yeah… and this time… we won't hurt anybody…"_

The IDA flipped through their images of the multiverse like a book. The Grand Line, Beach City, Foster's Home, the Arabian Nights, not a single shred of Lord English or The Thirteen was found. The people went back to their peaceful lives as if nothing had happened. (Play "Credits" from _Zelda: Twilight Princess_.)

"Phew… it's really over…" Zedekiah said. "Well, Ford, I guess you can go back to your world, now."

"Sorry, I'm going to the Escalator Dimension with Bo-bobo!" Ford was wearing escalator merchandise. He ran off in a hurry.

"Sigh… I knew he was gonna make use of the Multi-Passport we gave him."

* * *

 ** _Seven Lights: The Last_** **: Cast:**

 **Sharon Mann as _Cheren Uno_ and _Nerehc Onu_**

 **Jennifer Hale as _Panini Drilovsky_ , _Fybi Fulbright_ , and _Emily Garley_**

 **Tom Kenny as _Zach Murphy_ and _Augustus Fizzuras_**

 **Christine Marie Cabanos as _Mako Mankanshoku_**

Princess Anna rebuilt Arendelle and steadily drew people in to make the kingdom anew. She looked up in the sky at Jack and Elsa's spirits, holding hands as they danced.

 **Dee Bradley Baker as _Terry Stork_ and _Revan Bane Sidious_**

 **Lauren Tom as _Suki Crystal_ , _Vanellope Schweetz_ , _Terezi Pyrope_ , _Latula Pyrope_ , and _Lola Stork_**

 **Melissa Fahn as _Miyuki Crystal_**

Freddy's Pizzeria continued to be a bustling restaurant chain, with Don Quixote Doflamingo Jr. funding its progress. Kids would look up at Freddy's towering idol and smile. **_"AAAAAIIIIEEE!"_** Freddy Fazbear jumped at the screen to maim the reader.

 **Tara Strong as _Sheila Frantic_ , _Anthony McKenzie_ , _Melody Jackson_ , _Original Melody_ , _Maddy Murphy_ , and _Makava_**

 **Kerry Williams as _Haruka Dimalanta_ , _Carol Masterson_ , and _Jirachi_**

The members of Hivebent started their own Kids Next Door, with Karkat as the Supreme Leader. Nebula was quick to sign an alliance with them, and together they would make Kids Next Doors on the other New Galaxian worlds.

 **Greg Cipes as _Dillon York_**

 **Jensen Ackles as _Nolan York_**

Nolan and Dillon received a hug from Danika upon their return. Nolan rolled up to their bedroom and had himself a well-deserved rest. Yet, his slumber was constantly plagued by a psychotic laughter in his head…

 **Zoe Slusar as _Mason Dimalanta_**

 **Rachael MacFarlane as _Aurora Uno_**

 **Ogie Banks as _Chris Uno_**

 **Amy Birnbaum as _Arianna Dunfree_ , _Cosmo_ , and _Hylia_**

 **Rickey Collins as _Vweeb_ and _Danny Jackson_**

 **Akiko Koumoto as _Nebula D. Winkiebottom_ and _Midna_**

Wendy Marvell arrived home one day, and was immediately berated by her mother for being late. As punishment, Wendy was ordered to clean the kitchen without magic. As she did so, Wendy and Charle shared a smile with each other.

 **Brittney Karbowski as _Wendy Marvell_ , _Apis_ , _Sipa_ , and _Mocha_**

 **Jad Saxton as _Charle_**

 **Cherami Leigh as _April Goldenweek_ , _Don Quixote Sugar_ , and _Road Kamelot_**

MaKayla King became the new Clockwork, and with help from Arceus and Dialga, the Gate to New Galaxia was allowed to remain open! People from both universes could travel back-and-forth freely as they pleased. The voyage only took three minutes, and due to Lord English's destruction, neither universe leaked harm and chaos into the other.

 **MaKayla Rogers as _MaKayla King_ , _Aranea Fulbright_ , and _Haylee Gilligan_**

 **Ben Diskin as _Artie Gilligan_ , _Joseph Joestar_ , _Nigel Uno_ , and _Young Xehanort_**

 **Lindsay Jones as _Diwata Uno_ and _Ruby Rose_**

 **Grey DeLisle as _Chimney Ukeru_**

 **Alyson Leigh Rosenfeld as _Aeincha_**

 **Lindsay Seidel as _Nagisa Shiota_**

 **Cristina Vee as _Morgiana_**

 **Kate Higgins as _Karin Kurosaki_**

 **Janice Kawaye as _Yuzu Kurosaki_ , _Harvey Harper_ , and _Sally Harper_**

With money borrowed from her cousin, Ib, April Goldenweek bought the Guertena Gallery. Reconstructions were done to include each and every hidden work of art. To top it all off, the paintings were allowed to free roam in the main gallery, interacting with all the excited and curious kids and adults. The Canvas Ladies and Headless Statues no longer attacked them. Some gathered around Mary as she told her exciting story.

 **Hynden Walch as _Mary_ and _Viridi_**

 **Kari Wahlgren as _Vriska Serket_ and _Phosphora_**

 **Yu Shimamura as _Fi_**

 **Ali Hillis as _Palutena_**

 **Cree Summer as _Medusa_**

 **Haley Joel Osment as _Sora_**

 **Emma Mason as _Kimaya Heartly_**

Kimaya joyfully touched soda cans with Django and Kaleo as they partied with demons on a dark ship under a dark sky. Captain Mandy boredly sat on her throne, silently irritated by their loud antics.

Elsewhere, Kami sighed in shame for her undead daughter. A reptilian hand patted her shoulder: it was King K. Rool. "Fear not, my dear… we will find a way to restore your daughter's flesh. Now… I must go. Watch the throne room for me, my new subordinate." The king stood and left the room.

 **Aaron Spann as _Zanifr Mimchi_ and _Kankri Vantas_**

 **J.K. Simmons as _Stanford Pines_**

 **Scott Burns as _Lord English_**

 **Alex Hirsch as _Bill Cipher_**

 **Rob Paulsen as _Dimentio_ and _Jessie Sidney_**

Team Gnaa was in the meeting room at Hideout Helm. They looked down the hall when they heard footsteps. Giovanni, Jessie, James, and Meowth arrived. "Oh ho ho ho!" Eggman laughed. "I can't believe you survived!"

"We tried to keep our distance from those monsters." Giovanni replied. "I am surprised I was able to gain Lord English's trust… I'm sure the all-knowing must have known all along: while those foolish Darknesses were fighting to have the worlds of their dreams, I was making some REAL progress! Isn't that right… Majora?"

Majora was boredly sitting at the chair that once belonged to Ganon. "MM-hm."

"I never had doubt that the Kids Next Door could defeat Lord English." King K. Rool said. "You'll have to fill me in on the exciting details later. …I suppose you have confirmed our suspicions?"

"Yes." Giovanni smirked, presenting a notebook. "Ever since the arrival of Crest, and not to mention Diancie… I always knew there would be more. And I have found them!" He slapped the notebook on the table. "The New Firstborn!"

 **Jane Lynch as _Yellow Diamond_**

 **Leonard Nimoy as _Xehanort_ (R.I.P.)**

 **Cole Brown as _Marshall D. Teach_ (R.I.P.)**

 **Bill Nighy as _Davy Jones_**

 **Josh Brolin as _Thanos_**

 **Hironori Miyata as _Ganondorf Dragmire_**

The sun rose in Madotsuki's room. She looked to the bright doorway, where a silhouetted man extended a hand. Madotsuki took it and walked outside with him, a shadowed woman, and another shadowed girl.

 **Joel McDonald as _Zeref_**

 **Kyle Hebert as _Sōsuke Aizen_**

 **Neil Kaplan as _Madara Uchiha_**

 **David Lodge as _Czar Baldy Bald III_**

Candied Island had been a peaceful place since the fall of the World Government… but over the mountains, a colossus was seen. A certain candy-crazed giant had returned from the grave.

 **Ted Lewis as _Truman Kirman_ and _Giovanni_**

 **Ralph Fiennes as _Voldemort_**

 **Dan Green as _Vaati_**

 **Patrick Seitz as _Dio Brando_**

 **George Newbern as _Sephiroth_**

 **Jason Liebrecht as _Millennium Earl_**

 **Neil Ross as _Grandfather_**

 **Laura Post as _Ragyō Kiryūin_**

 **Kalin Coates as _Esdeath_**

 **Matt Hoverman as _Dark Oak_**

 **Jason Marsden as _Andrew Johnson_**

 **Mark Hamill as _Caesar Clown_ and _Joker_**

 **Colleen Clickenbeard as _Monkey D. Luffy_**

 **Richard Epcar as _Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo_ and _Jojojo-jo Jo-jojo_ (lol not really, couldn't resist X))**

 **Todd Haberkorn as _Natsu Dragneel_ and _Allen Walker_**

 **Leah Clark as _Calliope_ and _Mavis Vermillion_**

"CUT THE _ZELDA_ MUSIC!" Meloetta shouted. "WE'RE PARTYING _SHREK_ STYLE!" (Play "I'm a Believer" by Smash Mouth!)

 _"I thought love was only true in FAIRY tales!"_ The Fairy Sisters were singing onstage. People from around the universe were here at Coruscant to celebrate the greatest victory ever.

 _"Meant for someone else, but not for me!"_ Cheren danced with Panini, Anthony with Fybi, Mason with Sheila—you handle the rest!

 _"Love was out to get to me. That's the way it seems."_ Penelope Mousse tapped Augustus's shoulder. He turned around, smiled, and Penelope was immediately tackled by an older Nel.

 _"Disappointment haunted all my dreeeeams…"_ Lee Andrew saw Wendy dancing with Romeo and looked down in sadness.

 _"And then I saw her FACE!"_ Don Quixote Sugar sprung up on stage in revealing dancer's clothes. Hearts popped out of many boys' eyes.

 _"Now I'M a believer!"_ Caesar Clown shot fireworks up in the sky, soaring above the dancing Brotherhood members.

 _"Not a trace…"_ Vweeb was dancing in a circle consisting of Morgiana, Aisa, Kodama, Maddy, and MaKayla. Aisa sensed the little perv and kicked him away.

 _"Of doubt in my mind!"_ Aeincha was clipping Carol and Goombella's hair. _"Waaaah!"_ Vweeb flew over them.

 _"I'm in love (ooooo) I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried…"_ Haruka tapped Lee's shoulder and extended a hand. Lee smiled and began to dance with her.

Lola was about to eat some Jell-O blood, when Vweeb bounced off it. She paused briefly, and Rawberry seized the chance to EAT the Jell-O.

 _"I thought love was more or less a given thing."_ Tamatoa was strutting his shiny stuff as the Hivebent crew was dancing on it.

 _"But the more I gave, the less I got, oh yeah…"_ People left some room for Mocha and Kaleo to share a dance. Mocha's giant friends cheered for her.

 _"What's the use in trying?"_ Nickel Joe was riding a Fat Jack balloon and throwing lollipops down for all the Gallagher kids. The Baby Trio scared them off with their powers and stole the candy.

 _"All you get is pain."_ Phosphora ignited the sky with her Lightning Chariot.

 _"When I wanted sunshine, I got rain…"_ The Firstborn glowed and made a star. Crest was trying to float close to Midna, who was annoyed.

 _"And then I saw her FACE!"_ Sugar twirled, caught Vweeb between her toes, and tossed him into the audience!

 _"Now I'M a believer!"_ Chimney, Index, and Yosafire were scoffing down lots of food at the table. Vweeb was caught up in it, but he flew off with the crumbs. Zach and Mako were seen sticking French fries up their noses.

 _"Not a trace…"_ CP10 was doing synchronized dancing with Rokushiki. Eldwin was there, but not Lucci. (Again, Vweeb flew over them.)

 _"Of doubt in my mind!"_ The party reached the lost dimension where Tachyon and Tallest Miyuki were dancing.

 _"I'm in love (ooooo) I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried."_ Sanula was happily playing his giant organ. Vweeb landed on one end of it, and with a sudden strum of keys, he was flung off, landing in Arianna's ice cream. Vweeb waved at her, and Arianna giggled.

The kids switched dance partners: Cheren now had Sheila, Anthony had Nebula, Sunni had Mason, Nagisa had Panini, Jinta had Maddy, Chris had Kodama—you mix 'em up!

Star Wolf was soaring in the sky on their Wolfens, which were on autopilot as they rode like surfers. Daddy waved down at his daughter, Carol. Jessie blew a bubble castle for Shelly, who posed proudly while the Minish KND, Team Rupert, and her family danced on her crown. Ib, Mary, and Madotsuki were bouncing inside the bubble castle. Emily used bending to levitate a metal platform for her, Sarah, Gary, Sheldon Cooper, and Amy Farah Fowler. Suki Crystal created a giant ice slide that curved around several buildings. April stood on a rooftop and made paintings of everyone's events.

 _"What's the use in trying?"_ Elsa fired a giant snowball at Jack Frost.

 _"All you get is pain."_ The snowball destroyed Cleveland's apartment, and down he fell. 

_"When I wanted sunshine, I got raaaaiin."_ The Spirit KND danced in midair. The water from Cleveland's tub drenched them, much to their chagrin.

 _"THEN I SAW HER FAAAACE!"_ Danika, Kayla, and Crystal were spinning Nolan's wheelchair around and around!

 _"Now I'm a believer! (HEY!)"_ Santa Claus was dancing with Mrs. Claus and Princess Anna was playing with Mr. Mogul and Simon (who were still Rainbow Monkey dolls).

 _"Not a trace…"_ Captain Slag and Black John Licorice were chugging soda and grog bottles—their drinks were mixed up, so they spat at both Rusty Petes.

 _"Of DOUBT IN MY MIND!"_ Jorgen von Strangle approached Boa Hancock with flowers. She scowled and PUNCHED him in the face.

 _"I'm in looooooove—I'M A BELIEVER!"_ Apis was trying to dance with Sipa, but the latter turned her into Vweeb and kicked her away.

 _"I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe—EVERYONE!"_ cheered Sugar.

 _"I… BE-LIEVE!"_ Morgan and the Corporate Presidents raised their arms.

 _"I… BE-LIEVE!"_ The former World Leaders raised their arms.

 _"I… BE-LIEVE!"_ Vaati and the White and Black Lotuses raised their arms.

 _"I… BE-LIEVE!"_ Team Gnaa raised their arms (just 'cause they're plotting something, don't mean they can't party).

 _"I… BE-LIEVE!"_ The Underworld prisoners raised their arms (watching the party on TV).

 _"I… BE-LIEEEEEEVE!"_

"Don't go to sleep, YET!" Mavis shouted into the microphone. "We have TONS MORE songs to GO!"

 _"TEN MILLION OUT OF TEEEEEEEEEN!"_ Meloetta screamed to the heavens.

And right they were. The party lasted for an entire month, and—honestly, it was more exhausting than the final battle. So, while everyone's dancing like there's no tomorrow, let us go over some things.

The Encyclopod restored countless races that had gone extinct, such as the White Asparaguses, the Shandians, the Smurfs, and even the Dark Leeches had their own planet. The Brotherhood of Evil was stronger than before, and they continued to challenge the Kids Next Door. Plus, even more villains began to appear and cause chaos. But we'll get to those later! You probably just wanna see the pairings!

To start off, Cheren and Panini married in their adult years, despite the former being three years younger, to which Panini would always tease his shortness. They gave birth to a son named Perry. He was a carbon copy of his father, save for freckles, black hair, green eyes, black shirt, green jacket, and green shoes. He had no bending, but he followed his father in the ways of the sword. His full name was Perry Cherry McKenzie Uno, and… he developed a fondness for food.

Chris Uno married Maddy in the future, and they had a daughter named Christina. She was a blonde-haired, red-eyed girl with a big mouth, and wore a light-blue T-shirt with black shorts and blue sandals. She was a feisty firebender that loved to get in fights, despite their parents' attempts to restrain her.

Zach Murphy became a star in Fegan Floop's new show. _Zach's Wacky Escapades_ became the funniest children's show. Zach married Mako, who had become a police officer, and they named their son Max Mako Murphy, who would continue his family's comedic legacy.

Mason and Sheila spent their post-high school years sailing the open seas and having more adventures, along with a few friends like Haylee. After getting drunk on an island, well, Sheila ended up pregnant. They settled down afterwards as Mason got a job for the Flurp Factory. Their son was named Luffy, and he was a raccoon Faunus like his mom. He had messy black hair and blue eyes, wore black shorts, green sandals, and an open green vest. His love for exploration mirrored his mother's, and he was energetic from dawn to midnight. Also, he's a lightbender.

Using the missions recorded in the Mission Simulator, Carol Masterson and Vanellope would develop them all into a videogame series based on their friends' adventures. The _Kids Next Door_ franchise became extremely popular, rivaling even _Mario_ and _Legend of Zelda_. Her games made her so rich, Carol quickly earned a place in the Corporate Presidents For Children's Entertainment. Having abandoned her romantic feelings for Mason, Carol eventually married Dillon York, and had a daughter named Silica York. With her father's goth demeanor combined with her mother's spoiledness, the child was a pain to raise. (P.S. Mason still owed Carol. His debt was now at 5,179 dollars.)

Vweeb and Arianna spent more time together, and as Arianna grew taller over the years, she made sure to look more beautiful and make Vweeb swoon over her. They got married and had a daughter named Lily, who was Kateenian-sized like her father, green skin with pink flower petals around her antenna ball. Arianna remained in her old house, but she fixed a small house for her husband and daughter in the garden. Lily loved to explore the forest-size garden, and since Arianna assumed the role of matriarch, Vweeb had to honor the Forest Goddess whenever she requested.

Chimney and Aeincha never developed an interest in boys, and only felt deep feelings for each other. Bon Clay Jr. agreed to be the surrogate father, allowing Chimney to have their daughter, Shimmy.

Wendy and Charle found the latter's old house and settled back in. Wendy spent the rest of her teenage years with her mother, living the life she's always dreamed, with curfews, chores, and rules. Wendy was never more happy, even though her father continued his revolutionary ambitions and she would often have to stop him. Wendy married Romeo Conbolt in the future and had a daughter named Aria.

Anthony married Fybi as you would expect, and had a son named Robi. Robi would become famous as the first known earthbending Nimbi (in the Posiverse, at least).

Nerehc Onu married Sipa, and their son was the opposite of Perry, Yrrep Onu. He possessed his father's bending, both darkness and fire, and had a deep rivalry with his Positive.

Nagisa Shiota married Morgiana and had a son named Karma. Born with his mother's Fanalis traits, Morgiana trained him in the Red-Foot Style. Sadly, his father was used for target practice. He was also ashamed of how tall Morgiana grew compared to him.

Aurora married Francis and had twins, Kirie Beatles married Tronta, Harvey Harper married Aranea, Terry Stork married MaKayla, Ururu married Jinta, Kodama married Quill Ramsey… and sooner or later, everyone else found their pairs. And those kids would go on to start their own adventures. But what challenges awaited our favorite kids at this moment? Well…

 **God Production**

The many eggs brimmed with light and finally hatched. A swarm of brand new Firstborn—one that looked like a genie, an orange and yellow one, one dressed like a pirate, one with a snowflake chest, a black shadowy one, a tiny dot-sized one, and many more burst from their eggs and set out to roam the universe. And they would spread chaos to the New Universe like no other.

 ** _The story continues in the Newborn Era._**

* * *

 **Man, I cannot believe we actually made it. The Seven Lights Saga, after three years of production, has finally ended! I am so proud of this story. Okay, this story in particular fell kind of weak and I have to rewrite the battles, but even then… this story, this entire universe that I created… I love each and every bit of it. None of you could possibly understand my pride for this series or how much work I put into making it. Every plot point, every bit of foreshadowing, every character… Even after this grand saga, I can't bring myself to end it now.**

 **As you can guess by those Firstborn, I do have another series planned. In fact, expect a few trailers for these upcoming stories. Thanks once again to IDA and Ohaymikoto for the regular reviews for this final adventure. This is Jared T. Warner, and stay tuned for… one final sad song.**

…

…

…

…

Somewhere, far beyond the reaches of the universe, people were gathered at a stranded bar. "End of the Road" it was called. People were moping in depression: Dwen Murphy, Newd Yhprum, Jason and Hannah Dimalanta, Sonia and Manic the Hedgehog, Sally and Harley Uno…

One of these forgotten beings stepped up on a karaoke stage. He was a golden triangle with a top-hat and one eye. Bill Cipher turned on the stereo and sang to the sad lyrics.

 _And so I'm alone… banished…_

 _From the Gameverse…_

 _Never to return… to…_

 _The Gameverse…_

 _"Don't forget ME," I cried!_

 _But alas, I've been cast aside_

 _Erased. Forgotten. Gone… forever…_

 _Now I'm gonna cryyyyy!_

The poor triangle wept on stage. His sobs filled the bar with more misery.

 _I've been stripped from my throne and I'm crying…_

 _I'm all alone… and I can't stop crying *sniff*_

 _My Lord has forgot me and I'm crying!_

 _Oh, if you only KNEW…_

 _The things I DID for you…_

 _H-He was my King… I- I- I was his Knight… *SNIFF, SNIFF*_

 _You would tremble by the thought of our might! *SNIIIIFF!*_

 _We had it all… we could have WON! *boo hoo*_

 _We crushed ALL the WORLDS… *sniff, sniff* and it was fun!_

 _And here I am… less… than nothing_

 _All I can do is cry…_

Another moment of sobbing. Bill cried so much that someone had to bring him a tissue. He was able to calm himself and keep singing.

 _We had women, treasures, and BOOZE!_

 _With Thirteen Darknesses, HOW could we lose?!_

 _The two of us would RULE… together_

 _A happy ending that lasted… forever_

 _But now… we're lost in the Realm… of Nether_

 _WHY can't I stop CRYIIIIING?_

He needed another moment to himself. They were starting to think they were happier without him.

 _We had a thousand worlds, now I'm crying…_

 _We had a million soldiers… now. I'm. Crying_

 _INFINITE POWER! And now. I'm. Crying!_

 _Oh, what am I to DO?!_

 _I'm erased… away from you…_

 _I stuck by your side and I'm crying…_

 _I waited a trillion years… NOW I'm CRYING_

 _Take Polokus, instead! Then THEY would be crying!_

 _It's over! I'm finished, THROUGH!_

 _All because of you…_

The last notes of the song played, and the last of Bill's tears dripped. He stood, sniffled, and wiped the last one. "Thank you. I'm here all week. Try the veal. Hey, ever hear about this guy named Moses?"

 **Characters owned by their respective multiverse rulers**

 **Published by FanFiction**

 **Presented by Gamewizard2008**

 **The Seven Lights Saga: _END_**


End file.
